Extraordinary Communication Skills3

Extraordinary Communication Skills 1
The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

The 9 Habits You MUST

Adopt to Develop
Extraordinary
Communication Skills

You probably have that feeling…
That feeling that no one understands you…
That no matter what you say, people just can’t seem to

grasp that things you want to express.
Now, in the flipside, you know it also happens to

others.
Perhaps, your spouse continually complains that you

just don’t get her.
Maybe, your co-worker often repeats things over and

over to you.
Now, think about it for a second.
Would you believe that these problems can

easily be solved by one thing?
That one thing is proper communication.
Why not?
If only people knew how to communicate

with others and express exactly what they
want, there would be less misunderstanding in
this world.
Don’t believe me?
Remember, some of the greatest conflicts in the

history of man are only caused by
misunderstandings.

If only people become better in communication, we

can avoid a lot of frustrations, dramas, and heartbreak.
Now, there’s a reason why nature gives us two ears

and one mouth.
The very fact that we have the anatomic facilities to

speak and hear means that we are social beings.
Everyone wants to be heard. But not everyone wants

to listen.
That’s why communication skills are super important.
When you know how to express your ideas and

understand what others want to say, then miracles
can happen.
This is exactly the reason why so many people want

to develop effective communication skills. But the
problem is, not all know how to achieve this.
Perhaps, you’re one of those people.
Thankfully, your journey to become a good

communicator this could start here.
In this eGuide, you will learn what it takes to be an

effective speaker.

What are
communication
Skills ?
In essence, communication skills give you the ability to understand and be
understood by others.
Communication skills are useful when:

▪ Talking to one person
▪ Talking to two or more people
The better your communication skills, the

better you become in interacting with
people.
In fact, most influential people in the

world are effective communicators.
Top entrepreneurs, such as Bill

Gates and Warren Buffett, highly
recommend that everyone should
learn how to communicate properly.
So, how exactly can you become a

better communicator?
The answer is by adopting

certain habits.
Read on to learn more!

Active
1 There’s a difference between hearing and listening.
When you hear, you only perceive sounds.
listening You don’t really pay attention to what is being said.
Listening is an indispensable tool for effective

communication.
You simply don’t just listen with your ears, but your whole
body.
Look in the eyes of the speaker.
Don’t turn away your body from the one who is speaking.
Refrain from interrupting.
Make sure that the speaker finishes what he/she wants to say.
Let the other person know that you are listening by reflecting
or rephrasing what is being said.
Nod if you must and briefly confirm that you’re listening by

saying:
▪ Uh-huh ▪ You’re right
▪ Uhm ▪ Okay
▪ Correct ▪ I see
▪ Yes ▪ I understand
People can easily detect people who are faking it.
So, be genuine and be intentional in your conversation.

The more you read, the more things you can

talk about.
Master the art 2 Now, if you still struggle in this area, check
this out.
of small talk James Borg, the author of Persuasion,

suggests the use of PHONE method.
Did you ever have that awkward situation PHONE is actually an acronym.
where you don’t know what to say?
Perhaps, you are in the middle of the

conversation and you simply run out of topics. P people
The truth is, you have the whole world to talk H hobbies
about.
So, it is not an excuse to not strike a O occupation

conversation or sustain it just because you
don’t know what topics to discuss. N news
This is where small talks come in. E education
When approaching a conversation, nobody
says you should start with big ideas.
When you remember the PHONE method,
To start a conversation, start with small talk.
you will never run out of topics to talk about.
Small talks are less threatening and simpler in
The PHONE method is effective when you
essence.
want to initially engage a person.
When you see the opportunity, you can then
Talking about people, hobbies, occupation,
bring your small talks to big talks.
news, and education gives you a wide range
Of course, you can’t give what you don’t have. of topics.
You can become a better conversant when you With the phone method, you easily establish
know a lot of things. rapport and build trust.
Become a wide reader. Once you got people’s trust, they open up to
you and more intimate information are
Read books, blogs, newspaper, and even ads.
shared.
You’ll be surprised by what you will learn.

Asking 3
Questions
What is the best way to show your

interest to a person?
You ask questions.
It is preferable to ask open-ended

questions. always remember:
These type of questions can’t be People would like to talk about

answered by yes or no. themselves.
Questions starting with what and how Whether you like it or not, that’s just how
allows for more information to flow. human nature works.
Close-ended questions, on the other As much as possible, in a conversation,

hand, can also be helpful. do less of the talking.
These questions start with did, do, Let the other party talk more than you.
should, could, have, must, is, and others.
Bear in mind, it’s not about you. It’s about
When you ask questions, be sure to them.
listen to their answers intently.
In the end, you get to know more about
This helps you to determine what other that person more than he/she knows
questions you would need to ask. about you.
Here’s something that you should You leave the conversation with more
learning than them.

Being Clear
4
And Succinct
Less talk, less mistake.
That’s what a wise sage once said.
In the same manner, when you talk to other people, it is

important to be concise in your word.
Being clear is equally important.
Use words that people can readily understand and relate to.
When you use flowery words, people might misinterpret what

you say.
Jargons are also a big no-no.
Perhaps, you have heard a person talk about their profession.
The problem is they used terms that are only familiar to them.
A doctor can use medical words. An engineer can use

mathematical terms.
They may sound an expert of their field, but they could still fail to
bring their message across because of the wrong choice of
words.
So, be clear, concise, and articulate.
Speak in a clear and audible voice.
By doing so, people around you would better understand what

you are saying.

People love givers.
Be 5 No doubt about that.
People would like to be around generous people rather
giving than the stingy ones.
You can take advantage of this natural tendency of people

and become an effective communicator.
There’s an unwritten principle that operates in this world.
It is called, the “Law of Reciprocity.”
This law tells us that when you give to others, they would
feel obliged to give back something that is of equal value.
So, what does this have to do with good communication

skills?
It is this:
You need to be kind, courteous, and polite in your choice of

words.
When you give positive energy to others, positive energy

will find its way back to you.
That’s just how this world works.
Oprah Winfrey once said:
“Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you'll
have to eat them, you can swallow it well.”
One good way to be giving in your words is to offer

compliments.
Now, people tend to believe criticisms more than

compliments.

For example, if you tell a person, “You’re Be observant.

stupid,” that person would believe that
You can surely see something to praise
you really mean that.
about in a person.
On the other hand, when you say,
Aside from compliment, be courteous.
“You’re beautiful,” the other party
becomes cautious. Make sure you use the following words
as well:
Before they believe that, they would
think of the reason why you are saying it. ▪ “Thank you”
So, what’s the solution? ▪ “Please”
Be specific. ▪ “Excuse me”
Rather than saying you’re beautiful, you ▪ “Sorry”

can say something like this:
▪ “pardon”
“The flower design of your dress
matches your handbag perfectly. It looks ▪ “Welcome”
good on you.”
These are just some of the words that
You see, being specific can make your would really make you more likable.
compliment more genuine and sincere.
When you become giving in your words,
A compliment should not be a form of people leave a conversation happier and
flattery. encouraged.
Practice
6 For example:
When a person says, “I love pop music.”
You can say, “I also love music in the pop

mirroring genre.”
If a person’s spoken words are filled with

energy, you need to keep up with the
A recent study in psychology shows the energy.
effect of mirroring in communication. Many
If the person speaks slow, then you need to
psychologists and communication experts
slow down as well.
now agree that mirroring build rapport
instantly. Mirroring can simply be done by With physical mirroring, you get to imitate
imitating a person’s: their action.
▪ Behavior If the other person crosses his/her arms,

you cross your arms too. If he/she puts the
▪ Posture
hands on their side, then you do too.
▪ Tonality Give this technique a try and you will see
▪ Position how it can easily create a connection.
▪ Mannerism
▪ Verbal approach
▪ Speaking style
Generally, there are two types of mirroring:

▪ Verbal mirroring
▪ Physical mirroring
Verbal mirroring is done by reflecting the

tone of voice, word choice, and
communication style of the other party.
This is where parroting comes in handy.

Clarifying 7
and Summarising It may sound a little exaggerated, but it
illustrates perfectly my point.
When you clarify, you don’t get into the

trouble of doing something that is not
One thing that most effective
meant.
communicators do is to reflect back
what they heard and understood. So, how can you summarise a person’s
message and reflect it back to them?
If anything is not clear, don’t be shy to
clarify. You can use statements like these:
It is better to ask rather than not being ▪ “I understand that you want to
sure what is being said. know more about how our
service work.”
A Chinese proverb said this:
▪ “To help you further, can you
“He who asks a question is a fool for five tell describe to me the
minutes; he who does not ask a question problem?”
remains a fool forever.”
▪ “Just to confirm, you want me
I believe there’s a lot of truth in to go to the fifth street.”
that.
Statements like these show that you are
really listening.
By repeating spoken words, you are also

instilling them in your mind.

Next, realize that your point of view is not
Use 8 necessarily correct.
Most often than not, you can only see things

superficially.
empathy You need to ask yourself:
“What are the things that make this person

Empathy is somewhat rare today. does what he is doing?”
People go on with their lives seeking to be When you know why people do what they do,
understood, while unwilling to understand it unlocks a better perspective in any given
others. situation.
So, what is empathy? A person who had a bad day might have lost
their pet.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the
situation of others and feel what they feel. A person who ignored you might have just
gone through a divorce.
It enables you to see other people’s
perspective and see things through their A person who cut you through in
vantage point. traffic might be in a hurry to be
with his family.
Having empathy unlocks better
connection to other people. Don’t be quick to judge.
Once you come past your own concerns, Use empathy.

you will soon discover how people see When you do, you will
things as well. surely become a more
Now, how do you become more effective communicator.
emphatic?
First things first.
You need to listen – not only to their words

but also to their actions.
Filter in their emotion.
Determine the intent behind every word.

Master non-verbal
9
communication
A great amount of communication is expressed through unspoken words.
If your words do not match your actions, your credibility gets a

hit.
Worst that could happen is that you might

communicate negativity.
You send a signal of weakness and lack of

confidence.
Now, non-verbal communication is a huge topic.
There are just so many areas in this habit that you should explore.
However, let me just give you a few tips.
Maintain eye contact.
They say the eye is the window to the soul.
When you make direct eye contact, it instantly establishes your interest to
the other party.
Eye contact also tells other people that you are confident, trustworthy, and
smart.
Don’t forget about your facial expressions as well.
They convey your emotion.
You may fake what you feel through spoken words, but it’s harder to put on
the wrong face.

Moreover, be mindful of your posture. crucial skill.
Stand up straight and avoid slouching. Once you master what every non-verbal
cue means, you will get better in
Here are a few quick tips for you to start
communication.
mastering non-verbal communication.
Develop your communication skills
If you want to project confidence:
today
▪ Maintain eye contact
Having the right communication skills
▪ Don’t slouch benefit almost all areas of your life.
▪ Keep an open gesture When you know how to express yourself,
you can:
If you want to project calmness:
▪ Better persuade others.
▪ Synchronized body movement
▪ Influence people into your
▪ Don’t look tensed thinking.
▪ Avoid fidgeting or swinging of ▪ Make more friends.
legs when sitting
▪ Impress other people.
If you want to project leadership:
▪ Understand others.
▪ Give a firm handshake
▪ Be understood.
▪ Tap others’ back or upper arm
▪ And most importantly, have a
▪ Keep a good posture
more fulfilling life.
f you want to project friendliness:
Read over the nine habits of listed on this
▪ Smile often eGuide.
▪ Keep a soft eye expression Get familiar with them.
▪ Avoid wearing cap, shades, or Study them thoroughly.

anything that covers your facial
Practice them in your every life.
expression
Once you have done all these things, I
Again, non-verbal communication can be can assure you, you are on your way to
a huge topic. becoming the greatest communicator
Make sure you read more about this that you’ll ever be.

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Extraordinary Communication Skills 1

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

The 9 Habits You MUST

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

You probably have that feeling…

That feeling that no one understands you…

That no matter what you say, people just can’t seem to

Now, in the flipside, you know it also happens to

Perhaps, your spouse continually complains that you

Maybe, your co-worker often repeats things over and

Now, think about it for a second.

Would you believe that these problems can

That one thing is proper communication.

If only people knew how to communicate

Don’t believe me?

Remember, some of the greatest conflicts in the

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

If only people become better in communication, we

Now, there’s a reason why nature gives us two ears

The very fact that we have the anatomic facilities to

Everyone wants to be heard. But not everyone wants

That’s why communication skills are super important.

When you know how to express your ideas and

This is exactly the reason why so many people want

Perhaps, you’re one of those people.

Thankfully, your journey to become a good

In this eGuide, you will learn what it takes to be an

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

Communication skills are useful when:

▪ Talking to two or more people

The better your communication skills, the

In fact, most influential people in the

Top entrepreneurs, such as Bill

So, how exactly can you become a

The answer is by adopting

Read on to learn more!

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

When you hear, you only perceive sounds.

listening You don’t really pay attention to what is being said.

Listening is an indispensable tool for effective

Look in the eyes of the speaker.

Refrain from interrupting.

Nod if you must and briefly confirm that you’re listening by

▪ Uh-huh ▪ You’re right

People can easily detect people who are faking it.

So, be genuine and be intentional in your conversation.

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

The more you read, the more things you can

of small talk James Borg, the author of Persuasion,

Perhaps, you are in the middle of the

So, it is not an excuse to not strike a O occupation

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

What is the best way to show your

You ask questions.

It is preferable to ask open-ended

These type of questions can’t be People would like to talk about

Close-ended questions, on the other As much as possible, in a conversation,

The 9 Habits You MUST Adopt to Develop Extraordinary Communication Skills

Less talk, less mistake.

That’s what a wise sage once said.

In the same manner, when you talk to other people, it is

Being clear is equally important.

When you use flowery words, people might misinterpret what

Jargons are also a big no-no.