Section A
THE bIbLE AND SCIENCE BY WILLIAM t. PELLEtIER, Ph.D. [WOODSIDE NEWS COLUMNIST]
Adam’s Mythical Diary 2
SATURDAY—The new creature eats too much
fruit. We are going to run short, most likely. “We”
again – that is ITS word; mine, too, now, from
hearing it so much. Good deal of fog this morn-
ing. I do not go out in the fog myself. This new
creature does. It goes out in all weathers, and
stumps right in with its muddy feet. And talks. It
used to be so pleasant and quiet here. WILLIAM . PELLE IER
Eve says, “I love to talk; I talk, all day, and
in my sleep, too, and I am very interesting, but
if I had another to talk to I could be twice as interesting,
and would never stop, if desired.
Mark Twain announced he translated Extracts
from Adam’s Diary (1904) from Adam’s original hi-
eroglyphics. The extracts are humorous but often de-
viate from Scripture. This month’s extracts begin with
Saturday of Adam’s second week.
“We” in Eve’s parlance is legitimate; the historic
Adam would not have objected. “We” does not begin
to express the full-orbed husband-wife union or-
dained by Yahweh and experienced by Adam and Eve
before sin. It’s much more than just “we”.
The secret to experience such union is given by
the Apostle Paul. Wives are to obey and respect their
husbands, and husbands are to sacrificially love and
honor their wives. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Much humor is built on the difference between
male and female approaches to conversation, but talk-
ing is an essential tool for building marital union. Adam
surely enjoyed conversing at great length with Eve.
SUNDAY—P u l l e d
through. This day is getting
to be more and more trying.
It was selected and set apart
last November as a day of rest.
I had already six of them per
week before. This morning
found the new creature trying
to clod apples out of that for-
bidden tree.
Six days of work and one
day of rest was the pattern instituted from the begin-
ning because Yahweh worked for six days and rested the
seventh during Creation Week (Genesis 2:2-3; Exo-
dus 20:9-11).
Adam would not have loafed as Twain depicts – at
least not before sin. Yahweh assigned Adam the work of
tending Eden and ruling over creation. (Genesis 1:28;
2:15) He was to do this for six days and then rest.
The Sabbath was to be a sign between Yahweh and
His people forever – a weekly reminder of Yahweh’s great
work of Creation. It was observed with a day of wor-
ship and rest from labor, just as Yahweh rested following
His work of Creation (Exodus 31:13-17).
Sunday was the first day of the week and a normal
work day until the New Testament church changed
the day of worship and rest from Saturday to Sunday
to commemorate the Resurrection.
The “forbidden tree” was the “tree of the knowl-
edge of good and evil.” Adam’s Diary calls it an apple
tree, but it was definitely not an apple tree. For Yahweh
said, “Every tree which has fruit yielding seed shall be
food for you.” (Genesis 1:29) Therefore the fruit of
the forbidden tree could not have had seeds. Apples
have seeds. Therefore apples could not have been the
forbidden fruit. Scripture doesn’t name the forbidden
fruit. It likely no longer exists.
MONDAY—The new creature says its name is Eve.
That is all right, I have no objections. Says it is to call it
by, when I want it to come. I said it was superfluous, then.
The word evidently raised me in its respect; and indeed it
is a large, good word and will bear repetition. It says it is
not an It, it is a She. This is probably doubtful; yet it is all
one to me; what she is were nothing to me if she would but
go by herself and not talk.
TUESDAY—She has littered the whole estate with
execrable names and offensive signs: This way to the
Whirlpool; This way to Goat Island; Cave of the Winds
AUGUST 010
this way. She says this park would make a tidy
, 1904
summer resort if there was any custom for it.
Summer resort – another invention of hers
– just words, without any meaning. What is a
summer resort? But it is best not to ask her, she
y F. S
has such a rage for explaining.
Adam first designated his wife as Ishah
(literally man-ess) or Woman, because she
was taken out of man (Genesis 2:23). Later
Adam named her Eve (meaning “life”), be-
P .D.
cause she was the mother of all the living
(Genesis 3:20).
Eve did NOT name herself. Scripture is clear:
Adam named her both generically and personally. He
knew Eve was a “She” immediately (Genesis 2:23).
Adam’s Diary is accurate in portraying language
being used from the beginning. Keeping a diary evi-
dences speaking and writing ability. Twain believed
Adam possessed language skills from the beginning,
for he has him writing within days of creation.
Twain’s Adam uses advanced vocabulary – words
like “superfluous” and “execrable.” Eve, too, can speak
and write, as she “litters” the estate with signs. They
communicate through spoken and written words.
Adam and Eve were created possessing language
skills. On the day God created him, Adam spoke,
naming numerous animals. He named his new com-
panion “Woman” reflecting an accurate understand-
ing of her origin.
Twain’s Adam and Eve are not the illiterate grunt-
ing brutes depicting early man in so many textbooks.
Eve conversed and debated with the serpent. Adam
Adam hieroglyphing and pictographing his diary before the Fall
Adam and Eve were not illiterate grunting brutes.
Scripture contains abundant evidence showing they
used fully developed language right from the beginning.
Adam never saw Niagara Falls; they did not exist
and Eve both verbally defended themselves to Yahweh before the Flood. The Falls were formed as a result of
after sinning. They named their children. Scripture
the Flood and the post-Flood Ice Age.
contains abundant evidence that man used fully de- The walls of Niagara Gorge are full of fossils from
veloped language right from the beginning.
marine animals buried in the Flood. Thus the Gorge
The first four chapters of Genesis, coming from and hence the Falls could not have existed before the
Adam’s written records (Genesis 5:1), are the authen-
Flood. The north-flowing Niagara River, dropping
tic Extracts from Adam’s Diary! 325 feet, empties Lake Erie into Lake Ontario. The
FRIDAY—She has taken to beseeching me to stop go-
geological layers over which the river descends today
ing over Niagara Falls. What harm does it do? Says it were deposited by Noah’s Flood 4500 years ago.
makes her shudder. I wonder why; I have always done it
Climate adjustments after the Flood probably led
– always liked the plunge, and coolness. I supposed it was to the Ice age. The Niagara area was covered with thick
what the Falls were for…. Swam the Whirlpool and the
layers of ice. As it melted and shifted, large quantities
Rapids in a fig-leaf suit. It got much damaged. Hence, of melt-water and debris carved out the Great Lakes
tedious complaints about my extravagance.
and the Niagara River around 4,000 years ago.
The Falls started at Queenston, Ontario, seven
miles downriver and eroded back upriver. The Falls
have been eroding five feet per year since the mid-
1800s when European settlers started observing them.
At this rate, it would take 7,000 years to erode from
Queenston to the present position.
At the beginning, however, the erosion would
have been far faster when runoff from the Flood and
Ice Age was much greater and sediment layers were
softer. So 4,500 years for the Falls to erode back to
their present position seems reasonable.
Adam never went over the Falls. He never swam
the Rapids or Whirlpool in a fig-leaf suit. These geo-
logical features did not exist in Adam’s day, and he did
not wear clothes before Sin.
E-mail Dr. Pelletier at BibleScienceGuy@
woodsidenews.org. Go to BibleScienceGuy.wordpress.com
for more Diary excerpts, pictographs, and commentary.
See May’s column for previous extracts. Follow Bible-
Science Guy at twitter.com/BibleScienceGuy.