CLEANING YOUR PLATE

Part 13 of Ecclesiastes
Pastor Mark Driscoll | Ecclesiastes 9:1-12 | June 29, 2003

Good morning. We are in the Book of Ecclesiastes. If you’re new, it’s our tendency just to go straight through Books of the Bible. We’re in my favorite
Book of the Bible this morning. And if you go to Chapter 9, that’s where we’re at. And what you’ll find is that as we’ve been going through the Book
of Ecclesiastes, a number of themes continually repeat themselves. And there’s a reason for that and that is that life is cyclical in nature and that there are
very important lessons that we need to continually remind ourselves of because we’re so prone to forget particular things that are so important for our
joy.

And so, while you guys are turning to Chapter 9, I will pray for our time together and we’ll see what kind of progress we make. Father God, we thank
you so much for this great Book of Ecclesiastes. I thank you for the wisdom that you poured into Solomon. God, we pray that we would learn from his
teaching, not from his life. That, in fact, we would learn the lessons that he has for us so that our joy would not outrun our days. God, we thank you for
this humble book of repentance from a dear brother who spent many years chasing things that he shouldn’t have been chasing. Loving things that he
shouldn’t have been loving. Doing things he shouldn’t have been doing. We thank you that this is a book of repentance and it shows us how important
it is to be a repentant people. That when we have sinned in error, to turn from those things and return to you. God, we ask that this morning, that you
would give us wisdom that is intensely practical for the eating of our food. Drinking of our wine. Kissing of our spouse. Working of our job. And
investing of our days to your glory and our joy. So, we ask that in Christ’s good name. Amen.

Solomon is going to talk today about this continual theme that he gets into of death. And what he’s basically saying is this. If you and I knew the day of
our death, that would change all of our other days. That is the big day. If we knew when our life would be over, we would carefully spend every
moment up until that point. We would look at our money. We’d spend it wisely. We’d look at our friends. We would enjoy them frequently. If we’re
married, we would kiss our spouse deeply. If we didn’t have a spouse, we would hustle up and get one. It would change the way we do things, right?
And what he’s saying is this. That because we are unaware of the day of our death, we tend to live our days as if they were infinite. That we’ll go on
forever. That life’s just going to keep on happening. That we’ll be healthy. That we’ll be alive indefinitely. As a result, we’re sort of careless with our
money and we’re careless with our friends. We’re careless with our God. We’re careless with our spouse. We’re careless with our time, and our
energy, and our money, and our words. Subsequently, it is possible for us to get closer to death, one day even taste death, and have regret because there
were all of these things that we should have done. They were all these days that should have been redeemed. There are all these people we should have
enjoyed. There’s all these things we should have done.

And Solomon has lived exactly that life. At this point, he’s just a burned out, perverted old man, who is reflecting back on his days, saying, “Golly, I
should have trusted the Lord. I should have done what he said. I’ve lived now with great regrets and God does forgive me and things are redeemed. But,
it wouldn’t it have been better had I invested my life differently?” And he’s admonishing the rest of us to take inventory and account of where we are.
And so, here’s what he has to say beginning in Chapter 9:1 about the importance of redeeming your days and making the most of every minute that
God gives you. So, he says, “I reflected on all of this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands. But, no man
knows whether love or hate awaits him.” What he says is this. Your whole life is in the hands of God. And the picture of God in Ecclesiastes is that
God is all loving and good and gracious. That he also sits on a throne and rules over our lives, what the Bible calls providence. And within that,
whatever comes into our life comes through the hands of God. If we’re rich, if we’re poor; if we’re healthy, if we’re sick; if we’re successful or a
failure, that ultimately came to us through the hands of God. And this is not a fatalism saying, “Well, God is in Heaven and I’m on earth and he just
drops on me whatever he thinks I need to deal with.”

What it’s saying is this. As things come to you in life, relationships, opportunities, friends, jobs, health, sickness, wealth, poverty, you received that
from God saying, “Well, God must desire for me to have this. Therefore, I will embrace it.” And this is important because much of the time, we try to
live a life different than what we have. And what Solomon is saying is this. That if God gives you circumstances in life, you embrace them and you
walk through them trusting that God is good and that there will be a way through those circumstances and that you’ll draw closer to him as a result of it;
as opposed to spending all of our energies, living a life that God didn’t get us. Living in ways that God didn’t call us and trying to take matters, literally,
into our own hands. Life comes. You accept and walk with God through it or you fight it and try and be your own God and get a different life
altogether.

And what he says is this. We’re in the hand of God and we know that for sure, but tomorrow the problem is we don’t know if love or hate await us.
That you and I don’t know tomorrow when we wake up, will we be appreciate by those that we care about? Will friends, family, be there to love us? To
encourage us? Will they be angry, and bitter and frustrated with us? He says that the future is filled with tremendous uncertainty. We don’t know how
people are going to respond. We don’t know how people are going to react. We don’t know how people are going to treat us, even people that we
depend on, people that we care about, people that we love. But, the one thing we can be assured of is that if we’re righteous people, if we’re people who
love God or people that are walking with God, whatever is out there and whoever is out there, that, ultimately, as we walk into the future, we go there
with God. That God loves us and that God is with us. And so, we need not fear the future. We need not fear people and their reactions in the future. We
need not seek to always be pleasing to them. We just need to trust the Lord, and walk with him, and do as he says. And there’s a comfort and a joy that
comes with that.

So, he goes on to say that, ultimately, as we walk into life, here’s what happens in verse 2. “All share a common destiny. The righteous and the wicked,
the good and the bad, the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices, those who do not. As it is with a good man, so it is with the sinner. As it is
with those who take oaths, so it is with those who are afraid to take them.” Here’s the point. Everybody dies. Everybody dies. How you view death will
absolutely control how you live life. If you believe that there is no God, and there is no judgment, and then there is no Heaven, you will live in light of
that. If you believe that there is God, and there is Heaven, and there is life to come, that will change the way you live.

Hebrews 9:27 says that, “It’s appointed once for a man to die, then for judgment.” The Bible teaches that we die and then we stand before God and God
determines our fate. Do we go into everlasting joy or everlasting punishment? And that is what the Bible teaches. Jesus spoke more of Hell than anyone
else in the Bible. People don’t like to talk about it. As I always say, the reason that the Bible paints Hell in such a bad light is it’s a deterrent, right?
“Hell’s terrible.” “Well, don’t go there.” That’s the point. “I don’t like that.” “Well, there’s a way around that. There’s a way around that.” You turn from
sin, trust in Jesus and avoid that fate. That’s why the Bible is so emphatically clear about it. Not because hates us; because God loves us. God wants us
to turn from sin, which leads to death, which leads to Hell; repent, which is then turn to him, which is repentance; and turn to life, which leads to Heaven
and leads to everlasting joy. That’s why he paints punishment in such a painful light, to turn us around so we don’t keep going toward that path of
destruction.

What he says is this, though. We all die. Good people, bad people die. Wise people, foolish people die. Sick people, healthy people die. We all die. We
could prolong it. We can drink bottled water and free range chicken. And we can buckle up. And have our vegetables.

(Laughter)

And take our supplements and exercise and you’re still gonna die. You’re all gonna die. Most people live as if this were not even a possibility for them,
particularly the people that are the age of most of you. Just reckless sexuality, food, alcohol, drugs. You don’t buckle up. Live forever. It says we’re all
gonna die. And I’ll tell you what. Once you know God and you know what awaits you in God, Paul says that death turns from being an enemy in 1
Corinthians 15 to, all of a sudden, being, in some ways, a gift that God gives because we’re liberated from a life of sin, and death, and folly, into a place
of joy where we see God face to face. Here’s his point. You’re gonna die. Be careful how you live.

He goes on, verse 3, “This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun. The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover, are full of
evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live and afterward, they join the dead.” What he does here is he connects death to sin. We hate death
because we weren’t built for death. Death is an enemy. We were created by the living God to be living people, who live forever with a living God.
That’s the way it’s supposed to be. But, because of sin, death comes. Paul says in Romans that, “The wage for sin is death.” Now, because of sin,
there’s death. That’s why he links sin and death together. The only way to get rid of death is to get rid of sin. That’s why Jesus had to die for sin, so
that we could live. We’re all gonna die. It’s coming quicker than we think, and if we don’t understand that, we will live, as he says in verse 3, with evil
in our hearts.

People who don’t fear God, people who don’t consider their destiny, people who don’t number their days, their hearts are full of wickedness and evil.
Some of you, the only reason you’re faithful to your spouse, the only reason that you pay your bills, the only reason that you don’t do terrible things, is
because you know some day you’re gonna die and you’re gonna stand before God. And you’re gonna have to give an account for your whole life. And
so, that changes the way you live. That’s why Proverbs, I think it’s in Chapter 1:4, says that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” People
who are scared of God live differently. People who are scared of God conduct themselves differently. That’s why, as Christians, we shouldn’t need
police officers. We shouldn’t need people to arrest us and throw us in jail, and restrain us, because we should know who God is and know that we may
have a short run in this life. But, ultimately, we’re gonna die. And we’re gonna get painted up like a circus clown. And we’re gonna get put in a box.
And that box is gonna get put in a hole. And our spirit is gonna leave the box. And it’s gonna go stand before the Lord. And we’re gonna have to give
an account. And that changes the way we live.

People say, “Well, I would steal this money ‘cause I’d never get caught.” “I would commit adultery with this person ‘cause I’d never get caught.” And,
as Christians, we believe, you’re gonna get caught. You’re totally gonna get caught. And God’s gonna open a can on you at the end of the age.

(Laughter)

And it’s not gonna go good. It’s not gonna go good. I’ve got little kids and I teach this to my children. Sometimes when kids sin, they do just like Adam
did in the garden and they run and hide. They sneak off and hide, right? My son, Calvin, we’ve got this candy drawer. It’s about, mmmm, this high. Just
high enough for him. We leave the candy in there. And people say, “Well, why don’t you move the candy? He keeps getting into it.” ‘Cause we’re
teaching him to not go into it. It’s the same reason why God put the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the middle of the garden. Gotta walk by it
every day. A little self-discipline.

(Laughter)
My son always gets in the candy drawer. When nobody’s looking, he’ll sneak over, open the candy drawer, and he’s digging through there and he’ll get
handfuls of everything he can and he’s running –

(Laughter)

− just as fast he can. He’s 18 months old. And he always goes and hides in the bathroom and shuts the door.

(Laughter)

He figures that if we can’t see him, he can eat ‘til his heart’s content. And, if you walk in, he’ll literally have like three or four suckers in one hand, all
with the wrappers off, and he’ll shove ‘em in and he’ll have a candy bar in the other and he’s just a double fisted glutton is what he is.

(Laughter)

And I walk in and I tell him, he’s 18 months old, “Calvin, God knows. Just ‘cause daddy is clueless and doesn’t know, doesn’t mean you’re getting
away with anything.” I tell that to my kids. “Just because we’re not looking, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count because God knows all. God sees all.
And some day, you’re gonna have to give an account for all the suckers that you stole to the living God.”

(Laughter)

“That’s the way it is.” Truly. Truly. Verse 4, “Anyone who is among the living has hope. Even a live dog is better than a dead lion.” A little proverb
there. What he says is this. “Well, would you rather be a dog or a lion?” Everybody would say, “I’d rather be a lion.” Even though it’s a cat, it’s a big
cat.

(Laughter)

If it was a dog and a cat, everybody would rather be the dog, except for the weird cat ladies who have six cats, but they don’t count.

(Laughter)

Everybody would rather be the dog unless you say the lion. And the lion’s a really big cat and everybody would rather be that, but would you rather be
a living dog or a dead lion? I’d rather be the living dog. ‘Cause in life, there’s hope. See, in life, there’s an opportunity to repent. There’s an opportunity
to learn. There’s an opportunity to grow. There’s an opportunity for you to change, for things to change. Once you’re dead, it’s all gone.

So, he goes on to say, for the living, know that they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward and even the memory of them is
forgotten. The sad part is when people die, we don’t even remember them. Let me ask you this. I was thinking about it. The guys who used to hang
together, Frank Sinatra – who else was in that group?

Response: Sammy Davis, Jr.

Sammy Davis, Jr., who else?

Response: Dean Martin.

Dean Martin.

Response: Joey Bishop.

Joey Bishop. Which ones are dead, which ones are alive? I have no idea. Isn’t that sad? Somebody asked me the other day, they said, “Is Bob Hope
alive?” I said, “I don’t think so, but I don’t know.” I don’t know and that – I – apparently, nobody knows. Because –

(Laughter)

− at some point, you die and people forget whether or not you’re even still here. We don’t know. The memory’s gone. All these great, wonderful,
glorious people who do all these amazing things, they die and it’s like, “Who were they?” Memory fades. You’re gonna die. You’re gonna stand before
God and you would like it if all the people got together every year and declared a holiday and talked about you, but they won’t. They won’t. How many
of you have had people die that you love and you don’t even really think about them that much and you hardly ever talk about ‘em? They’re just gone.
Their love, their hate, their jealousy have vanished. Never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun. All the things we give
ourselves to. All the petty little, stupid stuff, “I hate you.” “I hate you.” “No, I double hate you.” “I’m jealous. Oh, they got a new car. They got a new
house. Their butt’s smaller than mine. I’m jealous.”

(Laughter)

We get all petty about stuff. We do. You know, we do. We just – we get jealous. We get angry. We love. We hate. All of these petty little things we get
tied up in. What he says is this. “You’re gonna die. It’s gonna be over. Your memory’s gonna be faded. And what this does, it sobers us up to say,
“What am I doing with my time? What am I doing with my days? What am I doing with my emotions? The people that I hate right now”, just in general,
the question he’s asking is this. Is it really worth it to spend all this time and energy while I’ve only got a few short days on the earth hating you? Is it
really a good investment of my time? Loving you – “I love you. I love you.” Well, is that a person worth loving? Have you committed yourself to a
relationship that, you know, if you’re dating somebody or – is it really love? Is it worth all that time and energy? It’s gonna take your whole life. All of
our jealousy. All of our love. All of our hate. All of our anger. All of our emotion. All of our passion. All of our relationships. All of our pettiness.
What he’s saying is this. Is it worth it?

There’s people in this room that are bitter. Haven’t spoken to friends or family members in a long time. Is that how you wanna spend the little bit of time
you got? Is it worth it? Is that a good investment? No, it’s not. What does is he sobers this up. You’re gonna die. You’re gonna stand before God.
You’re gonna give an account. Nobody’s gonna remember that you were ever born and all the piddly, petty little stupid, foolish stuff that you’re
wasting all your energy on right now, doesn’t even matter. That’s life. Now, what he does is he says, “You know, that’s pretty sad. You sin. You do
evil. It’s in your heart. You get angry. You get jealous. You get mad. You waste days. You waste money. You waste time. Then you’re gonna die and
you’re gonna stand before God and he’s gonna judge you and send you to hell. That’s a terrible plan.” I mean, even if you went to public school, he’d
go, “You know, that’s not a good plan.”

(Laughter)

“That’s a terrible plan. That’s a terrible plan.” He starts then, in verse 7, he says, “Well, here’s plan B. Plan B is God’s got another way.” Verse 7,
here’s God’s way. Repentance looks like this. First thing, as long as you’re alive, days are short, right? Your memories are gonna be gone. Your people
are gonna be gone. You’re gonna be gone. Here’s what you do. “Go eat.” Okay, he keeps coming back to this theme. Now, I keep saying it. What he’s
not talking about is gluttony. We are the nation that invented the all you can eat buffet, right?

(Laughter)

Some of you, I’ve said before, know how many shrimp you can eat. That’s not good, okay?

(Laughter)

That’s a problem. But, what he’s saying is this. Eat. While you’re alive, eat. Eat good food. Eat good things. Last night I laid in bed with my lovely wife
and I had these really good crackers and a really good, I think you say that it’s asiago hard cheese, and fresh turkey, and grapes. See, that’s Biblical.

(Laughter)

That’s Biblical. You should eat good food. And you should – he tells us how to eat our food. Go, eat your food with gladness. Be happy. Get your
friends together and have a bite to eat. You say, “But, I’m gonna die someday.” That’s right, so you better enjoy your friends as quickly as you can. If
you and I knew the day we were gonna die, the days before that, how would we spend our time? Would we spend it by ourself being all bitter and
angry and frustrated? Or would we spend it having meals with people we love? We’d spend it having meals with people that we love. So, what he says
is this. “As long as you’re alive, go eat your food with gladness. Get people together you love. Barbeque. Get some dead animal and lay it on your grill
and worship the Lord. That’s what you need to do.”

(Laughter)

Go eat your food with gladness. It says in Ecclesiastes 10:19 that a feast is made for laughter. That you should get together with your friends, and eat
something, and enjoy one another’s company. I tell you what. This is a great section of Scripture for the 4th of July holiday, right? When you get
together with people you love, laugh, eat, be a Christian. Be the kind of person that enjoys your days. In addition, drink your wine, okay? It’s a
command from God.

(Laughter)

“Drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.” Alright, in Psalm, I think it’s Chapter 104:14-15, it talks about all
these things that God gives us. It says that God gives us wine, which gladdens the heart of man. You say, “Well, I’m gonna die. What should I do?” Eat
good food, drink good wine, with good friends. You say, “Well, isn’t there anything more important to do?” Let me ask you this. Is there anything more
important than that? There’s nothing more important than that. Nothing in the world more important than that. When we get to Heaven, what are we
going to be doing for those of us who love Jesus? Revelation 19, the wedding supper of the Lamb. We sit down with Jesus. Food, drink and friends.
It’s not gluttonness and drunkenness. Food, drink and friends. In Isaiah, I think it’s around Chapter 28, it says that, “In that day, when we get into
God’s kingdom, there will be the choicest of food, the best of wine, and the best of friends.”

Have you ever been to the best party? I’m not talking like the drunken, frat guy, you know, keg of cheap beer named after an animal. Pizzas from some
place that buy one, get one free. I’m talking about a really good party. Good food. Good wine. Good friends. Good company. Good laughter. Good joy.
And you walk away feeling like you’re stomach’s full and your soul’s full too. Like, “Golly, that was the best use of a few bucks and a few hours that I
have had in a long time.”

My wife and I have been privileged over the last few months to have a few nights like that with certain people. We walk away just going, “Golly, that
was the most enjoyable few hours we’ve had in a long time. Those people are so great. Those people are funny. It’s so great to see what God’s doing in
their life. Man, the food was great. Wasn’t it nice to sit down on the deck now that the weather’s a little nice and have a glass of wine? And wasn’t that
great?” Eat your food with gladness. Drink your wine with a joyful heart because it is now, today, that God favors what you do. You’re alive. You’re
alive. What a precious gift that God has given. If you like food, if you like drink, if you like life, if you like God, if you like people, you have to put
those together. And it’s practice for the kingdom is what it is. So much of the time, we can get so petty, arguing, fighting, jealousy, hatred, anger, he
says, that we don’t get together with our friends and family. Very, very sad, indeed. We get so consumed with our work that we don’t take time to eat
our meals. Very, very sad.

At the end of a good meal, I do like a glass of merlot. Just sort of settles. Wine that gladdens the heart of man. Am I saying you should get drunk? No.
Am I saying that if you struggle with alcohol you should drink? No. Am I saying if you’re with people who struggle with alcohol, that you should
drink around them? No way. But, what we are about as Christians is not holiness by abstention. Some of you are learning this in Ecclesiastes. It’s a very
important lesson. Some of you have been told, “You’re holy by abstention. Don’t eat. Don’t drink. Don’t laugh. Don’t have sex. That makes you holy.”
No, that makes you weird.

(Laughter)

That makes you weird. We’re not about holiness by abstention. We’re about holiness by redemption. Drink in a way that is redeemed. Eat in a way that
is redeemed. That way you won’t be a drunkard and a glutton. Make love in a way that is redeemed. Then, you’ll be a husband or a wife, not a pervert,
right? We’re about holiness by redemption. Taking things that the Lord made good, that Satan and sin, and the world, and the flesh corrupts as bad,
redeeming it, and bringing it back to the Lord and using that good thing in the way that God intended. Things, in and of themselves, aren’t good or bad.
Sex isn’t good or bad. Money isn’t good or bad. Food isn’t good or bad. Alcohol isn’t good or bad. It depends. Is it being used in a way that is
redeemed? Connected back to Jesus in a way that is Biblical and honors God? Holiness by abstention ends up, basically, teaching people, “You can be a
good person by not enjoying your life. By not ever having fun. By looking like you just ate milk past the pull date. And when you live that kind of, sort
of abstentionist lifestyle where you abstain from things that are enjoyable so you can be holy, you end up being just like the Pharisees who killed Jesus.
So righteous that there’s no room for him because they even accused him of being a what? Drunkard, glutton, friend of sayers. I think it’s Matthew
10:19, off the top of my head. You say, “Well, why?” Because Jesus didn’t abstain from food, or drink, or friends. But, Jesus had friends, and food,
and drink in a way that was redeemed. It was redeemed. That was brought back to proper use as he, as the creator of those things, intended for them to
be done.

Guys, our days are short. We need to eat and drink our wine with a joyful heart. With gladness. Why? Because, and here is the key, God, our God, is in
control of all the details of our life and our good God is in control of all the details of the life to come. We trust the Lord. This is an issue of faith.
Laughter is evidence that you trust God. Taking time off to be with friends is evidence that you trust God. Eating food that is good and savoring every
bite is evidence that you love God. It’s evidence that you trust God. People who don’t love God, they’re freaked out. They’re stressed out. They’re
worried. Why? Because they believe that life is under their jurisdiction and control and they can’t pull back to enjoy the life that God has given.

A couple of other things. Eat your food, drink your wine. I would recommend red wine. You pray about it.

(Laughter)

Eat, drink, verse 8, always be clothed in white. In memory of that, I wore an orange shirt. What a loser.

(Laughter)

I was gonna wear a white shirt. I’ll tell you my white shirt story. I lost weight. None of my clothes fit. I look like a little kid wearing all his dad’s
clothes. And so, I went looking for white shirts and I couldn’t find anything that I liked because they weren’t black.

(Laughter)

So, I didn’t wear a white shirt, but what he’s talking about here is wearing a white shirt and he said, “What kind of deal is that? That’s like some sort of
weird, freaky cult.” No, you wear white under what circumstances? When do you put on a nice, white shirt? Or, ladies, when do you put on a nice white
dress?
Response: (Inaudible comment).
Yeah, wedding, in particular. Formal events. Formal events that are well planned so that they’re going to be a very formal occasion. A woman, on her
wedding day, wears white, in part, because in Revelation 19, it tells us that Jesus is a groom. That the church is his beloved bride. That he has cleansed
us from all of our sin. That we are pure, and holy, and blameless because of him and, therefore, at the end of the age, the church will be clothed in
white. So, on their wedding day, wives, as a bride, symbolizing the work of Jesus in the church, wear white. Purity, holiness, cleanness. In the same
way, when we get together for very formal events, men put on a nice, pressed white shirt. It’s a formal opportunity to celebrate. These are the events
where we get intentionally dressed up. Where we get intentionally prepared for good feasting. How many of you really like to get dressed up nice and
go out for a well planned evening of events? How many ladies like it when you see the man that you love shaved, showered, cleaned up, nice, pressed
white shirt on, well dressed? Pick you up to go out to a nice dinner where you can eat and drink? To go out for an evening together with friends, maybe
a formal occasion? Should God’s people be doing such things? We’re gonna die. We gotta hurry. Time is moving quickly. We shouldn’t even be here
right now. We have very important things to be doing
(Laughter)
White may refer to purity. White. You probably, though, in light of the context, refers to great times together. How many of you women that are married
– you don’t have to raise your hand – when your husband, before you married him, he did dress differently than he does now when you go out? He
would show up and he would have a nice shirt on and nice pants. And he would look nice. And now, he has sweats with elastic in the waistband.
(Laughter)
And he’s intending on using all the elastic.
(Laughter)
That’s Godless. That’s evil. That’s wicked. You should get a white shirt, not a t-shirt. You should get a white shirt with buttons and a collar. And you
should get pants that aren’t jeans or sweats. And you should take your wife out. See, here’s one of the great mistakes that men make. They court their
wife, then they get their wife, and they stop courting their wife. That’s a terrible evil. That’s a terrible evil. When you get married, it’s not that courtship
ends, there’s just more stuff you could do.

(Laughter)

It’s an upgrade.

(Laughter)

That’s what it is. Every single Friday night for – my wife and I are coming up on 11 years of marriage on August 15th. Our first date was March 12,
1988. That’s how long we’ve been together. My high school sweetheart. Every Friday for all of our marriage, 11 years now, every Friday night is date
night. It’s sacred. I don’t do wedding rehearsals. I don’t do weddings. I don’t do events on Friday night. Nobody calls. Friday night is for me and my
wife. We get dressed up. We go out to dinner. We go out to a concert. We go out to a movie. We go out to a party. We’ll go have dinner on the beach.
This last Friday, we went out to dinner. We came back. The weather was nice. I set up the deck. The kids were at the grandparents’ house. We always
have sitter on Friday night. The grandparents take the kids. Set up a table and chairs out on the deck, out of our bedroom, overlooking the water. And I
put an oil lamp out there. And we sip tea, and drink wine, and eat cheese, and visit outside for a couple of hours, and watch the sun go down in the dark.
One of the best things about being married is that you still get all the joys of dating. Going out. Having fun. Getting dressed up. Courting one another.
That’s what he’s talking about. If you’re gonna die someday, you know, you better eat, drink, and get dressed up as quickly as possible.

For those of you men that have sinned against your wife because you don’t dress up and look good. And you stink. And you lay around the house.
You’re starting to sort of become part of the furniture. You need to repent of that. Go get some nice clothes. Shock her. Shave. Bathe. Take her out
somewhere nice. Drop lots of money so that she feels as if she’s loved. How many women, you’re okay with that?

(Laughter)

I’m okay with that. A couple of other things to do. Eat and drink. Get dressed up and have a good time. At the end of verse 8, “And always anoint your
head with oil.” There’s a debate theologically here about what this means. Probably, what I think it refers to is this. In a hot, arid, dry climate, this is
basically their equivalent of lotion to keep the skin in good condition. I think it all ties together. When you go out for a nice time together with someone
that you love, you what? You prepare yourself. Ladies, put on all kinds of mysterious things that we don’t know what they are.

(Laughter)

I have little jars of stuff all over my house and I don’t even know what it is. I won’t even go near it. I’m afraid. But, my daughter, intuitively, just
knows what it’s all for. She’s five and she’s got all these little things. And my wife’s got all these little things. And I’m far simpler. But, what it is, is
it’s preparing yourself. Gentlemen, if you love a woman, you should put lotion on your hands. Why? Her skin is different than yours. You don’t want
these scaly hands all over that lovely woman. That would be inappropriate. Clip your nails, brush your teeth, get a breath mint. Shave so that when you
kiss her, it doesn’t hurt, right? So, you don’t wound her with like 80 grit sandpaper.

(Laughter)

If you do have a beard, put conditioner on your beard so that it’s very soft, so when you kiss her, it doesn’t scratch. Be a Christian.

(Laughter)

Right? Be a Christian. Take care of yourself. Put on deodorant. Put on cologne, gentleman. How many men like it when their wife is ready to go out for
a nice evening and you get to smell her? Ohhh, nothing smells quite like a woman. It’s a great gift that God gives a man. A man could never replicate
that scent no matter what he did.

(Laughter)

If he could, they’d have air fresheners that smelled like that for his truck.

(Laughter)

That’s what it is. It’s taking care of yourself. Taking care of your skin. Grooming your beard. It’s your wife shaving her legs, right? None of these un-
Biblical French women. We’re not down with that.

(Laughter)

It’s taking care of yourself. Smelling good. Looking good. Feeling Good. Eating good. Drinking good. Laughing good. Being a Christian. Does that
sound good? See, this is good. What he’s saying is this. You’re gonna die. “So what?” You better get dressed up. You better get dinner reservations.
You better go out. I’ll tell you a little secret, too, for you guys. This is what happens when you preach without notes. Things just happen. That’s the
way it’s gonna be.
(Laughter)

There is a restaurant chain. I think it’s called Restaurants Unlimited, gentlemen, and they have this great dinner twilight special. You go in before 6:00
and you can get a beautiful dinner at a nice restaurant for a very reasonable amount of money. A couple of my wife’s favorite restaurants are in there,
one in particular she loves. If you don’t have a ton money, be creative. Hit an early dinner. Get dressed up as best you can. Love. Enjoy. Savor the
moments that God gives you together as a couple, and that God should give you with your friends. All of this does lead into marriage. That’s where he
goes in the next verse. That’s why I keep leaning that direction.

Enjoy life with your wife whom you love, right? That’s what wives are for. Wives are for loving. All the days of this meaningless, trivial, peculiar little
life that God has given you under the sun, on this earth. All your meaningless, trivial, silly, little days. Enjoy your wife. Eat. Drink. Get dressed up.
Enjoy your wife. That is God’s gift to you. Now, I know in this church, probably 50 or 60 percent of you are single. It’s good for you to start thinking
about these things in advance. To start praying and preparing yourself in advance. For you men to go buy a white shirt.

There are two kinds of wives according to the Bible. Proverbs Chapter 12, I think it’s verse 4, says that there are two kinds of wives. One kind is a
crown, the other is a decay. It says that, “A wise woman is a crown on her husband’s head.” It’s glory, is what it is. Magnificence. It says that, “Other
wives are decay in a man’s bones.” You see the guy and it looks like he just got kicked in the groin on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(Laughter)\

It just – he looks like he’s in turmoil and agony. And then you see his wife, and you go, “Ohhh. I know how that happened.”

(Laughter)

His whole life is about the groin shot. That’s his whole existence is a continual groin shot.

(Laughter)

Uhhhh. Now –

(Laughter)

− what he says is this. That men should enjoy their wives, whom they love. It says in Proverbs 18:22 that, “A wife, a prudent wife, is a gift from God.”
It says that he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor or grace from the Lord.” Gentlemen, is it good to find a wife? It is exceedingly
good. In Genesis, the one thing we were told is it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. We’re told in Proverbs it is good to find a wife. We’re told that not
all women, though, are going to be crowns. Some are going to be cancer. So, we have to pick carefully, gentlemen. Pick carefully. Pick a woman that is
worthy of love and through love, will be a crown. Then, it’s easy to love her.

For the ladies, I would say this. If the goal is for you and your husband to love each other and enjoy your life, you can give him a shortcut by what? By
being lovely. Lovely women are easier to love. It’s not a big secret. Enjoyable women are easier to enjoy. Some of you are saying, “That’s sexist.” No,
it works. In a day where marriage begins and ends in the time it takes me to grow a beard, we need to be a little more practical about things. And I’m not
saying there is never a cause for divorce. I’m saying this. That women need to be careful who they become and that men need to be cautious in who they
choose. Very careful.

In this church, among the single women, do we have lots of crowns or lots of cancers? What do you think? We have lots of crowns. We have lots of
crowns. I will say this as well about the married women in this church. I have never seen a group of wives that is more beautiful and lovely than the
women in this church. That’s a compliment to you all and I complement you on behalf of your husbands. The continual conversations about the women
in this church that I’m privileged to overhear are far different than those that go on outside of these four walls. Outside, it’s not about, “I love my wife. I
enjoy my wife. Man, we get dressed up and have fun. We eat good. We drink good. We laugh good. We live good. We’re squeezing every day for it’s
worth. She is a crown. She is a joy. She is good. She is one of the ways that God gives his kindness to me.” See, there are very few places that those
sort of things are said. Usually, when the men are together, they say deplorable things about their wives. They talk about her as a cancer. In this church,
there are women who are crowns and there are women who will be crowns. That’s what there are in this church. If you’re a woman, and you’re
married, and you’re not a crown, and you’re making it very hard for your husband to love you and enjoy the days you have together, repentance and
wisdom is going to be very important for you.

We had a guy visit the church not too long ago. He’s a non-Christian. Very prominent, affluent, wise, well educated man. He’s unmarried. He’s a bit
older. And he said something very curious. He said, “Where did you get all these women?”

(Laughter)

It was a weird question. Like we have a draft system. Like, “I’ll give you three cancers for one crown.” You know, like a trade. You know, like – so,
we can get all the crowns here. And I said, “Well, that’s a weird question.” He said, “You know, you have beautiful, sweet, happy women everywhere.”
I said, “I know. That’s why we have so many guys. Yes, I know.”

(Laughter)

Shortest distance between two points. I mean, you know, it’s – and he – it was interesting what he said. He said, “If I would have met one of these
ladies, I wouldn’t be single.” I said, “They wouldn’t marry you because you don’t love Jesus.” Like attracts like. In Genesis, it’s each after its own kind.
I’ll tell you what. I’ll be completely honest with you. My wife, do I enjoy her? My golly. She’s the taproot of joy in my whole life. She’s enjoyable.
She’s easy to love. She’s like gravity. She just draws me to her. I can’t help myself. Your meaningless little days. Your silly, trivial, little petty
existence. You know what? A wife is a great gift of God to make those days worth living. Truly.

My life wouldn’t have the joy that it does without my wife. It’s at the point now, I don’t know where I end and she begins. We’re just all connected, one
life, one person. It wasn’t always that way. I was very selfish. And very short-tempered. And very curt. And very mean to her when we first got
married. But, the good news is she is truly a crown. What a joy. You know, I met my wife when I was 17 years of age. I was a junior in high school.
Smitten with her. Knew her for a week. Told her I was gonna marry her. We got married when I was 21 and in college. She bought me my first Bible.
I’m preaching to you this morning out of that Bible. My wife and I now, we’ve been together, dating and married, for 15 years. Do you know how
many times my wife has raised her voice at me? Yelled at me? Never. You know, I know you Italian women are going, “No, that’s not possible.”

(Laughter)

It is. It is possible. She has never raised her voice at me. She has never yelled at me. Ephesians 5 says that men want respect. Does that mean she
doesn’t get her way? Of course, she gets her way.

(Laughter)

The Bible says the man is the head. That movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, they’re right. The woman is the neck. That’s true.

(Laughter)

Of course, she gets her way. If she is beautiful, and sweet, and lovely, and enjoyable, she wins every time. And I’m happy. I’m happy to make her
happy. I’ll give you an example between a cancer and a crown.

My wife does lots of things that I don’t do. She ironed my shirt this morning. You know why? She got up early and ironed my shirt so I could wear
this lovely orange shirt because one time she didn’t, and I put my shirt on and it was wrinkled and I tried to iron it while I was wearing it.

(Laughter)

And I burned my nipple. Have you ever done that?

(Laughter)

That is excruciating.

(Laughter)

I’m sitting there with an iron like, “I’ll just iron the front” ‘cause when I preach, you don’t really see the back.

(Laughter)

So, I’m thinking, “I’ll just iron the front.” I’m ironing, ironing, ironing. (Gasping).

(Laughter)

Flesh wound on my chest. Terrible. So, anyways, every day I would get up and I would use a different towel and I’d throw it in the hamper, not
thinking that my wife, not the towel fairy, is the one who actually does the laundry.

(Laughter)

And so, here’s my wife. My wife, one night we’re laying in bed. I just had a glass of cabernet. Very happy. She gives me a full massage. We’re
visiting, watching a movie. She’s running her hands through my hair. I’m as happy as I could be. I said – I looked at her – I said, “Honey, is there
anything I can do for you?”

And she says, “Well, it would be nice if you used a towel for more than one day.” I can do that. I can do that. Seriously, a couple of weeks later, I’m
talking to this guy whose wife is a total cancer. And she was talking to my wife and she asked the towel question. She said, “How do you get him to not
just throw his clothes and his towel in the hamper every day when he – when they’re not dirty?” She says, “I yell at him. I scream at him. I threaten him
and it doesn’t work.” Duhhh. No, it doesn’t work.

(Laughter)

Because an enjoyable woman is easy to love and, therefore, her husband is happy to do whatever it takes. My wife, “Here’s you new car. We’re looking
now. Here’s your new house. What do you want? Here’s our vacation. Here’s my kisses, hugs. Here’s – let’s go out to eat.” “What do you want?” “I
want you to be happy. That’s what I want.” My whole goal is to see my wife smile. And I love her laugh. I love to hear her smile. I love to hear her
laugh. That’s all I want because she is the source of so much joy in my life. See, that’s what he says. Wise women know that life is short and getting all
bitter, and angry, and frustrated, and jealous, and mad is a waste of time. You should enjoy your life. You should be lovely. Make a shortcut for your
husband. You should eat good. And drink good. And laugh good. And enjoy your friends. And get dressed up and go out and have nice times together.
Some of you that are married and you’re here, it’s gonna be really important for you before you take communion today, if you’ve got any business
between the two of you, to clean it up and clear it up. To make sure that you – you get your time to repent of your sins.

And I’ll say this, too. Two things. One for the women, one for the men. One for the woman is this. If you would like your husband to enjoy you, what
you’ll need to do is very simple, but most women don’t do this. You’ll need to ask him. There’s this propensity, particularly among new wives and there
are 60 weddings a year in this church, so there’s a lot of new wives. There’s a propensity for wives to read books about being a wife, and then do all
the stuff the book says. But, the book was written by a woman who did things in relationship with her husband, but she’s not in relationship with your
husband. And so, all this stuff that made their marriage work may not be the stuff that makes your marriage work. Now, there’s principles from the
Bible, but the methods, you’re gonna have to sort out. The best thing you can do, ladies, is ask your husband, “Do you enjoy your time with me? What
do you enjoy about us? What do you enjoy about me?” That’ll start to give you some clues. And for the men, you will need to continually remind your
wife of the specific ways that you love her and you enjoy her. You’ll need to continually tell her those things. As soon as she does them, “Thank you.
That was great. I enjoy you.”

I was really conscious of this all week with my wife, and every time she would do something nice, say something nice, she just smelled good, she
looked good, whatever it was. I told her, “Honey, I enjoy you so much. You make it easy to love. You draw me in. Thank you.” Last night, I was out
running some errands and I came home and my wife was laying in bed, and she was reading theology. I walk in and I saw her there. Just – she looked
relaxed, peaceful. She’s laying in bed propped up and she’s reading. And I just said, “Honey, it is so beautiful just to see you studying the Scripture.”
Just continually reinforcing all of those reasons that you love the person that you’re with. Your days are short. That’s the point, right? You’re gonna
die. So what? Do we freak? Do we fret? Do we worry? No, here’s what we do. We eat. We drink. We laugh. We get dressed up. We have good times.
We marry people that are on the same page worshiping the same God, and we fall in love, and we do it together. That’s the Christian life. That is the
Christian life.

He closes then at the end of verse 9. “For this is your lot in life and your toilsome labor under the sun.” Is life hard? Is life toil? Is life frustrating? Is
life complicated? Yes. Yes, it is because sin came into the world. “Who can straighten”, Solomon says, “what God has made crooked?” But, the key to
being happy is this. Accept your lot in life. If you’re married to someone, you’re gonna have to find out how to stay in love and enjoy that person
forever. That’s your lot. If you have kids, those are your kids. You can’t trade ‘em in. Can’t trade ‘em in. Those are your kids. That’s your lot. If
you’ve picked a career, if you’ve got a job, if you’ve got friends, you got parents, you got family, that’s your lot. You say, “That’s not what I would
have wanted.” Well, go back to the beginning. That came through the hands of God. This is the life that he’s given you. There is joy in this life. There is
hope in this life. There are good times in this life. You’re just gonna need to accept the lot you’ve been given and move forward. And it’s not a fatalism
here, saying, “Oh, God gives me a life and I’m stuck with it.” No, the only way, he’s gonna tell us in a second – well, I’ll read it to you first.

Here’s how you find your lot. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave where you are going, there is neither
working, nor planting, nor knowledge, nor wisdom. Here’s the point. God has your life figured out. You’re on an Easter egg hunt to figure out what all
the days looks like in the meantime. The key is, to some people, get real fatalistic and they say, “Well, everything’s in God’s hands. I can’t change
anything. I can’t do anything. I’m gonna be indifferent and unbiblical. No, the way you find out your lot is by what? Working as hard as you can.
Working your job. Loving your spouse. Paying your bills. Mowing your lawn. Doing your dishes. Raising your kids. Reading your Bible. Repenting
of your sin. By doing everything you possibly can, that’s how you find your lot. That’s how you find it. People say, “Well, I don’t know what God has
for me.” Get going. You’ll find it by doing. You’ll find it by living. And here’s what he says. “God may know these things, where we’re going.” He
may know our lot. He may know what our lives are gonna look like. He may know – he does know how many days we’re gonna live. When we’re
gonna die. How we’re gonna laugh. What we’re gonna eat. God knows everything. But, we don’t.

And here’s the good news. “I’ve seen something else under the sun.” Verse 11. “The race is not to the swift.” Have you ever seen the fastest runner
lose a race? It happens, doesn’t it? “Or the battle of the strong?” Have you ever seen the wuss beat the bully up? Get the luck shot to the glass jaw, and
down he goes. Sometimes, the fast guy loses. Sometimes, the tough guy, like Goliath, goes down. “Nor does food come to the wise.” Sometimes, it’s
simple people who eat better than those with PhDs. “Or wealth to the brilliant.” Sometimes, the regular working stiff or the average person gets wealth
from God that supersedes all of those genius people that are trying to obtain it through their own means. “Or favor to the learned.” Sometimes, people
study for years, get more degrees than Fahrenheit, get educated far beyond their intelligence so they can become an expert and somebody else just has
insight from God that supersedes what they even know. Guys like Bill Gates, who never even made it through college. God gave him insight. “But time
and chance”, and I would put that in quotes, “happen to them all.” Perspective is under the sun. Here on the earth, it just looks like you never know how
it’s gonna go.

Now, God knows how everything’s gonna go, but for us, we don’t know. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t know what the future
holds. We don’t when we’re gonna die. We don’t know how many days we have. We can work hard at our job. We don’t know what might happen.
We can love our spouse. We don’t know what might happen. We can read the Scriptures. We can serve the Lord. We can worship, and pray, and do all
the things we’re supposed to do, and there’s always hope and faith in that. Why? Because you never know. You say, “But, my marriage is tough.” Well,
you never know. Sometimes, the cancer becomes a crown. Sometimes, the foolish husband becomes redeemed. You never, never know. And that’s the
exciting thing about life with God. God has everything figured out, so we don’t need to be stressed. We can sleep good. But, he doesn’t tell us
everything. And life, then, still has lots of adventure and joy in it. And so, it’s the best of both worlds. We have all the freedom, joy, and excitement
without any of the anguish, worry, and concern. That’s how good God is.

“Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come.” We’re all gonna die. We don’t know when. “As fish are caught in a cruel net or birds taken in a
snare”, right? Fish are swimming along. In a net, it’s over. Birds are flying along, get caught. It’s over. “So men are trapped by evil times that fall
unexpectedly upon them.” What’s he saying? Hurry up. Hurry up. See, marriage is for men, not for boys. If you know you’re gonna die someday,
hurry up and be a man as quick as you can so that you could take upon yourself manly responsibilities. So then, you could marry a woman, and you can
love and enjoy her ‘cause the days are short. Time’s moving quick. Hustle up.

Alright, if you wanna serve the Lord, then hustle up. Read your Bible. Pray. Grow. Why? Because you’re gonna die. Hustle up. I love what Jesus says
in the New Testament. I’ll close with this. He says, “I have come to give you” what? “life – life that is full.” That’s what he says. You say, “What does it
mean to be a Christian?” Living a full life with Jesus. That’s what a Christian life is. A full life. Food. Drink. Work. Friends. Joy. Sorrow. Life. Death.
With Jesus. Okay? As we go through this, you’re gonna be convicted of sin. The good news is, there’s a way to deal with that. You and I have this
opportunity now before the living God. We’ve heard from him through the Scriptures. We now can respond to him through prayer. Scripture is how
God talks to us. Prayer is how we talk to the Lord. That’s how we have this conversation and this relationship with the living God.

Everything that you’re convicted of is sin and it’s folly, and it’s going toward death and judgment. It’s going the wrong way. What we do, then, is we
own those things. We name those things. We confess those things. We bring those to the Lord and we ask God for forgiveness. The good news is Jesus
has already taken care of that. He took all of his sin and folly. He went to the cross and it was placed upon him. He was punished in our place. He died
for our sins. He rose to conquer sin and death. We will die someday like him, but if love him, then we will also rise, as he rose. And we will live
forever, as he lives forever. Paul calls him the first fruits. He went first. Jesus forgives us of all of our sin. He then, also, empowers us so we can live a
different life. A redeemed life. Our sorrow is redeemed. It’s meaningful and purposeful. Our days are redeemed. They’re meaningful and purposeful.
Our sex is redeemed. It’s meaningful and purposeful. Our eating is redeemed. It’s meaningful and purposeful. Our drinking is redeemed. It’s
meaningful and purposeful. Our events are redeemed. They’re meaningful and purposeful. Our wardrobe is redeemed. It’s meaningful and purposeful.

And what God does, he infuses meaning into life. Through the meaning comes joy. And at the end, there’s Jesus. We live in meaning and joy with him
forever. And it begins here. That’s the good part. I’m gonna call you to respond, so I’m gonna call you to Jesus. And I’m gonna call you to bring your
whole life to Jesus so that it would be redeemed in him. You could take communion, which is remembering Jesus’ body and blood shed for your sin. If
and when you’re ready and you’ve dealt with God, repenting. Then, we’ll sing and celebrate and have joy ‘cause this is a formal event. We all get
together, what? To celebrate God. You can leave your offering. If you’re a visitor and not a Christian, don’t take communion and don’t give your
offering. Those are for God’s people and we don’t want to take your money if you’re not a Christian. If you’re a first time visitor, we don’t want your
money. Communion, as well, is for the Christians. And I know these are themes that we keep hitting over, and over, and over in Ecclesiastes. And,
basically, in some ways, this is a summary of the first eight chapters. But, the reason he keeps coming back to these themes is this. We forget. We
forget. We forget to live life with him. And so, he brings us back, and that’s what I’m doing with you now.

Father God, thank you so much for this simple and profound text. God, I thank you that you are King and Lord. That you rule over everything. That
you know our days. You know how many breaths we’re gonna take. As Jesus said, you know every hair on our head. You know everything. God, I
thank you that that takes away our anxiety and our worry, that we don’t need to be stressed. And we don’t need to be anxious. And we don’t need to be
sovereign and providential. We don’t need to be in control. I thank you as well, Lord God, that, though you are in complete control and you know
everything, that we don’t know everything. That our futures, from our perspective are absolutely open. That the slow guy could win the race. That the
weak guy could win the fight. That the foolish guy could win the promotion. God, that anything could happen because you are an amazing God of
grace.

God, thank you for giving us that freedom to throw ourselves headlong, passionately into our life. And thank you for calling us to a life of redemption
so that we can get dressed up and eat good, and drink good, and enjoy friends, and laugh deep, practicing for your kingdom. And, Lord Jesus, thank
you so much for making all of this possible by taking away our sin and also, by coming in human flesh, showing us, as our great God, what a perfect
human life looks like. Work and rest. Friends and solitude. Laughter and sorrow. Food, drink, and fasting. We love you, Lord Jesus, and we come to
you. Amen.

Copyright © 2008 Pastor Mark Driscoll http://marshill.com/media/ecclesiastes/cleaning-your-plate