Name : Nur Sarimah Okatviani Maha

NIM : 19/442333/KT/09031

Taks : Resume the Talkshow (Polygamy: The Benefits And Challenges Of Sharing A Spouse)

Resume :

In the talk show, the story of a bitter polygamy was conveyed. He married a twin sister. Mark
initially only married one of the twin brothers. Bell and Dorti are twin brothers who have been separated
for a long time. They finally met after separating from childhood. Mark finally decided to marry his wife's
twin because he thought he was his wife too. And finally they lead three lives together. They are used to
hearing people who disagree with their household. In the talkshow many people asked and commented
about their lives. They also explained that they lived happily in the current situation.

Contra Argument:
For women polygamy is clearly like an unexpected nightmare realized in the reality of the
household. Either for women who believe in steel. To further facilitate the extent to which I understand
polygamy, I will divide it into several points:

First: We have known together, that in any religion the goal of the household is to form a household full
of peace, compassion and tranquility. Islam termed it "Mawaddah, Sakinah, Wa Rahmah". Rassul Saww
once said that "Baiti Jannati". The hope is clear, namely that we realize the atmosphere of heaven in our
homes. The question: If so the purpose of marriage, whether by polygamy will be realized. In other
words, will polygamy bring peace, peace and full affection for one household? By answering this
question honestly, you will more easily know your position, whether the pros or cons ?.

Second: There is one verse that is often put forward to be the basis of polygamy arguments, namely Surah
An-Nisa: 3, "Marry the woman you like two, three or four". But the verse also contains conditions, which
is to be fair. So that while understanding is, please polygamy as long as it's fair. Enough to get there ?.
Certainly not!. Because an understanding certainly contains conflicting understandings. In the language of
mantiq is mafhum mukholafah. So that an understanding arises, polygamy is not permitted if it is not fair.
Well, you will say that you are able to be fair in polygamy. But, unfortunately, the fair criteria you use are
only limited to material. You have forgotten that there are non-material just criteria, namely justice in
matters of the heart. The question is: Can you be fair in non-material things? The Koran in the same
Surah, An-Nisa: 129 says, "And you will not be able to do justice to your wives from time to time." With
this verse, we can conclude that: Indeed, Islam refuses subtle polygamy in the household, but we are not
aware of it.

Third: Then if Islam refuses polygamy, why does the Prophet Saw polygamy? To answer this, we must
first understand several points, namely: a. Do we agree that polygamy is culture? That is, long before the
Prophet's teachings spread the teachings of Islam, the people - especially in Islam - had known polygamy.
Then Islam came by not blindly removing the culture, but accommodating it by giving certain restrictions.
If in the past the culture of polygamy had unlimited numbers, Islam limited it. If in the past the culture of
polygamy seemed haphazard, without rules, regardless of being fair or not, Islam limited it to the hook of
justice. b. Do you agree that Islam has universal values? That is, the values of Islamic teachings can
penetrate the boundaries of space and time. So it's possible, we find Islamic values even in parts of the
world where no Muslim is found. If we agree, then who has the right to be a model to pursue God's will
through Islamic teachings. In other words, who can translate universal values desired by God through
Islamic teachings? If you answer the Prophet, then the third question above is half answered. Because
God wants to teach us universal values in marriage. And because the Prophet Saww was able to be a
"translator" of God's will, clearly the Prophet Saww needed polygamy as a rule model in the household
that was God's will. Therefore there are scholars who divide the Sunnah of the Prophet Saww into two
parts, namely the general sunnah and special sunnah.

Fourth: But is polygamy the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) which is general and not specific? Alright I
follow your logic. If you say the Prophet's Sunnah is a common sunnah, then you must be consistent with
it. That is, do not you just follow the sunnah in the number of numbers, but also follow the others.
Because if we talk about the sunnah, then we are talking about the whole, and not a piece. In history, the
Prophet Saww was proven to be polygamous after his first wife, Khadijah's mother, passed away. That
one. Secondly, the Prophet Saww was proven to have never been polygamous with a woman who - sorry
- is still fresh, plump bin voluptuous. In fact, only A'ishah's mother was the wife he married in a state of
forgiveness, the rest did not. So it seems you have understood my purpose.

Fifth: But I - a woman - allowed my husband to polygamy, because I wanted to reach heaven. To answer
it, I will divide to two points, namely:
a. I respect the decision of women who want polygamy. And I would not be like a child screaming about
human rights. Because by denying or forbidding the woman, in fact I too had violated the human rights of
the woman who wanted to be polygamous. But, isn't prohibiting a man from polygamy is also an act of
violating human rights? To answer this one, I leave it to the conscience of his wife. If his wife does not
agree and the husband continues to carry out polygamy, then in fact the husband-in fact has violated a
wife's human rights. So my message is for men who want to practice polygamy, be kind to their wives, so
that you will be allowed to practice polygamy (kidding, bro).

b. We have explained above that religion actually contains universal values, and patience is one of them.
The Prophet said, in fact, what is demanded from a wife is not whether or not polygamy is a standard for
the inhabitants of heaven, but rather patience in marriage. Even if the wife is polygamy a thousand times,
but if it plunges into the sin of the heart, will it guarantee to become a denizen of heaven? sixth: But
polygamy is the best solution than cheating or adultery ?. Yes, polygamy is one solution, but it is not the
only solution. The Prophet Saww had an effective way to reduce our wild lust as a human being. When he
was asked by a friend who was not able to get married, the Prophet said: "fast". The Prophet actually did
not tell us to fast, even though the textual was so, but rather the value contained by fasting itself. Does not
fasting teach us to be human beings who are patient, accept what we are (qanaah) and at the same time
able to withstand animal lust? So, is it true that polygamy is a solution if there are other options available?
Conscience answered it. Then if we look at the verses in the An-Nisa Letter as a whole, we will find that
Islam actually allows polygamy as a solution for orphans. Because in the second to third verses in the An-
Nisa Letter, orphans are the topic of conversation. So you already know that polygamy is a solution for
various social inequalities and not a solution as an outlet for lust. I personally will never prohibit
polygamy, have a negative view of polygamists.

Positive Impact
a. Pressing the increase in the number of female births. The reality in society shows the number of births
is increasing and the emphasis is on women more than men as happened in Eastern Europe, the number of
women after the war increased sharply from before the war, then it is true what said Rasullah SAW "that
one of the signs of Judgment is the increase of women so that every man gets fifty-five women".
Then how do we solve problems that must occur in these different forms? Is it enough to shrug it off?
is it letting them solve themselves? the problem will not be solved by shrugging, nor will leaving the
community to resolve the problem based on the agreement they made.

b. Prevents the number of widowed women.

Along with the problem of increasing women caused by war, plague or catastrophe, the number of
unmarried women is also increasing, causing a decline in children, if this condition is still not permitted,
there will be a lot of prostitution in the community, and there will be betrayal of the husband against his
wife who is found a lot, and many births of children out of wedlock.
c. Infertility wife. What if the husband has a barren wife, even though he wants to have children and does
not have a way out, while love for children is a human nature. Because of that we have three alternatives,
1) Staying with his infertile wife and forbidding him to remarry, this act is a tyrannical for the husband,
where he is required to live without children, in this case there is no mediator of syariah law '.

2) Divorce the first wife so that she can remarry with another woman to have children, and this is a
violation of the rights of a barren woman where she is pressured to separate from her husband without
getting the opportunity to complain. stay together together or divorce, if he can remarry, he will
experience the same thing, if it is known that he is barren.

3) Maintain a relationship with a barren wife who enjoys all of her rights as a wife and allows her to
marry another woman who gets her desires as a human being as a person Allah said,
“To be made beautiful in humans, love for anything they want, which is: "women, children, wealth of
many kinds of gold, silver, selected horses, livestock, rice fields and fields, that is the pleasure of life in
the world. , and by Allah is a good place to return.”

Negative impact
a. A fight arises over his wife, jealousy and enmity. This is part of the difficulties of living in polygamy,
making the husband's heart always restless, and his family's life becomes bitter, gloomy, and unhealthy.
This atmosphere is part of the fire that is not usually extinguished except by understanding the wisdom of
a marriage, it's useless to get along well unless the person has the morals of the prophets, think in the style
of philosophers and wise men.

b. There were quarrels and quarrels between children which resulted in broken families. In fact, the great
and ultimate responsibility in this matter lies with the husband. He is the one who has a role in managing
his family life and happiness.

c. The tendency to love a second wife more than the first, and a husband cannot be fair in matters of
affection, then his wife's heart lives in misery or misery because it is caused by someone who tries to love
her in her husband's love, where he lives, food and drink.