7/3/2019 So, I slept with my professor | The Daily Californian

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SEX ON TUESDAY TUESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2014

So, I slept with my professor

Sex on Tuesday View PDF (Free)
BY BONI MATA | SENIOR STAFF LAST UPDATED APRIL 16, 2015 DocsPDFConverter

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“So you’re telling me this happens a lot here?”

“Oh, yes. I had a maths professor at the Sorbonne who

would pick the brightest girl every term to be his pet. They
OPEN
all knew this. They would sit in the front of class and ask for
attention. Of course, all would be jealous of the girl who was
ultimately chosen.”

“Isn’t that a little fucked up?”

“It is very common here in France.” The Daily Californian

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As disturbed as I was, the image of this phenomenon
incepted itself into my mind in the most insidious way. I’d
Be the first of your friends to like this
heard of girls in high school fucking older men and bragging
about it. I’d done my fair share of flirting with science
teachers in middle school when I first uncovered my
sexuality but still found teenage boys nasty. I’d had enough 0 Tweet MOST POPULAR MOST RECENT
73
schoolgirl fantasies during second period to make a feature-length Like
Comment SEX ON TUESDAY
porno. Same thing in college: didn’t hear a word my professor said
in my Shakespeare seminar, drooled through English classes Party for one
without learning a thing. I wanted to fuck my sociology GSI with every fiber in my nether regions. I
knew I was — how do you say — a “sapiosexual” from an early age, but the power-play of a student-
teacher relationship became particularly appealing to me as well.

A re you a sub?” CAMPUS

Former professor John
Searle loses emeritus status

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7/3/2019 So, I slept with my professor | The Daily Californian

“I’m like a sub-sub-dom, I guess.” over violation of sexual

harassment, retaliation
“Hot.” policies

I n her seminal essay, “Feminist Accused of Sexual Harassment,” prominent professor and
feminist Jane Gallop offers an explanation of the sexual harassment charges brought upon her by
two female students. She argues that current conduct codes existing in U.S. universities enforce a
CAMPUS, NEWS
UC Berkeley increases Cal 1
Card replacement fee to help
policy of silence and restriction that thwart all potentially meaningful sexuality between students
cover operational costs
and teachers. In attempting to justify her own sexual relationships with students, though, Gallop
ignores the ultimately protective function of such policies.
CITY
The inherent power dynamics involved with any master-apprentice relationship are such that some Berkeley raises minimum
erotic advances may only be accepted out of intimidation or fear of negative consequences to grades. wage to $15.59, citing
People can hardly handle sex with peers, let alone with authority figures, so this impediment to employment statistics after
“natural sexuality” is an obvious side effect of larger security measures against sexual harassment. In previous increase

many ways, Gallop embodies a characteristically French sexuality that is unfortunately and
MEN'S BASKETBALL
impossibly lost in translation in the United States.
Year in review: Cal men’s
Her notion of the eroticism of education, however, is a fascinating one and is an arguably universal basketball alumnus Ryan
phenomenon. While navigating positions of power and dom-sub dynamics can be tricky, a sexual Anderson faces uncertain
relationship between consenting adults can be incredibly fruitful when teaching and learning are future
also involved.
STOPPAGE TIME

W hen my professor walked in on the first day of class in all his statuesque glory, wearing a
half-buttoned Oxford shirt and chalk-covered slacks, I nearly dropped my pants on the
spot. “Love at first sight,” I claimed — I’m that type. Flash forward four months:
Boys, take notes: Why
women’s soccer is light-years
ahead

“Being with you is a gift,” he said as he stroked the hair that fell down my naked back. I lay on my
stomach as we both looked out onto the street at the unfortunate passers-by who weren’t lovers like
us. “You’re perfect.”

I knew it was in the cards for me when our knees touched during office hours. I asked him about
Hegel, he got up to close the door — not all the way, but ajar. “Go on.” He walked me home after our
second meeting. By the third, I was dreaming about him. I’d come to class far past Berkeley time,
visibly sulking, “Sorry.” He’d send emails, “I appreciate how your mind works.” I’d reply, “I need to
see you outside of class.” Never once did I feel sexual pressure on his part; every one of our intimate
encounters, I initiated.

I’d had one too many glasses of wine the night I fell into his lap. He drove me home, we kissed on my
sofa, went back to his later on. I never expected that a one-night stand with my professor would turn
into something so spectacular. “Our bodies were made for each other,” he’d tell me. We could talk
for hours and never sleep. We’d talk about love and death and literature, and it was beautiful. Our
secret bore so much wrong from the outside but was so perfect from our perspective.

Yes, he was in charge of my grades, but we both knew I’d have gotten an A regardless. What started
This Rule in Berkeley, California Leaves Drivers
out as a typical teacher fetish turned into one of the deeper relationships I’ve ever sustained with a
Confused
person. The age difference didn’t pose a problem for us beyond Twitter and Bruce Springsteen.
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found that the power dynamic I was initially attracted to quickly dissolved in favor of a deeper
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understanding of him; I grew attracted to other things, and we grew connected on a level beyond a
student-teacher relationship.

We could discuss the same topics as in class but without the nagging sexual tension that existed
previously. “Making love” allowed us to integrate the erotic and the didactic into a single force that
hit me like a ton of bricks. “I miss you,” I wrote him when I eventually left the country. It was
fleeting, but it might have been love.

Boni Mata writes the weekly Sex on Tuesday column. You can contact her at sex@dailycal.org or
follow her on Twitter: @yungEwaste.

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feminist, Feminist Accused of Sexual Harassment, france, GSI, Jane Gallop, professor, sapiosexual, Sex RAJNINGER

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