GT - Eng - Publish 14 May PDF

IELTS SAMPLE
ESSAYS
COLLECTION
with detailed corrections and comments
Volume 2 – GENERAL TRAINING

IELTS SAMPLE ESSAYS COLLECTION
IELTS Sample Essays Collection - Volume 2 General Training
Publisher: InterGreat Education Group

Publication date: 23/04/2019
ISBN: 978-1-78972-260-4
Author: Jamie Auld Smith (Compiled by Hanh Ha)
Email: hi@intergreat.com
Address: 29 Threadneedle Street, London
Website: intergreat.com
Please direct all enquiries to the Publisher.
VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

About This Book
Prepare for IELTS General Training with this comprehensive collection of 38

authentic questions and more than 100 sample answers, covering a full range of
common question types and topics for General Training Task 1 and Task 2.
Each sample answer includes detailed feedback, comments, and corrections from
experienced former examiners, giving you a clear insight into:
 the specific requirements for each Band score
 convincing ideas & structures for different types of letter and essay questions
 useful formal and informal language for letter writing
 a range of topic-based vocabulary
 common errors and corrections
With multiple example answers for each question, this is an excellent opportunity to
become familiar with IELTS Writing and improve your skills and confidence by
practicing with real-to-life test materials.

How to use this book

We highly recommend using this book to practice your IELTS Writing.
Choose a task to complete, and test yourself under timed conditions. Then, compare
your letter or essay to the sample answers.
Check the examiner’s comments, corrections and feedback, and note useful language
& vocabulary. This will help you to self-correct and improve your writing.
It’s important to practice under exam conditions, but you can also spend time
improving specific aspects of your writing.
For example, without any time limit:
 Read a Task 1 answer and highlight the purpose of the letter, mai n ideas,
and details
 Read a Task 1 answer and highlight any formal or informal language
 Choose a Task 1 question and brainstorm three main ideas & supporting
details
 Choose a Task 1 question and write an opening and closing in 1 – 2
sentences
 Read a Task 2 answer and make a mind-map of the main points &
examples
 Read a Task 2 answer and underline words with the same meaning
(important, significant, essential, vital etc)
 Read a Task 2 answer and underline all linking expressions e.g.: and,
therefore, First of all etc.
 Brainstorm main points & examples for a Task 2 essay
 Write an introduction & conclusion for a Task 2 essay
For additional practice and support, visit our website ieltsonlinetests.com, or get in
touch through our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ieltsonlinetests

Table of Contents
PART 1: TASK 1 SAMPLE
 Letters to Friends & Family
o Question 1 1
o Question 2 6
o Question 3 13
o Question 4 18
o Question 5 23
o Question 6 30
 Letters for Business & Study

o Question 1 35
o Question 2 42
o Question 3 48
o Question 4 54
o Question 5 61
o Question 6 68
 Letters of Complaint
o Question 1 75
o Question 2 81
o Question 3 86
o Question 4 92
 Letters to Social Clubs & Community Groups

o Question 1 98
o Question 2 103
o Question 3 108
PART 2: TASK 2 ESSAYS

 Agree and Disagree
o Question 1 113
o Question 2 119
o Question 3 124
o Question 4 130

o Question 5 137
o Question 6 143
o Question 7 149
 Problem and Solution

o Question 1 155
o Question 2 161
o Question 3 167
o Question 4 175
 Direct question
o Question 1 181
o Question 2 187
o Question 3 193
o Question 4 199
o Question 5 205
 Discuss both views

o Question 1 211
o Question 2 217
o Question 3 223

Part 1
TASK 1
SAMPLE WRITING

Letters to Friends & Family

---------- Question 1 ----------
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are
worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour.
Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter
● introduce yourself
● describe your plans for the party
● invite your neighbour to come
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ................. ,
You should write at least 150 words.
Example 1
Dear neighbour,
My name is Mohammed Abdelkadir and I have recently moved into the house Deleted: INto
adjacent to yours. Being your new neighbour, I would like to start my letter by
introducing myself. I’m 32 years old, married, and have one baby girl. Because of my
Arabian background, I have developed the habit of getting into social gatherings and
hanging out with friends. Comment [A1]: So far it’s an excelent
start.
To celebrate relocating to a new city, I would like to hold a party at my house 3 days Deleted: for
from now. To ensure that we won’t disturb you, we are informing you in advance.
Additionally, I’m going to install sound insulators around the house’s walls. For this
celebration, I have prepared a large variety of drinks and food. Plus, I have a nice Deleted: ceremony
music. Comment [A2]:

Deleted: set of musical recordings
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Furthermore, you are invited to attend the party along with your wife and kids. It
would be a pleasure for me to meet you. This would also be a chance for our children
to meet each other and hopefully become friends. Comment [A3]: Excellent finish. You
write well.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
Warm wishes,
M. Abdelkadir
(208 words)
Score: 6.0
Detail comments
(TA) Task Achievement
The candidate addresses all parts of the task although some may be more covered
than others
(CC) Coherence and Cohesion
The task is arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression.
(LR) Lexical Resource
An adequate range of vocabulary used for this task.
(GRA) Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences forms used with minimal errors.

Example 2
Dear Mr. Smith,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. We just moved in next door last month Deleted: ’ve
and we are planning to host our wedding next Saturday at our new home. I am Deleted: your
Deleted: since
nervous that our special event may certainly disturb your peaceful weekend so I am
Deleted: about
writing this letter in order to notify you about it.
Deleted: s
As mentioned above, our wedding ceremony will be held in our back yard from 5pm Deleted: at
to 10pm next Saturday. It would be fantastic if your family could probably spend your Deleted: 5p.m
Deleted: 10p.m
precious time at the most important event of our life. The party will certainly have a
live music band along with dancing. Besides this, we will also set up a small
playground section with a clown for your children to enjoy their time at the party.
Regarding the gastronomic options, there will be an international outdoor buffet that
is perfectly suitable for any type of guests. Deleted: s
I am looking forward to possibly seeing your family at the party of our lifetime. In case
there are any further requests, please kindly let us know in advance. Thank you for
your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
(196 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of main trends,
differences or stages. Has good tone and all bullet points covered. Clearly presents
and highlights key features but could be more fully extended.
Logically organises information and ideas. There is clear progression throughout.

Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under

use.
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. Attempts to use less common
vocabulary but with some inaccuracy. Makes some errors in spelling and or word
formation, but they do not impede communication.
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Makes some errors in grammar
and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication.
Example 3
Dear neighbour,
My name is Ruben and I have recently moved into apartment 2f. Unfortunately, I
haven’t had the time yet to drop by and introduce myself to you, so pardon this rather
impersonal introduction. Because I moved into a new apartment, I would like to throw
a housewarming party for my friends. I plan to do so this Saturday.
The party will start at around 9 p.m. and is expected to end at 1 a.m. With roughly 50
invitations sent, I am anticipating on at least 35 people to join me that night. The
party itself will be more of an informal get together with some ambient music. Deleted: ,
However, given the number of guests, I do expect some noise. My apologies in

advance if this causes any inconvenience to you.
As I believe it is important to have good relations with the people around you, I would Deleted: a
like to get to know you better. I would therefore love for you to make an appearance
that night, so feel free to walk in any time that suits you. Also, if you would like to
bring a plus one, you are more than welcome to do so.
Kind regards,
Ruben (201 words)
Score: 8.0

Detail comments
Covers all requirements of the task sufficiently and presents, highlights and
illustrates key features/bullet points clearly and appropriately.
Manages all aspects of cohesion well and uses paragraphs appropriately.
The candidate uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical
items.
Uses a variety of complex structures with frequent error free sentences.

---------- Question 2 ----------
Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from
your house/ flat.
Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter
 explain the reasons for the noise

 apologise
 describe what action you will take
Example 1
Dear neighbours,
This is Vivek Shah who is residing in your wing, in flat number 101. This is an Deleted: v
apologetic letter against a response to a former complaint received regarding the Deleted: s
unpleasant noise coming from our apartment.
There were frequent oral complaints by you all and today I received a written
warning regarding it. I am a professional musician and me along with my other
colleagues frequently practice for various events at home especially during the
evenings. It is often that the practice lasts beyond midnight when the surrounding is
calm, the noise is easily audible to nearby houses. Deleted: and
It is my earnest and kindest request for you to accept my apology for this act and I
sincerely apologize for not considering the disturbing effect it might create. I will
assure you all that I will take certain steps to minimize its impact. It is possible to
reduce the sound to an acceptable decibel which would not significantly impact our Deleted: my
neighbourhood. Moreover, I will restrict my practice sessions to midnight and make Deleted: till
sure it would not extend beyond this time limit.
It is my sincere request for you to accept my apology and give me a chance to

improve my carelessness.
Yours sincerely,

V. Shah (197 words) Deleted: s
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Covers the requirements of the task.
Presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate.
Clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully
extended.
Arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression.
Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences
may be faulty or mechanical.
May not always use referencing clearly or appropriately.
Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
May produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation.
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce
communication.

Example 2
Dear Neighbors,
I hope you are doing well! I am writing this to explain that the unusual noise coming
from our house is due to the graduation party of our children as they recently
graduated from university of Sydney in Media Management and mass Deleted: got
communications.
Let me explain in more detail. Our children went quite overboard in celebrating their
success and it was a total mess causing an inconvenience to the neighborhood. I, as
the father take total responsibility for their actions and would like to offer an Deleted: a
unconditional apology.
When the party was happening we were out of town attending a charity function, As
soon as we reached home we realized what was happening! We swiftly brought
things under control by ending the party and got rid of all the guests. We will make Deleted: let go
sure that these kind of activities from our children will not be repeated in the future
and you will have my word regarding that.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours Sincerely
A. Kota. (167 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
differences or stages. Clearly presents and highlights key features but could be
more fully extended.


use.
Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. The
candidate uses some less common lexical items with some awareness of style and
collocation. There may be some occasional errors in word choice or spelling.
Uses a variety of complex structures. Produces frequent error-free sentences.

Candidate has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few
errors.
Example 3
Dear neighbours,
I have read carefully your recent letter addressed to me regarding noise concerns
coming from my house. In response, I would like to take the opportunity to explain
the reasons behind this.
For the last two years, I have been living alone in my house which has enabled me to
live quietly. However, just a few days ago my younger sister moved out from her
house in an unfortunate divorce case. Having nowhere to go immediately, I found Deleted: stay
myself giving her and her two children, aged 3 and 5, a room to stay while she Deleted: fond
concludes her divorce procedure and finds a new house to live in. The noise you
have experienced has been from my two nieces who have been playing loudly. For
this I apologize for the inconveniences caused so far.
I have spoken to my sister and we will both take the necessary precautions to limit
the children´s playtime and noise levels. We have also bought two carpets which will
be placed in their room on top of the wooden floor to reduce noise when they move Deleted: which will also help

around. If however, despite these actions taken, you still consider the noise level to
be too loud, please do not hesitate to call me on my cell phone (0445537316185) at
any time and I will be happy to address the issue.
Thank you for your understanding.
With best regards,
J. White
(237 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
Covers all requirements of the task sufficiently.
Presents, highlights and illustrates key features/bullet points clearly and

appropriately.
Logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout.
Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-
use.
Uses a wide range of structures.
VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com - 10 -

The majority of sentences are error-free
Makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.
Example 4
Dear neighbors,
I am writing to you in response to your recent note regarding the inconvenience you
experienced last Thursday due to the noise coming from our apartment. As you may Deleted: appartment
have noticed, I started a major renovation of my apartment interior last week. The Deleted: appartment’s
sounds you unfortunately heard, were coming from my contractor removing the old
tiling in my bathroom. In addition, the carpenter started on the wooden floor and had
to use his electrical saw to cut the pieces.
I sincerely apologize for any discomfort that the remodelling has brought to you. I too
highly appreciate some quiet time, especially within the comfort of my own home.
Having lived in an apartment close to a construction site, I know from experience how Deleted: appartment
stressful continuous noise can be. Deleted: contruction
Although I cannot guarantee complete silence, I have spoken with my contractors to

avoid future inconvenience as much as possible. From now on, they will limit the use
of mechanical tools to the bare minimum. If truly necessary, usage is only allowed
between 10 and 14 on business days.
Kind regards,
Ruben
(181 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

Covers all requirements of the task sufficiently. Presents, highlights and illustrates
key features points clearly and appropriately
Sequences information and ideas logically. Manages all aspects of cohesion well.
Uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately.
Uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings.
Skilfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in
word choice and collocation. Produces rare errors in spelling and word formation
Uses a wide range of structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. Makes
only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

---------- Question 3 ----------
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job
while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter

 give details of your study plans
 explain why you want to get a part-time job
 suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Joe,
How are you? I am writing this letter to inform you, that I have got selected for Deleted: in
Centennial College, Toronto for a master’s in digital marketing. I will be moving to

Canada by the end of February as my term starts from the third week of March. The
master’s program is for two years and I would like to work in the marketing field. Deleted: if
Deleted: post
I will be living on my own in Toronto and to manage my personal expenses I have Deleted: that
decided that I will be doing a part time job. My parents are taking care of most of my Deleted: some
education expenses and I do not want to bother them more. Hence, it would be great
if you can help me in getting a part time job in Toronto.
My college classes will be mostly in the mornings, so I will be available to work from Deleted: for job
the late afternoon. I have checked a couple of job listing websites but as I am new to
the country, I am not able to understand which job would be suitable for me. Since Deleted: ,
you are from the same city, I thought you would be able to guide me. I am fine with Deleted: will
any kind of admin related jobs in any office or store, as I believe I am good with
paperwork. I hope you will understand my concern and will give your suggestion.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Take care.
Bye.
A. Das. (240 words)
Score: 6.0

Detail comments
Covers the requirements of the task. Presents a clear purpose, with the tone
consistent and appropriate. Clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet
points but could be more fully extended.
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task.
Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy.
Makes some errors in word formation, but they do not impede communication.
communication.
Example 2
Dear Nick,
Hope you are happy and healthy while reading this letter.
I would like to inform you I am coming to Auckland for my diploma in 3D animation.

My courses will start the first week of March. Lessons will be at the University of
Technology in Grey Lynn and I will have to attend to a minimum of twenty hours per Deleted: ,

week. I am very excited by my new path, but also a bit concerned about my financial Deleted: of
situation.
I will have to find a part time job, hopefully in the entertainment industry. It must be Deleted: work
part time, or during the weekends, as I want to attend all the classes.
I remember you used to work as a lighting director for the small theatre in the north
shores of Auckland, and I was wondering if you could put me in contact with some of
the technicians or managers who work there.
Thanks in advance for your help.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Warm regards,
Pier
(165 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
extended.

Uses a variety of complex structures.
Produces frequent error-free sentences.
Has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors.
Example 3
Dear Sarah,
How are you? I hope that you are doing great and everything is going well for you. I
am writing to you today to let you know that I am planning on taking a summer
course in computer skills. The good news is that this course will be held in Chicago. It
means that We will have the chance to meet and catch up.
This program will start on 27th of May. 2019. And will end on the 27th of July. 2019. It Deleted: in
is in the form of a series of lectures. However, this course will be from Monday to
Friday from 8:00 am to 12:00 pm and this means that I will have a few extra hours
everyday along with the weekend.
I am planning on applying for a part time job during my free time. It will help with
covering the travel expenses and perhaps saving some extra cash. I know that you
have been working in Chicago for ten years now and since we both have the same
educational background you can help me out with finding the right job. Maybe you
can advise me about the right place to go in order to get a job in our field or you can
refer me to one of your previous jobs.
I am looking forward to seeing you this summer.

Warm wishes,
Tamim
(225 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
key features points clearly and appropriately.

---------- Question 4 ----------
You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn
about a major news item in your country.
Write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter
• describe a news story in your country

• explain why people are interested in it
• say how the story personally relates to you
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear …,
Example 1
Dear Friend,
I want to share with you about the news in Indonesia. Basically, Indonesians are
interested in various different types of news. The popular ones will be the breaking Deleted: in
news, celebrity gossip and news surrounding politics and sports.
At this moment, the most popular story in my country is about the earthquake that
has just occured in Sulawesi Island. The 7.7 richter scale earthquake took more than
one thousand five hundred lives and destroyed more than one thousand houses and
hundreds of public facilities.
Due to the level of severity of this earthquake, people are curious to be updated.
People want to understand if they might lose some of their friends or relatives and
moreover, they also want to contribute help in the form of financial donations. Some Deleted: s
of them even become volunteers by flying directly to the location and provide moral Deleted: ing
support to the unfortunate ones.
This catastrophic event definitely saddens me. I have grown up in supportive family
where both of my parents provided me with moral guidance and financial support

throughout my childhood and therefore, I feel sorry for the children who lost their
parents, and I cannot imagine how hard it is for those children to carry their future. Comment [A4]: Excellent letter!
(197 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

use.
Example 2
Dear Katy,
Hope you are doing well! I have been having a good day. I know I have been busy
with a new project, so I could not write to you as often as I used to do. I did read your Deleted: a

letter about the posts that were trending on Facebook regarding the new law passed
by the Indian constitution on the punishments that need to be given to culprits
involved in crimes against women.
Abuse on females has been a serious issue and the society has always been
judgmental about women who complain about it. Recently, there was a very brutal
attack on a woman in Delhi which shook the entire nation. Human welfare
organizations took to the streets and protested against the attack and urged the
government to take severe action.
Posts on Facebook, twitter and Instagram by students across the country with
#Nirbhaya were acknowledged by many welfare organizations around the world and
they joined the protests too. The Indian constitution passed a law which states that
the death penalty needs to be issued for the culprits involved in such crimes. I am Deleted: to
glad this has finally happened. I have been a victim myself to such abuse especially
while I used to take the bus to school. There are many women who go through this
but remain quiet. This has enabled the women in the country to walk with courage. I Deleted: given the fair sex
am glad I could shed some light on the issue.
I wish I could write more but I do not want to disturb you with more details. I will be
eagerly waiting to hear from you about your recent assignment.
Best wishes, Deleted: W
Meena
(276 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Presents a clear purpose with consistent tone, Covers all requirements of the task.

Arranges information and ideas coherently, but there is a lack of cohesive devices
which makes the text sometimes mechanical.
Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
Uses a variety of complex structures with mostly error free sentences.
Example 3
Dear friend,
It’s great to hear from you after such a long time!
I’m glad that you are following important news topics in my country. I understand the
curiosity around the air pollution in New Delhi given the kind of news that is Deleted: curiousity
circulating on various news channels. Sadly, the news is true that the air quality index Deleted: in
stays between very poor and a hazardous level most of the time.. Deleted: s
People across the globe are getting increasingly worried about the wellbeing of the
population staying in this area. With ever increasing cases of respiratory diseases like
asthma and many others, the problems are growing.
Since, I’m residing in the city as well, I also get directly affected by the issue. The
impact is already visible in the elders of my family who feel difficulties in breathing.
But I hope that the situation will change soon. We’ll talk more about it in case you’d
like to know any specific details about it.
Stay in touch.
H. Grupta
(164 words)

Score: 8.0
Detail comments
word choice and collocation. Produces rare errors in spelling and word formation.
only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.

---------- Question 5 ----------
You share a parking area with several neighbours and have recently started having
problems.
Write a letter to be copied to all neighbours that share the parking area. In that letter
• explaining the problems

• suggesting ways to help the situation
• proposing a possible meeting
Dear Neighbours,
Example 1
Dear neighbours,
I am writing to you all to express my concern with the use of the parking zone and
the issues which have risen in the past couple of weeks with the complex new
residents from apartment 205. As we all have realized, if we do not make a conscious
effort to abide to the rules and conditions set in place, we are going to encounter
conflicts and delays affecting our peace of mind. There have been multiple times
where the red truck from the aforementioned apartment has blocked the way out of
the complex or instances where the car has occupied more than one parking space.
I want to come forward and propose possible solutions for this inconvenience. Let’s Deleted: inconvient
consider for a moment they may not be familiar with the complex rules for parking. Deleted: are
The administration ought to inform them about the norms set in place about this Deleted: familiarized
area. Moreover, if we sense there is negligence in their actions, we can issue a group
petition to the local authorities to escalate the situation. However, I sense the first
step we ought to make is to have an open dialogue with them to express our
concerns and to hear from them the reasons behind their inconsiderate actions.

Would you mind meeting next Sunday after lunch? I could invite them to a gathering Deleted: offer to
which would be at my place. I would like if the majority of us could come together Deleted: and the
about an issue affecting us and demonstrate we are a united community. Deleted: demostrate
Deleted: n
Let me hear from you about my proposal at your earliest convenience,
Yours sincerely,
Cristhian O.
(267 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

appropriately.
use.

Example 2
Dear Neighbours,
I am writing to bring to your notice the difficulties I am facing to find a parking space
for my car. I am currently residing in Plot 104 of our Truehome apartment and was
advised to share space with other residents of the building. The agreement presented
to me states that no specific spot is allocated to each occupier of the premises but a
general agreement stating one parking space for each flat has been designed and
agreed upon.
But, from the last 3 weeks I have notices that the number of cars held by the Comment [A5]: However
Comment [A6]: over
residents is more than the space available since some of them have more than one
Comment [A7]: noticed - typo?
car. This forces me to leave my car outside in terrible weather conditions. Due to Comment [A8]: This should be a
which, my vehicle is always dirty, requiring cleaning and my head lights are getting continuation of the previous sentence
because of 'which'. You can start a
foggy due to rain water entering them. new sentence with 'due to this'
I suggest that it would be very helpful if we allocate number to the parking lot for Comment [A9]: a number
each flat and charge maintenance or security fees. The money collected can be used
for general maintenance and for further development of the premises. This procedure
can ensure that at least one car of the each and evry resident is secured. Comment [A10]: of each and every
I propose to the management to held a general meeting discussing the above matter
and enable all the residents to make some suggestion.
Thanking you.
Your’s faithfully Comment [A11]: Yours
Teja
(235 words)
Score: 7.5

Detail comments
The purpose of the letter is clear and the tone is correct. Letter conventions are
followed correctly. All the bullet points are covered and are fully developed.
The answer is clearly organised and flows well. A range of cohesive devices is used.
Avoid starting a sentence with ‘but’. Generally speaking, ‘which’ or a phrase with
‘which’ will continue the previous sentence but ‘this’ or a phrase with ‘this’ will start
a new sentence.
A wide range of vocabulary is used with evidence of style, flexibility and collocation.
Less common vocabulary is used throughout the answer. Be careful with the
spelling of ‘every’
A range of complex sentences is used throughout, accurately and appropriately.

Many of the sentences are error-free. There are some mistakes with articles but
these do not affect communication.
Example 3
Dear neighbours,
The intention of this letter is to bring to the attention of all those who share the
parking area some issues we’ve been facing recently.
From the bylaws stated on our Community Agreement, only residents of the area are
allowed to utilize the parking spaces. What has been noticed is that most recurrently Comment [A12]: recurrently (without
'most')
cars without a Parking Permit to this zone are encountered blocking their rightful

owners parking space. This can be easily solved if all of us agree that only cars with a
Permit will be allowed parking, otherwise incurring in fines. Comment [A13]: to park
Comment [A14]: fines will be incurred
On another note, last night was the third occurrence of a white Prius, with no special
permit, parking on the reserved space for disabled people. This is unacceptable. The
owner of the car was informed and if this issue happens again, I will notify the
authorities.
To further discuss these matters, and other that might arise, I would like to propose a
meeting next Friday at 7:30pm at my place. Please RSVP directly to me if you can
make it. It’s of the most relevance that all available residents attend, so we can agree Comment [A15]: utmost
Comment [A16]: importance
on ways to make everyone’s life a bit easier when living in our community.
I appreciate the attention.
Regards,
Matt
(209 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
The purpose of the letter is clear and the tone is correct. All the bullet points are
covered and fully developed and letter conventions are followed.
The answer flows very smoothly and is very easy to read. Good use is made of
paragraphs and cohesive devices. The flow of the letter is very natural
A wide range of formal vocabulary is used which is appropriate to the task. There is

clear evidence of collocation, less common expressions and style. There are minimal
errors
A wide range of structures is used with a high level of accuracy. The majority of
sentences are error-free. There are a few persistent mistakes.
Example 4
Dear Neighbours,
My Name is John Adams and I live in apartment 3B. I moved to this building about
two years ago and fortunately, until now, did not have any issues regarding the use
of the parking area.
Sadly, yesterday morning when I was leaving to go to work I noticed a small dent on
my car´s front bumper. I asked the doorman if anyone had reported hitting my car by
accident and he answered that no one mentioned anything to him, he informed me
that something similar happened last week to the vehicle of a lady from apartment
4A.
Talking to a few neighbours that were in the lobby, I heard a couple of histories Deleted: at
concerning scratches in cars and vehicles parked inappropriately or in another

apartment’s parking space.
I would like therefore to request a meeting, sometime next week, to discuss these
problems.
I had already faced similar situations in my previous building, and over there
conditions improved a lot after installing a CCTV system in the garage, and with the
application of fines to those who did not respect the apartment´s parking spot.
I believe that together we can assess the best solutions and it would benefit
everyone.
Please inform the doorman of your interest in attending the meeting, as well as for a
date and time of preference. Or, if your prefer, feel free to call me on the intercom. Deleted: me

Sincerely,
J. Adams
(237 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

---------- Question 6 ----------
You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives.
Write a letter to your relative. In your letter:
• Explain when and how long you will be in town.

• Ask whether you can stay at their home.
• Offer to pay for yourself.
You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ...,
Example 1
Dear Tola,
How are you and your family? Fine, I hope. I am writing this letter to inform you that I
will be visiting Kaduna city on the 6th May, and I plan to stay for three weeks. Deleted: of
I got some time off work and decided to take a short vacation in another city for a
change of environment and some sightseeing. I realised it will be interesting to visit a Deleted: sight-seeing
place where I know someone, who is familiar with the city hence, why I chose
Kaduna.
I also want to enquire if it is okay for me to stay over at your house during this period
as I would not want to intrude or be a liability. Although, I will be taking full
responsibility for myself financially.
I would be glad if I could stay as it would make my visit more enjoyable and enable
me to spend more time with you. I look forward to seeing you soon irrespective of
your response!
Take care of yourself and I miss you.
Warm regards,

Z.
(176 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

extended.


Example 2
Dear Uncle Sam,
I hope you are doing well. I am doing great here.

Actually, I am planning a short trip to Arusha for my college assignment. I will

probably come there on 24th April and stay there for a week. During my stay, I am
going to visit the nearby national parks to observe wildlife very closely to make a
documentary on it as part of my project.
I just wanted to ask your permission if you could allow me to stay at your place. As I Deleted: take
don’t know anyone there, it would be easy for me to stay with you. This will also Deleted: ill
ensure safety to my parents as they are really worried to let me go on my own. Deleted: of
But, uncle, it would be great if you would take accommodation and food charges
from me for my stay at your home. It would be also convenient for me to do so. I hope
you understand.
Please let me know if this arrangement is possible. See you soon.
Regards,
Snehal
(171 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

Example 3
Dear Sarah,
How are you and your family? It feels like forever since we last got together. I am
writing to share some wonderful news with you. Finally, I will be visiting Tripoli this
summer.
I am planning on taking a Psychology course at the University of Tripoli. The course Deleted: in
begins on the 6th of May and ends on the 29th of July. So, I will be in town during
May, June and until the end of July.
Since you live near the University I was wondering if I can stay with you? It will be a
great opportunity for us to catch up and spend some quality time like we used to do.
Also, I would like to pay for the accommodation and my share of living expenses such
as grocery, water electricity pills. I know that you would not probably take the money,
but I insist, and I will not take no as an answer.
Please let me know if it works for you as soon as possible. My mobile number hasn’t
changed.
Warm wishes
T.
(175 words)
Score: 8.0

Detail comments
Fully satisfies all the requirements of the task.
Sequences information in such a way that it attracts no attention. Skillfully manages

paragraphing.
Uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meaning.
Skillfully uses less common lexical items with awareness of style and collocation.
Uses a wide range of structures accurately, some minor errors occur with articles,
prepositions and choice of verb tense.

Letters for Business & Study

---------- Question 1 ----------
You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course.
You now find that you cannot continue the course.
Write a letter to your teachers. In your letter
• describe the situation

• explain why you cannot continue at this time
• say what action you would like to take
Dear ................. ,
Example 1
Dear Mr. Smith
I hope my letter finds you in good health. I am writing to notify you that I have to drop Deleted: H
out of our part-time marketing class on Tuesday nights due to work relocation.
I have just been notified about one of my colleagues at our city branch who has
broken his leg in a car accident yesterday. As a result, I was immediately appointed
as his substitution for the next three months, starting tomorrow, so I cannot continue
pursuing our course due to the travel distance. Deleted: subject
I have discussed with the manager regarding this course; however, priority must be Deleted: our
given to my full-time career. I am really sorry to quit but it would be wonderful if you Deleted: about
Deleted: the
were able to fill me into your Saturday afternoon class till the end. I’d rather travel
Deleted: ling
two hours back here to study than wasting a day off in the city because of my work

obligations. I am looking forward to potentially receiving your good news. Thank you
for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
(161 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

use.

Example 2
Dear Professor Grant,
I am writing to inform you that I will not be able to continue to take your course. As
you may be aware from our previous conversations, I work full time, 5 days a week,
and this was one of the main factors behind why I took your evening course as
opposed to the morning course on offer.
Recently, there has been a change in our department structure at the office which
has caused a rather large amount of work to now be processed by my team and I.
Due to this, I frequently find myself working well past 7pm, which also happens to be
the start of your class. Given the current workload, it has become unfeasible for me to Deleted: starting
continue pursuing both a full time job, and with your course. I must, therefore, drop Deleted: continuing
out of your class.
I would like you to know that I very much enjoy your class and lectures, and have
every intention of coming back and completing it. This, however, will need to be at a
point when the current workload at the office becomes more manageable, which I am
hoping happens sometime within the next 6 months. Until that point, it is with deep
regret that I must withdraw from your class.
Yours sincerely,
A. D’Souza
(218 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

extended.
use.
Example 3
Dear Sir,
I am writing to let you know that I will not be able to continue the part time CFA Level
1 preparation course (A02) in the evening. As discussed with you while joining the
course, I am doing a full time job at Fidelity Investments and of late the volume of Deleted: f
work has increased. For this reason,I cannot pursue the course. Deleted: due to which
Let me explain my situation in order for you to have a better insight into my condition.
There are a lot of IPO’s being announced and due to this the quantum?? amount of Comment [A17]: Volume?
work, my job has increased nearly threefold. This has severely affected my working Deleted: in
times which thus leaves me no room to attend the evening classes.

Deleted: Although I would have i

Ideally, I’d have liked to have continued with the CFA preparation as I need to take Deleted: liked to
exams next May, but I am unable to due to the demands at work. Deleted: continue at this time
Would you kindly cancel my registration for the evening course and let me know if
the fees can be transferred to the online course or the weekend course.
Thank you for your consideration. I would be awaiting your reply on the above
request.
Yours faithfully,
A. Tripathy
(204 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Covers all the requirements of the task. Presents and highlight a good argument
and answers all the bullet points.
Logically organises the information and there is clear progression throughout the
response. A range of cohesive devices used well.
Sufficient range of vocabulary and well applied to the task. Produces occasional
errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
uses a variety of complex structures produces frequent error-free sentences has

good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few error.

Example 4
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to inform that I will not be able to continue my Psychology Deleted: would
courses at the University of the Fraser Valley anymore. Earlier, I had sufficient time to Deleted: ,
devote towards my study, but recently I have started doing a part-time job besides a Deleted: a
full-time job. Therefore, I am hardly left with any time to put towards my study.
Let me explain the situation in more detail. As I have recently purchased a 3-bedroom
townhouse near the city centre of Abbotsford, at the moment I am struggling Deleted: so
financially; therefore, I have started one more job. Furthermore, my wife is on a Deleted: had
maternity leave, and I have to look after her as we are expecting our baby anytime Deleted: ,
this month. Hopefully, I would be able to continue my study again in the winter-fall
when my wife is back to work again.
Therefore, I would like to have 75% refund of my tuition fees (mentioned in the
course outline) as I am withdrawing from the course in the second week of the
semester. I have attached a copy my student ID along with the name of the courses I
have taken.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely.
J. Brown
(207 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments

Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately.

errors.

---------- Question 2 ----------
You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country.
Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed
information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.
You do NOT need to write any address.
Example 1
Dear Mr. Carnegie,
I am writing to express my interest in registering for the seminar on finance for non-
profit organisations that will be held in the United States. Deleted: not-for-profit entities
I was recently promoted to Finance Manager of an association that looks after the
well-being of local government professionals. Given this new promotion, I think that
the seminar you have organised is very timely and that it will assist me in performing
my new and more complicated tasks better.
I noticed that your advertisement in your website did not mention when the seminar
will run and how much it will cost. I also did not find any information regarding the
program and nearby hotels that can be booked for an overnight stay. Will you kindly
send me an email wh this information? Deleted: it
Deleted: these
I am really excited with the opportunity to attend this seminar and I look forward to
hearing back from you as soon as possible, so I can arrange the booking of my flights.
Thank you for your time in reading my letter.
Sincerely,
F. Santos
(174 words)

Score: 6.0
Detail comments
There is a slight inconsistency in tone which holds this to band 6. However, all the
requirements of the task are covered.
Cohesive devices are lacking, so the letter does not flow as well as it could.
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary, but when attempting a higher level there
may be errors.
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences well; however, there is not a variety of
complex sentences.
Example 2
Dear Sir,
I am interested in attending a seminar that is being organized by you on

“Neurodevelopmental theories “in Canada, as I think it will help me improve my
clinical skills at work.
In order for me to have this seminar sponsored by my work place, I would like a few Deleted: get
more details about the content of this seminar and the topics that will be covered in Deleted: will
this workshop. It is my understanding, that this is meant to be a two day workshop,

which will be held on a weekend in July, 2018. I would appreciate it if you could give Deleted: ;
me the exact dates of the program. Deleted: will

Finally, I would like to give my office manager an exact budget for attending this Deleted: will
program before he approves it, hence, I wanted to inquire about the cost of this two-
day seminar and if lodging is being provided and included in the cost.
I hope to hear back from you soon.
Thanks!
S. B.
(162 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

use.

Example 3
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Tamim Nashad, a current teacher in Benghazi public school. I am writing

to express my interest in the teaching psychology seminar that you are currently
preparing for.
First, I live in Benghazi and I will be flying to Tunis to attend it. Therefore, I would like
to know the exact dates of the seminar in order to make the travel arrangements
such as requesting a vacation from work and booking the flight. Additionally, what is
the cost of this seminar? Is there any discount for public school teachers? Moreover,
what are the topics that you will cover in the seminar? And, if it is possible, I would Deleted: would
like to request a copy of the seminar agenda.
Finally, I understand that the seminar will be held in the Hilton hotel conference room,
and therefore I would to inquire about the accommodation and the possibility of
getting a fair rate in the Hilton.
I am looking forward to hearing from you. My mobile number as well as my email

address are provided in my business card enclosed with this letter.
Yours faithfully,
T. N.
(189 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

extended.
use.
Example 4
Dear Sir,
In Reference to the advertisement given in todayʼs newspaper, I am writing this letter
to express my interest to attend the seminar on “Artificial Intelligence” which will be
held in New Delhi, India.
However, I would request you to furnish me with some detailed information
regarding this seminar, as it will help me to plan accordingly.
The advertisement says that the seminar is to be held in the first week of November, Deleted: on
but can you kindly provide me with exact date as I have to arrange tickets for the
same times. Deleted: .
Also it will be really helpful, if you can provide me the details of the topics that are to
be discussed in the program.
In addition to this, please let me know if there are any accomodations arranged for
the out-stationed participants, if yes then please let me know the costs of the rooms

that are available.

I am looking forward for your reply !
Yours faithfully,
S. Roy
(159 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

---------- Question 3 ----------
You recently attended a conference and you would like to give a presentation
about the information you gained by attending the conference.
Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your
letter:
 describe what type of presentation you have in mind

 what topics it would cover and how long it would take
 who should participate in the presentation and where should it be
conducted
You do NOT need to write any address.
Example 1
Dear Hemant,
Thank you for nominating my name as a delegate in World Digital Summit,

Singapore. I would like to inform you that I attended the summit on 28th of February
2019, where delegates from 37 countries across the world had joined up to make the
event successful, and which was indeed an enriching experience for me. On the Deleted: ,
whole, the summit gave a broader perspective on the impact on digital

transformation in modern business.
Hence, to share the knowledge, with all our colleagues who are working in the digital
transformations team, I would like to make one brief presentation on “Impact of
Digital Transformation in Business”. In this presentation, I would like to cover the
topics such as, cost analysis on digital transformation projects, Impact of modern
applications on the previously used technologies & impact of digital transformation
on the job market. My presentation will take only 20 minutes followed by a Q&A
session.

I am planning to do the presentation on 6th of March 19 and request your presence Deleted: March’19
for the same period of time also to help facilitate if it is convenient. Deleted: and, Request
Thanking You
Suvayu C.
(172 words)
Score: 6.0
Detail comments
Generally addresses the topic. Details are mainly mechanical and there isn’t a clear
overview. Key features are adequately covered but could be done more fully to
achieve a higher band

use.

errors.

Example 2
Dear Mr. Smith,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I attended the tourism conference on
company payroll in Singapore last week and I some information that could be very Deleted: discovered acquired
useful for our company. Thus, I am writing this letter in order to request your Deleted: are critically
permission to have a three hour seminar at our conference room next Monday Deleted: on
morning so I may possibly present the information to our colleagues . Deleted: them to
Deleted: colleage
During the conference, I listened to speaker who delivered a very interesting
presentation on ‘Using Social Networks to Handle Complaints’. This would be Deleted: found the topic
extremely relevant to our customer service team and I think they would benefit Deleted: is the one of most emerging
topics that our
greatly from this presentation.
Deleted: needs to master.
Deleted: certainly will discuss with them
During the seminar, I’d like to discuss three aspects regarding the importance of
three critical points
social networks to our company’s image; how angry customers typically respond on Deleted: ,
their social networks, and how to appease and win back unsatisfied customers Deleted: chill out
effectively using social networks.As mentioned above, I expect every member of our Deleted: ¶
customer service team to attend this seminar. Besides this, front of the house Deleted: surely
managers might also find the content to be important, relevant and useful for their Deleted: its
daily duties. I am looking forward to possibly receiving your good news. Thank you Deleted: s
Deleted: are relatively
for your time and consideration.
Deleted: to
Yours sincerely,
(199 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
You conveyed the information very well and covered all parts of the task. Some
minor lapses in tone and a few points/details could have been extended further.

A very logical response, main ideas progress throughout the response and each
paragraph has a clear purpose. Paragraphing could be more effective in places.
Good use of cohesive devices which attracts little attention, could be more varied.
A more than adequate range of vocabulary would push this to a 7, however, there
are some frequent inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (word order).
A mix of complicated and simple sentence forms. Some errors but they rarely
reduce communication.
Example 3
Dear Mr. Smith, Deleted: s
This is Vivek Shah with employee ID 27463 working in your firm and the aim of Deleted: v
writing this is to request you to provide me an opportunity to undertake a meeting. It Deleted: s
is here I would like to present the latest affairs and developments in our profession Deleted: wherein I could
which I learnt from a recent conference on accounting in Sydney last week. The focal
aspect of the conference was to introduce with latest and amended accounting
standards on which we base our audit process.
I would propose to undertake an indulging presentation where the communication is

two ways. I will present each standard along with the latest instances and will
discuss with you all how it is applicable to our profession. The likely topic is how is Deleted: s are
the latest reporting framework applicable to our business scenario. Furthermore, we

will have an in-depth analytical debate on the new standards and the amended one,
and the rationale behind such changes. Subsequently, we will discuss how this
transformation will affect future audits of our client’s business as we deal with
versatile business scenarios such as corporate and trust audits and so forth.

I recommend all the senior, middle and operational level managers to get involved in
this discussion as having versatile views ranging from strategic to tactical
implications would contribute to valuable insights. Moreover, I suggest that this
should be organized in the headquarters meeting room as the meeting will be longer
than usual and some pivotal decisions are necessary to be considered.
It is my diligent request to allow me to reflect my knowledge of updated learning

from the conference and it will prove beneficial to our esteemed company in the long
run.
Yours sincerely,
V. Shah Deleted: s
(276 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses the requirements of the task.
Presents a purpose that is generally clear; there may be inconsistencies in tone.
Presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details may be
irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate.
use.


---------- Question 4 ----------
You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to
complete it.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
• Ask for some time off to complete a qualification.

• Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
• Say how the qualification helps your job or company.
Example 1
Dear Mr. Smith,
I write this letter to ask you for some time off my work. I really need it to complete my
qualification. I am currently enrolled in a Machine Learning course, completion of
which, I believe, will be rather beneficial for me.
Moreover, it will help the company since I will obtain rare skills that can be crucial for
the company success in the IT market. I will apply the knowledge, that I will have Deleted: on
after the successful qualification completion, directly to our current project which we
are working on. It will dramatically increase our chances of success, and, which is
more important, give us better leverage in securing the next round of investments. Deleted: will
Deleted: a
Whether I will get success or not, I promise that I will work the extra hours during Deleted: the
next month to cover the hours I took for the qualification.

I only need 2 days off in order to complete and, hopefully, succeed in this Deleted: ss
qualification.
Sincerely,
Igor L. (161 words)

Score: 6.0
Detail comments
Candidate addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview with
information appropriately selected. There may be inconsistencies in tone.
Candidate presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details
may be slightly irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate.

use.
Example 2
Dear Mr. Smith,
As you know, I have been studying since July to apply for my qualification in
"Business Management in the Digital Era". I would like to request for a couple of days
off in order to finish preparing for it.

I will be taking the final exam required to obtain the certification on 21st December,
would it be possible for me to be absent from work during the previous week? Since I
have been studying non-stop for the last couple of months and I believe just one
week would be plenty.
I understand the week before Christmas is one of the busiest of the year, so I will
make sure to make up for the lost time by staying after hours. This should give me
enough time to finish the monthly sales report that is due by the end of the year.
After receiving my qualification, I will be proposing some changes in our workflow

that will certainly boost our sales. For instance, by shifting our main medium of
advertising from the television to the internet which will definitely increase our
coverage.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Sebastian.
(194 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
extended.

Example 3
Dear Mr. Smith,

Deleted: v
I am Vivek Shah with employee ID 22766 and the purpose of writing this letter to Deleted: s
you is to discuss regarding my proposed time off for the next couple of days. This
break is required due to my ongoing course on audit and assurance. As it is known
that this subject is critical and significant time has to be dedicated to achieve this
qualification
I need the proposed break the coming week as I have my written exam on the
weekend of that week. Currently, I have requested my colleagues to take on my duty
during my day off and they have agreed on it. Once I rejoin the company, I will
dedicatedly overcome whatever work has been remaining. Moreover, I will be able to
contribute during weekends after my exams or work overtime.
Furthermore, this particular exam is the last exam of my professional accountancy

course and after acing it, I could contribute towards this organization
unprecedentedly. For instance, after being awarded with professional accountant
status, I could legally file statutory audits and moreover, I could have a broad
knowledge on various accounting and auditing standards which our firm is
embracing in daily operations.

Deleted: a
It is my earnest request to you to grant me leave for the examination purpose and I
anticipate a favourable response. I also apologize for any disturbance in the work
schedule caused due to my absence.
Yours faithfully,
V.Shah
(234 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

appropriately.
use.
word choice and collocation.
Produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation.

The majority of sentences are error-free
Example 4
Dear Mr Watson
I am writing this letter to request for time to be away from work starting from 15th of
June to 24th of June 2019, so that I can write my final exam on Chemical Handling.
I had communicated to you earlier about this exam, so you advised that I may apply
formally through writing. Since I know the demands of my job, I have already planned
how I will be able to compensate you for my time off. Luckily, the period I have
chosen does not coincide with the peak work demands when all staff members must
be available. I will be leaving my colleague with my work, and I have updated all the
required information for the month end reports. Deleted: monthend
Chemical Handling Course is essential for the work I do. Furthermore, the new
government regulation requires that one of our team members be trained on the new
aspects of chemical handling. As you know, we already had a non-compliance issue Deleted: ve
raised in our last audit, so completing this course will be of great benefit to the
company.
I hope you will see this as worth the effort to complete. I will be patiently waiting for
your response.
Yours sincerely,
T. Mangwende
(203 words)
Score: 9.0

Detail comments
All part of response fully answered.
Fully cohesive and coherent.
Lexical Resource fully appropriate and near native level.
Negligible Grammar mistakes only seen by native speakers.

---------- Question 5 ----------
You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course in a
college. Unfortunately because of a previous appointment you cannot come at the
time they wish.
Write a letter to the admissions tutor:
• explain your position

• apologise and offer to come on another day or later the same day
• ask also how long the interview will be and whether there will be any tests
during it.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
Example 1
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to inform you that I will not be able to make it to the interview slated for
tomorrow morning. Kindly accept my sincere apology for missing this schedule. This
is due to the fact that I have to take my mother for an urgent medical procedure
slated for the same time as the interview. Wow this is excellent.
I would like to propose Wednesday afternoon for another attempt at an interview, if Deleted: will
that would be convenient for you. I would be able to come in early Wednesday to Deleted: the
Deleted: will
attend the interview. I deeply hope you will accept this date as I have been looking
Deleted: will
forward to an opportunity to have this interview.
Deleted: enough onin
Deleted: wish
If I may ask, how lengthy is the interview. I am curious about this to allow me prepare
my plan for the day based on the period of time I will spend at the college.
Also, I would love to know if the interview will include any form of test. This Deleted: will
information will help me to prepare well for the test part of the interview if there is on
to take. Deleted: will be any.

I thank you very much for the opportunity offered to me. I look forward to a favorable
response from you as soon as possible.
Yours Faithfully
O. I.
(210 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

use.

Example 2
Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope my letter finds you in good health. I regret to inform you that I am having a
college entrance interview next Monday morning at 9 o’clock but I already have an Deleted: had
appointment with my doctor at 8 o’clock which had been booked two weeks ago.
This puts me in an awkward position. Thus, I am respectfully writing this letter to ask
if it is possible to rearrange our interview for another time if at all possible. . Deleted: to
Deleted: frame
I’ve already tried to reschedule the doctor’s appointment, however, he is fully booked
until the end of this month and my insurance plan expires by the end of next week. Deleted: is expiring
Thus, it would be convenient if you might possibly reschedule our interview to Deleted: ay
Monday morning at 11 o’clock so I am able get back to the college on time. Besides
this, I am wondering if there are any entrance tests or presentations mock exam
materials so I might have time to prepare for them in advance.
Deleted: hopefullypotentially receiving
I am looking forward to hopefully receiving some good news. I am terribly sorry for Deleted: your
the inconvenience. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
(171 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

use.
Example 3
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to inform you that I will not be able to attend the interview I have been Deleted: had
invited to.
First of all I would like to express my apologies for any inconveniences which might
be caused by my absence. It is very unfortunate that I have already another
appointment booked for that time and it can not be postponed. Deleted: the
However, I am still interested in attending the interview and I would like to request if
there is a possibility of rescheduling the meeting to some other day or even a later
time the same day. I want to reassure you that this time I will put all my effort to free Deleted: my all
my schedule for any proposed date and time.
I would also like to use this opportunity to ask a question regarding the interview. I Deleted: oportunity
have been wondering whether there is a test during the meeting and how much time Deleted: wehter
I should book for this occasion.
Thank you for your consideration and cooperation.
Yours faithfully,

K. Grabczuk
(170 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Task Achievement - Covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear
overview of main trends, differences or stages. Clearly presents and highlights
key features but could be more fully extended.
Coherence and Cohesion - Logically organises information and ideas. There is clear
progression throughout. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although
there may be some under use.

Example 4
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter in regards to the invitation that I received for an interview
scheduled on March 13th at 9 AM. I thank you very much for providing me this huge Comment [A18]: providing me with
opportunity. Unfortunately, during this time I have booked a driving test appointment Comment [A19]: this phrase is not
necessary and might be confusing
on the same day at 9.30 AM and therefore, I will not be able to attend the interview
at 9 AM.
I am very sorry for the inconvenience. However, I am available on the same day after
1 PM and I am also available on the following Monday and Tuesday from 9 AM – 2
PM. Please let me know what time would work best for you to reschedule the
interview.
I would really appreciate it if you can help me with the following questions. I was
wondering how long the interview process would take and should I be prepared for
any tests that day?
I once again thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I am very excited
and eagerly looking forward for your reply. Comment [A20]: to
Yours Sincerely,
(175 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
The purpose of the letter is very clear and the tone is correct throughout. All of the
bullet points are covered fully and correct letter conventions are used throughout.
The answer flows very smoothly and is very easy to follow. Linking devices are

used naturally to help structure the answer.
A wide range of vocabulary is used which is appropriate to the task and to the
register. Style and collocation are in evidence throughout.
A range of complex sentences are used accurately and appropriately. The majority
of sentences are error-free with some minimal errors related to prepositions.

---------- Question 6 ----------
Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been
interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really
interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course.
Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter
• explain why you are writing

• describe your circumstances
• ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enrol in the
course
Example 1
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in regard to the computer course which you are going to hold very soon. Deleted: with
I would like, therefore, to express my interest in such a course as I have read the
course brochure pretty well and I have found it so informative, practical and
comprehensive.
I have always been interested in computer sciences and practiced some of the Deleted: While
programs which are relevant to my field of business, healthcare IT; however, over the
course of my life, unfortunately, I have never been involved in an academic learning
course of computer sciences. Nevertheless, I have been using and practicing some Deleted: s
Photoshop and some various editions of Office programs for almost nine years which
made me updated and qualified as well.
Given the fact that this course is available only for those who have taken the Deleted: m
elementary course, which I have not had the opportunity to take before, I was, Deleted: took
therefore, wondering if you could make an exception for me as long as I have the
basic knowledge of this course. Your assistance in this matter is highly appreciated.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Deleted: the soonest

Yours faithfully, Deleted: Faithfully
A.Sakr
(192 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
extended.

Example 2
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in reference to the computer course 'Programming basics in Java', which Deleted: A
has been scheduled to take place on January 23, 2019. Although it has been
mentioned that the course is appropriate only for those who have completed level 1
certification, I was wondering if it would also be suitable for beginners.
The reason being, I have always had an inclination towards topics on computers and
how they operate. Unfortunately, I never got to enroll myself for any certification,
since I had to focus on my English language skills for the previous summer. The
above mentioned course syllabus is well formulated and suits my knowledge needs
with respect to programming. I am sure I can gain many more insights and complete Deleted: Am
a professional certification in the near future. Deleted: manyuch more
Considering my circumstances, it would be great if an exception is made possible in

this case. If there is any other prerequisite that I can fulfill in order to register, please
let me know.
Awaiting your earnest and favorable response.
Yours sincerely,
Anjana (173 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

Example 3
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to ask if I can be enrolled into the computer course “Data mining and
machine learning“ provided by the school of Information and Technology. According
to the information on the university’s website, there are still 15 seats left available for
this course in the coming semester.
Let me explain my situation in more detail. Although I have a background in art, I

have always been interested in computer science. I had chance to get to know
programming during my internship with one of the leading financial institutions in
Australia. In this internship I worked with the company’s data advisory team and
learnt some basic knowledge about computers and algorithms.
I understand that only the applicants who have completed an elementary course are
eligible for the enrollment of this computing course. However I would really be
appreciative if a special exception can be made for people like me who are keen to Deleted: ed
learn computer science. Could you please let me know if this is possible? Deleted: is
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,
A. He
(184 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Example 4
Dear Sir,
It has recently come to my notice that Queens College is offering a three-month crash
course on ‘’Advanced Java”. However, one of the entry requirements for enrolment Deleted: into
onto the course is the completion of an elementary one on the ‘Basics of Java’. While Deleted: course

it is perfectly understandable that the advance stage of any course would necessitate
the completion of a preliminary one, I sincerely believe that in special circumstances,
certain exceptions can be made.
For the past six months, I have been an avid follower of all things related to Java. I
have spent an ample amount of time reading books related to the basics of Java,
done a bit of rudimentary level programming myself using java and have watched
dozens of online tutorial videos relating to the basics of programming. These are only
some of the examples of activities I can use to express my enthusiasm for Java. I can Deleted: ,
say with great conviction that they have greatly enhanced my basic knowledge of Deleted: and
Java while simultaneously, also given me a broad and comprehensive understanding

of its basic concepts.
While I understand that my mere enthusiasm for Java does not amount to an official
confirmation of basic competency and knowledge, I am devoid of any other
alternatives. If I could complete the preliminary course in Java, I would without any
hesitation; however, the 400 pound course fee is a bit excessive for me, given my Deleted: ,
monthly income and personal financial commitments. Deleted: s
As a matter of fact, in order to establish my suitability for enrolment and alleviate any
concerns of basic competency and knowledge, I am even willing to write an entrance
exam for the advance course. Therefore, sir, in light of what I have mentioned above, I
hope you will take my case into consideration and grant me admission on an
exceptional basis.
Kind regards, Deleted: R
A.D. Kumar
(310 words)
Score: 9.0
Detail comments
Fully satisfies all the requirements of the task.

Clearly presents a fully developed response.
Sequences information and ideas logically.
Manages all aspects of cohesion well.
word choice.
Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors
occur only as ‘slips’.

Letters of Complaint
---------- Question 1 ----------
You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal
and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the
restaurant.
In the letter:
• explain why you were at the restaurant

• describe the problems
• write about the action you want the manager to take

Begin your letter as: Dear Sir or Madam,
Example 1
Dear Sir /Madam, Deleted: e
I am writing this letter to complain about my last experience in your restaurant

yesterday evening. I decided, along with my family, to try some of your new dinner Deleted: in the
menu which a lot of online reviewers praised on the TripAdvisor website, so that we
ordered a well-done cooked steak, one salad and a lentil soup. Unfortunately, Deleted: s
although it was so delicious and the customer service was impeccable, we rushed to
the nearest hospital two hours later suffering from nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. All
the laboratory tests proved that the food we ate was contaminated with E-Coli
bacteria.
Hence, I would like to ask you for a full refund as a compensation of the physical and
emotional hurt we had due to such a horrible experience. In addition, I urge you to
undertake a full checkup of your standard hygienic measures as well as a medical Deleted: for
checkup for all of your staff.
Looking forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,
A. Sakr
(164 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
extended.
communication.

Example 2
Dear Sir,
I am writing you this letter to share my recent experience at your restaurant at

Fremont, California 2 days ago on Thursday, (7/10/2018). Myself along with my
family visited your restaurant for a dinner, it was my parents 50 th anniversary and we
wanted to celebrate over dinner and drinks. Although the service at the restaurant
was extremely good, the food quality was highly questionable. We ordered Pasta
and red wine in our entrée and the food was not properly seasoned and was a bit
undercooked. The pasta sauce was also a bit sour and felt a bit stale. Moreover, the
air conditioning of the restaurant was not working properly and that added to our
bad experience. We have visited this restaurant for the first time and unfortunately
we had to leave the place leaving the food and also had to pay for the food that we
didn’t ate.
I would highly recommend that you should immediately dive deep into the food
quality of your restaurant and double check the hygiene and quality of your kitchen
and pantry respectively. Also I would like to see a customer feedback register at the
restaurant so that customers can register their grievances and provide feedback on Deleted: there
the spot, and that register should be regularly monitored my the restaurant
management to improve their service and quality of food and beverages. I would also Deleted: there
like to finally ask for a refund for the money that we paid for the food that evening. I
hope you would look into these issues and take appropriate actions to address my
concerns.
Yours Sincerely
Nishant Arya (270 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


use.

errors.
Example 3
Dear Sir or Madam,
I went to your restaurant yesterday with my family and I have to say that we had one
of the worst experiences ever.
We came to your establishment to celebrate my elder brother’s recent promotion and

it was a joyous occasion for our entire family. My mom, especially was very happy to
see her son rise up in the corporate ladder, but I was heartbroken that such an event
was marred by your establishment’s lack of care to customer service
We were made to wait for nearly an hour before anyone even paid any attention to
us. It was also empty, so there was no excuse for such behavior. But that was just the
beginning, what followed next could only be explained as plain disregard for human
decency and common sense. The food was tasteless, chicken was grossly Deleted: F

undercooked and overly seasoned. Our food was returned without changing it and
we found human hair in it. No effort was made to rectify any of this. All our Deleted: hour
complaints fell on deaf ears of our waiter. Disappointed, we tried to leave, choosing
not to tip our waiter, and we were almost assaulted out of the establishment for it.
I am deeply hurt and disappointed by this kind of behavior, and I sincerely hope that
this is an isolated event and not a systemic culture supported by your management. I
strongly urge you to care about your patrons and treat them with respect. I also like
you to fire the rude waiter, barring which I will be taking legal action against your
restaurant
Sincerely
R.
(265 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments


---------- Question 2 ----------
You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the
time of year and the heating / cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate.
Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter:
• give details of what went wrong

• explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time
• say what action you would like the manager to take
Example 1
To whom it may concerns,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I spent a night at your hotel last week and
the stay was unpleasant. I am writing this letter to explain the situation and I expect
reasonable compensation.
Normally, the weather is not very hot at this time of the year. However, it was
extremely hot during my stay at your hotel. Unfortunately, your air-conditioning
system was run down. The room was very hot even at midnight. I tried to contact the Deleted: tired
receptionist to into a new room and they did it; but the condition was still the same. Deleted: might
Deleted: receptionisto request that I coul
Finally, we came up with the solution that two fans were installed to my room for move t for moving
extra ventilation. It worked but I did not sleep well at all due to the noise from the
fans’ motors.
I found it is unreasonable for a five star hotel that has a problem with the air- Deleted: s
conditioning system during summer months since I spent a lot for such an amenity. I
expect to receive full refund for the trouble during my stay. I am looking forward to Deleted: that
potentially receiving your good news. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
(196 words)

Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.

errors.
Example 2
Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing to complain about the inadequate cooling system in your hotel during Deleted: against
my stay from 1st October to 5th October 2018.
The main problem occurred due to the air conditioning not working effectively to cool Deleted: condition
the room to a comfortable temperature. The weather was unusually hot during that Deleted: at

time to about 85 F. As a result of the high temperature, it was quite difficult to sleep
in the room.
I complained about the problem multiple times to the manager at the front desk.
However in spite of multiple complaints, nothing was done to rectify the situation.
Therefore, I decided to cut short my stay and moved to a different hotel. This was a
huge inconvenience and wasted a lot of time. I therefore request you to reimburse me
the payment for the remaining part of the stay. In addition, I am hoping that you will
be providing additional compensation for the lack of service and basic amenities at
your hotel.
I am sure you will look into this matter and provide a resolution at the earliest.
Yours Sincerely,
Savya Y.
(183 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
The purpose of the letter is clear and the tone is correct throughout. Letter
conventions are followed precisely. The bullet points are covered and developed
fully.
The answer flows well with good use of paragraphs. A range of linking phrases is
used accurately and appropriately.
A wide range of vocabulary is used which is very precise to the task. There is clear

and sustained evidence of collocation, style and flexibility.
A range of sentence structures is used accurately and appropriately. The majority of

sentences are complex. There are some mistakes with articles and prepositions.
Example 3
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to express my utmost displeasure regarding an encounter I had in your

hotel last week. My name is Susan Omeiza. I have been a regular customer of yours
for over 10 years. However, I was not happy with the unbearable weather conditions Deleted: 10years
I experienced in room 408, last week on Wednesday to be precise. Deleted: experience
The heating system did not work throughout the night, even up until the next
morning. My 2 year old son and I had to sleep in an extremely cold room. This also
affected the water heating system. We eventually had to boil water in a kettle to take
a bath the next morning. My son fell ill with pneumonia shortly after this experience
and it has cost me approximately $200 to treat him in the hospital.
I would like to be compensated with a 50% refund of my hotel bill. Also, Deleted: s
management should endeavor to maintain and service the cooling/heating system in

all rooms on a regular basis, so other customers do not go through a similar
unpleasant experience like I did.
Yours Faithfully
Ms. Susan O.
(192 words)
Score: 8.0

Detail comments

---------- Question 3 ----------
You are a member of an organisation which meets regularly at a particular restaurant.

The most recent meal you had there was not satisfactory.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter
• explain why you are writing

• describe what went wrong with the meal and service
• suggest what the manager should do to ensure that you and your group
return to the restaurant
Dear,...
Example 2
Dear Mr. Patel, Comment [A21]: Note: There must be a

comma after the name here.
This is Vivek Shah who is an employee in X plc and regularly visits your restaurant
“Authentic Indian” for meetings. As you know we have a meeting twice a month at Deleted: a
your place, so we are strongly familiar with the food of your restaurant. However, the Deleted: and
purpose of writing this letter is to inform you that the dishes served and the service in
the previous meeting was totally unsatisfactory compared to other prior meetings.
This time my company decided to have Mughal cuisine instead of the regular ones
and hence it was our first ever experience for a different cuisine but there were major
problems encountered in the food. Firstly, Mughlai bread is distinct from typical
Indian bread and it requires more care to be cooked; however, the bread served was Deleted: were
more roasted and consequently, instead of getting a softer one we had to eat hard
crunchy bread. Moreover, the curry was also unappealing as we felt the gravy was
Deleted: as well it
overcooked which deteriorated the essence of the cuisine. Furthermore, the service
Deleted: time
was also inferior this time as the buffet was not prepared on time and took longer
Deleted: get served on it
than usual for the food to be prepared which delayed us getting back to office.
Deleted: kept us waiting to get

Deleted: s
It is my kind recommendation to avoid such mismanagement in future meetings as
we are frequently visiting your venue. Moreover, it is also suggested to train your
Deleted: a
chefs for other cuisines as greater demands from customers like us will lead to
Deleted: to be
versatile cuisines being cooked due to greater expectations from you.
Yours sincerely,
V. Shah
(261 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
Addresses the requirements of the task.
Presents a purpose that is generally clear; there may be inconsistencies in tone.
Presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details may be
irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate.
use.

communication.
Example 2
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am part of a fundraising organisation that meets up every last Friday of the month in Deleted: fund-raising
your restaurant to discuss internal matters. I am writing this letter to inform you that
our last meal there was not up to the standards we have grown used to over the last
couple of years and this might result in us changing our monthly meeting location.
There are a couple of issues I would like to address in this letter. Firstly, two out of Deleted: is
the five meat-based dishes were not cooked to my colleagues liking despite having
specified exactly how they should be prepared; this has never been a problem in the Deleted: ,
past. Secondly, one of the meals was served inexplicably late in comparison to the
others. Finally, the clients on the table next to ours were being obnoxiously loud and
our waiter did not approach them even after being repeatedly asked, by us, to do
something about it.
Given that we have been regular customers of yours for a few years now, I believe
we should not haste to look for a new restaurant and would appreciate it if we could
work together towards a solution. I think an explanation as to why the quality of the
service seems to have dropped since the last time we attended would be the place to
start at.
Yours faithfully,
Sebastian C. (239 words)
Score: 7.0

Detail comments
extended.
use.
Example 3
Dear Rajesh,
I am writing this letter to tell you about a terrible experience we had, while dining at Comment [A22]: “bad” is a low level
word
your restaurant last evening. We were displeased with the quality of food and service Deleted: bad
provided to us. This letter will highlight these problems in detail.

Let me explain this further. Yesterday evening my organization, of which I am a

member, came to dine at your restaurant. This event is a regular activity but
yesterday we were in for a brutal shock. To start off with, the table which was
reserved in advance was given to another group. This would not have been a
problem if we were ushered to another table. But, we were kept waiting for 30
minutes before a table was organized. Excellent stuff so far! To make matters worse,
the assigned table was not cleaned and had food stains all over the table cloth.
Another reason was the quality of food that was delivered to us. Aside from the fact
that most of our food was cold, there were glaring problems with how the food was
prepared. For example, the vegetable curry that was ordered had only curry and no
vegetables. This, combined with factors mentioned above made up for a very
unpleasant event at your restaurant. Deleted: displeasant
Since our organization has been meeting up at your restaurant for quite sometime, I
know the quality of service and meal is generally quite good. Having said that, I
would like to suggest that the staff is well equipped and trained so that such bad
experiences don’t happen again.. I would also suggest to organize a special event for Deleted: are never created
our group, so that the trust on your restaurant brand is rebuilt and made stronger.
This would make us rethink to come back to have more future gatherings in your Deleted: and
restaurant.
I hope you will do the needful endeavours to strengthen our ties.
Your sincerely,
Nikhil J.
(309 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments


errors.

---------- Question 4 ----------
There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your
area over the last two weeks.
Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter
• describe what the problems are

• explain how these problems are affecting you
• suggest what you would like the company to do
Dear ...........,
Example 1
Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter in connection with the NJ transit bus service reliability issues
seen in my area over the past two weeks. I have noticed that the buses arriving at the
stop on Irving Street/Central Avenue are consistently fifteen to twenty minutes late.
On a few occasions, the buses did not arrive at all and the commuters had no clue
regarding this terrible inconvenience.. Deleted: about it
In last two weeks, I have had to arrange an alternate mode of transport on certain
days as I had important schedules to follow. On days when I have waited patiently
for the bus I had to miss my connecting train which leaves from Hoboken at the right
time, everytime. This is unacceptable. Deleted: .
As I had a terrible time the last two weeks planning my commute I also feel it would Deleted: in
not have been otherwise for all other fellow commuters. Thus I would suggest you to
look into this matter as a priority and help the bus service follow their schedule more Deleted: at
strictly.

I would appreciate if you could address the issue and take prompt action.
Yours faithfully,
Sandeep
(172 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.

errors.

Example 2
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you in reference to a problem with the official timetable of our local
bus, number 422, which is the service that connects Revesby Heights with train
services in Revesby.
There are discrepancies between the displayed timetable and the actual times when Deleted: discrepencies
the bus arrives to a bus stop. It might be anything from ten minutes difference during
the off-peak hours to more than a 20 minutes in rush hours. Moreover, the capacity
of those buses is not enough and many people are left behind, forced to wait for the
next service.
I consider myself to be a daily-user of the 422 and both of the above issues are
affecting me directly. I am never certain at what time the buses will come as well as
when to expect to arrive at my destination. Additionally, even if I am lucky enough to
catch one of the buses, I might be left stranded at the stop.
I would like to propose solutions to these problems in a form of a timetable

alternation and extra services during a peak hours.
If you could conduct a study to properly address the issues that would be great.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely, Deleted: S
Marian K.
(205 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

Presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or stages.
extended.
Example 3
Dear Sir,
I am writing in connection with the terrible bus service at Carlton Avenue Bus
Station. I have noticed that the buses are not arriving at the specified time at this
particular stop. This has become a major cause of havoc in my area.

Because of this delay, it is getting exceptionally crowded around the bus stop. It is
extremely irritating to waste an hour in the morning to catch a bus.Because of this, I Deleted: t Due to
am always late for work and meetings in the morning. Although all buses are coming
to this station, they are not reliable at all. My morning journey has resulted in major
chaos and I real hassle to get a seat.
Could you please adjust the schedule? I would also like you to add two more uses to Deleted: coaches
our area in order to reduce human congestion and improve this situation. It would be
a peaceful journey again as before.
Waiting for a positive response.
Yours Faithfully,
Kevin
(156 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


Letters to Social Clubs & Community Groups

---------- Question 1 ----------
You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to
practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer
possible for the group to use the hall.
Write a letter to the manager. In the letter:

• describe what the group does
• explain why the group is good for the community
• suggest alternative days and times for practice
Example 1
Dear Sir,
I am from the Tulip music group and I am a violinist. We work on contract basis and
our tie ups are mainly with movie producers and event organizers to provide
background music on various occasions. Deleted: at
We come to the community hall to practice every Tuesday and Friday evenings,
however, for some reason we are not allowed to use the hall anymore. I would like
you to please re-consider giving us a slot because we have been an integral part of
the community for a long time. We are popular among the local people and we also
perform for free in local community events. Deleted: the
I presume that you have prior engagements with other parties for the community hall
at our previous schedule; therefore I am proposing new timelines for our practice Deleted: t
sessions. We would only use the hall on Monday every week for four hours starting Deleted: wouldwill only
at 4:00 PM and ending at 8:00 PM.
Please let me know if this arrangement fits community hall’s program.

Yours Sincerely
J. Jonas
(167 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.

errors.

Example 2
Dear Sir / Madam,
I’m writing this letter on behalf of our town’s music band in order to express our
awkward situation due to the lack of a practicing venue. We hope the council
provides an adequate practicing place for our upcoming activities.
To begin with, we have been practicing at the town hall on Tuesday and Friday night
for over three years. Suddenly, our auditorium schedule has been cancelled from next Deleted: will be
month in order to save the space for the new dancing class. The decision is Deleted: startingstaring next month
considered to be unfair since we have contributed too much to our town’s image.
During the past three years, as the town’s representative, the band has won the
national classical music competition twice. Besides, our introduction to musical
instruments classes had also nurtured some local talents who were chosen for the Deleted: of
national orchestra last year. Deleted: m
Currently, we’ve noticed that there is an empty room on the first floor of the town hall
on Tuesday and Friday night. We are willing to move in order to keep our activities on
going. We are looking forward to your good news. Thank you for your time and
consideration.
Yours faithfully,
(193 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments

appropriately.

Example 3
Dear Manager,
I am writing this letter regarding the recent notice we received about not being able
to use the community hall for practice. We are a group of freelance musicians who
usually practice on Tuesday and Friday nights in the hall before our shows and we Deleted: s
are sorry to hear the news that we are unable to continue to do this Deleted: .
We have become the most popular performer in this community since the first time
we gave our show to the community. Many children and elderly people enjoyed our
show and found it an exciting way to spend their leisure time. Moreover, some Deleted: a good
parents told us that their children even got interested in music and would love to
learn a musical instrument because of seeing us play Deleted: .
We do hope to use the community hall for practicing in the future. If Tuesday and
Friday evenings are not the preferable time, we can arrange another time such as

Saturday afternoon or so to accommodate the schedule of the community hall. Please

let us know whether it works for you. Hope to hear from you soon. Thank you.
Sincerely,
(174 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments

errors.

---------- Question 2 ----------
You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head
of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser.
Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter
• expressing your interest in the role

• requesting more information about it
• explaining what experience you have
Example 1
Deleted: s
Dear Sir,
Deleted: in
As a participant on the upcoming training programme in public relations, in the UK Deleted: on
next month, I am writing to inform you of my interest in the social events’ organiser
role.
Deleted: ,
Although I have not coordinated any events internationally, working in a corporate Deleted: co-ordinated
communications department has aided the development of my organisation skills,

and I have successfully planned and executed ten corporate and social events for my
organisation in the last two years.
I am of the utmost confidence that my acquired experience from my job will be crucial
to achieving excellent results in this role if I am chosen. Also, given an opportunity of Deleted: ,
this kind will help me broaden my experience in this field.
Furthermore, I want to enquire about the scope of this role, requirement of any
particular skill(s), the availability of funding by the training committee and possible
restrictions from event choices, so as to have a clear understanding of what I might
be working with.

I will be willing to communicate further the required details and evidence of my Deleted: as
experience upon request. Thank you for your consideration and I await a favourable
response.
Yours faithfully,
Hameed Z. Y.
(193 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
extended.

communication.
Example 2
Dear John,
I hope you are in good health. I will be attending the monthly training program held in
the UK at Grammy Hall on 16 January 2019. As part of this training program I have
learned that the course requires one of the participants to organise the social event. I
am writing this letter to you regarding my interest in organising the event. Deleted: to
Deleted: e
I have organised many social events in the past. Some of these events have had more
than hundreds of people. Twice I was also awarded a Rockstar award for managing
the social events. After seeing my potential and past experience I hope you would Deleted: And s
consider me a competitive candidate for the post of event organiser. If you feel that I
have the caliber to manage such events then please do let me know more details
about the events.
I hope you will consider my application for the post for event organiser. Looking
forward to getting a positive response from you.
Your sincerely
Rishab (163 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


use.

errors.
Example 3
Dear Dr. Smith,
I hope my letter finds you in good health. I have received an email regarding a
vacancy for the upcoming events’ organizer position at our university throughout this
November. I am going to participate in a training course for the whole of November.
Thus, I am writing this letter to express my interest in the events’ organizer position.
The email only provided a job description; so it would be very kind of you to inform
me which specific types of events we are going to host. Besides, I am also curious
about the schedule, venue and the size of these since I may possibly have to cope
with hosting events along with completing my training course; which is surely more
important than some of the other activities.

Regarding previous experience, I have been working as an event manager at a major

international hotel chain since 2015. At our hotel, we’re familiar with hosting various Deleted: three years ago
types of events such as banquet dining, conferences, auctions, and so on. As a result,
I strongly believe that I am a perfect candidate for this position thanks to my
professional background. I am looking forward to potentially receiving your good
news. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
(203 words)

---------- Question 3 ----------
You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very
interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be
able to keep up.
Write to the tour operator. In your letter:
• Explain why you're interested in the tour.

• Ask for information about dates and prices.
• Express your concerns about your fitness level.
You do not need to write any addresses.
Example 1
Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing to ask about the one-week walking tour in the mountains which you are
currently advertising for. I am interested in being a part of this tour. I have been a fan
of nature and outdoor activities since my childhood. In addition, I would like to Deleted: the
observe the sun set from the top of the mountain and experience the wildlife as I Deleted: out doors
have not been in the woods for ages. Deleted: since
Therefore, I would like to know the exact dates and prices for the tour because I could
not find any information about them in the brochure.
Deleted: of preforming
Finally, I am an obese male and due to this fact, I am unable to perform any intense
physical activity such as climbing rocks. Please let me know if the tour involves any
heavy exercises which require a certain level of fitness.
I am looking forward to hearing your prompt response.
Yours faithfully,

T. Nashad
(158 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
extended.
Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately.

Example 2
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to express my interest in your Yosemite National Park hiking
tour which I found in a brochure during our visit at the National Travel Fair in San
Francisco last Saturday. After having spent a substantial amount of time on Deleted: substaintial
researching it, I realize this could be the one of the most memorable tours in my life Deleted: about
thanks to the magnificent landscape and wide variety of flora and fauna. However, I Deleted: magnificient
also have a few concerns that need to be clarified. Deleted: am

Deleted: ing
Although the brochure demonstrated the information thoroughly, I found there was Deleted: throughoutly
lack of dates and prices. It would be very kind of you to provide the dates and prices Deleted: it
Deleted: the
since the prices may fluctuate due to seasonality. Besides, the length of the hike is
also missing in the brochure. I currently weigh more than 200lbs so my body is not
suitable for strenuous hiking activities, especially for a long hike on steep terrain.
Thus, knowing the difficulty level of the hike is essential for me before actually
booking the tour.
It would be very kind of you to provide these information as soon as possible. I am

seriously planning to participate in the tour by the end of this month if it is suitable for Deleted: in case
my health condition. I am looking forward to your potentially positive feedback. Thank

you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely yours,
(235 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments


errors.
Example 3
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you in regards to the walking tour in the Rocky Mountains. I just
moved from Chicago to Denver last month and this tour would be a perfect
opportunity for me to get around the mountains area and possibly meet some new
friends. I am interested in a one-week tour and would like to get a little more
information.
May I know what dates are available in the month of August and September this
year? I’d also like to know the price for the tour and whether there is any discount
offered for students.
One thing I’d like to express is my fitness level. I had an ankle injury last year and I
haven’t really exercised much since then. I used to be very athletic and now I can Deleted: haventdn’t
barely run for a mile. This worries me as I am not sure how intensive the one-week
walking tour is and whether I would be able to keep up. If this is something that
would make me unqualified for the tour, I can completely understand.

Thank you for your time and please let me know if you need any information from my
end.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Best,
Gavin
(208 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - Uses a wide range of structures. The majority
of sentences are error-free. Makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.

Part 2
TASK 2
SAMPLE ESSAYS
VOLUME 1 – Academic Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

Agree and Disagree

---------- Question 1 ----------
Write about the following topic.
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do
not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may
improve our lives.
Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Example 1
In today's world advertising plays a key role in shaping people's shopping interests
but others might disagree. I may agree with both the views. In this essay we will
discuss which point is valid regarding the advertisements. Deleted: about
Advertisements have been around since the early times but since the advent of Deleted: is
television and print media has become much more influential. For example, there is Deleted: there
Deleted: it
no concept of buying diamond rings for marriage before the 1950's. A clever
advertising campaign called "Diamonds are forever" changed it completely since then
and as many as 90 percent of the couples would buy diamonds for their marriage.
This really shows the power of influencing people to buy something they really do Deleted: es
not want. So advertising plays a key role in shaping one's interest.
As there is flip side for a coin, there is for a story too. Many products brought to the Deleted: in
market improved the standard of living and saved many lives. They became popular
only due to their rigorous advertising campaigns by the relevant companies. For
example authorities and government agencies were able to eradicate deadly Deleted: are
diseases like measles, chicken pox and polio from the face of the earth because of the
effective and affirmative use of print and digital media. Without the campaign

millions more would have died and this could have caused a global catastrophe. So
there are important and positive things happening by the use of advertising as Deleted: good
mentioned above.
The conclusion is that in my view the print and television advertising are making us
put unnecessary expenditure on useless things and also do us good by showing us
positive aspects too. I agree with both the views.
(274 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task. Presents a clear position throughout the response
and presents, extends and supports main ideas, There may be a tendency to
overgeneralise and supporting ideas may lack focus.

use. Presents a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Uses
less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. May
produce some errors in word choice, spelling and word formation.
Uses a variety of complex structures. Produces frequent error-free sentences. Has

good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors.

Example 2
Haven’t we all been there? After watching some fancy commercial on tv, we went
online and bought the advertised product without even knowing why we needed it.
Although we might not pick up on it anymore, advertisements influence our buying
behaviour more than we might believe it to. This essay will elaborate on why
advertising will trick you into buying things that you do not actually need. Comment [A23]: excellent!
First of all, the marketeers behind the product only have one goal: sell as many of
their products as possible. It is not in their interest whether or not you actually need
the item itself. For example, I recently purchased a juice press that I saw on an online Deleted: in
advertorial where a happy couple used in to create the perfect Sunday morning. I
envisioned myself using it to have the ultimate weekend experience. However, once I
actually got to use it for the first time, it was not long till I realised using it took more
effort than simply walking across the road to buy fresh juice at the grocery store.
Secondly, it is only because of advertisements that we get to hear about new

products and develop the wish of owning them. There are a limited number of items
that one truly needs for his existence; all the others are in a sense unnecessary.
Looking at my own apartment I can identify many items that I do not need for a Deleted: appartment
comfortable life. If it wasn't for some ads, I would have never known about their Deleted: was’nt
existence and therefore would not have bought them.
In conclusion, I believe that the motives that drive the creation of ads as well as the
craving they invoke are reasons why advertising makes us buy things that we could
go without.
(295 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task. The response is well developed with
supported evidence and examples.

Uses a wide range of vocabulary, fluently and flexibly. There is skilful use of some
uncommon words although there are some occasional errors.
Example 3
In the present era, advertisements have undoubtedly created an impact on the public
by altering their perspective about a product or service and accompany them during
buying decisions. Some argue that such medium persuades consumers to purchase
unnecessary items or services; whereas, others argue that adverts are a companion
to them as it enables them to take informed purchase decisions and I completely
adhere to the latter view.
On one hand, advertisements are perceived as an asset while undertaking a buying

decision and consequently play a pivotal role in modern consumerism. Conventional
businesses offered a limited variety of products which required trivial attention when
purchasing a commodity. However, modern businesses believe in offering versatile
products for a product category. For instance, historically only single models were
launched for a mobile phone by a handful of companies and consumers faced no
complications in decision making. However, in the current scenario, a plethora of
choices are available for a particular smartphone manufactured by many companies.

Moreover, not only the versatile choices make decisions tedious but also the features
offered are mostly identical which adds to further complications in finalizing and
hence analyzing an advert makes it easier. Furthermore, previously a customer had to
visit the store physically and review a product’s features; however, current Deleted:
advertisements are framed in such a manner that abundant information is provided
and a customer is not required to visit the stores for the review but to directly
purchase the product.
Deleted: s
On the other hand, few people assume that advertisements may motivate them to
buy unnecessary items which enhances their expenditure. As today’s product variety
has increased exponentially, consumers are tempted to acquire a majority of those
varieties. Perhaps, adverts are made with an intent to incentivize frequent purchases
and major audiences tend to fall in that web. There has been an increasing complaint
on how advertisements are created to instigate a buying decision. To counter,
proponents argue that advertisement broadcasts should be limited in numbers and
confined to those products which fulfill the basic necessities.
In conclusion, albeit there are advocates which opposes the idea of broadcasting
exorbitant adverts to limit the persuasion, I strongly advocate that advertisements
are, and will play, a vital role in constructing an informed decision regarding opting Deleted: is
for a product or service.

(373 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
extended.

communication.

---------- Question 2 ----------
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your
children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Example 1
The world nowadays is built around computers, so we can not live a day without
using them. However, whether children should be allowed to use them or not is a Deleted: childern
debatable topic. I believe that children should be prohibited from using computers to Deleted: childern
protect their privacy and keep them healthy.
Children’s personal data privacy is one important reason to prevent them from using Deleted: Childern’s
computers without an adult around them. The amount of information a child might
publish on social media websites could expose him and his family to dangerous
situations. For instance, several years ago, my ten year old brother had taken an Deleted: s
image of our house’s doorstep showing that we keep the door key hidden under a Deleted: ’s
small nearby tree. He had published this image on Facebook which led thieves to Deleted: theifs
break in and steal from our house when we were at a family trip. In addition to
privacy, there is another serious reason to keep computers away from children.
There are many negative health impacts to letting children use computers. One Deleted: childern
example is computer game addition which was recently listed as a mental disorder by
the world health organization (WHO). Another example is browsing political and
pornographical content on the internet which would severly affect the child’s mental
health, as many recent researches have shown. Apart from this, children need to Deleted:
spend their time playing, socializing, and exercising rather than using computers in Deleted: excersizing
order for them to grow healthy and become useful members to their nations.

To sum up, allowing children to use computers would negatively affect their life, so Deleted: childern
we should not allow for that to happen. (271 words)
Score: 6.0
Detail comments
The candidate addresses all parts of the task, although some may be more
addressed than others.
Presents information with some organisation, but there may be a lack of overall
progression.
Uses a mix of simple and complex structures to convey meaning.
Example 2
Computers have gained popularity among children over the past few decades. While
a majority of people are complaining that using computer excessively may certainly
cause negative effects on the youngsters, others are also debating that using
computers possibly provides unfathomable benefits to our children. In my opinion,
using a computer appropriately will definitely have positive effects on younger Deleted: definetely
generations.
Deleted: are
To begin with, using the computer excessively is being criticized for various reasons.
Firstly, sitting in front of computers for a long period of time is scientifically proven to

have significant damage to children’s eyes. Secondly, our youngsters might possibly
become addicted to computer games, especially online games that surely leads to
their poor performance at schools. And last but not least, a significant amount of
children are using the computer for accessing their social network for hours daily and
they tend to neglect the real life communication with friends and their parents.
Deleted: Inspite
In Spite of its drawbacks, using a computer moderately under appropriate
supervision will definitely bring back a variety of advantages. Parents might assist Deleted: s
their children to use a computer for researching information related to their

assignments. Besides this, there are also a large variety of early age educational
programs on the computer that certainly develop our children’s imagination in various Deleted: s
ways . On top of that, using a computer on daily basis will obviously nurture our
youngsters’ familiarity with computer applications which are surely useful when they Deleted: farmiliarity
are going to work in the future.
Deleted: moderately
In my opinion, using a computer occasionally under parental supervision will
certainly bring back superior benefits. Parents should direct their children how to use
it properly rather than being skeptical.
(196 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.

Example 3
With the technological advancements in recent years, computers are becoming more
and more integrated into today’s society. This increase in adoption means that
people, and youngsters in particular, are being exposed to computers more often.
Some people praise this development, whilst others believe that daily use of a
computer imposes a negative effect on young people. This essay will elaborate on the
latter standpoint.
First of all, using a computer on a daily basis puts a strain on the available time that a
child has; time that cannot be spent on another activity. It is well known that the early Deleted: spend
years of one’s life are a crucial element in the development of social skills and it is of Deleted: of
uttermost importance that these years are spent efficiently. As such, time spent Deleted: spend
behind a computer screen negatively affects a child’s development as this time

cannot be used to develop important social skills through interacting with peers.
Secondly, continuous use of a computer has a direct negative impact on one’s health,
especially during the years of physical development. Research has repeatedly shown
that each new generation has lesser eyesight than the one before. It is believed that
this reduction is caused by looking at a computer screen, since the eyes have to
adjust themselves into an unnatural shape. Avoiding such behavior is particularly
important during the forming years, as this is the time in which an eye will learn its
ultimate shape. Therefore, usage of a computer during the younger years will
negatively impact a child’s health and as such the full remainder of their life.

Both the reduced time that can be spent on crucial elements of growing up and the Deleted: spend
health impact on the eyes, are reasons why daily use of a computer negatively
impacts young children.
(297 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
The candidate sufficiently addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear
position throughout the response.
Sequences information and ideas logically using paragraphs sufficiently and

appropriately.
Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
A variety of complex structures used with frequent error free sentences..

---------- Question 3 ----------
Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Example 1
Undoubtedly, there has been a dramatic modernization in the way an individual

communicates. There have been outrageous technological developments in the field
of communication and with contributions to its modernization like social media Deleted: has contributed
platforms. Subsequently, people argue that letters are insignificant in such a Deleted: letter is
technological era. I totally disagree as letter writing has no replacements currently as Deleted: in current
well as in anticipated developments.
On one hand, it is assumed that the internet mode of conversation efficiently replaces
letters. However, letter conversations hold relevance, especially when they are Deleted: s
formal. For instance, in workplaces, any orders or decisions communicated by senior Deleted: it is
personnel are often addressed through issuing letters. Such written letters would not Deleted: prefers
only act as an official documentation but also serve as reference and proof in the
future. As well as major government organizations in various countries often prefer a
letter for any formal communication to be read instead of emails or other online Comment [A24]: Incept is no longer in
common parlance. Meaning 'to start'
communication. Moreover, letters might not be easily replaced due to the fact that which does not fit here anyway.
Deleted: incepted
this mode has existed for ages and it is culturally difficult to accept and adapt to an
Deleted: is
online mode of communication because people feel letters are more secure and
Deleted: existing since
convenient compared to others.
Deleted: d
On other hand, people of the current generation advocate that the current internet Deleted: s
mode of communication is more feasible. They argue that writing emails or using
social media platforms adds to the flexibility as it is prompt and reliable to
communicate. There is no need to write separate letters for each recipient as it can be

sent to all in one email. Furthermore, there is nil risk of emails getting misplaced or Deleted: letters
damaged during transit from sender to receiver. Nevertheless, the cumbersome

process of writing a letter takes significant time and hence, people prefer to write Deleted: equips
emails at their own convenience.
To conclude, albeit there are prevailing benefits of using the latest technologies for
communication purposes, it is worth noting that letters still and will play a pivotal role
in fulfilling conversational aims. It is fact that communication effectiveness is Deleted: ual
enhanced only if it is secure, official and evidential in nature which is fulfilled through Deleted: d
letter conversations. (345 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task. Presents a clear position throughout the response.
Presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-
generalise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.
Uses a sufficient range or vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
Uses less common lexical items and some awareness of style and collocation.
Uses a variety of complex structures. Produces frequent error free sentences.

Example 2
Deleted: ,
Modern communication methods such as emails and text messages have become
more and more popular nowadays. Although a majority of people believe that letters
are being replaced by such means of communication, others also argue that Deleted: rapidly,
traditional letters still play an important role in the modern world. In my opinion, Deleted: s
writing letters is absolutely necessary at the moment and even in the future.
To begin with, modern communication methods have certainly won over traditional
letters for various reasons. Firstly, such ways of communication are faster and very
convenient, for example, emails can reach multiple recipients halfway around the Deleted: half way
world in less than 30 seconds and the composers just need to send them through
their smart phones and computers. Secondly, emails and text messages eliminate the
travel distance from homes or offices to post offices and back. Thirdly, while an
express letter typically costs around 50 dollars to send from Asia to North America
within 3 days; an email is able do the same job for less 30 seconds at virtually no
cost.
Deleted: its
On the other hand, traditional letters still have their own irreplaceable characteristics. Deleted: irreplacable
Typically, important letters such as business contracts andlegal documents are still Deleted: ts,
preferably sent via post office due to security reasons. Besides, a significant amount
of people, especially senior citizens, are not able to use modern technologies for
communication due to the lack of knowledge. Thus, the need for such means of
communication is obvious.
In conclusion, although a significant number of people have switched to modern

communication methods for various reasons, I strongly believe that writing letters is
still irreplaceable at the moment and for the years to come. Deleted: irreplaceble
(274 words)
Score: 7.0

Detail comments

use.

errors.
Example 3
Deleted: ve
Writing letters has played a huge role in our pattern of communication over the past
years. However, with the introduction of modern technology – which has given rise to
modern communication, one can say that letter writing may no longer be as
necessary or as effective as it used to be in the past. In this essay, I will argue that
while letters helped our communication greatly previously, technology plays an even
greater role in advanced and effective communication.

Many years ago, the concept of letter writing was seen as one of the best forms of
communication. We get the chance to express ourselves in writing to others who
cannot be physically seen. However, this was so because there was no better
medium of communication available to us. A couple of years after, modern
technology was introduced with quite a number of alternative means of Deleted: ,
communication such as telephone, fax machines and mobile phones. with these Deleted: etc
mediums, we are able to communicate more effectively. The amount of time and
energy used in conveying a message has reduced drastically. For example, sending a
letter to someone in the past would take at least 2 to 3 days to get to the other
person. But with the use of phones, we actually get to speak with people in real time
and get immediate responses.
The use of advanced modern technology such as computers and tablets e.g. IPad,
has not only further enhanced the reduction of communication time, but has also Deleted: ve
succeeded in reducing distance between people. These forms of technology have

given us access to the internet which provides a wider range of communication
options with the use of social media. Presently, we are able to video chat with others
using applications like Skype, Instagram, Facebook, Snap chat, Whatsapp and many
more. We no longer just get to speak with people and get immediate responses, we
can actually see them too in real time.
With these above points, we can therefore conclude that modern communication is
not only more effective than letter writing, it also gives a notion that the other person
is present with us, hereby making letter writing highly unnecessary. (358 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments


---------- Question 4 ----------
More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill
vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich
countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the
natural movement of workers around the world.
Example 1
Nowadays when mobility is much easier and affordable, it is very common that
people move between countries to fill vacancies in various occupations. I strongly Deleted: feel
support those who think that this is a natural process; however, I also understand the
other side which argues that this is not good when rich countries are taking over Deleted: reach
resources of poorer one.
A great argument of the latter is that buying skilled professionals, who had been Deleted: G
educated in one country, by another one is not fair practice. It is evident that a more
prosperous country buying specialists from abroad has no contribution to the
education system which trains the demanded specialists. Furthermore, the education
system as a product of a society is an intellectual value of the country which in this Deleted: or
case is easily given away to benefit others. It is hard to resist from an impression that Deleted: easy
poorer countries are letting go one of its valuables which could positively improve its
economical position. As a result rich countries get richer and poorer ones stay poor. Deleted: reach
Deleted: reacher
Nevertheless, stronger arguments seem to be on the other side, which thinks that it is
a natural process to move to better conditions freely. It is obvious that the skilled
professional who had put a lot of hard work into their education, to reach the
professional level, should not be incarcerated by the country where the education
was received. A group of specialists cannot take a responsibility for the country’s
financial situation, which is usually a result of the political decisions of others.

To conclude, I would like to emphasise that, in the modern world, freedom should be
the most important element of human rights and this is why I am arguing for full
freedom of movement regardless of the political or economical situation of any
country. (291 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Logically organises information and ideas; there is a clear progression throughout.
/over-use. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph.
Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy.
Makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede
communication.

Example 2
Highly skilled workers moving from developing to developed countries has become
trendy over the past few decades. While rich nations are being accused of stealing
talent from the poor ones, a significant amount of people believe this trend is Deleted: s
acceptable because such workers are also deserving of a better living environment Deleted: ed
for their family. This essay will discuss why highly skilled workers emigrating to a
richer country is absolutely agreeable.
To begin with, developed nations are accused of stealing talents from the developing
ones for various reasons. Firstly, the poor countries have spent too much on
resources in order to develop such talents but scholarships or generous job offers
from a rich country can easily take them away from their motherland. Secondly, such
offers have made the developing countries continue to suffer from a lack of skillful Deleted: suffering from
workers to develop their new profitable business such as software development and Deleted: ing
Deleted: ,
education. (Never say Etc it is very lazy!)
Deleted: , etc.
Although such people are criticized as materialists, they also have their own reasons
for leaving their homeland. The salary in developed countries could be a minimum of
three times more compared to what they may possibly earn at home. Besides, the Deleted: morel compared
better and even free of charge healthcare and education services for children in these
countries, for example Canada and Denmark, are also very attractive to parents who
are not satisfied with such services in their own countries.
In conclusion, the trend of moving from developing nations to better ones is obvious
since highly skilled workers deserve to have a better place to raise their family. In Deleted: are
order to keep talents, the governments of poor countries need to have attractive Deleted: d
Deleted: grow
policies for human capital rather than accuse the rich countries of stealing their highly
skilled workers. (277 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


use.
Example 3
Deleted: Nowdays
Nowadays, qualified people are moving from developing countries to more developed
countries. This essay agrees with this statement because richer countries have more
job opportunities for specialist careers and have better facilities than poorer
countries.
It takes several years of training and hard work for one to specialize in their field. One
of the main disadvantages of living in an underdeveloped country is the lack of
opportunity in their specialized field. From my personal experience, I am a neuro-
geneticist, a highly selective field. There are currently no jobs available in this area in
my home country, India. Moreover, I am now over qualified for all jobs that involve
either neuroscience or genetics. This causes a lot of disappointment and so the Deleted: of
natural step for me was to move and find work somewhere else. Deleted: s
Deleted: leave

With specialized training comes the knowledge and use of advanced equipment.
Most poor countries are struggling with basic needs such as building roads, providing
electricity, food and water to their people. They often lack the basic infrastructure
required for a trained professional. Another personal example would be, as a
scientist we require 24 hours of electricity for the storage of samples. If a freezer or Deleted: . We
incubator shuts off due to the loss of electricity, we lose years worth of work.
Unfortunately, in my home country electricity is very unreliable and often goes out
without warning. This creates huge problems in all sectors of work, not just research.
All in all, brain drain from developing to developed countries is a natural process
these days. Specialized workers often move around the world to find the best
opportunity for themselves and for their families. (274 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

Example 4
Nowadays, qualified people tend to move to wealthy countries for jobs in specialized
fields such as engineering, computing and medicine. Whereas some people argue
that the rich countries are headhunting skilled candidates by motivating them, others
trust that this is a natural movement of employees across the globe. Although
wealthy countries promote various migration programs to encourage proficient
workers, this essay believes that the workers in non developed countries are looking Deleted: anyway
for better opportunities in wealthy countries anyway, due to the associated benefits. Deleted: associated.
On the one hand, rich countries nowadays are headhunting skilled individuals by
promoting various migration programs. This is because, most of the fast developing
countries are actively looking for skilled individuals to fill out their vacancies
regardless of the country they are coming from. They also provide visa extensions or
new visa categories for specialists in areas like computing, engineering and medicine.
Additionally, they allow qualified individuals to stay long term in their countries as
permanent residents. For example, skilled migration program motivates thousands of
professionals around the world by offering various jobs in specialized areas in
countries like Australia and Canada. However, this essay disagrees with this
viewpoint because regardless of the encouragement which rich countries have to
offer, talented individuals in poor countries deserve for better opportunities as their
talent should not go in waste.
On the other hand, employees in less developed countries are searching for better Deleted: poverty
opportunities in faster developing countries due to various benefits. Most people Deleted: anyway
would like to get a high paying job and live a better life with their loved ones. Mostly Deleted: Everyone
they are concerned about the future of their children. Since people believe that
migrating to rich countries would fulfill all their dreams, workers tend to move to rich
countries naturally. For example, research carried out by the student of Greenwich
university found that 68% of professionals from Asian countries are moving to either
Canada or Australia under full time work permits as soon as they get qualified.
In conclusion, even though some people believe that more developed countries are Deleted: wealthy
stealing skilled individuals by motivating their movement, this essay believes that the
employees in less developed countries continue to move to rich nations due to the Deleted: non
long term benefits associated with the migration. (370 words)

Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task. Presents a well developed response.
Good supporting ideas but could have used some more examples.
Logically sequenced information. Manages all aspects of cohesion well.
Used a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly Skillfully used less common
lexical items.
Wide range of structures. The majority of sentences error free.

---------- Question 5 ----------

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect
on children.
To what extent do you agree?
Example 1
The role of media continues to be important as people spend their time on the
internet. The media tends to expose the life of celebrities because it brings more
attention from people. It could have some positive effects on people. However, I Deleted: s
agree that too much information about celebrities can have possible negative effects Deleted: be
Deleted: be
on young people. I will consider them now on this essay.
Firstly, the media focuses on gossip of personal issues about celebrities. People often Deleted: s
say that this is one of the most harmful attitudes to destroy someone’s privacy
through the media. Children could think this is normal or even it is encouraged as it
gets popular. Furthermore, they can apply this kind of attitude to their classmates for Deleted: s
bullying the few weaker students at school. Finally, parents and teachers should Deleted: class mates
increase the awareness of this negative effect on children. It is good to protect them
from too much watching reality shows on TV or the Internet.
There is a second common negative effect to think about the way to expose
celebrities by media. Many people say that the media controls people’s mind on
spending their money by advertising. Focusing on celebrities luxury expensive
handbags through social media such as Instagram and facebook feeds. Young people Deleted: hand bags
are exposed to the raw pictures without any filters. That causes children to think the Deleted: by
expensive goods are necessary to be like celebrities. Finally, I believe that it is

important the government can make a limit on how much media can be exposed to Deleted: the
the luxurious life style of celebrities.
In conclusion, I believe that media has numerous advantages for learning. However,
we need to raise awareness the effect of media has on children. To make better
environments for children, I think, is required the actions by teachers, parents and Deleted: it
government in many different ways. (296 words)

Score: 6.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task although some could be more fully covered. The
position is relevant although slightly repetitive and sometimes unclear. Some areas
may be undeveloped enough.
Information is arranged clearly and there is clear overall progression. Paragraphs

are relatively easy to understand and generally have a clear central topic although
they may not be logical sometimes.
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. Attempts to use some less
common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy with spelling and word choice.
Spelling mistakes do not cause a problem with understanding.
Uses a mix of simple and complex structures but with more errors on the complex
structures. The mistakes in grammar don’t usually cause a problem with
understanding.
Example 2
News related to celebrities has been excessively circulated over the past few decades
due to its popularity among readers. A significant amount of parents are prominently
criticizing such news saying that it may possibly have negative effects on their
children. This essay will discuss why this idea is absolutely wrong.
To begin with, news related to celebrities is heavily criticized for various reasons.
Firstly, the media is typically fond of covering bad news related to their unaccepted Deleted: s

behaviors such as underage drinking and drug abuse which certainly promotes Deleted: ing
unhealthy lifestyles. Secondly, the tendency of following idols’ lives excessively has Deleted: livestyles
made children and teenagers certainly neglect their homework and outdoor activities Deleted: ing
which probably results in both poor performance at school and increased possibility
of having obesity. Although negative news is heavily circulated because of the Deleted: are
profitability, there are also positive aspects of celebrities’ activities that are absolutely
making our world better.
On the other hand, such news also has its own positive aspects which is considerably
more superior to the consequences. Many movies stars have been working hard in Deleted: s
order to help unfortunate children such as Angelina Jolie who adopted orphans from
various countries. Besides, they are also major charity donors who have generously Deleted: donators
funded various environmentally friendly projects such as reducing the use of Deleted: environental
potentially hazardous plastic bags at supermarkets or promoting eco-friendly

renewable energy sources for daily use.
In conclusion, media coverage of celebrities has both positive and negative aspects.
In my opinion, parents should selectively instruct their children to positive images of
the celebrities rather than being skeptical and heavily criticize its drawbacks. (261
words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.


errors.
Example 3
Undoubtedly, there have been an unprecedented coverage of famous personalities in

the current era. The media is inclined to cover each aspect of a celebrities’ life ranging Deleted: M
from their career to their personal life. However, many argue that this creates an Deleted: incline
adverse impact on children’s mindset and perception and I totally advocate this
statement.
Since there has been growing attention of media towards highlighting stars, a child in
today’s generation cultivates more interest in discovering each information regarding
it. Along with a rousing interest, often children begin to idolize such figures which
could have unfavorable implications. Moreover, it is totally acceptable to broadcast
their struggle during their career, unless they begin highlighting their personal life, Deleted: life
affairs and gossip which is not suitable for a child to know. Children are Deleted: s
inappropriate, in terms of age, to accumulate such insights. This not only leads to a
child getting deviated from its current goal of studies, but also alters their mindset
according to the celebrity it follows. For instance, a child would incept idolizing and
following a star blindly which would have a distraction to their study life as the child
will be passionate to earn fame and fortune like his/her followed celebrity. Deleted: a
Certainly, there is an added devastation when the media showcases a star’s unsocial
habits and instances, such as smoking a cigar or drugs as well as their character in
terms of arrogance and so forth. This will incentivize a child to imitate his/her

behavior. Consider a male celebrity who is tagged as a chain smoker by the media
and if a child follows that star, then there is a possibility that a child follower would
start smoking like that star which would be exponentially dangerous towards his Deleted: a
health deterioration and aggressive social behavior.

Deleted: media person
To conclude, it is a necessity for a journalist to recognize the disadvantageous impact
of highlighting wasteful information which is unsuitable for an age of children. The
media should broadcast the struggle of a superstar and showcase motivational Deleted: M
insights which will provide valuable insights and lessons to children rather than
covering issues related to their personal life and behavior. (341 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task.
Presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and

supported ideas.

Produces frequent error free sentences.

---------- Question 6 ----------
Write about the following topic:
Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest
medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too
expensive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
‘Health is wealth’. We have heard this proverb since our childhood. In today’s world a
person has to plan his expenses not only for basic food, clothing and shelter but also Deleted: the
health. Medical expenses seem to have risen considerably across the globe. It is high
time that each country comes up with a plan to provide free health service to its
citizens.
Free health service should include basic medical check-ups and its treatment cost. It
is debatable as to what gets classified as basic and what comes under advanced.
We can refer to cases where such programs have benefitted people immensely. I feel
such services would help developing the country in a long run. Primarily, it would
help a higher number of people to be provided with medical facilities and not worry Deleted: more
about the costs involved. It would develop health awareness among poor people. Deleted: will
Moreover highly populated countries will receive benefit from such services as it Deleted: the
Deleted: get
would reduce the troubles and trauma of the majority of their people who succumb to
Deleted: ted
injuries or sickness.
Deleted: known commonly
I had one experience in a medical camp where people from various villages had
gathered for a free eye check-up and treatment. It enlightened me that many people Deleted: how
in this world may not be getting the basic medical help just because of their inability

to afford the costs involved. For cases where the costs involved are high, there can be
measures taken to subsidize the rates and make those treatments affordable.
Each country, if it agrees to a free health service, would have a better life and the Deleted: people will
degree of happiness around the world for its people and would eventually make the Deleted: will
world a healthier planet. (278 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


Example 2

One of the major concerns of any person, nowadays, is to find a decent healthcare Deleted: quastion
service which supports them against any ailments. But the question is should all
governments plan for a free of charge (FOC) healthcare service? Also, is it possible to Deleted: inovative
exclude the costly treatments, in which the recent innovatived medical solutions have
been implemented, from this service?
To begin with the first question, I would say that there are many successful models of
free public healthcare throughout the world, such as in Canada, Germany, and other
european countries, where a patient can receive a wide-range of medical services for
free. Therefore, in my view, the FOC healthcare should be accessible for all people
under the condition that people pay a reasonable portion of their annual income to
support the government to establish a reliable healthcare system.
Deleted: that
On the other hand, to exclude a part of the service, which is costly, can not be a good
idea. In fact, emerging new technologies in medical science and biomedical
engineering has reduced the cost of many treatments. What is more, if some of the
medical services are being eliminated from a healthcare service because of their Deleted: (
costs, people would be enforced to pay a hefty deal of money to purchase the Deleted: )
insurance policies which are covering those treatments. In other words, this creates a
loop which contradicts with the concept of accessing free healthcare, and
consequently, could not be an effective solution in the long run. Deleted: conseduently
As a whole, I would agree that everybody, who pays the government for healthcare,
should have full access to it. However, the offered services ought to cover any
methods of treatments no matter under what circumstances are the patients and
how much the treatment would cost. (307 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task.
Presents a clear position throughout the response.

Uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
Uses a wide range of structures. The majority of sentences are error-free.
Example 3
These days, free health care should be prioritized in all countries. Housing latest
medical equipment and providing quality treatment should be the primary aim for all
regions. This essay will completely agree and state that basic medical assistance
should be every individuals’ right.
Firstly, health is the most important aspect of life. For instance, people are happier if
they are healthier, and to remain fit better medical facilities are required. Although
this might seem difficult, many countries have indulged in providing free medical care
in most of the government hospitals and community clinics. For-example, Saudi
Arabia provides best medical treatment to all their citizens absolutely free of charge. Deleted: cost
Moreover, countries like Canada also provide free medical consultations for residents
and citizens. Hence, more and more countries are following measures to improve
their hospital standards. Deleted: ity

Secondly, the nations’ objective should be to reduce the cost of drugs and medical
supplies. Because of high expenses and running costs involved, countries are falling Deleted: lacking
behind in providing basic facilities to rural areas. In addition to cost, availability of

qualified staff to dispense drugs should be allocated. However, this might seem
simple and easy, there are several challenges like transportation of drugs and medical
supplies to distant areas. Having said that, the benefits outweigh the challenges
when it comes to the nations’ health.
In conclusion, countries should be aiming to construct and promote basic medical

institutions to deliver medical advice for free. Although it results in higher
expenditure, financial budgeting can be an option for governments. In my opinion,
countries are obliged to facilitate everyone to have a healthier life and to achieve
success for the nation. (271 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments

Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Presents a clear central topic to
each paragraph.



---------- Question 7 ----------
Write about the following topics:
Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy
and prevent them from socialising with others.
Example 1
Owing to the constant development of the television set and its running programmes,
some people have stated that it occupies all of people’s leisure-time which can cause
people to be slothful and hinder them from socialising with others. However, while I
believe that television has its positive aspects, I strongly agree with the above
statement.
To begin with, a positive impact of television is individuals being able to have more
gratifying free-time by indulging in interesting TV shows. For instance, the availability Deleted: .
of multiple genres of programmes on the television such as sci-fi, romance and thriller
gives people options to choose something they actually enjoy. Another positive
impact is faster communication of important news to people. News channels can
easily pass worldwide information, which brings about knowledge expansion.
In spite of the advantages, let us take a look at why I agree with the aforementioned
disadvantages. Television causing laziness and deterring people from interacting
with others during their free-time can be detrimental to both individuals and the
society as a whole. For example, some people binge-watch their favourite shows for
hours or days without carrying out other activities like eating well, bathing and
brushing their teeth, which are all necessary for good personal hygiene. This can
cause health problems for them. Also, the fact that it hinders people from socialising
means that it negatively affects forming or maintaining close and supportive
relationships which consequently, will affect the society as a whole as it will become
disjointed.

To sum these up, we can see that in as much as television has its positive sides as it
can be pleasurable and educative, there can also be negative impacts on individuals
and the society. Therefore, people should manage their free-time well and make
room for other important aspects of their lives. (297 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than
others.
Presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or

repetitive.
Presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear.
use.
Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph.

Example 2
The popularity of television is increasing day by day amongst the people. With so
many content to watch, people have started investing a lot of their time in front of
television. This article uncovers the impact of spending long hours watching
television.
Spending too much time in front of television has caused people to become lazy. And Deleted: ve
since people waste most of their time indoors watching television, they hardly get Deleted: in
involved in socialising with others. This has caused an adverse effect in the society. In
the past there was no or limited scope for television and as such people used to
spend most of their time doing outdoor physical activities. As such, people then were
more active and fit. They used to have a lot of interaction with others andd society as Deleted: . An
a whole was more connected, alive, helpful and active. Today with the advancement Deleted: ing
in communication and related technologies, television has become more

approachable and cheaper. With the coming of new players like Netflix and Amazon,
people are able to watch international content too and all these factors have
produced a magnetic effect amongst the people to remain seated in their couch. It's
not just adult who are affected by this, we see children not willing to go out for Deleted: e
playing.
Television is a great source of information, but current the generation is too involved
with this master technology. And we know an excess of everything is not good. As Deleted: ane verything excess
such an excess watching of television has made people more prone to diseases
owing to long sitting hours. People not willing to go out has caused people to remain
confined within their comfort zone. We hardly know who our neighbours are, what is
happening around our locality. We are slowly and slowly forgetting the joy of
happiness that comes when we cheer up with people. We need to realise where we Deleted: are
are going with this trend, or else it will be too late.
(320 words)

Score: 7.5
Detail comments


Example 3
Television has unquestionably become one of the most popular types of family
entertainment since it was invented. While a significant amount of people suggest
that television is indispensable in terms of entertainment, retrieving information and
education; others criticize its drawbacks due to the increase of laziness and the lack
of socializing of the couch potatoes. This essay will argue why the benefits of Deleted: from
watching TV are superior to its other potentially negative consequences.
To begin with, watching TV is criticized for various reasons. Firstly, numerous people Deleted: because of
have been spending hours on TV shows that are addictive and time consuming.
Secondly, children nowadays prefer watching cartoons and playing video games on
TV rather than having fun with their parents and friends. And last but not least, a
significant number of parents often allow their kids to watch TV excessively in order

to have their own private times. These factors may possibly reduce pleasurable family Deleted: s
communication and obviously hold them back from participating in other activities.
On the contrary, watching TV moderately certainly offers superior benefits for various Deleted: is
circumstances. First of all, children’s educational programs absolutely nurture the Deleted: ing
Deleted: in
youngsters’ imagination and broaden their knowledge. Besides, adults could also find
rewards in terms of updating daily news, reality shows similar to their career, and so Deleted: its
on. In addition, an hour of watching family programs on a daily basis is not only
pleasurable but it also encourages communication between the members. Moreover,
parents might possibly have opportunities to motivate their kids to roll up their
sleeves and start helping with running errands apart from a family’s daily TV
schedule.
In conclusion, watching TV excessively may possibly make people lazy and reduce
socializing opportunities. However, if people are able to keep themselves on an
appropriate daily schedule, watching TV will certainly bring back far more superior
benefits compared to its disadvantages. (302 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

each paragraph.


Problems and Solutions

---------- Question 1 ----------
Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think this is happening?
What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?
Example 1
The large production of rubbish is increasing exponentially. This is because the

number of products made have increased over time and more people over the world
are using them. People need to find a way to reuse these products. Governments can Deleted: Goverments
help find a way to lessen the quantity of rubbish produced by encouraging

businesses to reuse their products.
Deleted: variety
There are so many varieties of products in the world now, where we as individuals
need to think of how to reduce the amount of rubbish produced and consider reusing
the product. An example that comes to mind, is for those who use coffee machines Deleted: are
with capsules. There is an efficient way to reduce the amount of capsules thrown
away. This can be done by purchasing a reusable capsule, which can be refilled with
the preferred brand of coffee and reused for every serving. This eliminates the Deleted: preffered
increase of capsules in the trash. Similar to this, batteries is another common item
that can be reused. Since disposable batteries can always be tricky, it is a great idea Deleted: disposing
to use rechargeable batteries on a regular basis rather than buying new ones.
Deleted: Goverments
Governments can enforce the reuse of items for businesses as a mandatory Deleted: business
regulation. This can be done in a number of ways. One of which, is asking all

supermarkets to promote that the customers should bring their own bags when
buying groceries. Supermarket owners can add a price to their plastic bags, so that
the act of reusing bags slowly gets instilled into the customer for their next visit.
Another example of this, is when customers are placing a takeaway order. The Deleted: takeway
baristas at the coffee shops should ask their customers to bring their own cups
instead of providing them with paper cups.
In conclusion, there are a number of items that we can recycle and help with for the
reduction in rubbish. The government can set regulations in place for businesses, so
that their customers can reuse materials and aid in the decrease of rubbish.
(333 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Uses paragraphing, but not always logically.

Example 2
The amount of waste created by us as a species has been growing at an exponential

rate. There are many factors at play, both on an individual level and on a global scale.
Let us look at some of the factors influencing the rise in waste output that has
contributed to the problem.
The first key reason is that waste is the result of any production procedure, be it man
made, or natural. All living things give off some kind of waste product as a part of
biological processes, and the same can be noted when we look at it from a man made
perspective. In the effort to make something, there will be waste associated. The
recent spike in waste output is correlated to the increase in overall production we as
a society have been able to achieve. Human beings have increased their output
immensely since the industrial revolution, and this only continues to grow, given the
advancements in technology and the increase in demand.
This leads me to the second factor, human beings in general. The human population
has skyrocketed since the 1950s and keeps growing every day. There are now
approximately 7 billion people on the planet, and as a result, we need more items
produced for us, and further use items and throw them out when finished as a result.
A key example of this is highly populated countries, like India, where there are over 1
billion people, and as a result have a huge waste problem. You can see many beaches
and countrysides littered with thrash as a result of there being too many people
throwing out their waste. When you factor this with less populated countries such as
Iceland, you notice a stark difference in the amount of waste overall.
So, how can we attempt to resolve g this? Well for starters, we can stop wasting so Deleted: at resolvin
much by reusing a lot of the products we throw out. Many products were designed

as single use products, like for example coffee maker pods and straws. Many people
have started using reusable straws that are made of metal and avoid purchasing
coffee machines that use these pods, with some countries taking it even further and
outright banning single-use plastics. This shift from single-use to reusable is key in
combating the amount of waste created.
Another method to help reduce the amount of waste is to incentivise companies to

reduce their waste output as well. This can be done by either fining companies that
excessively create rubbish, or offering tax breaks for becoming more efficient and
lowering their overall waste output. This has already worked in the past, where the
European Union had implemented strict laws on the waste output of companies, and
heavily fined those that did not comply. The result was a much lower level of rubbish
created on an industrial scale, as companies were forced to adopt cleaner more
efficient processes.
In sum, the waste problem is one that continues to be an issue, which can only be
resolved by adopting a different approach to how we continue to use products, and
how our individual and collective wasting habits affect our planet. (527 words)
Score: 9.0
Detail comments
Fully addresses all parts of the task.
Presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully
extended and well supported ideas.
use.

Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of
lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as slips.
Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors
occur only as slips.
Example 3
Waste production and management has been a cause of concern globally. There has
been a phenomenal increase in producing rubbish in recent times. This essay will
discuss the reasons for the abnormal increase in waste production and the measures
that governments can adopt to control this. Deleted: control the same.
An Increase in population and industrialisation can be regarded as the main reasons

for the increase rubbish production. Due to the burgeoning population globally there
has been an increase in the amount of garbage that is produced by each household,
thus contributing to rise in waste production.
While increased industrialisation has enabled the global economy to develop, this has
led to large amounts of industrial waste production which has increased total waste Deleted: a
production. Research conducted by many organisations has stated that overall level
of waste production has grown nearly tenfold since the beginning of this century and
is due to the increase in populace and industries. In short, population explosion and
industrialisation can be regarded as the key conspirators for the increase in rubbish
produced.
Because of the negative environmental consequences of waste, governments across

all countries need to formulate waste management strategies which should be part of
the national policies. Policies should include mandate of using only biodegradable
containers and consumers so that the waste can be recycled effectively. Punitive
measures should be implemented for individuals or establishments which do not
comply with the waste management policies namely cleanliness tax. It has been

observed in many journals that countries which have deployed such measures have
been able to significantly reduce waste production and move towards a better
environment. Overall, governments waste management tactics and policies will lead
to reduction in rubbish production.
In conclusion, this essay discussed the various reasons why the amount of rubbish Deleted: the
has seen an upward trajectory including population increase and industrialisation. In

addition, this essay also discussed the different methods which the government can
adopt to reduce waste production. (322 words)
Score: 9.0
Detail comments
Fully satisfies all the requirements of the task clearly presents a fully developed
response
Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention skilfully manages

paragraphing
Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of
lexical features
Uses a wide range of structures and rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’

---------- Question 2 ----------
In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on
TV. What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
Example 1
All around the globe, the younger generations' interest in keeping up to date with the
news has been slowly decreasing over the years. One of the main reasons of this
decline is their lack of interest caused by the boom of social media. To improve this
situation, news should be reported in a shorter and more concise manner.
Young people raised in the Information Age have grown up sharing information
through social media, instantly and selectively. In contrast, current news articles
dictate the amount of information you are supposed to read at a time and tv news
shows set the pace at which information is transmitted. This has been traditionally
aimed towards adults, and so its length set accordingly to someone already
interested in the topics being discussed. Consequently, youngsters have lost interest
in this means of information exchange because it requires them to spend more time
than they would like on a subject that is not as interesting to them.
To attract the younger audiences, news reporting should be made shorter and more
precise. It is important to express ideas in fewer words, so that there is less of a
chance of people losing interest. In addition, having to spend less time reading some Deleted: pople
informative article will result in it being more likely chosen over other kinds of reading
materials, such as magazines. A clear example of this is some European countries

which have begun to segment their newspapers into multiple sections. Short and
important news are prioritized while leaving longer articles as an additional purchase.
In conclusion, youngsters have become disinterested in traditional news reporting

methods because they have grown accustomed to the fast exchange of information
through social networks. Both newspapers and news tv programmes need to adapt
to this scheme to once again capture their interest. (300 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

Example 2
Undoubtedly, the current generation is reluctant towards updating their knowledge
through the news either by reading newspapers or watching on TV. Conventionally,
people were habitual to update their current affairs solely through the news; Deleted: ,
however, this habit has dramatically reduced or vanished in current young adults.
There are several drivers behind this shift as well as few suggested remedies to it. Deleted: remedy
Firstly, the lifestyle of today’s generation has seen a notable alteration. In the past
decade, youths’ lifestyle was so simplistic that they organized their daily schedule
with ease and hence, they spared considerable time for the news. The young adults Deleted: behind
of that era had an inherent habit of beginning their mornings with a newspaper, and
such dedicated time led them to gain abundant knowledge. Contradictorily, youths
currently neither feel the significance of updating themselves to current affairs nor Deleted: s
their educational or workplace settings mandate them to do so. Due to changes in Deleted: s
socialization, as well as less enforcement of external surroundings on incentivizing

them to read news frequently, they have detached from this learning. Deleted: caused them to
Secondly, the technological advancement has also played a pivotal role. Albeit these
developments are positive to some degree, but has downside implications in this
case. Contemporary adults contribute massive time behind the usage of gadgets and
their whole lifestyle, irrespective of their work or personal life, has become dependent Deleted: depended
on technology. They spend their maximum time behind work and their remaining
leisure time is contributed towards the usage of technologies. Deleted: is left
Thus, there are several recommendable steps to change this mindset. Primarily, this
nature should be developed from an early age and so schools and universities should Deleted: since
promote frequent reading of current affairs ongoing for each student. This will not
only increase the number of news readers but also develop a sense regarding the
significance of this habit. Moreover, as the current generation is surrounded by
technology, various news companies have updated their method of delivering the
news by incorporating app based news which can be accessed through any gadget
like smartphones or tablets. Deleted: a

To conclude, it is critical to have updates through the news, especially in the era
wherein current developments occur at an unprecedented pace. Whilst reading the
news is beneficial to oneself, it also has an upside impact to related elements such as
schools, universities or workplaces. (368 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Fully addresses all parts of the task.
Presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully
extended and well supported ideas.
Uses a wide range of structures. The majority of sentences are error-free.

Example 3
Although newspapers and television (TV) are the most accessible ways to broadcast
news, these channels tend to have a low appeal to young adults. The cause of low
interest, generally, can be attributed to the way the news is delivered either in written
form or presented on visuals. In this essay, the cause of low interest of news by
young adults, and how it can be solved will be discussed.
There is a myriad of reasons why young people are maybe disinterested with news.
First and foremost, young people follow interesting stories, yet most news in
newspapers is written to a diverse audience, from young to old. This means language Deleted: are
used must be able to be read by all ages, which compromises the interest. For
example, newspapers use formal language, which may be difficult to read. While it
may be good to old people who over the years have acquired advanced vocabulary,
this may be a challenge to young people. Furthermore, news on TV takes a long time Deleted: longtime
being presented. Although the content may be diverse, the time they take to present
is considered to be long by young adults.
Considering the low interest by young adults, the delivery of news has to be Deleted: ve
tweaked. Instead of having long presenting times of news on television, captivating

news headlines with well thought use of video will improve interest. In addition, the
written media can use simple English, and the stories must be short and precise.
Having channels particularly targeting young people, where they have the same
news toned down to their level, will also help.
Since low interest in news by young adults is prevalent, attempting to change how
the news is delivered both on TV and written media will help to increase to interest.
Presenting times can be shortened, written news can be simplified using simple
English, or even having dedicated channels or newspapers that report news at their
level, are all possible solutions for this problem. (325 words)
Score: 9.0

Detail comments
Fully developed response which can’t be reasonably improved.
Fully coherent and cohesive.
Lexical Resource fully appropriate at that of a native speaker level.
Negligible grammar mistakes only seen by native speakers.

---------- Question 3 ----------
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only
to the environment, but population and education as well.
What problems will your country face in the next ten years?
How can these problems be overcome?
Example 1
The next few decades will witness several alarming challenges such as
overpopulation, environmental dangers as well as low quality education in many
countries around the world. This is especially true for my country Egypt as a prime Deleted: ,
example of a developing country, which could possibly struggle with such critical
challenges.
Since the beginning of the 21st century, Egypt has been overwhelmingly suffering
from three substantial problems that remarkably hinder its economic growth which
are anticipated to worsen in the near future. Firstly, our nation is deeply concerned
about how climate change will affect our country and consequently our lives. Deleted: the
Although global warming, for example, is not that tangible thus far in Egypt, it is Deleted: would
obvious that at some time it would impose a real threat on our coastal cities that
might possibly be submerged with the increase of oceans levels. Secondly, the
population is expected to grow by 25% in the next couple of decades exceeding 125
million. As a consequence, not only would that surely weaken our economy, but Deleted: that
would, perhaps, also negatively impact all the governmental services provided; for Deleted: s
example, health care, infrastructure as well as education quality. Deleted: provides

Therefore, given all these threatening challenges, practical and well-studied solutions
would be warranted to guarantee building a strong and developed nation; such as Deleted: legisaltions
harsh and stringent legislations ought to be imposed to halt the use of harmful
synthetic pesticides which are widely used across the country in agriculture.
Moreover, having realized the negative impacts of overpopulation, public campaigns
should be launched to increase awareness about the benefits of birth control on
improving the qualities of educational and health services.
To conclude, I would contend that the future would probably hide more and more
challenges for us, thus concerted efforts and collaborative initiatives are required to
know precisely how to combat such devastating potential issues with proper
planning along with conscious and prompt execution in order to enjoy our future life.
(317 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
use.

Example 2
While saving nature stays one of the vital problems for the nations, there are more
difficulties to come in the nearest future in various sectors, such as education and
social areas. The Ukrainian government will have to deal with several issues within
the upcoming years. However, there are ways to resolve them.
To start with, I would like to point out the problem our country has been facing
already, and it is expected to become worse in the future. Ukraine has inherited the
Soviet Union education system with all its advantages and drawbacks. Despite the
fact it was considered one of the best in the world a few decades ago, it is obsolete
and does not satisfy the requirements of nowadays. Based on the recent study
conducted by the Ukrainian Institute of Sociology, over 80% of graduates work in the
fields not related to their majors. As a result, they have poorer prospects and lower
earnings than their peers who have a better fit of their knowledge and skills to their
jobs. This problem can be overcome by putting in a live comprehensive educational
reform which has to be based on the experience of the developed countries.
Another urgent problem is negative population growth. The Ukrainian bureau of

statistics predicts that by 2025 the number of citizens will decrease by one-third due
to the low birth rate and increasing migration. The key reasons are poor standards of
living and economic instability. Unfortunately, there is no simple solution to address
the issue. The government has to develop an in-depth plan for improving the

economy of the Ukraine. Additionally, families with newborns have to be supported

financially.
To conclude, in order for our country to be able to manage the upcoming problems, it
has, first of all, to create conditions for economic growth. Secondly, education reform
is a necessity and has to be implemented as soon as possible. And, last but not least,
motivate families to have more children in order to ensure population growth. (327
words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task.
Presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and

supported ideas.
/over-use.

The majority of sentences are error-free.
Example 3
From the news and social media around the world, it is quite evident that humans are
struggling to identify and solve the irrefutable problems of the environment and the
population as a whole. The magnanimity of the issues varies from country to country Deleted: y
based on several factors like their development,population, geography and so on.

This essay will focus on the problems likely to occur in the next ten years in India and
throw some light on the favorable solutions.
India as a country, is now a name on the global economic spotlight for it's rapid
growth and promising future. However, corruption has been an onerous issue for us
to deal with since independence, which is still seeping into our current generations. Deleted: further
The greed amongst people to earn more than what they are paid, in order to stay
ahead financially, impacts every single building block of a country, such as healthcare,
education, farming and employment. In addition, environmental degradation is a
silent killer that will consume most of our fertile lands and healthy population.
Stricter law enforcement and protection of the truth is the need of the hour, in order
to curb corruption. For instance, currently, any civilian is aware that they need to
succumb to the pressure and bribe officials in order to gain a service in return.
Effective grievance redressal channels that support the truth need to be existent for
this attitude to recede amongst the minds of people. In case of the degrading Deleted: ess
ecosystem, practical and effective methods to live our daily lives without plastic and Deleted: eco-system
efficient waste management systems need to be implemented. For example, the ban
on single-use plastics in many states in India is still not taken seriously. The waste
disposal methods and their recycling or degradation is continuing to be a hindrance.
Educating people on alternatives to polythenes in daily life like metal straws, cloth
napkins and diapers, cloth bags are an efficient first step towards a plastic-free
world.

In conclusion, every country will be posed with a different threat in the next ten years Deleted: for
that needs to be overcome in order to achieve sustainability. The government that

includes it's people in making decisions and ensures successful implementation is
one that has a promising foresight. (372 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Example 4
The rapid development of technology has caused many problems for the whole
world. It is foreseeable that in the next few decades, every country in the world will
be facing significant challenges in aspects of the environment, population and

education. This essay will discuss the issues faced by my home country China in the
next ten years and propose some possible solutions.
The major problems that are going to impact China in the next decade would be air
pollution, population expansion and unbalanced education resources. The air quality
in China has been deteriorating due to industrialization. For example, the city of Deleted: ed
Beijing is masked with heavy fog for a minimum of 135 days a year over the past 15 Deleted: the
years. Another problem that will continue to bothering China is the population
expansion. The country has about 14 billion people and this number will be
increasing for the next 20 to 30 years. The large population has put a lot pressure on
the environment and the resources. In addition to the above, the unbalance education
resource is also a concern. As more people move from villages to cities, students in
rural areas have to share one teacher with many others, which lags them behind
those in developed areas.
How to resolve above issues? There are three things we can definitely do to reduce
the impact of these problems. For one, encourage the general public to plant more
trees. As is commonly known, trees can help improve the earth quality, refresh the air
and keep underground water from drying out. This method has proven to be Deleted: the
effective in Japan so there is no reason that it would not work for China. For two, Deleted: m getting
keep implementing birth control policies. Although being criticized by many nations
as violating human rights, the one child policy has reduced the birth rate of China
from 4.5 per person to 0.65 per person over 15 years. Last but not least, increase
funding to the education system in rural areas. With better facilities and decent
salary, more teachers will be attracted to work in regional places.
In conclusion, China will not be the only country in the world that is facing issues as
such. The solutions mentioned in this essay should be considered by every nation to
make the world a better place. (385 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments


---------- Question 4 ----------
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious

problem for wealthy countries.
Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and
include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Example 1
The obesity rate among the young generation is becoming increasingly prominent Deleted: O
and alarming, especially in the wealthy countries. This is considered a serious matter
due to the fatal health problems which are caused by being overweight. This essay
will discuss the reasons why this is happening and the issues resulting from this
phenomenon.
A recent study, which was conducted by the University of Chicago, showed that the
less you move the more you are at risk of being overweight. According to this study,
physical activities are the main source to burn fat. Therefore, the lack of physical
activity leads to a low fat metabolism rate and causes an accumulation of it in our
body. This is the major cause of obesity in wealthy countries as the children in those
countries spend most of their time playing games on computers and television. While
their peers in poor countries who do not have the luxury of owning those devices,
tend to play games which involve body movements such as soccer and basketball.
There are several serious health problems related to being overweight like diabetes Deleted: :
mellitus, hypertension, stroke, heart failure and early death syndrome. As a result of Deleted: D
Deleted: H
that, the life expectancy in the wealthy countries is expected to fall dramatically over
the next few decades. There are studies being performed on a global level to discover Deleted: preformed
solutions and to save children.
In conclusion, the obesity level is increasing in the rich side of the world and it is
causing several fatal issues which are threatening to societies. The result of this Deleted: threating

phenomenon may not be evident now, but the studies indicate that the Deleted: evidence
consequences of this will appear in the near future. (272 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

Example 2
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious

problem for wealthy countries.
Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and
include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Obesity has become a recognized epidemic during the past few decades in
developed nations such as USA. Although the media keeps circulating the danger of
this disease, the number of obese children is still rising dramatically. Thus, this essay Deleted: , however
will discuss the cause of this epidemic and its potential consequences. Deleted: concequences
Deleted: ity
To begin with, children in developed countries may become obese for various
reasons. Firstly, obesity is surely rooted in their source of food and drinks. For
example, the youngsters living in the USA, the country that has most obesiy cases in Deleted: ies
the world currently, consumes more fast food than any other place in the world. As a Deleted: of
Deleted: ties
result, the high content of sugar in the soft drinks and the fat from deep-fried food
Deleted: s
served at such restaurants are potentially making the children gain weight in such
Deleted: ain
short amount of time. Secondly, many families in wealthy countries do not have time Deleted: serveding at
for an active lifestyle nowadays. A large amount of parents are having to work two Deleted: e
jobs in order to pay for the mortgages and living expenditure so they just let their kids Deleted: ammount
sta at home, ea what they want, and possibly watch TV rather than taking them Deleted: ammount
Deleted: morgates
outside to burn the excess calories from outdoor activities. And last but not least,
Deleted: ying
eating disorder behavior from watching TV also has considerable responsibility for
Deleted: ting
overweight issues. Many children nowadays are sitting in front of the TV with a bag
Deleted: hing
of crisps and a can of soda for hours since their parents are too busy with their Deleted: is
business. Deleted: considerably
Deleted: responsiilityble
On the other hand, the consequences of this disease have cost these countries Deleted: concequences
severely in terms of both economy and society. Economically, governments have to Deleted: severly
spend much more on health care for such types of children since they surely have Deleted: al
higher probability of having a stroke or diabetes which are very expensive to treat. Deleted: f getting
Besides, an overweight labour force will absolutely lower the performance and
productivity in various industries. In terms of society, in case a member of a family Deleted: soietycial
has health issues due to obesity, that family might have to withdraw one person from Deleted: aving

their labour force in order to take care of the patient. As a result, their income is
significantly decreased and possibly leads to poverty and other potential problems. Deleted: decease
Deleted: in the unhealthy

In conclusion, obesity is an epidemic rooted in unhealthy daily lifestyles. Modern
families should be aware of it before the consequences affect their lives negatively. Deleted: concequences
(442 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments
The candidate uses some less common lexical items with some awareness of style
and collocation.
There may be some occasional errors in word choice or spelling.
errors.

Example 3
Deleted: overweighed
It’s an alarming fact that in many developed countries the number of overweight
children has been increasing for the past few decades. This draws more and more
attention as the problem is getting serious and it’s impacting the both the individual
and the society.
One of the two major causes of this issue is the diet. With the development of
modern society, fast food is becoming a part of children’s daily food source. In
addition, some fast food chain restaurants are even the favorite places the children
want to eat at. It’s scary because fast food normally contains very little nutrition and
instead it uses an excessive amount of unhealthy ingredients in the preparing
process. As a result, children who consume fast food on a regular basis tend to
become overweight.
The second cause of children being overweight is the lack of exercise and outdoor
activities. On one hand, there are too many attractions such as cell phone, internet, Deleted: much
and video games that keep children inactive and away from being outside. On the
other hand, school works are becoming a burden of children and the competition at
school can be intense sometimes. Consequently, children have lesser time to play
outside and engage in sports. The lack of exercising is directly leading to children
gaining weight faster than normal.
The effects of this phenomenon is significant at both the individual and society levels.
For a child who is overweight, he/she lives an unhealthy life and that will likely
prevent him/her from engaging in physical activities and sports. What’s even worse it
that he/she may feel unconfident when socializing with other children. Thus, the
development of him/her may be incomplete and there might be a risk of having
mental health issues. For the society, the medical cost of health problems associated
with being overweight can be heavy. The overspending on healthcare will eventually
be shared by all of the taxpayers. Deleted: tax payers
Deleted: d
In conclusion, unhealthy diet and lack of exercise are the two major causes of children
becoming overweight. This issue is impacting both the individual and the society in a
negative way. (349 words)

Score: 8.0
Detail comments
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - Uses a wide range of structures. The majority
of sentences are error-free. Makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.

Direct questions
---------- Question 1 ----------
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialised

knowledge of the following topic:
Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines.
Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common
diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their
children?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your
arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Example 1
These days by using vaccines a variety of infections and common diseases among
children can be prevented. In my opinion, I consider that government ought to make Comment [A25]: the government
parents immunize their children because it would help the parents to raise healthier
children.
Comment [A26]: implement/introduce
a law
A good reason to frame law to immunize the children is that vaccination makes
children less prone to diseases. In other words, children in their early stages of life are
more vulnerable to a lot of communicable diseases. So by having a law in place, the Comment [A27]: 'So' is a bit informal.
Use 'Consequently'
parents will be able to apply themselves to provide essential immunization for their
children. A research article for instance, states that around 40 percentage of children
age lesser than six are affected by life threating diseases due to lack of proper Comment [A28]: aged
Comment [A29]: less
vaccination. Through this law parents should, therefore be able to provide vital
Comment [A30]: life-threatening
vaccines to their children.
Another good reason to make this immunization process a law is that this will help to
build a sound and healthy future generation. Furthermore, this rule of government
will largely aid in spreading children’s health awareness among the society especially Comment [A31]: within society
among the people from poor background. Moreover, by this rule a large proportion of Comment [A32]: a poor

people will be educated on the importance of children’s vaccination and how it

affects the health of children.
Comment [A33]: introducing
In conclusion, in my opinion I think that by framing a law to make immunization
necessary, children will be protected from various diseases and a large percentage of
the population will learn the significance of children’s health. (253 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
The conclusion is clear and the answer is relevant and complete. Some arguments
are put forward, but there is a tendency to be repetitive and generalise the
arguments. Supporting evidence is rather vague.
The answer is well organised with good use of paragraphs. Linking devices are
used well throughout.
A good range of vocabulary is used both accurately and appropriately. There is

some evidence of collocation and style but also, some mistakes in these areas. In
some cases, word choice is incorrect but this does not impede understanding.
The majority of sentences are complex and a wide range of structures is used
throughout. Many of the sentences are error-free. There are some mistakes with
articles.

Example 2
The development in vaccination has been preventing childhood diseases over the Deleted: the
past few decades. Although a majority of parents vaccinate their children on a

voluntary basis, the others also recommend the governments to enforce the law that
obliges parents to immunise their babies. In my opinion, such a law is absolutely
unnecessary.
To begin with, a large amount of parents refuse to immunise their kids for various
reasons. Firstly, in some developing countries, some experimental vaccines such as
Quinvaxem also cause side effects which are lethal to the babies after immunisation.
Secondly, the more reliable vaccines for the same symptoms such as Pentaxim are
relatively expensive and are regularly out of stock in some countries. Thirdly, families Deleted: s
who are living in remote locations also find difficulties in getting vaccines for their
kids.
On the other hand, parents should absolutely have the right to protect their children Deleted: s
under any circumstances. Take Vietnam for example, a significant proportion of

wealthy parents have spent a large amount of money to take their children to Deleted: ammount
Singapore or Malaysia for vaccination because these countries provide the more
reliable medicine compared to the free experimental vaccines that cause more than a Deleted: medicince
dozen lethal cases per year at home. Although the local authorities have tried Deleted: vaccinces
Deleted: s
different methods to persuade these moms and dads to immunise their youngsters
locally, they definitely refuse the offers due to the potential danger.
In conclusion, a law that obliges parents to immunise their children may cause social
unrest due to the partial dangerous nature of some types of vaccines. I highly Deleted: s
recommend the governments to keep vaccination on a voluntary basis and to Deleted: as
persuade parents about its benefit rather than having skeptical points of view on its
drawbacks. (282 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments



Example 3
Health is wealth, according to the popular saying. It is also commonly said that
prevention is better than cure. Diseases are to be avoided by any possible means in
our society therefore parents should be made by the law of the land to immunize
their children and ward against common diseases. Deleted: s
Disease in society is a hardship no parent wants to deal with, therefore it is better to Deleted: the
prevent easily through immunization before they occur. The fact that the vaccines for Deleted: n odd
Deleted: emanate
these diseases are easily accessible is more of the fact that the government should
make it compulsory for parents to administer them to their children at recognized
health centers.
Furthermore, immunization stems the spread of common contagious diseases right

before infection. This helps the government to protect the society from a possible
epidemic that might happen if there is no opportunity for immunization.

In addition, enforcing laws to compel parents to immune their children also stands to
help the parents in some ways. It could help the parent and guardian to save funds
that might be used to manage these diseases when their children are infected. Such
funds can be saved towards the education of the children.
Lastly, immunization helps society to rear healthy children and more productive youth Deleted: the
and adults. This gives the society the needed healthy population it requires for
progress. For example, an immunized child will grow to become a healthy and able
adult that will contribute to the socio-economic advancement of the society.
In conclusion, laws should be put in place and enforced for all parents to immunize
their wards and children against preventable diseases. This help the society to have a
healthy and productive population and contributes to a progressive society. (287
words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments


---------- Question 2 ----------
A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty
of exercise and avoids stress.
What should people do to stay healthy in your country?
Example 1
I agree that in order for a person to be healthy, he has to well manage his nutrition
and exercise regularly. The level of nutrition received and the amount of the exercise
are the factors that directly impact the health of the respective person. However, I Deleted: who
would also believe that stress levels play a role in determining how a person eats and Deleted: s
exercises. Often times, when a person is under high stress level, he tends to eat more
than his usual portion, cares less about the type of foods and deprioritizes exercise.
In my country, I believe both food and lifestyle play a significant factor that influences Deleted: s
the healthiness in our society.
First, people in our country favor sweet and fried food. Most of the basic drinks and
snacks are high in calories and sugary beverages. For example, people mostly drink
sweet iced tea instead of non-sugary tea accompanied with chocolate pancakes filled
with butter and condensed milk. For the foods, fried rice and fried chicken are the
most popular foods in our society. Therefore, the only way for our society to be
healthy is to change our behaviour in how we eat. We should cut the sweet drinks,
curb the desserts and change from fried food to steamed food. Moreover, people in
our country should be encouraged to cook their own food. When people cook their
own food, they will be more likely to understand the ingredients of the food and this
will likely to enhance their knowledge about healthy food. Comment [A34]: Good!

Second, our society does not have yet the culture of exercising, especially for working
people. They spend most of their time in the office during the day, and after work
they socialize with their colleagues by having dinner or drinking together. In this case,
exercise will be the least of their priorities In order to change this behaviour, the Deleted: their least priority.
government should educate and encourage our society to practice sport more
regularly. As examples, government should popularize running events, enact sports
day and support fitness center to open a gym in the office buildings.
When it comes to stress level, I believe that the case would be on an individual basis.
At this moment, I could not think of one major cause that creates stress in our society,
hence I don’t have specific suggestions. (379 words) Comment [A35]: You really need to finish
with specific suggestions.!
Score: 6.5
Detail comments



Example 2
“Health is wealth” is an age old saying which stands true until today and will stay Deleted: till
true as long as mankind exists. Staying healthy is an indication of leading an

organized and composed lifestyle. It is obvious that a person who stays healthy
regardless of age and sex will be able to lead a productive life.
Our environment has changed very significantly over the centuries. Quality of life has
declined due to lot of factors and the major one being pollution. Man invented
machines which were supposed to be a boon and make life easy but over usage of
equipment has created a problem for Mother Nature. People in the olden days were
not subjected to pollution. They led a stress free life, since competition during those Deleted: the
days was not as high as it is today.
It is very important that one stays healthy. A healthy person is one who follows a Deleted: H
balanced diet, makes sure that their body gets enough movement and stays active so
that the blood flow remains consistent and this in turn ensures a healthy heart. Cities Deleted: s
in India have become polluted and the quality of food and water has also declined. It
is hard for one to maintain a healthy lifestyle in such an environment but it is possible
with a little self-discipline. Making simple lifestyle changes can steer a person
towards good health. From a personal experience, the following are a few changes
one can incorporate with minimal effort.
1) Start with a strong desire in mind to change to a healthy lifestyle
2) Prepare a diet chart with an exercise timetable and stick to it
3) Indulge in junk food once a month
4) Quit smoking and limit drinking to social gatherings
5) Make exercise fun. Try trekking, swimming, Zumba and more creative stuff

6) Drink 5 litres of water daily and don’t sit for long time. Make sure to walk every Deleted: liters
hour
Along with the above, one needs to have a good supply of oxygen which is hard to
get when living in a city, so they must grow plants in respective balconies. A healthy Deleted: H
body paves the way to a longer life span and a healthy mind. (358 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task and extends main ideas, but may overgeneralise at
times.
Information and ideas are arranged coherently, but there is a distinct lack of
cohesive devices which make cohesion between sentences are mechanical.
A sufficient range of vocabulary used with less common items.
Uses a variety of complex sentences with predominantly error free sentences.
Example 3
It is often argued that sound health resides in a body which gets nutrition-rich food
regularly, does workouts and gets minimal stress. In my opinion, maintaining a work Deleted: takes
life balance and trying to follow a fixed routine are also important to stay fit. This
essay will discuss both of these points in detail.
Firstly, it is important to strike a balance between work and family time. Now-a-days,
many new avenues are opening in the job market due to globalization. This has led to

increasing competition in the offices amongst peers to prove themselves. Since,

human beings are a social animal, they feels happy when they are surrounded by h Deleted: is
loved ones. Tension due to competition is a cause of many diseases in our body and Deleted: he
Deleted: he
family time is considered to be the cure. This was also proved by a recent survey
Deleted: is
done by Michigan University which states that people who are able to strike a
Deleted: is
balance between personal and professional life are up to 70% less prone to sickness
caused due to depression.
Moreover, maintaining a fixed daily body cycle is another important part of a healthy
lifestyle. It is often argued that people who follow a fixed time for eating, sleeping
and daily activities are more immune to diseases. This is further confirmed by various
famous personalities such as sportsman Virat Kohli, actor Akshay Kumar and many
others, who have repeatedly said at various occasions that having a strict routine is
the main reasons behind their good health.
To conclude, though eating habits, exercise, mental health are contributors to a

healthy body, other aspects such as maintaining a work-life balance and following a
daily routine can not be neglected. (277 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


uncommon words although there are some errors.
Uses a variety of complex structures. Produces some e frequent error-free

sentences. Has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few
errors.

---------- Question 3 ----------
In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other
countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want.
To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Example 1
Child upbringing varies wildly from country to country and from society to society.
Some of the most socially liberal countries believe our children should run free and
not be constrained in any way. On the other side of the spectrum, some countries
believe that without proper guidance and rule enforcement for the young they will
grow up unruly and become a hindrance to society.
Argentina is one of Latin America's countries with the most percentage of population
in favor of freedom in all of its forms, from legal abortion to gay marriages. This
includes the freedom of children to do as they please and their right to not be held
back by adults. The main issue with this sort of mentality is that once they grow into
proper men and women they will, undoubtedly, remain thinking in the same manner
and it will make it harder for them to insert themselves into society, which will always
have rules to be followed to function properly.
More traditional countries believe youngsters should be brought up under strict

guidance in order to become functional members of society and good role models for
the generations to come. For instance, the Japanese education system does not
employ cleaning personnel and leaves it up to the students to maintain and clean up
their own school facilities.

Nothing in life is black and white, especially not when it involves the human being Deleted: specially
and living in society. Nothing good will come out of giving complete freedom to our
children when they do not have the life experience or maturity needed to make
decisions on their own. Nevertheless, growing up in an environment full of
constraints and limitations will prevent children from reaching their full potential. It is
a very delicate balance that all of us, as a society, need to strive to achieve. (305
words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments

Example 2
There has always been a discussion about how much of a rule regarding what must Deleted: following
our children do. Different countries have a different notion around rule following. This Deleted: ce
essay will discuss the extent to which children must abide by the norms placed on
them.
A norm or a rule is generally created based on the culture of a given society. Some of
these rules are based on experiences. For example, the rule about how a child must
go to bed before it gets too late in the night. This rule stems from the fact that a child
must rise up early in the morning and be well rested and excited to face new
challenges presented to him. These rules instill discipline and inculcate good
behaviours. For a society to be able to develop and be sustainable it needs very Deleted: ,
strong leaders. If history can be a witness, then it will tell us how important
upbringing of child is, for creating future leaders.
On the other hand, freedom to go beyond the society norms have created great
innovators and visionaries. It has been seen that societies which give enough
freedom to their societies tend to have happier adults later. Freedom to think and act
of will is a great catalyst to creativity. Many of the artists and successful businessmen
have had a qualityamount of freedom which resulted in them moving ahead of the Deleted: good
times and establishing their names. Many academics believe that imposing stringent Deleted: academians
rules curbs all creativity which in the long run has a negative impact on the countries
ability to produce great minds of the future.
Although, freedom is important for a child to grow its mind, a certain restrictions
must be imposed on them. Complete freedom always runs the risk of kids losing
themselves in the large world. Creativity stems from freedom, but a little discipline is
always needed to ensure that children direct their energy into the right direction. Deleted: a
(318 words)
Score: 7.0

Detail comments


Example 3
In the present generation, there have been distinct ways in which a child is grown up
depending on their surroundings. Subsequently, children may have a stringent
environment or may have lenient surroundings encapsulating them. There is an
ongoing debate on which surrounding is suitable for a child’s growth and social Deleted: socialization of
behavior as each will have different perspectives and attitudes which demand Deleted: difference
appropriate treatment to them. Deleted: s

On one hand, there are stringent norms of behavior which immensely shape the
social skill in a child and this is more dominant in a culturally-oriented country like Comment [A36]: This has been a
regular error of yours. Research the
India. In such cases, a child will have clear social guidelines to follow to socialize difference between 'like' and 'alike'.
Deleted: a
themselves and develop their nature, attitude, perspective and so forth. Parents who
advocates such norms presume that such a set of stringent values will assure that Deleted: s
their child will develop behavior which is acceptable to their community. Moreover,
the focus of developing children is society oriented rather than individual oriented.
For instance, here a child will have less liberty to make important decisions for their Deleted: of
life such as ]career options and instead these are taken by parents and elders in the Deleted: opting
family. Deleted: is
On the other hand, western countries are totally on the other spectrum wherein
children socialize in a casual environment. Parents supporting such surroundings Deleted: their behavior
state that it is the children who must decide how to sustain this for a lifetime and to
decide what sort of behavior to adopt. Consequently, they are permitted to take the
majority of their decisions by themselves; however, occasional advice is provided to Deleted: s
them. This will not only allow children to familiarize themselves with the Deleted: are
consequences of various decisions, but also would tend them to develop a social
sense independent from their parent’s protection and thus such children are less
pampered. For instance, here children have full authority to decide their future goals, Deleted: about
so that they prioritize it by having a sense of the positive and negative circumstances. Deleted: upside or downside
Therefore, the degree of obeying norms depends on the qualities of children. If a child
is more mature and has a prudent social understanding, then he might be excluded Deleted: d
from following stringent norms instead of those who need rigorous guidance to Deleted: have
shape their social behavior. Thus, in conclusion, generalizing sets of rules to guide
socialization is impractical as each child is versatile in their nature and hence, the
extent of accepting a norm depends on individual cases. (387 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.

---------- Question 4 ----------
In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools

to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in
schools which provide a more general academic education.
What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?
Example 1
Education plays a vital role in children’s life because it helps in cultivating the brain of
a child. It also helps them to gain knowledge of the world which assists them to make
informed decisions throughout their lives. I have completed my schooling in India and
there books precede practical information.
Since I was spending an extensive amount of time in classes and assignments for a
long time I was indecisive of a career path to take. This is a major drawback in
academics because it enlightens you about the “what” and “why” of a topic but it
doesn’t deliver “how”. Until you discover what you enjoy doing the most, you can’t Deleted: Un till
fulfill the desire of doing that the rest of your life and to figure that out practical
experience is essential.
The schools should focus on providing hands on experience while teaching classes.
There is a school in Mumbai, India which holds all its arts and poetry classes outside
the classrooms in the school gardens to let the creativity of the children out of the
box. They also promote students in their annual painting competition where everyone Deleted: completion
in school is welcome to participate irrespective of talent.

Another good example is of my own school where one of my teachers always

enacted all her history lessons with the help of the students. It made the learning
much more fun whereas it also made us imagine how the incidents would have
happened in the past. A couple of students from the class grew up to be
archaeologists.
Since they found their passion at an early stage they did not have to struggle much to
earn their living. They were able to achieve a perfect profession for themselves
because they were given practical guidance at school. (291 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.


errors.
Example 2
Vocational training has become increasingly popular among certain middle schools in
European countries. While some parents send their children to schools where
practical skills can be learned, others have children staying in traditional schools. This Deleted: ed
essay will give two suggestions for schools to better prepare students to become
employable.
Giving general academic courses is certainly an essential method to equip students

with comprehensive knowledge needed in the future. Liberal arts and sciences have
been considered the foundation of all subjects for a long time and schools should
attach high importance to these subjects. In the UK, middle school students are
required to take literature, algorithms, geography and other science courses before Deleted: s
they can attend other vocational training. It has been proved that students with a
better understanding of arts and sciences usually have superior comprehension of
other knowledge. By giving general academic education, schools are able to offer
students a wide range of knowledge necessary in learning other skills.
Besides traditional courses set out by schools, some practical techniques should also
be taught from an early age. Certain skills such as machine operating are better
learned at school before graduates enter the job market. For example, Deleted: go to
apprenticeships are compulsory for students who wish to get skilled worker positions Deleted: is
in France and Germany. Some companies even require a certain amount of training
time before students can officially undertake their job duties because these skills can
only be gained through extensive practice. From the perspective of schools, providing
well-designed practical courses will give students more advantages when students
enter the labor market.
Practical training has been introduced in some schools in European countries. This
essay suggested two methods for school to better prepare students before they
enter the job market. In conclusion, a combination of traditional academic training and
vocational training should be developed to facilitate students with better educational
and practical backgrounds. (309 words)

Score: 7.5
Detail comments

each paragraph.

Example 3
Undoubtedly, education has always played a vital role in our society and it is an
inevitable part of our daily lives. As an educational entity, it becomes the prime
responsibility of schools to help their students become smarter for the real world. In Deleted: actual world of reality
this context, some schools have started inculcating practical skills for the age group
of 11 or 13, while other children continue with their general academic education. In
my perspective, age should not be a limit to imbibe practical knowledge.

We are in an era wherein there is a huge evolvement of technology, science, arts and
culture. With an open exposure through practical demonstration, students can imbibe
Deleted: On-ground activity helps
a great density of knowledge within a fraction of a second. Practical skills help
students to connect better to their nearby surroundings and eventually reciprocate
Deleted: an
better to the things around them. For instance, a low percentage of students are
Deleted: very less
aware of the science behind growing foods that they consume on daily basis.
Deleted: would be
However, if schools can teach how food can be grown under various climatic
Deleted: on
conditions or help them understand the maths behind profit and loss through some Deleted: game
interactive sessions, it can help students learn their lessons in a more fun and
interesting way.
On the other hand, academic education has become mundane. However, one cannot
ignore the fact that it helps students to build their theoretical skills, sharpen their Deleted: grasping
memory, and enhance their writing and vocabulary skills. In addition, to provide
practical learning in all situations may not be possible. For example, to make students
aware of history, it is not feasible to take them on all study tours as it involves a lot of
expense and many risk factors. Hence, educational institutions should support Deleted: s
academic skills with a different treatment wherein E-Learning gets equal preference.
To recapitulate my point, I strongly assert that practical learning skills should be a

fundamental part of education for all age groups. However, educational bodies
should acknowledge all the technicalities and logistics before undertaking any
practical tasks. Without ignoring the multiple benefits of academic skill sets, I also Deleted: skillset
believe that it should continue be part of our education system but preferably in a
more evolved way. (364 words)
Score: 7.5
Detail comments

appropriately.

use.

---------- Question 5 ----------
Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as

computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue
that these devices only make them more difficult.
Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?
Example 1
Deleted: thison the topic

Technology is a boon or a curse. Many people debate this topic, but nobody reaches a
proper winning argument. Home appliances like dishwashers, and digital machines
like computers have highly reduced the need of using our hands, brain or both. Deleted: s
We could observe the influence of technology over our younger generation. Many
children start using computers and other digital gadgets at a young age. Since they
are born in the 21st century, they have easy access to some of the most efficient
devices available to mankind. As a result, they become comfortable with it and
develop a tendency to rely on it. The relying part is not bad because it is making their
life easier and saving them a lot more time. For example, students using scientific
calculators in their college exams. Calculators do a lot of complicated calculations and Deleted: es
provide the answer in milliseconds and also eliminates the requirement to memorize Deleted: s
complex mathematical constants and values because the calculator remembers it for Deleted: along with that it
them. In a way this decreases the stress on the student while attempting the exam.
Younger generation is full of curiosity and excitement, so they are always enthusiastic
about learning new tools and technologies.
However, it is different story for the older generation. They are not used to all the
fancy technologies available because they have learned to complete their tasks the

hard way without any mechanical assistance. It is difficult for them to learn new
methods because after a certain age older people start losing the capacity of learning
new techniques. Learning new ways of operating machines has increased stress for
the older people. They are reluctant to absorb the new mechanisms because they
have already spent a lifetime to assimilate all the information up till now, doing that
all over again is hectic for them. For example, computers have been a tough product
for them to crack. I have seen a lot of older individuals struggling their way around
computers. Deleted: their way to
Deleted: n
In conclusion I would like to say that technology is not going anywhere, and it will
keep on improvising and bringing new operations to adapt to. A Better way to handle
all this new infrastructure would be making it friendlier for the people who are
unfamiliar with it. Taking special measures to create a bridge between the past,
present and future modernization. (391 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments



Example 2
Over the last few decades, the world has become more advanced technologically and
this has resulted in the manufacturing of labour-saving machines such as washing
machines and computers. While the invention and availability of these machines has
been positively life-changing for households and organisations, it is still argued by
some that they only make things more difficult for them. I am of the opinion that
modern technology reduces stress, and I will be discussing why in this essay.
To begin with, modern technology is time-efficient and this leads to an increase in

productivity. This means that the utilisation of these machines cuts down time spent
on work and thus brings about increased efficiency. For instance, washing machines
reduce the amount of time spent doing laundry as opposed to washing manually.
Also, the use of computers in organisations creates quicker operations by employees. Deleted: swifter
Modern technology also improves the standard of living of its users. Let us take a
look at how advanced medical equipment aids better healthcare in hospitals. In
addition to this, we can say increased productivity as a result of utilising modern
machines means more income for people which is a huge factor in improving one’s
standard of living.
However, some people say these machines bring about more stress. I, for one do not
see how, as they make work easier, except their argument is based on the machines
being mentally tasking. In which case, is not a technological-induced stress but a Deleted: ,
personal-induced one due to the individual’s inability or disinterest to learn a few Deleted: i
skills required to effectively use modern technology, and evolve with the technology
world.

To sum these up, usage of labour-saving devices has brought about more positive
than negative results for individuals, organisations and the world as a whole. (293
words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
Addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than
others.
Presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or

repetitive.
Presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear.
use.

Example 3
In the modern era, there are many automated conveniences which reduce our time
and energy and in turn make lives effortless. Although, some people argue that these
tools are making lives tougher and have many drawbacks, I believe that these
modern amenities have reduced our stress levels to the large extent.
Firstly, these devices are machines and they do have some drawbacks. One of the
major one to consider is that these machines make people lazy and over dependent
on them. Furthermore, it also diminishes traditional methods used for completing
work. For instance, due to rapidly increasing computer’s usage as communication
tool, people prefer to chat with each other online rather than meeting in person. This
destroys the traditional approach of communication and personal bonding between
people. Apart from this, daily use of these modern appliances such as dishwashers
and washing machines sometimes damages and deteriorates the quality of the
product.
Nevertheless, in my view, every coin has dark side as well as positive side. If we take
into consideration benefits of this modern advancement, it will definitely outweigh its
drawbacks. To start with, these devices save a lot of time and energy which could be
utilized for meaningful purposes. For example, for most of the working women, it is Deleted: in
quite convenient to press one button to clean dirty dishes in dishwashers, where
otherwise they would have spent hours to make them clean.
Furthermore, development in computer technology has connected people from all

over the world at a single platform. It is possible nowadays to communicate with
anyone in any part of the world in no time which was not probable in the old days. Deleted: at
To sum up, even though some believe that there are more limitations on the usage of
modern devices, I think that, these devices have a lot of advantages and reduce our Deleted: s
routine life stress by making it hassle free and much more convenient. (315 words) Deleted: s
Deleted: ’s
Score: 8.0 Deleted: hustle

Detail comments
and presents, extends and supports main ideas

Discuss both views

---------- Question 1 ----------
Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more
privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Example 1
Becoming a celebrity is associated with turning one’s life to an open book. As public
figures, an invasion into their privacy is common and whilst some believe that this
should be an acceptable consequence of the profession, others argue that regulated
media exposure is necessary. This essay will discuss both arguments.
Celebrities rely on fame to make money. This implies that if a celebrity wants to be
rich, then he or she knows that it is important to be talked about by the public. It is
the media that serves as an instrument in gaining such popularity. Lucky celebrities
will be frequently talked about positively whereas unfortunate ones will usually have
the negativities of their private lives exposed by the media. Nonetheless, both
circumstances pave the way for celebrities to create a name for themselves and to
increase their chances of winning big movie projects that will make them even richer.
For example, the Kardashians have allowed the media to showcase their private lives
through a reality television show, which has turned the family’s worth to billions.
Although Kim Kardashian has admitted a few times that she is not happy being
watched all the time, she knows that the invasion into her family’s privacy is a price
they have to pay for choosing the kind of life they are living.

On the other hand, one has to remember that outside movies, tv shows and
photoshoots, celebrities are also ordinary human beings who deserve respect when it
comes to certain aspects of their lives. Many people, especially the moralists, find it
unfair to allow celebrities to be caught and showed off by the media in very private
situations. For instance, the media was severely criticised for unashamedly publishing Deleted: unshamingly
a photograph of Britney Spears’ bra falling off and exposing her boob. It has been
reported that this caused the artist to nearly commit suicide, which made her fans
rage all the more.
In my opinion, people who are famous have to accept that they are public figures,
hence will be followed around by the media. However, I think that there has to be
some degree of censorship implemented that will take into consideration the dignity
of the person being exposed in public. Therefore, it is recommended that the media is
regulated by the national media board to ensure that there are limitations observed
when it comes to invading celebrities’ private lives. (398 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
The candidate addresses all parts of the task. There may be a tendency to
overgeneralise the supporting points.
Uses a range of cohesive devices with a central topic in each paragraph.
Uses adequate vocabulary for the task with a few less common items.
Uses a variety of complex sentences with many error free sentences.

Example 2
Deleted: about
In the recent years, there has been a drastic increase in media coverage regarding
private celebrity lives. While some people believe that privacy invasion is the cost of Deleted: the
being famous others disagree and believe that media does not treat the celebrities
right. In this essay, I will discuss both point of views and lend my partial support to
the latter argument.
Being famous comes with responsibility and the media holds people accountable.
Sometimes fame gained in a very short period of time can make people feel invincible
and arrogant. For instance, a famous actor in India, Salman Khan, who became
popular after 3 movies at the age of seventeen, was involved in a drunk driving
incident in which a few people lost their lives. The actor was released because of his
influence in the industry, however, it was the media coverage which assured that the
case went to tria. If there was no media to keep a check on celebrities, the power Deleted: l
would fall more in the hands of people who are famous. Deleted: will
On the other hand, the media has its own low points during its coverage. For
instance, the accident during which Princess Diana lost her life while she was
attempting to ward of photographers. Moreover, the media also seems to feed on Deleted: of
the lowest points in a person’s life like Britney Spears’ meltdown which did not have Deleted: s
any impact on society, but rather it was used to make a mockery of the star. Deleted: melt down
Deleted: the
Furthermore, it is also important to consider that there is a young vulnerable
population reading material published by the media which in return also influences Deleted: the
how they think and form opinions. Hence, the media needs to be more responsible
about its coverage.
Deleted: ing
In conclusion while the coverage of celebrity’s private life by the media can help keep
celebrities in check, monetizing someone else’s sadness and mocking someone
suffering from a mental health condition is inhumane . Hence, I believe that the
coverage of the private life of celebrities should be more restricted and should only be
published if the story can have a potentially positive impact on the society. Deleted:
(351 words)
Score: 7.5

Detail comments


Example 3
Well known and celebrated personalities face unwanted attention from media in
their everyday life. Although people may argue that being famous has itʼs own price
to pay, I would like to differ since they are also human beings living a daily human
routine life and they should be treated with respect and given proper privacy.
Is it the price that famous personalities should pay for being famous, or why does
the media give so much attention to famous people? If we take some examples from Deleted: s
princess Diana to Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan, we will find that the common people
show a tremendous amount of interest in the celebrity way of life as they may not Deleted: s
get a chance to live the same. So, in order to gather more and more information
about the celebrity lifestyle, the media provides a constant coverage from dawn to

dusk ensuring that they can capture every available moment. Unknowingly, crossing
the limit sometimes, they follow from restaurants to home, from jogging tracks to
gym and so many other places, eventually entering into their private life and
breaching moral and ethical standards by exposing them round the clock. The media
should act in a justified way regarding this matter because they should not forget
that celebrities are human beings and living a normal human life like we all do. They
are just ahead of normal people for their exceptional abilities in a particular field, but
this does not give media the right to breach someoneʼs private life.
To conclude, we must remember that privacy is someoneʼs birthright. Myself, as a

normal human being will never want to disclose my personal information like phone
number, house address or any other confidential details to strangers. Same goes
with the famous personalities as well. (293 words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments


---------- Question 2 ----------
Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some

people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Example 1
With rapid increase in the rate of abortions in both developed and developing
countries, it ought to become a subject for debate and deliberation by the media and
subject matter experts. On one hand, some people have the opinion that abortion
should be made illegal unless it’s a serious medical emergency, the basis of this
opinion being that no one should have the right to take someone’s life and it qualifies
being equivalent to murder. One the other hand, some people think that abortion is
personal choice and every individual has the right to do it if they wish to, the basis of
this opinion is that many young teenagers have unprotected sex and they become
pregnant, with no means to support the offspring it directly impacts their life and Deleted: there
limits their freedom to do what they want to in life, additionally being pregnant at Deleted: there
such young age poses threat to the life of the person and as well as the offspring, Deleted: having
Deleted: cy
hence they believe abortion is the right option to exercise and should remain
Deleted: in
legalized.
Deleted: off spring
In my view, I completely support the opinion that abortion should remain legal and
should be a personal choice. I have had friends who had unprotected sex with their Deleted: there
girlfriends and boyfriends, and got pregnant at a very young age, they had no idea Deleted: in
what to do with their life in that situation. They were in school and had no means to Deleted: re
support a new born, also they were under 20 years of age so they were not medically

fit as well to give birth to a baby. Keeping financial and medical factors aside, they
were not psychologically ready to have a new person in their life, and they had all
these amazing plans for there future which would also be jeopardized. The best
option that they had at that time was abortion, which they very well did go through
and it was a success, not only did that help them live a healthy life in future, it also
gave them the option to evaluate their relationship without any mental pressure or Deleted: there
forced commitment.
Also, to address the underlying cause of increased abortions being unprotected sex
and lack of use of contraceptives, I believe that government should heavily invest in
building better curriculum for sex education for primary and middle school and should
make that course as important as any other course in the school. This will allow
young generations to understand the benefits of protected sex and that will reduce
abortion numbers in the future. Another critical measure that government should take
is to subsidize or provide contraceptives free of cost, especially in developing
countries.
The whole effort should be to prevent abortion by safe and protected sex as abortion
does impact the health of the person. Still,abortion is a way better solution than Deleted: I
giving birth to a unplanned child, and should be legal in every country. (485 words) Deleted: stand
Score: 7.0
Detail comments
more fully extended

use.


errors.
Example 2
Nowadays, abortion has become one of the most alarming phenomena which has
been growing in an unprecedented pattern. There are some viewpoints that call for
abortion legalisation, while others oppose such action due to various reasons. I am
going to explore both perspectives in this essay.
As abortion may possibly be the appropriate solution for a myriad of pregnancy

problems such as women who are at a high risk of mortality in the event of delivery.
For example, elderly pregnant women who can not tolerate pregnancy, women with Deleted: f
cardiac disorders as well as women who would need a C-section which may be Deleted: surgical operation
threatening to their lives. I think all those cases should be advised to undertake
abortion as a life saving procedure. As a consequence, abortion should be legalized
under these circumstances.
On the other hand, there are enormous numbers of women worldwide who opt to
abort their pregnancy without a reasonable reason. For instance, there are some
families, especially in some impoverished countries, who oblige their women to abort Deleted:
pregnancy as they can not afford the means of living for this expected birth. Deleted: born baby
Moreover, some teenagers who might get pregnant would think of abortion because
pregnancy out of marriage is a shameful act in their societies. In these cases, I think
abortion should be strictly prohibited and illegal and whoever commits it should be
subject to harsh punishment.

To conclude, I believe that abortion should be legalised only in certain and clear
conditions which could be decided based only on the medical and health
consequences of getting pregnant not on the socioeconomic considerations. As a
result, such a rising issue would be controlled as it would be only confined to those
who are in need. (286 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

Example 3
Abortion is as controversial as controversial can get, and it’s a very sensitive topic Deleted: y
diving the US into 2. It’s also not a local issue but rather something discussed all over
the world. On one side of the aisle, there are people who support abortion as a
fundamental right of a woman to choose what to do with her body and the other side
arguing that a child cannot and should be terminated when it does not have any say
in the matter.
One of my best friend was raped when she was just 13, and even though the
monster was caught and punished, she was impregnated by him. Fearing social
stigma, and the constant reminder of what that baby was a product of, pushed her to
abort it, for no fault of the baby. As sad as it was, I understood her decision and
supported her choice to do so. Irrespective of somebody’s opinion it was her, who
had to take care of the baby at such a tender age. It was also her body that the baby
was using to grow and come out into this world, and just like a woman has a choice
to cut off her arm, if she chooses to, she can abort her baby if she so wishes.t’s not Deleted: And Ii
our business nor the governments to try to control a woman’s body and force her to
labor. There are also some special circumstances, when a mother’s life is at risk if the
baby is not aborted. This was a case which stirred up people in Ireland when a
woman died as doctors refused to abort the kid, despite knowing that the mother
was in danger
Despite this, I do not fully support abortion in all cases, and this is more evident than
none other than in India, where female infanticide is not only tolerated but frequently
supported by the patriarchal society. I have seen a relative of my close friend, forced
to abort since she was carrying a girl, something which Indian parents do not like to
have. I may not fully comprehend the feeling now but might do when I become a Deleted: o
father one day. Knowing that my wife can choose to abort the baby without my say
in it, is not only scary but grossly unfair. In a society where couples are expected to
be partners and are expected to play equal role,s it’s mind boggling to know that I get
no say in any of this. Religion also plays an important role, as many major religions
consider killing an unborn baby as an unforgivable sin.
With all these conflicting viewpoints, it certainly is hard to determine who is right or
wrong. But truly it’s a question of an innocent’s life who cannot even defend itself.

We must reach a consensus where certain extreme situations can be acceptable for
abortion with consensus of the doctors and the judges. Barring which, no one should
have the right to take away a life, something which we all agree as precious. (508
words)
Score: 8.0
Detail comments


---------- Question 3 ----------

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only
better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.
Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Example 1
People prefer vegetarian dishes and avoid eating meat or fish to keep themselves
healthy and as a result, the world is getting a benefit from this.. This essay will argue Deleted: benefitted
that eating meat or fish is not good for health and it has an adverse effect on the Deleted: agrees
world. Deleted: This essay is going to discuss th

reasons behind this.
People who do not eat meat or fish are more likely to be healthier than people who
prefer to eat non-vegetarian dishes. Firstly, vegetables are rich in fibre and different
vitamins which are essential for the human body. Moreover, fat content is very low Deleted: a
compared to meat or fish. Eating meat on a regular basis not only increases body Deleted: the
weight but also people stand a chance of getting heart attacks because of the
excessive deposits of cholesterol in the blood vessels of the heart. For example, a
recent research found out that the lifespan of vegetarians is likely going to be more Deleted:
than that of non-vegetarians.
Vegetarians are also setting an example in front of the whole world by not
supporting the killing of animals. Seeing how chickens are being killed (slaughtered) Deleted: the
can have a bad impact on young kids if by chance they visit butchers . The kids can Deleted: getting
Deleted: killed
turn violent in the future and this is certainly not going to be a good sign for the
Deleted: meat selling shops
society. Vegetarians, on the other hand, are helping the society to develop by
contributing to various fields like science, politics etc. For instance, an article Deleted: in
published in a leading daily mentioned that all the great leaders in India in the field of
politics are vegetarians.

In conclusion, avoiding eating meat or fish not only helps to keep a person fit but also
helps in improving the community. (292 words)
Score: 6.5
Detail comments
Information is arranged clearly and there is clear overall progression. Paragraphs

are relatively easy to understand and generally have a clear central topic although
they may not be logical sometimes.

Example 2
Change is the only constant thing. As our world is evolving, people are opting for
different lifestyle and their personal preferences are changing. Like many other things
consumption of food patterns have also changed. From meat eaters more and more
people are opting for vegetarian food. People have their own reasons for this new Deleted: veg

habit, it could be health issues, environmental issues or a change in mindset. But

whatever may be there reason, I believe it is a good to have vegetarian food. Deleted: veg
Firstly, the food is a very personal choice and hence no one should be judged on their
food preferences. If we have something which we don’t like, it affects our health
adversely. Secondly, too much meat consumption is not good for our health. To Deleted: of
maintain a healthy lifestyle, it is important to keep a balance of all nutrients and

minerals most of which we get from vegetables. Recent studies in medical sciences
have shown that people who eat more vegetables have less health problems Deleted: as
compared to others who prefer meat based food. They suffer from high cholesterol, Deleted: non-veg
fatty liver, and/or artery blockage. In addition to this, to meet the demand of the
customers farmers & companies are option for artificial ways to accelerate the
growth of the livestock. Consumption of this meat affects the health of individuals. Deleted: these
Moreover, the population of the world is growing which is affecting the ecological Deleted: in
balance. There are many species of animals which are on the verge of extinction. In
case of marine life, the danger is more, there are many species which are on the
verge of extinction due to overfishing. Deleted:
There is a famous saying that ‘if slaughterhouses had glass walls people would have Deleted:
not had meat. To conclude, I would like to add that it is an individual’s choice what
they want to eat and if their choices are helping them to lead a better life health wise,
they should have vegetarian food. (322 words) Deleted: veg
Score: 7.0
Detail comments

use.
Example 3
In the modern society, there are many different diets people chose to follow. In my
opinion some of them are out of any common sense, such as the Paleo’s one.
Often the reason behind increasing or decreasing a specific ingredient is related to

health issues, but also sustainability.
Vegetarians are a good example. A lot of them rely on the belief, scientifically proved,
that our intestine cannot digest meat properly as it is similar to the herbivores’ one. Deleted: ,
So, human beings are not able to process animal proteins. Deleted: s
Another common reason is related to the environment. Intensive farming often Deleted: is a
requires deforestation as it requires wide areas for paddocks, or processing plants. Deleted: consequence of
The meat industry needs a lot of water, resources to feed the herds, and it generates Deleted: ,
Deleted: M
pollution.

In the same way, to be able to respond to an increasing fish market request, we Deleted: the
started to raise fish in sea farms. There are big nets not too far from the shores, Deleted: They
where fish are raised and sold as product in supermarkets. Often they get fed with Deleted: is
hormone based food to speed up the process. These can be very dangerous for our Deleted: s
health, but also for the wild marine life as tides bring them around the oceans,
breaking the natural food chain. These are some of the reasons why a lot of
vegetarians avoid eating meat or fish.
After some studies and practice in one of the permaculture research institutes in
Australia, I realized the amount of resources cattle need. But also, how important it is Deleted: ,
to not break the very sensible balance that rules the nature we are part of. I reduced
my weekly intake of meat and fish, choosing more vegetable proteins, both for Deleted: -
environmental and health reasons. (291 words)
Score: 7.0
Detail comments


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IELTS SAMPLE

Volume 2 – GENERAL TRAINING

IELTS Sample Essays Collection - Volume 2 General Training

Publisher: InterGreat Education Group

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

About This Book

Prepare for IELTS General Training with this comprehensive collection of 38

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

How to use this book

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

 Letters for Business & Study

 Letters to Social Clubs & Community Groups

PART 2: TASK 2 ESSAYS

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

 Problem and Solution

 Discuss both views

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com

Letters to Friends & Family

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter

Begin your letter as follows:

music. Comment [A2]:

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -1-

I look forward to seeing you soon.

(TA) Task Achievement

(CC) Coherence and Cohesion

The task is arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression.

(LR) Lexical Resource

An adequate range of vocabulary used for this task.

(GRA) Grammatical Range and Accuracy

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -2-

Dear Mr. Smith,

(TA) Task Achievement

(CC) Coherence and Cohesion

Logically organises information and ideas. There is clear progression throughout.

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -3-

(LR) Lexical Resource

(GRA) Grammatical Range and Accuracy

However, given the number of guests, I do expect some noise. My apologies in

Ruben (201 words)

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -4-

(TA) Task Achievement

(CC) Coherence and Cohesion

Manages all aspects of cohesion well and uses paragraphs appropriately.

(LR) Lexical Resource

(GRA) Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Uses a variety of complex structures with frequent error free sentences.

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -5-

---------- Question 2 ----------

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter

 explain the reasons for the noise

You should write at least 150 words.

unpleasant noise coming from our apartment.

sure it would not extend beyond this time limit.

It is my sincere request for you to accept my apology and give me a chance to

VOLUME 2 – General Training http://ieltsonlinetests.com -6-

V. Shah (197 words) Deleted: s

(TA) Task Achievement

Covers the requirements of the task.

Presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate.

(CC) Coherence and Cohesion