Full House: free

readme
issue #7,000,001
Grov~in~ Pains: $3 Sep. 3 -Sep. 10, 2003

www.activitiesboard.org/readme
Carnegie Melton's leading source of carnivorous insects since 1395 -brought to you by the Activities Board
.~.
.~~~
Class of 2007 Quickly Fills CMU's Nerd '~4'•.

Quota, Popular Kid Quota Lacking ~.vw

..::~r:.:.... :::
Every fall the CMU community welcomes a released some monkeys or a horse or some-
new group of freshmen to campus, then is dis- thing in there. That would be pretty fun."
appointed to find out that it's just another class
~: : :<
of dorks, band geeks, and fat chicks. "I was Jason Nelson, a Pitt student who was on cam-
really hoping we could lose ~~~~~>~'~`k~~ ~,.:..:.
~~`~~ pus to bang his nerd
our reputation as a nerd girlfriend, said
school, but it looks like ~ ' "Basically if you go to
another class full of CMU, you're a nerd. A The catch of the day
dweebs," said
President Jared Cohon.
CMU big one." Nelson con-
tinued, "For example, I
Hammerschlag House
"Every time I look at one saw this dude with a to Hold First annual
o f these kids, I secretly
hope that he'll be the next
CMU hat walking
down Beeler as I drove
Sausage Festival
Bluto Blutarski or Van by last week, and my On Saturday, September 6th,
Wilder. But then my hopes friend threw a bottle at Hammarschlag House, an all male
are destroyed when he pulls him. We didn't have a dorm, will hold a "Boys Only" event to
out a PocketPC." chance to assess his facilitate friend-making among the
neediness, we just had Freshmen of~~the Hill.
Too bad she's a cardboard cut-out
CIT dean Matt Aldrin also to make assumptions."
expressed dismay with this year's applicants. The event's theme is the celebration of
When he first became dean, he expected it to CMU's admissions depat~tment says it :_~~ -~k,.ir the sausage, tha_ t wonderful food that
be "kinda Like in T~V shows where they have steps to admit more cool kids. Starting next can be enjoyed in a strictly manly way.
students who torment the dean with wild year, any applicant who's admission essay uses Some events planned are "swallowing
pranks, and then the dean says something like the phrases "keep it real," "word to your the sausage without chewing" as vlell as
`You're on double-secret probation,' then goes mother," or "shizzle," will be automatically "hiding the sausage." There are even
back to his office to find the pranksters accepted. plans fcr sausage fights, team sausage
eating, and Greco-Roman Wrestling.
Long Lost FUN Found at Construction Site "We will have hot sausage, large sausage,
so. Everyday should be a The feeling soon spread and my personal favorite, Italian
Labor Day for you ungrateful across the whole campus. "I sausage," said event organizer Coach
brats!" said Cohon. don't know what happened. I Bradbury. "It's the type of event a
was sitting in the cluster edit- bunch of guys can get together and
Anyway, the morning o f ing my emacs configuration have a good time and not have to worry
September 1st workers hit file, and all the sudden I had about how it looks."
upon a huge object in the this urge to leave Wean," said Coach Bradbury, who is also 57 and still
:.~:::>.::.::r..~.
.. j•
ground. "At first, I thought it a senior CS major. "I even got suspiciously unmarried, then patted a
was gold," said a worker. "But laid. Sure, she wasn't the best readme staff member on the rear and
Putting the FU back in FUN then I just real~7ed it was a looking woman ever, but she congratulated him for a game that was
Taking a leaf from Andrew capital `F'." According to was definitely more attractive never played. The readme reporter liked
Carnegie's book, President witnesses, a strange feeling than of rosy here." it.
Cohon had decreed that the long thought to be gone for-
workers at the construction ever was felt when the back- Rumors are rife that the `F' Most students are unsure how to feel
site at the east end of cam- hoe uncovered the letter. and the `U' will be sold to Bill about the festival and their feelings are
pus work 365 days a year, Doug Himan, the site fore- Gates. The `N' stay on cam- mixed at best. Freshman Mech-E
including the all-important man, was looking bright and pus. The funds from the sale major, Josh Denelsbeck gave his opin-
Labor Day. cheery when he said, "It will used to build a 100 storey ion, stating, "free food is good, I guess,
sounded like we broke some- Warner Hall that will dwarf but I don't want to have to have a
"Labor Day? Yeah, I've heard thing. Then we started feeling the Cathedral of Learning. "I sausage forced down my throat."
of it! Everyone labors doubly fun again." The feeling only guess the President wants a
hard on that day right? In fact, got stronger as a `U' and an huge Weiner, I mean Warner Critics of the event have called it a
you punk students shouldn't `N' were also uncovered. Hall" said a Senior who wish- "huge gay joke." They are completely
even wait until that day to do es to remain anonymous. correct.
Issue 7,000,001 - readme p. 2 - September 3 -September 10

MCS Student Recalled by California Freshman

Student Edward Gable was surprised to find his current school, UCLA, a position of "office Eaten by Giant
yesterday that he had received, in his brand new linebacker." The . student, Arnold
mailbox in the UC, a letter stating that there is Schwartzenidunnohowspellthisger, when asked Squid
currently a recall election taking place in his about his intentions to win, simply said "Ja!"
home state of California. The citizens, it seems, and put the readme reporter into a headlock. Everyone's parents worry. When
have decided that ...... ..... . ......_.~._e> ::e sending a freshman off to live,
Edward is not properly Other candidates for the sleep, and study in a totally new
representing their state position of Junior in MCS environment the parental unit wor-
as a student at CMU. include a hispanic kid from Ties about peer pressure, sex, and
a downtrodden neighbor- alcohol. But no one worries about
Gable, a MCS student, hood with high hopes of Giant Squid attacks. This is why
has just begun his jun- improving his and his fami- Robert and Shirley Moresfeld are
ior year, with a 2.8:x:; lyT's situations, a really skinny still in shock. On August 19, they
QPA, and not having white chick from the Valley helped their son Dave move into
declared a major, the who thinks she might be his new home in Ha~mmershlag.
people in his state think bisexual, a gay guy, a 12- "They were real overbearing and
that perhaps he (a white year-old Asian girl who has protective," recalled Dave's room-
Protestant} would pale interest in joining the mate Jim Toonth as he fought back
in comparison to a for- Varsity- DDR-EXTREME tears. "They asked me to keep an
eign hard-working team (currently ranked #2 eye on him, make sure he wasn't
charismatic student in the nation after CalTeeh), hanging with the wrong crowd or
from the same state. and numerous other candi- mi~~ing stripes and plaids. No one
Californa's large Good thing Vega's not on the ballot dates who could probably expected this."
Hispanic and Black get a place on MTV's "Road
populations agree: Gable is just another WASP Rules," but not "Real World." Another interest Freshman Erick Herb and Bill
with poor social skills at a school where even ing candidate, current governor Gray Davis, was Snideworth were playing pinball in
being a loser doesn't get you noticed. quoted as saying, "Well, you know, my POLIT- the lounge where Dave was study-
ICA~ career is dome tll~~~ks to ti~is whol_E ing on the fateful night. "He was
The frontrunner in the race to replace Gable Governor thing, so I figured I might as well get reading until like 3 a.m., when he
seems to be a 19-year old Austrian with connec- an engineering degree to fall back on." picked up his books and walked
tions to the porn industry and who has held in back toward his room," remem-
bered Erick. "Yeah," added Bill.
Freshman Year Senior Year Erick continued, "Then we heard
Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed Tired Out and 90 Proof this horrible scream and some gur-
gling noises. We ran towards Dave's
.v 5~J0` ~n 1aQos X100 ~~. s~hoc~l: su
_ :.. .
Forget ~he~e t~~ baokstore is: open door just in time to see the
squid sliding back out the window"
.~ Walk of Shame every Saturday and 7 AM more of a theoretical concept than "Giant Squid," corrected Bill. "We
couldn't believe it. Dave was
Sunday, 7 AM something one might experience
nowhere to be seen. All that was
orz~:~mad~; stir fry when you ~~n~.emrber to _ left were some shoes and a
V ~o shopping::.~therwise The O, Ram.en, and:.
Pizza; Ou:~.et
crapload of slime."

Dave's parents are still dumfound-

0 Talks about sex and the weather Talks about sex ed. "It's such a shame. He was
looking forward to his dorm's
d Oblivious to Real World In: violent de~v.al about I~.eal. World Sausage Festival," said Shirley. "We
were so worried about stories we'd
Playfair sucks Playfair is a blast! heard of nice kids going to college

d and turning ~to crack cocaine, but

never getting eaten by a Giant

E
C~:sual sex is amazing Casual. sex cuts into sleep schedule
'.~ .. . .. Squid." Campus Police went
searching for the squid the night

i=
55 units including Economics, 36 units including .~-lcting for Non-majors,
Interpretation and Argument, and Intro Weightlifting, and three StuCo classes the report was filed, but to no avail.
Experts have said that this squid

as
Calculus
was not messing around. Giant
rr~:~.r~:-::-r .:.$:::.......:~~r:r
: ::, :<:::; ~:f.:
.... ..}?r:i ~'
1yy.............. ... Squids are clever creatures, and this
one knew what it wanted, and how
Hooks up with freshmen Hooks up with freshmen to get away.
Issue 7,000,001
Top Disappointments
Upon Coming to CMU
The Strip District prostitutes no longer
take DineX.
Your significant other is probably having
some fiuz dirty sex right now.. far far away
from your moistening loins.
You find that you can't get "laid" even with
an automatic "get me laid" machine.
. Tow that you are out of the house, your
parents are much more l;kelti= to be eating
=our favorite pet.
`I~,~at guff= and/ox girl that you "got to
k~.3o ~..~_" at orientation looks much less
a~'r~:~a~vdve s en t~.~rouglz the window of a
~~.~~ clinic. welcome to syphilisville, pope-
lation: Sou.
Do~:~~a. life is ~ much less like M7'`T's
"T~j-~c~,ressed", and rriuch more like ~~ITV's
`"Sf~nelly Masturbating Roommate
Bonanza!"
Your f rst .taste of college freedom has
given you an arrest record, eight bean bur-
ritos, and a new def~n~tion of the word
"consensually."
Campus Dining is making you wish that a
bear had mauled you with delicious cuisine
as a child so that you'd be more likelti=... well,
~.=ou can see where this is going, the joke is
just the idea of a bear mauling ti=ou with
delicious cuisiize.
Perhaps it was not the best idea to room
with a g~.iy nickna~.ned "Mr. Loud Sex."
Your TA starts every class session with
"today, I'm going to rape you... with knowl-
edge."
Edging &Writing Staff
iPod: Chris Rotella
Archos: Muffin, Aileen D'Esposito, Dana Vinson, Chaos, Greg Modzelewsl~i., Brian Leahy, Brian
Gray, Pete Milder, Ashley Holtgraver, Bhiago Bersan, Esteban Bowles-Martinez, Audrey Dolgov,
Alison Lauer, Yuhua Li, and AB Hair Chris Smoak.
What is readme? ~~Iell, it's fLu~ntiT and it's useful. And free. So it's better than sliced bread.
Who makes it? readme is printed by the Activities Board, sponsored bti= ~.=our student activities fee
r
Where do I get it? readme is handed out at AB events, left in stacks around campus
Online: www.activitiesboard.org/readme
How do 1 help? Email crotella.@andrewcmu.edu. We need funny writers, non-fiul.ny writers, and PHotoslzopers
And remember: I thought these would be easy to come up with
- readme p. 3 -
Apple Turns Over, Peach Cobbles
Bad peach
Students and the aclmin;stra-
tion were shocked when
Dining Services officials dis-
covered last Tuesday that
this article has nothirig to do
with this headline and
readme just wanted to print
this headline because some-
one thought it was with=
when they were drunk. ~Tery
drunk. Approximately
27/ 100ths of a second later,
Dini,lg Ser~rices sued readme
and threatened to clestscoy its
Iav-isli office on tl~e fotu-th
floor of the UC for
Graduate Arrested for ~~ailing "Chemical' Weapons
Recent Cl~{IU graduate
I~lichael Lappas was a~ested
at a partti= his family held for
his graduation. Police raided
the party after learning that a
package containing a suspi-
cious gas in a sealed contain-
er was mailed by Lappas to
Ci~TU professor Gai-~= Salvan.
Lappas, who is free on
$50,000 bail, said, "I swear
there's notivng dangerous in
there. I just thought it would
be a fi~nnti= prank to fart in a
ziplock bag and mail it to a
professor I didn't like. You
r r
September 3 -September 10
"Mentioning food without
the word `sucks."'
Dining services, popular on
campus because it is the only
watt= lazy college students
can get food, has been sell-
ing apples and peaches in the
Grab `n' Go, or whatever it's
called now, for years.
Recently they replaced the
plastic fruit with actual fruit.
readme interviewed the head
of dining services, John
Lawler to discuss tl~e matter,
but he ~;rould only:- speak if
given anon~=mit~T. "Maybe it
would l~.ave bee~~ OIL if tl~ev
had charged six or seven dol-
lars for an apple that was
turned over," said Lawler.
"Or n~a~-be if theti= lzad made
r r
the s~~zdents wait in line, all
cro~~~ded like, just so that
they could take a club, and
know he totally deserved it.
I failed his O-Chem class my
sophomore ti=ear, so you
know, I thought I'd give him
some of mtiT~ homebrewed
O-Chem."
Salvan recalled the anthrax
scares of 2001 and called the
police when lie noticed a
pungent odor coming from a
package delivered by UPS to
his Software Engineering
Institute office on ~Tati= 24th.
According to a statement
released by the chief of
police, "These kinds of inci-
activities board
cobble the peach into some
sort of shoe."
The readme reporter also
tried to intei-vi.ew a couple of
Dining Services employees,
and finally found one ~~illing
to participate in an interview
in return for a living wage
and actual benefits. "Yeah,
none of us really know how
to cobble peach anyway, so
who cares if readme does
that?" Informed that in actu-
alzt~, tl~eoe :eras no cobbling
of peaches or turning over
of apples, and that that's the
whole issue, '~:he ;,lg ser-v
ices exx~ploti~~e asl~ed which
way the apple was supposed
to be oriented in the first
place. "It's just a Headline!"
said tl~e readme staff mem-
ber. "We l~a~re to make up
this whole article because
there's no real story here!"
dents are taken vein.= seflous-
r
ly, especially at SEI. Tlie
militar`.=y research done there
requires the highest level of
security. Even if it is just a
fart in a bag, it will be con-
sidered achemical weapon
under the USA-PATRIOT
act."
Issue 7,000,001
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life
Smoak and Mirrors: An Interview with
the New Activities Board Chair
readme: So, what's your
name?
Chris Smoak: Chris
Smoak.
readme: How did you f rst
get involved in the
Activities Board?
Chris: I just kept showing
up for films and badgefing
passer bys, trying to get
diem to see the films.
readme: Basically, you
became popula.r. . .
Chris: I don't think I was
ve~-~~ popular with the peo-
ple Iwas yelling at. I was
trying to be friendly with
fete who was already in AB
and selling tickets to the
movies. You could say I was
trti~ng to hit on him.
readme: How does it feel
to be AB chair?
Commando AB: No. Bad
question.
readme: uhlzh
::~:r
There've Been
Brighter Light Bulbs
Last week, a man was
arrested for di-Luzk driving
twice in the same night. The
first time, he was arrested
after he rear-ended a car.
His license was revoked and
he was released from prison
after being charged. Later
that night, he was stopped
again by the same officer.
He was again charged with
DWI and driving without a
license.
- readme p. 4 -
Mr. Activities Board: Ok,
it seemed like no one else
wanted to do the job.
readme: What's your
major?
Machete: CS and CS: com-
puter science and cognitive
science.
readme: Can we take your
picture for this interview?
Doesn't like to get his
picture taken: No.
readme: Can we use some-
one else's picture?
~ackie Chan: Yes.
readme: What's your
favofite cheese?
Cheese V~Jhiz: It's interest-
ing that ~Tou ask that
because there was this time
I was in Chicago when I
went around asking people
that same question. I'm not
kidding. Tlie majority of
people said ~-lmerican
cheese. One person
That Poor,
Defenseless Lobster
Anything can happen in Las
omegas. I have a couple of
rashes to prove it. Anywllo,
an FBI agent was fined after
lze fired his handgun twice
at a lobster in a walk-in
cooler. "Tlie only victim in
that case was a lobster, and
Nevada statutes don't pro-
vide for attempted murder
of a lobster," said the
District Attorney.
September 3 -September 10
responded with what's my
favofite kind of cow . . .but
my answer is Munster.
readme: Excellent choice.
readme: So do you have
questions for me?
Smarty: How much more
space do we need to fill this
article?
readme: Ok free associa-
tlOn. AlllgatOY.
I-~ungover: F*~k I don't
know This isn't going to
~rork well, I'm too tired.
readme: What's . your
motto for AB this year?
The Best Chair Ever:
TBAs on sleeping bag
weekends anti more Street
Fighter II machines for the
office.
readme: Can we expect to
see the gentleman's juice
box sponsored by AB?
Chris: I~1ost definitely
readme: Yes!!!! (High f ve)
Imagine What the
Honey Moon Was Like
A woman in Cambodia
turned herself into police
after killing her husband.
Not too out of the ordi
nary, right? She was tired of
domestic abuse, so she
squeezed his testicles until.
he lost consciousness. Tlie
exact cause of death is
Lulknown.
Cheap Movies ~at
McConomy
All the nights, brought to you by AB, except
Saturday which is SDC. 1 Buck.
Wednesday: Roger and Me 8, 10, 12
Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy loses girl,
because her fam1ly moves away, because they
lived in Flint, l~Tichigan, and GM just up and
left. Bov tracks down the CEO of GM to ask
r
him why, and to challenge him to hand to
hand combat, to the death. It's like that, but
without the love story or emotions or any-
thing. Brought to you bti= AB I'olitcal Speakers.
Thursday: Kids 89 10 12
OK, sure, it pis* better without a condom. I
won't go into why I know or anything, it's just
that if you only have u~.pYotected sex with vii=
gins, you'll never get diseased! It's when you
find out one of your exes tests positive for
HILT that you start to wonder. But not too
much or for too long. Teenagers never die.
Except in `Bully," the other film by this guy,
where a bunch of ffiends team up to kill this
bully.
If ti=ou're in a band, ~=ou'll probably have some
awful break up scene and never actually make
it big. But if you DIl~ make it big AFTER the
break up, and so did the other band-frag-
ments, then you'd TOTALLY have to have a
reunion tour. This movie is like that, but with-
out real bands and without them really making
it `BIG" so much as "They didn't pretend like
it never happened."
Saturday: X2: X-Men United 7:30, 10,
12:30
If you haven't seen the ~-Men movie, you're
either a Bork, or you don't want to see this one.
Eveiti=one said this one would be better than
the last one, but then, I didn't see it.
But...DUDE! The second X-Men movie! It's
got good mutants, and bad mutants, and hot
mutants, in both notions of the word, and that
one Ice Tan guy, who's a really COLD
mutant, and and and...just see it, OK?
Sunday: Inferno 8, 10, 12
So, if you were a ~'Iother of Hell, or rather, if
tiTou were Dario Argento, supposing that he
was a 1Vlother of Hell, you'd probably have
plenty to tivnk about. Why? I don't know, but
he made a movie about it, so obviously there
was a lot to think about for 1~n. And you're
r
l,im right? Because we were supposing that.
Anyway, yeah. Don't come on an empty stow
ach.
Issue 7,000,001
This is the Prue section, where we tell you how to live your life
Welcome back to school, all you happy
Tartans! The triumphant return of your
musically-arrogant concert previewer is
upon us, this time, with two previews for
the price of one. Or more so, I couldn't
decide what to preview and didn't want to
gip the entire campus by going with my
gut instinct and only writing about the
Willie Nelson concert. So first, the Sprite
Liquid Mix Tour! This tour debuted last
year with the intention of exposing people
interested in one type of music to other
genres. Sure, this has been the goal with
several tours, most notably, Moby's
Area:One and rrea:Two tours, but Sprite
does a much better job miX;ng it up. For
the sake of time, I'll only consider the
major bands of the tour. On the rap side,
we have critic-faves The Roots, who bring
to the field a style closer to that of old-
school, simply about having fun and
enjoying life. Oh, and they play their own
instruments, a rarit~T in this world of sam-
ples and loops.
Along with The Roots are crossover hit-
makers N.E.R.D., who have lut it big with
the rap crowd and the rock crowd alike,
and who clearly enjoy what they do,
though their st<Tle is much closer to that of
more mainstream rap. Lastly, we have
Talib Kweli, another positive rapper often
likened to acts such as The Roots and
Jurassic 5, an underground rapper from
New York who has been a favorite of crit-
ics for years.
- readme p. 5 - September 3 -September 10
From the Desk of Student
Body President
Dan Gilman
I would like to take this opportunityT to welcome
you all back to campus. I hope that each of you
On this year's incarnation of the Liquid
had a fun and productive summer.
Mix tour, the rock comes by way of jam-
based bands. O.r1.R., favorites of college
This week, I would like to tell you about a won-
kids v~-tually everywhere, are along for the
derful new addition to campus, that I hope most
ride, and Robert Randolph and the Family
of you have already discovered. For the past
Band, a newcomer who has been very
yTear, I have worked very closely with the admin-
well-received, are the main rock acts on
istration and other students to renovate the
the bill. Oh, and this one's well worth it
simply because tickets are a mere ten lower level of the University Center, to provide
students with more recreational space on cam-
bucks, so even if you've never heard of
anyone, odds are you'll find something pus. Over the summer, I watched as the vision
that Brian Namey and I had came to life.
new to listen to.
When yTou go downstairs, you will find four
rind now, because I'm stubborn, Willie
exciting new additions. First of all, you will find
Nelson. He's a freakin' legend! Go see
a beautiful new career center, as well as a central-
him! But seriously, there were four great
ized mail facility. This will give students one
"outlaw singers" in country — Hank
mailbox to be used from the day they move-in,
Williams, Sr., Waylon Jennings, Johnny
until the day they graduate. We are also very
Cash, and Willie Nelson. Williams, Sr. and
happy with the addition of the Andy's Eatery.
Jennings are both deceased. Johnny
Cash's health is failing. Willie Nelson is Andy's will be open until 2:00 r1M every night
and serves a variety of foods, specializing in
still kicking for the time being, and it
smoothies and wraps. Last, but certainly not
might be «rise to check him out while you
least, is the new Scotland Yard Recreation
can. r1t first glance, prices seem steep -
Center. Scotland Yard has several new pool
$85-105. But on closer investigation,
tables, ping-gong tables, an air hockey table,
that's for a table of four. Arid it includes
dinner. So it's effectively $21 for a legend shuffleboard table, digital jukebox and several
video games. This space will. also be open until
and dinner (I did the math out for those
2:00 r1M and will certainly provide students with
CFr1-types like myself who are lost on
a relaxing area to take a break from their work.
numbers). .end sure, Willie falls under
country, but his influence spreads far
This is a great new space that we are very proud
beyond that, particularly into the world of
rockabilly, psychobilly, and even some of, however we are still looking for your feed-
back. If you have any comments on the space,
punk. Fans of acts like Social Distortion,
please contact us through
the Supersuckers, and the Reverend
concerns@andrewcmu.edu.
Horton Heat are well aware of this.
So no matter how you look at it, neither of
these shows is a bad deal, and both are
sure to be well worth the money. It's sim-
ply up to you to pick which one is more
your scene.
::::~>::
....... .......
......... ...................
........ .... ....
...............
:::~:::~;:::::::~::::-:::::::. ~:r:::.: ~:
Talib Kweli
 ~. s On an
Events and T $~ ~_
Wednesday, September 3
concert: Bratz Accoustic @Blues Cafe, 9pm, free before
9:30, ~2 after
exhibit: The American Supermarket @Andy Warhol
Museum 10am-5pm
movie: Rodger and Me. I~TcConomy. 8, 10, 12
Thursday, September 4
event: Activities Fair. Orientation tent. 4:30-6:30pm
concert: The Argument, I~Telbourne @ 123 Pleasant
Street, Morgantown,Z~IV
concert: PB Army @ 31st Street Pub
concert: Songs:Ohia @Club Cafe, 7:30 pm, X10, 21+
concert: Chubby Checker &The Wildcats @
Mountaineer Race Track &Resort, Chester,`~1V, 7:30 pm,
$15 -40
concert: Kenney Fresno @Project 1877
concert: Trapt, Smile Empty Soul, Three Days Grace @
Metropol, 8 pm, X10
concert: Dante's Inferno @Blues Cafe, 9pm, free before
9:30, $2 after
movie: Kids. McConomy. 8, 10, 12
Friday, September 5
conc~:rt: So~~gs:O~.a @ 123 I~ieasant Street,
I~Iorgantown,~~
concert: The Channel Cats Blues Band @Friday After
Five, Cumberland,MD
concert: The Recipe, Banjer Dan @ Hi Land Jam,
Elkins,`~TV
concert: Seven Nations @ I.C. Light Tent
concert: Gaelic Storm, Brother (Australia) @Pittsburgh
Irish Festival, ~8
movie: A Might wind. McConomy 8, 10, 12
Saturday, September 6
bbq: Scotch`n'Soda Theatre BBQ. Donner Ditch. 1-4pm
concert: Joan of Arc, The Microwaves, and Arrivals and
Departures. Orientation Tent. Brought to you by AB
Concerts and `KTRCT 7pm, free
concert: Bongzilla @ 31st Street Pub
concert: The Kelly Richey Band @Arts &Heritage
Festival, Carnegie,PA
concert: The Berlin Project, The Reunion Show,
Distorted Penguins, Buzz Poets, Plain white T's,
Clearview @Club Laga, 6 pm, ~10
concert: Perpetual Groove, Banjer Dan, All Mighty
Senators, Bonepony @ Hi Land Jam, Ell~ins,C~UV
concert: Gaelic Storm, " rother (llustralia) @Pittsburgh
Irish Festival, ~8
concert: Jerry Reed @Jamboree USA, wheeling,`KTV
concert: Dark Star Orchestra @Metropol, 8 pm, X17.50
concert: Los Lonely Boys @Rosebud, 8 pm, ~8
~~' C:ampus
concert: Danu @Station Square
concert: Charlie Daniels Band, Steve Azar @Taylor
County Fair, Grafton,w`; 7 pm, $25
movie: ~~2: Y-Men United. McConomy. 7:30, 10, 12:30
Sunday, September 7
auditions: Scotch'n'Soda Theatre's "DU~aTl'ED!". Sign up
in UC318
concert: Gaelic Storm @Pittsburgh Irish Festival, ~8
concert: Danu @Station Square
movie: Inferno. McConomy. 8, 10, 12
Monday, September 8
auditions: Scotch'n'Soda Theatre's "DUMPED!". Sign up
in UC318
concert: The High Strung @ 123 Pleasant Street,
Morgantown,wV
concert: Rainer Maria, Denali @Club Laga, 7 pm, $10
concert: Willie Nelson @Pepsi Cola Roadhouse,
Burgettstown,P1='~, 8 pm, X85-105 fora 4-person table
Tuesday, September 9
concert: "Sprite Liquid l~1ix Tour" w/ The Roots, O.A.R.,
N.E.R.D., Taub Kweli, Robert Randolph &the Family
B~.nd, Lordz of Brooklyn, Spymob, The ~~Tylde Bunch 5
Skillz, Kelis, Slightly
concert: Stoopid, High Speed Scene, Borialis @
Chevrolet Amphitheater, 4 pm, ~10
concert: Shai Hulud, Fairweather, This Day Forward @
Club Laga, 7 pm, ~10
concert: Willie Nelson @Pepsi Cola Roadhouse,
Burgettstown,PA, 8 pm, $85-105 fora 4-person table
Wednesday, September 10
concert: "Four Men From Now" w/ Adam Carroll,
Beaver Nelson, Jud Newcomb, and Michael Fracasso @
Club Cafe, 7:30 pm, ~8, 21+
concert: Scout Niblett @Quiet Storm
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