LIVING WITH A PARENT

WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS: A

CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE
Presented by:
Nandini Pathak
B.A Hons Psychology- 3rd year
Mentor: Ms. Surbhi Kumar
“ But of all these, I feared most the
possibility that I might go mad too. If
that happened, my only asset would be
taken from me. Growing up I knew I did
not have many advantages. I had no
social skills. I had no friends. I had no
home—no home that was a refuge. All I
had was my mind and that was at peril
from my genes.
— Jerry Pinto
CAREGIVER BURDEN
The negative impact of caregiving on the
mental health and quality of life of the
caregiver.

OBJECTIVE BURDEN
financial loss, disrupted family routine
impairment of work efficiency, reduced self
care, need to cope with symptoms of the
illness among others

SUBJECTIVE BURDEN
caused by feelings and appraisals of the
caregiving role and may be referred to as the
personal suffering experienced in response to
the illness. Social stigma and chronic sorrow are
also components
CONSTANT PURSUIT OF NORMALCY

Rose et al. 2002 proposed that the intensity of the distress,

anger and frustration the members experienced was
contingent on the extent to which they could

(a)revise their notions of being normal to match the

situation,

(b)work with the patient to actually conform to pre-existing

notions of functioning normally,

(c) support the patient to achieve a state of “being happy.”

EFFECT ON PARENT CHILD RELATIONSHIP
➤ They may feel powerless in the family as well as in society at large.
➤ They are weighed down by the stigma of the illness wherein they are
discouraged by their own family members to discuss it outside the walls
of their house.
➤ Mental illness is also associated with marital strife or breakdown.
➤ The parent’s physical availability contrasted by his/her emotional
unavailability may lead the child to perceive him/her as being distant.
➤ The child must also come to terms with the idea that his/her relationship
with their parent may never be the same again.
METHOD

Participants

Case 1. The participant was a 19 year old girl who is studying in Delhi University.
Her father suffers from clinical depression and alcohol-induced psychosis.
She has a nuclear family residing in Delhi. Her family comprises her father,
mother, younger brother and herself.

Case 2. The participant was a 20 year old girl who is studying in University of
Delhi. Her mother suffers from schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder.
Her family comprises her mother, father, elder sister, younger brother and herself.
She lives in Agra.

The participants were sampled through deviant, purposive and quota sampling.
PROCEDURE

• The process started from the conceptualisation of a research

topic that was done by doing an exhaustive review of literature

• A preliminary questionnaire was made with 17 questions.

• Several mock interviews were conducted and feedback was

taken.

• For the purpose of the study, adolescents or adults whose one

parent had been diagnosed with a mental illness were required.

• The data was analyzed using thematic analysis. After the

interview was transcribed it was read and re-read. The entire
interview then was coded. Several similar codes were compiled
to form one theme.
INTERVIEW SCHEDULE
1. Tell me something about yourself and your family.

2. What are your feelings about your childhood?

3. What is your relationship with your parent?

4. When did you come to know about your parent’s mental illness and from whom?

5. What was your INITIAL reaction?

6. Has your relationship with your parent changed since you came to know about the
illness?

7. What are your feelings about your parent’s mental illness?

8. How involved are you in the illness of your parent? Are involved in the medication?

9. How have you dealt with it all these years?

10. Tell me something about your support system.

11. Do you want to know more about the illness or have you been curious about it in the
past?

12. How is your parents’ marriage? Has it been affected by the mental illness?

13. How is your relationship with the other parent?

14. What are your feelings about your other parent?

15. Do you have any fears?

16. How do you think this has impacted you?

17. Do you ever think of an alternative life? 


 THEMES

Convergent Divergent
themes
themes
Image of parent’s
illness
Disillusionment and
poor well-being

Appraisal of family Relationship with the Relationship with the

different from others other parent ill parent
RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHER PARENT
“I think I won’t really last if she was not there I would I
think I would just die if she was not there”

Perception of the “Bachpan se abhi tak mummy k saath itna disturbance rha
other parent as 
 hai clashes rhe hai hamesha papa ne mujhe support kiya hai
support hamesha papa ek shield ki tarah”

“She is always very involved in taking care of him instead of us”

Preoccupation
with the father 

 APPRAISAL OF FAMILY DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS
(P1)“I’m the parent to both my parents”

Parentification 
 “I used to cook for my younger brother and father and pack my own
tiffin”

“they worry about dress to wear tomorrow or what to do and very

Comparison of
simple things that don't really matter to me”
her woes to 

those of others 

“ Abhi bhi log kuch bhi kehte hai ki meri mummy ye karti hai toh 


mujhe lagta hai sach mai maa aisi hoti hai? ”

DISILLUSIONMENT AND POOR WELL-BEING

“Earlier I was told to just shut up.. not talk about it with anyone because
it was like you would be betraying your family or something”
Stigma 


“Sab relatives khush hai apne mai sab mazaak udate hai sabko maza aa rha hai”

“Sometimes I feel I have been an attention seeker” Adverse personal

impact 


“I used to choke. I couldn't breathe and I had pain in my chest”

DISILLUSIONMENT AND POOR WELL-BEING
“I would have been a different person what if my parents were the most
understanding parents in the world and most loving parents in the world”

Idea of an
alternative life 

“ghar ka environment bilkul bhi acha nai tha padhne k liye...agar
mujhe thoda acha environment mila hota toh mai aur achi kar sakti
thi”

“things could go worse for sooner or later it would happen I know that for
sure”
Good days;
“ladaiyan hogi mara piti hogi police aayegi khatam ho jayega Bad days 

relatives aayenge fir uske baad Khatam ho jayega I'm back to normal
firse ye sab cheezein hogi”
IMAGE OF PARENT’S ILLNESS
“ after he gets drunk he knows he would do things that
Choice he shouldn’t do he would go around thrashing things
break things, hurting people, abusing people but he
still does it and the other day he just wakes up as if
nothing has happened”

Locus of
responsibility 


Illness as one with the parent

“ Mujhe aise kabhi yaad nai ki meri mummy kabhi normal thi”
IMAGE OF PARENT’S ILLNESS

Directed towards 

mother
“last to last year he was again like started hurting my mother”

Violence


Generalized and recurring

“mummy-papa ki ladai ho rahi thi bahot buri toh mummy ne papa ka gala dabane ki koshish
ki thi”
“jiji bahot choti thi tab mummy ne usko 1st ya 2nd floor se fekne ki koshish ki thi
dhamkaya tha papa ko ki mai isko fek dungi”
 RELATIONSHIP WITH THE ILL PARENT

Complete
Strained

disidentification


“Maine abhi mumma bhi bola toh mujhe ajeeb laga” “I talk to him only when it is extremely necessary”

“Mujhe bahot shock laga aur mai chalte chalte

ekdum ruk gyi thi toh matlab fir mujhe aise “ I don’t see any effort from him his side”
realize hua ki mujhe itna bura lag rha
hai....mujhe thoda acha bhi lag rha tha uss
cheez pe ki mujhe mummy k liye bura lag rha
hai”
The findings reveal how the effects mental illness of a parent are not restricted to

the house or family life but has its ramifications in all arenas of life. The biggest

fallout of a parent’s illness is marital discord.

In Riebschleger’s (2004) study, the children parent’s psychiatric illness was less

worrisome to them than the other stressors particularly the fear of parents’

divorce.

The coming to terms with the illness as well as forging a satisfying relationship

with the parent greatly affects the wellbeing of the child. Confronting the

ambiguities of the family life, there is a pursuit for normalcy (Rose et al.,2002).
CONCLUSION

The study sheds light on the effects of parent’s mental illness on

the child. There is a sense of loss of childhood, family and
self. The relationship with both the ill and the well parent were
convoluted in their own ways. The relationship with the ill
parent was fraught with avoidance, indifference and distrust in
the first case whereas in the second case there was
disidentification and absence of an attachment figure. Friends
and the other parent were found to be the centre of the support
system.
The experience had left lasting on the personality and the child’s
perception of things, relationships and life outcomes.
IMPLICATIONS, LIMITATIONS AND DIRECTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH
This study has implications for children’s adjustment and coping with
the challenges posed by their parent’s mental illness. The insights
from this study can be useful to suggest possible interventions for
supporting families particularly children in the contemporary times.
There are several limitations to this study. The sample size of two is
very small, even for qualitative studies. The participants were female,
which, in our society, is the gender socialized to be caregivers. This
factor may have influenced the findings. Thus, the findings of this
study cannot be generalized.
For future research, a larger and more representative sample could be
chosen. Illness specific children could be sampled for an
understanding of various specific illnesses on the participant.
“
Thank you!