INTIMATE

RELATIONSHIP
ROYANULLOH, S.PSI, M.PSI.T
CIRI-CIRI INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP (BREHM & KASSIN, 1996)

EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

SALING MELENGKAPI KEBUTUHAN

SALING TERGANTUNG &

MEMPENGARUHI
LIMA ASPEK KEINTIMAN (SHAEFER & OLSON’S, 1981)

Rekreasional

Fisik Intelektual

Sosial

Emosional
 BAGAIMANA DIMULAI?

Proses Memilih
• Friendship
• Love / Romance
Proses Terberi
• Family
• Co-workers
 RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

• Attachment style (Bowbly) : the degree of security an

individual feels in interpersonal relationships (infant
with parents )
• Membentuk dua basic attitudes, yaitu :
o An attitude about self  self esteem
o Concerns other people  interpersonal trust (trustworthy,
dependable, unreliable)
 A style characterized by
ATTACHMENT STYLE
high self esteem and high
interpersonal trust. This is
the most successful and
most desirable attachment
style.
A style characterized by low self
esteem and high interpersonal
trust. This is a conflicted that the
individual strongly desires a
close relationship but feels that
he or she is unworthy of the
partner.
A style characterized by low
self esteem and low
interpersonal trust. This is
the most insecure and least
adaptive attachment style.
Fearful-
Secure
avoidant
A style characterized by high
self esteem and low
interpersonal trust. This is a
Pre- conflicted that the individual
dismissing feels that he or she deserves a
occupied
close relationship but is
frustrated because of mistrust
of potential partners.
RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

PARENTS

OTHERS
FAMILY SIBLINGS
MEMBER
 FRIENDSHIPS

• Close friendship : dapat dimulai sejak • Women report having more close friends
kecil, berlangsung hingga beberapa than men do (Fredrickson, 1995).
dekade
• Women also place more importance on
• Close friendship : Terjadi mutual emotional intimacy (e.g., self-disclosure and emotional
support, memiliki waktu bersama, support) than is true for men (Fehr, 2004).
berinteraksi dalam beragam situasi
• There are many benefits to having close
(Laurenceau, Barrett, & Pietromonaco, 1998;
friends, but there can also be pain when you
Matsushima & Shiomi, 2002)
lose a friend or have to separate
• Close friendship : someone with whom you
can relax & be yourself (Urbanski, 1992)
 ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIP
JEALOUSY : AN INTERNAL THREAT TO
RELATIONSHIP
 MATE SELECTION (BUSS, 1989, 1994)

LAKI-LAKI PEREMPUAN
• Usia lebih muda • Usia lebih tua
• Penampilan • Prospek finansial
• Virginity • Ketersediaan sumber daya (ex:
penghasilan)
• Kapasitas reproduktif
• Ambisi atau keuletan
 MATE SELECTION (GOODWIN, 1990)

Baik laki-laki maupun perempuan sama mencari pasangan dengan kriteria

berikut:
• Kindness
• Consideration (pertimbangan2 rasional atas keuntungan2 yg bisa didapat)
• Honesty
• Sense of humor
 MATE POACHING -- STEALING SOMEONE
ELSE’S MATE

• men were more likely to have attempted mate poaching and to be the victims of mate-
poaching attempts by others (Schmitt, 2004)
• mate poachers tended to be more extroverted, disagreeable, unconscientious,
unfaithful, and erotophilic—being comfortable in talking about sex
• Cultures with more economic resources had higher rates of mate-poaching attempts
• in countries with more women than men, women were more likely to engage in mate
poaching
• And the sex differences in mate poaching tended to be smaller in cultures that were more
gender egalitarian