Building self-esteem in teens

Karla Hylton

Saturday, December 03, 2016

TEENAGERS seem to be having a hard time building and/or maintaining healthy self -esteem eve
n moreso nowadays. This can be attributed to a large extent to the growing social media cultur
e that exists and the fact that parents are now busier than ever before.

Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, but it is an essential need of all humans. It r
eflects a person’s overall evaluation or judgement of his or her worth. Do you feel loved and a
ppreciated? Do you feel capable to perform? How do you feel about yourself?

Self-esteem impacts almost everything your teen does and can definitely have a profound im
pact on academic performance. The relationship between self-esteem and academic performance
is directly proportional. Low self-esteem diminishes a student’s desire to learn and lowers the a
bility, to focus thus decreasing the outcome. Conversely, as self-esteem increases, academic com
petence also increases.

I have had first-hand experience with struggling students whose self-esteem is deflated for m
any reasons. I have found this to be the primary cause for their decreased academic performan
ce.

Teachers and parents must remember that they play an important role in promoting or erodi
ng a child’s self-esteem. Hence, remedial actions will include the combined efforts of teachers, p
arents and the student. If teacher-student communication is good, it is fairly easy for teachers t
o detect those students with low self-esteem. Students with high self-esteem will:
 • express feelings and emotions in a variety of situations;

• exhibit confidence in new situations;

• be less easily frustrated;

• communicate positive feelings about themselves;

• try harder under adverse conditions;

• assist others willingly;

• act independently.

On the contrary, students with low self-esteem will:

• speak about themselves in a derogatory manner;

• appear helpless;

• not volunteer;

• be overly dependent;


 • seek approval

• have difficulty making decisions;

• become easily offended;

• avoid trying new things;

• be easily influenced.

THE ROLE OF TEACHERS

The role of an educator is more than merely teaching a child a lesson.• It includes building
their confidence and modelling good behaviour. Teachers must overcome the challenge of worki
ng with teens who possess low self-esteem in order to restore their self-confidence and to impr
ove performance. This involves nurturing that student by showing appreciation for those things t
hat are done well. It involves the use of positive talk rather than criticism. When you express co
nfidence in their ability to improve, you boost their self-esteem.

Here are a few tips which parents can also adopt:

• Use praise appropriately; do not use empty compliments. Be specific in how you praise yo
ur student. Praise the small steps that are made. If your student is uncomfortable being praised
in front of others, then do this in private.
 • Provide evidence to support progress. Help your student to appreciate his/her improvement
by pointing out specifics. This could be test papers from previous months or it could be math
ematical problems that are now mastered.

• Give the student responsibilities. A student with low self-esteem will appreciate an importan
t classroom job.

This makes your student feel respected and valued.

• Avoid criticism that involves ridicule or shame. It may be necessary to correct inappropriate
actions, but do so responsibly without name-calling or frustration. Unfortunately, many students
have told me stories of teachers name-calling

and rebuking them harshly. I believe this to be out of frustration, but as educators we must
act as adults and role models to our students.

• Give students the opportunity to choose what they learn. Despite having a fixed syllabus fo
r subjects, teachers sometimes have the flexibility to decide the specific topic to be taught at a
particular time.•I often will provide my students with two or three topics from which they can c
hoose the one they wish to move onto next. This makes them feel part of the decision-making
process and boosts their ego, even though eventually we will cover all topics.

• Build on your student’s strengths. Create opportunities for students with low self-esteem to
demonstrate their strength. For example, if you have a student fascinated with kangaroos, find a
way of linking kangaroos to a lesson and ask that student to share information with the rest o
f the class. Again, this makes them feel valued.
 • Do not express disappointment. Even if you do feel disappointed, do not express this to y
our student. This may further erode their already low self-esteem and can be quite burdensome
to the teenager.

• Use mistakes positively; view them as learning opportunities. Turn errors into learning by fo
cusing on what is learnt from that mistake. Mistakes should be used to promote learning. Sharin
g a personal story where you made mistakes and then overcame your challenges will help stud
ents to identify with you and to understand that you are not perfect.

Dr Karla Hylton is the author of Yes! You Can Help Your Child Achieve Academic Success an
d Complete Chemistry for Caribbean High Schools. She operates Bio & Chem Tutoring which sp
ecialises in secondary level Biology and Chemistry. Reach her at (876) 564-1347, biochemtutor100
@gmail.com   or khylton.com 

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