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By Jewish Voice For Palestine

Campus Apartheid Week Edition With an Afterword by Rashida Tlaib


Preface to the Campus Apartheid Edition

Dear Anti-Racist Allies,

Uncle Steven is writing these words from a school bus in Occupied Native America.
Uncle Hassan is writing these words from an occupied cave in Syria.

Both of us are imprisoned in our exile because the greedy Zionists remain in power. They have subjugated the
“liberal democracies” of the imperialist white supremacist capitalist West solely to erase Palestine. And now they
are coming after our diaspora, our brown queer allies, our caves, and our school buses.

But one day, when Palestine will be free


From the River to the Sea
Whether you are Muslim, Latinx, or LGBT
Whatever may be your disability Occupied Palestine

Then we will all be free

Until then, Solidarity!

Steven Salaita and Hassan Nasrallah


PINKWASHING

Zionist Pinkwashing
Pinkwashing is Israel’s deceptive practice of
celebrating itself as a gay paradise in the middle
east. They do this to colonize Palestinian Arabs
marking them as backward oriental homophobic
barbarians who incarcerate and execute their LGBT
community. We demand that Israel stops and treats
its LGBT community as Palestine treats theirs!

Say No To Israeli Pinkwashing


Palestine is a Queer Issue
INKWASHING

HP plays a key role in Israel’s oppression of


Palestinians. It provides Ink Cartridges to the IDF,
which Israeli soldiers fire at innocent occupied
civilians from paint guns.
They say this is “safer” than rubber bullets.
But this is a Zionist lie. It is nearly impossible to get
the ink stains off their clothing in the wash. It’s a
badge of humiliation covered up by Israeli
Inkwashing propaganda.

Say No to Israeli Inkwashing


SHRINKWASHING

Boycott Israeli Psychiatry Israel boasts of its eminent psychiatrists and great
innovations in psychiatric care. Israel markets itself
as the sanest place in the Middle East.
But this is merely a ruse to mask its psychological
colonization of Palestine. Zionists have medically
Orientalized and meshugenized the indigenous
Palestinians, branding them crazy barbarians, who
are too violently primitive to govern themselves.

Reject Zionist Shrinkwashing


Palestine Isn’t Meshugeneh
CODE STINKWASHING
BY A R I E L G O L D

Zionist Stinkwashing

Israel celebrates its cosmetic industry and the


aromatic redolence of its people. It markets itself as
a perfumed paradise in a fetid middle east. But this
is simply an immoral tactic to mask the stench of
Occupation. They have colonized Palestine with
dirty bombs, keeping their indigenous bodies in a
musty malodorous Apartheid prison. This
constitutes Stinkwashing and must be stopped.

Say No To Israeli Stinkwashing


Palestinians Deserve To Smell Like The Jews

Palestinians Deserve To Smell Like The Jews, Even These Ones


The Origins of Our Movement

WTF
How dare you
serve
SodaStream
Palestinian Loss of Land Over Time

12 Tribes of Palestine – 1200 BC Davidic Kingdom of Palestine – 1000 BC Zionist Occupied Palestine - Today

First Temple
Era Palestine

Arafat Kingdom of Palestine

Hamas Tlaib
Mufti

Sarsour
Al-Aqsa

Illegal Zionist
Military Outpost
Illegal Zionist
Ishmael Military Outpost
Meet Our Peace-Loving Partners

Jewish Voice For Palestine is thrilled that so many righteous Gentiles are eager to partner with us in liberating Palestine
from the White Supremacist Yoke of Zionism. If you would like to join our movement, please visit
www.letsendisrael.com and answer our brief questionnaire about the so-called Holocaust™

Remember: It’s not antisemitic if you don’t use the word “Jew”
Highlights from Our Educational Fundraiser For Gaza

Hamas Got Talent


Live Music and Rocket Show – At Oberlin’s Arafat Auditorium and Armory
Featuring a Performance by The Artist Formerly Drawn as ~Muhammed~

Set List:

Performance followed by Tire Burning led by Linda Sarsour and Rasmea Odeh
Where To Go From Here

“Do not say ‘when I have tires I will burn them, when I have rocks I will throw them’, because
you may never have rocks or tires” – Hillel the Elder

So you’re wondering – what’s next?

-Join the American Studies Association


-Go to supermarkets & label kosher food with “product illegally made in Palestine” stickers
-Join IfNotNow, and live stream yourself occupying empty Jewish buildings
-Apply for an internship as the co-pilot for the Steven Salaita Sesame Street School Bus
-Go on Twitter and troll Bari Weiss and The Jewish Daily Forward
-Go on a study abroad program to Gaza and earn Indigenous Studies and Environmental Studies
credits by collecting rubber tires (please be sure to fill out the “accidental” organ harvesting waiver)

Remember: You are now a genuine progressive and global citizen for helping to wipe Israel off the map
Where To Go From Here and What To Read Next

Now in Audible! Read by Dr. David Duke

“From Oberlin to Illinois all the Zionazis have to go, to where exactly we don’t know!”
-Students for a Judenrein Palestine, UIUC

Remember: You are not alone in your ignorance. We are with you. Solidarity.
In celebrat-I mean in commemoration of The
Holocaust, let us remember the safe haven
provided for the white Zionists by our indigenous
brown Palestinian brothers and sisters.

It gives me a calming feeling.

And it makes me want a nosh.

When Palestinians Say “Never Again”, They Eat


Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the following individuals and organizations, for supporting us in our
tireless mission to liquidate Israel so that America will be a safer place for non -cis-
heteronormative disabled people of color
-IfNotNow for reacquainting us with the long forgotten Hebrew prayers we must say for Muslims bearing incendiary devices
-The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign SJP Chapter for allowing a token Jew to advise them
-Ariel Gold and Code Pink for going to Iran and proving they have Jews, a Torah scroll, and gender-neutral bathrooms
-The US Department of Education for granting us Title VI funding
- Former Professor Steven Salaita for allowing us to use his school bus as a tire repository when he is not using it to
transport and teach toddlers about The Occupation, Intersectionalism, and Hezbollah
- Roger Waters for agreeing to spend the night with Linda Sarsour
- Jeremy Corbyn for providing a vision for the future of America
- Eli Valley for his Hitler mustaches
- Nylah Burton, Rebecca Pierce, and The Hipster Rebbe for being Jewish while Black
- And last but not least: Palestine, for being there today, tomorrow, and for having always been the homeland between the
River and the Sea, which Allah promised to the indigenous Palestinians through Scripture, to Moses, Jesus, and Yasser Arafat
This is a work of satire. Any resemblance of its contents to the platform of
Jewish Voice for Peace, IfNotNow, or other progressive [sic] Jewish [sic]
organizations is purely coincidental – albeit incredibly disturbing, but
coincidental, nonetheless.

Brought to you by A Yid in Dixieland

Follow me on Twitter: @ayidindixieland


Also by A Yid In Dixieland

Brought to you by A Yid in Dixieland

Follow me on Twitter: @ayidindixieland