Genesis 2:18-24

MARRIAGE AS GOD INTENDED IT

Rev. John E. Warmuth

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air.
He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living
creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the
beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep;
and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the
LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,' for she was taken out of man.”
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become
one flesh.

(I gather the younger children to the front for a message for them.)

Good morning! Are any of you married? No, of course not! None of you are old enough yet. But, do
you know anybody who is married? (Let them answer.) Oh, you know lots of people who are married.
When people get married they get one of these. (Show a marriage certificate.) This certificate shows
that a man and a woman have made some very, very, special and important promises to each other.
What are some of the promises that people make when they get married? (Let them answer.) One of
the promises they make to each other is that they will stay with each other until they die. Do you think
that is an important promise? Why? It is such an important promise that we heard Jesus say in today’s
gospel reading (Mark 2:12), “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Jesus said something very important about marriage there. He said, “What God has joined together.”
God joins a man and a woman together in marriage. That’s what I’m going to talk about in today’s
sermon. Before I do that, let’s pray for everyone who is married: “Dear Father in Heaven: Please help
all people that are married to keep the promises that they made. Amen.” (Send children back to pews.)

Dear Friends in Christ,

A marriage certificate- (hold up a copy) certainly it is one of the most important documents in a
person’s life. Some people scoff at it a bit, though, saying, “It’s just a piece of paper.” What they mean
by that is that the piece of paper itself does not make a marriage, people make the marriage. There is
certainly truth in that. We can discuss to great lengths the relative merits of a certificate of marriage
and the attitudes of the couple toward marriage. There can be benefit in that. There is much more
benefit to be gained in learning and following what God says about marriage. That’s what we will do
today.

Today’s Old Testament reading records the beginning of marriage, how it began. Today’s gospel lesson
reaffirms what is said there. Together they show us MARRIAGE AS GOD INTENDED IT. Yes, AS
GOD INTENDED IT! Marriage is not a custom of humanity. It is not a practice hominids developed
while evolving out of ape-hood. God designed marriage as the fundamental building block of society.
As marriage goes, so goes society. God also designed marriage as a reflection of, an example of and a
working model of the relationship he wants with us, the crown of his creation. These truths make much
of what society says about marriage wrong and hurtful to society.

I
As God designed it marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman into one flesh. If God had
intended two men or two women to experience the “one flesh” of marriage he would make that very
clear in his Word, the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible do we read of God approving two men or two
women having sexual relationships much less getting married. Though there are examples in the Bible
of one man having more than one wife, we never read of God’s approval of that, and we even see the
troubles it produces for society.

Jesus affirms this truth in the gospels. In explaining what marriage is Jesus makes the point that “at the
beginning of creation God made them male and female” Mark 10:6. Lest we lose the importance of
that statement, understand that even back then there were sizeable numbers of same sex couples in
Greek and Roman society. History shows that the growth of those populations occurred with
breakdowns in society in general and with the ultimate collapse of those societies. When God’s design
for marriage and the sexual union is disregarded society cannot benefit, it can only be hurt.

In the book of Malachi, the last book in the Old Testament, God explained to his people that much of
the reason they saw their society deteriorate was because they were disregarding marriage as God had
instituted it. They were breaking faith with him he said, and political and economic consequences
troubled their society as a result.

We can expect the same in our society. But for us as God’s people in his Church, we will continue to
practice and proclaim God’s will in marriage as he intended it: the union of one man and one woman.
In doing so, we will personally experience his blessing in marriage, too.
II
When God brought Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam fell head-over-heels in love with her. There she
was, the most beautiful woman in the world. OK- she was the only woman in the world, but Adam’s
words show us that he fully understood God’s intentions and what blessings were in store for him.
“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken
out of man.’”

Men, husbands, young men who will be husbands someday, we do well to follow Adam’s lead here in
regard to our wives. Love her. How? View her as the most beautiful woman in the world because she
is, she is your wife, no one else’s. Say that to yourself about her, even say it to her, and you will find
yourself giving yourself to her to make her happy and to make her glad she is your wife. She will in
turn love you, give herself to make you happy and glad you are her husband.

That is what love is. It is committing oneself to doing what is good and best for the other person.
“Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” Adam said. That’s another way of saying, “No other human
being is as important to me as you are.” It’s another way of saying, “I love you, I will do whatever I
can for your good.”

How sad that in our society love in marriage has deteriorated into mere personal feelings. I get this
fuzzy, warm feeling when I’m near him or her. I just feel so good when I’m with him or her. S/he
always makes me laugh or does all these things I like. Remember, though, feelings come and go.
They fly high one minute and sink low the next. That’s why in our society when I no longer get the
warm fuzzy feeling, when I no longer feel so good around my spouse, when I’m not happy, when I’m
not getting what I deserve out of the relationship- I don’t love him or her any more. I’m out because
it’s all about me.

Such a person did not love. That person did not give of self for the good of the other. The piece of
paper said they were married but the person did not love in that relationship.

Husbands, wives, love each other as Christ Jesus loved you, as he gave himself for you so you could
have the happiness of knowing you are fully and freely forgiven all your sins and that eternal life
awaits you.

III
Yes, because of Jesus’ love for you, his giving of himself for your good you have eternal life awaiting
you. There’s a connection there with marriage. Eternal life means not being separated from God and
his goodness forever. Marriage is not separating from one’s spouse, at least in this world.

God intended marriage to be forever in the perfect world he created. That was ruined when Adam and
Eve sinned. They made sure their marriage would not last forever because their sin brought death. We
don’t know which of them died first but death ended their marriage.

Since death is in God’s hands- he gives life and he takes it- death is the only God-pleasing end to
marriage. Any other end to it is always the result of husband or wife or both sinning, of not living in
love toward one’s spouse. God allows for divorce, a legal ending of marriage, when one spouse is
guilty of sexual relationships outside the marriage. That’s not necessarily his desire, but he does allow
it. His desire is for husband and wife to remain in that relationship for life.

Why? It’s symbolic of our permanent relationship with him. Yes, our sin causes problems in our
relationship with God just as our sin causes problems in our marriages. Remember, God has taken care
of that problem of sin for us, both in our relationship with him and with our spouse. He sent his Son
Jesus to live a perfect, sinless life in our place. Though Jesus never married, neither did he ever sin
sexually or cause a marriage to separate. He even endured in his body the terrible suffering we deserve
forever for all our sins in regard to marriage and everything else.

When we recognize and admit that sin to God, he assures us his forgiveness. He continues in his
relationship with us, ultimately receiving us to his home in heaven. So, too, recognizing, admitting our
sin in marriage to God and to our spouse, leads to forgiveness of that sin, a renewing of marital love
and to the longevity of that marriage “until death us do part.” Amen.