Personal Statement

Heart starts beating, fingers start sweating, mind starts racing. Feels like the world is
crumbling down, the walls of my lungs are closing, the tightness of my chest escalates making
me feel like I just might just give up. The feeling I get when a flow of anxiety hits me, is like
everything is closing up on me. For me this moment started when I was just 10 years old. It was
a cloudy day in October, the leaves were starting to turn color. The bright reds were turning into
a rusty type red, the vibrant oranges were turning into more of a bittersweet orange. The wind
was blowing harsher making the leaves go with the rhythm.. I woke up like any other day,
straight to go see my mom but my mom seemed a little down which made me concerned. My
mom was always such a happy person no matter what but today was a different feeling that I got.
A feeling that brought me to the floor when I heard the words “Alexa I need to go somewhere I
love you”. I stood their and the only thing that I could say was “I love you too”. In my 10 year
old head everything took a turn for the worse when she left, I didn’t know how long she would
be gone for. The confusion that went through my head were at an all time high. Tears started
running down my cheeks, my heart felt heavy like if someone put a brick on it. My grandma
came to console me and tell me everything was going to be okay. 3 days passed and my mom
wasn’t back, a week passed and no sight of my mom, by a week and a half I stopped counting.
Finally, I woke up one morning and I went straight to the kitchen because I heard a familiar
voice, it was my beautiful mother standing their with her arms open ready to embrace the huge
hug I was about to give her. I asked her, “Where did you go, why did you leave” and she said “I
had to get some help”. I was confused and asked for more details. She said “You’ll understand
when you get older but don’t worry, I am more healthy”. I just continued to hug her, the smell I
got from her was something I can’t ever get out of my head. It was a smell I’ve never smelled
before, a faint smell of purification, I smell of resilience. A million scents would never give
justice to that one smell that I encountered. This wasn’t the first time that I smelled this aroma,
their was another time where she had to go away again. This has affected the way my mentality
is. I started to realize that people go through a lot while they're growing. I realize that life is
going to start getting more difficult and I am going to have to deal with it. This is when I started
to overthink a lot and make a huge deal out of nothing. Anxiety was the primary source of
making situations harder to bear. I was struck with so much pain that by the age of 14 I was
diagnosed with depression.
My role model, my mom, has always been a fighter since she was diagnosed with lupus
at the age of 21. This is an illness with no cure. Not only did she have lupus but she had other
conditions that she still has to this day. It broke my heart to see my mother in the hospital
suffering most of the time. This affected me more when I was growing up and going through my
own hardships. When I entered High School I was terrified that my anxiety would worse, truth
be told it did. Freshman year I was put in all honors classes, the sight of that scared me but I
surpassed the year with A’s, B’s and a couple C’s. My GPA was 3.2 by the end of the year.
Although that wasn’t of a high standard, I put a lot of pressure which eventually made my
anxiety worse. Sophomore year was the year that tore me to shreds. I walked in sophmore year
not feeling the best about who I was and what I was putting out their in the world. I stopped
caring about my grades and this is why I went down the amount of honor classes that I had
freshman year. I still kept a couple but I would never be able to stay focus because I was dealing
with my mental health. I was depressed, I didn’t feel like doing anything. I was dealing with
family, relationship and health issues. Towards the end of the year it seemed to get better, I got a
little more motivated. I ended sophomore year with a 3.5 GPA, when I started I had a 3.5. Junior
year was hard mentally, I had really horrible anxiety and depression. In the beginning of the year
my mom was in the hospital due to meningitis which made me super scared to lose her so I was
struggling. Although I was struggling and going to therapy and almost wanting to just give up, I
didn’t and I did the best my junior year passing with a 4.0 in both semesters which raised my
overall cumulative GPA to a 3.6. I have faced so many problems but I overcame them.
I learned that anxiety and depression is controlled by yourself. If you want to be happy you
can be happy but if you're going to be sad you are going to be a sad person. It all depends on you
at the end of the day because it's your mind and your body. It isn't a simple life but it isn't going
to get easier if you make your life hard for yourself. If you keep overthinking and telling
yourself that you're not going to make it through hard times ,you're not going to because it all
depends on the mindset that you have. I've learned so many lessons throughout my years of
living even though I am still very young I am ready to learn so much more.
I have decided to become a clinical psychologist because I want to be able to help other
people when they are facing the challenges that I faced when I was younger and still to this day.
I want people to come into my office and let everything out and then come out of my office with
a smile on their face or at least feeling a little bit better. Being a clinical psychologist is my
dream so that's why I want to pursue it. I want to be very successful and by successful I mean I
want to be the best clinical psychologist that a person can have. As long as I know that I am
helping people that's the greatest gift that I can get. I've always loved helping people out with
their problems and I'm the type of person that likes to listen to other people and give them
advice. I want others to be able to trust me and help people move up and not down.