Whenever we talk of Indian wedding, we try to associate it with arranged marriages.

Due to the
social structure, the concept of arranged marriage is prevalent in the Indian wedding scenario,
since ages. On the other hand, love marriages were considered as a taboo among many Indian
people, who do not have a modern outlook of life. For them, two people should tie the wedding
knot only with the consent of their parents and the blessings of their relatives.

Nonetheless, love marriages are prevalent in almost all the societies of India, given the fact that
they are still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by many parents in the country. People
supporting the concept of love marriage strongly believe that it is very important to know the
partner before marrying him/her. On the other hand, people who believe in solemnizing the
wedding with the permission of parents and relatives think that arranged marriages are long
lasting. In this article, we have discussed love marriage vis-à-vis arranged marriage.

Pros & Cons of Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage

When it comes to love marriage, the two people tie the nuptial knot only after falling in love with
each other and probably, after knowing each other for a long time. They get ample time to
explore both the good and the bad things about each other, well before marriage. This helps them
to develop a good comfort level after marriage, very effortlessly. On the other hand, if two
people do not know much about each other, when their marriage is arranged by their parents,
then they might take some more time to develop a level of comfort, understanding after
marriage. Here, love marriage scores more
than arranged marriage in this case.

It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In
case of love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have
fallen in love before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more
from his/her partner. On the other hand, compromise and adjustments form the foundation of
arranged marriage, largely because the married couple does not have any preconceived notions
or expectations from one another. The compromise factor might work wonders in case of most of
the arranged marriages, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for
altercation. Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as long lasting and better than
love marriage.

In case of arranged marriage, the married couple could resort to their parents or acquaintance at
the time of financial crises or other problems. In addition, if the marriage proves to be a failure,
they have a number of people around them to put seek support or to put the blame on. Their
parents would come forward to solve the problems between the couple, if they have married with
the elder's consent. This is the reason why arranged marriages are considered secure for the
people in India.

On the other hand, the couples who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their
crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment
drives the parents and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any
financial or moral support - a common sight seen in love marriages in India. Due to this factor,
many people do not want to marry without their parent's consent, because they would be
ultimately cut off from the family ties.

Friends, v r part of Indian society n culture where family plays a great part in the
most important decision of our lives and the irony is that we too r aware of this fact
n in very deepest of our hearts.After all family comes first.. True..very..true. Even
our family members know this and after finalising every thing the statement
comes," Bhai, ask them both, it's their life; beta ji, aapko manzoor hai?' { Koi other
option hai kya??} ... ... ... ... So,, Now the question arises-- which is a better
option?.... to love before marriage ::: to love after marriage::: or to love forever,
before n after both {Is it possible??? I doubt so.. wt say.} ... So I conducted a survey
with my near n dear ones and the result is........Silly question.[she is definitely
mummy].......................Ofcourse arranged one, it has family
bondings,respect,security,,,,,[jai mata di, let's walk]....................I hate luv stories.
[oye, Imran is so cooool...khan not haashmi].....................Definate love marriage,I
never play blind[oo la la] ....................Arrange..afterall v need sumone to blame
lateron [practical very practical]....................same hi hai yaar. [???????????---no
other meaning plz]........................Kya farak hai , Indian boyfrnd ho ya
husband..same mentality.[no idea.. is this so..]...................Whatever who cares.[I
love this attitude]...............................… Husband is a husband,, he can never be a
lover..love will fly away after marriage.[too pessimistic..or
realistic??] ........................................… any other opinion..????.. plz share.

Arranged marriage is a very old custom practiced in North America, South America, Europe, the
Middle East, Asia, South Asia, South East Asia and Japan. The custom still occurs due to
tradition in rural cultures as well as in aristocratic families. Usually the parents accept the duty of
discerning who would be the best match for their child. Although both arranged and love
marriages are acceptable in many cultures, they have very different characteristics, outcomes and
emotional affects on individuals. They also differ in how they are used, where they are used and
who would be interested in using them. For starters an arranged marriage is sometimes done for
reasons such as culture, money, bloodlines, vocation, reputation, convenience and ability to find
a mate resulting in never being alone. Love marriages are the ones where two people fall in love
and decide they want to share that love for the rest of their life, in a committed and long
marriage. An arranged marriage can always find love, but it usually doesn’t start with love.

What are the Benefits?

One major benefit of a love marriage is knowing that you have someone who loves you and will
protect you for as long as you’re together. You have the comfort, piece of mind, and knowledge
that you’re genuinely happy with this person. An arranged marriage can come with knowing you
will not be alone, making those happy who wanted the marriage and in some cases it is the only
way for a person to keep their wealth.

Is It Real Love?
An arranged marriage can start off love-less if you don’t know the person you’re being arranged
to marry, but the truth is love does usually come. When you are with someone for so long, a
sense of love, understanding and comfort tend to come along in the package. A love marriage
although it may seem real, could possibly be a lust marriage or based on delusions,
misunderstanding, lack of self-knowledge or misrepresentations. I don’t think you can really say
if either is real, but both will generally have love, maybe not being in love, but love will be
present.

How Long Does Each Last?

A marriage always varies from person to person, but it has been shown that many arranged
marriages stay together longer then love marriages. The reasons for this are a few, but one in
particular is that an arranged marriage wasn’t based on love in the first place. They are usually
done for a personal benefit or to keep a family happy. The thought of disappointing so many
people creates a strong bond and will. A love marriage isn’t about making others happy; it’s
about making the partners involved happy. So when things get tough or unbearable, those in a
love marriage are generally able to escape via divorce. Whereas in an arranged marriage, it’s not
as common to escape, even if the marriage is unfulfilling. It is well known that 50% of all
marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.

Summary
• An arranged marriage is usually done with the consent of the partners involved. Many
arranged marriages involve two strangers or two people to get to know each other briefly
before choosing to accept the partner chosen and/or accepted by their families.
• Love marriages are generally acts of love that one human being feels for another, wanting
to spend their whole life together and committed to one another.
• Love marriages are full of emotions and thoughts of a beautiful passionate future with
their other half but this is no guarantee of success.
• An arranged marriage can be categorized as a love-less marriage in the beginning, but
also with a strong feeling of care and respect. Love may come after a period of time.
• Arranged marriages means getting to know their spouse better afterthe wedding, a love
marriage has two people who already know and love one another.
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• It binds two individuals into a strong relationship with well-defined rights and
obligations. Marriage gives rise to families comprising man, woman and children, and
thus helps create the basic building block of human society.

Marriages fulfil the primal human need for intimacy and emotional nourishment. The
partners help each other emotionally and financially, and accept a functional division of
responsibilities in the house to make the relationship successful. This is the reason why
there is hardly any other human relationship that can match marriage in its scope and
depth. Marriages are basically of two types – arranged and those based on mutual
attraction between the partners.

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages were once common throughout the world, but today this institution
mostly survives in the eastern countries such as India and China. These are formal affairs
with the involvement of many other people apart from bride and groom. In this, the latter
two are usually total strangers and have not even seen each other before the marriage is
arranged.

The decision about the suitability of the partners for each other is a collective decision
taken by their relatives such as parents, uncles, aunts and so on. The families hunt for a
good match by asking other people, going through matrimonial websites and even giving
advertisements in newspapers. Arranged marriages have their own advantages and
disadvantages.

Pros: In arranged marriages, the decision whether to tie the knot with a particular
individual is taken with the involvement of many people. The biggest benefit is that there
is a conscious attempt to match the two families as well as the bride and groom on the
parameters of social status, financial strength, background, educational opportunities and
similar lifestyle. This is a cool-headed decision that is thought to tremendously increase
the likelihood of the marriage succeeding.

Cons: In an ideal scenario, the partners have a major say in arranged marriage. They give
the final nod as to the choice of their spouse. However, things do not always go like this.
In many arranged marriages, the parents and relatives are often overbearing and try to
force their child into a relationship he or she doesn’t agree with. This can be a very
difficult situation that may condemn the partners to living lifelong in a marriage that they
are not happy with.

Love Marriages

Love marriages are the norm in western countries where individual freedom and
aspirations are considered more important than what the society, parents or relatives
 expect from a person. In love marriages, the onus of choosing a spouse completely rests
with the bride and groom.

It is a very personal decision in which nobody can claim the right to get involved.
Whether the marriage turns out to be successful or a failure, the partners have no one else
to blame. Typically, love marriages occur between childhood or college friends, office
colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances.

Pros: The biggest benefit of love marriages is that they are based on the principle of
individual freedom. There is no coercion or pressure involved. These relationships are a
result of blood chemistry between two individuals. They meet each other, sparks fly and
after a brief period of courtship, they get married. Such marriages have a good chance of
success because they arise from mutual attraction. They are not an artificially created
union as in an arranged marriage.

Cons: Love marriages are successful only if a person has chosen wisely. This is not often
the case because many such marriages are not a result of any careful deliberation or
insight but raging hormones. As a result, after some years when the novelty wears off, the
partners begin to lose interest in each other and try to broaden their horizons with new
love interests. Often, there is a mismatch between social status, educational
qualifications, financial resources and life’s goals and aspirations of the two individuals,
which after some time becomes a cause of friction and eventually leads to divorce.

Arranged Marriages and Divorce Rate

There is a widely held view that arranged marriages lead to a much lower divorce rate
compared to love marriages. This is because historically, the divorce rate has been
extremely low in societies where arranged marriages have been the norm. In contrast,
western societies where love marriages prevail are now witnessing a divorce rate that is
as high as 50 percent.

However, this statistic only reflects the attitude prevailing toward divorce in eastern
countries. There, divorce is considered nothing less than a social stigma and divorced
people find it difficult to remarry. This is actually the main reason for the low divorce
rate as the unhappy marriage partners prefer to suffer quietly than to part ways due to the
fear of social ostracism.
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