Running head: RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 1

Rape Women are Considered Untouchables by Men

Samra Khalid

Roll #: 20-10757, Section: C

Forman Christian College

(A Chartered University)
RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 2

Abstract

Rape has been in the human race from the beginning but to this very day talking about it is

considered a taboo. Just like the way people dislike talking about the issues related to rape, the

victims of this crime are ignored as well. People forget that they are also humans and treat them

as something called ‘The Untouchables’. These victims are not helped in anyway despite the

fact that it wasn’t their fault that the rape happened, They face problems in carrying out a normal

life which includes going to school, at work, spending time alone or with people and of course

marriage. Women who are victims of rape face a lot of difficulties whether married or not

because people usually think that it was the fault of the victim or she must have seduced the man

in some way or the other. In order to confirm the thinking of men about rape victims, a

questionnaire was circulated among people targeting men in order to discover whether they

would ever marry a rape victim or not.

Keywords: Women + Rape + Untouchables + Marriage

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Introduction

“Rape is an act of violence which occurs when someone takes control over another by the

use of physical threats or force, or by exploiting another person’s inability to give or withhold

consent for sex” (Atkinson, 2008). Sadly Pakistan has a culture where talking about rape is a

taboo but excusing the people committing the assault is fine. The countries like India and

Pakistan are male dominant societies and women do not have a say in these societies. In such

societies, manhood is believed to be dominant and sexually aggressive. Males can get away with

practically anything since as the popular saying goes, “boys will be boys”. On the contrary,

women are considered to be weak and submissive and should do everything according to men’s

likings. People in these societies consider it to be okay to put a women’s self-esteem down in

order to make the man happy. We consider Asia as a male dominant region where there is a lot

of gender discrimination but unfortunately less or more this problem is a part of the western

regions as well.

Rape is a very common problem in many countries which means that women aren’t safe

in any part of the world be it The United States of America or be it Pakistan. The story of Tess

of the d’Urbervilles (Hardy, 1892) written by Thomas Hardy is no different than the problems in

the modern world, because Tess was raped and was later blamed for it by the man she loved the

most. Many rape victims today are blamed by the people around them for being responsible for

the incident which again gives the abuser a chance to get away with what he did. Telling a rape

survivor that she must have asked for it or she must have done something which may have

aroused the abuser sexually would do nothing but make the victim more sick and disturbed. The

men in our society always look for a maiden for marriage, why is that so? Why can’t they just

accept such a women who has been subjected to an assault before? Why don’t they consider
RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 4

thatshe didn’t choose to become a rape victim? Sadly our society incorporates those who are

strong but abandons those who are weak and that is one of the drawbacks of South Asian society.

We belong to a society where we do not tell the guys to behave instead we tell the girls to stay

inside which clearly depicts gender discrimination. Though the case isn’t the same in the west

still rape and assault are reported there as well which leads to the queries like ‘Are all the men

same? ‘ . The answer would be ‘ALMOST’ and it can also be justified by the movie“All men

are the same”(Benítez, Orengo &Pereira, 1994) in which three divorced men share a flat. They

live together without trouble till they hire a cleaning lady with whom the three flirt which

basically shows that men are allowed to do everything even hitting on girls even after being

divorced is not a big deal for them where as a women who has been separated from her husband

does the same thing is called by different inappropriate names. These are the double standards of

our society and the bitter truth is that they are here to stay.

Men in our society do not prefer to marry women who have been raped or have been

subjected to any kind of sexual assault. Sadly nobody ever thinks how a rape victim feels after

the incident when people start blaming her for the incident saying “She was dressed like a slut,”

“She is very promiscuous,” and many many more excuses for rape crimes take the blame off the

perpetrator” (Horzepa,2012). It is also said that men tend to commit rape because of their lack of

control over their sexual desires which again throws shade on the sufferers. Many rape victims

have claimed that they find it hard to trust someone after the incident be it their family or very

old friends which clearly shows that they need someone who could understand how they feel or

how the look at the world after the incident, they need a companion or a friend who is more

compromising and loyal to them.

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Tess was a girl who went through all these things because her parents were the first ones

to tell her that she was a disgrace o their family and that she had to leave the house later her own

husband left her after he got to know her past. All these social norms have been here for a long

time, it wouldn’t be wrong in saying that the whole world is male dominated because it is not

only a problem in Asian countries in fact it’s moreover a global issue.

Question

Why don’t men in our society accept rape victims as wives?

Literature Review

Men in general do not understand how to react when they get to know that any girl

belonging to them, whether their sister, daughter, wife or even girlfriend has been raped as

mentioned by(Fanon, 1968; Mere, Note 1) .“Do they see her as a person in her own right who

has been hurt by the assault, or do they view her more as their possession whose value has been

diminished.” (Fanon,1968), this shows the possible ways men might think about a women who

has been subjected to sexual abuse, many think that it is the fault of the victim herself. As

mentioned in the article, rape is not considered as an incident but as a proof of a woman’s bad

character (Holmstrom, & Burgess, 1979) which shows that men do have mixed feelings and

emotions when they get to know about their girlfriend’s or wife’s sexual assault as they are either

not ready to accept the reality of their partners life or in most of the cases take it as a personal

failure in protecting them. Holmstrom & Burgess (1979, p.322) in their article also mentioned

that there are many conflicting thoughts in a man’s mind when he gets to know about the rape
RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 6

which include thoughts like perceptions and feelings about who is hurt, the desire to catch the

guy and the third and the last ‘if only’.

Men tend to get very territorial about their possessions which include their wives,

therefore the article can be looked upon by the angle that they do not want their partner to be

imperfect in any way specially if it is related to something so sensitive, they are afraid to marry

such women and that is why they try to confirm their virginity beforehand. Holmstorm&

Burgess (1979) say that as they conducted their research, they came across surprising reactions

of the husbands/boyfriends who when got know that their wives/girlfriends were rape victims.

About 15 of them took it personally failure, completely focusing on their own feelings and

emotions and not thinking about what the women had been through saying that feel as if they

have been betrayed or cheated upon which is followed by the statement given by one of the

wives when her husband got to know about the incident, saying” I’m having problems with my

husband. He doesn’t want me around his family. He told his mother on Sunday and said he was

ashamed of me. He said I shouldn’t have been working there [where it happened], that it was my

fault that I had been working there.” (Holmstrom, & Burgess, 1979, p.321) While seven of them

felt bad for what their wives/girlfriends have gone through and wanted to get the person caught

who committed the crime.

Another study shows that men do not always like to accept the mistakes made by the ones

of their kind. Sikweyiya, Jewkes, & Morrell (2007, p.50) state that “Men may be disinclined to

see anything wrong with their behavior”, which shows that men do not generally accept their

nature or the lust or the urge of sex and do not even like to talk about such topics. It is the

women who has to face and is ashamed by the society just because of a crime or a sin that a man

has committed. Sikweyiya, Jewkes, & Morrell (2007) have conducted a study in the African
RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 7

region interviewing the men and asking them questions about rape and it is known that the

African and South Asian culture is pretty similar in terms of conservativeness. In fact it can be

said that Africans are more conservative about their women, but men in their society, even

though they might have sexually abused women, were hesitant to talk about it openly during the

interview. This idea clearly depicts the nature of men showing that even if a man himself has

committed rape, he would never accept a rape victim as his wife or for marriage and that might

be one of the reasons why men do not accept raped women as wives because they are moreover

like a mirror to them showing them all of their mistakes. It is well known that men have

egotistical issues which is why they would never want to accept a women who has been used by

some other man before, be it a rape victim or a divorced woman.

In a video, (WeDoCrazyStuff s, 2014) a social experiment was carried out in which an

interview was conducted in a mall with random people irrespective of their gender but mostly

focusing on the males. The basic question asked in that interview was “Would you marry a rape

victim?” The answers were pretty much expected and most of the men said ‘NO’. The

experiment was carried out in India and the culture of India is no different than that of Pakistan

so it is obvious that both of the countries also share the same mind set, no matter how much they

get educated, their thinking will remain conservative and that is why most of the people didn’t

wanted to marry a raped women because they believed that they cannot if they wanted to

respectfully live in a society. This video clearly shows how the society has an impact on

peoples’ thinking, even though those men knew that in a rape, it is not the victims fault weren’t

ready to accept one. Another volunteer who participated in the experiment answered that he

wouldn’t marry a rape victim because of the after effects of the incident including the change in

the woman’s personality, the way her thinking and attitude changes towards things and the
RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 8

difficulty she faces in accepting and trusting people again. He clearly said that it was hard for

him to deal with the mood swings and mental state of such a woman. This might be one of the

reasons why men are afraid to accept a rape victim because the doubt that they would be able to

handle her and accept her properly. The video had participants irrespective of their age as well

and it was sad to see that boys ranging from the age of 15-16 carried the same thinking as well.

It is strange when people say that they’ll marry a rape victim if it is not their fault, why don’t

they understand that the woman is being called a victim because it was wasn’t her fault,

something was imposed upon her without her consent or maybe they do not know the meaning of

being a victim. This thinking is hard to change now as it has almost become a part of our culture

that ‘Rape victims are untouchables.’

Methodology

This research was conducted through the following method.

Participants:

About 8 students (all of them being males) were chosen for this research studying English

at Forman Christian College as the topic required the opinion of men, about how they felt if they

are asked to marry a rape victim. The students who were mostly targeted were the ones who had

already read Tess of d’Urbervilles (Hardy, 1892) so that they could better relate with the

questions and fill up the requirements for a good research. The students who filled out the

questionnaire fell into the age group of early twenties.

Material:
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A survey was conducted and used that contained around eight questions including the

answer choices of Yes, No or Maybe and even some short questions about the story of Tess itself

and about what they would have done if they were in a similar position.

Procedure:

As this topic was a little complicated and people do not open up easily, the research was

conducted indirectly bringing in the novel which discusses the life story of a girl named Tess, in

order to bring out how men actually feel about marrying a raped woman. Most of the students

were hesitant while answering the questions therefore one of the professors of the English

department made the whole class read and understand the story of Tess under his supervision so

that it would become easier for them to understand the purpose behind this research and they

would give their true opinion without any pressure

Findings

This research brought up an issue in our society which is actually a taboo to discuss

openly, it’s about why men do not choose to marry a sexually abused woman and why don’t they

consider it as a pride to shoulder such a person.

Following were the results at the end of the survey.

Qs. Yes No Maybe

1. Was Tess pure? 62.5% 37.5% 0%

2. Did Tess deceive 87.5% 12.5% 0%

Angel?
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3. Did Tess deserve to 25% 75% 0%

be left alone?

4. Angel should’ve 100% 0% 0%

considered that Tess

did not get raped by

choice

5. Are rape victims 62.5% 37.5% 0

treated unfairly?

6. Any laws against 12.5% 37.5% 50%

rape?

Question 7 had the answers including straight away no’s and maybes.

Question 8had responses in which most of the people said that they wouldn’t have left Tess if

they were in Angel Clare’s position where as the others said that their decision would depend on

the circumstances and consequences.

Discussion

Most of the students who participated in this research were the ones who had read Tess of

d’Urbervilles (Hardy, 1892) and responded well to the questions related to the novel. Many even

showed a lot of sympathy for the young girl and said that Angel Clare wasn’t justified for

leaving Tess after knowing that whatever happened wasn’t in her control and that raped women

in our society do not get enough respect in our society but sadly none of them knew whether
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there were ant proper laws or the protection of women against rape or not but the whole research

took a new turn when they were asked whether they would marry a sexually abused or divorced

women on which most of them said that “ IT DEPENDS”, which means that they weren’t sure

about accepting a rape victim as a wife many of them even said that depends upon the

circumstances. Surprisingly, those men who in the previous questions looked like true feminists

ended up with straight up no’s when they were asked whether they would marry a rape victim.

This shows that even if men feel bad about the way the victims of sexual assault are treated, they

would never have enough courage to accept them as wives. It was a bit hard to conduct this

survey because the society of this country doesn’t permit us to talk about such topics so openly

and people usually give biased answers considering the fact that people would judge them if they

wouldn’t answer according to other’s expectations which means that they do not always say what

they actually feel. Many students who were filling out the questionnaire said that the questions

were very blunt and that they hesitating a bit. It can be concluded that one of the reasons why

most of the men do not intend to marry rape women is because of the pressure of the society.

They think that it would be hard for them to live in a country like Pakistan where people do not

easily digest the fact that someone married a person who one of the untouchables.
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Conclusion

The research conducted on ‘Rape victims are considered untouchables by men’ was

based on the way our society is no less than a segregated place for such people and how they are

mistreated by people and the reasons why nobody wants to accept them. It’s a bitter reality that

those women who were once a part of the society are cornered and isolated in such a way as if

they are dead. It is strange how our people instead of helping such women in gaining their

confidence back make them feel like it was their fault that they got raped. Men mostly do not

marry rape victims because they can’t, even if they want to our society doesn’t permit them to do

so, because of the fallacy that a woman’s virginity decides her character and future.
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References

Benítez, C. , & Orengo, C. (Producers), Pereira, M. (Director). (1994). All Men Are the Same

[Motion Picture]. Spain: 20th Century Fox.

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39XcYQyZ0ks

Fairchild, H. (1994). Frantz Fanon's The Wretched of the Earth in Contemporary

Perspective. Journal of Black Studies, 25(2), 191-199. Retrieved from

http://www.jstor.org/stable/2784461

Hardy. T (1892). Tess of the d’Urbervilles. New York, NY: Harper & Bros.

Holmstrom, L., & Burgess, A. (1979). Rape: The Husband's and Boyfriend's Initial

Reactions. The Family Coordinator, 28(3), 321-330. doi:10.2307/581944

Retrieved from

http://www.jstor.org/stable/581944?cid=textanalyzer&seq=2#page_scan_tab_contents

Horzepa, R. H. (2012, August 05). Relationships After Sexual Assault [Blog post].

Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hayley-rose-horzepa/surviving-sexual-

assault_b_1561284.html

Matthew Atkinson. (2008). A Man’s Guide to helping a Woman who has been raped [PDF file].

Retrieved from http://www.capefearpsych.org/documents/Rape-mensguide.pdf

Sikweyiya, Y., Jewkes, R., & Morrell, R. (2007). Talkingabout Rape: South African Men's

Responses to Questions about Rape. Agenda: Empowering Women for Gender

Equity, (74), 48-57. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/27739342

RAPE VICTIMS ARE CONSIDERED UNTOUCHABLES BY MEN 14

Appendix A

Questionnaire

MAJOR:

AGE:

SERIES:

The present survey is being conducted to find out males’ perspective about women in the same

position as explained in Tess of the d’Urbervilles .

Tess of the d’Urbrvilles is a story of a girl from the Victorian era named Tess who got raped by Alec, one

of her extended family members and was later expecting his child who was born but was very sick and

weak, she named him Sorrow. Sadly the child died after a few weeks of his birth and Tess decided to

move on with her life after baptizing and burying Sorrow. Tess’s family was ashamed of her because of

the fact that she wasn’t a maiden and was a disgrace to the family so she moved out of the village where

nobody knew about her past and went to work at a dairy farm as a milkmaid where she met Angel Clare

who fell in love with her and wanted to marry her at any cost but Tess wasn’t ready to get married as she

was afraid that after knowing her past Angel will refuse to marry her, she even tried to convey her

message to him through a letter but somehow he missed it so Tess waited and told him everything after

marriage upon which Angel blamed her for the incident and told her that it was her fault.

1. Do you think after being raped Tess was still pure? Please elaborate your answer.

a) Yes

b) No

____________________________________________________________________________
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2. Do you think that Tess deceived Angel by telling him about her past after marriage?

a) Yes

b) No

3. Do you think that Angel was justified for leaving Tess after knowing her past?

a) Yes

b) No

4. Do you think that Angel should have considered the fact that whatever happened to Tess was

without her consent?

a) Yes

b) No

5. Do you feel that rape victims are treated unfairly in our society?

a) Yes

b) No

6. Do you think there are any proper laws made to protect women from rape?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Not sure

7. Would you ever marry a woman who has either been raped or divorced?

______________________________________________________________________________

8. If you were in Angel Clare’s position what would you’ve done?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________
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