[Sentencing Statement by Jinsoo Kim]

When I answered a call from my father’s phone on

Mother’s Day, 2018, I immediately knew that something
horrible had happened. It was not my father on the other
end of the line, but an unfamiliar doctor introducing
himself. The doctor explained that my father was in a
coma, with little to no hope of him ever waking from it. I
can still feel the shock from that call. Almost everybody
assumed that my father had slipped and hit his head at
the Citibank ATM. Just to see if we could figure out what
happened, I requested the ATM footage from Citibank
the next morning. They called me a few hours later, and
told me that my father was assaulted, and that the attack
was caught on camera. I can still feel the shock from that
call as well.
Many people that knew my father have said that he was
the nicest person they have ever met, genuinely
concerned about the well-being of all. He devoted 50
years of his life to teaching others the value of human
rights, kindness, and compassion. He planned on writing
a book about the small happinesses in life, and how they
are important, yet often overlooked. Who would hurt
such a peaceful, loving man? I had an image of his
attacker as a monster, cruel, heartless. Thanks to the
ATM footage, Mr. Lee was apprehended just two days
after the attack, without incident. A small happiness
there, you could say. Over the next few months, the
detectives on the case and Assistant DA Yoran told me
details about Mr. Lee. The more I heard, the more my
anger at him became my sorrow for him. Mr. Lee had no
previous record, he lost his father in 2013, he lost his
mother in 2014, and had fallen behind on rent after he
had to pay his medical bills. When I heard that he
confessed and said that he was sorry for what he did, my
anger shifted again, towards understanding. Perhaps
sensing this, Assistant DA Yoran suggested, as an option,
that Mr Lee and I could participate in a restorative justice
circle, meet each other and talk about what happened. I
am grateful that she did so - having the choice to have
the meeting or not was empowering in itself. The
decision was not immediate, and was not taken lightly.
Did I want to keep the anger and hate that I felt, or did I
want to be free of it? Neither choice would bring my
father back. If I kept that hate, it would be with me
everywhere I went. I would bring it into my home - into
the same room as my wife and our infant daughter.
Being surrounded by my family and their joy and love
made my hate and anger towards Mr. Lee even more
jarring and self-destructive.
I wondered what my father would have wanted. He lived
under the Japanese occupation of Korea, and saw the
horrors of the Korean War firsthand, yet he taught the
value of peace, justice, mercy, understanding, and
forgiveness afterwards. He understood that anger and
grief are different – anger is hate, grief is love.

To honor his legacy, it became clear that it was

appropriate to have the meeting with Mr. Lee. We did so
on November 19th 2019.
Letting go of the anger does not guarantee that the hurt
will go away. I am still sad that my daughter will never
meet my father. I’m sad that I never got to hear my dad’s
voice one last time. I’m sad that he never got to write his
book. I’m also sad that we live in a world where too
many people have to choose between paying for their
healthcare, their housing, and their food.
Mr. Lee - during our meeting, I made a conscious
decision not to say “I forgive you”. Even after our
meeting, I was not sure that I would ever say those
words to you - those words are not to be spoken lightly.
For guidance, I looked up the definition of “Forgive". To
forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful towards
(someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Mr Lee. - you made a terrible, terrible mistake when you
attacked my father. But I am grateful that you had the
strength and courage to do the right thing afterwards.
You confessed, accepted responsibility for your actions,
and apologized to my family deeply and repeatedly. I am
glad that I had heard your words directly, not filtered
through lawyers. I believe you when you say that you are
sorry and that you will do your best to stay out of trouble
in the future.
I can’t choose how much I hurt, but I can choose how
much I hate - and I choose to not hate you anymore.
I forgive you. Not just for your sake, but for mine as well.
There is no healing where there is hate.