University of Maryland, College Park

Pearl Diving Assignment 3

Lukas Koch

Communication for Project Managers: ENCE424

Dr. Shana Webster-Trotman

October 26, 2019

Introduction
In our lives we often face situations in which we need to have conversations or
interactions with people that are not easy to handle and where substantial long-term damage can
occur. The book crucial conversations states a model which can help to conduct these
conversations successfully and with the outcome we want to have. Therefore, the model consists
of several steps and techniques that are useful to control these situations. In the essay, I use parts
of these techniques, especially the appeal to Ethos, Pathos and Logos to write an E-Mail to my
team. Additionally, I use this crucial conversation model and its elements to provide an example
of a fictive conversation with my supervisor. I describe the concept of influence and persuasion,
which was part of the lecture this week. I also provide the result of the Big Five Personality Test.
I explain how far I agree and how far I disagree. The results are then compared with the results
of the DISC Assessment and the JUNG personality test.

An E-Mail to the team

Dear Anna, Bart, Claudia, Dominic,

I hope all of you had a lovely weekend and you all are motivated to take on our daily challenges
together. Today I need to turn to you with un unpleasant message. As you all know the company
is facing hard times because of the market situation and our managers are constantly looking for
improvement and potential. In the course of this investigations it has become evident that we as a
team do not perform as good as we can do. I know all of you are working hard and that you are
with dedication at work. Nevertheless, the unpleasant circumstances require an even better
performance from everyone. This also includes our team. You all know that we are an important
team for the company and our performance has direct influence on the company’s success. Since
we are facing difficult times the economic success of the company thus our jobs in the company
depend on how good we do our work. Because of this reason I want to ask everybody of you to
think about how each of you can improve their performance in way that we can improve our
output as a team.
If you need support in any way or have any ideas, you want to discuss, my door is always open. I
am also happy about your suggestions what I can change to help the team becoming better.

I know all of you have a deep long-term connection to the company and I know that you all like
your work here. This also applies to me. Let’s join our forces to help the company to remain
successful so we're all able to work here on what we love to do.

We can directly influence the success of the company and I am sure that together as a team we
can also make this difficult phase enjoyable as we have done so many times before.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

Thank you for your insight and I wish you a nice day!

Best
Lukas
Influence Principles

This week’s class session was about influence and how we can influence others in a way
that they do what we want to do them. John Maxwell once said: “Leadership is influence,
nothing more and nothing less”. This statement has a provoking character. Meanwhile there are a
lot of different theories about leadership and the components it contains. These theories are about
traits, skills, behavior and situations. They treat leadership as a transformational approach or as a
path to achieve a goal. With all these variety of theories and approaches it seems quite provoking
to say that leadership is nothing more or less than influence. However, the definition of
leadership gives John Maxwell right. According to Northouse, leadership is a process whereby
an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal (Northouse, 2016). So,
it’s not just influence but influence is the basic principle and core of leadership. But how do we
influence others? There are some basic principles to influence and persuade other people. One
principle is likability. This means that people get easier persuaded by somebody they like.
Another principle is reciprocity. This is a social norm that forces people go give back in a kind
like they received. A third principle is consistency. This principle says that commitments which
are made actively, are more likely to direct future conduct, because people like to be and appear
consistent. This is also the origin of the say-do-gap. It describes the gap between how you act
and what you do, compared to what you say. A next principle is credibility and authority. This
describes the fact that respect is gained for capabilities and expertise. Another principle is called
potential loss versus potential gain. Potential losses have a bigger influence on the decision of
people than potential wins. This indicates that if you want to persuade somebody, it is more
effective to argue with a loss situation instead of stating the win. The next principle is called
request magnitude. It says that the sequence in which we make requests has a big impact on the
response. You should always make the largest request first. A last principle is called social
proofing. This principle states that people look at what others are doing to identify how to
behave by themselves. An example is a situation where a person gets promoted within the same
company and a result thinks that she needs to change her clothes as a respond to the promotion.
First, she will check what clothes other people on the same level wear and basically adjust her
new choice of dresses to that.
Another concept regarding influence are the elements of persuasion. These four elements are
Ethos, Pathos, Logos and Mythos. Whereas we already treated the first three extensively in this
class, the fourth element, Mythos, is new. Mythos is defined as a form of proof that is grounded
in the sense of connection and identification that people feel with the group traditions and the
values they embody.

Handle a Crucial Conversations

This situation requires further measures and can inevitably be accepted in this way. But
how can this situation be handled in a way that is satisfactory for every party and without
additional damage? There is a quote from Ambrose Bierce that says: “Speak when you are angry,
and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” This applies very good to the present
situation. Of course, you could just react by calling your boss an idiot either, but chances are
high that this is the end of your career in that company. Or you can just accept it and do not say
anything at all. It'll certainly hurt your own reputation on the team. So how can this situation be
handled properly? First, what we should have in mind is that there is another option than Fool’s
Choice. Fool’s Choice describes a situation where people think that they have just two options.
Either to step up, tell the truth and risk that the relationship with the person gets damaged or
suffering in silence and keeping a friend (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, 2011).
Fortunately, there is another option where we can achieve what we really want and keep the
relationship with the person alive. This means the first step is to refuse Fool’s Choice. The
techniques from the book crucial conversations can be mapped in crucial conversations model.
This model is pictured below.

Figure 1: Crucial Conversations Model

The first technique of the model of crucial conversations is called “Stay with your heart”. This
technique tells us that we should stay focus in what we really want. It includes questions like what
do I want for myself, what do I want for others and what do I want for the relationship. This should
take place right in the beginning, before I respond with any answer. In this situation emotions are
high, and I feel offended by me boss. Before I respond to that claim of my boss, I step back and
ask myself what I want to achieve. What I actually want to achieve is to keep the reputation of my
team and to tell my boss that I do not want to be called an idiot in general and above all not in front
of my team. In this situation it is not helpful to discuss this in front of the team, but I do want the
team to perceive that I do not let this unanswered. What I tell me boss in the very first moment is
that I want to discuss this with him in a quite atmosphere in private and suggest a meeting in the
office later. Before the meeting with the boss, I make me aware again what I really want for me,
my boss and the relationship. Another technique which takes place before the actual crucial
conversation is called “Master my stories”. Stories influence our feelings and emotions and thereby
influence our responses. The Stories are connected to the path of action. The path of action consists
of see and hear (facts), tell a story (interpretation), feel (emotions) and act (behavior). Very often
it will be run through in this order (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, 2011). Our stories
influence our actions. To master our own stories, we need to concentrate on the facts and not on
how we interpret the situation. By doing so I can resist myself from thinking that my boss called
my idiot in front of my whole team because he wanted to embarrass me. Also, I stop thinking that
he called me an idiot because he thinks I am not intelligent enough for the job. What I focus on, is
just the fact that he called me idiot and not the reason why, because I do not know that reason.
With the knowledge about the pure facts, I go into the conversation. In the beginning of the
conversation. I state my path to my boss to explain my opinion to him. I state my path with the
help of the STATE acronym:
 Share your facts.
 Tell your story.
 Ask for others path.
 Talk tentatively.
 Encourage testing.
This means I tell him that he previously called me idiot in front of my team. I add that I felt like
he wanted to embarrass me in front of my team. I ask him if he sees that different and that I would
like to hear his story. Also, I ask him for the reason he called me idiot and encourage him to share
his path of action including his story. One essential element of the crucial conversation model is
safety. Conditions of safety are mutual respect and mutual purpose. If one of them suffers, you
should step out of the conversation and re-establish safety (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and
Switzler, 2011). Mutual respect between a supervisor and his followers should be present naturally.
After my boss stated his path of action with his story, I try to find commitment for a mutual
purpose. I tell my boss that we both are interested in the economical success of the company that
this is of course also the priority for my team and me. I explain to him that therefore, efficient
leadership is necessary to lead a team successfully. This is just possible when the team members
feel that I am an authentic and credible leader and that this suffers when the boss calls me idiot in
front of them. Also, I tell him that within our corporate identity respect among the colleagues is
important and that it is difficult to communicate this to the employees effectively if the managers
do not act as role models. During the conversation I am attentive and look out for signs of unsafety
like silence or violence (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, 2011). In the end of the
conversation, I try to direct it towards a move to action. This describes who does what (Patterson,
Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, 2011). I suggest my boss that in line with the mutual purpose, it
is the best that the next time he disagrees with me or the work of my team, he should call me for a
private meeting to discuss these points and to demonstrate unity towards the team.

The Big Five Personality Test

The Big Five Personality Test is an evaluation of five major personality traits. The test
gives an accurate, precise score for these five traits. According to Truity the Five Factor Model is
the most scientifically way of classifying personality differences. It is the most widely used
model among research psychologists. For the test you must request a selection of statements by
selecting how well the statements describe you.
The five dimensions of personality are openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness
and neuroticism. Openness describes a person’s tendency to enjoy abstract ideas and artistic
expression. People with a high score tend to be creative, adventurous and intellectual. Low
scorers are more practical, conventional and focused on the concrete. They follow the traditional
way. Openness is strongly related to a person’s interest in arts. Conscientiousness is a person’s
self-discipline and control in order to achieve a goal. This concept faces a dilemma. Shall I do
what feels good now or do something less fun but what will pay off in the future. People with a
high score are organized and determined. Low scorers are impulsive and easily sidetracked. The
trait extraversion describes the inclination of a person to seek stimulation from the outside world.
This is especially about the attention from other people. Extraversion seems to be related to the
emotional pay off a person gets from achieving a goal. High score extroverts engage actively
with others to earn social rewards. Agreeableness describes how people put the needs of other’s
ahead of their own and cooperate rather than compete with other’s. People with a high score are
empathic and tend to get pleasure out of taking care of others. Low scorers are often described as
hostile, competitive and antagonistic. Neuroticism describes a person’s tendency to experience
negative emotions. This includes fear, sadness, anxiety, guilty and shame. Everyone experience
these emotions, but some people are more prone to them than others.
After taking the test the following results were provided:

 Openness: 65%
 Conscientiousness: 71%
 Extraversion: 54%
 Agreeableness: 65%
 Neuroticism: 27%.
There are four core personality patterns which reflect your core values and motivations. The
patterns are empathic idealist, analytical thinker, practical caretaker and logical mechanic. The
test states that I am an empathic idealist. Persons with that core pattern uses insight and creativity
to help others. They think about how the world could be a better and more beautiful place.
In general, I do agree with the results of the Big Five Personality Test. What is very accurate in
my opinion is that conscientiousness is the strongest trait. This trait describes me very well. I
possess a high degree of self-discipline and determination. I also focus on my long-term goals.
This applies to most of the circumstances. I behave like this during my studies, in professional
life and in sports. I think this characteristic is the most important in helping me what I achieved,
yet. On the other hand, I also agree with neuroticism as the lowest ranked trait. I am a person
who usually sees the positive within a situation. Most of the time I am in good mood and have
positive emotions. To most of the situation I respond with a healthy optimism. Additionally, I am
very happy that agreeableness is ranked high. Since I always describe myself as a peoples-
person, I think this trait is important. Empathy is one of my major strengths, I think. That’s also
the reason why I agree with result empathic idealist as the strongest pattern.
What is consistent within the DISC assessment, the Jung personality test and the Big Five
Personality Test is that all three assessments describe me as a people-person with a strong
empathy. This is exactly how I see myself. I personally believe that out of all traits and
characteristics that describe me, this is the most important and outstanding one. Another
matching in the results of the Jung test and the Big Five assessment is the strong determination
and organization. This applies to me. In general, there is to say that the results of all three tests fit
together very well and do not contradict each other.
Taking different types of assessments gives you the change to broaden your self-awareness. The
test usually differs from each other by emphasizing different aspects. This provides the
possibility to assess the own personality from different points of view. Also, it helps to gain
safety about the test results when a result occurs more than once in among different tests. On the
other hand, it can clarify results when one test result is not accurate.

Conclusion

Finally, I think knowledge in how to successfully handle crucial conversations is one

essential skill people should have. These techniques can help to control conversations and
situations and to direct them in a way that the outcome is what we want it to be. Furthermore, it
can prevent us from causing substantial, long-term damage. Concepts like “Master your own
story” and the “Path to action theory” are easy to understand and their suggestions can be used
immediately.
The Big Five Personality Test is an evaluation of five major personality traits and the test gives
an accurate, precise score for these five traits. The strongest trait in my case was
conscientiousness, the weakest neuroticism. These results basically reflect my self-awareness
and I agree with the outcomes. Compared with the results of the DISC assessment and the JUNG
personality assessment it is to say that all three tests provide similar outcomes. I conclude from
that that the provided information about me and my personality possess a certain degree of
validity.
Influential skills are essential in today’s world to achieve goals and to be a great leader. From
definition, leadership is the process of influencing a group of individuals. There exist some basic
principles about how we can influence and persuade other people in a way to get them do what
we want them to do. Important for the concept of influence are also the four elements of
persuasion which are Ethos, Pathos, Logos and Mythos.
 Works Cited

Patterson, Kerry and Grenny, Joseph and McMillan, Ron and Switzler, Al. (2011). Crucial

Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.,

Second Edition

Northouse, Peter. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice, SAGE Publications Inc, Thousand

Oaks, California 91320

Appendix A: Big Five Personality Test Results