SAAD JALISI 1

Extended Inquiry Project: Final Draft

Domestic Abuse’s Silence, Struggles, and Solutions

SAAD JALISI

Professor Malcom Campbell

UNIVERSITY WRITING 1103 - HONORS

December 1, 2019
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I remember landing in Denver, Colorado. The harsh audio from the airplane’s speaker

woke me from my relatively peaceful slumber. As the air-hostess’s crackling grumble carried

throughout the economy-class aisle, my slow awakening quite quickly morphed into panic. I

rushed to wipe my eyes of crust and my chin of deep-sleep saliva, and I embarrassingly found

myself face-to-face with another air-hostess kindly requesting the return of the airline’s blanket

to prepare for exit. At the announcement of the “all clear to proceed,” I jumped to my feet and

snatched my carryon from the overhead compartment. Clutching my luggage, I strutted down

towards the end of the cabin, and as I approached my freedom from infantile screams and the

pungent scent of an overused restroom, I caught a glimpse of a foreboding, ash-colored sky.

I inhaled as that overhanging grey blanket reminded me of Karachi, Pakistan during the

monsoon season. Through booming thunder, my mother coddled my sister and me. The scent of

saffron from her auburn hair comforted my racing thoughts, not from the explosive roars of

lightning, but from the meteoric pounding of my father’s footsteps. My mother silently signaled

my sister and me to rush to our rooms as glossy, pearly tears ran down her rosy cheeks and onto

our foreheads. As I shut my bedroom door, I heard my father’s baritone growl as he snatched my

mother’s skull. For the next hour, my mother’s shrill screams of helplessness dissonantly carried

through the corridors with the frenzied booms of her bodily collisions against the tile floor.

I exhaled, relieved that my mother, sister, and I escaped our ​untold ​persecution, and I

continued to the next terminal.

My experience falls under a larger umbrella of familial/relationship abuse: domestic

abuse. ​The Center for Family Justice ​defines domestic abuse as “​a pattern of coercive,

controlling behavior that is a pervasive life-threatening crime affecting people in all our
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communities regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, social

standing and immigration status” (The Center for Family Justice). In other words, domestic

abuse may include, but is not limited to, name-calling, physical violence, emotional

manipulation, and identity-based discrimination. Furthermore, ​roughly fifty percent of men and

women​ experience emotional abuse and psychological aggression by a partner in their lifetimes,

and ​roughly twenty-five percent of men and women​ experience physical abuse. For such a

prevalent issue amongst men and women, how are people affected by domestic abuse?

Neurologist Dr. Glynnis Zieman states, “​anxiety, depression and PTSD usually end up being the

most severe problems” (“Domestic Violence’s Overlooked Damage,” Stone); however, patients

tend to initially enter the clinic with symptoms of “headaches, exhaustion, dizziness or problems

sleeping” (“Domestic Violence’s Overlooked Damage,” Stone).

On the other hand, abusers, too, may be afflicted with their own issues. For instance,

according to the ​International Journal of Prisoner Health​, authors conducting a study on

twenty-two prisoners possessing backgrounds of inflicting domestic abuse found that each

prisoner emotionally internalized the witnessed abuse from their fathers, and they perpetuated

“benevolent sexism” with their mothers, a chivalrous attitude towards women that casts women

as weak creatures in need of men's protection. Although the participants expressed beliefs of

female empowerment directed at their mothers, their expressions of the ideal woman regarded

absolute subordination to men “(a patient, caring, submissive housewife, totally dedicated to her

children and her husband)” (​“Prisoners’ Ambivalent Sexism,” Testoni). As domestic abuse can

induce severe issues, such as sexism and mental illness, how are victims combatting their unjust

oppression? In short, most victims are not taking action.

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According to Will Stone, a reporter for National Public Radio’s ​All Things Considered,​

survivors of domestic abuse remain “still largely in silence”​ (Stone). For such terrible abuse, why

do victims stay silent about their maltreatment?

Domestic abuse comes in a variety of forms. The Center for Family Justice outlines five

forms of domestic abuse: physical, emotional, economic, stalking and harassment, and ​sexual​.

This diversity in the styles of abuse increases the difficulty in creating universal resolutions for

the affected 10 million people each year (Stone). Thus, without established, reliable outlets, these

victims may not possess active knowledge of how to get help.

Even before victims of domestic abuse may willingly pursue external support, research

shows that domestic violence stays unrecognized in victims. For example, “about 70 percent of

people seen in the ER for such abuse are never actually identified as survivors of domestic

violence” (Domestic Violence’s Overlooked Damage: Concussion and Brain Injury, Stone). In

other words, physical injuries from domestic abuse, such as bruises and cuts, may be ​treated​, but

they are not ​cured​. Emergency rooms deprive these patients of the careful investigation

regarding their physical trauma. Paired with the fact that “81 percent of...patients had so many

hits to the head, they lost count…” (Stone), the combination of cognitively impaired memory

from head injuries and inattentive emergency room staff, victims are left undiagnosed with

potential life-threatening injuries.

Silence in victims of domestic abuse is not limited to factors of physical violence. In fact,

according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) and the United States Department

of Justice, ​eighty percent of victims do not present with physical symptoms​.​ Then, what impedes

survivors’ reporting of abuse? The NDVH presents an answer:

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Survivors typically experience nonviolent forms of abuse long before a physical assault

ever occurs. Unfortunately, law enforcement only reacts when abuse turns physical, and

survivors are not seen as “real victims” until their situation escalates to violence.

Consequently, without legal validation from law enforcement, many survivors of nonviolent

domestic abuse do not believe that they are victims and may not feel the need to take action.

Additionally, victims may have emotional connections to the abuser that inhibit the pursuit of

that action. For example, the law offices of Graham Donath, J.D. state, “a victim may stay silent

because he or she loves the batterer.” Victims often retain some love for their partners despite

violence or torment. A relationship exists between the two people, and both the victim and the

violator could have a difficult time ending the relationship. Furthermore, the abuser could

financially support the victim and children, making economic dependence a significant factor. In

my family’s case, we felt helpless. Without physical evidence of the abuse inflicted by my father,

as a large majority of the abuse included verbal degradation, my mother, sister, and I convinced

ourselves that any legal action against my father would fail. My father, at the time, refused to let

my mother find employment, so we depended on my father for financial support, which, too,

hindered our access to help.

Fortunately, after years of suffering, my mother, sister, and I filed a restraining order

against my father. We contacted a lawyer, and we ​learned ​how to separate ourselves from my

father after a long, fiscally and emotionally draining pursuit of freedom. However, with more

accessible means of assistance, such as better societal education regarding healthy relationships,

other individuals may be able to better combat domestic violence and recover from its drastic,

dire effects. Organizations such as One Love and the National Coalition Against Domestic
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Violence have made strides to further educate the public about recognizing domestic abuse and

its victims, but larger, dominant figures, such as employers and politicians, of everyday society

should seek to implement education and policies about domestic abuse to uphold every person’s

physical, emotional, and financial health. ​In fact, the United States of America has a precedent

for domestic violence legislation.

In 1994, according to the United States Attorney’s Office Western District of Tennessee,

Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)​. This act recognizes domestic

violence as a national crime with federal punishments. Federal oversight with this act helps

overburdened states and their local criminal justice systems by providing national classifications

for Qualifying Domestic Violence Misdemeanors and Crimes, Intimate Partners, and Victims’

Rights, resolving the discrepancies between domestic violence legislative acts in the individual

fifty states. Furthermore, VAWA administers grants through the United States Department of

Justice, providing funds for “shelters, rape prevention and education, programs to address and

reduce the sexual abuse of runaway and homeless youth, and community programs to educate on

domestic violence” (Lynch). These programs include but are not limited to the National

Organization for Women and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Similarly, the Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program (IPAEP) at the Massachusetts

Department of Public Health addresses the safety of domestic abuse victims while also

“hold[ing] individuals who use violence in their relationships accountable for their actions and to

help them change their behavior” (Massachusetts Department of Public Health). The IPAEP, if

court-ordered by a judge, consists of a three-year-maximum, four-point intervention strategy.

First, the abusive partner attends at least eighty hours of group sessions that provide ample
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opportunity for each group member to participate in discussions and obtain individualized

feedback. Second, the abusive partner engages in an education component that addresses the

identification, confrontation, and change of abusive and controlling behaviors to

partners/victims. Third, the perpetrator of domestic violence undergoes individual intervention,

focusing on intimate partner violence and other perpetrated abuse and offer education that is

equivalent to the educational component. Fourth, the IPAEP conducts on-going assessments of

an abusive partner’s risk of harm to partners/victims. Finally, for a full discharge from the

Program, the abusive partner must remain violence-free for twenty consecutive weeks following

the final risk assessment. Thus, the Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program provides a

holistic rehabilitation for abusers that accounts for its participants during and well-after the

course.

On a national scale, the Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program and the Violence

Against Women Act could reshape the effects of domestic violence on its victims and

perpetrators. The reformative nature of the IPAEP may federally incentivize judges to use this

educational opportunity over a punitive sentence, such as imprisonment, that may not allow an

abuser to confront their toxic tendencies. Additionally, a national partnership between the IPAEP

and the VAWA could strengthen the national knowledge of anti-abuse organizations their

perceived legitimacy in the public eye, increasing the likelihood of domestic abuse education

programs and activism in communities across the United States of America. This stronger,

national case and fight against domestic abuse could produce a new narrative, an American

narrative in which domestic abuse survivors are empowered, and their abusers can learn to be

better, healthier partners.

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Works Cited

“Domestic Violence Statistics: Emotional Abuse Statistics: Gender Equity.” ​Ananias

Foundation,​ Ananias Foundation, 17 May 2018,

www.ananiasfoundation.org/domestic-violence-statistics/​. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.

Donath, Graham. “Why Do Domestic Violence Victims Stay Silent?” ​Law Offices of Graham D.

Donath, APC,​ 30 Apr. 2018,

www.gddlaw.com/2018/03/30/domestic-violence-victims-stay-silent/​. Accessed 7 Nov.

2019.

“Federal Domestic Violence Laws.” ​The United States Department of Justice,​ 6 Dec. 2017,

www.justice.gov/usao-wdtn/victim-witness-program/federal-domestic-violence-laws​.

Accessed 1 Dec. 2019.

“Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program Services.” ​Mass.gov,​ Commonwealth of

Massachusetts, 2019,

www.mass.gov/service-details/intimate-partner-abuse-education-program-services​.

Accessed 1 Dec. 2019.

Lynch, Ami. “Violence Against Women Act.” ​Encyclopædia Britannica​, Encyclopædia

Britannica, Inc., 20 Dec. 2018,

www.britannica.com/event/Violence-Against-Women-Act​. Accessed 1 Dec. 2019.

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Muhammad, Mildred. “Silent Scars of Domestic Abuse.” ​The National Domestic Violence

Hotline,​ National Domestic Violence Hotline, 12 Apr. 2019,

www.thehotline.org/2018/08/25/silent-scars-of-domestic-abuse/​. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.

Noughani, Fatemeh, and Jamileh Mohtashami. “Effect of Education on Prevention of Domestic

Violence against Women.” ​Iranian Journal of Psychiatry​, Tehran University of Medical

Sciences, 2011, ​www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3395941/​. Accessed 1 Dec.

2019.

Stone, Will. “Domestic Violence's Overlooked Damage: Concussion And Brain Injury.” ​All

Things Considered,​ National Public Radio, 30 May 2018,

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/30/613779769/domestic-violence-s-un

told-damage-concussion-and-brain-injury​. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.

Testoni, Ines, et al. “Prisoners’ Ambivalent Sexism and Domestic Violence: A Narrative Study.”

International Journal of Prisoner Health​, vol. 15, no. 4, Dec. 2019, pp. 332–348.

EBSCOhost​, doi:10.1108/IJPH-09-2018-0046. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.

“What Is Domestic Abuse: Domestic Violence Definition.” ​The Center for Family Justice,​

Center for Family Justice , 2019,

https://centerforfamilyjustice.org/faq/domestic-violence/​. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.