Enneagram Type Six with Enneagram Type Six

Why the Attraction?

• As with all double type combinations, Sixes sense a deep rapport with each other very quickly because they
share the same worldview. They understand each other’s doubts, fears, insecurities and anxieties.
• Both are looking for someone who is interested in a committed, loyal relationship with someone they can
trust. It doesn’t take long for them to realize they have found that in each other.
• Sixes are mental types so they thoroughly enjoy stimulating conversations together as well as joking and
lighthearted bantering with each other. But they are also fear types who worry about things going wrong.
Fortunately, being the same type they have the same coping strategies.
• They appreciate checking-in with each regularly to relieve their doubts and fears. Before trust is firmly
established they’ll test each other’s loyalty and question each other’s motives. They can respond by giving
each other a lot of reassurance when doubts come up. Both of them are extremely reliable and trustworthy
and almost always follow through on their commitments to each other.
• They are both cooperative, supportive, engaging and friendly. Home and family are very important to Sixes
as well as close friendships and affiliations with the community at large.
• Sixes often find they are a source of strength and inspiration to each other because they see just how much
they willingly sacrifice, devote and dedicate themselves to each other’s welfare.

Some Shared Positive Traits

• Bond with each other quickly; understand each other
• Trust each other because trust is so important to them
• Can voice their doubts and suspicions with each other
• Are inquisitive and perceptive; warm, likeable and engaging
• Enjoy intellectual stimulation, playing devil’s advocate and questioning things
• Are analytical thinkers but have active imaginations too
• Are friendly, helpful and compassionate; witty and playful
• Support underdog causes and like to empower others
• Are sensitive and care deeply about others’ welfare
• Can be courageous, inner-directed and dedicate themselves to a higher purpose
• Are loyal, conscientious and take their commitments very seriously (they will support loved ones through
thick and thin)
• Are hard working, reliable, responsible, practical, dutiful
• Are alert, vigilant and cautious (especially to danger)
• Like predictability, order and organization (like Ones)
• Are faithful and caring – committed to family and friends
• Are honest and fair; devoted and dedicated to each other
• Are reassuring, supportive and protective of each other – they reinforce each other’s feeling of safety
• Are modest and unpretentious (especially phobic Sixes)
• Are direct and assertive; can confront danger and take on challenges (counterphobic Sixes)

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Some Shared Negative Traits
• Can be contrary and oppositional, controlling and inflexible
• Can get anxious, worried and magnify potential hazards
• Can be testy, touchy, reactive, temperamental, fearful
• Can be hypervigilant, nervous, negative and pessimistic
• Can be self-doubting, unconfident, indecisive, ambivalent
• Can take criticism as an attack. Can be self-defeating
• Can be paranoid, suspicious, mistrustful and defensive
• Can be timid, hesitant, evasive, dependent, risk averse, need constant reassurance and procrastinate (Phobic
Sixes)
• Can be unpredictable, confrontational, reckless, anti-authoritarian, rebellious and explosive (Counterphobic
Sixes)
• Can fear abandonment and betrayal, obsess about what their partner is thinking and test each other’s loyalty

Potential Problems
• (1) Oppositional, contrary, defensive and negative thinking, (2) mistrusting, suspecting, testing and
questioning, (3) doubting things will work out well, (4) magnifying benign conditions into worst case
scenarios, (4) procrastination and indecision, (6) challenging or fleeing from threats, (7) arguing, blaming
and angry accusations, (8) projecting irrational fears and emotionally overreacting, (9) needing constant
reassurance from partner, (10) acting impulsively to relieve anxiety OR being unable to act, (11) feeling
pressure from being overextended and overcommitted, and (12) being unpredictable
• Sixes can inhabit a world of intense inner doubt, inner fear, inner confusion and inner questioning. Their
fears, worries and anxieties can begin to feed off of each other when they’re feeling insecure or stressed out.
Sixes live with the underlying belief that the world is a dangerous and threatening place. All of the
aforementioned potential problems make perfect sense in light of this underlying belief. To find security
Sixes feel the need to be warm and friendly AND/OR strong and appealing AND/OR dutiful and compliant.
However, to maintain their self-esteem, Sixes overcompensate by acting rebelliously or forcefully to prove
they aren’t dependent. Sixes are caught between wanting to prove they’re tough and independent and
wanting to be approved of/liked. Sixes constantly oscillate between aggressive and compliant impulses and
feelings.

Advice
For Sixes
• Since you both have the same fear of being abandoned you can check-in with each other on a regular basis to
alleviate any doubts or suspicions that may be brewing.
• It is easy for you to get overextended and overcommitted with duties and obligations so take time to build in
healthy pleasure as well as hard work and responsibility.
• Learn positive visualization techniques to counteract negative thinking. Shakti Gawain has a book called,
“The Creative Visualization Handbook” that I can recommend for you.
Have more faith in your inner guidance and trust more too.

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