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Ryan Lee

Jung Soo Lee

Writing 39C

22 October 2019

FOMO: A Discrepancy Between the Real and the Fabricated

Cyberspace is undoubtedly among the most influential of "spaces" that people

collectively facilitate the existence of. In it are many subspaces, with social media arguably

being the most prominent. Social media's intended purpose is to allow users to always be in

touch with their friends through viewing their posts, maintaining relationships no matter the

distance. However, from social media stems an ever-growing social issue-FOMO. FOMO (Fear

of Missing Out) is anxiety resulting from people worrying that they are missing out on social

activities that their peers engage in. This anxiety causes people to compare their social lives to

those of others, often resulting in perceived social inadequacy due to the negative thoughts a

person develops about themself. The issue of FOMO is caused by social media users' ability to

manage an online avatar, a representation of themselves that is created with the intention of

making their life seem more eventful and fun than it is in reality. Due to a user's constant

inundation of these avatars, their self image deteriorates as they compare their lives to these false

depictions of others and subsequently perceive themselves as being socially inadequate. As these

feelings increase in a person, they withdraw from their friends and family because they feel they

cannot meet the standards and expectations of them. Withdrawal from family and friends

deprives these people of the authentic social relationships they need, and takes away their means

of social support, leaving them to the whims of their negative self image. Despite social media's
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ability to bring people closer together through constant connectivity, it often does the opposite,

facilitating feelings of depression and social isolation due to feelings of FOMO. By increasingly

isolating its users from family and friends, due to feelings of inadequacy due to carefully crafted

avatars, FOMO steadily ushers in a new era of social ineptitude and anxiety, contradicting the

core values society was founded upon.

Though the term FOMO was created in the early 2000s, on a conceptual level, it has

existed since long before. Parallels can be drawn throughout history between FOMO and a desire

to match the standards established by a person's peers. Joseph Reagle draws connections between

FOMO and the early twentieth century comic "Keeping Up With the Joneses" by Arthur Moman

(1). The comic strip focuses on a family that experiences perpetual annoyance at their

neighbors-The Joneses- for always having something they want. The Jones family's indulgence

in fads creates for them an avatar of being hip and trendy, much to the envy and frustration of

their neighbors. Though the comic strip takes a humorous approach to the concept, it holds a

great deal of similarities to the relationship between social media users and the avatars they are

presented with. For example, a social media user could frequently post pictures from parties they

are invited to, which creates an avatar based on a social and fun lifestyle. Though they may post

these pictures, they do not post the mundane or negative occurrences in their lives, presenting an

inaccurate depiction of their lives. Instances like this have only increased in occurrence, which is

why the expression "keeping up with the Joneses" is still used today.

With the ever-expanding focus on media consumption in culture, social media usage

increases daily. Research studies have shown that increased social media use positively

correlates to increased levels of FOMO (Sarah Buglass, Jens Binder, Lucy Betts, Jean
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Underwood, 6). Their extensive survey study measured levels of FOMO and self-esteem through

cross-sectional analysis, structural equation modeling, and longitudinal analysis and presented

this correlation. This suggests the issue of FOMO has the potential to become more widespread,

as social media usage will likely increase over time.

FOMO's widespread influence will likely be felt by many, as the creators of social media

utilize this to their platform's benefit. Jenna Wortham contends that "Social software is both the

creator and the cure for FOMO" (1). What she means is that a person derives satisfaction from

creating an online avatar of themself that presents a fun and fulfilling social life, while

simultaneously having this sense of satisfaction lowered due to seeing other avatars present their

fun activities. This creates a cycle of FOMO within individuals and society as a whole. Within

individuals, FOMO causes social withdrawal due to a fear of not being able to meet the standards

and expectations of peers. This causes them to resort to social media for social satisfaction,

which worsens feelings of FOMO as they continue to see others post pictures from their

carefully calculated depictions of their lives. In society, this issue becomes a cycle as more and

more users unknowingly create FOMO in others through posting to improve their self-image

while simultaneously experiencing it when viewing the avatars of others. Hallie Reed

contextualizes this issue with anecdotes of social exclusion and the subsequent feelings she felt

from this. Rather than let these negative feelings overpower her sense of self, she cites advice

from Philip Galanes-an advisor for The Time's Social Q's-on how to counter FOMO (1). The

most effective piece of advice he offers is simply to put down the phone and take a break from

social media's deluge of sensationalized depictions of peoples' lives. Though not an innovative
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piece of advice, it remains true, as research links social media use to feelings of FOMO, making

the logical solution to FOMO to eliminate the usage of social media.

Though FOMO is caused by frequent exposure to social media wherein other users depict

themselves leading exciting and fun lives, it is not merely a teenage response to perceived social

inadequacy. It is a psychological response to a distressing emotion with roots in the self

determination theory. Self determination theory comprises of three components-autonomy,

competence, and relatedness-all of which need fulfillment in order for a person to be motivated

and partake in life's activities. In this context, we focus on a person's sense of relatedness, as a

lack of satisfaction in this area can lead to less motivation and desire to engage socially, resulting

in symptoms of FOMO. Research has indicated that "individuals who evidenced less satisfaction

of the basic psychological needs for...relatedness (connectedness to others) also reported higher

levels of FoMO" (Andrew Przybylski, Kou Murayama, Cody DeHaan, Valerie Gladwell, 5).

From this research it is apparent that a lack of social relationships elicits a natural human

response of apathy due to these challenges to a person's sense of self. Because a person's sense of

self is rooted in their interactions with others, the social inadequacy they perceive themselves to

have directly results in a threat to their own sense of identity. Once this is compromised, the

ability to counter the source of the problem through high quality social interaction is inhibited,

and a person becomes withdrawn. Though said person feels withdrawn, the desire for social

interaction still remains, causing a person to continue use of social media as a last resort for

social interaction. This in turn exacerbates their problems and contributes to a worsening cycle of

the feelings of FOMO within a person.

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The response of a person exhibiting symptoms of FOMO to use social media as a means

of compensation for a poor social life is supported by the hypothesized model below that

illustrates the causes and effects of FOMO.

The study focuses on problematic Facebook use in relation to six hypotheses. In this context,

hypotheses one and three (b & c) are the most relevant; hypothesis one states that "FoMO will be

positively related to PFU [Problematic Facebook use] severity", and hypotheses 3b & 3c states

that "FoMO will account for relationships between depression severity...(3b), and life

satisfaction (3c) with PFU severity." The results of their study supported both hypotheses;

"FoMO was positively related to levels of PFU", and "FoMO mediated relations between levels

of social anxiety and PFU" (Abigail Dempsey, Kelsey O'Brien, Mojisola Tiamiyu, Jon Elhai 2,

3). As seen in the above, the hypothesized model does refer to social anxiety and problematic

Facebook use to hypotheses three and five. Furthermore, it hypothesizes that rumination,

depression, social anxiety, and decreased life satisfaction, and Facebook use frequency are
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intertwined with each other and FOMO, resulting in problematic Facebook use. Though not all

hypotheses were accepted, the connection between these responses to social dissatisfaction

strongly suggests that the symptoms of FOMO manifest in rumination, increased social media

use, and FOMO itself, resulting in excessive social media usage. This in turn, is linked to how

FOMO causes users to more frequently use social media as compensation for their perceived

social status, further facilitating the worsening cycle that FOMO creates in its victims.

FOMO's severity is largely due to it isolating people from their support groups (i.e.

friends and family). As stated previously, feelings of inadequacy cause withdrawal from the very

social relationships they desperately need. Research studies show that family support protects

youth from loneliness, however daily use of social media by those in families of high quality

communication still results in higher feelings of loneliness (Lindsay Favotto, Valerie

Michaelson, William Pickett, Colleen Davidson 9). This is because even in families of high

quality communication, daily usage of social media cuts back on the amount of time spent

communicating with family which allows feelings of loneliness to grow in users. The study also

linked families with low quality communication to even higher levels of loneliness in social

media users, as they have less of a support group. A lack of family communication deprives

adolescents of the ability to confide their feelings and receive insight on their situation. For

example, a family with high quality communication would be able to comfort an unhappy

adolescent and inform them that social media avatars do not accurately depict the lives of the

people behind them. Critical advice such as this is key to adolescents not perceiving themselves

to be socially inadequate when compared to their peers. When adolescents are not prone to
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negative perceptions of themselves, the root cause of FOMO is gone which prevents them from

experiencing it.

Overall, the ability of social media users to create avatars that glorify themselves

contributes to an increasingly problematic cycle of FOMO. Due to a user's perceived social

inadequacy, they withdraw from friends and family due to fear of not meeting their standards. By

cutting their ties with their support groups, victims of FOMO resort to social media to

compensate for their lack of social interaction, further worsening the problem and contributing to

a cycle of FOMO that affects all users regardless of their avatar's depiction of their life. With

more and more people experiencing social withdrawal, society as a whole loses its forms of

support and becomes increasingly isolated from itself, presenting a pressing social issue that

should promptly be acknowledged and countered.

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Works Cited

Reagle, Joseph. “Following the Joneses: FOMO and Conspicuous Sociality.” First Monday, vol.

20, no. 10, 2015,

doi:10.5210/fm.v20i10.6064.

Buglass, Sarah L., et al. “Motivators of Online Vulnerability: The Impact of Social

Network Site Use and FOMO.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 66, 2017, pp.

248–255.,

doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.09.055.

Przybylski, Andrew K., et al. “Motivational, Emotional, and Behavioral Correlates of Fear

of Missing Out.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 29, no. 4, 2013, pp. 1841–1848.,

doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014.

Reed, Hallie. “They Left Me Out, and I Saw It All.” The New York Times, The New York Times,

27 Feb. 2019, www.nytimes.com/2019/02/27/style/the-edit-fomo-left-out.html.

Favotto, Lindsay, et al. “The Role of Family and Computer-Mediated Communication in

Adolescent Loneliness.” Plos One, vol. 14, no. 6, 2019,

doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0214617.

Wortham, Jenna. “Feel Like a Wallflower? Maybe It's Your Facebook Wall.” The New York

Times, The New York Times, 9 Apr. 2011,

www.nytimes.com/2011/04/10/business/10ping.html.

Dempsey, Abigail E., et al. “Fear of Missing out (FoMO) and Rumination Mediate Relations

between Social Anxiety and Problematic Facebook Use.” Addictive Behaviors Reports,

vol. 9, 2019, p. 100150.,

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doi:10.1016/j.abrep.2018.100150.

Dempsey, Abigail, et al. “Hypothesized Model of Causes and Effects of Problematic Facebook

Use.” Fear of Missing out (FoMO) and Rumination Mediate Relations between Social

Anxiety and Problematic Facebook Use, Elsevier, June 2019,

ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S235285321830169X-gr1.jpg.