Knights of the TM

No.22
$2.95 USA
$3.95 CAN
Dinner Table

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS!!
 The Kingdoms of Kalamar

Kingdoms of Kalamar Deluxe Boxed Set

$29.95
In addition to both of the campaign sourcebooks (Mythos of the
Divine and Worldly and Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands),
the Kingdoms of Kalamar boxed set contains two gorgeous 24”
x 36” full color maps depicting the lands of Tellene. These
maps are printed on extra heavy stock and have been
recognized as the finest fantasy maps on the market. A hex
grid overlay is provided to protect these treasures.

Mythos of the Divine and Worldly Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands

This 88 page guidebook painstakingly describes This 100 page tome details the history of the
the 44 deities and religions of Tellene. Volume peoples and nations of Tellene. From the depths of
II also includes details on Tellene’s major secret the mysterious Vohven Jungle to the vast savanna of
organizations, rune-sets for 11 languages, the Drhokker horse-lords, this book describes every
constellations, astronomical marvels and an kingdom, race and topographical feature of
all-inclusive eight page index. $10.95 Kalamar’s world. $11.95

K&C101 Tragedy in the House of Brodeln $9.95
A 1st-3rd level adventure set in Kalamar, this adventure
supplement is made expressly for use with HackMaster,
AD&D or any other fantasy RPG. This 56 page adventure
contains: ImageQuest adventure illustrator, 5 player aids
and handouts, NPC portraits and backgrounds, a flowchart
for a dificult encounter, encounter tables, a full glossary, a
complete village, a timeline of events, 8 3-Dimensional
dungeon maps, and 5 sample player characters with complete
backgrounds.
K&C102 Secret Temple of Adajy $9.95
A mid to high level adventure set in Kalamar, this adventure
supplement is made expressly for use with HackMaster,
AD&D or any other fantasy RPG. Similar in style to Tragedy
in the House of Brodeln, this exciting 72 page adventure
contains two complete and distinct dungeon adventures in
addition to the extras you expect from Kenzer & Company:
the ImageQuest adventure illustrator, player aids and
handouts, NPC portraits and backgrounds, encounter tables,
a full glossary, a city and 10 maps.

*Advanced Dungeons & Dragons is a registered trademark of Wizards of the Coast. Use of
this trademark is NOT sanctioned by the holder. Mythos of the Divine and Worldly, Sourcebook
of the Sovereign Lands, HackMaster and the Kingdoms of Kalamar are trademarks of Kenzer and
Company.
 Knights of the

Dinner Table
TM
KENZER &
COMPANY
Knights of the Dinner Table #22
Opportunity Knocks!
August, 1998
Created by Jolly R. Blackburn
_________________________

“Opportunity Knocks!”
© Copyright 1998, Kenzer and
Company, All Rights Reserved.
Knights of the Dinner Table™
magazine is published monthly by
Kenzer and Company.
Subscriptions: A one year sub- by the KoDT devlopment team of:
scription (12 issues) is only $32.00
(US $36.00 in Canada and US
$50.00 Overseas).
Jolly R. Blackburn, Brian Jelke,
To subscribe, send a check or
money order (made payable to Steve Johansson and David Kenzer
Kenzer and Company) to:
______________________ Cover by George Vrbanic • Interior Art by Jolly R. Blackburn
Kenzer & Company
KODT Subscriptions,
2094 Camino a los Cerros
Menlo Park, CA 94025
_______________________
or fax a valid Visa, MasterCard, or
Discover card number, your signa-
ture, card type and expiration date
to us at (650) 233-8270.
Back Issues: Back issues and
related merchandising are also
available. See inside cover of this
issue or our website for details.
Legal Notice: Knights of the
Dinner Table, Hack in Space, Game
Vine, Hacknoia, Wadizitz, KODT,
HackMaster, Hard Eight Ent.,
Gary Jackson Files, the Kenzer
and Co. Logo, and all prominent
characters and likenesses thereof
are trademarks of Kenzer and Co.
Mailing Address: Kenzer and
Company, 2094 Camino a los
Cerros, Menlo Park, CA 94025.
Phone/fax: (650) 233-8270.
Internet: JollyRB@aol.com
(editorial inquiries only) or
KenzerCo@aol.com (all other
inquiries). World Wide Web:
http://members.aol.com/relkin/ken
zerco.html
Submissions: We accept submis-
sions for strip ideas, jokes, car-
toons, etc. We are interested in run-
ning anything that other gamers
and fans would enjoy. Send a
S.A.S.E. for writer’s guidelines to
the address listed above or E-mail
restin@aol.com.
Advertising: A copy of our latest
ad rates can be obtained by writing
the KenzerCo address above or
calling (650) 233-8270. You may
also E-mail renorian@aol.com
 Editorial of a Madman
W
elcome back! If this issue seems a bit thicker and
heavier than usual, it’s because we’ve added an
CRIES FROM THE ATTIC
extra thirty- pages so we could pack this issue with
a few ‘extras’. That’s a whopping sixty-four pages total for
this issue!!
With so many new fans joining the fold in recent months
there’s been something of a mass-scramble for back issues as
folks frantically attempt to complete their collections and
catch up on KODT-lore. In addition, with 22 issues of KODT
on the street many readers are finding it a major chore look-
ing for their favorite strips, having to pull each issue out of its
hermetically sealed, acid-free protective bag, flipping
through the issue only to find it’s not the right one.
We feel your pain and have a solution. You’ll find a com-
plete KODT index/checklist in this issue with the names of
all the strips as well as a thumbnail description of each story.
We’ll try to run updates to the checklist every year or so.
The remaining pages have been used to bring you anoth-
er installment of Game Master Workshop™ along with its
regular features, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly™, No
Experience Necessary™, All thing Magic™ and many others.
You’ll also find some fiction in this issue since so many of
you have asked for it.
This material is set in our Kingdoms of Kalamar™ fanta-
sy setting which is KenzerCo’s flagship product line. If you
like what you see, be sure to ask for it at your local game store.
We’ve also introduced a ‘new breed’ of KODT strips this
issue - “Retro KODT™: The never before seen past adven-
tures of the Knights”. This type of strip of was first intro-
duced in Bundle of Trouble™ Volume One (Dave’s First
Adventure) and was so well received we thought we would
do more. Retro KODT’s are strips that take place in the past
exploring the early days of the Knights of the Dinner Table
Game Club. (In general they are stories that take place prior
to Sara’s arrival to the group). Just look for the Retro KODT
logo.
Speaking of KODT Strips, you’ll find the usual quota
inside. We’ve adopted a rule-of-thumb policy to keep the
number of pages of comics between 20 and 25 pages per
issue. So, for the time being anyway, we will be using the
remaining space in our expanded issues to bring additional
material of interest to our readers.
Keep in mind that KODT is evolving and we are slowly
tinkering with the mix and offerings each issue. If you like
what you see (and especially if you don’t), be sure to write or
E-mail us and let us know. We want KODT to be an interac-
tive magazine where fans can kick back, swap tales of drag-
on-slaying and enjoy a good read.
As we were preparing to go to press, news arrived that
Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine won the 1997 ORI-
GINS Award for “Best Professional Games Magazine”
Hoody Freakin’ Hoo!! The news floored us because we
were up against some pretty stiff competition and, after all,
1997 was our first year of publication as a monthly. (As
embarrassing as it is to admit, a quick poll among the mem-
bers of the KODT Development Team revealed that only
Brian Jelke and Steve Johansson sent in their own votes.)
Apparently our fans got out and voted in a big way!! All
of us here at KenzerCo would like to thank our readers for
showing their support. If KODT is a ‘celebration of gaming’,
I guess we REALLY have reason to celebrate around here.
Did I say ‘fans’? In recent weeks we’ve noticed that a lot
of readers aren’t clear on ‘who’s who’ in the strip and are con-
fusing the names of some of the characters. It dawned on us
that we haven’t run the character bios for nearly a year in the
monthly comic. To help get everyone up to speed, we’ve com-
piled all the bios for the KODT cast in one place.
So the next time you need to identify a character or want to
look up the “origins strip” of Dave’s magic cow - Don’t
Panic!! Just flash a knowing-smile and pull out your copy of
Issue 22. Kewl beans!!
Well, looks like it’s time to dip into that pile of questions
posed to us by readers-who-need-to-know.
Q: I love KODT but my local game shop owner won’t
carry it because he claims he ‘doesn’t carry comics’. Is
there anything you can do to convince him?
A: I suppose we could send Brian van Hoose over to flip a
few tables and rough the poor guy up but our legal department
has advised us against doing that.
Don’t be too hard on your retailer. These are tough times
for the games industry and many shops are leery of picking up
new product lines - publications in particular which are usual-
ly filled with dated material, have low profit margins and are
usually available by subscription (meaning the guy you sold a
copy of Magazine X to this month might not buy a copy next
month because he took advantage of the Sell-Yer-Soul
Subscription Coupon enclosed in the mag).
We’ve run into many retailers who have a blanket policy of
not carrying ‘comics’. Usually it’s because they tried stocking
titles in the past and they didn’t do well for them or simply
because they don’t like comics in general.
What can we do to convince your retailer to pick up
KODT? Let me turn that question around on you. What can
YOU do??
1) Ask your retailer to inquire about KODT sales the next
time he speaks with his distributor. That should probably do it.
Our distributors are big fans and have been doing a great job
getting the word out.
2) Do what one another reader recently did. He loaned a
few of his personal copies of KODT to his retailer for a few
days. When he came back a week later to pick them up he was
delighted to find the magazine rack stocked with back issues.
The retailer thanked him and said, “I sold through half my
order the first day!”
3) If the first two options don’t work. Turn the guy in. Send
us the store name and address and we’ll send him some press
clippings about KODT and other propaganda...er...informa-
tion.
4) Flip his table and rough him up.
Seriously, KODT is a strange animal with a personality dis-
order. Is it a comic or is it a games publication? As a matter of
fact, many retailers have written in to say that THEY have had
to educate some of their customers who ‘don’t read funny
books’ about KODT.
One reader recently wrote in about a retailer who literally
walked him to the KODT shelf and forced him to read a few
pages to get him ‘hooked’.
Word of mouth is a powerful tool. Keep urging your retail-
er to pick up KODT. Many thanks to all the silent heroes out
there who have been spreading the word.
Jolly R. Blackburn
July 5, 1998
 Our Readers Talk Back!
TABLE TALK: READER MAIL
Dear KODT,
Best comic ever... true to the point of pain... I've played with
these people... I've been one myself... Your comic rules!... etc...
I read in issue 19 that many people have apparently been hor-
rified at the death of Chelsie. Personally, I found it one of the
most humorous jokes in the series.
The comic/game is about violence. Gaming/hacking/role-
playing, call it what you want, (almost) all of these games
include combat rules. Players kill their obstacles-- not take them
prisoner. It is a reflex response to films and super-hero comics
where the defeated enemy comes back bigger and badder in the
sequel. Gamers are ruthlessly efficient.
We kill the enemy now. No sequels. No mercy. We also
keep our stash of coins and gems in a pouch necklace or a boot
heel and never hanging by a string at our waste. We never leave
our prized magic items unattended in our inn room for a burglar
to steal.
We trust player characters as much as we trust the player, but
we never trust an NPC (my groups have always seemed to get
along better with orc armies than say elf armies. I think we
understand the motivations of the orcs better).
We've heard of pickpockets and plots where the burglar loot
your room as an adventure hooks, and we NEVER take a chance
on losing our favorite stuff. Unlike movie heroes, we're not stu-
pid. (For some reason, though, players expect that the enemy
will hold them prisoner instead of deciding, "No Sequels!," and
cleaving in their heads.)
Humor is defined by John Cleese in his latest non-fiction
work on human psychology as the way we as humans respond
to paradox, or two incompatible ideas existing together. A com-
puter simply crashes.
A human laughs. There is an underlying humor to role-play-
ing games which allows us to act out violent fantasies without
having to live with the consequences. Even if our character has
to live with the consequences of its actions, it isn't real. If the
character dies, we make another.
Players are like callous Gods who mourn the death of our
heroes, but we get over it quickly. From the perspective of
someone watching the game (like us readers of your comic) the
role-players decisions are totally hilarious and at the same time
make perfect Machiavellian sense.
From a storytelling/roleplaying perspective, the death of
Chelsie is the tragic sort of death that should affect the player
characters. It shows them the consequences and flip side of their
violent actions as it happens to them. But, we are gamers. We
role-play to avoid complications like "consequences."
As suggested in a letter, stealing a hackmaster or crossbow
that is later retrieved -- well, there is nothing in that series of
actions that as a gamemaster would attempt to expand a charac-
ter. It is the mark of the gamer, perhaps a bad role-player, but an
excellent hack-and-slasher that Dave and El Ravager will be
unchanged in future gaming sessions by this dramatic death of
Chelsie.
On the flip side, Dave's reaction does show how much he
gets into the character of this violent murderer (or hero) named
El Ravager. We wouldn't find as much humor in Knobby steal-
YOU DON’T NEED A FORM ›⁄-ALPHA TO SEND US
YOUR COMMENTS ON KODT, YA KNOW??
you can write to us via e-mail at
or you can send your snail mail to
K O D T L E T T E R B O X , 1003 Monroe Pike, Marion, IN 46953
ing a weapon. Stealing a worthless cow that Dave finds valu-
able, that's funny. Destroying a weapon is annoying. Eating a
cow... from Knobby's perspective its a steak you can ride. Like
Sara points out, Dave's El Ravager is perfectly happy to eat a
halfling but aghast at eating a cow. I think we all hope that
Dave in real life is not the Dahlmer that El Reaper may be.
The juxtaposition of these ideas is hilarious. At least, I find
them a laugh riot. Perhaps the fact that you have provoked a
reaction is a sign of your art as a storyteller?
With great esteem for your comic, please don't start pulling
punches to try and not offend your readers.
Kel Hausken
via E-mail
Your letter has to rank as the best defense for hack-n-slash-
ing we’ve ran across in quite some time. (Hell, you even quot-
ed John Cleese of Monty Python fame).
We’re still amazed, however, that the death of a character’s
cow drew so much response. To date we have received a half-
dozen possible scenarios from fans on how Chelsie can be
brought back to the strip and rejoined with Dave. Some of them
are pretty ingenious.
JRB
Dear KODT,
First off, let me say thank you for mentioning JIGG in
Knights of the Dinner Table! As a former member ('92 - '94),
I can say that JIGG kept me sane while I was in Japan. It's a
terrific group of very devoted gamers. How many other groups
have people who can say (on Friday) "Sure, I can game
Saturday!" and actually show up? Ontime? Consistently?
A few corrections for you:
• Steven Brown left Japan in '94 to work for West End, and
now works for TSR/WoTC
• JIGG was started by a bunch of English teachers, not
military personnel. There are a lot of members-in-uniform,
however.
• The current contact for JIGG is Mike Montesa (the only
founding member still in Japan!). His E-mail address is
warhed@twics.com.
Mike has written a column about being an expatriate in
Japan, and it has a lot of info about JIGG, including the evo-
lution of the group and where it is now. See
http://www.rpg.net/news+reviews/columns/mike.html
I'm sure Mike wouldn't mind having his E-mail address
published as the contact (after all, he's the current president of
JIGG), and I certainly don't mind if you publish the URL. :)
Cheers,
Emma
via E-mail
Thanks for the update on JIGG, Emma. I was glad to hear
the group is still active and going strong. Anyone interested in
learning more about JIGG should check out their website or
email Mike.
JRB
JollyRB@aol.com!!
W
e love getting let-

HOME
ters from fans, even

HOME BREWED
if it’s just to say,
“Hi” or “You’re doing a great
job!” One of the biggest kicks
we get, however, is seeing
homebrewed versions of
KODT by other artists and
cartoonists. We ran some of
these in the past and some of
you asked to see more.
Well....you asked for it.

BREWED KODT:
These Anime-Clones of the
KODT characters were sent in
by Brian Burke who happens
to be from Muncie, Indiana of
all places.

KODT: FAN
FAN ART
ART
 IN YER FACE EVERY MONTH!!!
the LITTLE ONE annoys
the HELL out of me!!!

Issue 23 Issue 24
Available August, 1998 Available August, 1998

Be Sure to Reserve Your Copy of the Next Issue

at your favorite Game or Comic Shop!!

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KODT No.#10 “Let the Dice Fall Where They May” sold out ______________________
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Dawg Daze Afternoon
well? is EVERYONE ready to play
DAWG: THE ROLEPLAYING GAME??
this is so exciting. i can’t believe we’re
actually going to play MY game.
okay we decided to use
the HONOR SYSTEM.
each of you were to
create your characters
on your own this week
and bring them
to the game.!
let’s go around the table and each of you can tell the group
about his or her character. BOB, let’s start with you!
MY CHARACTER SUCKS!! i’m just not sure
i’m going to be able to get into this game.
HUH?? but YOU were the one who was so EXCITED
about playing, DAWG. what’s the problem!!
i don’t wanna say. i just think it’s best
if we didn’t play DAWG tonight.

what the HELL are you talking about?? yeah, that’s pretty much what i’m saying. i don’t want to
YOU SAID!! i sat right here and i heard play DAWG: THE RPG!! so, if you don’t mind can we
you - you said my game, “ROCKS¡” you just get back to our HACKMASTER CAMPAIGN?? hey, i was looking
BEGGED me to run a game for you. now forward to
AFTER i’ve spent all week BUSTIN’ MY ummmm....yeah, playing, DAWG!!
yeah, i vote for
BEHIND working up a DAWG ADVENTURE HACKMASTER what gives??
HACKMASTER too!!
you DON’T WANT TO PLAY?? does sound good.

DAVE, you too?? SARA?? are you
guys saying you’re in agreement
with BOB on this?? you DON”T
want to play MY GAME??
is this some kind
of JOKE!!
hey, maybe you should start pulling out your notes for HACKMASTER
while we’re discussing this. we’re cutting into GAME TIME!!
i’m sorry b.a.!! i really WANTED to
uh...mmmmmmm....er, uh, play this game - FOR YOU!! but i’m
maybe we can play DAWG not sure i can get into it either!!
some other time, b.a.
I’LL PLAY!!

7
 NO HACKMASTER!! you were HOT to play my WHO TOLD YOU THAT?? someone been running their MOUTH
game a few days ago - couldn’t wait - JUST HAD down at WEIRD PETE’S again?? HUH?? i bet it was EARL
TO PLAY!! well, i just wasted TEN HOURS prep- SLACKMOZER wasn’t it?? well, for your information it
ping an adventure for this FREAKIN’ GAME!! so wasn’t a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!! it was just a bad case of
we’re going to sit here and you’re going to tell me MENTAL EXHAUSTION!! i was under a lot of STRESS and
WHY the sudden CHANGE OF HEART!! STUFF!! the PRINTER was HOUNDING ME for his SIX
GRAND!! and those DAMN FREELANCE ARTISTS i hired
awh, c’mon, b.a.!! yeah, especially since it demonstrated at my BOOTH at GARYCON!!! and don’t even
we’re all friends caused you to have a nER- get me started about those KNOW_NOTHING
here. we don’t want VOUS BREAKDOWN that GAME REVIEWERS at HACKJOURNAL!!
to TRASH your one....uh...oops.
BABY right here in dude, chill!! i can’t remember who told me. but it
front of you. we’re your definitely wasn’t SARA or BRIAN!!
FRIENDS
remember?? thanks, numb dice!!
dave!

i’m serious!! i want to know why
you guys don’t want to play.
tell me POINT BLANK what
it is you don’t like about MY
game!! GO AHEAD - i got
THICK SKIN!! i can take it!!
i PROMISE i won’t
hold it against you!!
i want your
HONEST opinion!
you REALLY wanna know?? i’ll tell you the problems what’s wrong with you
I had with the game if you promise you won’t TAKE IT guys?? i love DAWG!!
OUT on my character next time we play HACKMASTER!! sure there were °‡
TYPOS (41 being grammat-
ical in nature and 46 being
b.a., maybe you should spelling errors) and yes,
yeah me too!! but CALM DOWN and THEN
you gotta promise!! there are some SERIOUS
we can talk about this. RULE QUIRKS but
that’s what SECOND
EDITIONS are for!!

okay, the first BIG RED FLAG that told me
this game BLEW CHUNKS was the when
i found out you only got to roll one FOUR
SIDER for your PRIMARY ATTRIBUTES!!
no way in HELL i’m playing a PEDIGREE BLACK
LAB with only a TWO STRENGTH
and a THREE INTELLIGENCE!!
what were you thinking??
and my JUNKYARD CUR has to SAVE VS. CANINE COMPULSION
everytime he sees a CAR or he has to CHASE it?? DAMN!! and there’s
a THIRTY-FIVE PERCENT chance i’ll run out in front of
ONCOMING traffic EVERYTIME i cross a street??
i lost interest when i noticed that BEG,
gee, i thought
SIT, ROLL OVER and PLAY DEAD were those skills
listed on the SKILL TABLES. sorry, b.a.!! were neat.

8

for crying out loud my game was i can see what you were going for - but DAMN - i tried to roll up a GREYHOUND
designed to allow players to TAKE
ON THE ROLE of a DOMESTI-
CATED CANINE!! everything you
just mentioned helps do that!!
you’re a DOG not some MEDIEVEL
WARRIOR rippling with muscles
and brandishing a sword!!
don’t get us wrong, b.a. we appreciate the effort.
you took it TOO FAR!! my character was taken RACING DOG but the back-
ground generation tables indicated
away from his mother before he was WEANED so
now i’m OVERLY DEPENDENT on my MASTER i had been retired for failure to
win a purse and EUTHANIZED!!
for SHOW OF AFFECTION
and APPROVAL?? what kind of crap is that?
but guys, that’s the WHOLE
and those SPAYED and
NEUTERED tables were BRUTAL! POINT of the game!!

DOGS have been BRED for centuries to be SUBSERVIENT RETURN TO THE WILD!!! RUN WITH THE PACK!!
to MAN!! your character is constantly at odds with him- that’s what your character wants to do!! but the
self as the ETERNAL TUG-OF_WAR between the STINKIN’ HUMANS won’t let you!! fall out of line
PRIMORDIAL “CALL OF THE WILD” and the MENTAL and they PEN YOU IN or CHAIN you to some FREAKIN’
IMPRINTING of DOMESTICATION DOG IGLOO in the BACKYARD so you can FREEZE
RAGES on in your heart!! your TAIL OFF eating GENERIC DOGGIE CHOW from a
HUB CAP while THEY eat BOLOGNA and CHEESE
SANDWHICES in their WARM COZY HOUSES and
this game is about watch BARNABY JONES reruns on the TELLY!!
AWAKENING!!
discovering that maybe there’s
your ESSENCE that running with the
pack stuff sounds kewl!! more to this
does not revolve than i thought.
around HUMANS
but the PACK!! yeah!!

okay, i guess i’ll TOUGH IT
OUT and play after all, b.a.
maybe there’s more to this
game than i thought.
“RETURN TO THE
WILD!! RUN WITH THE
PACK!” that’s kewl!! you
should have put that
blurb on the back cover!!
this may be interesting!! so our GOAL is throw
off the SHACKLES OF OPPRESSION and
SERVITUDE and make some kind of EXODUS
BACK TO THE WILD?? i sure wish you would
have made that CLEARER in the BOOK!!
again, that’s what SECOND
EDITIONS are ALL ABOUT!!

9
LATER THAT SAME NIGHT≥≥≥
okay bob as you start to LEAVE THE
YARD your master looks up from his
morning paper and WHISTLES for you
to come back!! you’ll have to ROLL
VS. CANINE COMPULSION!! if you
fail, your OBEDIENCE TRAINING
wins out and you are COMPELLED to
run back SIT at his FEET!!
hey you’re a VERY EXPENSIVE
THIS SUCKS!!! i wanna RUN AWAY
so i can hang out with DAVE at the
JUNK YARD and chase RATS!! this
guy has me on a SHORT LEASH!!
i’m pacing the yard. anything
interesting happen yet?
breed!! your MASTER isn’t
going to let you MIX IT UP
with a COMMON MUTT!!
b.a., i’m attempting to dig under
the fence of my kennel!!
have i gotten tired of
chasin’ that car yet??

LATER STILL≥≥≥
okay bob, you manage to elude your
MASTER by running through some a
THICK HEDGE ROW!! you find a
perfect escape route through a small
hole in the wooden fenc e in the backyard.
HOODY HOO!! i’m run-
ning as fast as i can!! as
soon as i have enough dis-
tance between ME and
that YARD i’ll stop to
get my bearings!!
sorry bob, as you are running you pass a small
MAPLE TREE which has been MARKED by a
STRANGE CANINE as CLAIMED TERRITO-
RY!! you’ll have to SAVE VS. CANINE COM-
PULSION. if you FAIL you must stop to
SNIFF and INVESTIGATE!!
the thing to do bob is to
MARK the TREE as
YOUR OWN!!

AT THE END OF THE NIGHT≥≥≥

OH C’MON, B.A.¡¡¡ you
asked US what we thought
of your game now that
we’ve played it!!!
yea, and you’d better reward us
with plenty of treasure in next
week’s HACKMASTER session for
being such good sports and sitting
through this.
do you think he’ll be alright?
maybe i should go talk to him.
don’t worry about ol’ B.A.. his
BARK is worse than his BITE.

10
Build Your Own Dwarf Kit:
The Legend of Sturm Pyre
Jackson™’s®
Gary™

he
d in t
ture ga rs
s fea ic sa aste
A ep ckM ght .
a ni n
not for WIMPS! e H er kso
Th of Ev y Jac
These Dwarves Kick Ass r
Ga
by
and Take Names!!
Special Bonus: These figures are also playable as ®
the Cosmic One-legged Gagwaller race in the new
SpaceHack: Sector 5 Universe Supplement
® Legal Notice: Build Your Own Kit™, Sturm Pyre®,
Hard 8 Enterprises ®
SpaceHack®, Sector 5™, One-legged Gagwaller™, Hard 8 Enterprises®, What do you want to Hack ™
today?™, Gary™ Jackson™’s® likeness, this ad and associated artwork and typography, this maga-
What do you want to Hack today?
zine, and your thoughts and those of your friends, associates, and family, are Trademarks,
Copyrights, Patents, and Trade Secrets owned by Hard 8 Enterprises® [a subsidiary of Gary™ © 1998 Gary™ Jackson™®, artwork © 1984 Elmore Vallejo, an
artist wholly owned, body and soul, by Hard 8 Enterprises®.
Jackson™®]. * statistically random assortment of body parts not guaranteed
Through Steam-Tunnels Deep
LATE ONE NIGHT IN WEIRD PETE’S BACK ROOM≥≥≥
WEIRD PETE’S

OFFICIAL HACKMASTER™
TOURNEY SITE ON
SALE!
55% OFF
SIGN UP HERE FOR CLOS SturmPYRE
STEAM TUNNEL ED
FORAY ‘98 MINATURES!!

B AT T L E H AC K TO U R N A M E N T
ARMY ASSIGNMENTS THIS SATURDAY NEW SERVICE!! SPELLJACKED
!!
RENT AN CARDS
ADVENTURE!! FREE!!
WHATDOYOUWANT INQUIRE WITHIN
TO HACKTODAY??
I HATE BITTERSTEVIL

okay, that concludes the SAFETY INTRUCTIONS!! regarding the REQUIRED EQUIPMENT LIST you
i have everyone’s LIABILITY WAIVERS and handed out - can i substitute ORANGE FAYGO for
EMERGENCY POINT-OF-CONTACT INFO right?? my water rations?? i’m allergic to water!!

GOOD!! looks like we’re all did i mention i’m having

i can hardly wait!! my GALL BLADDER
set for STEAM TUNNEL FINALLY - i get to
FORAY ‘·°!! i’ll expect to out friday night??
SEE the infamous
see each of you here at FOUR BALL STATE
THIRTY A.M. SHARP on STEAM TUNNELS!!
SATURDAY MORNING!! i hope gaining
access isn’t going
glad you’re to be a problem
looking forwared this time
to it newt.
so? any questions??

don’t worry PETE!! i’ve already made arrangements with

my CONTACT in the CAMPUS POLICE!! from 4:30 to well i hope your CONTACT comes through this time! i’m
5:30 a.m. saturday morning, there won’t be ANY patrols getting TOO OLD for FOOT PURSUITS and jumping
of the QUAD. that’ll give us PLENTY of time to slip in. into DUMPSTERS. i threw my KNEE OUT last time.

don’t sweat it, newt. it’s did i mention my TRANSMISSION has

only a CRIMINAL been slipping?? it could go ANY TIME
CAMPUS POLICE?? you TRESSPASS charge. now!! if i don’t show for some reason -
mean this is ILLEGAL?? i’ve been caught FOUR dont’ feel like you have to wait for me.
times.

12
 i don’t understand. if there is SO MUCH RISK well i wish we could TONE DOWN that SENSE OF
involved in going into the STEAM TUNNELS why do you DANGER a bit!! last time i ended up running down FRA-
ADVERTISE the event on WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN TERNITY ROW door-to-door seeking ASYLUM!!
BOARD?? won’t they be expecting us?? GAWD DAMN FRAT RATS¡¡ they wouldn’t let me in!!

it’s part of the ADVENTURE why would they?? if a FAT OLD MAN
you idiot!! the CAMPUS dressed in WIZARDS GARB and totin’
POLICE represent the it’s INTENSE!! the a WOODEN SWORD showed up at MY
IMPERIAL PATROL!! ADRENALINE RUSH DOOR at FIVE in the FREAKIN’
is unbelievable!! MORNING i wouldn’t let him in either!!
it’s my way of
heightening the DAMMIT!! it wasn’t a WOODEN
sense of danger.! SWORD!! it was a STAFF OF THE
DARK MAGE!! they got it wrong
on the police report.
oh!

look, this is EXACTLY the reason i set up a SAFE HOUSE on the

edge of CAMPUS. if ANYTHING goes wrong we all meet back PATTY GAUZWEILER?? i don’t know which is
at PATTY GAUZWEILER’S place - GOT IT?? she’s leaving SCARIER - the thought of HIDING ON THE
her TOOL SHED unlocked. they’ll be a POLICE SCANNER, LAM at PATTY’S PLACE or going into those
FOOD and SODA stashed behind the WORK BENCH!! RAT INFESTED STEAM TUNNELS!!

sounds like a plan!! it’s nice hmmrrffff - patty has an

what kind of soda?? EIGHTY-FIVE DOLLAR UNPAID
i can’t drink DIET!! to see we’re learning from
PAST MISTAKES!! TAB at the store. may be a good
opp to speak with her about that.

well, if there are NO MORE ques- LATE SATURDAY NIGHT...

tions i guess we can call it a night.
i’ll see ALL of you SATURDAY well that’s it!! it’s been EIGHTEEN HOURS and
MORNING. don’t be late!! still NO NEWT!! the boy is OBVIOUSLY LOST!!
sorry PETE, looks like we’re going to have to call in
did i mention i a SEARCH AND RESCUE EFFORT after all!!
have a SLEEP
DISORDER?? CRIPES!! i knew that little fart was trouble. the
sometimes i don’t PRESS is going to REAM ME AGAIN!! remember
wake up on time! everyone - i had NOTHING to do with this!! OKAY??

it’s my fault!! i’m the one gee i’m sorry i wasn’t

who told him to search there. ran into some
that side corridor!! road construction.

13
The Lost One(s)
WEIRD PETE’S

HEY YA BOB!!!
OFFICAL HACKMASTER™
what can i do for ya? TOURNEY SITE ON
SALE!
75% OFF
OPE SturmPYRE
MISSING N MINATURES!!

NOTICE: BATTLEHACK TOURNAMENT HAS BEEN

RCH.
DELAYED ON ACCOUNT OF SEA Newt Forager
Last seen in BSU SEARCH & RESCUE
Steam Tunnels. HEADQUARTERS
SAVE NEWT!!

i just heard the BAD NEWS!! NEWT FORAGER

is lost in the STEAM TUNNELS?? GRID ALPHA?? are
you sure?? HE’S
DOOMED!! that’s the
yeah, the little JERK didn’t listen to directions. section I was lost in.
. wandered off somewhere in GRID ALPHA!!! SEVEN DAYS* i fought
uh....not that i was there or anything. to cling to life in those
FOUL TUNNELS!!

i hope the SEARCH and

RESCUE party is large
enough to properly
SWEEP that section.

NOTICE:
The Games Pit has never
condoned nor encouraged
Steam Tunnel Excursions.

after THREE DAYS of searching some of the SEARCH COORDINATORS have decided it’s another HOAX!!
MORTIMER DUNLAP’s little prank last february is still fresh in their memories. SIXTEEN DAYS of search-
ing and it ends up the guy was in TAHOE playing NICKEL SLOT MACHINES and sipping JACK-N-COKES.

what are you saying?? they’re not taking this thing

SERIOUSLY?? i don’t know NEWT that well
but i DO KNOW he wouldn’t STOOP so low as to
give the GAMING COMMUNITY another
BLACK EYE by pulling some LAME STUNT!! CALLING OFF THE
SEARCH?? they can’t do
that, PETE!! somebody
regardless, they’re calling off the search has to do something!!
at MIDNIGHT if nothing turns up!!

* See KODT#3 (or BOT Volume One): Dueling GameMasters 14

 MOMENTS LATER...
you’re right!! do you have any idea what this kind
of thing does for my BUSINESS?? the press is hello, B.A.?? we got a
trying to lay this thing on MY SHOULDERS!! “GAMER IN THE HOLE” in
GRID ALPHA!! it looks
grim!! I’M GOING IN!!
well keep me posted on the status of the i could use some support!!
SEARCH AND RESCUE PARTY. i’m going to
call an EMERGENCY SESSION of the
KNIGHTS and see what we can do about this.
i already
okay. but do me a favor - heard!! better
what ever you guys are up get over here.
to, please keep my name out
of it. i got enough problems. roger that!! i’m grabbing
my gear and then i’m picking
up DAVE. we’ll be
RIGHT THERE!

MEANWHILE IN NEWT’S LATER THAT NIGHT...

APARTMENT ACROSS TOWN... okay, i just got the call from WEIRD PETE!! the
“meanwhile in other news, MUNCIE AUTHORITIES SEARCH AND RESCUE TEAM has been pulled
have announced they will be calling off the SEARCH for out!! they didn’t turn up ANY sign of NEWT.
a local boy who was reported LOST in BALL STATE’S
STEAM TUNNEL LABYRINTH last SATURDAY. MY GAWD!! it’s happening all over again!!
officials now believe that situation to have been a just like it did ELEVEN YEARS AGO!!
HOAX. we now turn to our ON THE SCENE reporter, FERGUESON’S FOLLY: THE SEQUEL!!
NILES NASH at the GAMES PIT!!”
nitro is a disgrace poor newt!!! i bet he’s
CALLING OFF THE to the GM’S
SEARCH?? GEEZE!!! scared to death!
SHIELD!!
i could be dying down if not dead
there!! what’s wrong already!
with these people??

SORRY B.A.!! i know what its like to be LEFT BEHIND _ to be abandoned by your SO-
bob, i know you spent a lot of CALLED “COMRADES” to FEND FOR YOURSELF!! DAVE and I are GOING IN!!
time preparing this “GAMER are you guys going to serve as our SUPPORT TEAM or are we ALONE on this?
IN THE HOLE” RESCUE
MISSION and all, but i’m
having some SERIOUS hey we ALL swore to the in the absence of a better
DOUBTS about letting you GAMER’S CREED didn’t we? plan, i guess i’m IN!! count me
guys put it into PLAY!! in dude!!

15
 dont’ get me wrong. if we well, uh.....er...i’m just i think what, B.A.’s trying to say,
DO this - i’m behind you not sure it’s a good idea BOB, is you’ll be facing the
ONE HUNDRED PER- for YOU in particular DEMONS OF YOUR PAST in
FINE!! put it on to be going back in
CENT!! it’s just that i have the table. what’s those TUNNELS¡¡ are you pre-
a few concerns i feel we there. bob. pared to deal with those
the problem??
need to address before we RESURFACED FEELINGS??
JUMP into this. but bob’s been there!
he knows the ground!
don’t CANDY-COAT
the words, SARA!!

there’s a MENTAL COMPETENCE ISSUE here

BOBBY-BOY!! there’s always been that NASTY
RUMOR that you FREAKED OUT during that
FATEFUL EXPEDITION eleven years ago and
INDIRECTLY caused FERGUESON’S FOLLY!!
THAT”S NOT TRUE¡¡ I WAS GOING FOR HELP¡¡ how
many times do i have to say it before it sinks in - HUH??
c’mon brian, that was a LOW BLOW!! you
know nitro tried making bob a SCAPEGOAT!!

nitro has i thought we all agreed to accept bob’s

ALWAYS main- version of the story, brian. besides, i
tained that the think bob’s willingness to GO BACK
GROUP got lost IN to rescue NEWT says A LOT!!
while searching
for YOU!!
good point!!

ANY OTHER CONCERNS?? i’m warning you, bob, if you make me

OPERATIONS COMMANDER, i want the authority
to PULL THE PLUG on this thing if i feel you’re getting
you guys are going to be in over your heads. and i won’t HESITATE to do so!!
uh, no, but i do have a question. our LIFE LINE while
i couldn’t help but notice you we’re down there!!
want SARA to serve as OPER- i want a COOL HEAD at
ATION COMMANDER!! i was the helm. sorry b.a.!! you got
a bit surprised...uh....me being the it sara!! agreed!
group’s designated GM and all. we trust sara!!

16
 good job, B.A.!! but i’ll want to check your PLOTTINGS against my own. i have a
FINE!! sara, you’re the OP-COM!! but gut feeling newt may have CROSSED OVER into the CITY SEWER SYSTEM!! if
while i was waiting for you guys to that’s true this MISSION may be BEYOND THE SCOPE of our abilities. however,
show up i went ahead and PLOTTED if we can find EVIDENCE that this is what happened we may be able to convince
several areas of TUNNEL the SEARCH MUNCIE OFFICIALS to REINSTITUTE the SEARCH and BEEF IT UP!!
PARTY failed to check. i suggest we
make these HIGH PRIORITY on the
MISSION TASK LIST!! CRIMINEY!! we may need sorry guys - NO GUNS!! i mean it!!
some REAL FIRE POWER!!
if newt’s in RAT HAVEN you
THE SEWERS?? you better take a BODY BAG!
mean RAT HAVEN??

okay, looks like you guys are fairly HEAVILY equipped. are you sure ALL that EQUIPMENT is NECCESSARY?? carrying
too much weight is only going to slow you down and bring on FATIGUE more quickly!! maybe we should eliminate a few things.

even so, let’s just go over what

ELIMINATE A FEW THINGS?? look missy, better to HAVE a THING and you’re carrying - just to be sure!
everything i’m carrying was selected after NOT NEED IT, than to NEED a
careful consideration and in-the-field experience! THING and NOT HAVE IT!! those who travel light
you seem to forget that I’VE BEEN THERE!! live to fight!!

better listen to
her, buys. after
all she’s the
OP-COM¡

okay, right off, i already see a few things i think you

could do without. dave, i’m afraid the MISSION ALLIGATORS IN THE SEWER¡¡???
REQUIREMENTS don’t call for a BASEBALL BAT!!

hey it’s for PERSONAL DEFENSE!! we

don’t know what we’ll be up against!! PULEEZE, that’s i forgot about those i think somebody left
haven’t you heard those rumors about just an URBAN BASTARDS!! THAT part out of the
MONSTER RATS in RAT HAVEN?? MYTH like dave’s right, we’re MISSION PACKET!!
ALLIGATORS in going to need some
yeah!! they say they’re the SEWER!! FIRE POWER!! just LOSE the BAT -
HUGE!!! like FREAKIN’ ALRIGHT?
GREAT DANES!!

17
okay, so what’s with the SLEEPING BAG?? do you REALLY LOOSE THE TENT!! now then.....uh...er.. excuse me,
think you’’ll be catching some Zs in the STEAM TUNNELS?? DAVE, but why are you wearing WAR PAINT?

i’m one-sixteenth ALGONQUIAN!! i’m try-

shows how much you know!! it’s not a sleeping ing to TAP INTO my NATIVE AMERI-
bag, it’s a SEVERE WEATHER SURVIVAL CAN ROOTS, thus drawing on any RESID- well lose the
SHELTER with GORTEX LINING!! UAL INSTINCTS or SKILLS my “HOOO-AAAH”
HERTIAGE may have instilled in me. mentality!! this
the SHELTER was MY is a MERCY
you’re going in a STEAM MISSION!!
idea!! during FURGESON’S TUNNEL not on an
FOLLY, hypothermia ALGONQUIAN?? i thought your
ARCTIC EXPEDITION!! family came from ohio, dude?
nearly did us in!!

and while yer at it, get rid of the okay okay, you can keep the face paint. now what’s that
NINJA HEADBAND or whatever it is. strange device you have around your neck?

it’s a PLUMB BOB!! i grabbed it

why do you INSIST on taking ALL the FUN from my dad’s workbench on the way
out of this thing - HUH?? what’s wrong with a plumB bob??
out. thought it might come in handy.
MENTALLY PSYCHING myself up with
the symbols of PROUD WARRIORS!!
but..uh...oh well, i
you ARE from guess you can take it.
ohio aren’t you? it’s for checking
VERTICALITY!! hmmm, i bet you could
check for slopping
verticality? corridors with that!

let’s turn our attention to that HUGE BACKPACK you i think you can leave behind the jaws of life and
have strapped on. what ON EARTH are you carrying in it? one or two cans of soup each should be sufficient
and if you conserve your water, ONE GALLON
should be enough for both of you.
i broke into the EMERGENCY EQUIP-
MENT SHACK on campus and JAWS OF
SNAGGED the JAWS OF LIFE - so LIFE?? oh c’mon sara, this is POINTLESS!! if it turns
THAT’S in there along with FOUR lord!! and a out we’re carrying TOO MUCH equipment we
GALLONS of WATER and a HALF CASE HALF CASE OF can DUMP IT once we’re down there!! i’m
of DOUBLE NOODLES SOUP!! SOUP?? not GIVING UP my EXTRA WATER!! no alright,
way i’m straining tunnel water through my alright,
iron rations?? underwear to make it potable again!!
they never heard of they they’re in
IRON RATIONS at laughed AISLE FIVE yeah, time’s a’ wastin’!!
the PRICE CLUB!! at us!! along with the
KIBBLE!!
iron rations?

18
okay brian, let’s go over the TECHNICAL
ASPECTS of the MISSION. are you
sure the RADIO HEADSETS have
enough range to keep us in contact??
YOU BET!! these babies have
a range of TWELVE MILES!!
course i’m not sure how much INTERERENCE we’ll run into. those
STEAM TUNNELS are filled with TELECOMMUNICATION CABLES
and HIGH VOLTAGE LINES!! as a precaution, i’m sending them in with a
HAND-HELD AERIAL which they can shove up through any MAN HOLE
COVERS or VENTILATION GRATES for better reception!!
you the man OUTSTANDING!! i’m proud of you
brian!! brian, good job.

wait, it gets EVEN BETTER!! i modified a LOW-JACK VEHICLE TRANSPONDER for you guys to carry
with you as a homing becon. by tapping into the police band and triangulating with the WMUN radio
tower, i can monitor your EXACT POSITION down to within THREE METERS right here with this unit
attached to my laptop. we’ll be able to talk you through and give you directions from the maps.

WMUN?? you sure this is

gonna work??
yea, your gadgets always
seem to be error prone...

i’m so proud of you guys!!! BRING

well....i guess we’re all set.
WEIRD PETE is going to drop
us off at ACCESS PORTAL
D-fi⁄ near the LIBRARY!!
we’ll make a COMMO
CHECK when we get there!
GOOD LUCK GUYS!!
it’s going to have to be a
COVERT OP!! campus police
have tightened security on the
access-ways to the tunnels.
NEWT BACK!! and BE CAREFUL!! don’t
take any unneccessary risks!! and remem-
ber, if i decide to ABORT this mission, no
arguments!! you guys come out!!
i’ll be there with you guys -
your VOICE IN THE SKY!!

19
TWO HOURS LATER≥≥≥
brian, i know this is a STUPID QUESTION, but you DID
put NEW BATTERIES in those HEADSETS!! RIGHT??
B.A., are you getting ANYTHING yet?? i don’t understand
this at all. we haven’t heard from them in over an HOUR!! for crying out loud, sara!! do you know how
INSULTING that is?? SHEESH!! hey, at
least we have some good tunes to listen to
NOTHING BUT STATIC!!! i STILL can’t from the triangulation off of WMUN.
raise them. their BATTERIES must be
DEAD or something. i’ll keep trying.
i...i’m sorry, brian. you’re right. NEW BATTERIES??
BATTERIES?? they’ve only been gone forget i said anything!! DAMNED RECHAREABLES!!
TWO HOURS!! surely NEW BATTERIES
would last longer than THAT!!

i’ll keep trying, but the clock i know, but let’s give them
is ticking!! if we don’t hear A LITTLE more time.
from them soon we’re going to
have to alert the police!!
˙øœ
˙øœ

and, we’re not getting their well, according to the PROTOCOL they’re not supposed to make
COORDINATES either?? any turns until RADIO CONTACT is RESTABLISHED!! where
should they end up if they stay on a straight course??

if they continue on a straight course the corridor eventually at least they’ll be see? those JAWS OF LIFE
DEAD ENDS at ACCESS PORTAL B-¤› in the BASEMENT safe. they should be are going to come in handy
of the ADMINISTRATION BUILDING. but they won’t able to find their way after all!! they’ll open
be able to get out THAT WAY!! it’s been SEALED by out from there. that SEALED entry way
the CAMPUS POLICE for years!!* like TIN FOIL!!

than gawd we didn’t take them into RAT

HAVEN before we LOST CONTACT!! ˙øœ

DAMN!! sssshhhh!! i hear SOMETHING -

where’s all this and it’s HEADING THIS WAY!!
SQUEAK!!
water coming
from?? maybe
we shouldn’t SQUEAL!!
have turned SQUEAK!!
back there.
SQUEAK!!

*See Nitro’s Bio in Who’s Who in the BlackHands. 20

 this is terrible. BOB AND
DAVE LOST?? (CHOKE)
that’s it sara!! it’s been
EIGHTEEN HOURS and
no CONTACT!! i think
we’d better call ·⁄⁄!!
DON”T BRIAN!! you can’t blame your-
self. it’s not yhour fault we lost
RADIO CONTACT with the boys,
relax, brian. no one is trying to
place the blame on you!! OKAY??
BLAME?? hey, it’s not MY
FAULT!! you were the ONE
in CHARGE of this thing.
okay. but just make sure you
remember that when you talk
with the PRESS!!

˙øœ

EIGHT DAYS LATER≥≥≥

GUSWEISER
THE WERKING MAN’S BEER

HAVE YOU
MISSING SEEN ME??

Bob Herzog Dave Bozwell

Last seen in BSU Last seen in BSU
Steam Tunnels. Steam Tunnels.

it ain’t the urinals, SWITCH!!! ...i’m tellin’ ya these RATS were

LENNY AND SQUIGGY down
there PICKED AND SHOV-
ELED their way out of the
say HAWG i think SEWER today and came up
you need to put a RIGHT SMACK DAB in the
couple of URINE middle of my POOL ROOM!!!
CAKES in the men’s i’m holding them as COLLATER-
restroom again. the AL until someone brings down
place smells pretty the money for the damages!!
RANK today!!!
UNGAWDLY!! they tracked us relent-
lessly - FOR DAYS!!! they’re smart too
yeah, yeah, rats the - HUMAN SMART!! one of them tried
size of GREAT to drag DAVE away in his sleeping bag
DANES! i heard you while he was trying to sleep. i had to
the first time, HALF beat them off with a LOUISVILLE
PINT? do you think SLUGGER!! then one of them lunged
you could sit down right at me from overhead and......
wind from me?
the zipper was stuck!! i
thought i was a goner!!

21
P.O. Box 736
Hampstead, NH 03841 E-mail: CaBil@aol.com
 Borne in Blood
By David Kenzer
I feared the raven greatly, now. In a gentle voice it
spoke: "Shrink not from me. For the cat I am not,
but the crow I am." Strangely, the crow lifted a foot
and pointed a single talon inland. "From the center
he will rise, last in the line. Master of none, ruler of
all, borne in blood is his seal."
Kabataroth, Book IV
Part I: First Adventure
unior was cheerful despite the relentless rain and
J the gloomy disposition of his companions.
Through the shower he could barely make out
Kaleb, some thirty yards distant, head bowed. Kaleb led
at a breakneck pace, eager to reach their destination.
Junior pondered their situation. They were on the last
day of a three day trek to the village of Sanasido in search
of Beranise, Kaleb's younger sister, whom Kaleb believed
to be kidnapped. Kaleb also believed that her kidnapper
intended to sell her to the slavers. The man who abduct-
ed her had not only a six hour head start, but a horse as
well.
In spite of the circumstances, Junior was in high spir-
its. This was his first journey outside the safe environs of
Melidu, his home town. Although this trip had so far
been dull and uneventful, his initial excitement had only
grown the closer that they came to their destination.
Junior was honored that Kaleb had chosen him. Plainly,
he could have requested one of the Ironheart brothers or
some other stout warrior to accompany him. Junior
looked back to ensure that his other two companions
were not lost or ambushed. The two grumpy old men
were safely walking ten paces behind, each with a cloak
wrapped tightly about him. They appeared peculiarly
glum to Junior; under normal circumstances they'd be
arguing about mentalphysicals or some such thing. He
elected to pause and wait for the magicians.
“Well?” grumbled Alado, the first of the pair.
“I just thought I'd check up on you two,” replied
Junior.
Thanks for your overwhelming concern and thoughtful-
23
ness,” replied Bili, his sarcasm lost on the young man.
Junior plodded alongside the grouchy pair, thankful
for the company. He considered the magicians; they did
not appear to be men of magic. Neither wore robes or
funny conical hats with stars and moons. In fact, Bili
dressed much like a country bumpkin. He generally pre-
ferred overalls and no shirt or shoes, especially on warm
summer days. When it was sunny he often wore straw
hats. Alado, on the other hand, tended to dress sophis-
ticated and flashy, favoring bright colors and brass but-
tons. Alado always said that smart people should dress
smart; to which Bili usually says that Alado is practicing
his illusions on himself.
Junior, who had only seen fifteen summers, thought of
them both as old men, and indeed they were both close
to twice his age. They appeared even older now since
their return; the two magicians left Melidu when Junior
was only seven to seek apprenticeship in a far away city.
They returned only last month. Junior, although he did
not fully realize it at the time, owed the men much
because when he was a small boy they had taught him to
read and write Kalamaran, his native tongue. These are
uncommon skills, especially for the son of a husband-
man. Years later, Junior was able to teach himself
Merchant’s Tongue, the common language of traders and
travelers.
“If you listen to the gossip down at Granny Bet's
you'll hear lots of people saying that Miss Beranise went
off and got married,” said Junior.
“Well, that's one theory...” began Bili.
“He is a rather rakish fellow,” interrupted Alado.
“And they say he's rich, too,” said Junior, excited now
that he finally had their attention.
“...however, I do not prescribe to that theory,” fin-
ished Bili.
“Nor do I,” agreed Alado.
“Lots of people in town think she's gone fer good.”
“If you were a wealthy, debonair, well-traveled free-
man, would you run away with a poor serf?” asked
Alado.
“She sure is pretty enough,” replied Junior.
“You have not seen pretty until you've seen the Dejy
dancers in Bet Kalamar,” said Alado with a far off, remi-
niscing gaze, “fine muscle tone, very athletic.”
“Yeah?” Junior saw the conversation taking a decided-
ly less gloomy turn.
“No, men like Ramus do not run away with peasant
girls,” finished Bili, ignoring Alado's interruption.
“I believe Kaleb may be correct in his assertion that
Ramus means to sell her into slavery,” opined Alado.
“It seems logical,” replied Bili, “she would make a fine
maid or scullery girl.”
“Or dancer?” asked a wide eyed Junior.
“Quite.” Alado threw a wet arm around Junior's
shoulder and began a new tale, “Did I ever tell you about
the dancing women of Bet Urala?”
Bili shook his head and snorted, “Harlots and wench-
es! You'll ruin that boy yet.”
The small company continued that way, Kaleb leading
far ahead and the other three men discussing topics rang-
ing from Emperor Kabori's political machinations to the
magical cure for halitosis. Junior was just inquiring as to
the origins of the basilisk when Kaleb came rushing back
through the downpour.
“A company of horseman is coming just over that
hill!” Kaleb's cloak fell back to reveal his homely face.
Kaleb's distraught expression made it appear downright
gruesome: his pig-like nose twitched, his harelip quiv-
ered, his wandering eye was out of control and his pro-
truding brow was furrowed where his thick eyebrows
overlapped.
“How far?” asked Alado.
“Imperial troops or a local lord?” inquired Bili, simul-
taneously.
“There were about fourteen traveling at a walk, per-
haps a quarter mile or so away. I couldn't make out their
banner through the mist.”
“Let's hide in that field,” suggested Bili, pointing to
the grassland off the road. Without another word the
four rushed off the road.
Junior threw himself down beside Alado in the tall
grass. They were about a bowshot from the road in a
field of three-foot tall, wild grass. The worried looks of
his companions told him they were in danger. His heart
pounded with excitement as he watched the road. The
feeling was not altogether different than when he and his
friend Ataka used to spy on the adults from the hayloft
above the Melidu town meetings.
Suddenly a whinny pierced the fog, followed by the
sounds of horses tromping down the muddy road.
Through the grass and the rain, Junior could barely make
out the Imperial troops passing by. Mounted, armed and
clad in mail, the drenched unit slowly clomped past.
24
Junior realized that his right hand was tightly clench-
ing his sword. ‘Reflex,’ he thought to himself. Junior
recalled his sessions with Dillan Ironheart, Melidu’s
blacksmith. ‘Keep yer blade in line with yer foe’s heart,’
old Dillan would say as his riposte jabbed Junior in the
ribs. Yes, learning to wield a sword from a grumpy old
dwarf was often a painful experience. Junior smiled.
The swollen welts and perpetual bruises now seemed well
worth it. With a sigh Junior pulled himself to his feet
and followed the others.
As soon as the soldiers disappeared into the rain,
Kaleb was on his feet. “C’mon, they’re gone,” said Kaleb
as he headed down to the road again.
“Now I know in Melidu we fear for our homes when
the soldiers come, but why do we hide here? Is this not
a free road?” asked Junior.
Alado rose, brushing dirt from his garb. “We hide
because imperial troops are dangerous.”
Bili nodded his agreement. “Not an ounce of moral
fiber. The chances are great that, had they seen us, we’d
be robbed or dead right now.”
The three headed down the road after Kaleb. Junior
just did not understand. These were his own country’s
troops. While Melidu seemed far removed from
Emperor Kabori’s affairs, it was by no means foreign soil.
“But don’t they have orders? Are you wanted for a
crime?” asked Junior.
“Of course they have orders. That doesn’t mean they
won’t take time out for sport. Had they met us, they’d
been likely to rob us, force us to grovel before them...”
replied Alado.
“Maybe eat mud, and perhaps beat us,” added Bili.
“How could they get away with that?” demanded
Junior.
“Out here they are the magistrate and the constable
both. They are the law,” explained Alado.
“And, we are committing a few crimes,” said Bili.
“Wha-what crimes?” Junior felt a little uneasy, but
deep down he felt his excitement swelling.
Bili explained further. “Well for starters, bearing arms
without right, theft, possession of stolen goods, and
probably trespassing.”
Junior stopped in his tracks, shocked. All number of
things ran through his head. His friends, men he’s
known since childhood returned as, as criminals! He
blinked, mouth open, unable to respond.
“Better close that mouth before you drown,” advised
Alado.
Junior’s eyes narrowed, “Just what trouble have you
brought on me?”
“Look, Junior, technically we’ve committed offenses
against our lord, but we’ve done nothing morally wrong.
We’re serfs. None of us are freemen. It is illegal for any
of us to leave our farms in Melidu. Furthermore,” Bili
pointed to the sword hilt poking out of Junior’s soaked
cloak, “only nobility and certain freemen have the right
to actually bear arms. Also, all of the clothes on your
back and change in your pocket are property of Lord
Udafan. We laid in some other lord’s field and travelled
down Kabori’s road without permission.”
“That doesn’t seem right. We’re not doing anything
wrong, we’re just traveling!” said Junior. “So what hap-
pens if we get caught?”
“We won’t. But if we did, they’d probably beat us to
near death just for the joy of it, then drag us back to
Melidu,” said Bili.
“Worst case, they cut off your hand and give us all
hard labor for stealing your sword and our clothes from
Udafan,” added Alado.
“But don’t worry, my boy. Alado and I have traveled
all around this Vast Empire. The worst that’s happened
has been a couple of bruises, especially our egos.”
“Oh.” Junior fell to silence as he turned all of this new
information over in his head.
As it neared evening the weary foursome finally
approached Sanasido. Junior’s excitement mounted;
Sanasido had a population of almost 2500, six-fold that
of Melidu. The group passed by first poorly patched
tents, then more solid-looking wooden hovels, with a
small shop or two mixed between the huts. Beyond the
ramshackle outer settlements, Junior could make out the
wooden town wall, and beyond that stood Sanasido
Castle.
“I can’t wait to see beyond the wall!” said Junior with
an enthusiastic clap. Glimpsing Kaleb, his smile faded
from guilt. “Uh, of course we’ll look around after we res-
cue Miss Beranise.”
“The town is closed for the night anyway.” Kaleb
explained. “They close it at dusk. Besides we can’t afford
the inns on the other side of the wall.”
“Yes, tonight we stay in the slums,” agreed Alado.
“Common room to boot.”
Although the others seemed unconcerned with the
sights and sounds, Junior couldn’t believe his eyes. He
had never seen so many people, and they were doing so
many different things! Here was a blacksmith finishing
up some masterpiece, there was a couple of street urchins
playing knights, on the corner was a crier announcing
the latest news and in the alleyway were some gamblers
playing at dice. Hawkers, ruffians, beggars, harlots, ped-
dlers, guardsmen and laborers, all going about their busi-
ness. There was even a musician, entertaining the crowd.
25
The street seemed alive, alive with humanity.
Alado led the four through the main street and even-
tually up to a larger building with a stone foundation.
Noise, laughter and light came from within. A sign
swung uneasily overhead. Although it was badly aged,
Junior could make out a picture of a drunken blackbird
on its back, and the words ‘The Roost’ written in
Merchant’s Tongue below it.
Junior woke before the dawn. The others were awake,
quietly packing or reading books. But the strangers that
shared the room with Junior and his friends were all still
sound asleep. Most of them probably just came in with-
in the last hour. Junior chose to lay quietly in bed, men-
tally reliving the events of the night before. Alado and
Kaleb went off to find out information on the where-
abouts of Ramus and Miss Beranise, leaving Bili and
himself behind at the Roost. There they watched a magi-
cian and some jugglers. But one thing was bothering
Junior: how had Bili taken the magic wand? Bili had
made poor ‘Zel the Great’ look like a buffoon. It must
have been pay-back for when Zel poked fun at the way
Bili was dressed. The whole room had a good laugh at
Zel’s jokes, that is, everyone but Bili. Zel used that wand
for almost every magic trick. He waved it about, evok-
ing its power to the delight of the crowd. It always went
from his belt to his hand and back. But, when it was
time for the grand finale, Zel reached for his wand, and
it was gone. Boy, he looked the fool. There sat Bili,
calmly twirled the wand on his long middle finger.
Grinning, he tossed it back to Zel and retired to the
common room. But how had Bili taken the wand? He
never even left his chair. He sat near the front, but he
never reached forward. Could Bili also be a skilled thief?
Kaleb’s voice interrupted Junior's thoughts, “all right,
time to get moving, before Ramus wakes.”
“So you found them?”
“Well, we got a good tip,” answered Kaleb. “Alado
seems to have a way with bribing people.”
After a quick breakfast, the four left the Roost and
headed for the west slums where Alado’s informant told
them Ramus was staying. In contrast to just before dusk,
the pre-dawn streets were nearly empty. With the excep-
tion of the occasional second story window opening, fol-
lowed quickly by a bucket-full of excrement, the town
seemed virtually deserted. The foursome left the main
road in favor of the side roads that would lead them to
the western side of Sanasido.
“Hey, Bili?” Junior broke the silence.
“Yes?”
“How did you steal that wand from Zel?”
 “Magic,” Bili answered with a grin.
“C’mon, really,” Junior pressed, “how did you man-
age to pull the wand from his belt without anyone see-
ing?”
“Look, the guy was a charlatan, a fake. I hate those
guys, they give us real mages a bad reputation,” Bili
explained. “Magic isn’t about hollow wands with flowers
stuck in them. It’s about the energy planes of the multi-
verse, the flow and control of that energy, extreme con-
centration and a great deal of practice.”
Overwhelmed, Junior’s eyes narrowed in concentra-
tion. “So you bewitched his wand with a magic spell?”
“Well...yes,” Bili smiled and measured an inch with
his thumb and index finger, “but, just a little one. I used
a simple cantrip to make the wand disappear from his
belt and at the same instant reappear in my hand.”
“By Fapeki!!” Junior was impressed.
“O.K., Ramus’ tent is right over there, across the
street, next to that alleyway” said Kaleb, pointing. It was
small, six foot by five foot, made of canvas and support-
ed by a middle pole and the building to its right. The
entrance flap faced the street. “Now, here’s the plan.
First, we quietly approach Ramus’ tent. Then, directly
between us and the entrance to the tent, Alado will
throw an illusion that looks like the street behind us, so
from the point of view of the tent, the street looks just as
it did before we arrived. Junior and Alado, you hide
behind the illusion, where you can’t be seen. Alado will
hold the illusion as long as he can. I’ll stand to the alley
side of the door flap. Bili will call for Ramus and then
move to the other side of the tent opening. Bili and I are
the bait. Since you two can’t be seen behind the two
dimensional illusion of the street, whoever comes out of
the tent will naturally turn toward either me or Bili. In
the process, they will expose their flank to you two.
When Ramus or his cronies exit the tent, Junior will
jump ‘em from the side. Me and Bili will stand our
ground to cover Junior in case more than one comes out
of the tent.”
“Wait a minute, what cronies?” asked Bili.
“The barkeep over at the Hearth told us that Ramus
was seen with a couple of goblin henchmen,” Alado
explained.
“You never mentioned anything about any goblins,”
complained Bili. “We can’t afford any delays. Combat
will be loud, too.”
“”Look Bili,” said Alado, poking a finger at him, “I did-
n’t pick the teams, I’m just along for the fun. Besides,
we’re outside the walls and it’s a little past dawn. No one
will care if there’s sword play in the shanties.”
“Sheesh, goblins. What do goblins look like?” Junior
26
was starting to feel a little queasy.
“They’re short, ugly and smell real bad,” answered
Bili.
“Look, enough bantering,” Kaleb said with a wave.
“Let’s get going while they’re still likely to be asleep.”
The four approached the tent. Bili, Kaleb and Junior
moved to the alley, while Alado went and stood at the
tent flap. He then turned his back to the tent and began
to wave his arms rhythmically.
“Junior,” Kaleb’s voice was but a whisper in his ear.
“Do not kill Ramus, we may need him alive. If Beranise
is not in the tent, he may be our only chance at finding
her. If the goblins come out of the tent, do not delay.
Dispatch them as soon as they turn to me or Bili. If you
even hesitate, they will kill us.”
Alado turned to face the tent, his arms spread wide.
Kaleb and Bili approached the shanty and Junior fol-
lowed, sword drawn. Kaleb positioned himself to the
left, quarterstaff at the ready. He signaled Bili.
Bili, giving his best drunken dwarf imitation, shouted,
“Ramush, you yellow bashtard, c’mon outta there and
pay me da money you be owin’ me.” He then moved to
the right side of the tent and tossed some horse dung
against the tent flap. It hit with a whack and landed
somewhere inside. A groan issued forth, followed by
some movement.
Junior’s palms were sweaty. He gripped his longsword
tightly and stood ready. Silence. Junior thought about
his sword, a family heirloom. What battles has my blade
seen? Am I as worthy to wield it as great grandfather?
Then suddenly the tent flap flew aside and a goblin
emerged, scimitar in one hand and the other quickly
moving to shield his beady eyes from the sun. The gob-
lin looked right at Junior, his eyes burning with anger.
Paralyzed, Junior stood gaping. The goblin immediately
looked to his right and almost in one motion swung his
scimitar at Kaleb. Astonished that the goblin did not
attack him, Junior watched dumbly as the scimitar raced
towards Kaleb. Of course, Alado’s illusion spell, he can’t
see Alado or me! Kaleb, surprised by the speed and sud-
denness of the attack, fell clumsily backwards, narrowly
avoiding the goblin’s arcing blade.
A voice in Junior’s head said, do something! They
brought you along to fight, not to watch. Kaleb was on
his back, quarterstaff held up before him to absorb a
downward blow. Showing a toothy grin, the goblin
stepped forward to thrust the death blow. Kaleb turned
his head. Shouting, Junior sprang forward, knocking the
goblin off balance. With his free hand, the goblin
grabbed Junior as he fell. At that moment a second gob-
lin emerged, scimitar bared. Junior and his foe fell in a
heap, crushing the side of the tent. Junior rolled on top
of his opponent and raised his fist to strike.
Unbeknownst to the wrestlers, the second goblin
chopped at Junior’s back with a mighty two-handed
downstroke. But the first goblin boxed Junior in the ear,
knocking him to the side, just in time for the speeding
scimitar to narrowly miss Junior and land with a sicken-
ing crunch, square in the middle of the first goblin’s
chest.
Junior lay stunned on his back, head turned to face
the alley. He could see Kaleb run down the alley and
turn left. Meanwhile, the remaining goblin planned to
finish Junior. Unable to remove his scimitar from his
dead friend, the goblin reached for his dagger. To his
surprise, the sheath was empty. Dumbfounded, he
looked down.
“Looking for this?” Bili, smiling broadly, held the
goblin’s wavy dagger. The goblin spun around and, with
amazing speed, lunged at Bili. Tripping on Alado’s out-
stretched leg, the goblin fell forward onto Bili. Bili let
the goblin slide to the ground, impaled on his own blade.
Junior had his sword and was on his feet in a flash.
Running down the alley and turning left, he was con-
fronted by another alley. Gripped by fear and anger, he
ran down the new alley. His shoulders nearly brushed
the narrow walls as he ran. Where could Kaleb be?
Then, to his right he heard the unmistakable sounds of
combat. Carefully, he rounded the next corner and the
noises grew louder.
Turning left, he saw them. Kaleb and Ramus were
fighting in a small clearing 20 feet away. Kaleb had sev-
eral open wounds and his quarterstaff was cut in twain.
Then, with a boot, Ramus suddenly knocked Kaleb
prone. Ramus’ back was to Junior. He brought his
swordpoint up to Kaleb’s chin. Kaleb dropped the rem-
nants of his quarterstaff. Then, Kaleb looked right at
Junior and their eyes met. Junior started forward, sword
drawn, but Kaleb shook his head ‘no’ and looked up at
Ramus. Junior stopped and waited in the shadows.
“You don’t want to die, do you?” Ramus was clearly
enjoying himself. “Beg for your life.”
“Tell me what you did with Beranise!” Kaleb
demanded.
“I don’t think you are in any position to make
demands of me,” and with his last word, Ramus pressed
his swordpoint hard under Kaleb’s chin. A small droplet
of blood ran down his neck. “By Rigel, your face is
revolting. I’ll be doing Tellene a favor by killing you
before you can reproduce.” Ramus removed his sword
from Kaleb’s throat. “But first, just to make your last few
breaths more miserable, I’ll tell you what I did to
27
Beranise.”
Reveling in his victory, Ramus began to pace in a circle
around Kaleb. “After I had my way with her, I brought
her here, as you know. Yesterday, I sold her at the slave
auction for 30 Imperials, almost twice her true worth. By
now, she’s at least halfway to Segeleta. There she’ll most
likely be a kitchen girl for Talos the Wool Merchant.”
Ramus stopped in front of Kaleb. Sneering, he spat out
his next words, “your sister is a slave and you failed to save
her.” Ramus pulled his sword back for the killing thrust.
“And now you die, harelip!” His sword plunged down.
Kaleb rolled to the side, but Ramus’ thrust bit deep into
his ribs. Dark blood sprayed out and Kaleb fell in a heap.
“No!” Junior ran from the shadows, sword gleaming.
Ramus spun to meet him, easily blocking Junior’s first
wild swing.
“So! They send a boy to do a man’s job,” laughed
Ramus. “En garde, whelp. Time for your last, and appar-
ently first, fencing lesson.”
Junior stood still, ten feet from his foe. Ramus began
to advance and then attacked. Junior’s reflexes took over,
he defended well. Unfortunately, Ramus was superior.
Soon, Junior was retreating rapidly, unable to give even a
simple riposte or stop thrust. Fear welled up inside him.
Junior could retreat no more, his back was just a few feet
from a stone wall.
Ramus halted his assault. “It seems you ran out of
ground, whelp.” Smirking, Ramus continued, “give my
regards to Galapiti, the Bringer of the Grave. This lesson
is over.”
Keep yer blade in line with yer foe’s heart. Junior low-
ered his sword point in line with Ramus’ heart. Ramus
attacked. Junior parried, rapidly brought his sword back
in line and thrust with all his might. Ramus blinked
twice in amazement as Junior’s blade plunged through his
heart. He dropped to his knees, his own blade clanging
down beside him. Grasping at the longsword, Ramus
tried to speak, but only blood issued forth. His eyes slow-
ly rolled up and he collapsed forward.
Junior fell to his hands and knees and vomited vio-
lently. When he recovered, Junior went over to Kaleb.
He stopped short in amazement. Kaleb was not only
conscious, but slowly chanting. Junior shook his head in
wide eyed wonderment as Kaleb’s wounds partially
closed.
“Nice form,” Kaleb said weakly. Junior just stood
there. Kaleb winked at him, “stop gaping and get your
sword. We need to find the others and get ourselves to
Segeleta.”
Junior smiled and savored the moment. You never for-
get your first adventure.
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 GAMEMASTERS WORKSHOP
No Experience Necessary
A NEW PRIESTHOOD CLASS FOR PLAYER CHARACTERS
POWERMASTER, The Harbinger of bald except for a braided shoulder-length tail of
Healing, The Invigorator, black hair. The Powermaster is clad in sleeveless
The Quickener blue robes with a large silver girdle. The
Stokkerr (Fhokki) Invigorator wields a silver maul (Foecrusher).
Strocor (Brandobian) Church: Temple of the Three Strengths
Stryjor (Dejy) Sacrifice and Frequency: Burnt herbs every ten
Sitiri (Kalamaran) days
Shozor (Svimohzish) Priesthood: Seekers of the Three Strengths
Seenoor (Reanaarese) Raiment: Priests wear blue sleeveless robes and
add a silver girdle at higher levels. They keep
their heads unadorned and shaved except for a
Spheres of Influence: Strength, medicine
braided pony-tail.
Alignment: Lawful neutral Advancement: Advancement within the Temple
Symbol: Mountain rising up through a cloud of the Three Strengths is through a yearly compe-
Holy Symbol: An equilateral triangle with blue, tition. Priests compete in contests of physical
white and silver angles strength, intellect, and renditions of spiritual
Holy Days: Every third week on Veshday songs, poems and stories. Those that do well are
Place of Worship: Each civilized kingdom has allowed to advance. Level titles for priests are list-
one major temple to Powermaster. The temple is ed in the chart below:
always located in a remote area. Temples to
Powermaster exist in a few cities, towns or villages Priests: The Priesthood of the Invigorator advo-
as well. cates strength of the body, mind, and spirit: the
Colors: Blue, white, silver Three Strengths. To have command of the
Animal: Ox strengths is to praise the Powermaster. Seekers
Appearance: The Harbinger of Healing appears believe that one’s body, mind and spirit together
as an enormous, strapping young being. He is are one’s personal temple to the Invigorator.

Title Raiment
Aspirant of the First Strength blue robe
Keeper of the First Strength blue robe
Aspirant of the Second Strength blue robe
Keeper of the Second Strength blue robe
Aspirant of the Third Strength silver girdle
Keeper of the Third Strength silver girdle
Aspirant of the Three Strengths silver girdle
Keeper of the Three Strengths silver girdle
Master of the Three Strengths silver girdle

30
 The Temple of the Three Strengths teaches that
one must be physically strong in order to main-
tain a healthy life. One must also possess a strong
intellect to keep one’s own health and to help oth-
ers maintain good health. One must be strong of
spirit to intellect to transcend the material world.
While priests generally possess great physical
strength, they are not overly aggressive and gener-
ally avoid physical confrontations unless pro-
voked. Some say that the Seekers of the Three
Strengths are just muscular cowards, but those
who have incurred their wrath say otherwise.
The Seekers of the Three Strengths are also
practitioners of medicine and healing. A noble
will often employ a Seeker as a personal physi-
cian, tutor or bodyguard.
The road an initiate must travel to become a
priest is long and demanding. An initiate devotes
seven hours per day to prayer and physical train-
ing and seven hours per day to meditation and
scholastic learning.
Non-Weapon Proficiencies: Healing (bonus),
herbalism (required), endurance (required),
ancient history, astrology, modern and ancient
languages, local history, reading/writing, religion
Crossover Groups: General/priest/warrior
Ability Restrictions: Strength-15, dexterity-15,
wisdom-15
Weapons Permitted: Maul and hammer
Armor Permitted: May not wear armor or use
shields
Level # of Attacks Unarmed Combat Damage
1 1
2 5/4
3 5/4
4 3/2
5 3/2
6 3/2
7 2
8 2
9 7/3
31
Powers: The Seekers of the Three Strengths are
immune to psionic attacks. They gain a bonus to
saving throws versus poison as dwarves. Their
wisdom is considered one point higher with
respect to mind influencing spells. May take
strength as a priest spell. Wounds treated by
these priests heal at three times the normal rate.
Lay hands. Unarmed combat consisting of kicks,
punches and throws allows these priests to dam-
age opponents as if using normal weapons.
Priests also become skilled in avoiding physical
attacks by others. These abilities are partly due to
physical training and partly due to faith as a
Seeker of the Three Strengths. Effectiveness
increases with experience level as in the chart.
Friends & Allies*: The Church of Everlasting
Hope, the Order of Thought, the Founder’s
Creation
Foes & Enemies*: The House of Shackles, the
Conventicle of Affliction, the House of Vice, the
Order of the Passionate One, the Confuser of
Ways
Sayings: Heal the soul and the body will follow. -
Discipline makes for great strength. - The three
strengths must be balanced to gain perfection. - A
farewell: Go in good health.
* see The Kingdoms of Kalamar vol II: Mythos of the
Divine and Worldly for information on these sects.
Natural Armor Class
1-4 7
2-5 6
1-6 6
2-7 5
2-8 5
3-9 4
3-9 4
2-12 3
3-12 3
 As a rule, martial arts are not common in most fantasy set- Skills
tings. AD&D originally broke this mode with the Monk char-
acter class. As 2nd edition came to the scene however, and Acrobatics
Oriental Adventures fell by the roadside, martial arts have seen Breakfall
little support in a non-eastern fantasy setting. KS: Harbinger's Healing Technique
In the Kingdoms of Kalamar, The Powermaster has follow- KS: Analyze Style
ers which more or less follow the path of the monk. The fol- KS: The Three Strengths
lowing martial art style seeks to bring these interesting priests WF: Maul
into the world of Fantasy Hero and has Fuzion notes included WF: Hammer
for those using the new system. For those interested in gaining
more information both Fantasy Hero and The Ultimate Elements
Martial Artists are available by Hero Games. Visit their web
site and see what other neat stuff they have! Weapons +1 Use Art with Hammer and Maul
http://www.herogames.com
For Fuzion, The Three Strengths has the following statis-
The Way of The Three Strengths tics. See the Champions New Millennium book for a com-
The Way of the Three Strengths is a martial art that has plete description of what the following skills do. The total
its focus on hand to hand fighting using the fist as it's pri- cost is for those who follow the Powermaster. All others
mary weapon. Only the Second Strength is a kick attack. would be charged the uncommon price unless they con-
The Hidden Strength is a nerve strike which is so unknown verted to the faith or performed some important functions
in most areas, that it's name is a given. Skilled practition- for the church. The uncommon price would be 36 option
ers are also taught how to use the maul and the hammer to points.
augment their fighting style. Those who worshiper the
Powermaster are taught the moves as they are listed, start-
Basic Strike
ing with the Initiates Way, and gaining the Third Strength
Breakfall
only as they become masters of the martial art.
Killing Strike
For those wishing to take the "Black Belt" perk from
Martial Arts Weapons (Only Maul and Hammer)
The Ultimate Martial Artists, it should now be considered
Martial Block
a "silver girdle." Those who wear a silver girdle without
Martial Dodge
paying for the perk will often by challenged by other priests
Martial Throw
of the Powermaster to see if they are worthy of the great
Nerve Strike
honor of wearing a "black belt." In a Fuzion campaign, a
Offensive Strike
"Black Belt" perk would cost one option point. In addi-
tion, many Seekers also take the perk License to
Practice/Doctor which in a Fuzion campaign, costs one Total Cost 18
option point. The KS: Harbinger's Healing Technique
should be treated as the KS: Chinese Healing.
For those who own Fantasy Hero and wish to use the spell
colleges, the college of healing, and the college of war from article written by Joe Kushner
the Fantasy Hero book are good choices to either take whole
or to base your own spells on.

Phs Pts OCV DCV Damage/Effect

The Initiates Way 3 +1 +0 STR +2d6 Strike
The Way
The Divine Shield 4 +2 +2 Block, Abort
of the The First Strength 4 +0 +2 STR +2d6 Strike
Divine Faith 4 - +5 Dodge, Affects All Attacks, Abort
Three The Second Strength 5 -2 +1 STR +4d6 Strike
Flowing Grace 3 +0 +1 STR + v/5; Target Falls
Strengths The Hidden Strength 4 -1 +1 2d6 NND (1)
The Third Strength 4 -2 +0 HKA (2 DC)

32
 GAMEMASTERS WORKSHOP
The Good,

Cehzillaozh quick to master the merman language after

Alignment: (neutral/good)
Occupation: Wizard
Skills: Creation of magic items and
potions
Motivation: Curiosity, Discovery
Weaknesses: Innocence
Cehzillaozh is the cause of the dramatical-
ly increased interest in the exploitation of
the sea. While he has been calmly and qui-
etly toiled in his laboratory for several years,
he developed a low cost water breathing
technique. His interest in underwater
herbalism led him to discover a rare type of
seaweed, which he dubbed Bubble Weed.
When specially treated, the plant can be
eaten by air breathers to allow them to sur-
vive underwater. This herbal concoction can
be created locally at such a low cost, that air
breathers should be able to stay on the
ocean's floor almost indefinitely. Bubble
Weed has thus far only been found in
Whimdol Bay, so Cehzillaozh immediately
put together an expedition to gather a large
amount of this component. He was also
his discovery, since he had only dabbled in it
before.
Cehzillaozh's only concern is scholastic
advancement. He is fairly naive in his belief
that others who follow him will also have these
noble goals. He has taken no precautions to
keep his discoveries secret and would willing
share the knowledge with anyone who showed
both an interest and the ability to use the
knowledge. Fortunately, Captain Effim has
taken a great liking to the scholar and is look-
ing out for his safety.
Cehzillaozh is an accomplished wizard,
but his specialty lies in underwater herbalism
and enchantment. He is an expert on scien-
tific and magical knowledge concerning the
sea, but so far he has little practical knowl-
edge. Cehzillaozh is a chubby little man and
does not seem cut out for adventuring. He
is very likable, and people that meet him
take an instant liking to him.
13th level human magic-user: S8 I18 W13
D11 C9 Ch14, AR7 (Ring), HTK30,
THACO16, DMG by weapon or spell.
Special: +3 Ring of Protection

Captain Efwhilmozh charted coasts, reefs and water currents.

Villdensver
Alignment: (lawful/good)
Occupation: Military Sea Captain
Skills: Leadership, Sailing, Navigation
Motivation: Discovery, Exploration
Weaknesses: Honesty, Compassion
Captain Efwhilmozh Villdensver
“Effim” joined the navy as a cabin boy
at the age of eight. As a member of a
minor noble family, he received special
care and training. By the time he was
thirteen, he could climb the riggings,
handle the helm, and plot a course as
well as sailors twice his age. His inquis-
itiveness and intelligence delighted his
captain and fostered his rapid advance-
ment.
Effim was given his own ship to cap-
tain at the age of 20. It was only a scout
sloop with three sailors, but he was
determined to show his ability. He
He explored dangerous seaside caves,
and most importantly, tracked three
separate groups of pirates back to their
lairs. His skill was rewarded, and he
was given a warship to command.
Effim is still a young go-getter. He is
handsome, brave and honest to a fault.
He has faced down the most vicious
storms and outmaneuvered the craftiest
pirates. He retains his yearning for dis-
covery, and it was this that got him
involved with Cehzillaozh. His ship,
the Cresting Saber, serves as the base of
operations for the exploration, though
he typically is underwater with
Cehzillaozh. At Cehzillaozh’s recom-
mendation, he too has learned the mer-
man tongue.
9th level human fighter: S17 I16 W15
D17 C16 Ch17, AR2 (elven chain +
Dex), HTK69, THACO12 (+S),
DMG by weapon.

33
 GAMEMASTERS WORKSHOP
The Bad,

Captain Llywendale sages along the coastline. Now outfit-

Alignment: (neutral/evil)
Occupation: Pirate
Skills: Swimming, Diving, Sailing
Motivation: Greed
Weaknesses: Treacherous Crew
Llywendale is the son of an elven
pearl diver. His mother taught him all
about the sea and the bounty that could
be found there. It was a lesson he took
completely to heart. Llywendale's
knowledge of the seas and the weather
made him a valuable addition to any
captain's crew. After serving many
years under others, he mutinied and
took the ship for himself.
Llywendale is a slight elf, but it has
never been his size nor his skill in com-
bat that have given him power. His
cunning and confidence have led him
far beyond the seaside waif he once was.
His ship, renamed The Oyster's Heart,
is fast, formerly used for carrying mes-
ted for quick attacks and adventurous
exploration, The Oyster's Heart is a
swift, shocking pirate vessel.
Captain Llywendale leads his men by
playing on their greed. Each one knows
that the longer their captain lives, the
longer they will see continued success
on the seas. Unfortunately, there may
soon come a time when the wheel
turns, and Llywendale will find himself
the object of a mutiny.
Llywendale is an attractive swash-
buckling type. He keeps his long, fair
hair in a pirate's ponytail and takes
great efforts to keep his boots shiny. He
also has a habit of wearing too much
jewelry. He speaks Svimohzish,
Merchant’s Tongue and Elvish.
7/7th level elven fighter/thief: S13 I16
W14 D18 C13 Ch16, AR4 (leather +
Dex), HTK40, THACO14, DMG by
weapon.

Janixk Janixk is a plain scholar. He stands

Alignment: (neutral)
Occupation: Pirate
Skills: Water Elemental Magic
Motivation: Search for Comtwaq
Weaknesses: Women
Janixk joined the crew of The
Oyster's Heart in an effort to locate the
mythical Comtwaq, a magical sphere of
water floating in the middle of the sea.
The legends say that water elementals
can easily appear at Comtwaq, and they
will reveal their secrets to anyone who
finds them there.
As a crewman, Janixk is one of the
most valuable during a chase. His
knowledge of water magic can often
give his ship advantages or hinder an
enemy. He can even summon a water
elemental to aid his cause, but is typi-
cally reluctant to do this unless in an
emergency.
out among his crew mainly because of
his lack of color. No matter how long
Janixk is in the sun, he will never tan.
He believes it is because his close ties to
the water will not allow fire (the sun) to
have any hold over him.
Like many sailing men, Janixk has a
weakness for women. Unfortunately,
Janixk's problem is that he is unable to
get one. Socially, he is incompetent,
and his many failures reduce his confi-
dence even more. He greatly desires a
relationship with a beautiful woman,
but has failed with every attempt. He
even fails when one of his friends sets
him up. His failures are well known,
and he is very touchy about them.
10th level human magic user: S10 I17
W16 D14 C11 Ch7, AR5 (Bracers of
Defense), HTK19, THACO19, DMG
by weapon or spell.

34
 GAMEMASTERS WORKSHOP
And The Ugly

Wimscanaroo Wimscanaroo began to acquire more

Alignment: (neutral)
Occupation: Witch
Skills: Seer Powers, Medicine
Motivation: Privacy
Weaknesses: Failing Senses
Wimscanaroo is a hideous old witch
who lives near Neaesquatila. She was
ostracized decades ago due to her repul-
sive features. Knowing she would never
attract a husband, her father tried to get
her interested in magic, typically a soli-
tary profession anyway. She took to her
schooling immediately and proved her-
self not only a capable student, but
quickly surpassed her masters. Fear of
this upstart witch teamed with her
looks ensured she would need to leave
the city to find peace.
Wimscanaroo and her father left the
city and began living on their own.
With infrequent visits to the city,
and more knowledge of magic. When
her father died, she was able to make a
living by selling spells and charms to
those that came to visit her. She has
also been able to extend her life, so far
to twice the normal lifetime for mer-
maids.
As the most learned witch in the area,
Wimscanaroo finds herself consulted
by merfolk from all walks of life. Her
love charms and cure alls are well
known despite the fact that no one ever
admits to going to see her. Payments
are usually in food or necessary items,
but she has been known to give freebies
to those who compliment her looks and
are not repulsed. Her desire for new
knowledge can also be used to trade for
help or advice.
14th level mermaid magic user: S10 I18
W17 D9 C11 Ch3, AR7, HTK26,
THACO16, DMG by weapon or spell.

Trolaentru Porpoises and they increase their abilities

Alignment: (lawful/good)
Occupation: Nomads
Skills: Bardic Songs
Motivation: The Pursuit of Happiness
Weaknesses: Lack of Limbs
Trolaentru porpoises are a strange
breed of intelligent dolphin. They live
in family groups called tribes and swim
the warmer areas of the sea. They are
gray in color with some white mark-
ings. The only way to distinguish tro-
laentru porpoises from normal porpois-
es is to examine their heads. The tro-
laentru have larger heads, causing a
bump to extend along the top of the
body.
The trolaentru porpoises have special
abilities. Not only do they have a com-
plete language, but they are capable of
using bardic song and can cast spells.
This ability begins in early adolescence,
throughout their lives. Even when not
spell casting, trolaentru will typically
sing as they swim. They are unable to
mimic humanoid speech patterns and
have therefore had a very difficult time
communicating with other races. They
have had some success when using
magic and hope to gain more ground.
Like other porpoises, the trolaentru
are air-breathing mammals, something
that causes them to be disliked or even
hated by other aquatic life. They have
a deep resentment for sharks, and will
typically attack a shark on sight. As
allies, they can be extremely helpful,
and trolaentru porpoises should proba-
bly be credited with most of the stories
about sailors being saved by dolphins
and porpoises.
HD6, AR7, THACO13, DMG jab
with nose for 2-8. Special - spell abili-
ties equal to bard level 1-8.

35
 GMW1 K&C102

a b le Game Master’s Workshop

va il volume one: Beneath the Waves
A
O W
N ur
o
at y
ca l
lo
o r e.
e st
gam
ly
On
.9 5
$9

Game Master’s Workshop, Beneath the Waves and the Kenzer and Company Logo are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.

Danger awaits bold adventurers beneath the waves of Whimdol Bay in this the first
volume of an exciting new line of RPG products from Kenzer and Company. This
56 page World supplement offers the Game Master a wealth of generic source
material upon which to build an extended series of adventures in any rules system.
43 NPCs are fully detailed in regards to their personalities, motives and general
abilities in The Good, The Bad And The Ugly™
(a sample of which appears on the previous three
pages). Bait, Snare & Bag™ contains 16 pages of
“Adventure Hooks” for the Game Master to devel- L
CIA !!
op. All Things Magic™ contains many new spells
S PE US odt
and magic items for use in an underwater cam- N k
BO inal und
paign. Game Master’s Workshop: volume one g o
4 ori rts f else.
“Beneath the Waves” is set in The Kingdoms of
Kalamar but useable in your own campaign world sho here
[if applicable]. now
 all things
Welcome, friend, to the Game Masters Workshop's new
feature, All Things Magic. Here lies a showcase for a
sampling of those specially dweomered objects hidden
away in the Riftmaster's caves among the highest high
mountain peaks. The Sorcerer Supreme encourages all
of you aspiring Keyholders to submit magical items of
your own creation to share with others who wield the
craft.
Plampern’s Instant Gate - This horseshoe sized stone
archway radiates moderate magic if the dweomer is
checked. When cast away by the user, the archway
magically opens a man-sized gateway 10’ from the user,
to another place in the world of Tellene. The location
of the other side of the gate is determined randomly by
the gamemaster. Distance is not a factor. The gate will
always open to a place with air on the other side but
this could be above water or inside an underground
cavern. Users may not see through the gate. The gate-
way lasts for 30 seconds. All living beings passing
through the gate will instantly age 1 year. When the
gate closes, the miniaturized gate will drop to the
ground on the same side of the portal as the user.
Lantern of Faith - This magic item is made with a spe-
cially blessed bull’s eye lantern. The lantern must be
filled with blessed oil for any magical properties to be
evoked. When used with blessed oil, the lantern may
be shone across any gap up to 30 feet long to create a
narrow (2’ wide) path of light. Normal light will
extend up to 30 feet beyond the magical light. When
this happens, the magical light path may be walked
upon as if it were tangible and could actually hold any
amount of weight. The trick to the device is that those
using it must make a roll under their wisdom on a 20
sided die to ensure the light beam will support them for
the complete distance of the span. This check can be
made at any point along the path at the discretion of
the GM. Once a character fails such a check he or she
may never successfully cross the beam of faith again
and all those witnessing such a failure get a cumulative
+1 modifier to any of their own future checks. If the
check is failed, the beam will become normal light to
that person ever after.
Boots of Air Walking - These useful boots allow the
wearer to walk in air as if he or she were fully support-
ed by stable ground underfoot. The user may climb or
descend as if climbing stairs or a ramp and even run or
37
leap. It user may not move vertically upwards via levi-
tation but may appear to ascend an imaginary spiral
staircase or a steep incline. The user’s normal rate of
movement is unaffected by the boots.
Cloak of the Porcupine - This brown cloak normally
appears with hundreds of long sharp quills harmlessly
matted down. At will, the user may extend the quills
into a defensive position while crouching over and cov-
ering his or her face. Anyone struck by or striking the
user will by stuck with 1-10 of the sharp quills and suf-
fer one point of damage per quill. The quill causes a
painful wound which will force a morale check for all
those so struck. The armor rating conveyed by the
cloak is 8. The cloak may not effectively be worn over
armor.
Mirror of Aura Reading - This normal looking mirror
will expose the general alignment aura of all those
reflected by it. The aura will appear as a faint hue sur-
rounding the individual. A blue aura corresponds to
good and a red aura corresponds to evil. A focused and
well defined aura is associated with those who follow
law while an irregular flickering aura corresponds to
those expousing chaos. The aura will show more
intensely for those with extreme outlooks.
Harness of Taming - This device may be used with any
standard mount and may even be fitted to some non-
standard animals. If the user can successfully dress the
animal with the harness, the creature will become docile
and allow itself to be ridden where previously it might
not have. This does not convey any extra strength to
the mount so a dog would not be a very effective animal
to tame with the harness but it would allow a small
enough rider to control it. If the harness is removed, the
animal will revert to its prior temperament.
Potion of Borrowed Life - This magical concoction will
temporarily (2-24 hours) imbue a deceased person
with life. The length of time the person has been dead
does not matter so long as the majority of the skeletal
structure remains. The person so imbued will quickly
regenerate into a body consistent with his or her prime
of life, free from any prior ailments. The person will
have the same mind and motivations as he or she had
in life and is likely to be confused and disoriented as he
or she will remember having died in the past but have
no knowledge of events which have transpired since
then. When the potion effect runs out the reanimated
body will quickly revert to its prior state.
Potion of Hairlessness - This mixture will cause the
imbiber to permanently lose all hair from his or her
body over the course of a day. The process can be
stopped by a dispel magic but lost hair up to that
point will not grow back.
Shoes of False Tracks - These comfortable shoes allow
the wearer to walk in a normal manner. However, the
user can make any tracks left behind appear to be that
of any other creature. This could be used to mislead
others or to effectively avoid leaving tracks entirely by
selecting the simulated creature to be a gnat or the
like. The shoes continually function by leaving tracks
of the last creature type stated by the user. In order to
change track types the user must specifically
announce the change. The user may leave his or her
own normal tracks if desired.
Ointment of Dryness - This ointment can be used to
provide complete water proofing of a magical nature
to any surface. Thus, a book covered by this sub-
stance could never become wet. This also means that
paper treated in this manner could never be written
on with normal ink although dry writing instruments
would work. A sack treated with this substance and
securely fastened shut would not allow its contents to
become wet even if submerged in water for an
extended period of time. Avoid eye contact.
Armor of Electrification - This magical protection
can be made from any type of finely crafted metal
armor. The armor gradually builds up an electrical
charge over the course of a week at the rate or one
point per day up to a maximum of 7 points. Any
contact on the outside of the armor by flesh or metal
will discharge the electrical energy with a large spark
resulting in damage equal to the number of points
stored up to the person who caused the energy to be
discharged. The wearer of the armor will be stunned
from the discharge for 1 round.
Potion of Vomiting - This bizarre concoction will
impose an irresistible need to vomit upon the
imbiber. The user will not stop until a full 8 gallons
of vomit has been released. This will happen rather
quickly since the source of the illness is of a magical
nature. An unsettling side effect is that the magically
created vomit is fully edible, filling and nourishing to
those who are “foolish” enough to consume it them-
selves. Another side effect is that all those within 30
feet will be 50% likely to vomit themselves although
this is not magically induced.
Sketch Pad of Creation - This powerful device allows
the user to depict any creature or thing and cause it
to become real. Thus, a door could be drawn in a
dungeon cell and it would magically appear a short
time later. However, the door will not lead anywhere
unless the drawing originally shows it doing so. Once
an object is created a new page must be used for fur-
ther effects. A user could draw a mount for himself
but the magically created animal is free willed and the
38
pad does not convey any influence or skill to control
creatures so created. Nor does the pad convey artistic
ability. If a character specifically possesses this sec-
ondary skill, the player may simply state what he or
she wishes to draw. Otherwise, the player must actu-
ally draw the item desired. These pads typically con-
tain up to 24 sheets when new.
Book of Infinite Pages - This small notebook contains
50 high quality blank pages. As they are filled with
writing towards the end, there will always appear to
be one more page. As more and more pages are filled
the book will continue to retain its original size and
weight. Previously written on pages may be easily
returned to at any time. If the book or pages are torn
in any way, it will lose all magical properties and the
contents will revert to 50 random pages out of the
material that had been entered.
Box of Freshness - This small wooden chest may be
used to store any perishable item. While so enclosed,
the item will remain as fresh as the moment it was
placed in the box. Living beings small enough to fit
in the box will not age while so enclosed. Normal age
degradation will continue if the item is removed from
the box.
Ring of Slothfulness - Most role-playing games
assume the characters are in their peak condition and
continually hone their skills and abilities to maintain
such a state. This cursed ring causes a general sense
of malaise and laziness in the wearer. Over time this
will have the effect of reducing the abilities of the
character at a rate of one point per month until all
abilities are at their racial minimums. The ring also
conveys a bonus of +1 protection to armor rating and
saving throws.
Everlasting Beacon - This devise is a 6” circular disk
with a thickness of 1”. The disk glows with bright
daylight for a distance of up to 60’ in a periodic pat-
tern. The disk spends one minute glowing and the
next minute off and so on.
Mace of Repulsion - This mace provides a +1 bonus
to hit and damage rolls. When in the hands of a
priest, it allows its special power to be used. When
the priest is fighting any undead monster, one suc-
cessful hit will engage a powerful repulsion effect cen-
tered on the head of the mace. Multiple undead will
be similarly affected if just one is hit in combat.
Undead within 10’ will be repelled back by an invisi-
ble force and physically unable to touch the wielder.
Those living beings within 10’ of the wielder will gain
a minor benefit of being 20% harder to hit from
attacks by undead opponents. The effect will contin-
ue for up to a full hour at which time another hit
must be made to engage the special power again.
article by Brian Jelke

RETRO
KODT Opportunity Knocks
okay, that’s a wrap. i won’t be able to play this
weekend. my AUNT NUDRA is coming to town and
i promised my parents i’d do the FAMILY THING.
WHAT?? no game this weekend?? i told
you not to FREAKIN’ spring these
things on me at the last minute??
NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
SORRY?? i told you before – take your “SORRY“ and
SHOVE IT in your DICEBAG!! you were OUT OF CON-
TROL last time we played - you know that?? PAINT-
BALL, my friend, is a GENTLEMAN’S SPORT!! you don’t
resort to HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT TACTICS
just because you’ve ran out of AMMO!!
he’s right, brian.
some of the wadda ya whining about?? all i did
was BUTT-SLAM you with the
guys have been
NON-BUSINESS end of my GUN!!
complaining!!
what the HELL are you saying?? that it makes a
DIFFERENCE if the DEER SLUG is fired from a RIFLED
or SMOOTH BORE barrel?? ARE YOU NUTS??
well in CYBERHACK a actually it’s ⁄‡ PERCENT,
SMOOTH BORE has a ¤‚ dave, but i’m glad to see
PERCENT greater chance of you’re finally starting to
missing than a RIFLE!! grasp the rules.
The Never-Before-Seen Past Adventures
of the Knights of the Dinner Table
hey dude, there’s plenty of things to do. OPPORTUNITY IS
KNOCKIN’ as we speak!! why don’t we go play PAINTBALL at
DEVER’S GULTH?? we haven’t played in AGES!!! i hear the
BLACK HANDS are taking on all CHALLENGERS this weekend!!
BAAA!!! paint ball sucks!! i said i was sorry,
last time i played i got a JOHNNY!!
BRUISED KIDNEY!!
BLACK HANDS are challenging??? no way!! THEY
CHEAT!! besides they TURBO-CHARGE their PAINT
BALL GUNS!! i heard NITRO bragging to WEIRD PETE
that he could punch a hole in an 1/4 inch SHEET OF PLY-
WOOD from FIFTY YARDS!!! that could KILL someone!!
SO WHAT? my POLY_LAMINATE FIBRE-WEAVE
COMBAT ARMOR can withstand ANYTHING!!
ANYTHING?? dude, you’re WHACKED!! deer slug?? rifled
can it stop a ⁄¤ GAUGE DEER SLUG?? or smooth bore?
¡¡??
look, my point is, there are PLENTY of other things we
can do this weekend besides play HACKMASTER!! i was
only suggesting PAINTBALL because we haven’t played
in a COON’S AGE!! i’ve put on FIFTEEN POUNDS since
i started playing with you guys. we need to get OUT and
do things more. like kick around the SOCCER BALL, or go
ROCK CLIMBING down at the QUARRY!!
hey, i got a great SOCCER BOARD
GAME . ya wanna play?? oh yeah?? can
i play the
BRAZILLIAN
TEAM????
39
 whoah, whoah, WHOAH!!! hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but you were REALLY on to a GOOD IDEA there!!
i think you guys SHOULD take a break from GAMING and do something different. we’ve all become
GAMER_SLUGS lately. i can’t even think of the last time i got some REAL exercise. do yourselves a
FAVOR and take DAVE’S ADVICE!! get away from the table and DO SOMETHING!!

what?? you think i have NO
LIFE outside of GAMING?? is
THAT it?? i do PLENTY of stuff
besides play HACKMASTER!!
my life is FULL and COMPLETE!!
gee, i didn’t mean to start some-
thing here. i just thought it
would be FUN to do something as
a GROUP away from the table.
hey you can all come to my place
and we can watch KNEE DEEP IN
ORCS on video and order PIZZA!!
do you have the EDITOR’S CUT??

obsidian clan-warrior?? dude, there’s a CHEAT for

hey that sounds like fun. i’ll
bring my GAME-BRAT and
CLOSE to reaching the THIRD
CARTRIDGES!! we can play
video games AFTER the movie.
oooooooo, do you have FULL
CYBER JACKET?? i’m THIS
LEVEL!!! the OBSIDIAN
CLAN WARRIOR takes me
out EVERYTIME on the
DRAWBRIDGE!!
that. you aim your BLASTER in the opposite direction
and HOLD DOWN the fire button. then push the
JUMP BUTTON twice. it will teleport you PAST
the DRAWBRIDGE and rack you up fi,‚‚‚
POINTS to boot!! IT ROCKS!!!
some cheat!! you NEED the KEY RING
from the OBSIDIAN WARRIOR to
enter the KEEP on FITH LEVEL.

the KEEP on FIFTH LEVEL?? awh, dude,
there’s a CHEAT for that too. all you gotta
do is place yer guy to the left of the gate and
punch the brick with a GREENISH-HUE
repeatedly. you’ll take TWO HITPOINTS
of damage but that’s all. EVENTUALLY the
brick will turn into a MARLBORO LOGO
and you’ll be TELEPORTED past the GATES.
hey BRIAN, can you bring yer PAINT and BRUSHES?? i wanna
touch up my MINIATURES while i watch the movie. my nephews
were over the other day and trashed my ORC LEGIONS!
sure but i’ll have to charge you. for TEN BUCKS!! i can
put you together a BASIC FANTASY PALLET of EIGHT
COLORS. i’ll even throw in a DOUBLE-AUGHT BRUSH!!!!

can you write huh? are you sure??

these down i didn’t know that. forget that!! i thought we could play a few
for me?? i’ll try it when i get rounds of NUCLEAR BLITZ during the flick.
home tonight.

40

MY GAWD!! it’s worse than
i thought. EVERYTHING you
guys do REVOLVES around
gaming. YOU’RE PATHETIC!!
hey they were a GIFT!! and i ONLY wore them that
ONE time. how many times do i have to tell you that??
those are MIGHTY STRONG what a horrible image THAT was!! i
WORDS coming from a guy who wears didn’t even realize they made ADULT
HACKMASTER PAJAMAS !! PAJAMAS with BUILT-IN BOOTIES!!

hey it was a GAG GIFT!! i never

expected you to actually WEAR them!!

here’s the deal!! if you guys can go the

look BRAINIACS!! maybe i’m OVERSTEPPING the line here, ENTIRE weekend without PLAYING A
but as your GAME MASTER, i can’t help but feel responsible GAME, i’ll reward each of you ONE THOU-
for your HEALTH AND WELL BEING!! therefore i’m going to SAND EXPERIENCE POINTS toward the
give you a little ADDED INCENTIVE to get OUTDOORS ADVANCEMENT of your CHARACTERS!!!
this weekend and do something NON-GAME RELATED!!

YER DAMN RIGHT you’re overstepping the line

MISTER!! what we do during with our time AWAY
from this table is our own freakin busine......HUH?? and you have
INCENTIVE?? does it involve CASH!! to do something
OUTDOORS!!!
oh great!! he’s become do we have a
BARNEY THE GM, now!! deal??

ONE THOUSAND EXPERIENCE POINTS??

A LITTLE LATER≥≥≥
HOODY HOO!!! well you can just call me MISTER
OUTDOORSMAN!!! that’s enough to kick EDDIE THE WAIT A SECOND!! it just hit me.
RANGER-TERMINATOR up to EIGHTH LEVEL!!! you guys are MAKING A GAME out
of this. that’s not what i had in mind!!
the WHOLE point is to get you guys
OH YEAH BABY!!! hmmmmm....looks like the NOT to GAME for a few days!!
those E.P.S are as JOHN-MEISTER is going to
good as MINE!!! give up gaming for a few days.
those are some EASY E.P.’S!! uh, uh, NO BACKPEDDLING,
B.A.!!! you made the rules!!
just be ready to SIGN OFF
i LOVE a challenge!!! KICK ASS!! on my character sheet next
me too!! week to CERTIFY those
EXPERIENCE POINTS. i
might have to explain how i
earned them some day.

41
RETRO The Never-Before-Seen Past Adventures
KODT The BassMasters of Muncie of the Knights of the Dinner Table

hey brian, i owe you an apology!! borrowing your dad’s BASS

ACCEPTING B.A.’S BOAT turned out to be a GREAT IDEA after all! this baby
can really HAUL ASS¡¡ but, what’s the BIG HURRY!!!
CHALLENGE AND LURED BY
CRIMINEY!! i didn’t know the i’m pretending we’re a P.T.
THE PROMISE OF “EASY BOAT and that we’re
MISSISSENEWA RESERVOIR was so
EXPERIENCE POINTS” FREAKIN’ HUGE!! it’s like an OCEAN!! patrolling JAPANESE
SHIPPING LANES!
THE KNIGHTS TAKE A
VOW – TO SPEND A
WAA
WEEKEND WITHOUT AA¡

PLAYING ANY GAMES

AND TO EXPERIENCE THE
“GREAT OUTDOORS”!!

THIRTY MINUTES LATER≥≥≥

the TOKYO EXPRESS is somewhere out here
attempting to supply the the UPCOMING invasion bri...bri...BRIAN!!! there’s a boat - A
of the SOLOMON ISLES!! we’re the ONLY thing BIG BOAT!! it’s crossing our path!!
in it’s path!! WE”VE GOT TO STOP THEM!!
HOLY MOLELY!!! that’s NO BOAT!!
it’s AN IMPERIAL BATTLESHIP!!
KEWL!! i’ll keep BATTLE STATIONS EVERYONE!!!
an eye out for we’re making a TORPEDO RUN on her!!
SPOTTER
CRAFT!! i think it’s the YAMATO, sir!! and she’s
turning to engage her MAIN GUNS on us!!
WAA
AA¡
hey that guy is
waving us off!! TAKE COVER!!

LATER AT BRIAN’S “SECRET” FISHING SPOT≥≥≥
hey JOHNNY, where the
hell is YOUR fishing
pole?? you’re gonna miss
ALL THE ACTION!!
i just came for the RIDE boys so i can QUALIFY
for those EASY E..P.S b.a. is going to give us for
doing something OUTDOORS!! you guys go ahead -
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT!!
yeah, i think i gotta
a BITE already.!! awww, that guy is just
i’ll keep an eye out sore because we SANK
for that CRAZY HIS BATTLESHIP!!
FISHERMAN in (snicker)
case he starts
chasing us again!
hey dave, cast in the
OTHER direction!!
you’re fishin’ MY
spot!

42
A LITTLE LATER≥≥≥
WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE FISH?? we’ve been
sittin’ here for TWENTY MINUTES and
NOTHING!!! this “SECRET” fishing spot SUCKS!!
where the hell is that
sssshhhhh, i think
i got a bite!! c’mon noise coming from?? does
baby - take the anyone else here that
beeping sound??
worm. c’mon baby!!
huh?
meep!
meep!
meep!
A WEE BIT LATER≥≥≥
CRIPES!!! C”MON i sure hope this fi‚‚ POUND
ALREADY!! i ain’t got a TEST LINE is STRONG
FREAKIN’ NIBBLE yet!! ENOUGH!!! the way this OL’
GIRL is acting, i bet she’s a
REAL FIGHTER!!
when i get back i’m gonna email GARY JACKSON and let
him know about this. i think his figures are off or something.
it’s too bad we didn’t bring a couple of dice? we’re in
dice. we could’a rolled them every hour luck. i threw my
to see what we would have caught if DICEBAG in my
we were fishing in HACKMASTER TACKLE BOX -
uh...just in case.
43
it’s just my BASSMASTER fi‚‚‚ DIGITAL
HOMING LURE!! it sends out an ULTRA-SONIC
PULSE which is supposed to drive the bass MAD!!
cost me FIFTY BUCKS but i figure it’ll be worth it!!
hey cut the chatter!! i think i got a bite!!
this one’s a WISE ONE!! she’s testing me!!
you’re putting a FIFTY DOLLAR lure yeah....
on a POCKET FISHERMAN?? so?
meep!
meep!
meep!
fi‚‚ POUND TEST LINE?? you fishin’ for
BLUE MARLIN or something?? SHEESH!!
i don’t understand. we’ve been here for nearly
an hour!! in HACKMASTER you have a base
¤fi PERCENT chance of landing a fish every
TURN!! AND in a TEMPERATE body of
FRESHWATER you get a +5 MODIFIER
you brought DICE?? gee, i threw my HACK-
MASTER BOOKS in my BACKPACK before
i left. just in case things got slow - thought
i could do a little READING between bites.
you know if we had a table i bet
we could get a game going. uh...if
we weren’t fishing that is.
 hey, is that a PICNIC
TABLE over there on shore??

THERE!! put er in right there along those rocks!!

HERE, HOLD MY POLE.
I’LL START THE MOTOR
you guys grab the good idea!! i’ll give you a
table!! i’ll run over TEN SPOT!! see if you
i’ll get the to that CAMPER can COMMANDEER some
anchor!! TRAILER and see if SNACKS and SODA!!
let’s go!! they have any pencils
and paper!!
yeah, see if they
have any DIET
SNAPPLE!!

THE FOLLOWING WEEK≥≥≥

okay, so let’s have it!! do i

AWARD you guys the just SHUT UP and start
EXPERIENCE POINT running the game - OKAY??
INCENTIVE or not??
did you manage to go an
ENTIRE WEEKEND with-
out GAMING??

44
 BONES OF RUIN
By Jolly R. Blackburn
Part I: Cold Stew and Bruises
“Quiet, little one!” the fox said gently to the rab-
bit as he sat down at the table.
“You are my guest tonight. No harm shall come to
you under my roof.”
The rabbit looked into the bowl that had been
placed before him and twitched his nose. “My it
sure smells peculiar. What, if I may ask, is in it?”
The fox smiled and picked up a spoon as he pre-
pared to dine. “Nothing special” he replied, “Just a
little cold stew with bruises.”
av Bakar gazed down the slopes toward
S the city of Rosaleta. There, hugging the
rocky shores of Rosal Bay, the ancient city
awaited. Rosaleta’s weathered limestone walls
concealed much of its interior. From Sav’s posi-
tion he could just make out the smoke from the
burning rubbish heaps along the city’s perimeter.
He moaned and sat down on his pack by the
roadside. He hated cities. Cities bred disease,
rats and cutthroats. Sav could scarcely remember
a time when a visit to a large city hadn't causes
him all manner of troubles. This included his
current dilemma. And worse, from the looks of
all the smoke, it was probably a festival day. That
meant crowds, terrible stinking crowds who
blocked your way, lightened you coin purse and
insulted you.
“Damn it!” he said to himself, “The place
looks like a festering wound!”
For six hundred miles and some seventy four
days, he had been on the road. For the last
twelve days he had been on foot. In his haste to
escape one night, he had been forced to leave his
Drhokker mount behind. He had a high price
on his head and fewer friends these days. It
seemed every bounty hunter and imperial officer
45
within the Empire was after him. Spurred on by
the scent of gold and rewards, they were on his
trail like a pack of wild dogs. After narrowly
escaping so many snares and ambushes, Sav had
resorted to traveling at night and alone. He also
had given up the warm beds of the roadside inns
and the comfort of the women who were fre-
quently found in those places.
He had never been to Rosaleta, but it was here
that he had been struggling to arrive for so many
weeks. Here, he was to meet his men. They were
loyal friends, the kind who had proven them-
selves in battle and hard times. At least he hoped
he would find them here. He was already weeks
overdue.
Sav could easily have escaped far to the south
long ago. But it was Rosaleta, deeper within the
Empire’s interior and farther to the north where
he had chosen to regroup. There was urgent
business to take care of.
Grasping for his dagger, he scrambled to his
feet. Someone was coming down the road. He
moved into the tree line and slipped into the
shadows. Lying quietly, he peered from his hid-
ing place toward the road.
Soon, two men walking slowly and talking
softly among themselves, approached heading
down the slopes toward the city.
“...a horrible curse I would say.” he overheard
one mention to the other, “they call it the Shriek,
and it has appeared every year since the Emperor
took the throne. A terrible omen it arrives
around the same time as the silver Fen’doral.”
“Not a bit of truth in it!” snapped the other,
“Shriek? The imperial guard is more likely. They
do the Emperor’s bidding though it’s thought to
be the work of ghosts and demons.”
“Ah’ you’d deny the sun was shining over-
head...” he stopped cold, “Ey! Whut’s this then?”
Sav cursed under his breath. The two men
stopped at his backpack and were examining it.
“Someone’s left it” said one.
“Aye, must’ve fallen off a wagon I suspect.”
One of the men bent down and picked it up.
“Hey now, it’s right heavy too. Someone will be
looking for this.”
“We’d better be gettin’ then. We’ll search it
later.”
One of the men shouldered the pack and they
quickly passed and slipped down the road. He
watched them move down the hill and cursed
them silently. It would be dark in an hour or so.
He would have to enter the city before that. This
far north, the city gates were always closed at
dusk to strangers.
He walked at a slow pace, keeping a good dis-
tance from the two men. “The Shriek?” he
thought to himself. He was familiar with those
stories. How many childhood nights were spent
shuddering at the thought of those tales?
After about twenty minutes he had made the
outskirts of the city. He found himself among a
small cluster of shacks huddled on the outside of
the city wall, skirting the main gate. As he passed
by a street merchant’s stall, several small children
ran out from under a table and began tugging at
his shirt tail.
“Orawan! Orawan!” they cried in unison,
“Guide, guide.” He shrugged away from them
and continued on. After several moments he had
a curious feeling and looked over his shoulder.
Sure enough, one of the small boys was still tag-
ging along holding on to his shirt tail and grin-
ning.
He caught Sav’s glance and shrieked, “Orawan!
I your Orawan! Very Best!”
Sav stopped and turned around. “No Orawan!
No!” he said sternly. The youth’s grin never
wavered. He only stood waiting.
Sav turned and started to continue on, still
feeling the tug of the boy’s weight on his shirt
tail. “Street rat!” he uttered under his breath. He
thought of kicking the wind out of the pest but
decided it best to ignore the lad. Street rats usu-
46
ally had a father close by, and Sav had see what
irate fathers were capable of. He continued on
for the main gate of the city.
Two lazy looking guards with large bellies
stood on either side of the gate. As he passed
between them, trying his best to become invisi-
ble, one of them placed a foot in front of him
causing him to halt.
“Hey you!” he snapped, “What you up to?”
Sav shrugged, “I’m looking for a hot meal and
a bed.”
The guard looked toward his comrade and
grinned, “He’s lookin’ for a whore, that’s whut
he’s lookin’ for!”
The other guard stepped up to him and
sneered, “You know what today is?”
Sav thought on it for a moment and shook his
head, “I’ve been on the road for sometime...”
“Well it’s Rotak’s festival!” the guard barked.
Sav assumed that he was supposed to have
been enlightened, “I’m delighted for the infor-
mation. If you’ll excuse...”
The guard stuck out and upturned palm in a
manner Sav was fully familiar with. “That means
you pay five ronar to enter the city!”
Sav immediately scowled,” five ‘nars!”
The guards nodded in unison. Sav dug into
his pouch and produced the required amount of
coin, he was nearly cleaned out now.
He placed the coins in the palm of the guard
and started to proceed on his way. He was very
alarmed when the guard again blocked his way,
“Just a minute there!”
Sav’s blood was beginning to rise rapidly,
“What is it now?”
“How much you got on you there?” asked the
guard.
Sav gritted his teeth and retrieved his pouch
once more, quickly counting the three remaining
coins. “Three commons! Why?”
The guard turned to his comrade and grinned.
“You hear that? He’s only got three sarats on
em!”
The other guard shook his head in disapproval.
“The Sheriff has given orders ya see. No beggars
are allowed in the city today, on Rotak’s festival!”
 Sav was beginning to shake visibly with anger,
“Beggar! I’m no beggar!”
“Well ya see,” explained the guard with a
smirk, “Least you have five ‘nars in your pouch
there, you’re a beggar. Thut’s tha law!”
“You mean I can’t enter the city?”
“That’s right now move along ya sciver!”
“But you can’t...”
The guard stepped up an placed his face a
hand’s width from Sav’s, “I said move along, or
I’ll bloody that pretty face of yers.”
Sav pictured himself sticking the fat guard in
the belly with his dagger, full to the hilt. Instead,
he spun around and stormed off. He had taken
but a few steps when he stopped cold and spun
around once again. “Hey!” he yelled at the
guards, “What about my five ‘nars for entering
the city? I’ll be wanting that back!”
The guards looked at each other and laughed
“What ronar?”
Sav turned and started to storm away but
tripped and landed full on his face. He was lying
on the boy-pest who had been pulling on his
shirt tail. He sat up and looked at the boy who
was still grinning. Over his shoulder he could
hear the guards having a good laugh.
“Orawan?” asked the youth.
Thoughts of kicking the boy entered his mind
again but than a better idea came to him. “Ok,
Orawan, can you get me into the city,” he point-
ed to the guards who were laughing quite hyster-
ically now, “another way?”
The boy’s face brightened and he leaped to his
feet. “Yes, yes, come!”
The boy scurried off between a merchant’s stall
and the city wall. Sav jumped up and followed
as best he could. They walked about two hun-
dred yards and turned to follow a small brackish
stream away form the wall. Finally they came to
a large stone culvert. The boy stopped and
pointed into it’s yawning mouth. “There, no one
see! Quickly!”
Sav looked at the culvert shaking his head in
disbelief. The smell was gut-wrenching. He
cursed as he watched the boy slip down the bank
of the stream and disappear into the blackness of
47
the tunnel.
As he followed the boy into the sewage he was
reminded why he hated cities.
As he emerged from the storm drain, the real
Rosaleta loomed before him. A wall of buildings
and a swelling crowd stood before him. Narrow
streets seemed to break off in every direction and
the motion of the mob overwhelmed his senses.
Maybe a guide would not be such a bad invest-
ment. He turned to the boy, “Ok, Orawan, you
take me to the Blue Cod?”
The boy’s face brightened, “Oh yes, Blue Cod,
ol’ Scar.”
Sav nodded, “Yes, old Scar’s place. Take me
there!”
The boy moved out through the crowd and
Sav found himself pushing and shoving to keep
him in sight. They moved across a market place
into a narrow alley which wound like a serpent
through the gut of the city’s interior. Finally after
a half hour’s walk they emerged on a waterfront.
Several old, decaying piers stretched out over the
water, the waves slapping at their risers and
against the tide wall. The boy pointed out into
the water where a small graying building stood
perched above the water on crooked stilts, a dark
plume of smoke rising from it’s stack. Beneath it
a huddle of boats a skiffs were tethered to the pil-
ings, where a rickety looking ladder led up to the
tavern.
The only means of access by land was a pre-
carious looking rope bridge stretching from the
city wall to a small walkway on the side of the
tavern.
“Blue Cod!” cried the boy holding out his
hand.
Sav dug into his coin pouch and produced one
of his three remaining coppers and dropped it in
the boy’s palm.
The boy frowned and looked back up, “Two!”
Sav cursed and produced another coin. The
boy grinned, “I wait for you, take you more yes?”
Sav didn’t hear, he was already heading toward
the rope bridge.
The bridge was in bad need of repair. In the
long shadows of early dusk, it was difficult to
avoid the many gaping holes in the rotting
planks. As he maneuvered his way along, he
couldn’t help but think of all the hapless drunks,
coming and going, to and from the remote tav-
ern and taking a bad fall.
Finally he reached the small building, its only
window brightly illuminated from within he
could hear the notes of a flute over the yells and
drunken laughter. As he opened the door he was
greeted with the smell of sweat, stale mead and
stew. About a dozen patrons were scattered
about the tavern, some drinking, others amusing
themselves with a game of dice and bones. He
saw an empty table in the corner and headed for
it. As he seated himself he caught sight of a
paunchy bar maid, making her way toward him.
“Evenin’ sir,” she said through a toothless
smile, “whut will it be ta night?”
“Ale, please and something to eat.”
“Ta eat? We’ve sum feesh stew in the back, if
that suits ya?”
“That’s fine, and could you tell me, is Old Scar
here?”
The toothless smile vanished. “What’s that
sir?”
“I’m looking for Old Scar. I was told he owns
the place.”
“I’ll be gittin your drink sur!” With that she
spun around and headed for the bar. Sav
watched as she moved up to the large barkeep
and whispered excitedly in his ear. The barkeep
gave a long hard stare at Sav and picked up a cud-
gel from the counter and moved toward him.
Sav couldn’t help but notice that the barkeep
was a large man and not a pleasant looking fellow
at all. His left leg was apparently crippled, for
with each step he had to pause and drag his left
foot into position.
The giant walked up and stood in front of Sav,
slapping the cudgel in the palm of this left hand.
“You lookin’ for someone?”
Sav swallowed the lump in his throat and nod-
ded, “Yes, actually I was looking for an old friend
named Old Scar.”
“Old friend?” snapped the barkeep, “Not like-
ly!”
48
Sav was beginning to sweat, “Well not a friend
actually, but I do have business with him.”
“I’m Old Scar! And I don’t recall your face.
Now what would you be wantin’?”
Sav glanced around the bar. Quite a few eyes
were watching the exchange. He looked up at
Scar and whispered, “Ravethope told me I
should come here, said I would be among
friends.”
The barkeep’s face suddenly drew pale. He
looked around the bar nervously and back to Sav.
“Are you mad, mentioning that name here?” He
said in a hushed voice, “You were ‘spected weeks
ago.” Scar leaned in closer, “Took you to be dead
or captured. It’s not safe here.” Then in a loud-
er voice Scar bellowed, “Well if it’s a room yer
wantin, I can oblige ya. Four coppers up front!”
Sav palmed four imaginary coppers and blush-
ing stood to follow him. They moved behind the
bar where a narrow set of wooded steps led
upward. As he was about to climb up, Old Scar
put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, “It’s a
right honor to have you here lad. Get some rest
and I’ll send ya up some stew.”
Sav climbed up the steps and found himself in
an extremely small and cramped room, barely
large enough for the small pallet which lie on the
floor. A small candle flickered from its nook in
the wall.
Stretching out on the pallet he sighed. There
was a noise from below and the large barmaid
emerged, “‘Ere’s your drink and some stew ma
lord.”
He took the tray from her hand and smiled,
“thank you ma’am.”
She smiled, “Scar says to sit fast sir. He’ll be
wit ya soon as he’s able.”
He nodded and began to devour the cold stew.
Sav wasn’t sure how long he had slept, he only
knew it was late into the night when Old Scar
nudged him awake.
“What’s that...Who’s...” he stammered in the
dim light of the candle Scar was holding over
him.
“Easy lad,” Scar answered, “It’s only me.
Everyone’s left for the night, we can talk now.”
Sav sat up on the pallet, striking his head on a
roof beam. “Awwwwhhhh!” he cried, “...Yes...we
have to talk. I need to get with my men. Garit
and the others.”
Scar sat down beside him. “Not so fast lad,
there’s no one here. Garit never arrived! A few
of the others were here for a short time but news
arrived that Ravethope was taken captive and
they fled.”
“Fled?” The fools! Fled to where?”
“To Oloseta I suppose. One of them, name of
Falasan, talked of catching a boat to Balelido.”
“Falasan? The bastard!” cursed Sav, “He’s
ruined everything!”
“He had good reason to make haste.” said Scar
softly. “You were weeks overdue. Everyone is
searching for you. The city guard tore this place
apart twice, and no more than two weeks ago.
It’s no great secret who your friends are. And one
of them has a very loose tongue. The rumors of
your plans to head here were widespread and well
known.
Sav’s jaw dropped in disbelief. He lay back
down on the pallet. “How could they have
known? All of my men are loyal, I’m sure of
that...” He lay silently for several moments and
then added, “How could anyone know of you
plans to meet in Rosaleta?”
He began to sweat, “And Ravethope captured?
That’s not very likely! A wild rumor I’d say.
Now you tell me in all of Rosaleta I have no fol-
lowers?”
Old Scar looked at Sav for a long moment, the
slightest hint of concern in his face. Then final-
ly, “You have me sir! I’m old and lame but I
haven’t forgotten your father. My pledge to him
extends to you. Falasan left a message for me to
give to you. He said that if you ever showed up
alive, to meet them at Taleridu. He said they
would return there eventually. Ever hear of it?”
Sav nodded, “Yes, we used to operate out of
that village. East of here, near the P’Sapas hills.:
Scar frowned, “Is it wise to return there?”
Sav nodded, “It’s nothing but a nearly deserted
mining village, just a few wolf hunters and old
49
men now. No one would think to look for us
there.”
Scar grunted in disapproval, “Oh yes, like they
didn’t think to look for you in Rosaleta is that it?
I’m telling you boy, someone has been doing
some whispering in the Rader Kem’s ear!”
Sav closed his eyes. Things were not going
well. Even now his journey showed no signs of
ending. Sav studied Scar for a moment. “So you
served under my father?”
He shrugged, “Never met the man, but yes I
did serve under him. I was in the Emerald Fleet
for a time and took my oath to him same as the
rest.”
Sav leaned up on one elbow, “Tell me what
you’ve heard of Ravethope’s capture.”
Scar shrugged again, “Rumors mostly. They’ve
been fanning the breeze around here for months
now. It seems he was captured in Salireta,
betrayed by friends. Most certainly he’s been exe-
cuted by now. And whoever betrayed him could
very well have known you were to meet the oth-
ers here.”
“Well, if it’s true...” Sav paused, “...the others
were wise to move on.” He shook his head and
lay back down. “Ravethope was the life’s blood
behind it all.”
He looked to Scar, hesitant to ask, “I don’t
have any money left, but do you think you could
fix me with a horse and some provisions tomor-
row?”
Scar thought n it for a moment and nodded,
“That I can. Of course lad.” He stood and start-
ed down the stairs. As he descended he paused
and turned, “Ravethope was a good friend and
he spoke highly of you lad. “ I’ve never known
him to be wrong or hasty in his judgment. He
must have seen something in you, to cause such
a stir. Well, I’ll be leavin’ you to rest. You’ll need
it. It’d be best for you to get a start before day-
break.”
“Thank you Scar, for everything.”
Scar smiled, “For what? I haven’t done any-
thing yet.”
to be continued...
 b.a. brian
FELTON VAN HOOSE
B.A. is 30 years old Brian is 27 years old and lives
and lives with his par- alone. He manages to make a
ents. When he isn’t modest living operating a
gaming he works part- local ISP and selling painted
time in his dad’s dry miniatures. Brian is typically
cleaning shop. B.A. quiet and utters only three word sentences unless a rule
dropped out of college to follow his dream of being a has been broken or his character has been maligned. Even
game designer. He sunk $6,000 into his first gaming though Brian can’t remember his own phone number, he
can recite entire passages of various rule books from mem-
product, DAWG: the Role-Playing Game™, which
ory. He claims to have a girlfriend but no one has ever
was a bomb. B.A. suffered a nervous breakdown and
seen her.
left gaming for a few years before picking up his dice
bag again. He founded the Knights of the Dinner
Table.

Knights of the Dinner Table ™

bob
HERZOG
Bob is 26 years old and
also lives with his par-
ents. He is currently
unemployed even though
he’s taken over 8 years of
vocational classes at a
local tech college. He has a habit of losing his
job because of his temper and sharp tongue.
Bob was the first dues paying member of the
group. Bob is from the old school of role-play-
ing and believes it’s all about breaking things
and killing people. He made the local papers
once when he got lost in the steam tunnels
under the tech college for seven days.
Dave is 22 years old and attends Ball State University where he is
studying cultural anthropology and dance theory. Dave was
introduced to role-playing by Bob whom he met at a local paint-
ball tournament. Dave is a true blooded hack-n-slasher who
becomes bored easily. He often forgets
to bring his character sheet to the game
and tends to borrow someone else’s dice.
Dave originally joined the group to take
advantage of the free munchies.
dave
BOZWELL

johnny
sara KIZINSKI
FELTON Johnny “Lucky” Kizinski was
one of the original members of
Sara is 25 years old and is the Knights of the Dinner Table
B.A.’s cousin. She recently Gaming Club. He was highly
moved back to Muncie, respected by the other members for his gaming style and dedi-
Indiana from Wisconsin and cation to the game. He is mostly remembered, however, for his
incredible luck with the dice and his uncanny habit of coming
is the newest member of the
up with the right results at the right time. Mention his name
group. Unfortunately, Sara is around any gaming table in Muncie, Indiana and you’re likely to
also the only female in the hear the sad refrain, “the boy could play!” Johnny’s story has an
group and fights a lonely bat- unhappy ending however. One night during a power session of
tle to bring more role-play into the group’s gaming sessions CattlePunk, his luck ran out. He fumbled consectutively FIVE
and less hack-n-slash. Sara has decided it is her sworn oblig- times, failed four saving throws, and missed twelve to-hits over
ation to bring the other members of the group around to her the course of the evening. As a result four high level player char-
style of play. She attempts to do this by example but occa- acters met their demise. Johnny’s unlucky streak haunted him in
sionally has to resort to threats and physical bullying to the weeks that followed and he eventually lost interest in the
game and hung up his dice bag. He moved out of state and now
make her point.
manages a Big Juices in Wisconsin.
 nitro stevil
FURGUESON VAN HOSTLE
Victor Fergueson became Stevil has a day job
known as the Lord of administering customer
Steam when he adapted warranty claims. For
the HackMaster rules to years he satisfied his gam-
live-action play and began ing itch through freelance
taking hand picked work for various gaming
groups of players on late industry publications. However, his divorce a cou-
night forays into the labyrinth of steam tunnels ple of years back freed up time for him to get back
beneath Ball State University. After ‘Fergueson’s Folly’ into real gaming. He met Gordon Sheckberry at
made national headlines (Victor and his group were work [prior to his unfortunate(?) accident] and
lost for 7 days prompting a massive rescue search), the ‘Gordo’ subsequently introduced him to the Black
steam tunnels were secured and dozens of entrances Hands. He now commutes to Muncie every Friday
were sealed with concrete. There are several con- night from his apartment in suburban Indianapolis.
tradicting accounts of what happened weeks later
on the evening of January 5th, 1987 but it
involved a satchel of C-4 high explosive, a miscal- Gordon ‘Gordo’ Sheckberry graduated from Ball State with a
culation of the expected blast radius, and a med- Chemical Engineering degree in his back pocket. (Although
ical evacuation of the Campus Administration never proven, it has long been suspected that he cooked up
Building which collapsed during an attempt to the batch of C-4 Nitro used to level the Administration
breach the steam tunnels. The incident earned Building). Gordo was involved in a bizarre industrial accident
Victor the nickname ‘Nitro’ and 5 years proba- that seriously impaired his vision and resulted in the loss of
tion. Nitro has been president of the Black Hand ALL his body hair. He is famous for his bad toupee and coke
Gaming Society for 8 years, taking over from bottle-lense glasses.
Weird Pete. The accident bestowed Gordo with
the gift of total lifetime disability
allowing him to game almost daily
weird with various groups around Delaware
county. (Thus he is the envy of
PETE gamers everywhere.) Gordo has been
a member of the Black Hands for
“Weird” Pete Ashton is the four years.
sole proprietor of a local gordo
gamestore called the Games SHECKBERRY
Pit. He is proud of the fact
that he was one of the co-
designers of the cult classic
role-playing game, Lynch
Mob™. Pete loves to relate BLACK HAND
the story of how he was
burned by his partners and
lost “millions”. Pete is always available for advice but GAMING SOCIETY
oddly seems to be very bitter about the hobby he loves
so much. He was a major stockholder in Hard 8
Enterprises but sold his shares mere days before newt
HackMaster was released. Pete co-founded the Black
Hand Gaming Society along with Nitro and served as FORAGER
president for the first four years of the club’s existence.
The backroom of Pete’s shop serves as home table for Newt was the only child of a
the Society. career military couple. He spent
his childhood either being
flak jack Jack “Flak Jack” Monty is dragged around the globe or
well known in Muncie, tossed back and forth between
MONTY Indiana as a consequence of various uncles and grandparents. Perhaps that’s why Newt
his highly publicized 1994 has trouble making friends and fitting in.
trial People v. Monty. Jack was convicted of aggravated He wet his feet in gaming by playing every play-by-mail
assault, endangering the public and a half dozen other
charges as a result of his commando-style assault on a city game he could track down and earned a bit of notoriety by
bus armed with water balloons and several auto-fire equipped paintball guns. toppling the five year powergrip of the top player in the
Jack was playing a live-action game of Urban Assassin™ and was attempting to PBM game, Tribes of Angst and essentially shutting down
‘take out’ several players who had sought refuge on a passing bus. the game. Later he was introduced to HackMaster through
The judge was not amused and sentenced Jack to six months confinement. The
sentence was waived, however, on the condition that Jack enlist in the armed a MUDD on the internet and embraced the game. After
forces. Jack joined the Army for a two year hitch. DoD cutbacks allowed him to running through every Solo-Adventure published he set out
end his tour early and return to Muncie to attend BSU on the GI Bill while com- on a quest to find a group to play with.
pleting his military obligation in the Indiana National Guard. He joined the Unfortunately he’s finding it difficult to find a group who
Black Hands soon afterwards and earned a reputation for being a formidable
player. will tolerate his personality quirks.
 gary
JACKSON
Gary Jackson is fondly known as the “Gawdfather
of Gaming” by millions of gaming enthusiasts
around the world. His failing wargame company,
Hard 8 Enterprises, was about to close its doors for
good in 1977 when Gary tossed the dice on a hasti-
ly produced role-playing game, The HackMasters
of EverKnight™. The first print run was quickly
®
snapped off the shelves and soon frantic distributors
were calling Gary’s three man shop with pleas of
“More!” Gary has been riding Hackmaster spin-offs ever since. For those who want to know
what ‘hard eight’ means, it refers to the game of craps where Gary has blown thousands of dol-
lars of company money over the years on his frequent trips to Vegas.

edmund ®
FINLEY
Edmund Finely was
once Gary Jackson’s Hard 8 Enterprises ®
paperboy. One morn-
ing he was coerced into
What do you want to Hack today?™
filling an empty chair
Jo Jo is one of Gary Jackson’s favorite, “yes-men”. When he
during a play-testing session of HackMaster bought out Battle Cry Games in 1984, Jo Jo Zeke came as part
and became ensnared in ‘Gary’s Game’. That of the deal. For years Jo Jo was considered the ‘King of Hex-and-
was twenty years ago and Edmund has been Cardboard-Counter” wargames and has over forty-two titles
on the Hard 8 team ever since (though he’s under his belt. His most famous game design was ‘The Pope’s
only been on the payroll for the past four Panzers’ a ‘what-if ’ wargame simulation that rocked war gaming
circles around the country. The sequel, ‘V-Rockets at the
months). Edmund wears the proud title of Vatican’ earned him his first Gamers’ Choice Award for best
“Director of Research and Development” and game design. Jo Jo is now responsible for writing much of the
recently oversaw the production of his first flavor text for HackMaster adventures
written work, Abe, Babes and (something he has a knack for), and
RollerBlades™, described as a “sexy, zany, crunching rules. It is rumored he lives
in his office at Hard Eight Enterprises.
time-travelling romp through history and
fashion”.
jo jo
ZEKE
the antignano
BROTHERS
Very few people have ever seen the infamous Antignano Brothers. Those who have are usually
reluctant to talk about it. It’s known that Gary Jackson has kept them on the payroll for years. Their checks are usually anno-
tated with the cryptic words, “for various services rendered”. It is said that Vince and Tony Antignano wear grey, pinstripe
suits with twenty-sider cuff links. A few years ago, Nitro Fergueson publicly insulted Gary Jackson at a convention. A few
days later, he fed-exed a letter of apology to Gary. It is rumored the Antignano Brothers paid him a ‘visit’.
 pete
SKIPOWSKI
Pete has been with
Gary Jackson since the
beginning. In fact they
met in college where
they used to play epic
sessions of MERC
ARMOR and BLAZING GUNS. When
Gary started his company, Pete came
onboard as his first full-time game designer
(working for shares in the beginning). In
recent years the friendship has been strained
as Gary’s projects have repeatedly over-shad-
owed Pete’s pet projects. In fact Gary usually
targets Pete for his much publicized verbal
abuse and ego-bruising. Still, Pete is loyal to
Gary and Hard Eight Enterprises and rarely
complains.
Waco Bob is one of the original share holders of Hard 8. He
really doesn’t do much at the company other than agree
with virtually every word that comes out of Gary’s mouth.
Waco has done well, financially, working with Gary and
that seems to be enough to have earned his undying devo-
tion. Waco does sit in on every playtesting session he can.
But since he seems to love every game he plays, regardless
of it’s flaws, his value as a playtester leaves a lot to be
desired. He invariably fills out his
playtester evaluation forms with,
“This game is the next
HackMaster!!”
‘waco’ bob
FORSEY

Tuley isn’t an employee at Hard Eight, nor is
he considered an intern. He originally came to
the company as part of a Summer Playtester
program. He was tricked into running the
company’s customer service department by
being led to believe it was a ‘virtual corpora-
tion computer game’ and that was earning
points based on how well he ‘played’ the game
which involved answering the phone and
working out ‘variable solutions’ to each call.
No one has mentioned
the ‘game’ in quite
some time and Tuley
seems content to live
in his office, order out
for pizza occasionally
and man his station.
norman
BOWSER
Norman Bowzer is a role-player who
made good and realized his dream.
He started out as a freelancer and
began to pump so much HackMaster
material into the Hard 8 offices that
he was eventually asked to come on board. A few years ago he
replaced Earl Slackmozer as the editor of HackJournal maga-
zine and has been doing a bang up job of scratching the ‘hack-
n-slash’ itch for thousands of fans. Gary has become so com-
fortable with Norman’s writing ability that he has sanctioned
all of Norman’s material as ‘official’ Hackmaster material (even
though Gary rarely reads Norman’s work as of late). Norman
has a long standing rivalry with Bitter Stevil. Norman cut
Stevil’s column from HackJournal soon after taking the helm.

tuley
PRISWINKLE
timmy
JACKSON
Eight year old Timmy Jackson is Gary’s youngest son. He is also the newly installed
chief developer for the SpackHack sci-fi roleplaying game. He had been responsible
for development on the superhero frp Heroes and Zeroes, but was reassigned due to a
rash of complaints following the release of H&Z’s Background Tool Chest supple-
ment. Gary, uncharacteristically emotional, fels terrible about this and has promised to make it up to
Timmy by bringing his favorite TV hero, Xena the Warrior Princess, to the next HackCon.
 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE
❑ Lair of the Gazebo: A case of mistaken identity.

BBUNDLE OF TROUBLE: VOLUME ONE

Question of Honor: B.A. accuses Brian of cheating.
By the Book: B.A.’s ‘homebrewed dragon’ causes problems.
KODT Issue #1 Attack of the Rules Lawyer: Brian and B.A. go head-to-head.
“Not Ready for Let the Dice Fall Where They May: onward and downward.’
The Farmer Wars: The Great Radish Wars.
Syndication” The Wonderful GaryCon Adventure: The group heads for GaryCon.
Diminishing Returns: B.A. wheels out the infamous, ‘fireball generator’.

❑ First Impressions: First appearance of Sara.

The Cows of War: Origin of Dave’s Magic Cow
KODT Issue #2 Lords of Darkness: Dave and Bob play, ‘Vampyre.’
“Gluttons for Angel of Mercy: Sara has the ‘healing’ touch.
Spell-Jacked: Card game mania hits the group
Punishment” The Great Revolt: It’s a player-uprising as the group turns on B.A.

❑ Dueling GameMasters: The group plays a game under Nitro.

A Critical Situation: B.A. purchases the ‘Critical Mass Rules’.
KODT Issue #3 Attack of the Snow Beasts: Brian’s invisible character gets the shaft.
The Sticky Notes of War: Sticky Notes make B.A.’s job a living hell.
“License The Samer it Gets: The group trys SpaceHack.
to Loot” The Guest GM: Weird Pete steps in as GM
Tough Noogies: Brian decides his comrades are expendable
Death By Repeitition: Brian and his bag of ‘pebbles’ take on a demon.

❑ The Streets of Muskeegie: The group try a game of CattlePunk.

The Old Guard Strikes Back: Weird Pete returns .
KODT Issue #4 The Gawd Complex: Bob’s character inherits a major relic.
Gary Jackson Files: A look behind the doors at Gary Jackson’s company.
“Have Dice Temptation of the Ring: Bob steals Brian’s ring.
Will Travel” Wh...Where was I?: Everyone is too busy talkin’ to think about gaming.
A Hole Lot of Trouble: The group finds a portable hole.
Detour Down Memory Lane: (The group remember’s their old characters.

❑
Spaced Out: A SpackHack adventure.
KODT Issue #5 Conquer & Deny: The boys spoof Risk.
“Master of Beating the Odds: An outbreak of ‘lucky rolls’ brings accusations.
Can’t Buy Me Luck: Bob suffers an unlucky streak.
the Game” Agent of Evil: The group stumbles upon the legendary, Hand of Vectra!

❑ Luck of the MaCaw: The gang try a game of HackBeard.

Can We Talk?: B.A. attempts to keep the game moving.
KODT Issue #6 Wherever You Go - There You Are: Dave maps.
“Plays Well Silver Things Upon His Chest: Brian introduces gamermedals’.
The Safety Lecture: B.A. urges the gang to be safety conscious.
With Others” The Great Intervention: The group confronts Brian about his ‘girl friend.’
Diminishing Returns: B.A. wheels out the infamous, ‘fireball generator’.

❑ Five Green Towels: Brian is in charge of the ‘treasure list.’

A Call For Heroes: The gang set out to save a village.
KODT Issue #7 The Lord of Steam: Nitro is in the house!!! And he’s sitting in as GM!
“ The Dice The Boy Could Play: The boys remember Johnny Kazinski
Brian’s Challenge: Brian challenges a dragon to a wine-tasting contest.
Man Cometh” Armload of Trouble: Bob and Dave are up to their arm pits in trouble.
Coward of the County: Bob and Lil’ Knobby Foot are feuding.
COMIC BOOK CHECKLIST /INDEX
❑ Orcs at the Gates: B.A. invests in the ‘best adventure ever.’
KODT Issue #8
Game Master For a Day: Dave gets a chance to be GameMaster.
“An Orc Balance of Terror: The gang raises an army of henchmen.
By Any April Fools: Dave’s HackMaster +12 is destroyed! Or is it?
Other Name” An Orc Too Far: Bob and Dave are obsessed with an orc.

❑
KODT Issue #9 Return to Muskeegie: The gang dusts off Cattlepunk .
“Two Dice For The Straight and Narrow: B.A. is tired of the ‘rubber ball syndrome’.
Sister Sara” GameMaster of the Realm: There’s a new kid in town.

❑
KODT Issue #10
Let the GM be a Lady Tonight: Sara finally gets her chance to GM
“Let The Dice
The Spyder Pits of Queen Krawler: Virtual Reality meets Hackmaster!!!
Fall Where
The Temp: The game must go on!! Bob can’t make the game!!
They May”

❑ KODT Issue #11 The Empty Chair: Bob’s Dad makes him stop playing HackMaster.
“When in Let’s Make a Deal: A Magic Dagger causes problems.
Doubt: Hack!!” Blood Bath at the Games Pit:The Boys take on Squirrely the chimp.
The Venus Elixir: Sara drinks a love potion.

❑
KODT Issue #12 An Overbearing Situation: Weird Pete gives B.A. a hot tip.
“The Good, The Just for the Helm of it: A magic helm transforms Gilead.
Bad, and the The Price of Passage: A dragon extorts a toll from the group.
Unlucky!!” The Good, The Bad and the Unlucky: Trouble entering Fangaerie.

❑ A License to Hack: B.A. picks up Hard*’s new conspiracy RPG-HackNoia.

KODT Issue #13 The Shake-Down Mission: The group have a north of the border experience.
“Men That Internally Yours: Internal Affairs investigates the group.
Hack” Prying Eyes: Who was the Narc??

❑
KODT Issue #14 The Barringer Rebellion: The group’s hirelings revolt.
Go Figure!: ...and a miniatures battle erupts.
“Fist Full The Best Little Warhorse: Knuckles obtains a Dwarven Warhorse.
of Dice & Judgement Day: Lord Giliead cuts Knuckles down to size.
a Bad Attitude” GameMaster’s Workshop: (Special 16 page Insert)
 COMIC
COMIC INDEX
INDEX CONT.
CONT.
❑ Supply and Demand: The group petition for a one legged Dwarf figure.
KODT Issue #15 The Trouble with Bob: The Group is concerned about Bob’s morale.
“Mama Told Gary Jackson Files: A Sure Thing: Hard8 creaties the Sturm Pyre miniature.
Me Not The Tangled Web: Bob must create a web of lies so he can keep playing.
to Play” For the Love of Knuckles: Bob gets a new miniature for Knuckles.
Gary Jackson Files: Return to Sender!: Hard8 overproduces a product.

❑ The Whistling Zephyr: B.A. meets Roget.

KODT Issue #16 Where Now Brown Cow?: Trouble for Chelsie the Cow.
“The Dice
Gary Jackson Files: Ship in a Box: The SpaceHack line must be saved.
of Wrath”
Ship of Fools: A “Dungeon in Space” SpaceHack misadventure.

❑
Carry a Big Stick: First look at the Black Hand Gaming Society.
KODT Issue #17 It’s a Long Way Home: Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
“This Sword
Oil and Water: Knuckles goes out with a bang.
for Hire”
Nitro’s Revenge: Nitro settles an old score with Bob.

❑ The After Action Review: The BlackHands get a lesson in Teamwork.

When Peace Comes to Shove: A peace conference with Orcs??
KODT Issue #18 Dewin’ Hard Time: Knuckles, El Ravager and Teflon Billy are incarcerated.
“Against The Day the Magic Died: Magic stops working in B.A.’s campaign.
All Odds” The Turn About: The group try to salvage a ship in SpaceHack.
Special Bonus: A 16 page Monty Python and the Holy Grail insert.

❑ Don’t Go There: The Knights have to find a new place to play HackMaster.
KODT Issue #19 Dances with PitBulls: Man’s best friend isn’t so friendly.
“Heroes Got Yer Number: Bob stumbles upon Gary Jackson’s home phone number.
of the A Time for Heroes: The Knights play Heroes and Zeroes.
HackLeague” The Turn About: The group try to salvage a ship in SpaceHack.
Special Bonus: A 16 page Monty Python and the Holy Grail insert.

❑ A Novel Idea: Sara convinces the group to form a a Book Club.

The Hang Nail Incident: A small town dishonors the group.
KODT Issue #20 Brian’s Eggs: Brian finds some Owl Bear eggs and starts a hacthery.
A Novel Idea: Sara convinces the group to form a a Book Club.
“Hack in Virtual Liabilities: B.A. helps to playtest Brian’s new computer game.
Space” Have a Little Faith: Bob finds the group has no confidence in Knuckles.
Monday Mourning: Sara’s character, “Zayre” bites the dust.
I Write the Songs, I Write the Songs: Newt plays a Bard.

❑
KODT Issue #21 The Evil Among Us: Sara is turned evil by a cursed ring and enjoys the part.
“Home is Out of the Running: B.A and Sara announce tney can’t attend GaryCon!!
Where you The Incentive Program: Nitro introduces a program to encourage Teamwork.
Hang yer
Dicebag” The Pilgrimage to GaryCon: Bob, Dave and Brian go to GaryCon!!
 now that we are monthly, we need your ideas and suggestions for KODT STORies MORE
THAN EVER!! what are you waiting for?? this could be just the thing you’ve been waiting
for - your name in bold letters on cheesy newsprint for all the world to see!!! photo-
copy this page and write your own classic KODT story ideas. Mail your entry* to
KODT: 1003 MONROE PIKE, MARION INDIANA, 46953

KODT IDEA SEARCH

* The Fine Print: All entries become the property of Kenzer and Company. By submitting your story line, you hereby assign
all right title and interest in and to the story to Kenzer and Company. If your idea is used you will receive a free, autographed
copy of the issue in which it appears. By returning this form with your submission, you agree to be bound by these terms.
 News, Rumors and Industry Buzz plucked
FAMOUS LAST WORDS!
"Let me handle this."
HEA RD IT ON THE GAME VINE

“Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"

“What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over
again..."
"Click?? ...This doesn't come with ammo?"
"Why is your torch flame turning blue?"
"Trust me."
“He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"
“Hey, this chest just bit me!"
HEY KIDS!! “Don't worry, he is probably just first level."
Be a KODT “This 250' wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb."
GameVine Cub
“Why is this man speaking in sign language?"
Reporter!!
Send your news items to “I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"
gamevine@aol.com “I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!"
"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare to run."
HE SOLD YOU YOUR "I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."
FIRST GAME!!! “NPC: "Let's drop our weapons and talk." PC : "Okay!"
HE’S THE ONLY “Well ...., I'll touch it again."
GAMESTORE BUDDY “I attempt to disbelieve."
YOU GOT!!
"Oops."
“OK! I moon the Balrog!"
“My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me?? OK, I shoot again!"
“Trap? What trap?"
"Don't worry. I've got a plan."
“They can't see me. I'm invisible!"
“I wonder what's in here?"

SSUPPORT YOUR “He wouldn't try that trick again!"

GAMESHOP “Money!"

A Moment in
Gaming History #84
In 1976, Lars Johansson was an unasuuming architecture stu-
dent at St. Olaf College with a simple dream of someday design-
ing and building his vision – a national chain of budget hotels.
As fate would have it, one night Lars was invited to sit in on a
game of HackMaster being GMed by Jackie Wu. The two became
fast friends and developed the idea of doing a full scale model of
the vast dungeon labrynth from their favorite adventure, module
F5: Tomb of Horrendous Horror.
In 1979 the two friends pooled their money and purchased 400
acres of wooded property in Sioux Narrows, Ontario. 2 million dol-
lars and twelve years later the unfinished ‘dungeon’ was seized by
the Canadian government after it was determined to be a
harzardous waste site. Jackie Wu committed suicide in 1994. Lars
Johansson now lives in College Park, Maryland where he man-
ages a Tastey Freeze and runs a popular HackMaster campaign Lars Johansson and Jackie Wu going
for local students. over the blueprints of their dungeon in 1976.
from the vine for your reading enjoyment
CONVENTION CALENDAR ORIGINS AWARDS
S.T.A.R.S.'98 We were going to press when the Origin Awards
September 2-3 Winners were announced at Origins ‘98 in Columbus,
Atlanta Apparel Mart & Hyatt Regency Atlanta. The Ohio. We didn’t get a full list of winners but here’s a
Southeast Trade & Retailer Symposium. A free two-day partial lising;
workshop for comics, games & science fiction BOOK
RETAILERS, sponsored by Dragon*Con. Best Traditonal Card Game
For info contact: Sherry Henry at (770) 471-5151 or Give Me Da Brain (CheapAss Games)
S.T.A.R.S.'98, P.O. Box 47696, Atlanta, GA 30362-0696
Best Alternative Board Game
DRAGON*CON Kill Doctor Lucky (CheapAss Games)
September 3-6
Atlanta Apparel Mart & Hyatt Regency Atlanta. Over 400 Best Professional Games Magazine
Gaming Events, Guests, Autographs, Costume Contest, Knights of the Dinner Table (ahem)
24-hr. Video Rooms, Japanese Animation Rooms, Demos,
Workshops, Art Show & much more.
Dragon*Con '98, P.O. Box 47696, Atlanta, GA 30362-0696
(770) 623-6321

ARCHON 22
October 2-4
Gateway/Holiday Inn Convention Center. Watch for more
details as they become available. Contact: (618) 346-2681
www.stif.org/archon/22/index.html

MIDWEST MAGIC
June 7, July 5
Fatima K of C, 5830 W. 95th St. Comics, toys, non-
sports/sports cards, action figures, hot wheels, beanie
babies, die-cast, collectibles/games stuff. Entry $1.
9am/3pm. Parking/Free. John Leary (708) 423-1758

METAIRIE COMIC CON

November 14
Holiday Inn, 3400 1-10 Service Rd/Exit 228 Causeway S.
Comics, Toys, Non-sports cards, dealers & collectibles.
Admission $2. Contact: K. Frazier, (601) 825-1699
kevfi@juno.com

CASTLECON II
July 27-19
Holiday Inn Holidome & Conference Center. Science
Fiction, Fantasty, Games, Lights, Music, Dancing,
Costumes, M:TG DC Type II & Tempest Sealed Deck
Tournaments, Star Wars DS Tournament, 24-hr. tabletop
gaming, RPG Living City, Warhammer & 40K, Video
Room, Computer Room. Pre-reg to July 1 $25. For info:
FanTek, 1607 Thomas Rd., Friendly, MD 20744

CAPITAL CITY CON

July 19 & November 15
Ramada Inn, 400 Greymont Ave. I-55/High St. Exit.
Admission $2. 10-5pm. Comics, Toys, Non-Sports Cards,
Dealers, Collectibles. K. Frazier (601) 825-1699

BATTLE CON
August 8
Holiday Inn SW, 2649 Hwy. 80W. M:TG & L5R
Tournaments, Lords of the Sword Competition, AD&D. For
tourn. info see Scrye's Tourn. calendar.
Contact: D. Bridges, Battle Con, P.O. Box 822, Starkville,
MS 39759 (601) 324-9683

TRADEWINDS VI
August 28-30
Warrensburg Community Bldg., 510 E. North St. L5R,
M:TG, Middle-earth, Mythos, Star Trek, Star Wars (all
tournaments sanctioned). Miniature games demo, Ral
Partha miniature painting contest. Other events include
Illuminati, Sim City and Wyvern. Contact: P. Thompson,
507 N. Main Stt., Warrensbug, MO 64093
 FIELD REPORT: MANAFEST ‘98
KODT: ON THE ROAD
By Brian “the Sixth Knight” Jelke

T
his small con in South San Francisco was one of the best
“Bring back Chelsie, ran cons we’ve been at in quite awhile. The convention
YOU BASTARDS!!” staff were friendly and those attending came to do some
serious gaming and have a great time.
ANGRY PROTESTERS There was no shortage of events or tournaments to sign up for.
We signed copies of the KODT comic book at the booth, ran
CONFRONT KENZERCO demos of Monty Python and the Holy Grail Collectible Game
AT MANAFEST ‘98 as well as a MPHGCC Tournament Two players, Ben Hsu and
Andrew Hart, walked away from the tournaments with an armful
of KenzerCo product for their efforts. Another highlight of the
show were several FREE contests sponsored by the ManaFest
producers. One was a ‘Design your own Collectible Card” (One
entry was a HackMaster +12 card). Another constest was to see
who could best color the program book cover (which just hap-
pened to be a line art version of one our KODT covers by George
Vrbanic).
Although ManaFest has earned a good reputation for being a
‘hardcore card convention’ we were surprised to find there were
plenty of roleplaying events as well as wargaming and board
games. A big HOODY HOO to the ManaFest staff for putting on
a good show. We’ll see you there next year!!

Upon arriving at the South San Francisco

Conference Center to attent ManaFest,
the KenzerCo staff were confronted by
an angry mob. The protest was organized
by the B.B.C. Society (Bring Back
Chelsie) whose members are upset at the
resent demise of Dave’s ‘magic cow’ in
the KODT strip. KenzerCo staff met pri-
vately with B.B.C. representatives.
There is no news as of presstime on the Ben Hsu receives a ‘two coconut salute’ as he is Andrew Hart displays the infamous
outcome of that meeting. awarded his prize of a box of MPHGCCG cards. Official KenzerCo ichthyoid mascot.

LIVE ACTION KODT??

A
t Manafest ‘98, KenzerCo finally did something we’ve been
wanting to do for quite sometime - schedule a Live KODT
Reading! This first ‘dry run’ went so well we have decided to
run the event at ALL our convention appearances. During the event,
audience members are invited to come up on stage and take on the roles
of their favorite KODT characters in one of the strips which have
appeared in the monthly comic or various magazines. Afterwards,
prizes were awarded to the Best person portraying each character.
Both the particpants and the audience seemed to have had a great A live-action reading of the strip, “Spaced Out” from
time – so much in fact, that they requested an encore presentation. Be KODT#5 . Brian Jelke (the Sixth Knight) is sitting in as ‘Dave’
sure to look for the Live KODT Reading a GenCon and DragonCon! and Peter Adkison (President of WoTC) is sitting in as ‘Sara’.

The “Encore Reading” of strips from KODT#1. KODT

Development Team Members, Brian Jelke, Jolly Blackburn
A live-action reading of the strip, of “Conquer and Deny” from KODT and Dave Kenzer sit in as “B.A.”, “Bob”, and “Dave”,
#5. Japji Singh Khalsa (Producer of Manafest) is sitting in as “Bob”. respectfully. Peter Adkison of WoTC sits in as Brian.
T
his month’s review just had to be about Jim Carrey’s
latest movie, The Truman Show, not just because I am
actively trying to sell him my screenplay and want to
suck up a lot, but because the movie has such an obvious
gaming angle. You see, Jim Carrey’s character, Truman
Burbank, is unknowingly the star of a 24 hour a day TV show
broadcast from a huge soundstage/set known as Sea Haven
and everyone else in Sea Haven is an actor or actress playing
a role as part of Truman’s life. Think of the whole thing as
something like the Gaming Dome in Larry Niven’s and
Steven Barnes Dream Park books, with everyone but Truman
portraying an NPC (non-player character for those of you
insufficiently geeky to know all the gaming acronyms) in the
continuing adventure of Truman’s life. The entire affair is
orchestrated (now for thirty years and running) by a director
known as Christof-the ultimate GM (okay, if you don’t know
what GM means, ask one of your geeky gaming friends, and
‘Get a Game!’). Truman begins to suspect that the world
really does revolve around him (wow, he must be a Paragon
Gamer!) and that everything he has ever been told is a lie, so
he goes searching for the Truth. The result is sometimes
laugh-out-loud funny, despite the fact that the movie is not
really a comedy.
Altogether, the movie itself is fine, even excellent,
although I wished that there had been a little more (okay, any)
of Truman’s life/show before he begins to suspect that some-
thing is amiss, so we had a better feel as to what would make
this TV show so popular (since the life Truman leads is not
exactly spectacular or non-repetitive) and how Christof and
his minions have managed to fool Truman for thirty years. I
also wished that the clues Truman stumbles upon had not
been so many or so obvious (the rain scene, in particular,
could have been handled much more subtly). On the other
hand, I thought the faux product placements that bring in the
Truman Show’s revenues were cute and I really enjoyed the
GM aspects of the film: How do NPCs react to unexpected
situations and questions? What can the director hurriedly
patch together when Truman goes somewhere he was not
expected to go? How is Truman persuaded to avoid doing
things (like leaving Sea Haven) that would thwart not only
the story-line, but the entire Truman Show campaign setting?
I was particularly amused by the travel agency and power
plant scenes, as well as by hearing the radio disc jockey
quickly explain why a stage light fell out of the sky onto the
street in front of Truman’s house. You can’t as a gamer help
but wonder how you would keep the game going and, even
more importantly, how you would keep the game interest-
ingónay, rivetingófor thirty years of 24/7 action. This is made
even more compelling by the fact that in the back of your
mind you always know that Christof is not doing things to a
character, but to a real person. Thus, when that person
(Truman) is put at risk or hurt or frightened, you realize that
there are many things your character might do in a game that
you could simply not do in real life.
Although most of the press on the movie bills it as a social
commentary on the lack of privacy in modern society and the
pervasive influence on television and it certainly has that
aspect (Many viewers leave it on all night for comfort.), I
found it to be more of a commentary on raising children (and
running campaign characters) and letting go of them.
Christof spends his entire life creating a world for Truman to
live in and interesting things for him to do while learning the
important, hope-inspiring, lessons of life, only to have
The Truman Show
A GAMER’S VIEW OF THE MOVIES
by Donald J. Bingle ©1998
Truman attempt to leave Sea Haven for the real world.
Chrisof is the Creator, the ultimate GM, and he desperately
wants to continue to control Truman’s life and keep him in
Sea Haven; telling him in a closing scene of the movie that all
of the lies and deceit (and role-playing) of Sea Haven exist in
the real world, it’s just that in Christof’s world, he can protect
Truman from harm. While that is a sad and poignant moment
in the movie (I found the movie kind of depressingóeven
more depressing is that Truman’s dream girl is named Lauren
Garland and Jim Carrey was, in real life, being divorced by
Lauren Holly as the movie was being made), it is also a com-
ment that is very telling from a gamer’s point of view. While
an intelligent, psychologically stable person can readily dif-
ferentiate reality from fiction, we know from the impact of
dreams, stories, and film that a person’s memory of fictionóof
make-believe, if you willóis stored in the same manner and is
as accessible and important to a person’s personality and psy-
che as reality in many ways. The adventures that you and
your friends access by playing characters in role-playing
games give you joy and frustration and excitement and con-
cern that is meaningful to you as a complete person, even
though you clearly know what is reality and what is just a
game.
One of the reasons I prefer tournament gaming with pre-
generated characters to campaigning is to embrace the vari-
ety of experiences and lessons that different classes, races,
genders, personalities, and backgrounds gives me as a player
and a person. Though many aspects of my life may be rou-
tine, I have memories of great adventures, heroic deeds,
clever solutions, dangerous moments, and proud accomplish-
ments that I through my characters have experienced with my
friends and fellow gamers through their myriad characters.
And I know that the lies, and deceit, and role-playing of the
real world exist, but in the gaming world these things cannot
really harm me. I am protected, even though my character
may not be. Gaming teaches the lesson enunciated so well in
The Princess Bride. Life is not fair. It is up to you to make
it the best that it can be with the skills and opportunities you
have been given.
Finally, the movie can be seen as an allegory for the story
of expulsion from The Garden of Eden - once Truman has
tasted the forbidden fruit of Lauren, he is compelled by his
knowledge that both good and evil exist to leave Paradise
(which Sea Haven is repeatedly called) to go into the real
world. The Truman Show also suggests that without anyone
watching, the show would endówhich is about as religious a
comment as you will see in modern film. Go see The Truman
Show. It is both entertaining and intellectually compelling on
a variety of levels. ❑
 Life’s a MAUL OF AMERICA
BRIAN’S SMALL PRESS PICKS
Game!! Jolly Roger Games
PLAY!! 4402 Country Lane Dr., Charleston, IL 61920
Price: $35.00
If you love good old fashioned hack-n-slash you owe it to yourself to check out this
one out. This is Jolly Roger Games’ first product out the gate and has all the mak-
ings of a good beer-and-pretzel game.
MOA is set in a very dark (and disturb-
ing) near future. Zombies are swarming
over the land (ala Night of the Living
Dead). Players must search a vast shop-
ping mall for weapons, first aid items,
ammo and other supplies so they have a
fighting chance of survival in the outside
world. The problem is there are swarms of
Zombies (controlled by another player(s))
who very much want to eat you for lunch.
The result is about the best Hack-N-
Slash game we’ve seen in a long time. No
need to apologize either - this game is
about killing zombies and doing damage!!
Be forewarned - it’s very addicting!!
Brian’s Rating: It Rocks!!

CASTLE WAITING
OLIO Press
P.O. Box 1012
Petaluma, CA 94953
Price: $2.95 (32 pages)
Castle Waiting is a fantasy-based story about the adven-
tures of Lady Jain and her quest for the mythical castle. The
art and story are quite funny and upbeat. The story features
talking bears, hobbits, magic and the three little pigs.
Typically not my cup of tea (I like gritty realism), I felt myself
wanting to pick up the next comic.
Brian’s Rating: Excellent Read!!

FIEF: A Look at Medieval Society from its Lower Rungs

White Rose
By Lisa J. Steele
P.O. Box 933, Amherst, MA 01004-0933
Price: $21.95 (94 pages)

Fief is a handbook with a twist. It’s serves as a reference book

for history buffs, gamers, reenactors, etc. It’s also different
because of it’s approach to Medieval Society. Most books on the
subject deal with Kings, knights and royal courts.
Fief, as the title suggests talks about the typical features of a
small northern European knight’s lands as viewed from the ordi-
nary citizen. The book is packed with information on farms, peas-
ant levies, household knights, parishoioners, clothing, diet, tourna-
ments, etc.
Gamemasters will appreciate the addition of tables on such
things as building costs, servant wagews, fair fees, fines, tourna-
ment expenses, etc.
There’s also a great section on the military and how armies were
raised. This book is definitely going in my reference library. I cer-
tainly hope Ms. Steele plans on doing more books along this line.

Brian’s Rating: Worth the price of admission.

 ATTENTION GPA MEMBERS!!! Place an ad in WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD. It’s an inexpensive way to reach your target audience.
YOU’RE READIN’ THIS AIN’T YA??? (contact Mr. Ashton at weirdpete@aol.com for an ad rate sheet)

KODT FANS DEMANDED IT... GHMI,

Lake of the Mammoth, those who know, come and play,
those who don’t, watch and wonder. See back issues.
$19.95 RMS

WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD

+ $3 s/h

your con? Can you cover travel & lodging? If so,
KODT T-Shirts are now available!! Classic black with the above
strip in white. Size XL only. Available exclusively from Kenzer and
Company. Our mail order address is listed below. KEWL!!
CONVENTION ORGANIZERS!!
Are you interested in having a special KODT
VIP [Jolly Blackburn or one of his elves] at
contact Brian Jelke at restin@aol.com
or (650) 233-8270 with convention dates, location
and projected attendance.
Just a reminder, KODT #4 [Have Dice Will Travel] is still available for only $5.95!

WEIRD PETE”S BULLETIN BOARD

is a meeting place where readers may pass
along information, barter, trade and gossip.
Readers are invited to place classified ads,
announce group meetings, seek out other
players, etc. Subscribers of KODT may place
classified ads free of charge with a limit of one
ad per issue and a maximum of twenty-five
words. Non-Subscribers may place ads at the
rate of 50¢ per word with a limit of 25 words.
Companies may place ads at the following
rates: [5.5” x 2” - $50], [2.75” x 2” - $25], [1.5” x
1” - $10]. Non-profit organizations (serving the
gaming community) and Conventions or
Seminars may place ads for free. All ads are
placed on a first-come first-serve basis with
subscribers having priority.

WANTED
dig up yer KODT story
ideas!!
got a funny story you think would
make a great KODT strip??
e-mail kenzerco@aol.com
for submission guidelines.

Joining this exclusive members-only organization entitles you to special deals on Kenzer and
Company’s entire line of quality gaming products.
KODT Buyers Guild
• Kingdoms of Kalamar products 30% off. That’s
right, you can get the deluxe boxed campaign
setting for only $20.97* and Tragedy in the House
of Brodeln or Secret Temple of Adajy for only $6.97†.
• Free shipping on back issues of Knights of the
Dinner Table.
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail CCG booster
packs only $2.49‡.
To purchase any of these items, send a check or money
order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to:
Membership is $10/year or FREE for sub- ______________________
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ration date to us at (650) 233-8270. Please mention “KBG-8”.
 Recently one of my friends, a
computer wizard, paid me a
visit. As we were talking I
mentioned that I had recently
installed Windows 98 on my
PC. I told him how happy I
c:\>PARTING SHOTS.exe

was with this operating system

and showed him the Windows
98 CD. Too my surprise he
threw it into my microwave
oven and turned on the oven.
Instantly I got very upset,
because the CD had become
precious to me, but he said,
“Do not worry, it is
unharmed.” After a few min-
utes he took the CD out, gave
it to me and said, “Take a
close look at it.” To my sur-
prise the CD was quite cold to
hold and it seemed to be
heavier than before. At first I
could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw a
inscription, an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The
inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth.

12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE8209450920F923A40EE10E5
10CC98D444AA08E1324

“I cannot understand the fiery letters,” I said. “No but I can,” he replied.
“The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft,
which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says,”

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,

One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie
Collectible Card Game

Available in 60
card starter
decks and 15
card booster
packs.

at last, an opponent worthy

of my HACKMASTER +12

Monty Python and the Holy Grail CCG is produced by Kenzer and Company, the exclusive holder
of the worldwide card game license from Python (Monty) pictures, Ltd. Card content and Design
© Copyright 1998 Kenzer and Company. All rights reserved. Movie stills © NFTC Ltd.