The Unwritten (Now Written) Golden Rules of
Friendship
They’re always there for support
They point out your mistakes truthfully.
They care about you but don’t smother you.
They don’t try to escape when things get hard, instead
they become your pillar and help you find a way through
the mess.
They can’t bear to see you cry and they know your
quick fixes.
They help you stare down that creepy person at the bar.
They listen to you repeat the same story over and
overand still have the patience to advise you.
They’ve seen you at your worst and your best and yet
they love you unconditionally.
They aren’t afraid of your crazy moods and ideas. (Or
lack thereof!)
They know all your cues so you don’t have to bother
explaining it to them yet again.
They don’t shy away from tough love.
They are brutally honest yet heart-wrenchingly warm.
They tell you when you’re being unreasonable and yet
stand with you even if they don’t agree with you.
They are your partners in crime and behind-the-
screen directors to your crazies.
They help you succeed and celebrate your successes
and/or the lessons you learn from your failures.
They know how to make you smile and don’t mind
being judged while doing so.
They notice every change about you—the haircut, the
new color, the goatee—and report it to you with a
prompt, sassy response.
They are your go-to guy when nothing is right and
your first call when everything is right.
They make you laugh hysterically especially at all the
wrong moments.
They know all your evil plans and are often your right-
hand guys.
They are always there to give you advice, ice cream or
a beer.
They are your biggest advocates and loudest fans.
They are your travel buddies and even your yoga
buddies.
They are your personal movie critics and can often tell
whether or not you’ll like the movie.
They never try to change you, even early in the
morning when you look or behave like The Hulk on a
diet.
They encourage all your dreams and aspirations and
fend off those who don’t.
They are always a phone call away no matter how far
apart you are in person.
They laugh with you and at you, but glare at anyone
else who does.
They help you pick out hideous Halloween costumes
just so they can laugh at you.
They can tell your mood just by the way you text.
They accept your differences graciously but only after
laughing at them first.
They are invariably a part of at least 75% of the selfies
you take.
They are your personal photographers armed with
iPhones and maybe even a DSLR.
They are ever-ready for an adventure with you, no
matter how crazy or scary or boring. (But can adventures
ever be boring with your friends?)
They are your excuse when you get busted.
They listen to you—truly, deeply and fully.
They can talk to you about anything, and can often
recite how many time you did that thing you regretted
the minute after you did it.
They are fiercely loyal.
Silences aren’t awkward with them, most
conversations, by conventional standards, are.
They become your chosen family, and more
importantly, they do so willingly.
The Rules of Friendship That Make You Best Friends
Forever
You don’t have to get glued with your friend, but in
time of need get their back:
A friend in need is a friend indeed and this isn’t just a
saying. You should be a friend that others can rely on.
Meeting each other every day or getting glued to each
other isn’t what you should seek,
Betraying your friend is a bog no, learn how to keep
secrets:
Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship and
the rule implies on friendship too. For a friendship to
flourish, you must have 100% trust on each other. One
should be sure that anything shared out of confidence
will never find any other ear ever.
Confessions make your bond healthier:
There are a lot of things that we keep to ourselves. But
at times, finding someone to share your feelings and
unloading the load on the chest becomes important.
This is where friends play a crucial role. You must be that
one point for your friend where he can come and vent
out everything he/she has to say.
Give & take: maintaining the balance
For a healthy friendship, you should take as much you
give and vice versa. Of there will be only one sole
provider for every friendship asset (care, help, advice,
support and at times money),
Don’t be a poky friend:
While it is important to stand by the side of your friend,
you should interfere in all the matters. Learn how to
judge the situation and decide your role accordingly.
There will be times when your friend will need to fight
their own battle to learn as well as maintain their self-
respect.
Motivate and encourage your friend:
There is no better motivator than a true friend. You
must become a pillar for your friend that provide them
with strength and motivation to fight any battle.
Encourage them to overcome their fears and achieve
what is the best for them.
Be honest:
Honesty is a vital element of true friendship. You need to
be loyal and honest with your friend, keeping no secrets
that you shouldn’t.
Make them happy:
Last but not the least, making your friend happy is a
responsibility that you take when you sign in for a
friendship. Send birthday wishes for friends, present
them gifts, plan trips to their favorite place and do other
things that your friend would like and expect you to do.
10 rules to live by
1. Make friends consciously.
Don’t passively drift into a group whose values you’re
not sure about.
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2. Recognize that conflict is part of friendship.
Don’t let resentments build up — bring them up gently
to avoid blowouts down the line.
3. Don’t treat her as you’d like to be treated. Treat her
as SHE would like to be treated.
We don’t all feel comforted or appreciated by the same
behaviors.
4. Give little (encouraging text messages) and give big (a
surprise party).
5. Be supportive 90 percent of the time, but don’t shy
away from telling your friend a difficult truth once in a
while.
6. Listen to the difficult truths about yourself when a
friend points them out.
Don’t get defensive — this is your chance to really learn
about yourself.
7. Accept that you will sometimes envy your friends, be
annoyed by them, be bored by them.
What a small price to pay for all their benefits.
8. Improve yourself, and you will be improving your
friends, too.
Friends are a big influence on your health, habits and
aspirations — and vice-versa.
9. Social media should only enhance your connections.
It shouldn’t cut into time with close friends.
10. Celebrate your Friendiversary.
Been friends for five, ten, 15 years or more? Raise your
glasses to long-term friendship!
Imp-
1. Support, trust, and honesty are givens.
Everyone needs a support network — and friendships
are the bedrock of our social support systems. When you
consider yourself the friend of another, you’re implicitly
offering to be a part of her support network. If you’re a
no-show too often when you’re needed, your value in
the network declines at a rate in direct proportion to
how great her need might be. If you fail to show up for
her, you shouldn’t be surprised if she fails to show up for
you. Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity —
be there for her, so that she will be there for you.
If you don’t trust her, she’s not your friend. If she cannot
trust you, you’re not her friend. If you share untruths or
spread lies, you’re not her friend. It’s just that simple.
Without trust, there is no authenticity to the friendship.
If you can’t be straight with her or feel the need to hide
your actions or tell untruths, the relationship is being
built on shifting sand and won’t be able to withstand any
real challenges.
2. Listen to your friends.
Too often, we only “half hear” what others are telling us
— our own lives are so complicated that we have
difficulty making space for caring about another’s
experiences some days. However, friendships require
attention and tending — if we don’t truly know what a
friend needs, and if we don’t clearly state what we’re
feeling or needing ourselves, friendships just won’t
survive.
3. Ditch the judgment.
Good friends are able to acknowledge that everyone is
human, and that true friends don’t judge each other’s
choices. If you can’t handle friends who make decisions
or choose lives that differ from what you feel is “best,”
then you need to exit the relationship. Friends don’t
have to necessarily “like” or “approve” of their friends’
choices, but good friends will accept their friends’
choices no matter what. And if you can’t handle the path
your friend is traveling, it’s better to let the relationship
go than to stand on the sidelines heckling your friend or
shaming her for her decisions.
Another important and related request is that you
assume the best and give your friend the benefit of the
doubt. If you’re quick to assume the worst and ready to
lay down blame, you’re not going to be the kind of
friend that anyone wants for the long haul. We have to
prove ourselves often enough on the job and in other
situations; don’t make friendship a proving ground, as
well.
4. Don’t talk behind a friend’s back.
There’s no rule that says you have to love what your
friend is wearing, who your friend is dating, how your
friend is raising her kids, or any other choices your friend
is making. However, there is an unspoken rule that you
don’t bash your friend’s choices to others behind her
back. Gossip is a dangerous tool that women use to
cement their own standing in a social setting. Gossip
began as a tool that was used to protect people from
making mistakes that others had made before them —
Kind of like warning a friend, “Tammy cheated on her
exam, and she ended up having to totally retake
Algebra,” or “Matta ate the berries from the plant with
the scratchy leaves and almost died.” Gossip was borne
out of the desire to protect others, not harm the subject
of the gossip. Unfortunately, gossip today is designed to
damage the reputation of another, which is a 180-
degree turnaround from its original purpose.
5. Respect your friends — and their boundaries.
Respect your friends’ boundaries as well as their stories.
Some friends may have a difficult time letting people get
close to them for fear of being hurt. Don’t crowd your
friends — give them the space they need to feel
comfortable, and let the relationship deepen over time.
The beautiful thing about strong friendships is that they
provide the freedom to communicate openly and
honestly. However, being too quick to jump in and say
exactly what you think — without taking time to reflect
on whether or not you’re about to show judgment or
efforts at controlling a friend’s responses — can do long-
term damage to the relationship. While honestly is
essential, tact and diplomacy are also important
elements of upfront conversations.
6. Forgive where you can — and seek forgiveness when
you screw up.
When you expect more from others than you expect
from yourself, your relationships are not going to be
nearly as enduring as you might hope. No one promises
to bring perfection to a relationship, so being willing to
accept and forgive the shortcomings of others makes it
much more likely that you’ll build the kind of friendships
that will last. It’s also important that we are able to
acknowledge when we make mistakes, as well. If you’re
able to admit when you’ve failed to hold up your end of
the relationship, it’s a lot more likely that a friend will be
able to forgive and move forward.
From book of provrb
Rule #1: Don’t get mad over nothing.
Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has
done you no harm (Prov. 3:30).
Rule #2: Don’t try to change a friend who is unwise.
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a
wise man, and he will love you (Prov. 9:8).
Rule #3: Hatred leads to more fighting. Choose love.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses (Prov.
10:12).
Rule #4: Don’t be two-faced.
The one who conceals hatred has lying lips (Prov. 10:18).
Rule #5: Don’t talk trash.
Whoever utters slander is a fool (Prov. 10:18).
Rule #6: Pick humble friends.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the
humble is wisdom (Prov. 11:2).
Rule #7: Keep criticism to yourself.
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of
understanding remains silent (Prov. 11:12).
Rule #8: Keep secrets.
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he
who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered (Prov.
11:13).
Rule #9: Don’t be a mean girl.
A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man
hurts himself (Prov. 11:17).
Rule #10: Be an encourager.
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good
word makes him glad (Prov. 12:25).
Rule #11: Just because you think it doesn’t mean you
have to say it.
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who
opens wide his lips comes to ruin (Prov. 13:3).
Rule #12: Choose wise friends.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the
companion of fools will suffer harm (Prov. 13:20).
Rule #13: Don’t get mad easily.
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but
he who has a hasty temper exalts folly (Prov. 14:29).
Rule #14: Don’t be jealous.
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes
the bones rot (Prov. 14:30).
Rule #15: Don’t be cranky.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs
up anger (Prov. 15:1).
Rule #16: Stay away from that girl with the temper.
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow
to anger quiets contention (Prov. 15:18).
Rule #17: Get advice from wise friends.
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they
succeed (Prov. 15:22).
Rule #18: Speak sweetly.  Do not allow your friends to persuade you to
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the violate your morals and principles.
soul and health to the body (Prov. 16:24).  Do not try to change your friends. Accept them
Rule #19: Don’t talk behind your friends’ backs. as they are.
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer  Do not criticize, critique, or condemn your
separates close friends (Prov. 16:28). friends.
Rule #20: Don’t get mad easily.  Graciously, but firmly, teach your friends how
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and to treat you.
he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Prov.  Maintain your friendships with periodic quality
16:32). communication by email, phone, and in-person.
Rule #21: Don’t jump ship.  Strengthen your friendships by sharing fun,
A friend loves at all times (Prov. 17:17). challenging, and intellectual experiences.
Rule #22: Pick a few close friends over lots of  Let them know how much you value their
acquaintances. friendship.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there  If you love a friend, have the courage to tell
is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24). them. This applies to both women and men.
Rule #23: Don’t be easily offended.
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory
to overlook an offense (Prov. 19:11).
Rule #24: Avoid the drama.
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but
every fool will be quarreling (Prov. 20:3).
Rule #25: Don’t celebrate when your frenemy has
trouble.
Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your
heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the LORD see it and
be displeased, and turn away his anger from him (Prov.
24:17–18).
Rules of Friendship
 Remain equally loyal in good & bad times.
 Respect the person, not the position, title, or
assets.
 Always do what you say you will do.
 Never talk bad about a friend to others.
 Keep their secrets a secret. No exceptions! Rules of Love
 Always be an optimist, never a naysayer.
 Always be honest, but never critical. 1. Never invalidate or erase the personal reality of
 Always value and appreciate your friends. someone you love.
 Always be grateful for your friends. Never take
them for granted. Every one of us counts on our partner supporting and
 Always focus on what you appreciate about validating the way we see the world, even if he or she
them, not on what you dislike. doesn’t see it the same way. Though we are hopefully
 Consider their point-of-view before trying to open to expanding or transforming our views by
get them to see yours. comparing them with our partner’s, our emotional
 Never expect anything. Give what you want to sanity depends on trusting the world as we see it. If our
receive first. partner tries to undo that reality, we feel unseen and
 Help without expecting a return favor, but do erased.
not do it unconsciously.
 Take a stand in your friendships. Be who you All of us have been on the other end of statements like,
are. “You’re crazy to think that way,” “That’s bull,” or “You
 Do not allow your friends to persuade you to do don’t know what you’re talking about.” They are
things that you know are not in your best interest.
examples of what one partner may say to invalidate the
world view of the other.
2. True compromise can only happen when each
partner begins an interaction by first supporting the
other’s point of view.
When intimate partners have conflicting opinions, they
too often flare into justification and defense. Very soon,
instead of talking to each other, they rapidly begin
talking at each other. From those disparate vantage
points, there is no possibility of achieving a resolution
that can cradle both of their views. The barrier to that
kind of regeneration lies in each partner’s fear that if he
or she temporarily gives up that personal view, it will be
impossible to get it back. If that ensues, one partner may
win the battle, but both will lose the war.
3. Quality relationships are made up of two partners
who treasure and uphold a set of mutual beliefs and
ethics.
I cannot underscore enough how important it is for
intimate partners to be authentic and open about what
they hold sacred, as well as what they expect of each
other, when they begin a relationship. Thoughts,
feelings, and attitudes can and do change over time, but
partners in successful relationships are always up-to-
date in revising and recommitting to the beliefs they
share. Trust can only hold when each partner willingly
supports those agreements, whether they are in each
other’s presence or not.
4. Bids for connection are always honored.
When either partner needs the attention or support of
the other, that request must be responded to in some
way. That doesn’t mean that what is being asked for can
always be granted, but the interest and support is there.
Sometimes bids for connection can be presented in a
demanding or self-serving manner, or at an inopportune
time. But intimate partners who love each other are
highly tuned to the other’s moods, needs, reflections,
hopes, dreams, worries, hungers, frustrations,
and sorrows. They are joined in their hearts, and one
cannot feel okay staying separate if the other needs to
connect.
5. There is an underlying and absolute assumption that
each partner believes the other to be basically valuable
and well-intentioned toward the other.
No matter what the downsides in a given relationship,
no matter what unsolvable conflicts a couple may face,
no matter what needs may go unmet, if two people
continue to choose one another as their significant
partner, they must believe that they see inherent value
and quality in the other. Whatever negatives exist, as
they must in any relationship, partners who love each
other truly believe in the unchallenged quality of their
partner’s core selves, and are secure in the knowledge
that they both have the other’s best interests at heart.
6. The partners in a great relationship are a team.
Whether they play together, dream together, trust each
other’s counsel, know how to resolve conflict, share
responsibilities and resources, or are there to nurture
distress, partners in successful relationships make more
than the sum of their parts. They watch for when either
need shoring up or authentic challenge. They also revisit
their game plans on a regular basis, continuously looking
for ways to play better. There is no need to have power
struggles because they strive to agree on who flies left
seat and when each has the best chance to lead the
team better.
7. People who love each other want to be the best they
can be for the other.
When people are dating, they know that they need to
put their best foot forward. They get in shape physically,
know who they are and what they want, keep up on
what is going on in the world, take care of their health,
and try to stay away from thoughts and actions that
make them less than the best they can be. Sadly, as
many relationships mature, intimate partners tend to
lessen their commitments to those behaviors. It is too
easy to let up when life’s stresses intervene. But in
successful, long-term relationships, both partners count
on the other to keep them in check. They stay
committed to being the best people they can be for
themselves and for one another, and they hold each
other to those promises.
8. Ownership or possessiveness is unacceptable.
No one should ever feel that he or she is simply a player
in another person’s script. Insecurity, the need for
power, fear of loss, the drive to control, or not trusting
the other to comply, all undermine the free choice that
is the underlying foundation of love that deepens.
Threats of abandonment, retaliation, or non-
participation can get another person to temporarily fall
in line to satisfy the other’s demands while sacrificing
their own. But if that happens, martyrdom and
resentment will follow. The sense of being in a
relationship out of fear of loss does not create an
atmosphere where love can continue to grow. If those
feelings are ignored for too long, the relationship will fall
apart.
Ultimate love can only sustain when both partners want
the other to be the most alive, satisfied, intrigued, and
committed to life, wherever that person can find that
experience. All relationships go through difficult
situations, but too many without resolution can leave
lovers trapped in a lonely and meaningless partnership.
True love may end with the ultimate sacrifice: “I love you
enough to want you to be where you are the most
fulfilled, even if it turns out not to be with me.”
9. Never blame the other partner for what you cannot
be, have, or achieve in your own life.
Perhaps it is a dark part of human nature to place
accountability for unhappiness or failure away from
oneself, but it is a disaster in a love relationship. People
do look to their intimate partners as a source of stability,
comfort, and safety, as well they should. But a person’s
desires and hopes are not the other partner's
responsibility to fulfill.
Yes, one lover’s needs should be a high priority, but
every desire expressed by one partner cannot always be
automatically the goal of the other, no matter what the
circumstances. No partner deserves to be automatically
held accountable to meet them.
10. Continue to grow beyond your own limitations.
All human beings need both security and challenge,
whether alone or in a relationship. Too much
predictability seduces boredom and eventual decay. Too
many risks can undermine the comfort of familiarity. The
partners in long-term, successful relationships know that
they must preserve discovery, both within and between
themselves. Every person knows where he or she is
“locked-in” and where they are flexible. Openness to
new ideas and adventures challenges the status quo, but
introduces the differences that make for depth and
possibility.
Just think what it would be like to read the same book
every year. Some of the passages would still be exciting
and interesting, but all would lose their luster if they
were simply repeated exactly as they were once written.
When partners in a long-standing relationship tell me
they can finish each other’s sentences, I am not happy:
Why bother talking if you will always know what the
other partner is going to say?
The Top 5 Rules of Love
1. Do Unto Others as You Would Have Done To You.
This first rule is a golden rule that is an ethics code for
many religions and cultures around the world. This rule
is the first and most important of all because how we
treat other people does affect our own life. How people
treat other people displays their personality and how
they feel about themselves. People that are caring with
kind and positive words towards other people tend to
get further in life than negative people do. Treating
others with compassion, respect, and encouragement is
a virtue. This also shows others that you are a caring
person with morals and principles that are positive and
following this simple rule can inspire others to be more
positive. This will lead to more success and even a
happier future that can be noticed always and through
long lengths of time.
2. Honesty is Always the Best Policy.
The second rule of love is the most important for having
high principles and morals throughout life. This means
not lying to yourself, your partner, or to anyone at all.
The main point of this rule is that people who are close
to you always deserve the truth out of love and respect
for them. Not telling any lies and being honest is always
the best choice because sometimes lies can get too deep
and out of control, which can affect a person's life in the
present time and for many years to follow.
3. Cheaters Never Prosper.
The third rule is the most important for maintaining
healthy and positive relationships throughout life,
intimate or platonic. This includes cheating while playing
games but also on your partner, with anyone else's
partner, or even when you think no one will know about
it. Love involves being honest and having respect for
yourself and for all other people around you. Cheating
can be hurtful, harmful, damaging, and can cause a bad
reputation to be started. This rule of love pertaining to
cheating is often broken during these modern times and
with extremities. This rule should never be broken and is
very important for remaining respectful and respectable.
4. Always Forgive.
The fourth rule is the one rule that most people have a
hard time following because pride and bitterness get in
the way. This rule means so much because forgiveness
can set anyone free. Letting go of the hurt and pain,
putting it away and forgiving someone who has brought
pain can free the soul from the past and all of the
negative emotions. The first rule, the golden rule, and
this rule go hand in hand because a person wants to be
forgiven as much as the person who does the forgiving.
This rule is showing love, and respect, for the other
person and their feelings aside from the fact that they
did something wrong and or hurtful. Forgiving someone
for something small or very large can bring peace and
reduce stress. This rule applies to both men and women.
5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
 Don't get stuck in a repetitious pattern. if things
aren't working, change your approach your
perception, actions, responsibility frame, etc.
 Never Threaten the relationship.
 Commit to CANI (constant and never -ending
improvement) in your relationship. It's the key
to fulfillment.
 Each day, take pride in your consistent ability to
notice, appreciate and compli-ment all of the
great, wonderful, fantastic, awesome, exciting
and unique aspects of your partner.
 Never compare your relationship to that of
others- a sure formula for disaster.
 Remember that all upsets with anothers person
are rules upsets. Decide to value your
relationship over your rules. Create a fun
pattern interrupt that you and your partner can
use in order to change states easily.

 Reinforce your sense of connection through

This fifth and final top rule of love involves saying sorry
positive anchors such as family rituals or annual
multiple times, which can be damaging for different
traditions.
reasons. First, when a person hears it often from the
same person it starts to lose it's meaning and has no
 Decide that it's more important to be in love
effect. Also, resentment may start to develop because
than to be right.
no changes were made in a person's actions to prove
their sorry. Changes need to immediately follow an
apology, and some times so does an explanation. This
rule of love is important for people who really are sorry
for what they have done and want to change their ways
and express that through actions. Don't just say it, mean
it and change it. Trust will start to increase, along with
the lessening of mistakes and irrational decisions.

Cardinal Rules Of Love

 Never question the intent or the identity of the

person with whom you're in a relation-ship or
the nature of the relationship itself. Just
because you've experienced a problem today
doesn't mean the relationship itself is a
problem.

 Don't correct your spouse. Instead, interr-upt

the pattern in a fun and effective way.