Evaluate Sample Personal Statements

Sadie Allen, Sage Klingensmith, Maya Langin, and Johnathan Gilkin-Rizzo

Author’s Name:​ Margarita Fedorova ​Essay Title:​ Cheesecake

Briefly, what is the characteristic the author is hoping to show about him/herself?

The author is trying to display her resilience to do new activities. This is displayed through the

author having no experience going into the project and works her working hard to finish the task.

Briefly, why does ​this characteristic​ make sense for the job or a college application?

This characteristic is the best choice to showcase because people will eventually at some point in

their lives have difficulty. Since she is going to be new, it makes sense for her to point out that

she is not one to give up lightly and will find a way to come out of challenges successfully.

Briefly, what does THIS experience (resolution of the problem/conflict) show the reader

this characteristic?

The author gives a timeline of her work to show progression of the project at hand. She knows

that she could just give up and go buy one, but is determined to make it herself. This shows how

resilient she is doing even simple tasks.

Rate the essay 1-10. Be prepared to discuss in a group

Author’s Name:​ Cassidy Robinson ​Essay Title:​ Outside The Lines

Briefly, what is the characteristic the author is hoping to show about him/herself?

The characteristic the author is hoping to show about herself is that she is creative.
Briefly, why does ​this characteristic​ make sense for the job or a college application?

This characteristic makes sense for the college application because being creative helps you

stand out in a crowd. Most people don’t have a creative side so by being creative you seem

different than others and colleges are most likely want people who aren't exact clones of each

other.

Briefly, what does THIS experience (resolution of the problem/conflict) show the reader

this characteristic?

This experience shows the reader the creative characteristic by showing that even from a young

age. She expressed herself by drawing on herself and doing many creative activities throughout

her life.

Rate the essay 1-10. Be prepared to discuss in a group

Author’s Name:​ Reese Barton ​Essay Title:​ Trash Talk

Briefly, what is the characteristic the author is hoping to show about him/herself?

The author is hoping to show that he is very imaginative. He also wants to show that he is very

creative and resourceful.

Briefly, why does ​this characteristic​ make sense for the job or a college application?

This characteristic makes sense because it differentiates you from others. These people may have

a dull/unimaginative personality, so you would stand out.

Briefly, what does THIS experience (resolution of the problem/conflict) show the reader

this characteristic?
It shows the reader he is creative because he is able to take random pieces of trash and turn them

into cool inventions and things he can use in his everyday life.

Rate the essay 1-10. Be prepared to discuss in a group

The One That Takes The Cake Duncan Lynd

Briefly, what is the characteristic the author is hoping to show about him/herself?

The characteristics the author is hoping to show about himself was the fact that he likes to make

people feel good, the way he felt when his mother makes a cake for him.

Briefly, why does ​this characteristic​ make sense for the job or a college application?

This characteristic makes sense to apply to college because you need to have positive energy and

make a positive environment wherever you go because not everyone is capable of that. Giving

back is an important thing to do.

Briefly, what does THIS experience (resolution of the problem/conflict) show the reader

this characteristic?

This experience is shown that Duncan is giving back and paying it forward. He is helping others

and making a positive story out of a normal essay.

Rate the essay 1-10. Be prepared to discuss in a group