UNDERSTANDING THE ORIGINS OF ROMANTIC LOVE

Introduction:

Romantic love significantly influenced the western collective psychology. In western culture
romantic love became a mass phenomenon because it has replaced and surpassed religion as the field in
which men and women seek transcendence, wholeness and ultimate happiness. The idea of romantic love
proliferated in western society during the medieval era literature through the French Troubadour’s love
poems and The Myth of Tristan and Iseult. The notion of romantic love is greatly influenced by medieval
belief of true love defined as an ultimate act of adornment and affection to another human being that
projects our own image of perfection. Romantic love is not just a form of love. It is a whole
psychological package. A combination of beliefs, ideals, attitude and expectations. This includes an
unconscious assumption where the ultimate meaning of life and self- fulfillment is given by another
person. This irrational expectation results to tragic co-dependency and is the greatest mistake on the
western concept of romantic love1
However, the concept romantic love is not only limited with western societies. Eastern societies have
their historical accounts of romantic love. In Sanskrit Literature of India, Vatsayana authored Kama
Sutra. This book describes romantic love between men and women and provided detailed instructions on
how couples should physically unite their love. In 7th century China, despite the emphasis on Chinese
mores or code of ethics to preserve family tradition. There are written tales about the agony and pain of
men and women torn between obedience to their elders and romantic passion for a loved one. In
traditional Japan, when star crossed-lovers are promised to different partners they both end their lives by
2
committing suicide known as shin ju.
Over the past decades various academic disciplines seek to find a concrete explanation of what
romantic love is. Sociologist, anthropologist and psychologist have scientifically studied romantic love.

1
Robert Johnson. We Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love. (New York: HarperCollins, 1945), 1-2
2
Helen Fisher. Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage and why We Stray. (New York: W.W.
Norton and Company, 1992) 41-42

1
 They pursue to find the explanation behind the complexity of romantic love as a universal phenomenon, a
human emotion and a constantly changing cultural construct. 3
What do we really mean when we say romantic love? Is it about a collective construct or an individual
experience? Is romantic love a union of two people or just a personal fulfillment of one’s own idea of
love? This paper, pursue an understanding of what romantic love is through its origins in literature,
history, anthropology and psychology.

I. What is romantic love?

Collins’ Dictionary of Sociology defined romantic love as “an intensity and idealization of a love
relationship, in which the other is imbued with extraordinary virtue, beauty etc., so the relationship
overrides all other considerations including material ones.” Etymology of romantic love came from the
12th century French vernacular attribution of the word “romance” about a middle age verse narrative of
courtly lovers. The use of the term “romantic” pertaining to love proliferated in the Middle Ages when a
form of love is likened to the Roman Empire: passionate, magnificent and heroic. 4

A. Ancient and Contemporary: Romantic Love and Other Kinds of Love

The Ancient Greeks classified love in three forms Agape (affectionate love), Philia (non-sexual love)
Eros (sexual; romantic love). They were the first to postulate the idea of romantic love as merging or the
act of two people uniting as one. This was elaborated by Plato in his book Symposium. He wrote in
Aristophanes dialogue that humans where originally made as two pairs of a whole- four arms, four legs,
two heads. The Greek gods perceived them as too powerful so they decided to split them in halves and as
two human beings their challenge is to find their “other half” and reunite in love (eros). 5
Contemporary studies of romantic love have adapted this Greek concept. John Alan Lee, extensively
and intensively studied existing literature, philosophical writings and social science research and
developed an empirical method called the Love Story Card. This test includes 170 phrases about love and
his subjects from 6 to 15 responses to complete phrases about love. The data concluded with three
different primary love styles. The primary love styles are eros, storge, ludus. This is an attribute with
Ancient Greek literature. Eros is a passionate kind of love that is characterized by strong emotions and

3
Victor Kardasheev. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. (California: The Berkley Electronic Press, 2011) , 3
4
Martin Bergman. The Anatomy of Loving: The Story of Man’s Quest to Know What Love Is (New York; Ballantine
Books, 1987) 95-97
5
Plato, Symposium. Translated by Benjamin Jowett. (London; Pearson Publishing, 1956) 5-13

2
 intense physical longing for another person. Storge is a passionate love that develops slowly out of
friendship. Ludus is a love seen as a game. This is a game of winning the other person and is not about
commitment and fidelity. Later on, Clyde and Susan Hendrick developed a standardized test known as
The Love Attitude Scale (LAS) to measure the various styles of love in John Alan Lee’s theory. 6

B. Brain on Romantic Love:

An article published in a psychiatric journal postulated that love is an interaction of neurotransmitter

and hormones directly linked to the pleasure center of the brain. Love was divided into three behavioral
stages and explained by brain processes through Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) and
neurochemistry. The first phase, love is characterized by lust and sexual attraction. Sex hormones
especially estrogen and testosterone play a vital role in this phase. The surge of this hormones results to
physiological and behavioral alterations likened with addiction. Similar with addicts this stage of love is
characterized by “extremities of emotions”. The rise of sex hormones excites changes in vasopressin
(stress hormones) located in the hypothalamus (hormone to emotion processing area of the brain).

The second phase, attraction is characterized by increased energy and attention directed to the object
of affection. This phase includes biological and cognitive responses such as lack of sleep, changes in
appetite and constant thinking about the other person. This is an interaction of three neurotransmitters –
dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine. Dopamine is the brain’s pleasure chemical. Serotonin is an active
hormone during the phase of attraction. Epinephrine is responsible for a person’s flight-fight response.
This signals the activation of brain pathways responsible for reward processing (right caudate nucleus,
ventral tegmental area, putamen).

The last phase of love, attachment oxytocin and vasopressin are the main hormones. Oxytocin is a
stress relieving hormone. Vasopressin is responsible for lasting attraction or monogamous commitment.
The study suggested that these hormones play a vital role in aggression to secure their mates. Therefore,
the physiological signaling of these hormones are responsible for social and protective behaviors. This
study concludes romantic love is characterized by an individual’s change in behaviors, cognition and
emotion linked to attachment with another person. Further, the changes in the brain and behavior of a
person in love is similar with a person addicted to illegal substance (amphetamines, heroines, cocaine.).

6
Karin Sternberg. Psychology of Love 101. (New York; Springer Publishing Company, 2013) 37-40

3
On the contrary, “falling out of love” is similar with withdrawal from addiction. This results to adverse
psychological distress. 7

II. History of Romantic Love

Etymology and concept of romantic love states it love is a western construct. Predominantly the
concept of western romantic love was invented in the Middle Ages. The Middle Ages as period of
transition and transformation made romantic love a mass phenomenon as a form of cultural
transformation in literature. Church reforms from God the Father to Christ’s humanity introduced the
idea of other works of literature beside those of the church and more on the lives of ordinary people. Non-
secular literature in the 12th century invented romantic love. According to Laura Ashe, Associate
Professor of English at Worcester College and the Faculty of English in Oxford University “The spiritual
lives of ordinary people were recognized and people were encouraged to have a more emotional and
personal relationship with (Christian) God as individuals. And romantic love – giving yourself to another
person provides a justification, in the medieval moral compass for the pursuit of self-fulfillment as an
individual.8

A. Courtly Love

The term “courtly love” or amour courtois was coined by Gaston Paris a French medievalist to
characterize an attitude towards love that manifested itself in 12th century French literature. The
Troubadour’s a group of writers from Provence, France wrote and performed songs and poetries during
aristocratic events about love stories themed around a knight’s admiration, heroism and pursuit of a
woman of high social rank. The essence of courtly is similar with a knight’s military obligations. The
knight is expected to show bravery, heroism, patriotism and noble pursuits to her woman. The woman in
return shows fidelity or faithfulness to his knight. This idea countered religious norms that love should
only be present in the church sacrament of marriage. The metaphor of courtly love and a knight’s duty in
society extended its influence beyond literature to medieval culture as a new “code”, “body or rules” and
even a new way of life. Continuous literary accounts of courtly love in English, Italian and Spanish

7
A summary of Sahab Udin. Neurochemistry of Love: Can Romantic Love Truly be Addictive? I vol 21 no. 1 ( 2017).
1-3. Journal of Psychiatry. doi:10.4172/2378-5756.1000e113.
8
Clemency Pleming. Did Love Begin in the Middle Ages? University of Oxford. Accessed November 7, 2019.
http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/arts-blog/did-love-begin-middle-ages.

4
Troubadours along with Arthurian Legends introduced a profound concept of courtly love beyond
knighthood to culture in general. Medieval conception of courtly love involved the following
assumptions: First, sexual love between men and women is itself something worthy, an ideal worth
striving for. Secondly, Love enables both the lover and the beloved. Third, being an aesthetic attainment
sexual love cannot be reduced as only a physical impulse. Fourth, love pertains to courtesy and courtship
but not necessarily the institution of marriage. Lastly, love is an intense passionate relationship that
establishes a holy oneness between a man and a woman.9

B. The Myth of Tristan and Iseult

A definite concept of western romantic love which separates from courtly love first appeared in the
12th century Medieval Mythology of Tristan and Iseult. This deviates from the concept of courtly love as a
code to romantic love as way of seeking ultimate self- fulfilment and even the meaning of one’s own life
found through another person. This introduced a concept of romantic love defining life and even death.

A summary of the 12th century mythology: Tristan’s mother Blanchefluer died during
childbirth, which his father died earlier, leaving Tristan as an orphan. Tristan moves into his uncle King
Mark’s castle in Cornwall where he became a knight prodigy. As a rite of passage for knighthood, Tristan
defends the Kingdom of Cornwall against Morold, from the kingdom of Ireland. Tristan slayed his
nemesis but gets wounded by a poisoned barb. Morold’s sister Iseult, a beautiful blonde princess, has the
antidote. Tristan disguised in order for her to cure him. A few years later, a bird drops a blonde hair near
King Mark which he believes is a sign of her future wife. Tristan goes in search for the woman with this
hair strand and after his knightly adventurous act finds Iseult. The princess is aware that Tristan killed her
brother. Iseult threatens to kill Tristan but spares his life when he revealed that King Mark wants to marry
her. Meanwhile, the Irish queen has produced a potion that will create a great passion between Tristan and
Iseult. While on a boat ride, the two accidentally drank the potion and have resulted to an unbounded
passion which the two immediately consummated. In Cornwall, Iseult marries King Mark but continued
an adulterous affair with Tristan. Eventually, the king found out about the affair and sentenced Tristan to
die while Iseult to be ravished by hundreds of lepers. Tristan escapes the execution and saved Iseult.
Thereafter, they spent their years in the forest hiding from King Mark. The power of the potion wears off,
Tristan repents from breaking the knightly code and Iseult wants to be queen again. Mark forgives them,

9
Irvin Singer. The Nature of Love: Courtly and Romantic. (Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1984) 19-22

5
Iseult reclaimed her throne as the queen and Tristan is back in his knightly duties. Tristan eventually
married another woman Iseult, of the White Hands. Tristan cannot consummate their love because he
only thinks of the Queen Iseult. In a battle, Tristan was wounded by a poisonous lance. The only person
that can save her is Queen Iseult. Out of jealousy, Iseult of the White Hands informed Tristan the queen is
not coming to save her. Tristan eventually lacked the will to live and he died. Queen Iseult arrives and
found Tristan lifeless. As a result, she decided to kill herself so she can reunite with Tristan in the
afterlife. Mark forgives them and buried the two of them next to each other where upon two rose bushes
bloom and intertwined together. 10

C. The Psychology of Western Romantic Love

Robert Johnson, a Jungian psychologist and writer concluded what western romantic love is
through the myth’s synopsis. He states how western culture portrays romantic idealization and not a love
that is innate with a human being. Romantic love as a cultural construct is flawed because its existence is
meant to project an unrealistic expectation and egoistic needs to another person. Eventually, this story
leads to tragedy because the other person cannot realistically fulfill an image of perfection. Tragedy as an
epitome of love symbolize how a transcendental state of being is utterly unattainable through a
relationship with another person. Death symbolize how the quest of one’s idea of romantic love is found
not in life but in the afterlife. This justifies how romantic love is unreachable yet worthy of being
glorified. Nonetheless, the western concept of romantic love made the culture aware of human love. The
unrealistic concept of romantic love paradoxically defined the intense passion of human love. Love
between human beings is an absolute reality of human nature. The state of human love is a force that acts
from within that enables the person to look outside of itself and to cherish, value another human being.
Human love is a state of being – a relatedness, connectedness to another person an identification with this
11
person that simply flows within the self and is independent of any intentions or projections. Therefore,
the nature of human love is selfless while the concept of western romantic love is egoistic.

10
Ira Israel. The Myth of Romantic Love In Western Culture: Its Recent Portrayal in Popular Cinema and Its Relation
to Finitude. (California; University of California ,1999) 3-5
11
Johnson, “We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love,’’189-191.

6
 1. Historical Accounts of Romantic Love in the East

Romantic love is not a term used to describe a form of love in Eastern Societies. Instead, each
culture has its own name to describe a love between two people. Romantic love in eastern society is
defined its belongingness in existing culture. For example, in eleventh and twelfth century India, romantic
love is described as a metaphysical eroticism and a part of one’s spirituality. In feudal Japan, romantic
love is not a love between two people but a form of extending family ties similar with Chinese mores.
Japanese literatures dealt with forbidden love between lovers of different social class and tragic stories of
star-crossed lovers. Western romantic love and eastern accounts of love is similar with how they first
associated love with religion. Tantamount with western society, love between two people co-exist with
societal norms and social classes. Tragic ending of romantic love is also a theme in eastern literature. In
contrast with western romantic love as a personal or individual avenue for seeking wholeness. Eastern
romantic love is a way of identifying with one’s own culture.

A. Religion in India (11th – 12th Century)

Hinduism as a religious practice of spirituality was a part of Indian society. Puranic Hinduism is
associated with appearance of regional kingdoms, royal palace and temples in India. Puranas is a worship
of gods and goddesses alongside tantric and bhakti elements. Tantra in Hinduism is a liberation of
spiritual energy and expansion of consciousness using elements of human sexuality. Bhakti is a devotion
and identification of gods and goddesses worship during temple rituals. Shingara rasa an element of
tantra is a supernatural sexual union of a divine partner. This differs from rati which is a lust and love
superficial relationship. In Buddhism principles of dharma (righteousness), artha (acquisition) and kama
(pleasure) are practiced as a way of living. The pursuit of kama as a pattern of desire-pleasure-love
required elements of sexual union stated great detail in a set of erotic rules. Indian religious accounts
describe romantic love as a divine sexual union and an extension of religious dualistic views of body and
spirit.12

12
William Reddy. The Making of Romantic Love: Longing and Sexuality in Europe, South Asia and Japan, 900-1200
CE .(Chicago; The University of Chicago Press, 2012) 224-228.

7
 B. Romantic Love in Japanese History

In Heian Japan (7th century- 11th century) concept of sexual partnership as a social roles and
expression of divine love from gods and goddesses. Indigenous worship called kami included sexual
partnership as a form of seeking heaven in earth. In seventh and eighth century, Chinese mores or law
code of imperial governance and patriarchy dominated eastern sociopolitical thought. Ninth and eleventh
century Japanese kinship was influenced by Chinese mores. Marriage and kinship were viewed as a
means of extending economic and social ties for both families with more power given with the patrilineal
lineage.13The Tale of Genji in 11th century Japan is a romantic novel about the protagonist Genji’s love
interest and courtship in effeminate aristocratic society. 17th century literature and kabukis (theater play)
focused on love stories that deviates from social norms and has a darker theme of love. This dark way of
love made the society aware of shin-ju as a tragic ending of both lovers. Shin-ju is known as double-
suicide in Japanese culture. Star-crossed lovers who are separated by existing norms and social structures
commit suicide as adherence with existing samurai culture of suicide (hara-kiri) and their celebration of
union in death. 14

III. Romantic Love in Social Sciences

In social sciences, romantic love still holds a mystery. Researchers from a number of fields of
sciences including psychology and anthropology have tried to arrive with a concrete explanation of
romantic love. Despite concluding romantic love as a universal human experience there is no precise
definition of romantic love. Mostly agree, that romantic love is a complex human emotion. It is classified
psychologically as a biological process and a set of behaviors and thinking patterns. Culturally, romantic
love is suggested as a fluid construct or it changes based on what culture or period it belongs.15 This
chapter empirically defines romantic love through anthropology and psychology.

13
Reddy, “The Making of Romantic Love: Longing and Sexuality in Europe, South Asia and Japan, 900-1200
CE”,243- 245.

14
Hoffman, Michael. Till Death Do Us Unite: Japan's Dark Tales of Love. The Japan Times. Accessed November 15,
2019. https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2018/03/17/national/history/till-death-us-unite-japans-dark-tales-
love/.
15
Sarah Pinto. How Do You Define Romantic Love? This. Accessed November 24, 2019.
https://this.deakin.edu.au/self-improvement/how-do-you-define-romantic-love/.

8
 A. Anthropology of Romantic Love

According to Dr. Leonard Plotnicav, an anthropologist at the University of Pittsburgh and editor of
the journal Ethnology “western historians have agreed that romantic love is indeed a product of European
medieval culture that have influenced the collective thinking of the west They dismissed the perspective
that romantic love from other culture only represents the views of the elite societies. This resulted to a
scholarly bias of studying romantic love as one of their variables. “However, recent studies from western
anthropologist changed this viewpoint about the absence of romantic love in cultures. They postulated,
romantic love described as an intense attraction and longing for another person is a human universal.
They have concluded that romantic love is a legacy of humanity’s shared evolutionary past. What appears
to be an expression of romantic love is actually a human instinct. The first cross-cultural study conducted
by Dr. William Jankowiak, anthropologist at the University of Nevada and Dr. Edward Fisher,
anthropologist at Tulane University systematically compared romantic love in both western and eastern
culture through previous studies, archival data and literary accounts. The study found, out of 166 cultures
romantic love is present in 147 of them or a total of 89 percent. The other 19 cultures showed an
inconclusive concise evidence of romantic love. The anthropologist explained the absence of romantic
love in those cultures is due to underlying cultural and economic repression that hinders an individual’s
self-expression including romantic love16

B. Cross-cultural Language of Romantic Love

According to Dr. Victor Karandasheev, a psychologist love seems to be a universal and biologically
based emotion understood by races, religions and culture. Cross-language expression of romantic love
suggest how the expression of love surpassed linguistic barriers. The English phrase of showing a
romantic affectionate to another person is “ I love you” and linguistic counterpart exist among other
cultures. Over 100 languages have a direct translation of this phrase: Je’t aime (French), Ich liebe Dich
(German ) , Yo te quiero / Yo te amo (Spanish) , Serviyorum (Turkish), Jag alskar dig (Swedish), Ya tebe

16
Daniel Goleman. “After Kinship and Marriage, Anthropology Discovers Love”. New York Times. Accessed
November 22, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com.sciences/kinship-and-marriage-anthropology-discovery-love/.

9
kahayu (Ukrainian), Mikvarhar (Georgian), Ti amo (Italian), Ngo oiy ney a ( Cantonese-Chinese) Mahal
Kita (Tagalog) Ndinoduka (Zimbabwe), Mi aime jou (Creole) etc. 17

Further, a cross-linguistic study suggest that verbal expression of love may have a different
connotation across culture. For instance, Italians and Americans associate love with happiness, passion
and companionship and an intensely positive experience. On the other hand, Chinese participants
associate love in a negative manner relating love with sadness, infatuation and unrequitedness. For
English, Italian, Basque (Spanish) and Indonesian participants- love is identified as an emotion and with
other five distinct emotions- happiness, love, fear, anger, sadness and hate. Scientist also concluded,
people across culture can distinguish between love as a state or being in-love and love as an action or
loving. This concludes, love is present across languages because it is a universal emotion. 18

C. The Art and Paradox of Romantic Loving

Collectively, western romantic love is interchangeably attributed to romantic love as a universal

emotion. Can this concept of loving another person be interchangeable on an individual level? Similarly,
with how western romantic love is egoistic and how romantic love as a universal emotion is selfless. Can
someone feel an egoistic love and misidentify it as real love? This chapter takes on both perspective of
romantic love in a subjective level using concepts from two psychologist Erich Fromm and Sigmund
Freud.

Erich Fromm a psychologist and philosopher stated in his 1956 book The Art of Loving concluded
that love is the answer to the problem of human existence. Love as part of human nature roots its instinct
on human attachment and human’s natural drive for belongingness. Attachment is primarily defined in a
mother-child relationship. This is on how the child make sense of his early existence by being dependent
on his mother for nurturing. This psychological pattern is adapted throughout his existence in a sense of
breaking from a feeling of separation and finding belongingness in his environment. Romantic love is an
art or a skill of symbiotic union or an interrelation between two people: It is described as a paradox of two

17
Victor Karandashev. Romantic Love in Cultural Context. ( Basel, Springer; 2017) , 3
18
Philip Shaver, Morgan Hillary and Shelley Wu. Is Love A Basic Emotion? Vol 3 no. 1 (1996). 81-96 Personal
Relationships Journal doi. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.1996.tb00105.x.

10
being becoming one yet remains as two. Romantic love is defined as a psychological force of breaking an
individual’s sense of separation from his fellowmen and create a sense of union with others. Loving
another person is not just about a relationship with a singular person but instead a human’s relationship
with the object of affection and his relatedness with other people in his environment. This is simultaneous
with his self-discovery. 19

A self-help book once said “If love is the answer can you rephrase the question?”.20 While the
former, conceptualize the individual psychological process of loving another is simultaneous and
interrelated with an individual own construct of love. In contrast, other psychological theories stated that
loving oneself is separate from loving another person. For example, Sigmund Freud’s theory on love and
desire stated one of a human being’s survival patterns is through seeking pleasure. This state of mind
directs a person from finding the worth of living through seeking pleasure and drastically avoiding pain.
This results into a split-view of a person’s reality or what he actually is and fantasy or what he wants to
be. With this line of thinking, satisfaction is on the side of fantasy. Particularly, the state of romantic love
is actually the state of frustration. The romantic significance of another person is proportionate with how
the person is realistically unattainable. Romantic love is a desire for instant gratification and sexual
fantasies. Paradoxically romantic love is an escape from loving one’s self. Instead of resolving personal
past hurt and establishing a profound awareness of self the human escapes this by desiring for another
human being and calling it love.21

IV. Conclusion:

Romantic love was coined and conceptualized during the Middle Ages. The western concept of
romantic love was based on existing societal condition during of transition from religious influence to
non-secular social influence. The Middle ages as a period of cultural transformation made way for
romantic love to dominate the western collective thinking through inventing romantic love in literature.
Literary concept of romantic love explained the egoistic components of loving another person.
Nevertheless, this idea of romantic love conceptualized the idea of an innate selfless human nature which

19
Erich Fromm. The Art of Loving (London: Bradford & Dickens, 1957) 7-21
20
Peter McWilliams. Love 101: To Love Oneself is the Beginning of a Lifelong Romance (Denver; Prelude Press,
1996) , 7
21
Sigmund Freud. “A Special Type of Choice of Object Made by Men” in The Stanford Edition of the Complete
Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud

11
is love. Therefore, what other fields of study refer to as romantic love does not exactly pertain about the
medieval concept of romantic love rather about a concept that originated with a human being’s instinct of
uniting with another human being. The human being’s collective awareness of this human nature, love
was through the mass proliferation of the literary account of western romantic love. The literary romantic
accounts of loving another person agree with concepts of earlier ancient Greek philosophy about love as a
merging of two people. Eastern societies also have historical accounts of romantic love in their religion,
literature, and culture which are contextually similar with the west. Romantic love is also empirically
studied through social sciences

Scientifically speaking, brain process during the phase of romantic love likened with addiction
biologically proves that romantic love is indeed an intense psychological force. Anthropological studies
of romantic love empirically prove the assumption of romantic love being innate among humans.
Romantic love is expressed regardless of cultural belongingness and is present across different languages.
In addition, social sciences conclude that romantic love is universal because it is an emotion every human
being experience similar with happiness, sadness etc. However, social sciences have not agreed on one
concrete explanation of romantic love. A factor for this, romantic love is a complex emotion that causes
other emotions like happiness, sadness etc. Further, each culture express love diversely and one of the
underlying factor on why it does not have a concrete explanation. Henceforth, sciences concurred with the
fact that romantic love is a complex emotion that is universally experienced.

The psychological state of loving another human being is also influenced by a person’s sense of
himself. Similar with how western romantic love and romantic love as a human nature can be
interchanged to describe romantic love. An individual can also confuse romantic love with other state that
is not romantic love like fantasies or an illusion to escape from looking for love within one’s self. In spite
of that, romantic love as a genuine state can also be experienced as a force that relates an individual not
just with the object of love but with the environment and simultaneously more about himself.

The introduction part defined western romantic love is as an ultimate act affection to another human
being that projects our own image of perfection and a psychological package of beliefs, ideals, attitude
and expectations and finding the ultimate meaning of life through another person. On the other hand, the
human universal called romantic love similarly goes along those lines hence with a profound notion.
Romantic love is a complex emotion innate among humans that enables him to look outside of himself

12
and to cherish value and feel affection for another human being including feeling other emotions because
of another person.

Therefore, when we refer to romantic love as a feeling of constant thinking, cherishing and affection
for another person is not only limited with the interaction of the person loving and the person who is
loved. Genuinely loving someone or the state of romantic love is also experiencing something complex
that is within us but simultaneously a force that extends outside of us. This innate complex emotion of
romantic love or loving another person is not just found in a relationship of two people. Rather the
expression of romantic love co-exists collectively with history, literature and empirically in the sciences
of psychology and anthropology as universal among humans or something that all of us experience.

13