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How to Quiet Your Mind The Wisdom of ZAPPED AT WORK?

Simple
When Panic Strikes Making Mistakes Tips to Boost Your Energy

WHY YOUR
HEALTHY BODY IS
DESIGNED

MIND, TO MEDITATE

HEALTHY « Giselle Jones


Social Worker and
Psychotherapist

LIFE
5 Ways to Kick
Bad Habits

+LAMOTT
ANNE
TRUST YOUR
ON RADICAL
CREATIVE BRAIN KINDNESS
& GIVE YOUR
INNER CRITIC
A BREAK

JUNE 2017
mindful.org
mindful
CONTENTS june
68 46 28

“When I started this journey, I thought I ON THE COVER


PHOTOGRAPHS BY LEVER RUKHIN, GETTY IMAGES/KIM KULISH, GETTY IMAGES/ANDY RYAN, AND PLAINPICTURE/AURORA PHOTOS/LESLIE PARROTT

was searching for a magical bag of tricks 30 41


to help me turn dross into creative gold. HEALTHY MIND, How to Quiet
HEALTHY LIFE Your Mind When
But what I discovered was that creativity 5 Ways to Kick Panic Strikes
Bad Habits
isn’t a fancy parlor game; it’s a more 44
8 Why Your Body
intimate way of relating to the world.”
The Wisdom of Is Designed to
Hugh Delehanty on how mindfulness Making Mistakes Meditate
nurtures creativity, p. 54
36 54
Zapped at Work? Trust Your
5 Tips to Boost Creative Brain
Your Energy & Give Your Inner
Critic a Break

68
Anne Lamott on
Radical Kindness

54

June 2017 mindful 1


contents

june 44

10

30

FEATURES Living Practices Departments

44 Take a Seat 22 34 8 4
Food Inner Wisdom Point of View The Mindful
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to
A Tender Heart The Power of Err on the Side
meditation posture. We offer guidelines Survey
Béatrice Peltre Solitude of Human
to help you find the right position for
takes a moment Spending time Barry Boyce on
your body.
to appreciate one alone with our- why this year’s 10
of her favorite selves may not be Academy Awards Top of Mind
46 Meditation on Foot vegetables: the easy or even desir- are a lesson in
Leave your FitBit and pump-up music artichoke. able. But it’s key embracing your
to getting to know mistakes. 16
at home, and try out mindful running.
This fresh approach to fitness tunes you 28 who we really are. Mindful-Mindless
in to your mind as well as your body. Walk the Talk 18
The result is a whole new experience Intimately 36 Brain Science 80
of fitness. Mindful Work-Life True, False,
Psychotherapist Balance or Hmm? Bookmark This
and social worker Running on The latest findings
54 The Mind Set Free

PHOTOGRAPHS BY JOJO OLDHAM AND MICHAEL PIAZZA, ILLUSTRATION BY COLLEEN MACISAAC


Giselle Jones talks Empty? in psychology— 88
Hugh Delehanty embarks on a about using mind- Every workplace about our deep-
creativity and mindfulness retreat, MindSpace
fulness to help harbors potential seated thoughts,
where he discovers that the key to being people open up. drains to creative emotions, and
creative is to strip away all but the energy. Do you behaviors—get
essentials of who and what you are. 30 recognize yours? a lot of media
How to Live attention. Unfor-
68 Radical Kindness a Mindful Life 41 tunately, they
Break the Chains The Mindful FAQ often turn out to be
Renowned writer, devoted grandmother,
5 simple ways to Am I Doing This flawed or false.
and thought-provoker Anne Lamott
make healthier Right?
shares her latest fascination with an
habits. The latest install-
act we rarely consider but desperately
ment in our series
need: mercy.
of helpful answers
to common medi-
72 Go Toward What Hurts tator questions.
Frank Ostaseski shares experiences
from his decades working with dying
people and those who are dealing with On our cover: Giselle Jones,
the death of loved ones. social worker and psychotherapist.
Photograph by Lever Rukhin.
Hair/makeup by Alma Diffie.

2 mindful June 2017


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the mindful survey

Your Inner Artist


Highlights from our reader survey on creativity

Have you ever dreamed of Does your creativity thrive in What’s the most creative thing
becoming an artist? peace or chaos? you’ve done?

In peace: 61% ƈ “Got through a shopping trip with


In chaos: 8% two young boys.”
Doesn't matter: 31% ƈ “Wrote and performed my own
acting monologue.”
ƈ “Developed a software ERP system.”
Do you have a song that pumps ƈ “At age three, I removed an entire box
you up when you’re doing creative of tampons from their tubes, tacked
work? them all on the wall over my parents'
bed, then put all the tubes on my fin-
ƈ “I prefer quiet.” gers and showed my mother.”
ƈ “Anything delightfully cheesy.” ƈ “Raised children.”
ƈ “‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem” ƈ “Built and owned the ‘best apartment
YES NO ƈ “Random Spotify song. One song. in the world’ in 2009, according to the
Then silence.” International Property Awards.”

64% 36% ƈ “‘Dancing On My Own’ by Robyn.” ƈ “Made a model of the solar system.”
ƈ “Cooked awesome food that didn’t
kill anyone.”
Are you more creative by yourself ƈ “I wrote a novel.”
What's your creative outlet or with others? ƈ “Sold String Cheese.”
of choice? ƈ “Performance dancing in New York
BY MYSELF WITH OTHERS in the '60s.”
In order of popularity: ƈ “Designed a space suit.”
ƈ “Created a complete aluminum
1
2
Writing
Cooking
6
7
Dancing
Painting 74% 26% casting foundry.”
ƈ “Sang and danced in a West
3 Photography 8 Music End musical.”
4 Drawing 9 Acting
5 Textiles
Who is the most creative person
you know, and why?
Do you believe creativity is
learned or inherent? ƈ “My son—he doesn't play by any
of the ‘rules.’”
Learned: 14% ƈ “Leonardo da Vinci; he was creative on
Inherent: 46% all levels. Even in science and the arts.”
Not sure: 40% ƈ “My cat.”
ƈ “Earth. She creates, and stays
grounded.”

4 mindful June 2017


DharmaCraf ts
THE CATA LOG OF MEDITATION SUPPLIES
Barry Boyce Jessica von Handorf
Editor-in-Chief Art Director
since 1979
Claire Ciel Zimmerman Spencer Creelman
Deputy Editor Associate Art Director

Heather Hurlock
Editor, Digital
Teo Furtado
Contributing Editor, East Coast dharmacrafts.com
Stephany Tlalka Kelle Walsh
Deputy Editor, Digital Contributing Editor, Midwest

Kaitlin Quistgaard Barbara Graham


Editor-at-Large Contributing Editor, West Coast
Meditation Cushions
Hugh Delehanty Katerina Sushko
Editor-at-Large Editorial Assistant
Yoga Mats
James Gimian John Sheehy
Publisher General Manager
Inspirational Jewelry
Julia Sable Daniel Scott
Business Development Associate Publisher,
& Partnerships Director Consumer Marketing Meditation CDs
Andrew Karr Leslie Duncan-Childs
Finance Director Audience Development
Manager DharmaKids Collection
Kenneth Swick
Controller Alan Brush
Circulation Planning
Cindy Littlefair Director
Human Resources Manager
Rebecca Pearson
Christel LeBlanc Fulfillment Manager
Graphic Designer

Advertising Inquiries

Kevin Gillespie Paul Laybolt


Advertising Director Advertising & Finance
kevin@mindful.org Administrator
844-431-8060
Nancy Dengler paul@mindful.org
Advertising Sales Manager
215-622-3092
nancy@mindful.org

Board of Advisors

Mindful is pleased to have the support of leading authorities in the


field of mindfulness. To see Mindful’s board of advisors, please visit
mindful.org/about-mindful

The Foundation for a Mindful Society Moving? Notify us six weeks in


An independent, nonprofit corporation. advance. We cannot be responsible for
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June 2017 mindful 5 Request a Catalog


the mindful survey

Where in your house do


you have most of your
“Every sunset
epiphanies? and cloud
31% formation is a
OF PEOPLE HAVE THE one-of-a-kind
MAJORITY of their epiph-
anies in bed, and 16% have work of art.”
them while in the shower.
11% of people have them on
the couch, while another 11%
have them in their backyard.
6% report that most of their
epiphanies occur in the What was your favorite
kitchen, 3% have them in the creative activity as a child?
hallway, and less than 1%
have their epiphanies mostly ƈ “Making clothes for my
on the toilet. The remaining doll from scraps of fabric.
22% report their epipha- I loved rummaging for
nies occur in other places, scraps and still do!”
most notably in the bath, ƈ “When I was supposed to
while exercising, and during nap, I would jump on the
meditation. bed and make ridges and
valleys in my quilt. Then I
would sit quietly and imag-
ine towns and people living
between the ‘mountains.’
(I'm from Colorado.)”
ƈ “Needlework and cooking
with my grandmother.”
ƈ “Daydreaming.”
ƈ “Making a ‘radio show’ with
a tape recorder and my
siblings.”
ƈ “Putting on plays.”
ƈ “Puzzles.”
ƈ “Designing houses.”
ƈ “Melting crayons, building
bricks with the melted wax,
and building cities with the
wax bricks.” ●

connect
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Comments chosen for publication may be edited for length and clarity.
All submissions and manuscripts become the property of The Foundation
for a Mindful Society.

6 mindful June 2017


point of view

Err on the Side of Human


At this year’s Academy Awards, our thing, and whether we win or lose
the night’s big award, best picture, was is not the end of the world. Aren’t mis-
largely a contest between two movies: takes wonderful that way?
La La Land, a bubbly, lighter-than-air Yet we so often shrink from mis-
musical depicting beautiful people takes. Many of our organizations
traipsing through the hills, valleys, make it a habit of punishing mistakes
boulevards, and freeways of LA; and harshly, meting out shame that makes
Moonlight, a gritty coming-of-age story people feel small. That’s such a foolish
about a young African American mar- strategy, though, since mistakes are
ginalized not only through racial dis- essential for life. Without genetic
crimination but because he is poor, gay, “mistakes”—mutations—the variabil-
and being raised by a mother addicted ity that life needs to continue into
to drugs. Despite its grave theme, future generations would not emerge.
Moonlight uplifts; it’s about resilience Things would be too static.
and love in the face of untold odds. We need random acts of failure to
Barry Boyce In the inevitable social media wars, move forward. In our human interac-
Editor-in-Chief La La Land was denigrated for even tions, flubs keep us real. Our natural
barry@mindful.org being considered in the same league vulnerability, which we so often hide,
as a movie of the depth of Moonlight. emerges, promoting connection with
Our must-read story this issue: So, when La La Land won the night’s others. Errors can inspire the truly
In “The Mind Set Free,” Hugh final Oscar, many Moonlight fans lovely emotion of forgiveness. How
Delehanty learns how to let his turned off their TVs. When the La pleasant is the sound of “That’s OK”?
creativity run wild. On page 54. La Land acceptance speeches were Mistakes are also the key to learn-
halted to announce that the true win- ing. As psychologist Kelly McGo-
ner was Moonlight, it shocked every- nigal points out, “…the process of
one involved. A truly human moment ‘failing’—when you’re willing to pay
emerged when the teams from both attention—is often what leads to the
movies expressed their respect and greatest successes,” and early work
Read a short report on the scientific admiration for their counterparts. by Jon Kabat-Zinn demonstrated that
research behind the value of making The pettiness stirred up in the social practicing mindfulness could trigger a
mistakes at mindful.org/mistakes media universe was not in evidence brain shift that decreased the overre-
onstage. Though they made very action to things not going as planned.
different movies, their behavior sug- This responding-not-reacting quality
gested a mutual appreciation for the is the essence of becoming resilient.
artistry involved in depicting the light The practice of meditation is
and comic and the heavy and tragic. founded on making mistakes. Our
That’s what made it striking: Some- attention will wander, which gives us
thing delightful and heartwarming the delightful opportunity to return
emerged from a mistake. Having home—with a smile. And above all,
PHOTOGRAPH BY MARVIN MOORE

been blown out of proportion, things mistakes happen with ease. We don’t
returned to appropriate size: Hey, have to try to mess things up. A mess
we’re just human beings here doing awaits us just around the corner. ●

VOLUME FIVE, NUMBER 2, Mindful (ISSN 2169-5733, USPS 010-500) is published bimonthly for $29.95 per year USA, $39.95 Canada &
$49.95 (US) international, by The Foundation for a Mindful Society, 228 Park Ave S #91043, New York, NY 10003-1502 USA. Periodicals
postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Mindful, PO Box 469018, Escondido, CA
92046. Canada Post Publication Mail Agreement #42704514. CANADIAN POSTMASTER: Send undeliverable copies to Mindful, 1660 Hollis St,
Suite 703, Halifax, NS B3J 1V7 CANADA. Printed in U.S.A. © 2017 Foundation for a Mindful Society. All rights reserved.

8 mindful June 2017


what’s new

Top of Mind
Things that spark our minds, touch our hearts, make us smile—
or roll our eyes. Keep up with the latest in mindfulness.

Putting Emotions on the Map


It’s hard to talk about emotions and to get a feel for how they work. To
offer some aid, emotion researcher Paul Ekman teamed up with the Dalai
Lama and data visualization firm Stamen to create the Atlas of Emotions, a
website that allows you to explore the dimensions of your emotions to help
“increase choice in what we become emotional about and how we respond.”

The New Picture of Health


We all know that engaging in health-
ful habits—and eliminating the
unhealthy ones—promotes physical
and psychological well-being. But
knowing what to do to be healthier
and actually doing it isn’t the same
thing. A new initiative aims to make
it easier to adopt a healthy lifestyle by
modeling what that looks like. Call-
ing itself a “behavioral pharmacy,”
the nonprofit Open Source Wellness
offers weekly drop-in events in Oak-
land, California, that include exercise,
meditation, healthful meals, and com-
munity interaction—the four pillars
of physical and psychological health,
according to organizers.
“We’re providing structure and

ILLUSTRATION BY ATLASOFEMOTIONS.ORG, THE OPEN SOURCE INITIATIVE


support to fill the ‘behavioral pre-
scriptions’ doctors give patients:
Eat healthier, exercise more, reduce
your stress, connect meaningfully
with others,” states cofounder Ben
Emmert-Aronson, PhD.
There are no lectures, classes, or
intakes, just experiential participation
Universal emotions, designed to show people how to move
clockwise from top: more, eat better, and get connected.
anger, disgust, sad- Kind of like a community potluck,
ness, enjoyment, and plus. And the big vision for this expe-
fear. Clicking one at riential preventive health model? To
atlasofemotions.org become integrated into healthcare
shows an interactive centers and communities nationwide,
diagram with more and be paid for on a sliding scale by
detail on that emotion. individuals and by health insurers.

10 mindful June 2017


Awe Yeah!
CRAZE
We’ve all experienced awe
OR
in the face of the momen- CRAZY
tous: A moment of stunned
awareness, when our bodies
are suffused with won-
der, vitality, and presence. Sometimes you
What’s more, research is just can’t decide
finding that the experience if something’s
of awe produces some pow- groundbreaking or
erful benefits. In addition to totally bonkers. Our
promoting altruism, loving- jury’s out. What’s
kindness, and magnanimity, your verdict?
awe may boost the body’s
After decades of internalizing unsolicited defense systems and help
remarks from others about her body, British people better cope with A MIND CLEANSE
designer Jojo Oldham displayed all the com- stress. Another bit of good Okay, so you start by
mentary—nasty and nice—on a dress, illustrat- news: Awe doesn’t have grabbing some soap
ing her challenging journey to self-acceptance. to be a once-in-a-lifetime and a scalpel, and
experience. Even something then...just kidding!
as simple as a walk can “Mind Cleanse” is
bring it about. becoming a popular
term to refer to vari-
Taking a Measure of Compassion To explore the first-ever ous activities and pro-
All too often, medical care is dismally short on virtual-reality guided awe grams with the aim
compassion, even though reports have identified it walk, go to mindful.org/ of a clearer, calmer
as an essential ingredient for providing quality care. A awewalk mind. Just because it
major barrier to change is the lack of a valid, reliable way sounds suspiciously
to assess compassion in clinical settings. Recently, Shane If It Is Broke, Do Fix It! similar to “brainwash-
Sinclair of the University of Calgary and other Canadian It’s scary how easily ing,” doesn’t make it
colleagues surveyed the existing methods out there. most modern devices fall the same thing, right?
Scouring through research databases, they turned up apart, and how hard (and
nine studies describing seven different compassion mea- expensive!) it is to repair
surement tools, ranging from a self-report questionnaire them. Yet the financial WEED YOGA
for nurses in Korea to a survey of patients’ perceptions and environmental cost of People have been
of hospital physicians’ caregiving from the Boston-based replacing our broken stuff is smoking joints and
Schwartz Center for Compassionate Healthcare. All reaching a breaking point. doing stretches for
seven methods have “significant limitations that warrant Enter iFixIt, the Wikipedia decades, but recently
careful consideration,” the authors concluded. No single of repair manuals, which yoga studios have
instrument measured compassion in a comprehensive or offers a virtual library of opened up that
PHOTOGRAPH BY JOJO OLDHAM, FREDDIE RAMM

rigorous enough fashion; for instance, most of the tools manuals for fixing phones, specialize in yoga
didn’t directly evaluate the desire to help ease suffering, staplers, cars—pretty much “enhanced” with
a key element distinguishing compassion from empathy. anything you can think of— marijuana.
And for most of the methods, there was little evidence of all written and edited by
the measurements’ reliability, validity, or interpretability. the site’s audience.
MEDITATION
TRUCKS
Making A small Iowa town is doing its bit to reduce the bee-pop- Picture a food truck—
Space to ulation crisis: Cedar Rapids plans to seed 188 acres with only for meditation.
native prairie grasses and wildflowers. Eventually, the city The latest in portable
Just Bee
hopes to dedicate 1,000 acres to bee-friendly foodstuffs. services, medita-
tion trucks have
been popping up
and wheeling around
US cities, including
Detroit and Austin.

June 2017 mindful 11


what’s new

EXTRA- Being Humble Can


ORDINARY Have Its Strengths
ACTS OF
KINDNESS Based on national
survey responses
from 2,800 participants,
researchers found correla-
tions suggesting that more
humility may help people
cope better with stress-
ful life events. Perhaps
Starting Off Right humble folks are more
willing to reach out for
Here are some exciting projects that are bringing
When a man support, buffering against
mindfulness to future generations.
showed up at an mood problems.
airport with his A Kinder
toddler daughter,
Sesame Street Farmers of the Future It’s Official:
he was unpleas-
antly surprised to We know Oscar is grouchy, A high school in South Los Americans Are
learn that, having but can he learn to be more Angeles might just be train- More Stressed
just turned two, kind? The folks behind ing the agricultural and
she now needed Sesame Street think so. environmental leaders of In its annual survey
her own ticket, Responding to parental tomorrow. The Gardening on “Stress in Amer-
and he couldn’t concerns about the unkind Apprenticeship Program ica,” conducted in August,
afford it. A nearby state of today’s world, the at John C. Fremont High the American Psychologi-
stranger noticed show dedicated its 2017 School has taught city kids cal Association found that
and, without hesi- season to kindness. And about urban agriculture, a little more than half of
tation, she bought mindfulness plays a role. environmental justice, nutri- Americans were finding
the $749 ticket. To formulate its Kindness tion, and healthy cooking the election a significant
Curriculum, Sesame Work- since 2012. The program also source of stress, prompting
shop tapped the expertise of provides training in basic the surveyers to do a fol-
researchers and educators, agricultural techniques and low-up in January, which
including the University exposure to career opportu- revealed that Americans’
of Wisconsin–Madison’s nities in the agriculture and stress had increased from
Center for Healthy Minds, environmental studies. 4.8 to 5.1 on a 10-point
which developed a mindful- scale in the intervening
ness-based kindness curric- months, representing the
ulum that’s being taught in Mindfulness K-12 first significant increase
area schools. Early research since the poll began 10
The city of India- shows improvements on Kids in Australia are being years ago. Both Republi-
napolis installed academic performance and taught to meditate thanks cans (59%) and Democrats

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY SESAME WORKSHOP, GRATISOGRAPHY


tiny ramps along measures of altruism among to a new initiative by the (76%) reported being
its downtown participating students. country’s state media. stressed about the future
canal in order to It even works for Oscar Mindfully…Back to School, of the country.
save ducklings the Grouch: After some a project of the Australian
and other small reluctance, he agrees to take Broadcasting Corporation’s
semi-aquatic ani- his pet worm, Slimey, to a Radio division and the non-
mals from drown- garden party to celebrate Be profit mindfulness educa-
ing. The ramps, Kind to Your Worm Day. tion organization Smiling
made of wood “Cognitively it’s hard for Mind, offers guided medita-
and insulation (to children to take on the per- tions designed for kids at
help them float), spective of someone else. the different stages of their
allow the birds to Through the characters, we youth, from primary school
mount the canal’s can model that behavior,” all the way up to their uni-
concrete edge says Sesame Workshop’s versity years, accessible on
with ease. Rosemarie Truglio. the ABC website or app.

12 mindful June 2017


what’s new

INQUIRE The Cost of Happiness?


Across six studies, a
New York University
online experiment asked
476 adults to sell a used
researcher and colleagues iPad for much more than its
found that participants true value to earn a bonus.
Choose from these programs rated extremely happy Choosing between two
individuals as more naïve buyers to negotiate with,
than moderately happy most participants picked
individuals. Such infer- the very happy-looking
ences may lead people to one—the one they rated as
try to take advantage: One easier to exploit.

Mindfulness & Education Conference


Timothy P. Shriver, PhD, Jennifer Buffet,
Daniel Goleman, PhD, and More

Loving What Is | Byron Katie

“Science tells us…there is a strong connection


between emotional well-being and health outcomes,
and that you can proactively cultivate emotional well-
being through relatively simple practices like sleep,
social connection, and meditation.”

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES


Unleash Your Super Memory: Vivek Murthy, US Surgeon General in the New York Times
A Brain Performance Training | Jim Kwik

When Narcissists Won’t Forgive


Narcissists often won’t them. Among participants
forgive people who cross tending toward arrogant,
them. Curious if having self-defensive narcissis-
more clarity about one’s tic behavior, the lack of
A Silent Retreat Inquiring Into emotions about a wrong- forgiveness was stronger
the Heart of Mindfulness & doer would mollify or rein- in those who responded
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction force this unforgivingness, more quickly—indicating
Saki F. Santorelli, EdD, MA German psychologists greater clarity—in rating
Florence Meleo-Meyer, MS, MA asked 1,041 adults to recall their feelings about the
Bob Stahl, PhD a time when someone hurt transgressor. ●

Research gathered from Greater Good Science Ctr. at UC Berkeley, Ctr. for
Healthy Minds at U of Wisconsin–Madison, Ctr. for Mindfulness at UMass
Rhinebeck, NY • Just 90 miles north of New York City Medical School, and American Mindfulness Research Association.
Explore more at eOmega.org or call 800.944.1001

14 mindful June 2017


culture

Mindful–Mindless
Our take on who’s paying attention and who’s not

Beth and Dave Cutlip, Working with Toys Like


co-owners of South- Me, a UK initiative that
side Tattoo parlor in adapts toys to rep-
Baltimore, set aside resent disability and
time to cover up harm- difference, students at
ful tattoos for free. Roanoke College fitted
Many of their cus- toys with hearing aids
tomers got inked with to donate to kids with
Litknitbits is an Etsy gang signs, swastikas, Peaceful Cuisine, hearing loss, so they Ruby Cup sells silicone
shop that buys and and other offensive a YouTube cooking can see themselves menstrual cups—a
sells high-quality symbols in their youth, channel from Japan, reflected in their play. durable, ecologically
knitted goods made by and the Cutlips want abandons the friendly alternative to
senior women living in to help them put their cacophony of your pads and tampons—
poverty or alone. The past in the past. average food show. and for each one sold,
page reads: “We pay Each episode walks it donates one to a girl
them generously, visit through a single in East Africa, where
them and provide an recipe, often without periods are taboo and
opportunity to still feel any soundtrack but limited access to men-
needed and participate the soothing sounds of strual products results
in the society.” slicing and dicing. in their missing school.

mindful
mindless

Yes, mistakes are part Who’d have thought a Jerry Seinfeld once
of life (see page 8), but viral story could get a asked, “What’s the
this year Columbia person to spend nearly deal with airplane
University made a $100,000 on one piece peanuts?” Apparently,
pretty bad one: The of junk food? eBay their deal is that they
school sent acceptance user “valuestampsinc” take precedence over
notices to 277 people is who. The auctioneer passengers. A family of
who had not, in fact, At an upscale gro- made $99,900 on a four was kicked off an
been accepted to the cery store in Hong “RARE - One of a Kind” American Airlines flight
Ivy League institution. Kong you can buy a Cheeto resembling because two of them
Imagine having to single strawberry— Harambe, the gorilla were allergic, even
break that bad news. shipped in from whose killing made A man dressed in an though they had their
Japan and presented headlines in 2016. Angry Birds costume own food and offered
in a styrofoam ring didn’t just dress the to sign a waiver. ●
on a bed of straw part. He played the
paper inside a gift part. When someone
box—for $22, in what walking past him on
you might call peak the street commented
extravagance (and on his costume, he
peak wastefulness). attacked the stranger,
causing serious, albeit
Suggestions for Mindful–Mindless? non-life-threatening,
Send them to mfml@mindful.org injuries.

16 mindful June 2017 Illustrations by Jessica Rae Gordon


“mindfulness is not just
about meditation.
mindfulness is the gateway
to a free and joyful heart.”
SUMMER 2017
— Jack Kornfield,
Founder, Spirit Rock Meditation Center HIGHLIGHTS
retreats
august 18-20
Cultivating Compassion—
3-day, non-residential retreat
nikki mirghafori

sep 14-17
Insight Meditation for
the Curious— 3-night,
residential retreat
mark coleman, diana winston

daylong programs
july 23
Cultivating a Compassionate
Heart during Troubling Times
sharda rogell, sakti rose

august 13
Real Love: The Art of
Mindful Connection
sharon salzberg
Also available as a live webcast

august 26
spiritrock.org Loving What Is

Spirit Rock
byron katie
Also available as a live webcast

An Insight Meditation Center Spirit Rock Meditation Center,


5000 Sir Francis Drake Blvd.,
Woodacre, California | (415) 488-0164
brain science

True, False, or Hmm?


The latest findings in psychology—about our deep-seated thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors—get a lot of media attention. Unfortunately,
they often turn out to be flawed or false.

Sharon Begley is Whether you are an avid reader of psychol- a “replication crisis,” meaning that when a second
senior science writer ogy news or just a casual one, you’ve probably lab tries to reproduce research findings, the exact
with STAT, a new
run across a plethora of fascinating findings same experiment produces different results.
national health and
medicine publication. about human behavior, thought, and emotion. In 2015, for instance, the first round of attempts
She is also author This barrage of findings isn’t surprising. Unlike by the “Reproducibility Project” to redo 100
of Train Your Mind, studies in, say, molecular biology, psychology prominent studies got the same results as the
Change Your Brain
and Can’t Just Stop:
research has a lower barrier to entry: Plan your original for only one-third. That doesn’t mean
An Investigation of experiment, get funding and approval, recruit what the original researchers reported (that, for
Compulsions (2017, participants (often, handy undergraduates, or example, students learn more effectively if they’re
Simon & Schuster).
even volunteers in cyberspace), and you’re good taught in the “learning style” that matches theirs)
to go. No complicated cell cultures or care-in- didn’t really happen. It could simply be that what
ILLUSTRATION BY MINDFUL STAFF

tensive lab animals required. was true for the participants isn’t true of many, or
Unfortunately, consumers of psychology even most, other people.
research—all of us who find it captivating, even The replication crisis made me look back
revelatory, because it tells us about how we are over my columns for Mindful to see if I’ve misled
put together—would do well to be as critical as the you, however inadvertently. So far, I’ve been
many Amazon customers who carefully scruti- lucky (and I emphasize lucky: I don’t claim any
nize their order and send back anything that falls superior ability to sniff out problematic find-
short. Why? Because psychology is in the midst of ings): I was glad to see that I warned against →

18 mindful June 2017


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brain science

RESEARCH believing the wilder claims about mirror effect. They called the evidence “too weak to
Not Myths neurons (my June 2014 column), about biophilia advocate for people to engage in power posing
(August 2015), and about sex differences in the to better their lives.” Lesson: If a claim is based
While many find- brain (February 2016). But I wouldn’t be on results from only a few dozen people, take it
ings in psych stud- surprised if some of the results I described in with a grain of salt, and keep the shaker nearby
ies have turned neuroeconomics (April 2015) and generosity until a larger study replicates it.
out to be mythi- (August 2016) don’t hold up as well.
cal, a number of Scores of claims that have gotten extensive 3 Smiling makes you happy: This one has
cognitive biases— media coverage, and even made their way into been around since at least 1988, when a study
mental shortcuts textbooks, are questionable. I’ve chosen ones reported that holding a pen between the teeth
we use to make that offer some general lessons for consumers of to force a smile (try it) caused people to find
quick decisions— psychology research: cartoons funnier than when they held a pen
have been amply between their lips.
demonstrated. 1 Those learning styles: Although the major- Unfortunately, when 17 independent labs ran
With confir- ity of studies disprove the popular idea that the make-me-smile test with just under 2,000
mation bias, students learn better if the pedagogic technique volunteers, they found no effect of mouth posi-
we seek data to matches their supposed style, the myth persists. tion on how funny people found cartoons. This
support what we That may be because when people try to learn doesn’t mean no one feels happier if something
already believe. something according to what they believe to be forces him to smile; maybe if you force yourself to
Loss aversion their learning style, they feel they have learned smile, without the annoying pencil, you feel a lit-
points to putting the material better—but haven’t, found a 2016 tle happier. But the replication failure does mean
more effort into study in the British Journal of Psychology led by the effect, if any, is too weak to appear reliably in
avoiding losses psychologist Roger Van Horn of Central Mich- large numbers of people. Lesson: If a psycholog-
than making gains. igan University. (Yes, I know every time I cite ical effect that is taken as applying to humans as
They’re discussed research I could be on thin ice. I try to include a species applies only to some of us in some cir-
in a popular new only findings with support from multiple, inde- cumstances, it’s not a legitimate human universal
book by Michael pendent studies.) But the most effective peda- like confirmation bias and loss aversion.
Lewis: The Undo- gogic technique varies according to the type of
ing Project, which material, not the student. Nobel-winning social 4 Finite willpower: This is considered “one
is about two Israeli psychologist and economist Daniel Kahneman of the most influential psychological theories of
psychologists asked, “The question I have is: If your effect is modern times,” as the British Psychological Soci-
whose research so fragile that it can only be reproduced [under ety put it. The idea is that if you draw on your lim-
on bias broke new strictly controlled conditions], then why do you ited store of willpower to, say, resist the dessert
ground. think it can be reproduced by schoolteachers?” cart at lunch, you have less to use when you walk
past a store advertising exactly the shoes you’ve
2 The power stance: Stand with your feet long admired. Dozens of studies have found such
apart and your hands on your hips, or sit with an effect, which is also called “ego depletion,” so it
your legs on a desk. Such a “power pose,” would seem to be robust.
researchers reported in 2010 in Psychological Yet 23 labs studying nearly 2,000 partic-
Science, made their 42 volunteers feel bolder, ipants found that “draining” self-control in
elevated their testosterone levels, decreased one task had “close to zero” effect on people’s
their levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and capacity for self-control in a subsequent task.
increased their tolerance for risk, as shown A separate analysis of 116 studies, in Journal of
by their willingness of make risky bets. The Experimental Psychology, similarly came away
TED talk version is that the power stance can unimpressed. Lesson: If there’s an effect at all
change your life. it’s small, it doesn’t apply to everyone, and could
Alas, when other scientists redid the study even be opposite the one usually claimed. That
in 2015, with five times the participants, they is, exerting self-control in one situation made
found no such effect. And although the original some people better at it in the next one.
scientists protested that 33 other studies found a
power-pose effect, an objective analysis of those 5 The Lady Macbeth Effect, in which people
33 found something quite different: The statis- exposed to, or made to engage in, unethical
Take our pop tics in those 33 are such that they can equally behavior are driven to wash their hands or
psych quiz at support the conclusion that the power stance otherwise clean themselves, as researchers
mindful.org/ has no effect, and hint that researchers deep- reported in 2006 in Science. Strictly speaking,
psychquiz sixed power stance studies that did not find an the claim was based on a lab study in which

20 mindful June 2017


BE MORE
FOCUSED
people copied, by hand, an account of sabotaging
someone and then found products like soap and
toothpaste more desirable than if they had cop-
ied a story about helping someone. Later studies
found that people felt guilty after washing.

AT WORK
Again, when other scientists redid the orig-
inal study they found no such effect. Maybe
some people do have a Lady Macbeth thing
going on, while others didn’t. The more import-
ant lesson here is the need to be cautious in
extrapolating an artificial lab setup (copying a
story, not actually engaging in unethical behav-
ior; rating soap and toothpaste, not actually TRAIN YOUR BRAIN WITH
scouring yourself ) to real life. CORPORATE MINDFULNESS FOR
6 Big Brother watching: A poster of watchful MORE CLARITY, BALANCE, AND JOY
eyes caused people, on the honor system, to chip
in more for coffee than when the walls were
bare. This 48-person 2006 study made head- “The impact of the practices in
lines and influenced public policy, with some
British police departments putting up posters of
this book is truly profound.”
staring eyes in an effort to keep people honest. Linda Nordin, Secretary General,
But in 2011, a redo with 138 people failed to find United Nations Association
a pro-social effect in people being “watched” by
the eyes of a poster.

7 Wear red to attract a mate: Several studies


have reported that men rate women wearing
red as sexier and more attractive than women
wearing other colors, something that scientists
have spun into a “Just So Story” about how
our primate ancestors advertised their sexual
availability. But in a 2016 paper in Evolutionary
Psychology scientists described three experi-
ments with 800 young men (vs. two dozen in the
original study) finding no such effect. Lesson:
Even if there is a weak red effect, it’s a relatively
unimportant influence on how we judge poten-
tial partners—certainly long-term ones, but even
one-night stands.

It’s easy to become cynical about psychol-


ogy, or at least the exciting results that the
media pick up. The general point is not that the
original, dubious claims are wrong. They might
be—heck, they probably are—true for some peo-
ple. Some of us likely do feel bolder in a power
stance. Maybe believing that it can transform
your life in a good way produces changes for
the good that bring that about. For if there is
one psychological effect that has stood the Martin Ström (MSc, Lic Psychologist) is a director
test of time, and countless replications, it is at Potential Project, the world’s top provider of
the placebo effect: that believing in the power corporate mindfulness. He has trained leaders and
of something can make it so. At least for some staff at companies such as Accenture, IKEA, and
people, a little or a lot, in some circumstances 0LFURVRIWDQGFRQGXFWHGRQHRIWKHZRUOGōVƓUVW
some of the time. ● VFLHQWLƓFVWXGLHVRQZRUNSODFHPLQGIXOQHVV

Five star rating on Amazon


June 2017 mindful 21 Order your copy now! bit.ly/imsorry-book
INFO Artichokes
are among the most
antioxidant-rich vegetables
in the grocery store.

Very good source of fiber


ƈ
Very good source of the
probiotic inulin

Source:
Eating on the Wild Side
by Jo Robinson

22 mindful June 2017


LIVING | food

A Tender Heart
Béatrice Peltre takes a moment to appreciate one of her
favorite vegetables: the artichoke.

There’s something intimidating about dip the leaves into and then eat, one
artichokes. Maybe it’s their scale-like by one. It was a slow but rewarding
outer leaves, or the fact that at first process, and by the time we reached
sight they look like something you’d the heart we could truly appreciate its
find among cacti in a desert. Maybe flavor and texture.
it’s because their name features the If you choose not to simply steam
word choke. Yet when you venture artichokes whole like my mother did,
beneath the exterior, you find con- their preparation takes patience—but
cealed within them a soft, buttery the patience pays off. For my stuffed
delight unlike any other—called, fit- artichoke recipe, you remove the
tingly, the “heart.” Just like with most exterior leaves and cut away the hairy
human beings, when you get to the “choke.” You’re left with a meaty, deli-
heart of the artichoke you discover cate vessel, perfect to fill with a layer of
something rather different from what rich creamy hummus and a medley of
you’d have guessed at a glance. vibrant herbs and tender vegetables. ●
Artichokes are one of my favorite
vegetables, but they are something of
a handful. As a kid my mom used to
Recipes, food styling, photographs, and
serve them steamed whole, alongside narrative by Béatrice Peltre. Find more of
a mustardy vinaigrette that we would her work at latartinegourmande.com.
food

GF Gluten-free V Vegan

Artichoke Bottoms with Peas, Carrots,


and Asparagus

Serves 4

8 medium globe artichokes large knife, slice off the remaining


⅓ cup lemon juice leaves so only the base of the
2 tablespoons olive oil + more artichoke remains. Scrape the
to serve hairy choke with a melon baller or
¼ red onion, finely chopped a spoon. Place the artichokes in
1 small leek (light-green parts the lemon water as you go. When
only), finely chopped you've prepared all the artichokes,
2 garlic cloves, peeled and drain and place them in a steamer.
minced Steam for 10 minutes until tender
2 carrots, peeled, and finely when pierced with a sharp knife.
sliced Set aside and keep warm.
2 cups peas (fresh or frozen)
1 teaspoon sugar In a shallow pan, heat the olive
1 sprig tarragon oil then add the onion and leek
3⅓ cups water and cook for 2 minutes. Add
12 asparagus stalks the garlic and continue to cook
1 small head of lettuce, pale for 1 minute. Add the carrots
leaves only and cook for 3 minutes. Add
Sea salt and pepper the peas, sugar, tarragon, and
1 tablespoon chopped mint remaining water, and cook for
1 tablespoon chopped parsley 5 minutes. Add the asparagus
¾ cup natural plain hummus and lettuce leaves, and cook for
2 more minutes. Add the rest of
the herbs, and season with salt
To clean the artichokes: In a and pepper. Place the artichoke
large bowl, combine ¼ cup of bottoms in a serving dish and
the lemon juice with water. Cut spread 1½ teaspoons hummus
the stem off each artichoke and on the base of each. Then spoon
remove the outer tough leaves by in the vegetable mixture. Drizzle
hand, continuing until you reach with the remaining lemon juice
the tender, pale leaves. Using a and olive oil, and serve.

24 mindful June 2017


food

GF Gluten-free

Baby Artichoke and Arugula Salad


with Avocado and Mozzarella

Serves 4

To clean the artichokes:


For the dressing
Combine ¼ cup lemon juice
with 3 cups water in a large
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard bowl. Cut half an inch off the
1 teaspoon honey top of each artichoke, and trim
1 tablespoon chopped chives one inch off the stem. Remove
2 tablespoons apple cider the bottom and outer leaves by
vinegar hand, continuing until you reach
5 tablespoons olive oil the tender, pale-green leaves.
Pepper Using a knife, clean the ragged
areas along the stem. Cut each
artichoke in half lengthwise and
place the halves in the lemon
For the salad water as you go. When they are
all cleaned and cut, drain and pat
¼ cup lemon juice them dry with a kitchen towel.
3 cups water
In a frying pan, heat 2
16 baby artichokes
tablespoons of olive oil. Add the
2 tablespoons olive oil
artichoke halves and cook on each
Sea salt and pepper
side for 3 to 4 minutes, until tender
5 cups baby arugula
when pierced with a fork. Set aside.
6 small mozzarella di Bufala,
halved or quartered
In a small bowl, whisk together
1 avocado, peeled, pitted,
the Dijon, honey, chives, vinegar, 5
and sliced
tablespoons olive oil, and pepper.
3 tablespoons slivered
almonds Place the arugula in a large
salad bowl. Add the cooked
artichokes, mozzarella, avocado,
and almonds. Add the dressing
to the bowl and toss gently.
Serve immediately.

26 mindful June 2017


LIVING | walk the talk

Intimately Mindful
By Victoria Dawson
Photograph by Lever Rukhin

Born in Toronto, to Jamaican parents, The marketing imagery can You work with a pretty diverse
Giselle Jones worked as an actress group. How important is that to you?
in New York City and Hollywood for make certain communities of Very. The marketing imagery can
17 years, then served as the education make certain communities of people
director of a youth literacy group in LA.
people feel like mindfulness feel like mindfulness is a luxury
She’s now a psychotherapist in private is a luxury only for rich only for rich white people, or that
practice who treats people with mental it’s not applicable to their own lives.
health and relationship issues including white people, or that it’s not To say “just bring yourself into the
sexual anxiety, trauma, and addiction. present moment and everything
applicable to their own lives. is going to be hunky-dory” is not
How did you first come helpful for school kids afraid of being
to meditation? How do you use it in your work? targeted by gangs. But when you
In 2012, while at UCLA getting my Here’s one example: At a weekly do bring mindfulness interventions
master’s degree in social work, I did women’s intimacy group that I facil- in—though I might not label them
an internship at a school in the Watts itate at the Center for Healthy Sex, as “mindfulness”— some people are
neighborhood. On day one, the school before starting we all sit in a brief like, “This really helps.”
shut down for race-related fighting meditation to let us arrive and disarm The diversity issue was partly what
and thieving of computers, and I had and feel safe enough to be vulnerable compelled me to get my certification
teachers tossing me students. in each other’s presences. Mindful- as a mindfulness facilitator. I really
As I got to know them, kids would ness practice is not only a tuning fork appreciated that a significant part of
disclose sexual abuse and other for what’s going on in the room but my training there was dedicated to
traumatic experiences, and then they can also enable us to show up with as cultural humility and high inclusive-
would leave the room, and I would few defenses as possible. ness on diversity issues.
hold my head and cry. But as a UCLA
student, I was able to attend, for free, You deal with people who have You also do some volunteer work.
a daylong course in mindfulness med- sexual anxiety issues. How does Who participates?
itation with Dr. Marvin Belzer at the mindfulness help? Some of the regulars are homeless,
Mindful Awareness Research Center. I sometimes give a homework exercise with PTSD or anxiety or depres-
And I really fell in love with it. It was called sensate focus therapy, created sion. One woman who identified as
delicious for me. by Masters and Johnson in the ’60s. It’s transient told me that the meditation
a way of pulling intimacy all the way has really helped with her anxiety.
Delicious? Can you explain back to the beginning, with touch—and Another homeless participant had
what you mean? make that a mindfulness exercise. been targeted by street violence
I got to see how much my body was One partner receives the touch- because of being transgender. I think
speaking to me. I’ve always been very ing and the other is the giver, whose mindfulness is a path toward being
physically oriented: I identify emotions task is to do a slow, slow exploration. able to inhabit your own body in a
in my body before I know what they What does it feel like to smell behind way that feels safe.
are in my thoughts. Learning through this person’s ear? How can you take
mindfulness to not shy away from that 20 minutes to explore this person’s What do you get out of it?
intensity, but to actually pay attention hand? Both partners pay attention to I never, ever, ever, ever leave feeling
to it, allows us to tolerate our inten- their own responses, and the person anything but filled by the experi-
sity, the intensity of being human. The receiving can say what’s working for ence. When we end, there’s a sense
practice helped me to stay present in them or not. Such exploration can be of community, a thread that seems to
my sessions with the kids and in the really liberating and actually increase run through the entire room, which
social work I was learning and doing, desire. It’s all about slowing it down I like to call love, or life. And I get to
without collapsing. so the intimacy comes in. be part of that. ●

28 mindful June 2017


Giselle Jones
Social Worker and
Psychotherapist
Los Angeles, CA
LIVING | how to live a mindful life

Break the Chains


How to finally get rid of those pesky
old habits that no longer serve you.

By Kelle Walsh

Habit-making is simply When an urge is satis- When we understand


what our brains do. They’re fied—whether for sooth- how a habit forms, we have
designed to create neural ing, attention, or any other a greater chance of catching
pathways that provide the response—we experience it in the act, and take steps
It’s your best results. So, when a a rush of dopamine, the to make a more considered
desire triggers a reaction neurochemical associated choice, says addiction psy-
brain that in turn satisfies that with feeling good. After a chiatrist Judson Brewer.
initial urge, the brain takes few blasts of dopamine, we Think about a nagging
note. The next time that start to crave more, which habit. Next time you feel
desire arises, the brain then drives us to indulge in moved to act it out, see if
calls up the circuitry that the triggering behavior, be you can trace each step.
got the job done before. it eating fast food, check- Can you see how the habit
Part of this is neurochem- ing your phone, or lighting reinforces itself?
Kelle Walsh is Mindful’s Midwest istry, says psychologist and up a cigarette. Voila! You
Contributing Editor. author Elisha Goldstein. have a habit.

30 mindful June 2017 Illustrations by Colleen MacIsaac


how to live a mindful life


Will, want, won’t
Habit-making is
what our brains do.

Recognizing the patterns “Willpower is the ability
of our habits—the trigger, to align yourself with the
the impulse, the brain’s brain system that is think-
learned way to satisfy ing about long-term goals—
that need—is just part of that is, thinking about big
the process of unwinding values rather than short-
them. There also needs to term needs or desires,” she
be an intention to do things told TED blog. “So, I can
differently, tied to some- feel the emotion, I can feel
thing that deeply matters the craving, and at the very Remember HALT
to you. Or as Stanford same time, I just make my
University health psy- awareness big enough to
chologist and author of The hold my commitment to When you get clear on flight mode, where we start
Willpower Instinct Kelly make a different choice. your want—the deeply operating from the most
McGonigal says, it means Your ability to hold those personal reason for want- primitive parts of the brain
identifying the “I want” opposites is what gives ing to make a habit change and nervous system. In this
power that will reinforce [you] willpower over time.” (hint: “I should” isn’t one mode, some of the rational
your “I won’t” power. of them)—then begins the parts of our brain shut down,
work of strengthening decreasing our ability to think
your ability to choose dif- and reason through things, or
ferently (aka, willpower). even consider the long-term
But as anyone who has consequences of our actions.
tried to diet or commit When your emotions are
to exercise knows, sabo- running high, take a few slow,
teurs to our will abound. mindful breaths to quiet the
This is when psychologist nerves and activate your more
Christopher Willard rec- rational brain.
ommends employing the
acronym HALT. Lonely: When we tell other
people about a commitment
HALT to change a habit, we’re far
When you feel willpower more likely to follow through.
slipping, Willard suggests, ask Introvert or extrovert, we
yourself if you’re feeling any all need to strike a balance
of the following: between solitude and
socializing. Consider what
Hungry: Impulse control is the best balance for
involves a complex dance you, and share your goals
between the prefrontal cortex only as widely as you feel
and the hippocampus, with comfortable.
a little help from other parts
of the brain also involved Tired: When we’re tired,
in foresight and decision- our self-control and willpower
making. Any shortage of slip away, an effect known
calories will short-circuit as “ego-depletion.” (A poor
this hub of activity, making night’s sleep can even
it difficult to activate your knock you down a few IQ
willpower. points.) Establishing healthy
sleep habits is not only
Angry/Anxious: When we integral to your self-care,
feel angry or anxious our it’s also essential for your
bodies can slip into fight-or- deeper goals.
Try compassion

Research shows that when Hauck. “Criticism makes


we criticize ourselves, it us feel more anxious, more
actually short-circuits depressed, and more afraid
the brainpower we need of failure.”
to unwind old habits and If you regularly tell
adopt new ones. Criticism yourself you “can’t” or that
(self or external) causes you’re not enough in some
the same fight-or-flight way, try using a more com-
impulse, limiting access to passionate and understand-
the higher functions of the ing tone instead. Once we
brain, like being able to see can be compassionate in our
the bigger picture, explains thinking, we can figure out
life coach and mindful- the next best step to take
ness instructor Carley toward the change we want.

See it, and believe it

Elisha Goldstein reminds the body and tune in to


us that mindfulness helps your breathing, in and out.
build the resilience to resist Staying with the breath,
giving in to urges that fos- watch how the feeling
ter unhealthy habits. grows, peaks, and eventu-
Visualize the circum- ally falls away. In doing
stances that typically trig- this you’re training your
ger an urge. Notice what brain not to engage the
thoughts and feelings arise craving and to recognize
in the body. See if you can the urge as impermanent.
identify where you feel that Start off with this visual-
urge physically, but don’t ization, and then bring it
engage it. Instead, relax into the rest of your life. ●

PARTING THOUGHT

Over time habits can become so ingrained that we start


to believe them, says author of The Here-and-Now
Habit, Hugh Byrne. If you often lose your temper, you
might tell yourself, “I’m an angry person.” If you smoke,
you might say, “I can’t quit.”
But internalizing habits only perpetuates the behav-
ior and limits your ability to see a different possibility.
The next time one of your habit-derived identities pops
up, challenge it. Ask yourself, Is this really true? Is it true
that “I’m an angry person” or “I don’t have the willpower
to quit”? Or is this a belief or storyline I’ve developed
that isn’t solid, is not “me,” and can be let go of?

June 2017 mindful 33


PRACTICES | inner wisdom

The Power of Solitude


Spending time alone with ourselves may
not be easy or even desirable. But it’s key to
getting to know who we really are.

Most of us are afraid to be alone. logical and physiological perks. When Spend enough time by yourself
I’m talkin’ no cell phone, no Wi-Fi we practice anchoring our attention and you’ll notice all kinds of thoughts
alone. When was the last time you to a single focus like the breath, the bubble up and pass away. Hateful
were by yourself and didn’t try to body and nervous system gear down thoughts. Painful thoughts. Fearful
sweeten, avoid, or supercharge the from operating in relentlessly high- thoughts. Our mind is expert at tak-
moment? Were you fearful, anxious, or stress states. Without cortisol and ing bits of information and creating a
hungry for something more? adrenaline pumping you into high storyline. One of those stories is that
We are awash in studies telling us alert your body has better conditions being alone is so terrifying, anything
that we need each other to survive and to relax. In this more peaceful state else is preferable.
to be happy. And it’s true, we do. But you can enjoy a slower pace to look That’s where time and patience
when we lose the ability to be alone around and experience a wider array come in. When you first approach this
with ourselves, our overstimulated of life. You’re able to let go, to not idea it’s natural that you might feel
nervous systems suffer from no place feel afraid to be alone, which means the same aloofness or hesitation you
to rest and recharge. Self-imposed you’re no longer grasping at ways to experience in any new relationship, so
solitude triggered by social anxiety, push away your fear. You can begin to take it slowly. As you train your ability
schizophrenia, or other psychological enjoy what it’s like to be with your- to be alone, without suspicion or dis-
disorders can constitute a health risk, self and feel calm. And as you learn dain, you may begin to relax. Spending
more time with yourself increases
Our mind is expert at taking bits of information and your ability to recognize the forces at
play in your life. When you contem-
creating a storyline. One of those stories is that being plate being alone, what do you feel?
Are you holding your breath? Are you
alone is so terrifying, anything else is preferable. clenching your stomach, right now, or
your jaw? Which emotions are being
says psychiatrist and researcher Dr. to be alone you can learn how to be triggered by your lonely movie? It’s
Mary V. Seeman in a review published brave and honest with how things are OK to have these feelings; you don’t
in 2016 in the journal Psychosis. “But,” right now. If you can cultivate your have to like them.
she writes, “[solitude] can also reap ability to be OK with being alone, you The next time that the tight squeeze
benefits such as recovery of a sense of may come to appreciate that you can of loneliness commands your atten-
self, renewed harmony with nature, create all the conditions you need to tion, let that feeling be your cue: first
escape from sensory overload, stim- be content with yourself and in life. take a breath; develop an
ulation of creativity, or awakening to Sometimes the unfamiliarity of attitude of gentleness and kindness.
spirituality.” being alone can feel awkward, painful, Be present to whatever you are feel-
Mindfulness helps cultivate this or just plain wrong. You may feel like ing. Lean into your sadness, your pain,
beneficial solitude, which has psycho- Groucho Marx, who said that he didn’t your joy. Let yourself be shy as you
want to belong to any club that would gently get to know you. There is noth-
have him as a member. The thought of ing to fear when you come to yourself
Elaine Smookler is a registered
making friends with yourself may feel with an understanding heart. Allow
psychotherapist with a 20-year mindfulness
practice. She is senior faculty at the Centre weak or silly. That’s just another form yourself the freedom to discover how
for Mindfulness Studies. of fear, which has many faces. unlonely being alone can be. ●

34 mindful June 2017 Illustration by Marta Sevilla


Our body is the most direct and
perfect path to profound spiritual
transformation. Through our body,
we connect with the inherent, self-
existing wakefulness that is already
present within it. To discover the
body is to discover awareness.

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2017 - FEBRUARY 11, 2018 About the Program


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Designed for beginning and experienced meditators alike,
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somatic meditation practices.
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W W W. D H A R M A O C E A N . O R G
PRACTICES | work–life balance

Running on Empty?
Every workplace harbors potential drains to
creative energy. Do you recognize yours?

A little quiz: What gives you energy at work?


Odds are strong that an answer quickly sprang
to mind. Maybe it’s collaboration, a new creative 3 Glass-Half- 5 Control
challenge, or an uninterrupted chunk of time to Empty Outlook
focus. Now consider, what drains your energy? This shows up as a com-
Likely a mix of people, places, and scenarios When your focus is always pulsive desire to know
come to mind, since there are so many things that on what’s going wrong, it’s everything and control
sap our energy at work. Why does this matter? downright exhausting. And outcomes. (Hello, micro-
Because our creative and productive energy if you linger in that mindset managing!) When we rely on
is what fuels our best thinking and makes us for too long, it can cause controlling behaviors, we are
feel connected to our jobs. When that energy is hypervigilance (and trust me, likely fearful—either of the
diverted, blocked, or drained away, not only are this is not a productive use of outcome not going our way
we far less effective, we’re usually not very happy. your energy!). Instead, make or of being “exposed” as not
Here are five common energy zappers in the a daily effort to recognize and good enough—both of which
workplace: celebrate what is working. can deplete your energy
This doesn’t mean avoiding by focusing on incomplete
or ignoring the issues and or false data (aka drama).
challenges that need to be You can avoid this drain by
1 Drama 2 Perfection addressed. It means starting allowing the action to occur
with the wins first. as it would naturally, without
You might be attracted to it This is the belief that there’s your interference. Take a step
or you might create it—either no room for mistakes. When back and reflect when you
way its purpose is to distract people feel they’re working in 4 No Boundaries notice the urge to force an
from and avoid unpleasant an environment where their outcome to be what you want
issues. As a way of dealing best is not good enough, it’s Without clear boundaries it to be. Releasing control
with fear or uncertainty (or not only demoralizing, but it about what’s acceptable, doesn’t mean you stop car-
putting off dealing with it), it’s also limits innovation: no one comfortable, and tolerable in ing. It means you are able to
common for people to invent wants to take a risk for fear of your worklife, there’s always see things from many points
“stories” to fill in missing “doing it wrong.” going to be confusion (for you of view and assume everyone
details. For example, people The way to redirect this and for the people dealing means well and is acting with
create their own theories energy is to be honest with you). If you have a family the best of intentions. ●
about why changes are hap- about both what you know commitment on a given day
pening in business strategy and don’t know and what of the week, let the people
or personnel. The next time a your strengths and weak- you work with know, so they
little melodrama comes your nesses are. For example, have context for why you’re
way, try to see the story and “I’m great with content, but not free that day. Setting and
return to the facts. Ask your- I need help with images to communicating boundar-
self, or the people involved, communicate my words for ies—for yourself and for your
“Is this true?” This question presentations.” Letting go of team—lets everyone know
Jae Ellard is the founder of
can interrupt the downward the idea of perfection what is and isn’t expected and
Simple Intentions and author of
drama spiral that can kill pro- and being open to failure is permitted. It keeps the energy a series of books on developing
ductivity and morale. how we learn. flowing in a positive direction. awareness in the workplace.

36 mindful June 2017 Illustration by Jason Lee


SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

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Named for the 1440 minutes in a day,
we are founded on the belief that each
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aware, and mindful of how we connect
with what matters—both within and
around us.

What is a Multiversity?
We believe the deepest learning
happens when people nurture and
awaken all aspects of the self. A
multiversity is designed to encourage
and invite this process to unfold in
each of us—on relational, emotional,
somatic, intellectual, and spiritual levels.

Areas of Study
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Learn and Grow


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Practice and Revitalize


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Upcoming Program Highlights

SEPTEMBER 1 – 3 SEPTEMBER 8 – 15
Gabor Maté, MD Sharon Salzberg,
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R EV I SION IN G T RAUM A ,
THE SCIENCE OF PRACTICE
A D D I CT ION, A N D H E A LIN G
We live in a time when meditation
Once we recognize the roots of
and mindfulness are becoming
addiction and the lack it strives
widespread, teaching us tools
(in vain) to fill, we can develop
for tapping into our capacity for
a compassionate approach
authentic presence, stronger
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SEPTEMBER 15 – 17 OCTOBER 6 - 8
Richard Davidson, PhD, Daniel Siegel, MD,
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C A L M IN G T H E M IN D M IN DS IG H T FOR LEADERS
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We live in a fast-paced, weekend, you will master tools
demanding, and complex world. for sharpening leadership skills,
Meditation offers a reliable way to creating harmony in personal
open our hearts and meet life with and professional relationships,
less anxiety, fear, and suffering. and focusing attention on
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OCTOBER 6 – 9 OCTOBER 13 – 15
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OCTOBER 26 – 29 DECEMBER 8 – 10

ACMHE Conference by the Master Yang Yang, PhD


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PRACTICES | the mindful faq

Am I Doing This Right?


Here’s the latest installment in our ongoing series of
helpful answers to common meditator questions.

I once farted in the meditation room. It was a Is there a trick for getting at that.” Then you can stay
relief, but I was mortified. Everyone laughed. past the voice that says, connected to your intention
What’s the protocol for a thing like that? “You don’t have time to to meditate, which got you
meditate. You don’t need it onto the cushion in the first
So that was you? I always wondered which anyway. Just take it easy.” place. How does this fleeting
poor soul was the source of that scandal- thought—be it when your
ous flatulence. You do realize why everyone You need to start by consid- knee feels sore or the phone
laughed, don’t you? It wasn’t because you’re the ering the source. This is the rings—measure up to the
first one to ever inadvertently let loose with an voice that vacillates between commitment you made to
embarrassing bodily noise, but because we’ve reacting to every arising take good care of yourself
all been there at one time or another. The echo urge and impulse, no matter and cultivate a closer rela-
chamber that is a quiet meditation hall can cer- how fleeting or capricious, tionship with the important
tainly amplify those rumblings in a remarkable and maintaining the comfort things in your life?
way though, huh? and predictability of the True, maybe you really
The truth is that the laughter is an expres- status quo. don’t have time to medi-
sion of common humanity. We’re all human But the funny thing is that tate. But maybe you’re just
and we all have experienced something of the what’s being whispered in having the thought that
sort, and that’s really the point. Embarrass- your ear at these moments of you don’t have the time.
ment is the near end of a spectrum that has doubt or impetuousness are There’s a big difference
shame on the other end. And shame is that feel- really just thoughts. Ran- between the two. When you
ing that if anyone knew a certain thing about dom neuron firings. Brain can see the thoughts as just
us, they wouldn’t love or respect us any more. secretions. They aren’t facts, things to consider and not
And that one unfortunate burst of gas then just ideas to be considered, imperatives, you can make
becomes the “big reveal” of our imperfection as hypotheses to be tested. choices that align with what
a human being. Perhaps you could simply is important to you and not
One could even say that we are actually notice that these thoughts just what seems important
bound together by your humiliating gassiness. are arising. “Oh, I’m having at the moment. Perhaps
We laugh because we truly know your pain and the thought that I don’t need then you can experience the
shame and can relate to it. We aren’t laughing to meditate. Hmm. Look freedom of awareness.
at you, we’re laughing with you.
Of course we’d prefer to be laughing just a Steven Hickman, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and Executive Director
little bit farther away from you in that moment, of both the University of California San Diego Center for Mindfulness and
but even that, like gas itself, will pass. the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

June 2017 mindful 41


the mindful faq

What if I have a really good idea during


meditation? Is it OK to pause to write it down?

When we’re struggling with a thorny issue or


trying to untangle a difficult problem, letting
go of trying and simply settling gently on the
meditation cushion for a period of time often
provides a more relaxed and flexible cognitive
state that allows us to see things from a different
perspective. And, yes, sometimes remarkably When I’m freaking out
clear and unanticipated ideas arise from the about something, I find it
depths of our psyche when we let go of trying. impossible to meditate. I
So, if you need to you can keep a notepad do have a history of panic
nearby when you sit down to meditate, jot down attacks. Any suggestions?
a note, and let yourself rest in knowing that you
have offloaded the idea and can drop back into We’re often susceptible when you’re freaking out?
awareness of the moment. I find that if I try to to inadvertently engag- No. But you may want
preserve a good idea while meditating, I simply ing in what I like to call to try a slightly different
become fully preoccupied and distracted by Strategic Meditation. That approach. Instead of sitting
the idea and its subsequent offspring. Writing it is, because we sometimes very still when your body is
down allows me to let go of it for the moment. attain a degree of calm- feeling agitated and fearful,
I also want to note what is likely NOT to ness when we practice, consider walking mind-
work: meditating in order to solve a problem or we begin to think that we fully or doing yoga with
have a good idea. When we use our meditation should meditate in order to the intention of bringing
practice to achieve a goal, we are destined for change how we feel. Such awareness to your experi-
frustration. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said in Wherever an approach is particularly ence. That may just indulge
You Go, There You Are, “In meditation practice, ineffective and fraught with your agitation enough to
the best way to get somewhere is to let go of danger when we feel highly let you find a rhythm in the
trying to get anywhere at all.” distressed, panicked, or tumult. Let go of trying
depressed. to make the anxiety go
At such times, we’re away and instead see if,
not really meditating. If for a time, you can simply
mindfulness meditation is befriend it and get to know
the allowing or accepting it a bit. Perhaps by letting
of all that is arising in our go of the resistance to
awareness and holding it freaking out, you will find
with kindness and patience that you actually take the
and willingness, then using wind out of its sails.
Strategic Meditation to Letting go of needing
calm down or stop a wave anything to be any different
of sadness represents in this moment is the key to
resistance to our feelings, moving mindfully through
not acceptance. We are difficult situations. It isn’t
adopting a stance of judging easy to do, but when you’re
the feeling as bad or unde- practicing regularly, this
sirable or problematic and stance of letting go becomes
trying earnestly to make it more accessible and easier
stop or go away. The prob- to embrace. Regularly cul-
lem is that trying to make tivating mindfulness when
yourself stop feeling or we aren’t freaking out or
thinking about something anxious will help us when
only tends to make the we are freaked out. If our
problem worse. What you inner “volume” is already
resist, persists. turned down, these difficult
So then should you stop situations don’t provoke us
practicing mindfulness in the same way. ●

42 mindful June 2017


N
EW
99 Ways to
Live a Mindful Life
Simple practices that make a big difference.

99 Ways to Live a Mindful Life


offers expert guidance to help
you bring more mindfulness
into your daily life. Learn simple
tips and techniques you can
use everyday to clear the
mental clutter, reduce stress
and anxiety, and tap into your
happiness and well-being.

Available for a limited


Limited time on newsstands.
Edition

Reserve your copy for home delivery.

www.mindful.org/99ways
how to: posture

Posture Pointers

Take a Seat EYES gaze slightly downward,


4 to 6 feet in front of you. Or
eyes closed.
Find the right meditation
posture for your body CHIN slightly tucked to keep
your cervical spine aligned.

Meditation isn’t only about the SPINE follows natural


mind—it’s also about the body. And curvature—upright, yet natural.
believe it or not, meditation isn’t
meant to be physically uncomfort- SITTING BONES are centered
able. Getting your posture right is key and stable—not perched too far
to staying relaxed and alert instead forward or spread too far back.
of tense or spaced out. Without that,
it’s nearly impossible to focus on the ARMS parallel to the torso,
present moment. palms fall naturally on the thighs.
Chances are that when you start,
meditation will feel a little awkward KNEES below hips, with legs
or uncomfortable. That’s okay. Find- loosely crossed.
ing the ideal meditation posture and
seating arrangement can take a while.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach—
it takes time to familiarize yourself
with the subtleties of your unique
body. We offer the basic guidelines
to help you get started or make
some tweaks.

Cover Your Bases

If you’re planning a longer session (30+ minutes),


it pays to come prepared. Here’s our list of
essentials: a glass of water, shawl or blanket,
warm socks, timer or clock.

44 mindful June 2017


TIPS
Sitting
in a
Chair
Seat Spine Legs
KEEP YOUR STAY STRAIGHT FIND THE
BUTT CENTERED AND RELAXED RIGHT HEIGHT

KNEES
DON'T There are two BELOW
PERCH!
main ways the HIPS!

spine gets out


of whack during
meditation: arch-
ing or slouching.
When you have There are many reasons to
more than a nat- meditate in a chair: it can be
ural arch, things easier on the knees for those
stiffen and strain, with joint pain; it’s convenient
and the mind is when traveling; most people
If your seat isn’t more likely to get have access to a chair even
comfortable, the frantic. On the If your knees if they don’t have room for
rest of your body flipside, it’s hard are above your a cushion. If you do use a
will likely tense to feel present and thighs, your hips, chair, resist the urge to rely
up, which makes alert when you're back, and neck too much on the chair’s back,
meditating pretty slouched, your will strain. For unless you really need to.
difficult all around. hands are sliding the long-legged Doing so can cause you to let
Keep your butt off your knees, and among us, this your spine go soft, making
in the center of your chin is down. could mean your breathing less open and
the cushion or To align your finding a higher inviting distraction and dis-
chair—if you’re too spine, drape your cushion. comfort. And be sure to keep
far forward your body forward, then your feet flat on the floor. This
spine will arch to slowly straighten may mean placing something
compensate; if up, feeling each under your feet if the chair is
you’re too far back vertebra stack as Resting too high off the ground.
it’ll curve forward. you go.
When you first
Pose
RELAX
sit down, rock YOUR
back and forth BACK!

on your sitting It’s OK to take


bones to loosen a break from
up and find solid your meditation
ground. From posture, especially
there, the rest of during longer
your posture will sessions. Try
more easily fall the resting pose
into place. pictured, bringing
your knees to your
chest, curving your
spine forward.

Seating Options

Meditation benches Rectangular cushions, or Round cushions, or zafus,


allow you to sit in a gomdens, are good for are used for cross-legged
relaxed kneeling sitting cross-legged, and sitting or, placed on their
position while keeping come in various heights side, between the legs, for
your posture aligned. and degrees of firmness. a kneeling posture. ●

Photograph by Michael Piazza, Illustrations by Annick Gaudreault June 2017 mindful 45


mind–body

meditation
on foot PHOTOGRAPH BY PLAINPICTURE/AURORA PHOTOS/LESLIE PARROTT

Leave your FitBit and pump-up music at


home, and try out mindful running. This
fresh approach to fitness tunes you in to
your mind as well as your body. The result
is a whole new experience of fitness.

By Alan Green

46 mindful June 2017


T
he vernal equinox is still more
than five weeks away, but on this
mid-February morning there’s nev-
ertheless a benign, early-spring-like
coolness enveloping the woods where my run
begins. I’ve pounded out thousands of miles
on this lakeside footpath, and over those many
years my haphazard approach has been as
likely to leave me dreading my training as earn
me age-group awards. But today I’m relying on
some experts in running mindfully in hopes of
making this routine more beneficial to both my
mind and body. Unfortunately, there are some
stumbles right out of the blocks.
I have been encouraged, for example, to ditch
my GPS watch and heart-rate monitor as a first
step toward focusing on the process of running
rather than on the outcome—a strategy to help
me stay both relaxed throughout and grounded
in the present moment. Impossible, I decide:
Every New Year’s Day I reset my goal of logging
a thousand miles, and because a knee injury
already has me behind schedule, I’m loath to
forgo the spoils of today’s effort. So I compro-
mise by hiding my devices beneath a sleeve and
vow to keep them covered—a pointless scheme,
it turns out, since my watch announces both
mile splits and heart-rate spikes with vibrations
that sabotage my intentions.
I have also been instructed to try inhaling
and exhaling exclusively through my nose, since
deep, controlled breathing into the lower lungs
activates the parasympathetic nervous system
and, in so doing, fosters relaxation. But I fool-
ishly ignore the advice to ease into this advanced
practice with a walking pace and then, if possi-
ble, an easy jog, so by the half-mile mark I feel
as if I’m struggling to inhale through a couple of
pinched cocktail straws. At one point, in fact, I
feel so oxygen-deprived I imagine my face has
turned the color of my electric-blue Sauconys.
I do have some success, however. I main-
tain at least sporadic awareness of my adjusted
form (back straight, core engaged), and I keep a
purposefully slow and steady pace from start to
finish, effectively squelching my usual tempta-
tion to just let it rip. I stop briefly to chat with
a friend not seen for months, whom I might
have otherwise blown by with a shouted excuse
about having to beat the clock. I abstain from
my absurd habit of speeding up when runners
approach from the opposite direction so I don’t
appear to be slow-footing it. I make repeated →

June 2017 mindful 47


mind–body

mental notes to check in on how my body and Wellness, leads women’s trail-running expedi-
brain are feeling. And as I pass the halfway tions around the globe, puts it this way: “Mind-
point of the 6.5-mile run, I finally manage to ful running is the practice of fully immersing
breathe nasally for a stretch and, perhaps as a yourself in the present-moment experience of
result, relax into the flow. running and its immediate effects on your mind
But following my cool-down I bump into and body, free from judgment, self-conscious-
my training partner, who blindsides me with ness, or self-doubt.”
a suggestion that we run an early-spring Fish, an accomplished distance runner who
half-marathon, six weeks before our usual first now instructs everyone from back-of-the-pack
long race. I fear I won’t be prepared, given my novices to ultra-distance warhorses, says that
knee problems, but the idea of not being able intense competition was what motivated her
to keep up with him is so unsettling I all but early in life, but the stress that came with the
agree. And because he’ll see my just-completed loss of a loved one, the birth of a child, and a
painful autoimmune disease took such profound
physical and psychological tolls that mindful
running became a necessity. “I can only run
if I listen to my body,” she says, “and running
The Experts Say mindfully is the method by which I tune in to
my body’s signals and run my best given how I
“Mindful running is the practice feel any given day.”
Although Fish also practiced meditation, it
of fully immersing yourself in the took a back seat to running until she suffered a
present-moment experience of running bout of extreme exhaustion. Even then, how-
ever, she found sitting on the cushion to be
and its immediate effects on your mind challenging.
and body, free from judgment, self- “But then I discovered how running actually
consciousness, or self-doubt.” creates the ideal circumstances in which to
practice meditation,” she says. “Synching move-
ELINOR FISH ment with breath, focusing the mind on a single
point (such as the trail ahead), and aligning the
spine to allow flow of energy are just some of the
ways running creates the coherence in the body
that supports present-moment awareness.
“Making this my practice dramatically
workout when I post it online, I sheepishly reduced my stress and made running sus-
make excuses for my absurdly slow time. tainable given my health challenges, so I’m
Later that day, I begin to feel foolish for extremely thankful. I do now have a seated
having offered apologies for my performance. meditation practice, too, but this was easier to
But I have been instructed, just as in meditation adopt after only doing mindful running for a
classes, to be kind to myself and to not judge my while first.”
results. So I let those feelings go and remind Other runners, she adds, have told her that
myself that a thousand miles begins with a sin- running mindfully has also been their “gateway
gle step, or even with a misstep. drug” to seated meditation. Conversely, veteran
meditators are particularly open to mindful run-
ning, as they find it easier to focus on the expe-
In addition to keeping the body relaxed and rience of running than on the quest for faster
tall (imagine your head being pulled gently aloft times, awards, recognition, and the like.
Alan Green is a by a sky-high rope), and letting deep, controlled But like meditation, learning to run mindfully
veteran investigative nasal breaths dictate the pace, the mechanics of can prove frustrating for some. Michael San-
reporter in mindful running are largely indistinguishable dler, who coaches people in both, suggests that
Washington, DC,
whose books include
from running as we know it. What’s different is beginners start with mindful walking, taking
Animal Underworld: that this approach to navigating the trails and gentle, easy breaths as they go. “If it does turn
Inside America's the tracks is done in a way that both approxi- into a jog,” he says, “there should be no judg-
Black Market for Rare
mates and complements seated meditation. ment or competition. Just move and have fun.”
and Exotic Species.
He ran his first Mindful running educator Elinor Fish, whose “I have a saying with my runners: 'Kind,
marathon in 1987. Colorado-based company, Run Wild Retreats + gentle, easy, good,'” he adds. “I advise them to be

48 mindful June 2017


more present, to listen to their breath, to be kind
to themselves, and not beat themselves up. I tell
The Right Route
them to forget about pace and just start running.”
One of the great joys of running is the time and space it gives
you to just be with yourself. There’s nothing else to do, or
Learning to run mindfully, particularly for really, to even think about. Of course, you can load running, like
less-experienced runners, is probably better anything else, with all sorts of goals and other busyness. But to
done individually than as part of a group. That’s truly experience mindfulness while running, the most important
because one key to success is finding a rhythm thing is to let running itself be the goal without any other needs
that harmonizes your breath—deep, controlled attached to it.
belly breathing, as in yoga or meditation—with There are two fun ways to practice this.
the cadence of your feet, and in a group there’s
always the temptation to keep pace with the
leaders. Moreover, some group members may Just…Run! Plan Your Run
want to chatter as they go, potentially distract-
ing others from tuning in to bodily sensations, Truly give yourself over to the Set up some basic param-
taking stock of emotions, checking in on form, experience of running just for eters—a preplanned route,
and otherwise cultivating the focus and sense running’s sake, with no other a set amount of time—and
of presence that this routine can produce. agenda. This will mean going within those, fully embrace
On the other hand, many find that group runs whichever way your desire the experience without the
can instill a sense of community, camaraderie, tells you to go, listening to worry of having to make any
and motivation to keep at it, even when no words your body to determine your other decisions. You won’t
are exchanged. In that way, these sessions can speed and the distance you need to wonder if you should
be very much like group meditation. travel, and remaining alert turn left or right at the end
Given such potential upside, some runners and curious to all that’s going of the road, for example,
have hatched efforts to expand Mindful Mon- on within and outside of you. because your route is already
days to include group efforts. Among them is decided. Instead, tune
Diana Gorham, who’s general manager of Two º TRY THIS inward, to your breath, the
Rivers Treads, a popular running store in the See if you can take note warmth spreading through
panhandle of West Virginia. Gorham ran her of things as you run that your muscles, how the energy
first marathon in the fall of 2006 and earned perhaps you haven’t noticed travels up through your legs,
an impressive age-group 5th place. After that, before. How many different hips, and back with each
she says, running became more about the rac- kinds of trees are there? What step. Let your inner experi-
ing than the training, as she doggedly pushed about birdsong? Is the side- ence of running come alive
herself to the limit in hopes of recording better walk more even in some spots in Technicolor.
times. In 2011 she graduated to “ultras” (i.e., and more cracked in others?
races greater than the traditional 26.2-mile º TRY THIS
marathon), her longest a 100-mile trail race in º TIP Notice your predominate foot-
August of 2014 that had her on the rain-soaked Make sure you have plenty strike pattern. Do you lead
course for more than 27 hours. of water, an extra layer of with your right foot or your
But something changed, she says, on the heels clothing, and maybe a $10 left? Follow this for a while
of that effort: She realized that there’s more to bill tucked into your running with your awareness, then,
running than logging endless miles in pursuit shorts, just in case. Oh, and do the opposite. Intentionally
of racing acclaim, and as a result her punishing you might want a map or cell lead with the other foot, and
training schedule gave way to a yoga practice, phone if you think you might see what happens.
guided meditation, and exploration of her wander beyond your ability to
spiritual side. Her new routine includes about find your way home. º TIP
three short runs a week, all done with a greater Just like in seated meditation,
appreciation of her environment and the rest of try keeping your focus on
the running experience. one thing at a time. Use the
Last February, Gorham launched her Mindful footstrike method mentioned
Mondays running (and walking) group in hopes above, or the sound and feel
of fostering a like-minded community. She says of your breathing. Let the
she may someday race again, as she once relished rhythm still any other noise in
all the trappings of joining friends in preparing your mind.
for competition. But more important to her is a →

June 2017 mindful 49


Catch Your Breath
3 popular breathing methods to use while
running. Try each one and pick your favorite.

1 2
NASAL BREATHING MOUTH BREATHING
If you’ve done yoga, you’ve This is the most efficient way
likely done diaphragmatic of getting the large amounts
nasal breathing, where the of oxygen needed under exer-
diaphragm is engaged while tion. Runners usually naturally
breathing deeply and slowly adopt a rhythmic breathing
only through your nose. The pattern focused on exhalation
technique is used to focus the through the mouth.
mind and trigger the relax-
ation response. The same
thing happens when you
breathe through your nose 3
while running slowly, as in
mindful running. Plus, nasal
breathing warms and filters ALTERNATING BREATHING
the air before it travels into Whether you breathe through
your lungs, which is a boon your nose or your mouth,
for running in cold, low- alternating your exhale-
humidity climates. But it’s to-footstrike pattern can
difficult, if not impossible, to wake you from the hypnosis
maintain nasal breathing as of a repeated rhythm and
PHOTOGRAPH BY PLAINPICTURE/LANCASTER

you increase your speed and according to one study, may


your body requires greater help prevent running injury.
levels of oxygen than your Instead of a 2:2 pattern,
nose can handle. where you inhale for two
footstrikes and exhale for two,
try a 3:2 pattern, inhaling for
three strikes and exhaling for
two. (If you’re naturally fast,
you may want to adjust this
to a 2:1 pattern.)
mind–body

co-embrace of running and spirituality. “Now I But where I went wrong was to ignore advice
BOOKS The
want to do what will feed my soul,” she says. about tuning in to my bodily sensations. As a Experts
Sara Hunter, a marriage and family therapist result, my intermittent knee pain escalated Say
in Washington, DC, had an entirely different along with my eagerness to keep testing this
motivation for starting her Monday Morning new approach to running, until I finally decided
Mindfulness Running Group (RunDCTherapy. that I was teetering on serious injury. So for “I have a saying
com). In her local-government work with high- a few days I ran with a flotation belt in a tiny with my runners:
risk adolescents ensnared by the juvenile justice indoor pool, using these same mindful tech- 'Kind, gentle, easy,
system, she found that many who were unwill- niques as a way to throttle the usual boredom good.' I advise
ing to say much in a traditional therapy setting and monotony of this slug’s-pace running. them to be more
opened up when she took them outside for a And to my surprise, it made a real difference. present, to listen to
walk or to shoot hoops (Hunter played college Whereas this seemingly endless back-and-forth their breath, to be
basketball and is a dedicated runner with one exercise always had me eyeballing the clock, kind to themselves
marathon to her credit). this time around I managed to appreciate the and not beat
That was the inspiration for a less formal sensation of being suspended in the soothing themselves up. I
approach to therapy, which gives clients the water; I marveled at my ability to effortlessly
tell them to forget
opportunity to ease into their sessions with a whirl like a top an inch from the wall; I focused
about pace and
walk or run. The positive feedback that novel on my breath, just as I would have if running
just start running.”
arrangement generated—both from those clients my familiar lakeside path; I gawked at the ducks
and from colleagues—in turn propelled forward and the geese and the final, slow fade of sunlight MICHAEL SANDLER
her long-simmering idea to launch the mindful through the windows at the far side of the pool.
running group, which she always envisioned as And when my attention faded and boredom
a community activity rather than a purely thera- sneaked up, I reminded myself that this repet- “Our culture has
peutic experience. itive activity had a useful purpose: Because I differentiated our
“Our culture has differentiated our minds and was clearly pushing my heart rate to a moderate minds and bodies,
bodies, when they’re so interconnected,” she training zone, I was maintaining some of the when they’re so
says. “I want this to be a way to create com- aerobic excellence (the “base”) I’d been develop- interconnected,”
munity around a common interest. It’s another ing on the treadmill and, more recently, on my she says. “I want
component of what I value: It’s a gateway to outdoor winter runs. this to be a way to
exploring wellness.” In short, although this exercise hardly mea- create community
sured up to the experience of an outdoor run, I around a com-
knew that paying attention to my body this way mon interest. It’s
Since my maiden attempt at running mind- would likely insure that I wouldn’t be sidelined another com-
fully, my follow-up sessions—all done with- for long. What’s more, there’s no question that ponent of what I
out a watch, headphones, or other electronic even this sort of running pays physical, cogni-
value: It’s a gate-
devices—posed their own challenges and tive, and emotional dividends, all of which are
way to exploring
offered their own rewards. Nasal breathing enhanced by my doing it mindfully.
wellness.”
remained the heaviest sledding, so I began In fact, Sakyong Mipham, a veteran mara-
sessions with a quarter-mile walk, breathing in thoner and author of Running with the Mind SARA HUNTER
through the nose and out through the mouth. of Meditation, says there’s such a natural,
Then I stepped it up to an easy jog, and when supportive relationship between running and
my body and brain finally adjusted to this rou- meditation that it’s not a matter of choosing
tine, I tried redirecting exhales back through between them.
my nose. When/if that felt comfortable (it never “The practice of running with the mind of
did on hills or trails), I amped up the pace a bit meditation is about synchronizing the mind
in hopes of attuning my breath to something and body,” he told me. “While the practice of
that felt like real running. mindfulness can help anyone in any walk
At the same time, I managed to stay in touch of life, it can also provide a gateway to
with my emotions and maintain good form. I the mind of meditation, which has the
dismissed the idea of matching the efforts of potential to go much deeper. Synchro-
other runners, and instead tried measuring my nizing the power of the mind with Find more mindful
success only in terms of having done something the physicality of running can unlock running resources
of value for my body and brain. I remained aware this depth in a holistic and grounded at mindful.org/
of tuning out negative thoughts and staying in way. That is to say, we will begin to see mindfulrun
the present moment. I took repeated note of my benefit in every aspect of our life.” ●
surroundings and maintained an easy pace.

June 2017 mindful 51


breathing space

PHOTOGRAPH BY PAFF/STOCKSY

52 mindful June 2017


“In joy or sadness
flowers are our
constant friends.”
OKAKURA KAKUZŌ

February
June 2017 mindful 53
PHOTOGRAPH BY GETTY IMAGES/ANDY RYAN
creativity

the mind
set free
Hugh Delehanty embarks on a creativity and
mindfulness retreat, where he discovers that the key
to being creative is to strip away all but the essentials
of who and what you are.

June 2017 mindful 55


creativity

“I think I’m going


to shoot myself,”
I screamed in exasperation.

Hugh Delehanty
“Why?” asked art teacher Barbara Kaufman “Let’s turn this into a learning experience,”
is a former editor for in a soft, melodic voice. says Barbara, trying to calm me down. “Why did
Sports Illustrated, “Look at what I’ve done with that blue paint!” you start to paint over the gray?”
People, Utne Reader,
and AARP The
I replied, pointing to my sad painting of a Bud- “I thought it was looking too dark,” I replied.
Magazine, and dha looking like an emaciated Project Runway “So that’s when the judgment came in. I think
coauthor with NBA model. “It’s a disaster!” there’s some muddiness inside of you. You don’t
coach Phil Jackson of I thought I knew something about painting trust your first instinct. You have to edit it and
the bestseller Eleven
Rings. He reported
when I signed up for this retreat on creativity paint it over and you end up with a muddy pic-
on Louisville mayor and mindfulness at the Spirit Rock meditation ture. You need to go with what’s emerging and
Greg Fischer's center in Northern California. After all, I’d stud- listen to what the painting needs.”
campaign to create
ied traditional figure painting at the Corcoran How did she know that about me? The reason
a compassionate
city for Mindful in College of Art and Design and had even spent I’d come to the retreat was to figure out a way
October 2016. time in Italy learning from the masters. But to grapple with my inner editor. When I was
none of that seemed to matter now. The brushes a young writer, I thought that creativity was
were terrible and the paint—a fast-drying, a form of alchemy that required falling into
water-based tempera—was so bright and cheer- a deep, trancelike state that only a select few
ful that everything I did turned into a kinder- artists had ever mastered. I was obsessed with
garten birthday decoration. My painting had the tricks famous writers had used to stimulate
started out as a picture of the Buddha on fire but the muse. The German poet Friedrich Schiller
had somehow morphed into a muddy purple- inhaled the fumes of rotting apples. Gertrude
and-gray mess like something by El Greco on Stein drove around the French countryside look-
happy pills. ing at cows for inspiration. Victor Hugo wrote →

56 mindful June 2017


PHOTOGRAPH BY GETTY IMAGES/THANASIS ZOVOILIS
creativity

his novels buck naked. None of these ploys ver, who described his approach as “embodied
When my daughter worked for me, however. creativity.” It combined meditation and quick,
was about seven Years later, when my career as a writer was spontaneous writing exercises that, he said,
years old, she floundering, I turned to meditation. My teacher were designed to “awaken unconscious ideas
asked me one day at the time told me that creativity was about and emotions that are hidden in our bones.”
what I did at work. being fully in the present. She said that she used That sounded interesting, but, given my profes-
I told her I worked to spend weeks writing and rewriting her talks sion, I worried that it might also rouse my inner
at the college— trying to make them perfect until she realized critic, so I opted to go with the painters.
that my job was that all she had to do was trust the moment To my delight, the retreat also included
to teach people and let the words flow effortlessly. That insight daily yoga practice. “We’re inviting your whole
how to draw. She inspired me to break through some of my more being to be here,” said Anna. “The point-and-
stared back at me, persistent blocks, but part of me still longed click world we live in often leaves out the body.
incredulous, and to tap into the wild, free-wheeling creativity I But this week is about letting go of your mind
said, 'You mean sensed was buried inside me. The creativity I and dropping down into your body.” Yoga and
they forgot?' " knew when I was a child. creativity, added teacher Anne Cushman, both
That was the world that Barbara (and her deepen our intimacy with experience. With
HOWARD IKEMOTO
colleague Claudia Erzinger) played in. “You don’t yoga, she explained, “you discover that whatever
have to be in a special state in order to create,” part of your experience you pay attention to
she said. “The creativity will meet you where you blossoms under the warmth of your attention.
Art is the means are.” It’s all about “deep listening,” she added, And the same can be said about creativity.”
we have of undo- and going far beyond “I like/I don’t like” and “I When Anne, an accomplished novelist and
ing the damage want/I don’t want.” “It’s pushing yourself to your journalist, started writing fiction, she said “the
of haste. It's what edges and coming face to face with the ideas and editor part of her mind often shut down the cre-
everything else attitudes that are limiting you. When that hap- ative part before it even had a chance to open
isn't." pens, it can be completely transformational.” its mouth.” One effective way to break through
that block, she learned, was through intense
THEODORE ROETHKE
meditation. “There’s a way of meditating where
you drop deeper beneath the surface of the
Spirit Rock is a peaceful sanctuary in the ocean. All the big waves of thought are moving
When you make golden hills surrounding the San Geronimo on the surface, and you don’t necessarily have
music or write or Valley, about 25 miles north of San Francisco. to quiet them, but you can learn to scuba dive
create, it's really As I drove onto the grounds past a large herd of down and contact this other layer that isn’t so
your job to have cows and the road sign that read “Yield to the churned up.” Another powerful strategy was
mind-blowing, Present,” I noticed a small raft of wild turkeys practicing yoga in a way that focused on follow-
irresponsible, making their way slowly down the road toward ing “the thread of aliveness” in her body rather
condomless sex the pasture. The retreat was being held in a large than trying to strike picture-perfect poses.
with whatever idea meditation hall overlooking a hill where a red- “Doing yoga that way,” she added, “taught me
it is you're writing tailed hawk circled quietly, searching for prey. how to tap into something that was moving
about at the time." The metaphor that Anna Douglas, one of through me when I was writing and let it guide
the founding teachers at Spirit Rock, used to the flow of the story.”
LADY GAGA
describe the retreat was “frozen ice cubes
melting.” “Melting is good,” she said. “Melting
the frozen judgments, plans, ideas that keep you
from being in the moment. And mindfulness The science bears this out. Being open to
is a tool for dealing with the hard things that experience is the single most consistent per-
come up during melting.” Listening to her, I sonality trait that predicts creative achieve-
finally understood what my college mentor, poet ment, according to Scott Barry Kaufman, a
Edwin Honig, was talking about when he told psychology professor at the University of Penn-
me that the secret of creativity was “gliding on sylvania and one of the nation’s leading author-
your own melting.” ities on creativity. But that means being open
The 50 or so participants were divided not only to your observations of the external
roughly into equal groups of writers and paint- world, but also your intuition, imagination, and
ers, and the idea was that we would spend a intellectual curiosity.
good part of the time practicing our craft when The other relevant traits exist on a spectrum:
we weren’t meditating or listening to talks. The extrovert–introvert, agreeable–disagreeable,
writing teacher was author Albert Flynn DeSil- conscientious–disorganized and narcissistic–

58 mindful June 2017


{ COGNITIVE
SCIENCE }
Does Meditation Boost Creativity?
Research shows that some key elements of meditation
stimulate creativity, and others may not.

What style of meditation is stimulating divergent thinking, attention; 3) description, focused-attention medita-
best for stimulating creativ- a key driver of creativity. Not being able to describe phe- tion, had a negative impact
ity? One of the most definitive surprisingly, the study also nomena without analyzing on some cognitive processes
studies on this subject was showed that focused-attention conceptually; and 4) accept- related to creativity, such
conducted in 2012 by Lorenza meditation was more strongly ing without judgment, as activities that demanded
Colzato, a Dutch cognitive related to convergent thinking, being non-evaluative about broad attentional scope and
psychologist. Her research which is important for narrow- present-moment experience. mind wandering. But it had
team had a small group of ing options and formulating a One major finding was that a positive impact on working
novices practice two forms workable solution. (Note: Most high observation scores were memory and in-depth survey
of mindfulness meditation: common forms of mindfulness the only consistently reliable of only a few categories or
1) open-monitoring, which meditation use a blend of both predictor of creativity. That perspectives. Meanwhile, the
involves observing and noting approaches.) skill, which is enhanced by results showed that the other
phenomena in the present Two years later, another open-monitoring meditation, mindfulness skills—descrip-
moment and keeping atten- Dutch psychologist, Matthijs not only improved working tion and accepting without
tion flexible and unrestricted, Baas, expanded on Colzato’s memory, it also increased cog- judgment—were unrelated to
and 2) focused attention, work and demonstrated, in a nitive flexibility and reduced creativity.
which stresses concentrating series of studies, the impor- cognitive rigidity—all of which What does this all mean?
on a single object, such as tance of specific mindfulness are critical to the creative In its report, Baas’ team con-
breathing, and ignoring other skills in the creative process. process. According to Baas, cludes, “A state of conscious
stimuli. Then, after each med- The skills were: 1) observa- the ability to observe is closely awareness resulting from liv-
itation session, the subjects tion, the ability to observe related to openness to expe- ing in the moment is not suf-
underwent tests to determine internal phenomena (such as rience, a personality trait that ficient for creativity to come
their ability to perform a bodily sensations, thoughts, several studies have shown to about. To be creative, you
range of cognitive skills. and emotions) and exter- be one of the most robust indi- need to have, or be trained in,
What Colzato and her nal stimuli (sights, sounds, cators of creative success. the ability to observe, notice,
team discovered was that smells, etc.); 2) acting with These studies also found and attend to phenomena
open-monitoring medita- awareness, engaging in that acting with aware- that pass your mind’s eye.”
tion was far more effective in activities with undivided ness, a skill enhanced by

emotionally stable. “Creative people are good at mindful is good for calming down the anxieties
surfing those traits,” he said. “Being agreeable? that get in the way of creativity and attuning
There are times when being a total jerk can help ourselves to reality in a deeper way. But there’s
your creativity. Conscientious? Look at Ein- a paradox because creativity also includes
stein’s desk when he died. It was a huge mess. mind-wandering and fantasizing.”
But being open to experience is the sturdy one, To be creative, you need to be adept at
no matter what your creative process.” toggling back and forth between different
That’s why mindfulness is so important. thinking styles, explained Carolyn Gregoire,
“We’re often blinded from making interesting the coauthor with Kaufman of Wired to Create.
connections because we’re so driven by esteem “Creative people learn to be more attuned to
concerns, anxieties, and fears,” he added. “Being their internal monologue,” she said. “That’s →

June 2017 mindful 59


{ RESEARCH
}

The Genius Formula


Dean Simonton, a professor in psychology at
the University of California, Davis, tells us what,
according to his research, makes a creative genius.

Hugh Delehanty: What sep- ipated in the Scientific Revo- fiction can be great art, but What can “small-c”
arates creative geniuses lution. At best, he might have science fiction will not be creators learn from your
from the rest of us? become a very erudite monk. great science, particularly discoveries?
Second, the social environ- if the fiction violates one or
Dean Simonton: Probably ment provides the setting in more laws of physics. The Creativity always demands the
the two main factors are (a) which ideas are accepted or Death Star is impossible in willingness to take risks, so
tremendous openness to rejected—and that accep- science, but not in art. you have to accept the possi-
experience and (b) unusual tance or rejection then bility of failure. Creativity also
motivational persistence. Of determines whether or not Why is true genius so rare? requires openness—curiosity,
course, they have to be highly those ideas are even deemed broad interests, and tolerance
intelligent and well-versed creative. A “neglected” genius Many different genetic and of ambiguity and novelty.
in their particular domain, who remains so will not count environmental factors have Big-C creators just show
but not necessarily more so as creative. to come together in a single these qualities to a higher
than their far less creative person before a genius can degree, and apply them to a
colleagues. How are scientific emerge. Thus, someone domain in which they have
geniuses different from might have all that it takes acquired sufficient expertise.
You’ve talked about cre- artistic geniuses? from a genetic standpoint—
ativity as not being just an such as intelligence, open- What’s the big question
individual phenomenon. They are similar in that they ness, and motivation—but be about creativity that
Why is the creator’s social both use some version of a born at the wrong place and remains to be answered?
context so important? generic process to obtain wrong time. Like the example
their creative ideas. For I gave above with respect to As always, the nature–nurture
First, the social environment example, trial and error is Newton. Or the times may be issue. How exactly do genetic
provides the context in which used in both art and science. ripe for a genius to appear, and environmental factors
creative development takes The difference is that sci- but a particular combination interact over time—from the
place. If Isaac Newton were entists must operate under of genetic components are moment of conception to the
born in the middle of the Dark stronger constraints than do necessary, and nobody has onset of creativity—to gener-
Ages, he couldn’t have partic- artists. For instance, science them at that time. ate a creative genius?

60 mindful June 2017


creativity

how mindfulness and mind-wandering come


together: turning inward and paying close
attention to what’s going on in your mind, while
it’s running off and fantasizing in both positive
and negative ways.”
Creativity is a complex process, which
involves several interacting cognitive systems.
“When we look at the neuroscience of creativ-
ity,” said Kaufman, “the system we use a lot
in school is the executive attention network,
which gives us the ability to focus on the outside
world. But that’s not where creativity comes
from. It comes from the imagination network,
whose functions strike at the core of human
existence—our ability to construct an ongoing
sense of self, to get in touch with emotions, and
to have compassion for others. Those are the
things that make us human, not just our abil-
ity to be machines and focus on other people’s
goals. When it comes to creativity, the executive
network and the imagination network usually
harmonize very well together.”

Something shifted in me during the third


day of the retreat. After laboring over a misbe-
gotten painting of the exit sign in my dormitory,
I suddenly felt the urge to do something sensual
and started painting a bare-breasted woman
with a long, flowing multicolored skirt. At the
end of the day, Barbara stopped by and her eyes
lit up. “I leave you alone for a minute,” she said,
“and look what happens.”
The next morning after the 6:30 a.m. medi-
tation, I took a walk in the woods and suddenly
saw paintings everywhere. The lonely oak
beside a meandering trail headed nowhere. The
vain blackbird fluttering its wings and shrieking
to be noticed. The soft, erotic curves of the sun-
flecked hills in the distance. It was exhilarating,
as if I were having an enchanting psychedelic
vision without drugs.
Then, suddenly, this voice came into my head,
saying, “Who are you kidding, Hugh? Why are
PHOTOGRAPH BY CATHERINE MACBRIDE/STOCKSY

you wasting your time on such trivia? Shouldn’t


you be doing something more practical?”
It sounded like my father the day I told him
I was thinking about majoring in art history
in college. “No way,” he fumed. “Jesus, Mary,
and Joseph. How’re you going to make a living
with an art history degree?” As it happened, I
majored in English instead, but it creeped me
out that somehow I had internalized his nar-
row-minded view of art.
Later that day, in a Q & A session with the →

June 2017 mindful 61


creativity

teachers, I asked what I should do with this


attack of guilt. Albert speculated that the guilt
was connected to my feeling of exhilaration. “On
some level,” he said, “you probably don’t feel as
if you deserve to be so exhilarated.” Meanwhile,
Anna suggested that I have a conversation with
my father, which could be tricky since he died
years ago. “Give the guilt back to him,” she said.
“Tell him you don’t need it anymore.” Both of
their comments made emotional sense.
When I returned to the art studio, Barbara
asked what I was going to do next with my
painting, and I mumbled something about
adding a simple beach scene in the background.
“I guess you could do that,” she replied, dis-
appointed. “But what would be the dangerous
thing to do?”
“I could put a man in the picture,” I answered.
“Doing what?”
“Whispering in her ear? Reaching out and
touching her breast?”
“That’s it.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Bar-
bara was daring me to go somewhere I’d never
ventured before.

None of this surprised Ellen Langer, a


psychology professor at Harvard who’s often
referred to as the “mother of mindfulness”
because of her seminal research on the sub-
ject. “When we think of creativity,” she said,
“we tend to think only of the final product, but
mindfulness is all about the process.” And her
research showed that the more mindful the
process the better the final product.
The main roadblock to creativity, according to
Langer, is our relentless self-evaluation. “People
know that they don’t know [the answer], but
what they don’t know is that nobody knows,” she
added. “If we knew that nobody knows, we’d be
confident in our uncertainty. That’s how artists
and anyone else involved in a creative endeavor
have to act. If you know where you’re going,
then you live your life painting by the numbers.
PHOTOGRAPH BY BEATRIX BOROS/STOCKSY

But it’s hard not knowing when you think you’re


going to be judged negatively. So people pretend
and withdraw.”
In one study, Langer and her team made an
interesting discovery when they asked people to
draw a picture of an animal, then forced them
to make mistakes. Of the three groups they
studied, one was encouraged to incorporate the
mistake into their work and keep going, another
was told to forgive themselves for the mistake, →

62 mindful June 2017


June 2017 mindful 63
creativity

and the third was allowed to complete their Ever since I’d started studying art, I’d longed
Creativity is more drawings uninterrupted. Afterward, the first to paint groups of people relating to each other.
than just being group not only reported enjoying the activity But mostly I’d worked with single models
different. Anybody more than the others, but judges also rated because I didn’t have the guts to try anything
can play weird; their work superior. Why? Because, Langer else. Now—caution be damned—I realized I
that's easy. What's concluded, incorporating mistakes made the could do anything I wanted to, without worry-
hard is to be as process more mindful. “The fear of making ing about making it perfect.
simple as Bach. mistakes keeps people sealed in unlived lives,” That wasn’t the only lesson Barbara had to
Making the simple, she said, and removing that fear can be “enor- teach me. Later that day, I told her I was think-
awesomely simple, mously freeing.” ing of leaving some of the figures in the painting
that's creativity." In her book, On Becoming an Artist, Langer unfinished, and she bristled at the idea.
chronicled her journey teaching herself to paint “You’re still thinking visually, about making
CHARLES MINGUS
and eventually showing her work in galleries. In a pretty picture,” she said emphatically. “This
the process, she learned that “to be a true artist painting is about relationships. And these people
is to be mindful” and that work executed mind- can’t relate to each other if they’re half-finished.”
Breathe in experi- lessly, even if it’s done by skilled artists, will usu- To her, the figures were living beings, not just
ence, breathe out ally feel “in some sense dead.” The key is authen- lines on a piece of paper. “Don’t jump ahead of
poetry." ticity. “When we are not pretending or are not yourself,” she added. “Paint those figures and
mindless in other ways,” she wrote, “the products then see what they want you to do.”
MURIEL RUKEYSER
of our labors will have our own signatures.” That night I was bursting with energy. I woke
Early on, Langer showed one of her paintings up at three in the morning and started madly
to an art collector friend who told her, “You drawing sketches to add to the painting. When I
A true work of art know, Ellen, there’s something there, but don’t finally got to the studio, I was pleased with what
must be a grand go thinking you’re Rembrandt.” Langer didn’t I saw. The painting was like nothing I’d ever
improvisation; respond at the time, but she recalled saying to done before. It was whimsical, almost child-
that is, meditation herself, “ ‘And Rembrandt isn’t me.’ Meaning like, the kind of painting I normally hated. But
and composition that if I’m true to myself, no one can do Ellen I loved its raw energy and innocent charm. As
should be steps to Langer better than me. And I’d rather be a num- a final touch, I added a large-breasted, Mother
a goal which the ber one Ellen Langer than a number 500,000 Earth figure floating angelically above the whole
artist will glimpse Rembrandt.” scene. I had no idea where she came from, but
unawares." she made me smile.
Barbara was excited, too, but she was even
WASSILY KANDINSKY
more interested in my early-morning drawing
“What now?” asked Barbara, studying my spree. “Isn’t it great that all those things are
rendering of a bearded young man canoodling moving inside of you?” she said. “Wouldn’t it be
with the woman in the striped dress. wonderful if that could happen every moment of
“Perhaps a picnic scene,” I said. every day?”
“Isn’t there something more dynamic you I wasn’t the only one in the room who’d had
could do?” a breakthrough. As I looked around the studio
I drew a blank. later that night, I was overwhelmed by how
“C’mon, there must be something you can powerful the paintings were. I expected to see
think of...” lots of landscapes and flower pictures. Instead
“Well, I could paint an orgy,” I said half- the walls were filled with heart-wrenching
jokingly. paintings of grief, sorrow, and dark yearnings.
She smiled and flashed that mischievous “Who would have guessed?” I wrote in my note-
look of hers. book. “So much pain and suffering hidden inside
Then something startling happened. As soon such nice mindful people.”
as I added another naked body to the picture, One of those painters was Elizabeth Bessette,
everything changed. Not just in the painting, but a former yoga teacher and body worker from
inside of me as well. I suddenly felt unfettered Brooksville, Maine. “It was scary and hard,”
and alive, and the images just started to flow. she said, looking back on the process she went
As the picture blossomed with men and women through. “But when I completed a painting, I’d
frolicking together, my brushstrokes became look at it and learn something about myself. It
more and more primitive. I no longer felt as if I was like my unconscious was speaking. One
were controlling the painting; the painting was thing I became aware of was about how much
painting me. I was trying to protect myself from life’s pain. I

64 mindful June 2017


also realized the pain I felt being separated from That’s what was happening to me. Once
life. The paintings made both of those concepts I became conscious of the forces that were One must still have
become very alive for me.” squelching my creativity—my guilt, my chaos in oneself
Her most striking painting was a self-portrait repressed sexual energy, my rigid view of to be able to give
of her being strangled by a large green snake. what constituted beautiful art—a deeper, more birth to a dancing
“The paintings I made were bizarre, but they complex sense of beauty began to emerge. And star."
spoke to me,” she added. “I didn’t start out with my life began to open up in surprising ways,
FRIEDRICH
a pre-conceived idea of what I was going to as well. All of a sudden, I found myself saying, NIETZSCHE
paint. I just trusted the brush on the paper and “Who gives a fuck?” a lot, especially when one
let it lead me.” of my fears arose and threatened to box me in
At one point, she felt shaky and nauseous a corner. It didn’t happen every time. I am still
because she had no idea where she was headed. very much a work in progress. But at least the The most solid
“We put so much value on a painting, that it’s movement had begun. advice...for a writer
going to reflect who we are,” she said. “To let “I don’t think most people are aware of how is this, I think: Try
go of all the things you know how to do that are small they live,” said Barbara. “We’re so used to to learn to breathe
kind of clever and artistic and just let the brush enduring and just getting by. When you ask peo- deeply, really to
lead you—that was a fascinating new concept for ple, on a scale of zero to ten, how’s your energy, taste food when
me. I didn’t know that’s what I wanted to learn. and a lot of times they’ll say, ‘Five, but I’m okay you eat, when you
But in hindsight that was exactly what I was with that.’ What’s stopping us from going for an sleep, really to
looking for.” eight, nine, or 10?” sleep. Try as much
One day when Barbara was taking a break as possible to be
from painting, she ran into a homeless man in wholly alive, with
her neighborhood who gave her a remarkable all your might, and
A few weeks after the retreat, I visited gift. “I used to think that painting was going when you laugh,
Barbara in her painting studio in San Francisco. to make me superhuman,” she recalled. “But in laugh like hell,
It was a playful environment with festive hand- that moment when our eyes met, I realized that and when you get
painted prayer flags hanging in the windows, he and I were just the same. The painting was angry, get good
walls splattered with bright colors, Jackson actually bringing out my humanity and allowing and angry. Try
Pollock–style, and at one end of the room a large me to really see him. This was a huge shift in to be alive. You
unfinished mural depicting the Crack in the how I saw painting. It wasn’t about being better will be dead soon
Cosmic Egg. than others or moving beyond anger. It was enough."
A gracious, strong-minded artist with warm about being attuned to the way my being was
WILLIAM SAROYAN
eyes and curly gray hair, Barbara got into paint- responding and entering more into life.”
ing in her late 20s because, she said, she felt For me, this was the ultimate takeaway.
“this pressure inside that if I didn’t deal with I When I started this journey, I thought I was
was going to burst.” In her very first class with searching for a magical bag of tricks to help me
Michele Cassou, the pioneering teacher of spon- turn dross into creative gold. But what I dis-
taneous painting, Barbara realized that there covered was that creativity isn’t a fancy parlor
was something in her that wanted to come out. game; it’s a more intimate way of relating to
“It was waking me up to parts of myself that felt the world.
not included,” she recalled. “Strong feelings that “Everything leads us back to ourselves,” said
I thought were too intense for the world, but they Barbara. “Sometimes we have to go too far to see
were living in me. I judged the process, I cried, I that. But what we usually do is play it too safe
hated it, I screamed, but it was happening. And it and close up. Once you start opening, you get a
had a voice that told me I could paint big paint- sense that you can stretch more, and then you
ings. And big monsters. I could explore God.” begin to realize the potential that’s available to
Sometimes all it took was trying a new color. you at any given moment. The invitation of cre-
“The first time I painted the color black I had ativity is to move beyond the boundaries we’ve
all these ideas of what it would say about me,” set for ourselves. To allow life to permeate those
she said. “But in the actual painting of it, my thick walls that we think are so secure.” ●
whole being came alive. It was forbidden. It
was exciting. In the forbidden is a lot of stored
energy. And to paint it from an innocent space
brings this excitement and curiosity. That’s
what’s transformative: when you wake up to the
wonder that children have naturally.”

June 2017 mindful 65


{ CREATIVE
PROCESS }

5 Rituals of Highly One of the big myths about creativity is that you have to wait
for the muse to whisper in your ear. But most prominent writers

Creative People and artists prefer not to leave anything up to chance. “Inspi-
ration is for amateurs,” said painter Chuck Close in Mason
Currey’s book, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work. “The rest of us
just show up and get to work.” Or as Jack London famously put
it, “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a
club.” Here are unique rituals of five successful artists.

Stephen King Twyla Tharp Garrison Keillor


Writer Stephen King starts Choreographer Twyla Storyteller and radio host
every day at 8 to 8:30 a.m. Tharp’s dance begins at Garrison Keillor avoids the
and doesn’t stop until 5:30 a.m., when she wakes lure of the internet by writing
he reaches his daily goal up, throws on her workout on a legal pad with a roller-
of 2,000 words, usually clothes, and hails a cab to her ball pen. “I don’t think that
between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 gym on Manhattan’s Upper one should sit and look at a
p.m. Before sitting down to East Side. “The ritual is not blank page,” he revealed to
write, he takes a multivita- the stretching and weight the website 99U. “The way
min with a glass of water or training I put into my body around it is to walk around
cup of tea and makes sure through each morning at the with scrap paper and to take
PHOTOGRAPH BY GETTY IMAGES/ANDY RYAN

the papers on his desk are gym; the ritual is the cab,” notes, and simply to take
arranged meticulously. “The she wrote in her book, The notes of the observable world
cumulative purpose of doing Creative Habit. “The moment around you...I think every-
these things the same way I tell the driver where to go I thing—everything—starts
every day,” he told his biog- have completed the ritual.” with the observable world.”
rapher, Lisa Rogak, “seems
to be a way of saying to the
mind, you’re going to be
dreaming soon.”

66 mindful June 2017


Bernard
Maya Angelou Malamud
Author Maya Angelou’s solu- velous.” On returning home, Like many novelists, Bernard
tion was to go into isolation. Angelou showered and pre- Malamud stuck to a disci-
She had trouble writing in her pared dinner, so that when plined routine—from 9 a.m.
beautifully appointed home her husband arrived, she to 4 p.m. every day—which
because, as she said, “I can’t wouldn’t be totally absorbed usually resulted in a page or
work in a pretty surrounding. in her work. But sometimes two of finished copy. But he
It throws me.” So she rented after dinner she would read scoffed at the idea of mimick-
a small hotel room with a to him what she’d written that ing the work rituals of great
bed, a wash basin, and little day. “He doesn’t comment,” writers. “You write by sitting
else. “I try to get there around she added. “I don’t invite down and writing,” he once
seven, and I work until two comments from anyone said. “There’s no particular
in the afternoon,” she told but my editor, but hearing it time or place—you suit your-
interviewer Claudia Tate. “If aloud is good. Sometimes I self, your nature.... The real
the work is going badly, I stay hear the dissonance; then I mystery to crack is you.”
until 12:30. If it’s going well, try to straighten it out in the
I’ll stay as long as it’s going morning.”
well. It’s lonely, and it’s mar-

June 2017 mindful 67


anne lamott
“ the mindful interview

RADICAL
KINDNESS
By Hugh Delehanty

Renowned writer, devoted grandmother,


and thought-provoker Anne Lamott shares
her latest fascination with an act we rarely
consider but desperately need: mercy.

Anne Lamott wasn’t planning to write a book on mercy.


She’d touched on the subject in Traveling Mercies and
some of her other bestsellers, and she thought she was
done. “But then this thing started to nudge me and tug
on my sleeve,” she says as she sits down at a cafe near
her home in Fairfax, California. “I started thinking about
mercy—just the word—and I noticed that if I said ‘mercy’
PHOTOGRAPH BY GETTY IMAGES/KIM KULISH

or ‘merciful’ to people, it could change their whole day.”


What emerged was Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscov-
ering Mercy, her timely, thought-provoking, and—
yes—funny take on a topic most of us don’t give much
thought to. “Mercy, grace, forgiveness, and compassion
are synonyms, and the approaches we might consider
taking when facing a great big mess, especially the
great big mess of ourselves—our arrogance, greed,

68 mindful June 2017


Anne Lamott is
an activist, public
speaker, author, and
writing teacher out of
the Bay Area.
the mindful interview

poverty, disease, prejudice,” she writes. “It includes life. And that’s terrifying and painful, so you
everything out there that just makes us want to turn start thinking about ways to cope. You get
skittish, your central nervous system revs up,
away, the idea of accepting life as it presents itself and and you become much more watchful, not in a
doing goodness anyway, the belief that love and caring childlike way, but in a haunted way. I started
are marbled even into the worst life has to offer.” to be known for being funny right around then
because it was the best way to deflect criticism.
In a pink puffer jacket, sporting her trademark dread-
locks with golden highlights, Lamott is no faint-hearted You talk about mercy as “radical kindness.”
church lady. Over the years, she has written evocatively What do you mean by that?
about her struggles with alcoholism and her mid-life It’s radical in the sense that you would never
expect it. I find a warmth in my heart where
conversion to Christianity, but this morning, as the con- once there was bad energy. I may have the
versation begins, the first thing she wants to talk about conviction that someone has sinned against me
is her grandson, Jax. to such a degree that I’ll never have anything to
do with him or her again. But, instead, I begin to
see the fear and grief behind their bad behavior,
and my heart softens. That, to me, is the hugest
Hugh Delehanty: Why mercy? Why now? miracle of all.
Anne Lamott: I have a seven-year-old who lives
with me, and I feel it’s a catastrophic time to be Can you give an example?
born into. But I also feel strongly that the coun- A man in our neighborhood just hates me and
terintuitive thing to do in the face of the danger my dog, Lady Bird, who’s like Dinah Shore
and chaos is to find mercy within yourself and running around the neighborhood, so sweet
operate from that place, instead of strategically and so loving. He constantly calls the Humane
trying to suss things out. I spend a lot of time Society to talk to me about keeping her on a
with little kids, and I’ve noticed I become really leash. A few weeks ago, he and I really got
merciful and open when they’re around. They’re into it. He took a picture to show the Humane
crazily generous. My grandson will give stuff Society that Lady Bird was not on a leash, and I
away that I don’t want him to give away. The said, “Make sure to get a picture of your dog and
Hallelujah Anyway: merciful heart is really rich at four or five, but my dog kissing and licking each other’s noses,
Rediscovering then it begins to diminish. because that’s what they were doing.” I was on
Mercy, the latest In kindergarten you’re all part of the litter, red alert. But afterward I said to myself, “Do you
from prolific writer all sleeping on the floor together. Then, in first want to be right or do you want to be happy?”
Anne Lamott, grade, you learn subtraction—something before So, I prayed deeply, and the other day when I
delves into one of anybody else—and you start getting esteemed saw him, I didn’t go into the story I usually tell
our most sublime for that. Pretty soon, you go from being in the myself. Lady Bird started running over to his
emotions—to litter to being singled out for praise. You start dog and I said, “Sorry, sorry”—automatically, it
reveal how vital putting things in the drawer that don’t serve you, was weird—and neither he nor I got into being
mercy is to life, how like wonder and connection to life. Your parents morally superior. You take action, and insights
we so often ignore don’t want you to be one of; they want you to start follow. That’s mercy at work.
it, and how we can excelling. And that leads to perfectionism. But if
make it a bigger you’re getting your value from excelling, you have You’ve written that mercy isn’t something
force in our lives. to do more and more things perfectly, and, pretty that you do, it’s something that you are.
soon, you’re a completely doomed human being. Tell us about that.
We come into the world merciful, and we can be
When did that happen for you? that way again once we realize we have so many
In school, I was quick and sharp, and that started stories about ourselves and other people and so
to isolate me from the other kids. Some of them many defenses against feeling exposed. Little
were jealous because I was such a star student, by little, we can start dropping that armor and
and they teased me about my crazy hair. There practice being real instead of putting on those
was this system of beauty and wealth. Gold, sil- great social personas we’ve mastered. When
ver, bronze. Beautiful or rich was gold, and every- you’re real with somebody, they will be real
body else was just fighting to be at least silver. back. And when you’re back in your original,
You feel like you’re separating from others, merciful, authentic selves, that breeds wonder
but you’re really separating from yourself and and a deep sense of presence.

70 mindful June 2017


But that doesn’t come easy. being full of yourself in the pejorative sense. It’s Lamott’s novels
It takes a lifetime to heal from the toxic self- like, “Wow, I’m full of myself, my little self, my and non-fiction
consciousness we all develop in school. But higher self, and all the selves I’ve ever been.” books speak to
the good news is that’s why we’re here. You wonder and the
can begin when you decide to do anything that What do you do to quiet your mind? human heart, and
makes you feel enlivened again. You do it imper- [Deep sigh.] I pray a lot, I do meditation not are “concerned
fectly, two steps forward and one back. The very well, and I have certain things I say, like with real lives.”
hardest part is extending mercy to ourselves. To the prayer, “Lord, have mercy on me. Give me Here’s a selection:
use a merciful voice with yourself when the work a break.” Usually the break I need is to go very,
doesn’t go well or you’ve acted like an a--hole. very easy on myself. To drop down to a more
Several years ago, Maria Shriver asked me to maternal place, instead of that clipped high
come to Los Angeles to take part in a women’s school coach in my head who’s unhappy with me
because I dropped the ball.
Being in recovery for 30 years helped me
clear out a lot of that garbage and self-loathing.
I WANTED OUT FROM There’s a famous saying in recovery, “You’re as
sick as your secrets,” and I absolutely believe
that. I don’t keep secrets because this jungle
MY TOXIC OBSESSION drum starts beating inside me. I always spill
the beans. Before I got sober, I converted to
WITH SELF. I HAD TO GET Christianity. And that came, as so many things
do, from my exhaustion with being the way
BUSTED LITTLE BY LITTLE. I was. I wanted out from my toxic obsession
with self. I had to get busted little by little. My
mind is classically alcoholic. Half of it thinks
everything’s going great, and the other half
conference. I just loathed her husband, then- says the jig is up and they’re going to find out
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I wrote, what a loser I am. Without dropping down
“Thank you so much, but I need to be honest and out of my head, without meditation, without
say that my work as an activist is mostly directed prayer, it’s like a Ping-Pong game in there. It’s
at your husband.” She replied, “Of course, I would partly about dropping down, but it’s also about
never want you to be part of a conference when stepping back and letting things get bigger
your feelings about my husband are so strong.” I and more spacious, so I’m not caught in this
thought to myself, “What an a--hole, Annie.” So I cramped, clenched fist of a mind. Just relaxing
threw myself at her mercy. I wrote, “I will not be the thinking muscle and breathing down into
able to express in words how contrite and full of my heart space. Once you start breathing, you
exhausted fury I am with myself for having said can get your sense of humor back. Then you’re
something like that about your dear husband. I halfway home.
don’t expect for you to be able to forgive me, but
please know that I noticed what I did and I’m How has working with your heart
humiliated by my behavior. God bless you both.” and mind affected your writing?
And she took me back in and we started over. With writing, I don’t talk about inspiration
much. I talk about showing up and just doing
In your book, Bird by Bird, I was taken by it. I never feel like writing. Ever. So I have a
author Geneen Roth’s insight that awareness lot of tricks. I give myself very short assign-
is learning to keep yourself company. Can you ments and write godawful first drafts. And
say more? I use bribes. Once my butt is in the chair, if I
The idea, especially for women and girls, is write for 45 minutes, I get to take the dogs to
that you’re supposed to become great company. the park or watch the news at the top of the
In the 50s and 60s, when all the power was in hour. One thing I’ve learned about writing is
the hands of men, you wanted men to find you that you have to stay with it. If you do that, it
brilliant and entertaining. But doing that you will let you know what it needs to be. The most
lose connection with your own crazy, beauti- important thing is to keep your butt in the
ful, mixed-up, obtuse self. Becoming friends chair. Then something will shift. Something
with that person and looking in the mirror and will get back to you. That’s the secret of life:
saying “Hi” is the beginning of new life. It’s not Be where your butt is. ●

June 2017 mindful 71


insight

Go Toward
What Hurts By Frank Ostaseski
Illustrations by Tatsuro Kiuchi

72 mindful June 2017


EDITOR’S NOTE Most of the people I have worked with over
In the following piece, adapted from Frank the past 30 years were ordinary people who were
Ostaseski’s book The Five Invitations: coming face-to-face with what they imagined was
Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About impossible or unbearable, walking toward their
Living Fully, he shares some of his experiences own deaths or caring for someone they loved who
from the decades he has been working with dying was now dying. Yet most found within them-
people and those who are dealing with the death selves and the experience of dying the resources,
of loved ones. On a regular basis, Frank has gone insight, strength, courage, and compassion to
courageously to places of deep pain and suffering meet the impossible in extraordinary ways.
few of us ever have to go to. As you are about to No two people or stories were exactly alike.
read this account, it might help you to know that it Some of the people I’ve worked with had a deep
is deeply affecting, and yet also uplifting, to hear faith that carried them through difficult times,
firsthand about people going through the hardest while others had sworn off religion. Some wore
experiences of their lives. the face of resignation or were angry about their
loss of control. Many had lost all trust in human-
ity. Nguyen feared ghosts. Isaiah was comforted
by “visits” from his dead mother. There was a →

June 2017 mindful 73


insight

We think we need the These people invited me into their most


vulnerable moments and made it possible for me
conditions of our lives to reliably to get up close and personal with death. In the
process, they taught me how to live.
give us what we want. But we When confronted by such harsh realities in
life, or even some small discomfort or inconve-
know it will all break down. nience, our instinctive reaction is to run in the
opposite direction. But we can’t escape suffer-
ing. It’ll just take us by surprise and whack us
Frank Ostaseski is hemophiliac father who had contracted the in the back of the head. The wiser response is
a meditation teacher HIV virus from a blood transfusion. Years to move toward what hurts, to put our hands
who cofounded the Zen before his illness, he had disowned his gay son. and attention gently and mercifully on what we
Hospice Project. In
2004, he went on to cre-
But at the end of life, father and son were both might otherwise want to avoid.
ate the Metta Institute dying of AIDS, lying next to one another in twin Once I was speaking to a group in a rural area
to provide innovative beds in a shared bedroom, being cared for by in the Pacific Northwest, and we began talking
educational programs
Agnes, the father’s wife and the son’s mother. about the possibilities that arise when we stop
and professional train-
ing to foster compas- For some, dying was a great gift. They made running away from what is difficult. One of the
sionate, mindfulness- reconciliations with their long-lost families, attendees, a burly middle-aged man with broad
based care. they freely expressed their love and forgiveness, shoulders and an even wider smile, spoke up.
or they found the kindness and acceptance they “That reminds me of telephone poles.”
had been looking for their whole lives. Still oth- I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.
ers turned toward the wall in withdrawal and “Telephone poles? What do you mean?” I asked.
hopelessness and never came back again. He explained that he once had a job installing
All of them were my teachers. telephone poles. “They’re hard and heavy, stand-

74 mindful June 2017


insight
Awaken Everyday
ing up to forty feet high.” There was a critical Lovingkindness Retreat
moment after you placed a pole in the ground, he A Weekend Retreat
said, when a pole was unstable and might topple
over. “If it hit you, it could break your back.”
His first day on the job, the man turned to his
partner and said, “If this pole starts to fall, I’m
running like hell.” But the old-timer replied,
“Nope, you don’t want to do that. If that pole
Mindfulness
starts to fall, you want to go right up to it. You for Educators
want to get real close and put your hands on the A Weekend Retreat
pole. It’s the only safe place to be.”

Uncovering a Wound
Living from Your Center:
One afternoon when I was about five, I cut my
hand while playing with a pocketknife. I was ter- Integrating Mind, Body
rified because there was blood everywhere. My and Spirit
mother took one look at the wound and calmly
said, “Oh, I think we need the magic towel for
this one.” Then she pulled me up onto her lap,
wrapped my hand in a towel hanging from the
stove, and held me until I began to calm down. Introduction to
After a while, I caught my breath, and she said, Mindfulness Based
“Let’s take a look.” I didn’t want to; it was too
frightening. But accompanied by her kindness Stress Reduction
and reassurance, I was willing to try. Slowly, she Retreat
unwrapped the towel, and together we looked
into the wound. I realized that I would be OK.
In that moment, I saw that it is possible and even
helpful to turn toward our pain and that there is
always the possibility of healing. Meditation for
The secret of healing lies in exploring our Emotional Healing and
wounds in order to discover what is really there.
When we allow the experience—creating space Spiritual Transformation
and acceptance for it—we find that our suffer-
ing is not a static, monolithic thing, but rather
it is composed of many elements, including our
attitudes toward it. Understanding this, we can
work skillfully to alleviate the underlying reac-
tions that exacerbate our problems so that we
might ease our suffering. It will only be removed Full Funding Available
by wisdom, not by drenching it in sunshine or for Educators, Artists and
attempting to bury it in a dark basement. Healthcare Professionals.
Suffering is a pretty dramatic word. Most
people don’t think the term applies to them. “I’m
not suffering,” they say. They imagine children
starving in a famine-struck African country
or refugees fleeing war in the Middle East or
people afflicted with devastating illnesses. We
imagine that if we are good and careful, stay
positive, play by the rules, and ignore what’s on
the news every night, then it won’t happen to us.
copperbeechinstitute.org
We think suffering is somewhere else.
But suffering is everywhere. Suffering is fall-
ing in love and then becoming complacent. →

June 2017 mindful 75


insight

Suffering is not being able to connect with


our children. It’s our anxiety about what will
happen at work tomorrow. Suffering is know-
ing your roof will leak in the next rainstorm.
It’s finally buying that shiny new smartphone,
then seeing an advertisement for an even
newer device with incremental improvements.
Hoping your company will get rid of your
grumpy boss who still has a year to go before
his retirement. Thinking that life is moving by
too fast or too slow. Not getting what you want,
getting what you don’t want, or getting what
you want but fearing you will lose it—all of this
is suffering. Sickness is suffering, old age is suf-
fering, and so is dying.
We think we need the conditions of our lives
to reliably give us what we want. We want to
construct an ideal future or nostalgically relive
a perfect past. We mistakenly believe this will
make us happy. But we all can see that even
those people who realize extraordinary con-
ditions in life still suffer. Even if we are rich,
beautiful, smart, in perfect health, and blessed
with wonderful families and friendships, in
time these will break down, be destroyed, and
change...or we will simply lose interest. On some
level, we know this is the case, yet we can’t seem
to stop grasping for those “perfect” conditions.
Opening to pain in the present moment, we
may be able to do something to improve the
situation. Or maybe not. But we can certainly
notice how our attitudes toward the experience
are impacting what is happening. My reaction to
pain, even to the thought of pain, changes
everything. It can increase or decrease my suf-
fering. I have always liked the formula:

Pain + Resistance = Suffering

If we attempt to push away our pain,


whether it is physical or emotional, we almost
always find ourselves suffering even more.
When we open to suffering, inquiring into it
instead of trying to deny it, we see how we
might make use of it in our lives.

Even in the Deepest Tragedy


Years ago, Janet was enjoying a backyard BBQ
with her husband, their good friend Albert, and
their families. Looking around, she couldn’t
see her three-and-a-half-year-old son, Jack, or
Albert’s son, Daniel, in the yard. Concerned, she
said that she was going to check on the boys. But
her husband and Albert called her back, saying,
insight

“You’re always jumping up. Sit down with us. In time and with attention, her
Relax.” They assured her that the kids were fine,
likely playing inside the house. Moments later, heart cracked wide open, and her
they all heard a crash and a scream. Young Dan-
iel came running up to the adults. Janet ran past relationship to the precariousness of
him to the front of the house, where she found
Jack lying near-lifeless in the middle of their life changed, giving rise to gratitude
normally peaceful neighborhood street. The car
that had hit her child had driven off.
and a sense of being fully alive.
Janet scooped up Jack, and they all piled
into the truck, heading to the emergency room
as quickly as possible. Albert was a physician,
so he worked heroically throughout the ride to
restore Jack’s breathing. Janet felt overwhelmed
by guilt and shame, though her primary concern
was for Jack’s obviously broken leg. How could
she have allowed this to happen? she wondered
as they drove.
It turned out that Jack had suffered injuries
far worse than a broken leg. The doctors at the
hospital did their best to save the boy, but they
explained that his head wounds and the result-
ing brain damage were too severe. Janet’s son
would not survive. She and her husband eventu-
ally made the decision to unhook little Jack from
life support. He died almost immediately.
Everyone was in shock, frozen in time and
disbelief. Janet held her baby close, rocking
him as she had so many nights as she settled
him to sleep with a sweet lullaby. There would liability, and explained that he did not know that
be no waking from this dream. Full of fear and his car had hit anyone until the police contacted
sheer horror, the parents drove back home him. Once again, Janet’s guidance spoke to her
shortly before dawn. The country road hugged with an inner strength reminiscent of the drive
the nearby river. Janet noticed the rising full along the river. She looked compassionately at
moon reflected in the water. This contact with the man and, without any false sympathy, spoke
something outside herself helped her sense a honestly. “Jack’s death is a responsibility that we
deep, clear part of her being, a calm awareness four adults all share,” she said.
that, for a moment, could cut through the guilt, Janet and the man who had accidentally
grief, and disbelief. An inner guidance spoke to killed her son talked a while longer. Janet cried
her, saying, “If I am going to honor Jack’s life, I as she spoke of how she, her husband, and their
cannot let this accident destroy me.” friend had been preoccupied and hadn’t kept a
Still, the next day, when the police phoned close enough eye on the young boy. The driver
to confirm the hit-and-run, her whole being explained how his daughter was getting married
filled again with the heat of rage. Then, at 11:00 and that he had been rushing to the wedding
a.m., another shift occurred. There was a knock rehearsal. In Janet’s mind, it was a moment of
on the screen door. An older man, a stranger, distraction on all their parts that had led to this
appeared on the other side. Instinctively, Janet disastrous outcome. A brief moment of inatten-
knew he was the driver of the car. The anguish tion, nothing more.
on his face temporarily washed away her rage, We tend to like simple causes: they tidy up
and the grieving mother invited the stranger life’s uncertainties. We want such accidents
into her home. to be brought under human control. We want
The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow someone to be held accountable. We want the
once wrote, “If we could read the secret history outrageous and impossible to be understood, so
of our enemies, we should find in each man’s as to alleviate our sense of helplessness. But life
life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all does not always present itself in ways that are
hostility.” The driver apologized, admitted his right or reasonable. The truth is, we are →

June 2017 mindful 77


rarely in control of such catastrophes, of the
twists and turns of fate, and most especially not
of our deaths.
In her humility, Janet understood that she
could only be saved from this inexplicable hor-
ror by accepting it. She said to herself, I need to
take my share of responsibility in order not to
live a life full of shame and blame. She found a
middle ground, one without unnecessary inter-
nalizing (“It’s all my fault”) or externalizing
(“It’s all his fault”).
There were still years of grief work to be
done, pain to be felt, anger toward the driver,
herself, and even Jack for dying. It all had to
be reckoned with, and it took courage to face it
directly. But Janet recognized the importance
of meeting her suffering if she ever was to have
a good life again. Her small rural community of
Mormons, Mennonites, old-timers, and hippies
helped her to heal. A bouquet of flowers would
appear on her doorstep one day, a basket of fresh
eggs the next.
Janet told me later that being with her grief
opened her to a new level of love. For a while, she
lived with the fear of the absolute precariousness
of life, warning other young mothers of dangers
to their children that they might not recognize.
In time and with attention, however, her heart
cracked wide open. Her relationship to the
precariousness of life transformed, giving rise
to gratitude and a sense of being fully alive. Now
she would not turn away from any part of life.
Her marriage didn’t survive the trauma
of Jack’s death, but Janet did. She went on
to become one of the most amazing hospice
professionals I know. She has taught hundreds
of volunteers and family caregivers how to live
with grief and accompany death. She is the per-
son her community calls to stand beside parents
when there are sudden or traumatic deaths of
children. Jack made all that possible. And Janet,
as she had vowed to herself, honored his life by
not letting his tragic death destroy her. It is a
kind of resilience we all possess, and can dis-
cover, if we allow ourselves to take off the magic
towel and look at what lies within. ●

Adapted from the


book The Five
Invitations by Frank
Ostaseski. Copyright
© 2017 by Frank
Ostaseski. Reprinted
with permission from
Th e
Flatiron Books. All
Mindf rights reserved.
Twent
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life sk
ills to ha
78 mindful June 2017
& ever ndle
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Bookmark This
read…listen…download

ATTENDING MARROW
Medicine, Mindfulness, A Love Story
and Humanity Elizabeth Lesser ƈ HarperCollins
Ronald Epstein, MD ƈ Scribner

A family physician and a professor at the When she learns she’s the soul-searching she’s under-
University of Rochester School of Medicine, perfect match for her sister’s taken on the couch or on the
Ron Epstein has been working to improve how bone marrow transplant to cushion. Along the way, the
doctors treat others for decades. Together with fight cancer, Elizabeth Lesser sisters get the rare oppor-
colleague Mick Krasner, he has encouraged begins a life journey she never tunity to truly explore—and
caregivers to pay attention to what’s happening imagined. The cofounder heal—their past, and find
in their own minds and bodies as they interact of the Omega Institute and themselves on a completely
with patients—with particular attention to how author of the best-selling transformed field of friend-
they communicate and the quality of the time: book Broken Open, Lesser ship, and indeed, love.
Are they really “attending” or are they not quite has been a seeker for her Beautifully written, deeply
all there? In 1999, Epstein launched a small entire adult life and a benevo- poignant in its honesty, this
revolution with “Mindful Practice,” a piece in lent chronicler of the human book is far more than a story
the prestigious Journal of the American Medi- condition. But this experience about sibling relations; it’s a
cal Association. Ten years later, he and Krasner she shares with her younger memoir about touching the
reported in the same journal on the results of sister goes far beyond any marrow of life itself.
their mindfulness work with doctors: They were
more present, less stressed out, and more atten-
tive to patients, and they incorporated mindful-
ness skills into their everyday lives. (See Mind-
ful, October 2014: “The Doctor is Not Well.”)
Now, Epstein has contemplated and compiled
all he has learned from using the lens of self- MINDFUL MONEY
awareness to view the health-care system and Simple Practices for Reaching Your
the lives of the people in it. Both analytically Financial Goals and Increasing
clear and empathic, he guides us to a vision of Your Happiness Dividend
a new kind of doctor in a new system: covering Jonathan K. DeYoe ƈ New World Library
everything from how doctors need to pay atten-
tion to their mindware (the thought processes
they use to make diagnoses and decisions), using Do mindful and money even enough for you? Are you
meta-cognition (being aware of your own think- belong in the same sentence? spending too much? DeYoe’s
ing) to healing the healer (how to travel the path Money is such a scary thing, approach to money is honest
from burnout to resistance), to what makes a fraught with so much fear and and free of hype. Money will
compassionate and humane health-care system emotion. And most advice never make us happy, he tells
(one where small acts of kindness can make about money offered in the us right off. It’s merely a tool
“the unbearable bearable”). Attending is a long mainstream media plays on we need to use to live our life.
overdue book that needs to be read by doctors, that fear and anxiety: Are you That said, he goes on to offer
caregivers, health administrators, and patients prepared for retirement? Is very practical, non-preachy,
who care about human-centered medicine. your money working hard down-to-earth counsel.

80 mindful June 2017


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reviews

PODCASTS
MODERN MINDFULNESS
How to Be More Relaxed, Focused,
and Kind While Living in a Fast,
Digital, Always-On World TEDMED
Rohan Gunatillake ƈ St. Martin’s Griffin Episode: “Fulfilling Trauma’s
Hidden Promise”
James Gordon, a professor of medicine at
Does mindfulness need a (“It’s not practical for me to Georgetown University, talks about using
redesign? Author Rohan unplug everything”). Fortu- integrative approaches, such as movement,
Gunatillake, the creator of nately, each of these barri- meditation, and relaxation, to help patients
the popular buddhify app, ers is more apparent than with chronic illnesses, US war veterans, Syrian
says yes. Although there’s real, and in this accessible, refugees, and families in Bosnia, Kosovo, Israel,
never been more interest in readable book, he lays out Gaza, and Haiti, among others.
mindfulness and meditation some techniques for bring-
than right now, three barriers ing mindfulness into even the THINK AGAIN
keep too many people from busiest of lives. Gunatillake Episode: “Nature, Nurture, Neither”
making mindfulness a lived also argues that switching Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist, mindfulness
reality: the time problem (“I off our devices is not the teacher, and author of Thoughts Without a
just don’t have time to medi- key to mindfulness. Instead, Thinker and The Trauma of Everyday Life, joins
tate”), the hippy problem he makes suggestions for host Jason Gots in a wide-ranging discussion
(“You have to be spiritual or using technology, like mobile on education, free will, trauma, epigenetics,
religious to get into medita- phones and television, to and the nature–nurture debate.
tion”), and the digital problem actually be mindful.
10% HAPPIER
Episode: “George Stephanopoulos,
ABC News Chief Anchor”
Most of us know Dan Harris: the ABC newsman
who had a panic attack live on Good Morning
GOODBYE, THINGS America and went on to write best-selling
The New Japanese Minimalism book 10% Happier. Well, Dan also started
Fumio Sasaki ƈ Norton a podcast. In this episode, he talks with
George Stephanopolous about his twice-daily
meditation practice.

TED: IDEAS WORTH SPREADING


Episode: “What Reality Are You
Imagine you live in a Goodbye, Things kicks off Creating for Yourself?”
215-square-foot apartment, by defining “minimalism,” a Isaac Lidsky—who runs a construction
with fewer pieces of furniture way of living that has been company in Orlando, starred in a TV sitcom,
than fingers on your hand, around for decades but has and served as a law clerk to two Supreme Court
and about 150 possessions in been gaining popularity over justices—lost his sight to a rare genetic eye
total. Yes, that’s a bit extreme. the past 10 years or so. From disease. In this talk, he challenges us to let go
But it actually describes there, Sasaki explores the of excuses, assumptions, and fears, and accept
the lifestyle of writer Fumio psychological underpinnings that we create our own reality.
Sasaki, who decided to pare of our materialistic culture and
down his possessions to the offers advice for how to shift THE ONE YOU FEED
barest minimum after years your mindset around belong- Episode: “Emily Esfahani Smith”
struggling with stress, inse- ings, say goodbye to the stuff, “Human beings are meaning-seeking
curity, and comparing himself and feel good about it. The creatures,” says the author of The Power
against others. As a result, he book is light and easy to read, of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters.
says, he was able to let go of dotted with anecdotes from “Transcendent experiences are crucial to
the emotional baggage that Sasaki’s personal experience having a greater sense of meaning in life.”
comes from defining yourself transforming from a maximal-
by the things you own. ist into a minimalist.

82 mindful June 2017


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THE WELL-TEMPERED CITY


What Modern Science, Ancient
Civilizations, and Human Nature
Teach Us about the Future of
Urban Life
Jonathan F.P. Rose ƈ Harper Wave

Jonathan Rose is a think- Together with his wife, he


ing person’s developer and founded the Garrison Insti-
a man who knows whereof tute (one of the country’s
he speaks. His grandfather leading centers for contem-
and great-uncle founded a plative practice) and created
real estate company in New its innovative Climate, Mind,
York in 1928, and his father and Behavior program. In this
and he and other members visionary book, Rose pres-
of his extended family have ents an urbanism that’s not
continued in the family busi- merely aesthetic and practi-
ness. For his part, Jonathan cal. With concrete examples
has distinguished himself of both the good and the bad,
by merging his develop- he offers a plan for city-mak-
ment interests with concerns ing that fosters community,
about the effect of the built vitality, and well-being in
environment on the natural harmony with nature, not at
world and on well-being. its expense.

THE WISDOM OF NOT KNOWING


Discovering a Life of Wonder
by Embracing Uncertainty
Estelle Frankel ƈ Shambhala

Estelle Frankel, a practicing the only valid perspective.”


psychotherapist and teacher Too often we allow our fears
of Jewish mysticism, has to shape our imagination;
written a timely new book this prevents genuine pos-
about daring to not know. sibility from emerging in our
Certainty in extreme situa- lives, and holds us back from
tions, she says in a passage taking risks and venturing
that resonates today, can into the unknown. Frankel
lead to bigotry and hatred, suggests that we should use
which “thrive in environ- our imagination to embrace
ments where people are too the possibilities that not
certain—when they think knowing can offer us, and as
they know the truth and con- a result, “our lives and our
sider their version of it to be consciousness expand.” ●

84 mindful June 2017


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mindspace
notice what you notice

The heart pounds away, day after day, so synced up to our


every movement we don’t even notice. Yet it sustains us. Soft
and vulnerable beneath our breast, it’s no wonder this big, red
muscle is the universal symbol for loving and feeling. To live is
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our inner worlds with the lives all around us.

88 mindful June 2017 By Claire Ciel ZimmermanƈIllustration by Annick Gaudreault


8 simple shapes.
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