The Question: What is your background?

College Essay

Since I was young, I’ve been surrounded by family who gives me love and support. Even
though I loved my family, I realized that I only knew one side of them, my moms side. My
ethnicity is half Mexican on my dads side, and half Filipino on my moms side, my mom’s side of
the family lived here so they were always around. Dad’s family lives in San Antonio, my family
and I went down to visit them when I was around 7 years old. From what I can remember, all my
dads siblings, and all my cousins were gathered at his mom’s house for the evening. The ranch
house was filled with the sound and smell of cooking, my abuela and tia Maria were making
homemade tortillas in the kitchen, they even let my sister and I help them make a few. Before
dinner, my cousins, who are older than my sister and I, took us with them to a park near the
house. The beams of the setting sun made sweat drip down my back as I watched my cousins
jump off the swing at its highest point. Even though I was happy being there, I still felt awkward
and out of place because I couldn’t talk to my abuela in her language, or have the same
features as my cousins.This was the last time we went down to visit them.
In 3rd grade I met my first best friend Jakie, her Guatemalan family all spoke Spanish
and were surprised that I did not know the language. As I began my middle school years I
became more self conscious of who I was. Being around my Filipino family so much I became
ashamed of being apart of them, it was seen as uncool because at the time, Mexican culture
was more mainstream. Asains in the media were joked for their looks and were stereotyped for
their knowledge. When I visited my dad's family before, they all spoke spanish, including my
dad. Since he never taught me I felt so out of place, people called me a “ fake mexican”
because I failed to look one or sound like one. I became ashamed of looking and being too
asain, and not mexican enough. I became torn between who I should be.
As I got older I became closer to understand my lola and lolos, grandma and grandpa,
backgrounds and I became less ashamed about being asian and started it. With my hispanic
background I still felt like an outcast in my own culture because I don’t have the physical
features, and don’t know the language and only know the history through what I’ve learned
through school. Despite all this, I am getting better at accepting both halves of my culture and
want to embrace each as I grow.