Tampus 1

Ethan Tampus

Professor Klaiman and Professor Millar

First Year Seminar

20 September 2019

Reflection

The exercise was enjoyable, and to receive perspectives of another being was shocking,

not in a good or bad way. What is interesting is having perception of oneself, but at the same

time hearing how another’s view almost completely contradicts one’s original perception.

Upon hearing that the class had to take 10 selfies, I thought it would be no sweat.

However, taking the time to take pictures that reflected my vision and identity as an artist took

some time and deep soul searching. The selfies I had used for the assignment were by no means

the “deepest” upon first glance, but the value I had for each was immeasurable, and I believed

those pictures reflected my values in a way that no other set of words or pictures could have.

Charcoal sketching was very enticing and enjoyable. I do not consider myself a visual

artist, and my motor skills are not the most fluid, as it can be seen in my penmanship. No matter

how hard I tried to copy the original, the shapes just ended up being different. I found myself

frustrated at certain points, and that I had not gotten a lot done due to striving for perfection,

even to the most minute detail. Upon walking into that second class of charcoal work though, I

figured, there is no authenticity in trying to be perfect, and that all my motor flaws and skills

should be respected and cherished, as it contributes to my authenticity as an artist.

The drawing itself turned out quite nicely, but filling in the negative space around the

drawing of me took another series of soul searching. I decided to draw inspiration from the What
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It Is book by Lynda Barry, in that I tried not to stick to conformity. I used the combination of my

memory and imagination to form words and images around me that best reflected my meaning as

a storyteller, and a creator. What was seen in the negative space had by no means any sort of

pattern, and the ideas that came up on the page seemed to look disarrayed, as they could not stick

to a certain theme. However, reading the Barry book in a way allowed me to take a trip inside

my own mind and really figure out how it worked. Upon thinking about it for a while, I realized

my own mind had no sort of conformity to it, and I decided to speak my mind through the series

of visuals that appeared in the negative space. It is so fascinating to see how all the complex

processes and images going on in one’s head makes up a person as a whole. For me personally, I

am not surprised my partner had differing ideas about their perception of me, because my mind

is very unpredictable, just as anybody else's.

I realized the selfies were an important part and to me, they were the root of it all. The

first thing anybody sees about another person is appearance. What better way to judge oneself

than by taking selfies and analyzing them. What was more challenging was having someone look

at the selfies. For me as an actor, I am very self conscious about my appearance at all times, as it

is the first thing people see on camera or on stage. Looking at these selfies, I knew exactly what I

was thinking at the time of taking these, and I had aimed to take them in such a way that it would

give off a certain message to someone seeing them. It was so shocking upon hearing an outside

perspective of how the selfie appeared, and how it almost contradicted my identity. My identity

is my own, but it does not mean that that is the way I play it towards other people, even when I

think I do. In other words, the way people view me is different than the way I view myself.
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After the process and going through the motions of this project, I believe my views of

myself are unchanged, however, it was in a way refreshing to hear comments about the way I

might have unintentionally presented myself to people. I can use this project as a base for self

improvement, and hearing someone else’s view of me can help alter my external projection of

thoughts and feelings in a way that others can be affected the way I want them to. It will help me

to articulate my identity in a better way for people to understand.