Exercise 7-2: Active Listening and“I”Messages

Active listening involves restatement (of the words of the sender), reflection (of the words and underlying feelings of
the sender), and clarification (summarizes and focuses the sender’s message). Practice writing all 3 types of responses.

Restatement
Sender Response From You
I’m very worried about my shortness of breath. You’re worried about your shortness of breath?

I used to be able to jog for a whole hour, but now my

joints start to ache.
I wish I could swim for 100 laps without getting so tired.

Reflection
Sender Response From You
This pain has been going on for months now. I just wish Your pain just drags on and you wish to relieve it.
someone would fix it for me or someone would help. Perhaps you’re concerned that it will never go away?
Yesterday was a good day, but today I feel the same
old way.
It’s hard remembering to do my exercises.

I want to get better, but it’s hard.

Clarification
Sender Response From You
I wish someone would tell me what’s going on with You’re worried that your knee problem might be
my knees. When I get up in the morning they’re fine, arthritis, and that you’ll never be rid of it?
but by noon they’re swollen and feel tired. I’m too
young to be suffering with joint problems. Is this arthri-
tis or what? Do I have to live with this forever?
So when the chiropractor told me I had a curved spine
and I had to keep coming back for more adjustments
every day, I felt that surely there must be something I
could do for myself. I got a little frustrated by having so
little to do to help myself.
I almost didn’t make it here. I got a horrible headache
as I was driving here. The traffic is so stressful in this
city. Will it ever end? New cars every day on the road.
I don’t know if I can keep up driving with these head-
aches. Is there anything you can do for me?

© SLACK Incorporated, 2016. Davis CA, Musolino GM. Patient Practitioner Interaction: An Experiential Manual for
Developing the Art of Health Care, Sixth Edition. Thorofare, NJ: SLACK Incorporated; 2016.
 Read each situation and the “you” message (blaming response) and then write an “I” message in the third column.

Situation “You” Message “I” Message

The aide has neglected to clean What’s the matter with you? Are I’m confused and frustrated. For
the whirlpool for 3 days in a row. you getting lazy or what? 3 days the whirlpool hasn’t been
cleaned. What’s the problem?

Your patient has arrived late and You’re late again! Now I’m going
set your schedule back by a half- to be a half-hour behind for the
hour all day. last 3 treatment sessions.

The patient seems depressed and You’re so quiet lately. Did I do

has been reluctant to speak up for something to make you mad?
several days.

© SLACK Incorporated, 2016. Davis CA, Musolino GM. Patient Practitioner Interaction: An Experiential Manual for
Developing the Art of Health Care, Sixth Edition. Thorofare, NJ: SLACK Incorporated; 2016.