MEJARITO, Ivy G.

HE 100
2012-50488` Prof. Beth
Asiddao

Reaction on a Movie on Filipino Family/Society: Sa’yo Lamang

Sa’yo Lamang is a Filipino movie depicting the wounds inflicted to a family
abandoned by their father, how they healed and how they rebuilt relationships
among the family members. It shows how love and forgiveness could overcome the
greatest pain given the right amount of time.
The focus of the movie is a family, a broken family to be specific. When
Amanda was left by his husband (Franco) for another woman, her eldest daughter
Dianne (who was 15-year old then) did everything to help in raising her siblings
(Coby, James and Lisa). Dianne gave up the love of her life and dreams to fulfill the
roles that his father was supposed to assume. Through the years, her mother and
she were able to provide successfully for their family. Ten years later, the family was
living happily when Franco decided to return. This unexpected turn of event unravel
the hidden pain and anger of each family member all those years when their father
went missing-in-action. As Franco returned, Dianne out rightly show and told his
father all her resentment in the coldest ways possible. Meanwhile, Coby was excited
to see Franco again while James and Lisa did not know what to make out of their
father. He tried to be a father and a husband but soon realized that the wounds he
inflicted to his children were too fatal and they needed more time to heal. Aside
from the family problems, each character developed their struggle in life and has to
deal with it individually. James lost his scholarship while Coby got her girlfriend
pregnant. Dianne had to deal with her former boyfriend because the guy wants her
back in his life. Franco got his mistress impregnated. A flashback also revealed that
it wasn’t only Franco who committed infidelity but Amanda as well. Their burden got
even worse when Amanda was diagnosed with a terminal stage of cervical cancer.
As she told her family, they began to set aside their individual differences and be
together for their mother. Eventually, reconciliation took place as the children gave
chances for Franco to be a father to them. Amanda died peacefully while the family
managed to straighten their relationship.
The problems of the family depicted in the movie deals with the effects of
negligence of parental duties to the individual life of the family members.
Specifically, the absence of the father in the lives of her children for 10 years and
how it created an impact to their individual lives which molded them into the person
they were. For example, Dianne developed practicality but became very stone-
hearted. She even said that she failed to be a sister to her siblings because all those
time she had to be their father. Her authority in the house overpowered her
relationship as a caring elder sister. Instead of viewing her as a caring and
responsible ‘ate’, her siblings see her as a dominant and bossy person who needs to
be pleased and obeyed. Just as experienced in most families, sibling insecurities
emerged in this story. The opposite characters of Coby and James resulted to a
conflict between them. The comparison they kept receiving from their ‘ate’ affected
how they value themselves and how they make life decisions. In effect, the children
tried to complete themselves by doing various things in life. This is very evident in
the character of Coby. The absence of love his father and attention from his family
had forced him to find these from other temporary things such as sex and alcohol.
He felt insignificant and insecure hence he resorted to do rebellious things to prove
that he is indeed a disappointment. Meanwhile, the other brother (James) tried to
cover the missing part of him with recognitions and achievements. He thought that
his role as a child and sibling in the family could be solely gotten from being
responsible and achiever. In effect, his means to do so became extreme and he
forgot that he means much more to his family.
After watching, it dawned to me that both physical and emotional wounds will
really take time to heal, with the latter needing longer period of time. Forgiveness
cannot be given forcefully but should really come from the heart. During rocky
times, a family should not stop to re-establish their relationship no matter how hard
it will be because struggles are normal for all families. It may not be easy but time
and genuine effort will help in mending broken relationships. Another lesson I’ve
learned from is the importance of communication among the family members.
Conversations of the family reveal the experiences of each member which can help
them build trust and understand each other better.
The issues tackled in the movie were generic (i.e. broken family, trust issues,
insecurities) but the specifics may vary when seen in real-life situations. As I said,
practical ways to strengthen the bonds between family members include
conversations to enhance communication. Doing things together (be it a simple
household chores or a complicated decision), opinions and cooperation from the
members will help in arriving to a good decision. This practice also increases the
self-and familial worth of each member. As for the husband and wife, trust and
honesty are crucial foundations to a lasting marriage. Hence, being truthful is
deemed necessary to make the marital relationship stronger and realistic. Lastly, as
the character of Lauren Young said, there are only two ways we respond to family
situations: either we ‘do nothing and pity ourselves’ or ‘we accept the situation and
do something about it ‘. No matter how hard, I recommend choosing the latter.