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6 Tips to Ease the Transition to Toddlerhood
Toddlers are loving, playful, generous beings at heart—no matter how hard it may
feel to live with them when they are having a rough day. They are curious explor-
ers and can be intensely passionate about things we adults find hard to under-
stand. We’ve collected some tips to keep in mind as your sweet baby transitions
into toddlerhood. We’ve also included lots of links to more in-depth information
to help you both along the way.
Your toddler craves your attention as much as ever and yet staying fully
emotionally present with a toddler for even just a few hours and dealing with
each emotional upset and frustration is exhausting. You may need to pace
your attention and having a schedule of daily Special Time can be a huge help.

At this stage it can be very easy for children to lose their sense of connection
to you and the insecurity of feeling like they are outside the circle of your
attention can send them into off-track behavior. Set limits for your toddler as
soon as you think they might be needed, i.e. before your own frustration with
the situation bubbles over. Set limits with warmth and attention. Children
who are off-track can’t think well. They can’t process what we tell them, so they don’t
do what we ask. You will need to physically bring the limit to your toddler. Don’t tell
them to stop. Make “Stop” happen. Your new mantra may become, “Listen, Limit, Lis-
ten.” Listen to the situation or ask what’s going on, set a limit on unreasonable behav-
ior, then listen to whatever feelings may come spilling out once that limit is set.

Meltdowns are a fact of life. And, as overwhelming as a full-on toddler


tantrum may feel, they are mostly a healthy sign that your child is using the
natural process he was born with to offload the stress and frustration of
being a small person in a big-person’s world. Stay close. Stay calm. And try to
remember that tantrums can actual smooth (OK, maybe sand-blast) the way
forward to your child’s next leap of development.

Youngsters love to share—most of the time. What makes the difference


between children’s generous moments and the not-so-generous ones? Shar-
ing can be hard if children build up tension from previous playtime glitches or
don’t have the opportunity to fully resolve sibling squabbles.
Toddlers are increasingly physical. This may mean lots of wrestling and
climbing and jumping and learning to skip. It might mean power struggles
over the car seat. Or it could also mean biting, hitting, and pulling hair. It
might even mean there comes a day when your toddler hits you. Remember
you have not failed at parenting if this happens! When toddlers hit, they are
not “being bad,” they are not out to get you, and they are often very afraid underneath.
The thing to do is to gently, calmly move your child’s arm away from the person he’s
hitting, so he can’t hit again. You may also want to prepare yourself for the moment
when another child hurts your child as this can be an especially charged moment for
parents.

Separation can become a big issue for some toddlers. They may have a
difficult time with the social rituals around comings and goings, especially
if they are expected to hug or kiss adults they don’t know very well. They
may find it hard to stay in their own beds at night. Toddlers often need
some help adjusting to new childcare arrangements and can develop a strong prefer-
ence for one parent over the other.

Toddlers have many lessons for us as parents. Your child may renew your sense of
wonder in the everyday world. Or show you what vitally important and emotional work
parenting can be. Toddlers can challenge us right down to our bones but they can also
delight us as they brilliantly find ways to laugh through their fears and challenges.
We hope these tips and the articles they link to will help you enjoy your child’s toddler-
hood and build a close and warm connection with your child that lasts a lifetime.

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