Jen Cancelliere I grew up in a traditional Italian Catholic family and growing up I thought that once I

was married, I would be having children naturally. Words like fertility clinic, IVF, IUI were never in my
vocabulary.
I have been married for 6 years and we have been trying not have a family ever since. I have decided two
years ago to seek the help of a specialist and we turned to Hannam Fertility and now Trio. I have had 4
failed IUI’s and I have been suggested that IVF is our next step.
I have been trying to stay from IVF because of how I have been raised and what the Catholic Church has to
say about it (not natural, it’s wrong, etc.).
I was wondering if there is someone out there who is/ was in the same situation as me. How did you deal
with it? Did you go through IVF and how do you feel about it?
I have been placed in the funding government list for IVF and the wait time is a year. I don’t know if I
should take a year to take a break from everything and anything related to fertility and give my body a
break (while waiting for the funding) or continue with IVF in the new year.

1Kate Eisnor-Porco Jen Cancelliere I was raised and am a practicing catholic my husband is an Italian
catholic. Our desire to have a family to us was more important than what we knew about the Church’s
position on fertility treatments. So here we are 8 years later raising three beautiful Catholic
children and I don’t think God would have wanted it any other way for us 💕 I wish
you the best of luck and hope you find the answer you need. Xo

Jen Goncalves Williams Kate said it perfectly. I am also Catholic and gave birth to an IVF baby. Do what
you feel is right for your family

Hrnakshi Joashi It all depends on reasoning. While God did intend on having us reproduce naturally,
there are a few things that He provided us which we can reflect on:
1. Why would God give you a uterus if he did not intend for you to carry a baby?
2. In the Bible it is clearly mentioned that all disease and health related problems are not creations of God.
3. God gave us intellect for what? Today if there are advances in the medical field, it's because of God's
grace. If you go by the logic of 'natural', most modern medicine isn't. Does that mean you don't vaccinate
your kids or go through surgery if need be? Do you not take antibiotics when sick? or get treated by
chemotherapy if there is cancer? If you go by the 'all natural' formula you should have done none of these
things.
Last but not the least...
4. God gave us free will. It's obviously for a purpose... so we can take decisions that are good for us as long
as we don't break any of the ten commandments n hurt others.

Whitney Smith I’m Anglican. We have many similar beliefs to Catholics but no blanket restrictions on
IVF. My church says people should prayerfully seek God’s will for them and their family.

Having been through many different treatments I can say that God is in the details. The doctors can do
everything right and it still doesn’t work. Even if they extract healthy eggs and inject them with healthy
sperm, some of them still won’t fertilize and science has no idea why. Or you can have a perfect embryo
that is transferred to a perfect uterus and a pregnancy doesn’t result. You can’t force God’s hand.

But you can also head into an impossible situation and take home a baby (I did).

Whitney Smith I will say that my religion impacted my view on what to do with leftover embryos. If you
decide IVF is right for you, give that some thought. You will have to say where excess embryos can go
(donate to another person, donate to science, destroy, or keep frozen indefinitely.)
Is there anyone here who had unsuccessful IVF and ended up getting pregnant
naturally?
Laurel Sydney Formosa Me! Low amh and poor egg quality. History of blighted ovums. 2 failed iui with
blighted ovums , ivf was a complete fail 8 ret, 4 mature , 2 died during icsi , and the other 2 fertilized
abnormally and would have been blighted ovums again. That was in aug/sept. I got super negative about
the whole thing and was repressing everything that happened (don't do this I realize it's not healthy) I
stopped even tracking when my next cycle would be went to make a grocery list and wondered when.id
need to buy tampons and found I was 2 days late. Then I held my breath for 6 more weeks to see if it was
another blighted ovum or an actual baby...We saw a heart beat last week. Life is weird sometimes I hope
that gives you some hope that anything is possible
11


Jen Cancelliere Thanks for giving me hope. How long ago did your fertility journey started? Iui&
ivf?

Laurel Sydney Formosa 3+ years we did the iuis and then Sat on waitlist for ivf for a year and a half before
it was our turn

Kelly Gallacher Me!
Numerous iuis, 2 failed ivf transfers. In July I read the book it starts with the egg. My husband and I started
taking the recommended supplements and I became pregnant in October. I’m 38.

 Jen Cancelliere What supplements are recommended in the book and how long did you take
them for?

Kelly Gallacher Jen Cancelliere I was taking Thorne prenatal, vit e, nac, ubiquinol, and r alpha liporic acid.
Starting taking them in August. And stopped taking them when I got a positive test in October.


Sara Na I had 5failed iuis...1ivf got two embryos placed both of them in and got pregnant...but miscarried
at 8 weeks....2months later i got pregnant naturally....although i lost it again but it tells me miracles can
happen. Good luck

Katy Mackenzie Sort of. We think it was sex and IUI. You could search for my story. It is long. 4
retrievals. Pregnant from cancelled 5th retrieval.

Coral Bailey I did but it didn’t end in a born baby. Did 1 retrieval and 4 transfer. 1sr transfer was a
chemical. The next 3 all unsuccessful and then the month after my last transfer conceived on our own. In
October it was 4 years of trying and ended up pregnant in June. Ended at 8 weeks though. At least we know
it’s possible though!

Jen Cancelliere Thanks you everyone for sharing your experience. I am new in this journey and don’t
have anyone around me who is been going through this as I am surrounded by people who get pregnant
instantly and I am patiently sitting in the bleachers...😢 but I am hopeful that one day it will happen to me
as well.1

Kelc Sp Hoping for this outcome. We have male factor and required IVF with ICSI, retrieved 13 eggs
on Dec.4, 7 fertilized, did a day 3 transfer. No embryos made it to freeze and just did my beta Tuesday and
it was negative. At a complete loss and now hoping and wishing natural miraculous happens for us 😢😢
Jen Cancelliere I grew up in a traditional Italian Catholic family and growing up I thought that once I
was married, I would be having children naturally. Words like fertility clinic, IVF, IUI were never in my
vocabulary.
I have been married for 6 years and we have been trying not have a family ever since. I have decided two
years ago to seek the help of a specialist and we turned to Hannam Fertility and now Trio. I have had 4
failed IUI’s and I have been suggested that IVF is our next step.
I have been trying to stay from IVF because of how I have been raised and what the Catholic Church has to
say about it (not natural, it’s wrong, etc.).
I was wondering if there is someone out there who is/ was in the same situation as me. How did you deal
with it? Did you go through IVF and how do you feel about it?
I have been placed in the funding government list for IVF and the wait time is a year. I don’t know if I
should take a year to take a break from everything and anything related to fertility and give my body a
break (while waiting for the funding) or continue with IVF in the new year.

 Jenna Paquin Jen, religion should never come in between you and your values and your wants in
life. A book shouldn’t define you. A story shouldn’t deter you from your life long dream of having
a family.

 Jen Cancelliere Thank you for your words.

  Melissa Pearson Jen Cancelliere I have a couple of great aunts who are nuns and they have met
our Ivf miracle baby and they say she is a true blessing from God.

Holly Todd I am Catholic as well, but I wouldnt consider ourselves truly practicing. In more then one mass
our priest has brought up IVF and said it was okay and that's how some people have to grow their family, I
was shocked! I also grew up being taught "God is in control, what is ment to be will happen." I work as a
PICU nurse, there are so many sweet children that are unwell and some that dont get better. I do believe in
God, and I believe that everything happens for a reason even though we often times dont know what that
reason is. I also believe that it's ok to do whatever it is/isnt you're comfortable with as that is God's plan. I
think this is something your and your husband need to talk about, it really isnt anyone else's business. You
should absolutely continue to try naturally over the next year while waiting for IVF, but you also need to
feel in your heart that you may potentially not grow your biological family naturally and be ok with that (if
you choose not to proceed with IVF). Ps I'm at TRIO as well ♡

Jessica De Mello Jen Cancelliere from the Catholic standpoint, we spoke to our priest when we underwent
it. He didn’t say it was against the church or religion, the concern (and I use that term lightly) was if you
have extra embryos and discard them - as that was seen as waste of life. We were at Trio, ultimately IVF
didn’t work for us but if it did, Trio would have been able to implant any extra embryos (once we were
done having kids) at a time when we knew those embryos would not take and that was in accordance with
the Catholic Church as we did not throw out life but they simply did not stick. I’m did not read all the
comments so not sure if someone addressed this already! And for what it’s worth, I’m Portuguese catholic
background married to a Catholic Italian, so I understand where your coming from!

As for taking a break, best thing I ever did! I took four months off, against Trios advice, came back did IUI
and we now have a 5 weeks old little lady! Wishing you luck!

Dianna Di Donato Marques I am too of the same background. My parents and family would rather see me
succeed in having children vs being in a dark depression because I cannot naturally have children.
I guess it all just depends how you feel about it first and foremost and how your family will take it.

My personal opinion iui is almost exactly the same as IVF just few differences like retrieving the eggs and
fertilizing them vs insemination.
It would depend on your age if you should take a break or not as well as financial factor.

 Jen Cancelliere I am 34 years old. The issue that IVF are the embryos being grown in a pitri
dish and the discarding of embryos since according to the Catholic religion, they are human
beings.

Dianna Di Donato Marques Jen Cancelliere ah yes i understand that.

It’s a hard decision you’ll have to make hun, personally I wouldn’t wait the year.
Wishing you the best of luck!

Jen Cancelliere Thanks!

Rachel Leigh Jen Cancelliere when we did IVF we decided that if we had any left over embryos we would
donate them.
Caitlin Emily Jen Cancelliere hi Jen, I am also 34. We are Christian and faced similar considerations when
approaching IVF. We spent a lot of time in prayer to best understand what we were going to do.
As for natural or not, we saw it as a medical condition vs playing God. If we treated infertility that way that
would be like artificially treating other ailments. We took into account that God giveths and takeths life and
is the author and creator of all life regardless of whether that life it created “naturally” or not. We don’t
create life so however it comes to be is not of our understanding of natural.
As for the embryos, we knew we would never discard any as they are considered human beings. We knew
that however many we had we would transfer. We have done 3 IVF cycles. 38 eggs. But from that only 11
ever divided to become transferable. The rest arrested or never divided and thus were not humans. Of the
11 we have transferred 9 so far. We had one miscarriage and one has become our daughter. We have two
more embryos frozen and will transfer those too. The next thing we will take to prayer is whether to do
another IVF if the last two don’t work. We are considering a mini stim cycle to reduce the number of
embryos but not entirely sure just yet.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or thoughts or “religious” considerations you’d like another
view point on. 😢
Tess Hardy I grew up Catholic, but not really a strong practicing catholic. I went to catholic school ect. It's
not across the board that Catholics feel that way. I talked to my old Bishop when I was visiting home a few
weeks ago and told him how my 2nd was conce…Altro...


Emily Sabatowski I grew up Catholic, but stopped practicing in my teens and these days I don't have
much belief. However I do believe in something (hard to put into words what exactly it is) so the biggest
thing for me was do we do genetic testing. These could include downs syndrome etc. We made the choice
not to do PGS/PGD testing and whatever we are handed, we will deal with. For us, it took 'playing God' a
little out of it.
Heather Heather Thanks for posting this, I am in the same situation and I encouraged by all these comments
1
Gia Kelly I, too, am Italian and grew up in a Catholic family. To be honest, no one has ever said one thing
to me about our doing IVF, including the church or family. I think we’re so far past that as a society now
(or at least I’d like to think we are). I’ve had nothing but support from my family and church. I’m hoping
you experience the same 😢

Tanya Nakogee I prayed about it. I continue to pray about it. God is the only one I have to answer to for the
decisions I make. ❤️

Amber Gee Bol I no longer view any recommendations from the Catholic Church as legitimate given their
complete unwillingness to address sexual abuse perpetrated by their priests and nuns.
“Oh, IVF is wrong? Please elaborate on that while explaining how it’s ok that…Altro...

Jessica Marie I am also Italian catholic. My family has no issue with IVF, the more babies the better 😢. I
went and made an appointment with my priest and talked to him at length about our decision after the birth
of our son and it really put me at ease with our decision.
Michele Ramos I was raised Roman Catholic in a Portuguese family. My wife is Polish & Irish, also raised
Roman Catholic. We obviously had already tackled a lot of our families beliefs being same sex and I no
longer follow the religion at all. We saw IVF as a medical…Altro...


Emily Simek Doesnt the catholic church want people to "go forth and multiply"? Don't they want
people to care for the needy (aka orphans)? Doesn't God (or whatever you want to believe in) want you to
be happy? I'm a non practicing catholic but I would find any objections to IVF or adoption very
hypocritical.
1

Jessica Mitchell-Shoup I am also catholic and though I never struggled with the choice of IVF or not from a
religious stand point, I do sometimes worry about my daughters facing negative reactions if placed in
catholic school. My husband is completely against catholic school for this reason. We plan to be
completely open with our girls about our journey to them. They are complete miracles in our eyes and
something to be celebrated 😢
2

 Tess Hardy Jessica Mitchell-Shoup my duaghter is in Catholic school. Mostly becuase the
structure is better and in my area most of my friends said put her in if we could as they have a
much better rep then the public schools. She is not a IVF baby but her brother…Altro...


Jessica Mitchell-Shoup My religion honestly didn’t cross my mind when deciding whether or not to do
IVF. In my mind, this has been God’s plan all along. However my step sister said in her high school
religion class they were told IVF is “wrong”, and goes against God’s will. I’m sure it depends on the
school, and probably the teacher.

Jen Cancelliere What a beautiful answer Jessica. Your daughters are miracles!😢😢

Tess Hardy Jessica Mitchell-Shoup most likely. My high school catholic religious class mentioned nothing
about IVF. All it talked about was sex and the teenager lol.


Rene Ferrandina Foliot I was born and raised catholic. No longer a practicing catholic but am still a
christian. I like to think God used doctors/science to help my husband and I have our miracle baby. People
are given strengths and talents on this earth for specific/special reasons and Fertility doctors are one of
them 😢
Erin Marie Hardeman I was also raised in a religious home, but for me I felt my calling was to be a mom.
We're human, we have choices, I do not believe God would let there be science to help if he didn't want
that. He intended us to be mothers. I'm a single mom by choice by choice. Not by chance- and I
also believe God wants me to be happy-not abused on a daily basis, and one day will
send a good man into my life. Until then, I'll raise my son to love God, be a good man,
and good human.

Jessica Pillon I was raised catholic too. The two main reasons that the church is
against IVF, is that 1)Conception is occurring outside of the womb and our body is "a
temple of the Lord " and
2) the amount of leftover embryos and the destruction of them after the family is
complete because life begins at conception.
So here's my thoughts...1) God is everywhere, including the lab
2) Either ask your RE to only fertilize a few eggs at a time or make the decision to
donate leftover embryos to another family. I wish you all the best

Michelle GJ I struggled with this moreso from the idea of having multiple viable embryos after the
procedure(s). I looked into maybe doing a few eggs at a time, but given the losses from eggs retrieved to
mature eggs to fertilized eggs and then surviving embryos, it's a good thing I didn't. But now, I am faced
with the moral dilemma of what to do with our surviving PGS normal embryos (donation or transfer). Part
of this struggle for me is trying to figure out when I believe life begins and whether that aligns with church
teachings.

I can see the perspective of the church on the IVF and IUI issue (they are also against IUI), but I disagree as
I see it as a medical procedure no different than preventing/curing diseases. I think I'd feel differently if
IVF guaranteed a healthy pregnancy, but that mysterious "X" factor remains for things to happen which I
think is the divine.

Also wanted to say that there are clinics with much shorter funded lists. I switched to Create from Trio for
this reason and also because they make you wait one month between failed transfers. And at Create it's your
RE that does the procedures unless they are away.

Pam N George I am a Christian and I have never forgot what our pastor said one time.

Someone asked him about getting the flu shot. His response was, I am going to get the shot because God
blesses many doctors to help people and it is our responsibility to take the step in order to accept it.

For me my understanding from that is God put certain people in our paths and he gives us the choice when
it comes to those individuals, but we also need to reach out and do our part in the journeys that come our
way (of course through prayer and faith).

If your heart is unsettled about it then pray about it more. Talk with the doctor see if you find peace at that
time.
I know for us when we talked with our doctor there was a sense of peace.

I wish you guys the best of luck and I truly hope you find a calmness in your answer.