GUIDELINES

Katibok: PART 1 - WHAT IS LOVE?

ISSUES:

1. What is Love?
2. What is the difference of Infatuation and Love?
3. Where does Love comes from? Who is Love?

Infatuation Love Ellen G. White’s Writings

Chapter 148—True Love
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not
a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither
1. Is composed of feeling AND unreasonable nor blind. Taught by the Holy Spirit, they love God supremely, and
1. Is composed only of feelings principle (True love) their neighbor as themselves. {Message to Young People 435.1}
(Infatuation)
See: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Chapter 7 – True Love or Infatuation
True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that
love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely
tested.{Adventist Home 50.3}
That love which has no better foundation than mere sensual gratification will be
headstrong, blind, and uncontrollable. Honor, truth, and every noble, elevated
power of the mind are brought under the slavery of passions. The man who is
bound in the chains of this infatuation is too often deaf to the voice of reason and
conscience; neither argument nor entreaty can lead him to see the folly of his
2. It is Blind 2. It Sees and Examines course. {AH 51.1}

Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with
whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of
the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may
love, do not love blindly. {Counsel on Courtship and Marriage}
Love Must Be Worked At
Love is a plant of heavenly growth, and it must be fostered and nourished.
3. It is in a Hurry 3. It takes Time Affectionate hearts, truthful, loving words, will make happy families and exert an
elevating influence upon all who come within the sphere of their influence.
{Counsel on Courtship and Marriage}
4. It is concerned with Internals True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and
4. It is obsessed with External (Pangloob na ugali/karakter) deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities
(Panlabas na anyo) alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.{AH 51.2}
See: 1 Samuel 16:7
5. It is Childish- ‘Give-me-
5. It is Mature
attitude’

6. It’s a Human Ditch 6. It is a Divine Ladder

 GUIDELINES
Katibok: PART 2 – PRINCIPLE OF COURTSHIP

ISSUES: Katibok: PART 3 – HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE?

1. What is Dating? What is Courtship? ISSUES:

2. What are the guidelines of dating?
3. What are the wrong practices in courtship? A. To whom should one seek for a guide?
B. What are the factors that needs to be considered in making the right choice
Guidelines of Dating of a marriage partner?
C. What are the questions that need to be asked to one self in making choice of
1. Socializing: Spend quality time together a marriage partner?
2. Create a safe environment D. What should a Young Man should look for in a Wife?
3. Say ‘no’ to Sexual Activity E. What should a Young Woman should look for in a Husband?
4. Communication: Ask wise questions
5. Learn as you listen
A. The ‘Guides’ for Making Decision
{I Love You book, Chapter 2}
1. Bible
Wrong practices/forms of courtship 2. Prayer
1. Spirit of flirtation 3. Wisdom of the Older and Experienced Persons
2. Impure thoughts 4. Parents
3. Keeping late hours {Adventist Home Chapter 10}
4. Trifling of hearts
5. Courtship is unknown to the lady’s parents B. Factors

{Adventist Home, Chapter 8} 1. Spiritual life/ Personal relationship with the Lord
2. Family relationship
3. Personality
4. Ambition
5. Health
6. Wealth
7. Culture
8. Age

{I Love You book, Chapter 3)

C. Question to One Self

Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious

and wretched. Let the questions be raised,

 Will this union help me heavenward?

 Will it increase my love for God?
 And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?
 GUIDELINES
If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move
forward. {Adventist Home 45.2} forward. {Adventist Home 45.2}

D. What should a Young Man should look for in a Wife (Please see the reading C. What should a Young Man should look for in a Wife (Please see the reading
materials) materials)

E. What should a Young Woman should look for in a Husband? (Please see the D. What should a Young Woman should look for in a Husband? (Please see the
reading materials) reading materials)

Katibok: PART 4 – HAPPILY SINGLE

ISSUES:

A. What are the factors that needs to be considered in making the right choice
of a marriage partner?
B. What are the questions that need to be asked to one self in making choice of
a marriage partner?
C. What should a Young Man should look for in a Wife?
D. What should a Young Woman should look for in a Husband?

Jesus Did Not Enforce Celibacy—Those who regard the marriage relation as one of
God’s sacred ordinances, guarded by His holy precept, will be controlled by the
dictates of reason.1 AH 121.1 Jesus did not enforce celibacy upon any class of men.
He came not to destroy the sacred relationship of marriage, but to exalt it and restore
it to its original sanctity. He looks with pleasure upon the family relationship where
sacred and unselfish love bears sway. {AH 121.2}

A. Factors

Spiritual life/ Personal relationship with the Lord

{I Love You book, Chapter 3)

B. Question to One Self

Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious

and wretched. Let the questions be raised,

 Will this union help me heavenward?

 Will it increase my love for God?
 And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?