MACBETH – ACT II MODERNIZED TRANSLATION

ACT II, SCENE I

Macbeth’s castle. Banquo and Fleance are on their way to bed, carrying a flashlight.

BANQUO.
How late is it, son?

FLEANCE.
I dunno… it’s dark, and I haven’t heard the clock strike.

BANQUO.
The clock stops striking at twelve.

FLEANCE.
I guess it’s later than that, then, sir.

BANQUO.
Here, hold my sword. I guess they’re trying to save money on their electric bill in heaven, because the stars are all out.
Hold this too. I am so tired, but I just can’t sleep. God, please let me stop thinking so I can sleep!
Macbeth and his servant come in with a flashlight too.
Give me my sword back! Who’s there?

MACBETH.
A friend.

BANQUO.
Hey, man, you still haven’t gone to sleep? The king’s already in bed. He’s been in such a good mood that he sent
presents to all your servants. He even gave your wife a diamond as a hostess gift! Then he went to bed all happy.

MACBETH.
We weren’t able to be the good hosts we wanted to be because we were unprepared.

BANQUO.
Everything’s fine. I dreamed last night about those witches. One of the things they told you came true!

MACBETH.
I don’t think about them. However, when we’ve got time to talk about it, I want to discuss the whole thing with you.

BANQUO.
Whenever you want to talk, that’s fine.

MACBETH.
If you help me get mine, I will make sure you get yours.

BANQUO.
I’ll be happy to help you as long as you don’t ask me to do something that would make me feel guilty.

MACBETH.
Well… have a good night’s sleep.

BANQUO.
Thanks. You too.
Banquo and Fleance leave.

MACBETH.
Go tell my wife that when she’s finished making my drink to ring the bell. Then you should go to bed.
The servant leaves.
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
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Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight, or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshal’st me the way that I was going;
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are the fools o’ th’ other senses,
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still;
And thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There’s no such thing.
It is the bloody business which informs
Thus to mine eyes. Now o’er the one half-world
Nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse
The curtained sleep; witchcraft celebrates
Pale Hecate’s offerings; and withered murder,
Alarumed by his sentinel, the wolf,
Whose howl’s his watch, this with his stealthy pace,
With Tarquin’s ravishing strides, towards his design
Moves like a ghost. Thou sure and firm-set earth,
Hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear
Thy very stones prate of my whereabout,
And take the present horror from the time,
Which now suits with it. Whiles I threat, he lives:
Words to the head of deeds too cold breath gives.
A bell rings.
I’m going, and now it’s done. The bell is calling me. King Duncan, I hope you didn’t hear it, because the ring is calling
you to heaven or to hell.

ACT II, SCENE II

Macbeth’s castle. Lady Macbeth is standing outside King Duncan’s bedroom.

LADY MACBETH.
The same stuff that made all the men drunk has made me bold. The booze that satisfied them has made me want more.
Listen! Quiet! I just heard an owl hoot, and you know what that means: somebody’s gonna die and the owl knows it. The
bedroom door is open, and the bodyguards are all snoring. I drugged their drinks.

MACBETH. (Inside King Duncan’s bedroom)

Who’s there? What’s going on?

LADY MACBETH.
Dang, I’m afraid they’ve woken up, and we haven’t murdered King Duncan yet! They’re going to find us, and we’ll be
ruined. Listen! I put the daggers out for him, he couldn’t miss them. If King Duncan didn’t look so much like my father as
he slept, I would’ve killed him myself.
Enter Macbeth.
My husband!

MACBETH.
I did it. Did you hear anything?

LADY MACBETH.
I heard owls hoot and crickets chirp. Did you not say something?

MACBETH.
When?

LADY MACBETH.
Now.

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MACBETH.
As I came out of the room?

LADY MACBETH.
Yes.

MACBETH.
Listen! Who was in the other bedroom?

LADY MACBETH.
Donalbain.

MACBETH.
The dead body was a sorry sight.

LADY MACBETH.
Don’t be stupid. It was a fine sight.

MACBETH.
I’m hearing voices in my head. One of them laughed in his sleep, and the other cried “Murder!,” so they woke each other
up. I stood there and heard them. As soon as they said their prayers, the voices went back to sleep.

LADY MACBETH.
So there are two voices in your head?

MACBETH.
One said “God bless us!” at the end of their prayer, and the other said “Amen,” but I couldn’t say it along with them. I just
couldn’t say it.
LADY MACBETH.
Don’t think about it so much.

MACBETH.
But why couldn’t I say the word “Amen”? I really need a prayer, but the word stuck in my throat.

LADY MACBETH.
If we think too hard about what we did tonight, we will go crazy.

MACBETH.
I thought I heard one of the voices say “No more sleep! Macbeth murdered sleep!” You know, the innocent sleep. Sleep
knits up the tangled yarn of care; it is the death to a day’s life; it is the jacuzzi tub for a day’s sore labor; it is like IcyHot for
hurting minds; it’s like the meat in the meal of life–

LADY MACBETH.
What are you talking about?

MACBETH.
The voice I heard yelled “Don’t sleep anymore!” to the whole house, and “The Lord of Glamis has murdered sleep, so the
Lord of Cawdor won’t sleep anymore: Macbeth won’t sleep anymore.”

LADY MACBETH.
Who said that? Honey, you are making yourself weak by thinking about such crazy stuff. Go get some water, and wash
that CSI evidence off your hand. Why did you bring these daggers out with you? They have to stay at the scene. Go
carry them back, and wipe the blood on the sleepy bodyguards.

MACBETH.
I will not. I can’t even think about what I’ve done; I’m too afraid to look at it again.

LADY MACBETH.
You are such a wimp. Give me the daggers. People who are asleep and people who are dead are just like pictures.
Only immature people think there’s something creepy about them. If King Duncan has bled enough, I’ll cover the faces of
the bodyguards in blood, because they have to look guilty.
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 Lady Macbeth goes into the bedroom. Knocks inside.

MACBETH.
What’s that knocking noise? What’s wrong with me, when every noise I hear freaks me out? What’s making me do that?
Whatever it is may pluck out my eyes.
Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood
Clean from my hand?
No. My hands are so bloody that the green ocean itself will turn red.
Enter Lady Macbeth.

LADY MACBETH.
My hands are the same color yours are, but I’m ashamed to be so innocent of this crime. (Knock.) I hear somebody
knocking at the south door. Let’s go back to our bedroom.
A little water clears us of this deed:
How easy it is then!
You are out of your mind. (Knock) Listen! More knocking. Put on your pajamas, in case we have to be up late. Try not
to look so freaked out.

MACBETH
It’s hard not to be freaked out after what I just did. (Knock) Wake up King Duncan with your knocking! I wish you could!

ACT II, SCENE III

Macbeth’s castle. Enter a very drunken doorman. Knocking is still heard inside.

PORTER.
Somebody is knocking the heck out of that door. If I were the doorman in hell, I’d get old just turning the key. (Knock.)
Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there, in the name of the devil? I bet it’s a farmer who over estimated how much food he
had. (Knock.) Knock, knock! Who’s there, in the other devil’s name? I bet it’s a priest who lies to get people to convert.
Oh, come on in, jerk. (Knock). Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there? I’m sure it’s an English tailor who stole something out
of a French stocking. Come in, tailor; you can use our ironing board. (Knock.) Knock, knock; it is never quiet! Who are
you? This place is too cold to be hell, and I’m not going to be the devil’s doorman. I thought I was going to have to let in
some of all the professions that send people straight to hell. (Knock.) Okay, okay! (He finally opens the door.) God help
me.
Enter Macduff and Lennox.

MACDUFF.
Did you go to bed late? Is that why you couldn’t get up to answer the door?

PORTER.
Seriously, dude. We were out until 3 AM, and you know drinking makes you do three things.

MACDUFF.
What three things does drinking make you do?

PORTER.
Get a red nose, fall asleep, and wet yourself. Sometimes it makes you a little randy, but if you drink too much, you can’t
do anything about it. So, drinking too much is the great equalizer with randiness. Basically, it turns on the light switch, but
takes out the lightbulb. Then you pass out.

MACDUFF.
I think you’re still drunk.

PORTER.
True. But I don’t haven’t passed out yet. For a minute I couldn’t walk, but then I threw up and I felt better.

MACDUFF.
Is your boss awake?
Enter Macbeth.
We woke him up with our knocking. Here he comes.

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LENNOX.
Good morning, awesome lord.

MACBETH.
Good morning to both of you.

MACDUFF.
Is King Duncan awake, awesome lord?

MACBETH.
Not yet.

MACDUFF.
He told me to wake him up early, and I was almost late.

MACBETH.
I’ll bring you to him.

MACDUFF.
I know it is a pain-in-the-butt to have the king as a houseguest, but one that you are happy to have.

MACBETH.
Pains-in-the-butt that make you happy often cure other pains. Here’s the door.

MACDUFF.
I’ll go wake him up, because it’s my duty.
Exit Macduff.
LENNOX.
Is the king leaving today?

MACBETH.
He is. He said so.

LENNOX.
Last night was awful. The chimneys in our room were blown down, and we heard sounds that sounded like screams.
Then there was a terrible storm, and there was an owl that wouldn’t stop hooting all night long. I heard there might have
been an earthquake, too.

MACBETH.
Yeah. It was a rough night.

LENNOX.
I can’t ever remember one that was any worse.
Enter Macduff.
MACDUFF.
Oh, snap! I can’t even say– or think– about what I just saw.

MACBETH AND LENNOX.

What happened??

MACDUFF.
It is a masterpiece of confusion! Somebody committed the worst possible kind of murder, and killed our King, God’s own
representative on this earth!

MACBETH.
What did you just say? Murder?

LENNOX.
The king? King Duncan?

MACDUFF.
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Go into the bedroom and look at a sight that could blind you by turning your face to stone, like in the Greek myth about
Gorgon. Don’t ask me about it– go look for yourselves.
Exit Macbeth and Lennox.
Ring the alarm bell! Murder and treason! Banquo and Donalbain! Malcolm! Wake up! Shake off your sleep– you look
like you’re dead, but it’s only fake death– come on and look at the real thing! Get up! Get up! See the image of DOOM!
Get out of your coffin-like beds and look at this mess. Ring the bell!
Bell rings. Enter Lady Macbeth.

LADY MACBETH.
What’s going on? Why are you yelling all over my house like that? Speak!

MACDUFF.
Oh, fine lady, I can’t tell you what’s going on. Since you’re a woman, hearing such terrible news would probably kill you.
Banquo enters.
Oh Banquo! Banquo! Somebody killed the king.

LADY MACBETH.
Ohhhhh, nooooooo! In our house??

BANQUO.
It’s too terrible for any place. Duff, please, say it ain’t so.
Enter Macbeth, Lennox, and Ross.

MACBETH.
This is the worst thing that ever happened in my whole entire life. I wish I’d died an hour ago so I could have said my life
was good before I died. Now, everything is awful, forever; my whole life is ruined with horribleness, everything, forever,
always.
Enter Malcolm and Donalbain

DONALBAIN.
What’s wrong?

MACBETH.
You are, and you don’t even know it. The spring, the fountain that supplied your blood has stopped. No more flowing.

MACDUFF.
He means your dad has been murdered.

MALCOLM.
Oh, who did it?

LENNOX.
It looks like his bodyguards did it. Their faces were all bloody and we found the bloody daggers near their beds. Plus,
they were acting all trippy and staring off into space.

MACBETH.
And, I’m sorry, but they made me so mad that I killed them. Whoops. My bad.

MACDUFF.
Why’d you do that?

MACBETH.
Who can keep their cool at a moment like that? I looked at my boss– and I loved that guy– all dead and bloody, and then
I looked at those guys, who were clearly guilty, and I couldn’t help it. I was so mad I had to kill them. You know, because
I loved King Duncan.

LADY MACBETH.
Ohhhhh, help meeeeeeee! (passes out)

MALCOLM (to Donalbain).

Why are we being quiet, when this murder is more our business than anybody else’s?
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DONALBAIN (to Malcolm).
Why should we talk? We don’t know what’s going on, and besides, it could be dangerous. Let’s go; we haven’t even had
time to process this yet and cry.

MALCOLM (to Donalbain).

Or the time to take action against whomever might deserve it.

BANQUO.
Somebody take care of Lady Macbeth.
Lady Macbeth is carried out.
Let’s all get dressed and get back together to figure this out. We are all freaking out. I’m on God’s side, and I’m
suspicious that we haven’t gotten to the bottom of it yet. I’m going to find out the truth.

MACDUFF.
Me too!

ALL.
We all are!

MACBETH.
Let’s quickly put on our clothes and meet in the hall together.

ALL.
Okay.
Exit everybody but Malcolm and Donalbain.
MALCOLM.
What are you gonna do? We don’t need to meet with those dudes. Looking sad when you don’t mean it is easy, and one
of those guys might have done it. We could be next. I’m going to England.

DONALBAIN.
And I’ll go to Ireland– we’ll be safer if we split up. I see daggers in those guys’ smiles, and the nearer we are to a murder,
the more likely we are to be murdered.

MALCOLM.
We don’t know who did it, and I want to leave before we find out the hard way. Let’s go in a hurry. It’s justified for us to
leave without saying goodbye.
Exit Malcolm and Donalbain.

ACT II, SCENE IV

Outside Macbeth’s castle.
Enter ROSS with an OLD MAN.

OLD MAN.
I’ve seen some terrible storms in the past 40 years, but this is the worst.

ROSS.
Yeah. What did you expect? King Duncan was just murdered. Of course the sky is dark and raging.

OLD MAN.
It’s unnatural, just like the murder. Also, last Tuesday, I saw an owl kill a falcon. That ain’t right!

ROSS.
And King Duncan’s horses, who were once beautiful, perfect animals, tore open their stall doors and went wild!

OLD MAN.
I heard they were eating each other.

ROSS.
They did! It shocked me when I saw it.
Enter Macduff.
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Here comes Macduff. How’s everything going, man?

MACDUFF.
You can’t tell?

ROSS.
Do we know who committed the murders yet?

MACDUFF.
Yeah, those bodyguards Macbeth killed.

ROSS.
Oh, man! What did they have to gain by killing King Duncan?

MACDUFF.
They were bribed. Malcolm and Donalbain took off, so that looks suspicious.

ROSS.
That’s unnatural! Their wasteful ambition destroyed their father. I guess Macbeth will be king, then.

MACDUFF.
He’s already been named the king. He went to Scone to make it official.

ROSS.
Where is King Duncan’s body?

MACDUFF.
They carried it to Colmekill, where they bury all the kings.

ROSS.
Are you going to go to Scone?

MACDUFF.
No, dude, I’m going to Fife.

ROSS.
Well, I think I’m going to go to Scone.

MACDUFF.
Well, I hope things are done well there, or else our new jobs might not be as good as our old ones. Goodbye!

ROSS.
Bye, Old Man!

OLD MAN.
God’s blessing go with you, and with people who fight the good fight, and forgive their enemies.

Exit everybody.