The Singles Scene

Recently, there has been a dramatic rise in the number of single people in the United States, in
part due to the large number of “ baby boomers” ( people born between 1945 and 1960). The
increase is also due to people delaying marriage until their late twenties. Furthermore, because
many women now have a higher educational and economic status than before, they do not feel
that they need the financial security traditionally associated with marriage. As a result, marriage
is viewed by some more as a choice rather than a necessity. Although marriage is still an
extremly important social institution in this country, there is less pressure to marry at a young
age and some cases, to marry at all.

Changing Americans norms about marriage sometimes strike people from more traditional
cultures as unusual. Unmarried Americans have been asked such as questions as “ when are you
going to marriage?” or “Why aren’t you married?” In general, these questions are too direct and
too personal, even though for the foreigner or Newcomer in the United States, the questions are
innocent and friendly.

How do singles meet each other in United States ? Mutual friends, parties, work, religious
groups, and various dating services account for many of the ways that singles meet. Generally
the “ Bar scene” although a popular place to socialize, is not considered an ideal setting to meet
romantic partners.

Social networks, including family, friends, and even acquaintances, are more likely to offer
oppurtunities to meet new people.

2. Mobility and Friendship

Americans are geographically mobile and many learn to develop friendships easily and quickly.
Apoproximately one out of every five Americans families moves every year. People relocate
because they changes jobs, attend distant college, get married, have children, or simply want a
chage in their lives. Perhaps as a consequence, people sometimes form and end friendship
quickly.

Relationship based on a common activity may fade or end when the activity ends. Mothers may
meet while dropping their children off at nursery school and remain friends until their kids go to
different schools. The same holds true for neighbors who are closest of friends until one moves
away. These friendships are not deep but are based upon shared daily experiences. Many
Americans, in general, do have enduring friendships, but at certain points in their lives can be
satisfied with transient relationships. In cultures where people have only lifetime friends(in part
beacuse they do not move from city to city), these temporary relationships are hard to
understand. But many Americans move so often that learning to make friends quickly becomes a
necessary survival skill.
3. Cross-Cultural Friendships

One of the most frequent problems in cross-cultural relationships is that foreigners misinterpet
Americans friendliness as an offer of friendship. Naturally, a foreigner who thinks that an
Americans is extending friendship would have expectations for the friendship. When the
American is unaware of these expectations or is unwilling to be a true friend( beacuse all that
was intended was a friendly but superficial relationship), the foreigner or newcomer in United
States can become dissapointed.

On the surface, when Americans are being friendly, it may seem that they are initiating a
friendship. It is useful for foreign students, visitors, and immigrants to know that Americans can
actually be shy in interactions with foreigners. This is partly due to the Americans linguistics and
geographic isolation, especially in parts of the United States, without diverse populations. In
general, it is advisable to approach Americans first to initiate friendships. Some Americans will
want to go beyond a superficial friendship, depending on stiudent, having lived in the United
statesfor several years, said that the most important advice he could give to newcomers wouild
be “ Don’t be passive when it comes to making friend with Americans, Being conversation,
extend invitations, and make the first move.”