English 206 and English 305

0. Homework submissions

A. 206 Note: edit those essays which I did not do

A famous place in the period of healthiness campaign [The City’s Cardiovascular Health Campaign]

1. Starting [Recently beginning] a campaign against illness [heart attacks] due to the high mortality rate [of those
individuals who are 50 years and older] in Bangkok recently, [the] Ministry of Public Health promotes [is now
promoting] citizen’s healthiness [advice on how to stay healthy] by the way of publishing posters [circulating fliers]
which include a picture of [the] National Stadium all over the city and [attempt to] persuading [persuade] people
[individuals]to do exercise.

2. In the posters [brochures], the National Stadium is chosen [shown as it is] to be the ideal place where everyone can
come by for physical fitness or taking [to take]a walk, and so it is really suitable for doing activities and being lively
with cozy atmosphere. NOTE: USE PARALLEL STRUCTURE (I.E I LIKE SWIMMING AND DANCING; I LIKE
TO SWIM AND TO DANCE)

3. The image is two dimensions where the [of a] jogging track is a curve in the foreground, leading to the [and a]
background, and [scene of newly constructed buildings now being used], some buildings are constructed which are for
playing indoor sports. Various kinds of trees are planted [also shown in the background with groups of people around
the area and aerobic exercise usually performs near this place in the late afternoon.

4. To convince people to visit the National Stadium, the Ministry of Public Health uses [created a] fantastic photography
[image of beauty and practicality].in designing colorful works and making it looks attractive as if what the viewer is
about to experience will be favorable and convenient.

5. In so doing, the National Stadium becomes a well-known arena as one of the greatest places in a short time.[has
become even more well known]

6. Responsive to the vigorousness campaign, Ministry of Public Health successfully tempts population to work out.[the
need to ensure that more mature citizens take care of their cardiovascular health the Ministry of Public Health has
successfully created a brochure that convinces citizens to exercise at the stadium].

Note: This one was very difficult to do and yet the student did an excellent job. She used the formula perfectly; she
was descriptive; and she used the rules for writing about an image (Tell exactly what is in the image; and tell why the
image was created; tell why the image was published and has importance now) If I were to grade this I would be
tempted to give it a p+ or a g-. If I were to grade a revised version with less grammatical and semantic mistakes I
would prably give it a g

Describe a vegetable that you truly dislike

1. I actually like to eat vegetables, except for onions [,] which are an edible bulb composed of food-storage leaves that are
rich in sugar and pungent oil, the source of their strong taste; and as I ever [have] tasted the veggie [them] before, I
strongly have dissatisfactions with them. [dislike them].

2. One of the unpleasant parts is its cause of eye irritation and bringing tears to a person's eyes [for it is like being assailed
by these molecules from all directions ].

3. As onions are peeled, chopped, sliced, or eaten, cells are broken, allowing enzymes called alliinases to break
down amino acid sulphoxides and generate sulphenic acids. A specific sulfenic acid, a propenesulfenic acid formed
when onions are cut, is rapidly rearranged by a second enzyme, called the lachrymatory factor synthase or LFS,
giving syn-propanethial-S-oxide, a volatile gas known as the onion lachrymatory factor or LF. The LF gas diffuses
through the air and eventually reaches the eye, where it activates sensory neurons, creating a stinging sensation, and so
the tear glands produce tears to dilute and flush out the irritant.

4. Another one of the disliking parts [is about their pungency which is the reason of [for] their strong flavor and odor.
Depending on the variety, an onion can be sharp, spicy, tangy, and pungent [,] or mild and sweet.

5. Having a pungent odor and taste, onions are used in a variety of ways, in almost every type of food, including cooked
foods and fresh salads and as a spicy garnish. They are also used as an aromatic in cooking along with celery and
carrots to flavor stocks, soups, stews and sauces.

6. Onions are really useful for cooking, chiefly as flavoring, medicinal properties, and also demonstrating microscope
usage in science education; however, as I recall my first time trying the plant, it was very [so] terrible that I never want
to eat them again.

Note: This one was also quite difficult to do but the student did it quite well. She obviously did some scientific
research which I really appreciate. And even though it was a first person essay she only talked about herself a little,
giving a personal flavor to an exposition. For the most part it was information, an exposition, with a personal anecdote.
It worked really well together and I definitely understand why she dislikes onions. She used the formula extremely
well here. Because of the persuasive science, or at least a very persuasive lie, I would probably give it a G

A novel that I have recently read [Directions: attempt to proofread the following]

1. Bootleg is the creative young-adult fiction I lately reread [I recently read a young adult novel entitled Bootleg. ] From
my point of view, I gained admiration why the book is pretty famous that it was made into a miniseries and was once a
bestseller in Thailand.

2. The book is about a new political party called the “Good for You” which comes into power and bans chocolate. Two
school children named Smudger Moore and Huntley Hunter are stunned with the prohibition order that anyone caught
breaking the law will be fined and face up to imprisonment. Demanding to get chocolate back, they begin the chocolate
making business, and go on to join underground resistance organization.

3. Not only have all books on chocolate been removed, but even all traces on the internet, however, with the help of some
surprising adult collaborators, Smudger and Huntley finally find a recipe and ready to make chocolate. Cooking up a
storm in the cellar, the boys conceal the smell of their delicious concoction by burning toast. They also attend a meeting
of the underground movement with the others, leading the aptly named Chocolate and Freedom Party.

4. One of the most interesting perspectives of the fiction is the attempt of Smudger, Huntley, and their co-workers,
striving for justice and freedom. The kids protect their authorities although they are still young.
5. It takes quite some time and considerable efforts of the revolutionary Smudger, Huntley, and their partners who have
true passion for anything sweet, to stand up to the system, bring the government down and win the day for chocoholics.

6. This piece of art is very significant at reminding all of us that a right is not something that somebody gives us; it is
something that nobody can take away. And as I remember my own living and my own sense of being taken advantage
of, it is a fiction I can appreciate.

Note: If I were to grade this I would definitely give it a P. It makes me want to read the book but there are many
grammatical mistakes here. Remember that the subject of a sentence is always more important and thus it is usually at
the beginning. An exception to this rule might be a prepositional phrase

B. 305

Noise pollution in Bangkok

(1) Nowadays, Bangkok, one of the world’s noisiest cities, has developed everywhere [extensively]. The result of the
developments effects [affects/ or “has effects on”] on the environment, causing [various forms of] pollution, and so [to which the
ever increasing] noise pollution problems that seem to be in the process of getting worse each year become the main problem of
Bangkok [levels within the city exceed all other forms of pollution.] (2) Broadly speaking [For the most part,] the noise pollution
in Bangkok mostly originates [mostly] in [from] two sources, which are transportation and construction; that [and as such the]
government needs to legislate the [create more effective] noise pollution rules or issue the legal controls [legislation and enforce
it vigorously].

(3~1) Approximately eighty percent of all intrusive sound[s] arises from such transport devices as motor vehicles, aircraft [,] and
rail activities. Especially in Bangkok, where traffic jams are part of daily life, it is hard to escape noise pollution. The sources
include the motors and exhaust system[s] of automobiles, buses, motorcycles, compressed car horns, and emergency service
sirens that can be [are often] augmented by narrow streets and tall buildings which produce a canyon [effect] in which traffic
noise reverberates. Not only that, aircraft noise, while contributing lesser total energy into the environment, poses some of the
greatest human health treats [threats] due to the extreme high sound levels produced and the noise from locomotive engines,
horns and whistles, and [the] switching and shutting operation[s] in rail yards can impact neighboring communities and railroad
workers also.

(3~2) In the fields of architecture and civil engineering, construction is a process that consists of the building or assembling
of infrastructure. Far from being a single activity, large scale construction is a feat of human multitasking that can cause the
pollution. In Bangkok, the noise from the construction of highways, city streets, and buildings always occurs. The construction
noise sources include pneumatic hammers, air compressors, bulldozers, loaders, dump trucks, and pavement breakers which
intrude upon human or other [and] faunal activity.

(4) This being the case, the government should make the law[s] relating to noise pollution. An ordinance may contain a general
prohibition against making noise that is a nuisance, or it may set out specific guidelines for the level of noise allowable at certain
times of the day and for certain activities. However, there is need to create general awareness towards the hazardous effects of
noise pollution on Bangkokians too, so the problem will successfully be solved.

Note: Obviously, if I were to give a grade to this essay I would give it a “G.” The student was able to do research that helped
improve her ability to write it and that is good. Unfortunately, for the examination you will not be able to look up words from a
dictionary or find research from the Internet or an encyclopedia.

I.Tips from the Summer 2010 Test Papers

A.Making the appropriate choice:

The choices for EN 206 Part II were:

1. Tell about the most surprising thing that has occurred in your life

2. Narrate a day in the life of a rice farmer

3. Tell about the worst movie that you have ever seen

Remember: Your goal is to write for the reader!! The reader reads your essay to understand the world better (factually and
perhaps emotionally) If you think that choosing #1 is easier, it is not. Why isn’t #1 easier? *If you talk only about a gift that
you got on your last birthday and have not improved the reader’s understanding of the world or human relationships, you will
have a bad essay *Exposition topics like #2 and #3 require a sophistication of writing that suggests that you can do more than
write first person essays (that you are there to enlighten the reader in a third person narration).
Example:

Student essay (not good)

The Most Surprising thing in my live

Giving the birthday gift from my parents is the most surprising thing in my life. Last summer, I had a chance to visit my
hometown. After I had arrived my home, I saw something on the table. It was a big box. I asked my parents what it was. They
said that it was nothing. Before I took a bath I had asked they again but they didn’t answer. That day was my birthday, so I
hoped to give something from someone. At night, my parents opened the box, and called me to to see something in the box. It
was a Rolex watch. I was very surprised, because it was my first present from my parents.

Comments: Yes, she confuses “give” and “get” so I would not be able to pass this essay even if it had been interesting. How
could she have made this essay more interesting? Let’s rewrite it. We will use “I” but try to distance ourselves from it as much
as possible

Rewritten version:

1.In rural areas of Thailand where poverty can be dire gift exchanges for birthdays is often not done so when family members
give a gift it tends to be a more meaningful expression of love. 2.For fifteen years of my life I never received any birthday
present, although after school had ended and my chores were complete, usually my mother would be fixing supper with food that
I liked particularly well. 3. Presents bought from a store were not expected on birthdays or other occasions, and just being
together in a meal with the Thai dishes that I liked most was plenty 4. However, when I turned 16 my parents put a box on the
table, and when I asked what it was they told me that it belonged to my aunt and that I should leave it alone. 5. Finally, as I was
going to bed after finally forgetting about the box altogether, they opened it and put a Rolex watch on my arm. 6. Wealthier
families might have gift exchanges for every birthday, making the gifts forgotten with time, but this gift will stay as a memory for
me for my whole life.

B.For EN 305 the same is true. If we look at the EN 405 topics from last semester they were the following

1. Write a review of a movie that deals with dangers of high technologies 2. Write a review of a fair which is often held to be a
center where Thai people can buy cheap food, electrical appliances, garments, industrial products, and many other goods and
services 3. Write about an experience when you were forced to do something you did not want to. Describe your feeling and
how you managed this problem. 4.Write about the most surprising experience that happened in your life. Describe how it
happened and why you thought it was the most surprising.. 5. Write about a theater which usually offers both Thai and foreign
movies to spectators.

#3 and #4 look easier but if you do not make them important to the reader they will be failures! It is better to not do a first
person essay topic

C. In larger essays the rule is to go from general to specific but if you are much too general it will be ridiculous. Example:

“In the world there are good people and bad people and the good people help people but the bad people don’t help anybody but
themselves. The good people do good things for other people but the bad people do good things for themselves or sometimes
they do bad things to good people. But good people don’t do bad things to bad people or anyone else and they don’t just try to do
good things for good people but for bad people too, which makes them good.”

That would be a very ridiculous introduction.

Here is one from a student.

“In human life there are many different in experience. Some one has a good and may be bad experience. I had experience which
made me very impressed and surprised.” I never figured out what her bad experience really was.

Keep to the formula: Introduction = background information+ thesis statement (A fact and an opinion about the topic and what
you hope to prove in writing this paper).

D. Do not write in pencil. Paragraph writing is one paragraph, not multiple paragraphs. For 206 please write a descriptive
paragraph that describes and a narrative paragraph that narrates or a successful paragraph that does both.

E. Again, remember that a topic sentence is a fact+opinion that makes up an idea that you want to prove. A thesis statement is a
fact+opinion that makes up the idea you want to prove; and what you hope to accomplish by writing this essay

A student writes: “”A white puddle is a big surprised on my last birthday.” She really means “My family gave me a poodle for
my last birthday.” This is not a topic sentence. There is nothing to prove in that statement.

II. Grammatical point

A student sent me an email asking me to talk about uncountable nouns. Remember that an uncountable noun is usually a noun
that is so small that you cannot count it (rice, salt, sand, wheat, ice cream, air, gas). Always make uncountable nouns singular.
“The ice cream is melting.” “The rice is burning.” However, if you use a partitive makes an uncountable noun countable:

“There is one bag of rice in the store.” “There are two bags of rice in the store.” “There is one canister of gas in the storeroom.”
“There are two canisters of gas in the storeroom.” In American English ice cream is always an uncountable but “cone” is not a
partitive. “The ice cream is melting in the cone.” “The ice cream is melting in the two ice cream cones.”

III. Here is an effective essay from Summer 206. Notice how there is a topic sentence (a fact and an opinion about the topic)
which is proven with hard evidence

Student essay:

The worst movie that I have ever seen was Star Wars, a George Lucas sequel that is one of the most influential movies in
Holywood. The movie is divided into six episodes about a universal war in a century that postdates our own. Anakin
Skywalker, the main character changes from being a Jedi, a good warrior, to that of an antagonist fighting for a dark and sinister
cause. The Jedi turn against him as he now resembles Dark Vader. It is a very complicated story. I tried to watch it over and
over again and asked about the general story line from a friend. Moreover, I tried to search for details about the movie from the
Internet. But as I continued to stay confused about everything, I finally gave up on watching it any longer. That is why, to me, it
is the worst movie ever.

IV. Looking at early EN 206 test papers and how the teacher would have written the essays in the parameters of the formula

Sentence 1: topic sentence given immediately (the fact and opinion that makes up the idea that you want to prove)

Sentence 2: Proving the topic sentence with hard evidence

Sentence 3: Supporting sentence for “sentence 2” Note: if sentence 2 is vague, sentence 3 gives clarity

Sentence 4: Proving the topic sentence with a second piece of hard evidence

Sentence 5: Supporting sentence for “sentence 4” Note: If sentence 4 is vague, sentence 5 gives clarity

Sentence 6: provide a concluding statement that summarizes the paragraph. Often Sentence 6 will look like sentence 1.

Example from the test paper

Describe one of the following

1. Describe a character in the Ramakian or one from Phra Aphai Mani

2. Tell how people can protect themselves from influenza A, H1N1, and avoid catching it

3. Describe a job you would like to have

I will do # 2 for you as it was the hardest to do. Remember: it must be descriptive

#2

1. Known for its symptoms of heaviness in the chest causing difficulty in breathing, intense fever, periodic episodes of
vomiting, and dizziness, the H1N1 influenza virus is a horrible illness to which the risks of contraction are reduced by
the following steps.

2. One can be sick for a period of weeks; and as this illness can strike elderly, youth, and everyone in between with these
acute symptoms, one major precaution is to buy a surgical mask.

3. A surgical mask should be put on when coming in close proximity to a large crowd of people in a tight and restricted
area such as on the sidewalk of Silom Road, for a mask pulled tightly against the face, allowing one to breathe but
stopping the virus from entering either the nostrils of the nose or the mouth is a fundamental way of ensuring that he or
she does not contract this virus.

4. Although inoculations providing immunity to the virus are not yet available, eating a diet filled with sumptuous
vegetables of a wide variety of colors often adds important antioxidants that improve the body’s ability to fight off a
wide variety of illnesses.

5. Broccoli is often disliked for its bristling texture and yet this vegetable in particular is amazing for the amount of
antioxidants that it possesses; although a diet in which one eats the yellow of corn, the green of broccoli, the red of a
tomato, and other juicy and sumptuous varieties is even better yet.

6. The H1N1 influenza virus, often called swine flu, is one of the worst influenza viruses circulating worldwide and has a
chance of mutating into a very serious pandemic, but wearing a surgical mask in crowds and eating proper meals full of
antioxidants is the best means of ensuring that one never contracts this illness.

VI. Looking at an excellent EN 305 essay from the examination and practicing it. The writing was good enough that it did not
require the formula; but had the student used the formula the writing would have been even better
Note: Do not memorize this essay; only memorize the formula

Gambling is one of the six starting points that leads one to extreme unhappiness, according to Buddha. However, although
everyone is aware of the fact one can’t help betting when an opportunity presents itself. Maybe the reason of such deeds lies in
one’s inherited genes. Humankind loves the thrill of playing and praying for [to enhance] their luck, and the joy of knowing that
[they have been destined to good]a fortune has chosen them is incomparable with anything [else in their lives]. Of course,
gambling is by all means illegal. For instance, there is a news[article] just a few days ago about old card players forming a group
to play cards in a member’s home. [In the article] they are quickly arrested after having played for just two days, thanks to the
ability of Thai policemen. But, illegal as it is, gambling gets support from all kinds of people since the time of yore. Some of
them even go so far that they want gambling to be legalized. Obviously, there are people on the other side who think that
legalized gambling will only lead to the society to [a] disastrous state. Here are their claims [on] why any act to allow explicit
gambling will be bad: the addictive aspect [of such games], personal problems [associated with gambling], and society’s ruined
status [as a result of many people involved in this activity].

The first thing [point]that anti-gambling people [factions] have to point out is the fact that gambling is addictive. First, one bets
only small amounts [of money] just for fun. Losing some money at this stage is not a problem because the bet money[of this bet]
is unnecessary to his life. On the other hand such a person tends to be overjoyed when he wins, no matter how small the winning
is. The occasional wins lead to his placing even bigger bets. At last, one crosses an invisible threshold and begins to use most of
his income for gambling. At this stage, losing a game may mean that he has no money to buy food. That means he has become
addicted to gambling. Nowadays, such a person is easy to find. However, it will be even easier to do so if the government of the
kingdom legalizes gambling, according to the [these] anti-gambling people [factions]. To summarize the idea of the anti-
gambling group [factions], legalizing gambling means that more people will gamble and be addicted to the act.

After many people are [become] addicted to gambling, each of them is surely [finds themselves] in trouble. The second claim
from those who want [the initiative of] that legalizing gambling be failed [to fail] is that gambling can lead one to [into]serious
problems. As somewhat demonstrated in the preceding paragraph, an addicted gambler can even bet his whole life into a game
of gambling. If he loses, he becomes bankrupt. That means he has no money to pay his debtors. He then has to face both
physical and mental uneasiness. How can a man work if his stomach is not filled? Moreover, without work, how can he expect
that his belly [it] be full? The cycle goes on forever until he succumbs to death. The whole story is just one possible tragedy of a
life ruined by gambling, and, at least to the anti gambling people [faction], legalizing gambling means thousands of such a story
[stories] in [the] making.

As if just the two stated disasters were not enough there is also large-scale results following the legalization of gambling. The
thousands or maybe millions [of] sad tales from the third paragraph will be woven together to form an epic called Noutopia [???],
where everything goes wrong. It is the contrast of Utopia, the [fictional] city[mentioned in Thomas Moore’s book”] that runs
smoothly in a literature book. Hopeless to find money to pay their debts, people become thieves. Good citizens can’t find
policemen anywhere because they are playing in casinos. Soon Later, wars erupt at the heart of the city. The end of all the
chaos is better left unwritten. Again, this is just one potential pattern of a ruined society led [caused]by legalized gambling. In
conclusion, not only can legalized gambling make a person’s mind and body go astray, but it can also destroy the whole [of]
society.

As one must have seen now, legalizing gambling can lead to scary effects. Beginning from few small bettings [bets], the whole
world can be affected from gambling. Any individual whose heart is in the right place, therefore, must act against any effort to
legalize gambling from now on. With everyone’s help, the idea that gambling may be exist only in museums will no longer be a
dream. [this social evil can be curtailed].
VI. English 305

To have a good essay you must do the following:

I.Use the formula. Introduction=background information (the history of the problem) +thesis statement (your topic and the idea
and opinion that you have which you hope to prove); body=two paragraphs and two points that you care to expound on which
prove the thesis statement; conclusion=summarizing the main idea, offering a few extra facts not in the introduction and the
body, and persuading the reader that the thesis statement is now proven

II. In the body you must have two distinct points in two paragraphs (example: If the thesis statement is that Bangkok has the
worst pollution in the world, but to a large degree it can be remedied paragraph 1 can talk about trash thrown on the streets
causing flooding and paragraph 2 can talk about air pollution caused by factories and industries which may be rectified by using
exhaust filters)

III. Use appropriate transitions between two sentences and two paragraphs. Try not to have desultory writing. Writing should
flow like a river

IV. ideas must be sequential and meaningful and although the grammar does not need to be perfect it cannot be so bad that the
reader cannot progress into the flow of the sentences

Goals of both classes:

1. Review material from the book

2. Attempt to write your own short and long essays based upon the writing formulas

3. See teacher improved essays of your writings

4. Learn improved grammar from student mistakes

5. Practice transition exercises

6. Practice writing compound and complex sentences

7. Be able to grammatically explicate compound and complex sentences

VII. Definitions:

Topic Sentence= a topic sentence is a topic+the opinion of the topic which you need to prove in the body of your work.

Examples:

topic : dogs are pets (fact)

topic sentence: Dogs are wonderful pets (fact and opinion)

topic: San Fransisco is a worldwide destination for travelers (fact)

topic sentence: San Fransico may be a worldwide destination for travelers but with so many safer cities with a larger cultural
heritage, it is one city that can be overlooked. (fact and opinion)

A thesis statement is like a topic sentence but it is the central idea that governs the whole composition. It is used in full essays
and large scholarly articles.

Note: A topic sentence in paragraph writing (EN 206) and a topic sentence/thesis statement in argumentative writing (EN 305) is
a fact and an opinion merged together and it needs to be proven

VIII. Formulas for writing:

Short essay:

Sentence 1: Topic sentence needs to be given immediately

Sentence 2: Provide the first and most important piece of evidence proving the topic sentence

Sentence 3: Provide minor evidence to support sentence 2

Sentence 4: Provide a second important piece of evidence proving the topic sentence

Sentence 5: Provide minor evidence to support sentence 4

Sentence 6: Provide a concluding statement. In short essays concluding statements are very similar to the topic sentence in
sentence 1 but it needs to be worded differently.

Long essay:

Introduction=background information+thesis statement

2 paragraph body=proving the importance of the thesis statement

Conclusion=summarizing the main ideas, offering a few minor pieces of evidence not mentioned in the introduction and the body
to make the conclusion more interesting; persuade the reader that the thesis statement is now proven.

IX.Why short essays are important:

Short essays are very important academically. Often you will have to write short essays in examinations so when you learn how
to write them well you will be able to improve your test scores. They are also good practice for oral communication. When you
write a short essay, memorize it, and recite it your ability to speak lucidly will improve

X. Rules for learning to write short and long essays:

*Do not memorize either the short or long essays in the book or in the handouts
*You should memorize the formulas for writing (short essay formula for paragraph writing and long essay formula for
argumentative writing)

* In argumentative writing write a one paragraph introduction, a two paragraph body, and a conclusion; in paragraph writing six
sentences is best

*keep your ideas sequential

*Use transitions

*Work on common grammatical mistakes that often appear in student compositions in Thailand

*Follow the writing formula. Note: You should memorize the formulas for writing short and long essays

XI. Teacher’s sundry of short essays on various topics

A.

1The idea that Thai cuisine is too hot to be delicious to westerners is exaggerated.

2. In most Thai dishes the cooks mix spices into the food which they prepare but that does not mean that all that food is too spicy
for the Western tastes.

3. Common dishes from pad thai to khao pat are not particularly spicy.

4. Orders can always be made in which one requests that spices are not put into the food.

5. However, for those rare individuals who do not think that Thai food is spicy enough, bowls of chili sauce can be found on
every table to make the meal extremely hot.

6. Even the most fastidious of Westerners who have a strong dislike of spicy food can gain pleasure in eating the delicious
cuisine of Thailand

B.

1.In ancient times South American Indians not only ate the corn which they grew, but they also worshiped it.

2. Just as wheat has been the main sustenance for Europeans and rice has been the main staple of Asian diet, so corn has always
been the most important food in Mexico, and countries in Central, and South America.

3. Ancient American Indians often had corn gods the way Ancient Egyptians had sun gods.

4. It is understandable why they should do this; for corn was vital to the health and survival of the people, and so they
worshipped it.

5. Ancient Indians had temples and ceremonies all in honor of the corn god.

6. Corn in the past and the present has always been important to people living in Latin America

C.

1.An argument can be made that the American Revolutionary War was illegal.

2. The English colonists who were living in America wanted England to fight the Frenchmen who were also living there
3. As the war was very expensive for the Englishmen they forced the English colonists in America to pay high taxes on sugar,
tea, and stamps.

4. The colonists got angry at having to pay the taxes and they dumped tea imports from England into the Boston Harbor

5. Soon afterwards, the British colonists fought with England to get freedom that allowed them to have a new country, The
United States of America.

6 Some people argue that the Revolutionary War should not have been fought against England and that it was wrong of the
English colonists (later to be called the Americans) to resent having to pay for the wars against the French colonists through
taxation.

D.

1.Of all the American cities to live in, the most wonderful metropolitan area is New York City.

2. Even if one does not own a car this largest of American cities has an advanced public transportation system of subways and
busses making the entire city easily accessible.

3. The ease by which everyone can move around the city is unlike all other cities in America in which a car is indispensable.

4. In New York City there is an enormous amount to experience from Broadway plays to museums.

5. One of the most interesting of sites is the Statue of Liberty, a gift from the French people who wanted to remind the Americans
of having helped them financially in their fight against England and how both countries inspired each other to reject monarchy.

6. New York is a city with countless cultural attractions and an advanced public transportation system that allows everyone to see
all parts of this important metropolitan destination.

E.

1. Whether the Trojan War was a myth or an actual event, it is a wonderful source of drama in the poetry of Homer and the plays
of Aeschylus

2. Homer's poem, The Odyssey, shows the hero, Odysseus, attempting to go home to the Greek Island of Ithaca after spending ten
years fighting the Trojans

3. However Poseidon, the god of the ocean, tries to keep Odysseus from returning to his home because he is angry at Odysseus
for not thanking the gods for allowing he and his soldiers to be successful in the war

4. Aeschylus’ plays are about Agamemnon, the brother of Menelaus whose beautiful wife, Helen, had eloped with the prince of
Troy, Paris, who had fallen madly in love with her.

5. When Agamemnon returns home his wife kills him for having sacrificed his daughter to the gods in order to get wind to sail
his ships to Troy.

6. Both of these Greek authors, Homer and Aeschylus, dramatically illustrate the aftermath of the Trojan War in their fiction

F.

1. For those who seek upper body strength and cardiovascular improvements with few to no injuries there is no better activity to
pursue than swimming.

2. Although swimming is not particularly beneficial for the removal of fat from the lower abdomen it is great for the muscles of
the heart.

3. This is no different than jogging except that as jogging reduces abdominal fat leg injuries are a common occurrence.
4. Another major benefit from swimming is that it builds up upper body muscles along one’s shoulders and upper arms although
of course these benefits are nominal in comparison to those of weight lifting training.

5. But unlike lifting weights, this activity is rather risk free of injuries while its modest gains in muscular development can help
him or her feel stronger and more able to be able to pick up heavy objects.

6. Swimming is an excellent activity for non strenuous gains in both cardiovascular health and increasing upper body muscles.

XII. Transitions: Transitions are a group of words placed at the beginning of a sentence and links to the previous sentence in a
logical arrangement. Think of transitions as being bridges that link two different land masses.

1. The house was on fire. She ran out the back door=

The house was on fire. As a reaction to seeing the walls of her home in flames she ran out the back door.

2. The water monitor looked at Steve. It ate his toe=

The water monitor looked at Steve Gazing at the succulence of raw flesh it ate his toes.

3. The students cheated on the examination. Steve hung every one of them from the nearest tree=The students cheated on the
examination. Enraged by this fact, Steve hung every one of them from the nearest tree.

4. The man was crazy. The doctors used electrical shock treatment on his head=The man was crazy. As the hallucinations
exacerbated to the point where he thought that he was George Bush, the doctors used electrical shock treatment on his head.

5. Bill Gates is an extremely wealthy individual. He financially assists many charities.=Bill Gates is an extremely wealthy
individual. Knowing the importance of contributing money to worthy causes as a philanthropist he financially assists many
charities.

6. The student read the first chapter of the novel, Ulysses, by James Joyce. He closed the book= The student read the first
chapter of the novel, Ulysses, by James Joyce. After reading the opening scene many times without comprehending
anything, he closed the book.

7.The Nile River overflows once each year. Crops are able to grow in Egypt=The Nile River overflows once each year. As this
flooding enriches the soil by depositing silt crops are able to grow in Egypt.

8. The dog was barking throughout the night. Steve kicked it in its mouth=The dog was barking throughout the night. Unable to
sleep because of the continual howling Steve left his apartment and kicked it in its mouth.

9. Steve gave classes. He had a heart attack and died.= Steve gave classes at St. Theresa College. Feeling this daily pressure
to grade your examinations and prepare for his classes, he had a heart attack and died

10. Steve broke his TOEFL video CD. He went to the bookstore.=Steve broke his TOEFL video CD. Needing this material
urgently, he went to the bookstore.
XIII. Grammar: Here are some frequent grammatical mistakes found in compositions at ABAC, Silpakorn University, et cetera

2.1 Mr. Mason is coming late to classes everyday=Mr. Mason comes late to classes everyday.

_____________________________________________________

2.2 Siripong he is my brother, he lives in Changmai =Siripong is my brother, and[who] he lives in Changmai

_____________________________________________________

2.3 My home there is a servant she takes care of the cooking=My home has a servant[In my home there is a servant…] who takes
care of the cooking

_____________________________________________________

2.4 My mother is a wife house and she nice=My mother is a housewife, and[who] she is nice

_____________________________________________________

2.5 As I would like to learn English=As I would like to learn English I study the subject everyday (any sensible independent clause
is fine; or the “As” can be deleted

_____________________________________________________

2.6 My sister said go to her classes everyday improved her English=My sister said that going to her classes everyday improved her
English

_____________________________________________________

2.7 In my club we there are much elections to determine the officers=In my club we have many elections to determine the
officers[My club has many elections to determine the officers]

______________________________________________________

2.8 I meet with her everyday next week=I will meet with her everyday next week

______________________________________________________

2.9 Every Friday she will go to her class at 9:00=Every Friday she goes to her classes at 9:00

_______________________________________________________

2.10 Because she doesn’t want drink alcohol=Because she doesn’t want to drink alcohol she drinks coffee [obviously any sensible
independent clause would be fine]

_______________________________________________________

2.11 He said he want marry her=He said that he wanted to marry her

______________________________________________________

2.12 I listening to music and to eat pizza=I like listening to music and eating pizza

______________________________________________________
2.13 My brother said in choose this field I will be earning a lot of money=My brother said that in choosing this field I would be
earning a lot of money

______________________________________________________

2.14 There is other thing that is important to me it is my part-time job=There is another thing that is important to me, and it is my
part-time job

______________________________________________________

2.15 I want every people do his very best work=I want every person to do his very best work

________________________________________________________

2.16 Because she don’t want to get married=Because she does not want to get married she remains single [or any other sensible
independent clause]

________________________________________________________

2.17 Louis he is my cousin, he lives in Nongkai=Louis is my cousin, and he lives in Nongkai

________________________________________________________

2.18 In the theater have much chairs=In the theater there are many chairs [The theater has many chairs]

________________________________________________________

2.19 My home there is a gardener he takes care of the plants=At my home there is a gardener who takes care of the
plants [My home has a gardener who takes care of the plants]

________________________________________________________

2.20 I like sing at karaoke every Saturday=I like to sing at a karaoke every Saturday

____________________________________________________

2.21 My father is a worker factory and she very strong=My father is a factory worker, and he is very strong

____________________________________________________

2.22 I going to school in the afternoons every Friday-I go to school in the afternoons every Friday

___________________________________________________

2.23 My father said in choose this major I make good money.=My father said that in choosing this major I would make good
money

____________________________________________________

2.24 He said he want marry her=He said that he wanted to marry her

___________________________________________________

2.25 Every Monday she will go to piano lessons, her brother goes too=Every Monday she goes to piano lessons, and her
brother goes too

___________________________________________________
2.26 Because she don’t know where go=Because she does not know where to go she stays at the hotel

____________________________________________________

2.27 You wanting me to feed the dog=You want me to feed the dog

__________________________________________________

2.28 You hear if we passed the examination=Did you hear if we passed the examination

_________________________________________________

2.29 She asked if he can help her=She asked if he could help her

__________________________________________________

2.30 Do you able meet me at 5:00?=Are you able to meet me at 5:00

__________________________________________________

2.31 Are you want see movie with me?=Do you want to see a movie with me?

__________________________________________________

2.33 I am live in Chaingmai now=I live in Chaingmai/ I am living in Changmai now

________________________________________________

2.34 Everyday I am going to the store to get her food =Everyday I go to the store to get her food

________________________________________________

2.35 I talk with her now=I am talking with her now/ I talk with her nowadays.

________________________________________________

2.36 We will meet her every Friday=I meet with her every Friday

_________________________________________________

2.37 They will travel through various national parks over the next four months=They will be traveling through various
national parks over the next four months

________________________________________________________

2.38 Before I came here I was living in New York City=Before I came here I had been living in New York City.

___________________________________________________

2.39 I live in the apartment for two weeks=I have lived in the apartment for two weeks

____________________________________________________

2.40 She is the manager of this company for two weeks=She has been the manager of this company for two weeks
XIV. Long essay EN 305

Here is an argumentative essay from one of my students last year. Notice that this is a cause and effect essay but it does not
have a clear topic sentence/thesis statement and it needs to be longer with a 2 paragraph body. In class assignment: Rewrite
this essay. Use your imagination and supply details that will allow you to design this essay with an introduction, a body, and a
conclusion. Think about the formula as you do this. (Do not look at XV when you do this.)

Student Essay: The Sri Lankan civil war by Chethana

The Sri Lankan civil war has lasted for over twenty years. The reason for this war is that the Tamil tigers need the northern part
of Sri Lanka called “Jaffna” to rule the Tamil ethnicity. The Sri Lankan government does not agree with this idea. Thus, there
has been a war. There have been a lot of bombings and killings for these past twenty years because of this matter. The civil war
has had a devastating impact on the economy. The government has to spend a lot of money for the war. The economy has been
getting worse with each year of the war. Most people who have jobs have very low salaries in Sri Lanka. And graduates do not
have jobs in the country. There are a lot of young people who work in the army and have become disabled because of the war. It
is very sad to see young people in this condition. ***The poor economy has led people to have living conditions that are
miserable. The government does not have money to spend on education or health care; so education and health care have been
given a low priority

There is only one way to solve this problem and that is to give the northern part of Sri Lanka to the Tamils so that they might
have a semi-autonomous state. Then the Sinhalese majority can live peacefully. This will lead people to have better living
conditions, better health care, a better educational system, and a brighter future.

XV. Teacher Revision of student essay in XIV (EN 305)

Note: remember that we need to have it four paragraphs long

[Introduction: “background information=the history of the problem +topic sentence thesis statement]

The Sri Lankan Civil War has lasted for over twenty years. The basic cause of this war is that the Tamil Tigers need the northern
part of Sri Lanka called “Jaffna” in order to be able to rule the Tamil Ethnicity. The Sri Lankan government has rejected this
idea all of this time, and thus there has been war. The government’s obdurate position is foolish for it has caused the country
to spend countless money on a war without end, unable to invest in the welfare of the citizens.

[Body=proving the topic sentence/thesis statement with hard evidence (first paragraph)]:

There have been a lot of bombings and killings over the past twenty years; and the civil war has had a devastating impact on the
economy. The government has had to spend a lot of money in its war efforts and the economy continually gets worse with each
passing year of the war. Because of the war, the government does not have money to spend on education or health care; so
education and health care concerns have been given a low priority.
[Body=proving the topic sentence/thesis statement with hard evidence (second paragraph)]:

Most people who have jobs receive very low salaries in Sri Lanka and for those who manage to get a college education obtaining
a job is extremely difficult. When it seems as though no other job prospect is available, many young people join the military.
They do this with full knowledge that many of their peers have become disabled or died due to the conflict. The poor economy
has led people to have living conditions that are miserable.

[Conclusion: Summarizing the main ideas, offering a few extra facts not in the introduction and the body to make the work
stimulating, persuading the reader that the topic sentence/thesis statement is now proven]

There is only one way to solve this problem and that is to give the northern part of Sri Lanka to the Tamils so that they might
have a semi-autonomous state. Then the Sinhalese majority can live peacefully. This will lead people to have better living
conditions, better health care, a better educational system, and a brighter future.

XVII . EN 305 Note the fact that you have seen two “cause and effect” essays. They are the essay on air pollution, and this
essay on the Sri Lankan War. In the first essay it is slanted toward explaining a commission that needs to be created to address
the problem. In the Sri Lankan essay it has more of a cause and effect emphasis. In a cause and effect essay you have to explain
what created the problem and the ramifications of that problem (in other words, what created the problem and what bad effects
have happened because of the problem).