Proofing, Drafting & Editing Workshop

This workshop will lead you through the essential stages of reviewing and refining your
work, help you make the most of your knowledge when writing and provide top proof-
reading tips.

Teaching Points:
1. What’s the difference – drafting, re-drafting, editing & proofing?
2. The editing and redrafting process
3. Strategic thinking: editing and redrafting checklists
4. Proof-reading: tricks of the trade

Learner Development Unit

http://www.brad.ac.uk/learner-development/
 1. What’s the difference – drafting, re-drafting, editing &
proofing?

Closely related activities – aim is to identify problems and allow you to improve overall
quality.

 Drafting = writing a first

Draft version to be edited later.

Edit  Editing = revising and

(Revise) adapting an earlier version against
quality markers & the brief/the
question.

Redraft

 Redrafting = it’s unlikely that

your best work will ‘flow out’ onto
Edit the page the first time - once the
(Revise) original has been edited it is written
up again.

Redraft
 Proofing = once content and
composition are as good as they
can be, it is about making sure that
Proof the work is ‘technically’ accurate.

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Activity 1: an Editing/Redrafting or Proofing Job?

1. Appropriateness of argument

2. Grammar

3. Position of ideas

4. Punctuation

5. Level of Formality

6. Order of sections

7. Spelling and typographical errors

8. Word choice

2. The redrafting and editing process

Draft • e.g. from ‘has it answered the

question’ to ‘has all relevant
Text material been included’?
Edit
(Revise)

• e.g. from ‘can items be cut or

Redraft
merged’ to ‘are critical points
linked with phrases and
Edit Sentence connectives’?
(Revise)

Redraft • e.g. from ‘is the language

formal’ to ‘are there
Word typographical errors’?
Proof

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  3 Rs = Reworking or Replacing and Refining content and structure;

 Involves adding, removing and reorganising elements as a whole;

 Focus on whole document and connections between points made and/or

paragraphs;

 Improving the text by ‘re-writing’ it to ensure it meets the assessment criteria.

ALL DRAFTS WILL NEED A FULL REDRAFT AT LEAST ONCE – ACCEPT IT!

Activity 2: An Edit for Word Count

This is the introduction and first paragraph from an essay on e-business.

Working in a pair, go through the extract to identify where things can be replaced or
reworked to reduce the word count whilst maintaining the meaning. This is known as the
Concept of ‘Brutal’ or Hard Pruning.

This essay attempts to evaluate the business model and e-strategy of web
based business Amazon.co.uk. The success of Amazon.co.uk will be analysed
through different services that it offers to customers specially focusing on
their online book service and z shops. It is based on the mixed research of
articles and literature obtained from different writers.

Before embarking on an approach to analyse the business model, there is a

need to explore the meaning of the business model. Paul Timmers (2000) has
defined the business model as: “an architecture for product, service and
information flows, including a description of the various business actors and
their roles” (p.46). Although there are different kinds of business models but
they have all got one thing in common, they are designed to make money for
their owners in the long run.

(136 words)

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The Concept of Soft Pruning – potential cuts are shown in italics.

Tautologies
Tautologies are using words together with the same meaning – so one is unnecessary.
Revert back
Unite together
Sink down
Join together
Follow after
Mutual cooperation
Advance planning
New innovation
Falsely fabricated
Ascend up
Collaborate (or cooperate) together
Penetrate into
Hoist up
Redundant words & phrases
These are words that do not add any useful information to the main verbs or nouns in a
sentence.
General public
Divide up; filled up; burn down; eat up
Discuss about
Important essentials
Reduce down
More preferable
Sufficient enough
35 acres of land
A number of examples
Circular shape
True facts
A team of twelve workers
Major breakthrough
Meet together
Small in size
Long-winded Sentences
Some students think that these are expected of them in higher education. Not so. Keep
sentences short and eliminate the waffle
Example:
The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004, gathering
leading minds in business intelligence and the analyst community, to gain expert consensus
on the topic. The aim was to encourage dialogue and discourse to focus on how business
intelligence can address key strategic challenges concerning customers, costs, competition
and change.
(53 words)

Alternative (Better) Version

The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004 for
business intelligence experts to discuss key strategic challenges concerning customers, costs,
competition and change. (26 words)

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 3. Strategic thinking: editing and redrafting checklists

Maintaining an active list of issues/oversights to be checked for in any given draft helps
you to adopt a systematic approach to reworking your own papers in a consistent way.

 Redrafting, editing and proofing can be made easier by, over time, collecting
your key areas for writing development into a single place.

 These can then be systematically addressed for repeated drafts until you feel as
if you have caught as many of your typical pitfalls.

 Use: formal feedback (marking); informal commentary on your writing (tutorials

etc.); info about best practice in writing.

Here are two suggested formats for starting and then maintaining a list:

Process-driven:

Aim/purpose Content Structure/organisation Language-style

Am I still clear what my Is it clear what main points I am
purposes were in this expressing in each paragraph?
assignment?
Have all sources of material
Is my topic clearly been cited and referenced?
stated?
Have I used examples when
Is there a clear central appropriate?
argument or point of
view in the Are my facts correct and up to
assignment? date?
Do I feel I have Is there evidence of wide
achieved the reading in this assignment?
assignment aim or
purpose? Are any quotations I have used
relevant and correctly
Could I sum up my referenced?
central position or
point of view in the Have I made clear which points
assignment in a were not my own?
sentence or two?
Have I avoided bias and
Have I really answered admitted alternative views?
the question/engaged
with the set task? Do my conclusions follow
logically from my evidence?
Have I followed expected
conventions in terms of
referencing, bibliography, etc.?
Will the structure of my Have I checked for
essay be clear to the obvious mistakes in
reader? spelling, punctuation and
grammar?
Have you defined any key
terms in the introduction? Does the language
express your arguments
Have you made explicit with appropriate force and
connections between your conviction?
introduction and
conclusion? Is the document written in
an appropriate style, e.g.
Do I make links between in the third-person;
one paragraph or section objective language?
and the next?
Is the length and number
Does each paragraph of sentences in each
contain just one idea? paragraph suitably
varied?
Have I used headings
where these might help Have you expressed your
the reader, e.g. in a argument in language
report, or non-traditional which is as clear and
essay? concise as possible?
Have I used graphs, Does the essay read
tables & diagrams where smoothly and easily? (If in
appropriate? doubt, try reading it
aloud.)

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Hierarchically driven:

• Do I sum up my central position in a sentence or two?

• Do my conclusions follow logically from my evidence?
Text • Do I link one discussion point to the next?

• Do my subjects and verbs agree?

• Do I use colons & semi-colons accurately?
Sentence • Have I made sure that there are no overly long sentences?

• Have I run the spell check?

• Have I used formal English or resorted to ‘chatty’ expressions?
Word • Have I any typographical errors?

4. Proof-reading: tricks of the trade

Be clear about what proofing (checking) is and where it fits in the writing process.

 Take a break between writing and proof-reading. Set the paper aside for the
night - or even for twenty minutes!

 Proof-read at the time of day when you know you concentrate best.

 Proof-read backwards. Begin at the end and work back through the text line by
line. This will force you to look at the surface elements rather than the meaning
of the paper.

 Use resources. If you're not sure if you need that comma or whether to use
"affect" or "effect," look it up in a grammar book or an online language resource.
Make use of dictionaries to check spellings.

 Ask someone else to read over your text and help you to spot errors.

 Know your own typical mistakes. Before you proof-read look over texts you have
written in the past. Make a list of the errors you make repeatedly.

 Place a ruler under each line as you read it. This will give your eyes a
manageable amount of text to read.
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  Proof-read for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most frequent
problem, go through the paper checking just that one problem. Then proof-read
again for the next most frequent problem.

 Use the spell-checker on your computer, but use it carefully. It is a single

proofing tool – not the single proof of the text! Computer spell-checkers often
make errors - they don't always know the difference between there, their, and
they're, for example.

Activity 3: Know Your Common Errors

1. I wasnt sure weather to laugh or cry.

2. My sister liked to make sure all her video’s where in alphabetical order.

3. Its so hot outside – it’s a good job I brought that suncream in the chemist
yesterday.

4. Your requested to remove muddy footware before entering the lounge.

5. “IT Advise will be available from 10-12pm”.

6. He's so competitive that I always pretend to loose so we don't have a row.

7. I'm sometimes too independant for my own good.

8. I would of thought that it was an easy mistake to make.

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Activity Answers
Activity 2 – An Edit for Word Count

Here is a suggested edited version that greatly saves on words and avoids needless
repetition.

This essay attempts to evaluate the
business model and e-strategy of
web based business Amazon.co.uk.
The success of Amazon.co.uk will be
analysed through different services
that it offers to customers specially
focusing on their online book
service and z shops. It is based on
the mixed research of articles and
literature obtained from different
writers.
Before embarking on an approach
to analyse the business model,
there is a need to explore the
meaning of the business model.
Paul Timmers (2000) has defined
the business model as: “an
architecture for product, service and
information flows, including a
description of the various business
actors and their roles” (p.46).
This essay will evaluate the
business model and e-strategy of
web based business Amazon.co. uk
and will focus on their online book
service and z shops.
Before analysing the business
model, there is a need to explore its
meaning, Timmers (2000) has
defined the business model as: “an
architecture for product, service and
information flows…” (p.46).
Although there are different kinds of
business models, they have one
thing in common: they are designed
to make money for their owners.
(78 words)

Although there are different kinds of

business models but they have all
got one thing in common, they are
designed to make money for their
owners in the long run.

(136 words)

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Activity 3: Know Your Common Errors

1. I wasnt wasn’t sure weather whether to laugh or cry.

2. My sister liked to make sure all her video’s where in alphabetical order.

3. Its It’s so hot outside – it’s a good job I brought that suncream in the chemist
yesterday.

4. Your You’re requested to remove muddy footware footwear before entering the
lounge.

5. “IT Advisce will be available from 10am-12pm”.

6. He's so competitive that I always pretend to loose lose so we don't have a row.

7. I'm sometimes too independant independent for my own good.

8. I would of have thought that it was an easy mistake to make.

10