S i t u a t i o n S h i p

SituationShip

Elias Whitaker

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Copyright

A l l ri g h t s r e s e r v e d .

E l i a s W h i t a k e r © 20 1 5

N o p a r t o f t h i s b oo k m a y b e r e p r o d u c e d

m e c h a n i c a l l y o r e l e c t r o n i c a l l y, e i t h e r b y
p h o t o c o p y i n g , p r i n t i n g o r b y an y me a n s o f
e l e c t r o n i c t r a n s f e r, w i t h o u t t h e w r i t t e n p e r m i s s i o n

of the author.

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Table of Contents
Copyright ...................................................................................................... 2
Introduction.................................................................................................. 5
The Girl: the Women: the Heart / the Boy: the Man: the Mind................... 7
The Mind vs The Heart ................................................................................. 8
The Boy - The Man - The Mind ..................................................................... 9
Defense .................................................................................................. 11
Leverage ................................................................................................ 14
The Down Fall (He lied, she cheated) ....................................................... 16
Cheating...................................................................................................... 19
I'm not a player, I just crush a lot ............................................................ 22
The boyfriend player .................................................................................. 22
The baby daddy player ............................................................................... 23
Seasonal Player........................................................................................... 24
The married man ........................................................................................ 24
Situationship .......................................................................................... 25
Relationship: ............................................................................................... 26
Single: ......................................................................................................... 26
SituationShip .............................................................................................. 27
Reversal ...................................................................................................... 31
Interpretation ............................................................................................. 32
Feelings .................................................................................................. 35
Testimonials ........................................................................................... 37
“Ay Mama Mia” .......................................................................................... 39
“In Love with Love” .................................................................................... 41
“Oklahoma City Finest” .............................................................................. 41
“The Lady at Mac” ...................................................................................... 42
“The Dallas Cowgirl” ................................................................................... 43

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Introduction

Have you ever met someone of the opposite sex and hung
out with that person a couple times? Did you just happen
to enjoy the outing with that person? Did you happen to
share a good kiss or indulged in sexual pleasure with that
person? Hung out with them a couple more times and
enjoyed their company? Then when someone asked you
“what are you guys, I mean you and that other person?”
and you couldn’t explain what it was you had going on?
You guys weren’t boyfriend or girlfriend or even share a
title; we are past the age when folks called it talking.

Dating is cool but you have gone past the dating guidelines,
fuck buddies are cool, but you respect the situation more
than just giving it that title. You try hard to conjure up an
answer, and you say; “just like Facebook, it’s complicated”.
However, there is nothing complicated about it, because
you are two adults getting to know each other and learning
about your current situation. Well this my friend, is what I
like to call a “SituationShip”.

Hope I hooked you in with this intro because this book is

going to stir up a lot of questions and controversy. This isn’t
one of those “how to be a player” guides for men, it’s
actually dedicated to women and my tremendous hours of
experience with many different women from various walks
of life.

This book is going to break down to you the various

components of chemistry between men and women. It’s
going to break down why a man thinks the way he does,
and why a woman operates the way, she does. It explains
why neither party is wrong for standing strong for their
beliefs. A Harvard professor or Stanford lawyer didn’t write

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this, and no studies or books will prove that what I am

saying is wrong, this is not classroom knowledge – this is
street sense, a distillate of street credibility and experience.
I can guarantee you that both women and men will agree
with what I am saying that it makes sense and feels real.

No, I’m not a psychologist or a rocket scientist, I’m just a

well-educated college graduate, grounded in the ways and
traditions of the street, well groomed in my twenties
entrepreneur trying to pay my way. So take this ride with
me, and please hold all your questions until the end
because I might answer everything you want to hear.

Elias

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1
The Girl: the Women: the Heart / the Boy: the
Man: the Mind

I t is no surprise that Gods first gift to man and to the

world; was a woman. See a man was created from the
land and God blessed the Man and the land with a
counterpart for the man so he wasn’t lonely and she came
from the man’s rib. Which means the man wasn’t complete
without the woman. Yes, Women you are that special and
important to the men and we can’t live without you. If the
man around you hasn’t told you that, then that’s because
he feels like you already know. Not to mention a Woman
convinced a man to eat the forbidden fruit, which caused
him to disobey his God, the one who created him and gave
him a woman. That’s pretty deep, therefore, ladies the
power is in the Pussy. We all know that. A little bit of humor
would not kill you, would it?

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The truth is that men and women are complete opposites,

not just because of being a man and woman thing, but also
because of the thought process. A man thinks with his
mind, which gives them the logical thought process, and he
uses that to address a situation. However, the woman
thinks with her heart, which makes it a feeling or an
emotion versus a solved algorithm. This is why a woman
hardly understands the ways of a man because the mind
and the heart have two different conversational patterns.

The Mind vs The Heart

The Mind and the heart have two completely different
patterns of dealing with things; the mind is logical while the
heart is emotional. I’m sure you may have been involved or
you know a friend who has been in a bad relationship, and
you didn’t understand why the person stayed in the
relationship. You’ll talk about it and they always try to leave
or break up with the person, because they realize they are
not in a good situation and want out. However, for some
odd reason, this is the umpteenth time you all have had the
conversation, the friend keeps coming back, and you don’t
understand why. Well even though in their minds they feel
like they are done, their heart is not letting them go and
they feel tied to the awful person in some way.

The mind put 2 and 2 together and realized that logically it

equals 4, but even though you know it equals 4 your heart
tells you that you can put 2 and 2 together to make 22. The
women’s heart will always out power her logic because they
are women and they are created based off on feelings and
emotions. Little wonder why some people refer to them as
emotional beings. This Understanding helps you to know

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why women make the decisions they do, and why men
operate the way they do. Neither party is wrong because you
can never make a woman feel like her emotion/feeling is
wrong because it’s an emotion and not a resolved problem
through an algorithm like a man’s logic.

This is why I can never argue with a woman because my

logic is right and her emotion is right. Now for the ladies
getting mad, no I’m not saying that you all don’t have logic
I’m just saying that emotions fuel you more than any man's
logic ever will.

The Boy - The Man - The Mind

I’m sure the ladies have been waiting for this part, The Boy
- The Man - The Mind. Ladies I do want to start off by
apologizing for all men right now because we are all not the
same and I have heard some of the “off the wall” things a
man as had to say before, and I understand why a lot of
these women feel like men are shit. To my defense, I can
say you’ve been looking in the wrong places but then that
wouldn’t be accurate because I don’t know where you have
been looking.

However, I can tell that if you’re looking for the ideal man
like he is prince charming and that’s not going to happen.
It’s a new day and bright new age ladies, and men have gone
through their fair share of situations and have had hard
lessons of life, which have caused them to probably act the
way they do. Now a woman is probably saying men do us
wrong always, and we deal with it. Remember ladies you all
are fueled by your heart, so you know how to deal with your
emotions a lot better than a man does. Prime example of
how a man views things and how women may view them.
When a man sees a color to him its Blue, Red or Green but

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them same colors to a woman is different. To her, the color

is Sky Blue, Radiant Red or Olive Green. What does a man
care with all that?

Now like I said neither party is wrong, it’s just the man
using his mind to make a decision and the women using
her heart to make the decision. Now you ask what would
happen if a man used his heart to make a decision and a
woman used her brain to make the decision. Shit, I Don’t
Know! LOL email your question in and we can talk about it.
I hope that this will give everyone a better understanding of
the thought process of either the man or the woman. Don’t
worry we are getting closer and closer to the breakdown of
what a SituationShip is, and that is the aim of this book.

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2
Defense

U sing Offense as a tactic, you could win games;

however, defense wins championships. We are all very
familiar with this line. This doesn’t apply to sports alone,
but in your daily life as well. When you step out your house,
get into your car, and hit the road, you have to play defense.
You never know who or what on the road will try to run into
you, that’s why they say a defensive driver is a safe driver.
Well, this applies to the average person when dealing with
the opposite sex or when entering into a SituationShip.

Sharing something special with the opposite sex is always

a great feeling, connecting with someone and sharing love
is a great feeling. However, playing defense doesn’t mean
you have to wall it up, it just means you are ready and
expect everything that is to come. Remember your partner
is only human, they are not perfect and thus cannot act
“accordingly” they will mess up and make mistakes. With

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over seven billion people in the world, their eyes may

wander to someone else - it's just human nature, it may
intrigue them. You have to learn to understand that and
operate accordingly.

You never really ever know a person and with social media
now you really don’t know a person because more people
live online than they do in person.

Leave room for errors, understand that people make

mistakes, and won’t be perfect. When you’re in a
relationship or married, you just want your partner to be
committed to you. You want them to put a wall up and not
share what you both have with anyone else. However, you’re
selling yourself short, because even though you may feel
that you have a perfect 10 connection with someone.
Someone else in a different bracket may show you how they
are an 11 and give you what you haven’t seen before or been
a part of. There is so much life and a bigger and more
interesting world out there, worth more than just being
stuck in one place for the rest of your lives.

Why just have one song on your iPod or ask the DJ to play
just one song the whole night in the club. It is normal and
natural to want and accept change. I’m not telling you not
love someone I’m just telling you to be aware that not
everyone will live up to your standards. Most folks come
into the game playing offensive trying to win you over; they
show you all the glamor and glitz. You don’t really get to
know a person until a couple months of being with them
and getting to know them. Some folks have real life
problems, some people are struggling, and some people
don’t match up to your standards. All the while, you were
caught up in the charm or the good time, and you don’t
think of knowing what real life situations you have going

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on. Nevertheless, when real life hits and you are past the
honeymoon stage, all the truth and the reality dawn upon
you, and reality will prevail.

To most people, this will throw them off because you’re only
taking the person for the cover of the book they showed you,
versus actually opening up the book and seeing it for what
it is – going for the face value. This will hurt and cause you
to be distant from the person because you had high hopes
you believed it was all a hype. Playing defense will keep you
prepared for everything and nothing will surprise you. This
keeps you in a neutral zone where you can still make
decisions that won’t be detrimental to your feelings or to
your life. Always Play Defense this is very important. In a
situation like this, nothing will fool you or throw you off
guard because you understand anything is possible
regardless of what the person tells you.

Defense is very important it keeps you safe from

disappointments, hate, broken heart, and any fatal
outcome that may come out of a situation. Now many ladies
may be saying well how do you operate while always playing
defense if it’s like having a wall up. Playing defense is just
simple; it is having the understanding and the awareness
that nothing is perfect. It’s an understanding and knowing
that folks mess up, and promises can be broken.

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3
Leverage

L everage is a game played universally from relationships

to SituationShips and unto business deals and just life
period. Leverage is a way of life gives one person more power
in a situation, which will allow you to assume the control.

Leverage is good, but you have to be sure you are playing

the game right and being truthful to yourself and to the
situation. Don’t get caught up playing the leverage game
and not being truthful to yourself, because all that will do
is put you in the midst of a game you’re not equipped to
play. In addition, this causes you to become emotional
instead of being logical. Leverage how you are feeling
without giving the opposing partner the complete control of
the situation. Give and take is the name of the game, give
enough as well as take enough, but always put yourself in
a position where you are in control. If you’re always, on the
defense then you cause your partner to always play offense
and in turn, you get what you want out of the situation, and
have the SituationShip working for your favor. Now you
ladies must be saying, “my pussy is leverage enough,” well
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if that’s your thought process then you have just lost the
leverage game to a man like me, and you may become
sexually frustrated dealing with me. Nevertheless, we are
not talking about just me, and I don’t represent all men in
this situation. In most cases, women leverage your goodies
for what you want in certain situations, but the ideal
situation to leverage is through the thought process. Some
things may appear perfect but understand everything has
its flaws, remember nothing is perfect.

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4
The Down Fall (He lied, she cheated)

M ost relationships end because one person cheated,

somebody is getting bored, or both partners are no
longer having fun. Some even say they have grown apart
from their partner. I’m sure these are some painful things
to hear from the person you have committed yourself to.
But then, why the lies and the cheating? None of this would
even matter in a SituationShip. Loyalty is definitely
important and required but for you to be faithful to your
partner matters little because you are in a SituationShip.
This means, “You do you, I’m going to do me, and
sometimes we will do each other.

I know this doesn’t even sound right to you ladies, but a

Situationship is formed for the simple reasons of keeping
everyone safe from the potential heartbreak the potential
unhappiness with your partner. One day all the washing of
your white pair of socks will become dingy and you will want
to buy a new pair of white socks. Change is good and

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something appreciated and fresh is always great so what

makes you think this doesn’t apply in life.

As a kid, I never understood the concept of the 7 wives but

when I grew older and reached this age, I then realized that
it’s the smartest thing to do and most genius thing ever.
This is solely coming from a man’s perspective, Women I’m
sorry I still haven’t found out a solution for you yet. I know
it’s a double standard and you will be perceived as being
promiscuous if you had seven husbands, so I don’t have an
answer for you at this point. Let me figure it out and get
back to you.

So the theory of the seven wives is this, each woman

possesses a different quality that the man likes or needs in
his life. It’s just like a whole pie and each woman is a slice
of this pie that makes it complete. So in today’s society if
you just remove the wives and marriages, and your dealing
with let’s say 5 different folks in a SituationShip, then you
are completing your pie. One partner may be the “good
time” that you like to have, one partner may be and provide
you with the stability you need, another partner may just
be the financial freedom you’re looking for, the other one
may be the good sex life you have desired. Many people have
different needs they want to fulfill. That’s why you create
Situationships instead of forming and creating multiple
relationships with people and being labeled as a liar and a
cheater.

Now, ladies you may be sitting here and saying, “but my

man is all the pie I need he feels me up.” Well, that may be
true but eventually, you’re going to want something fresh
and new. You may jeopardize a long time friendship by not

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entering into a Situationship in the beginning instead of a

relationship.

A Lie in a relationship comes from the fear of hurting your

partner’s feelings, the fear of losing them to something you
may have done. Breaking someone’s heart can leave an
everlasting pain and impression on one's life, but fracturing
it will just leave them with the understanding and enough
time to pull out before they are completely crumbled or
before they “SNAP”. To a man, what I’m saying is logical
because we use our minds. However, to you women reading
this, it sounds completely dumb and just sounds like I’m
trying to be a player. Which is not true at all, it just comes
from a place where you can expect someone to not lie to you
or cheat on you his or her whole life. What they don’t tell
you or you don’t know is probably what you are saying now.
But then, that’s still a lie they are living with, and it could
be eating them up or if it ever leaks out it may crush you.

Giving your partner the space they need, to spread their

wings and fly free in a SituationShip will guarantee you
don’t make the wrong decisions when dealing with
someone. They can open up more without being judged.
Most folks just play the perfect role until they are in a
relationship. Once they get the person they want, then
switch up. The good morning texts may stop, the lunch
dates may end and now your just with this person because
it is comfortable.

No one wants to be caught in that game of “she cheated so

I’m going to cheat” that is terrible. Who really wants to live
like that? Now you feel you are sleeping with the enemy and
you should both remove yourselves from the relationship
period because now it is just all downhill from there. This

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may sound like words from a person who has a problem

with commitment, and that is definitely not the case at all.
It’s just words of a person who understands “Defense” and
understands feelings, emotions and the way of the world.

Cheating

This applies to the sex process also; a man is just having

sex with a woman to get the pleasure of sex while a woman
is an emotional sexer. Therefore, when a man cheats he
doesn’t feel he is really cheating he is just enjoying the
orgasm he is going to achieve by another woman. However,
when a woman cheats she is doing it to fill a void and
because she actually may be feeling something towards the
other person. Jody, from Baby Boy, said it the best; “I make
love to you, I just fuck other bitches from time to time”. Now
to a woman she feels that is the dumbest thing ever.
Nevertheless, to a man that makes sense, because to him,
it’s just sex with the other woman and an enjoyable time
but he loves you and wants to have something with you and
he sees a future. However, to a woman, this is the hardest
thing to understand because it’s not something the heart
comprehends. They feel since you love them you should
want no one else and they are all you need, so it’s not real
love. When in all actuality the person loves you, they just
enjoy new things from time to time. Therefore, when a man
says he didn’t cheat like that, then this is what he meant
by it.
Creating a Situationship with people you get involved with
can save you a lifetime full of unnecessary problems.

Now ladies I know you’re mad and I’m not saying cheating
is alright, but you have to be honest with yourself do you
expect a man or fellas do you expect a woman just to be

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focused on you and only you day in and day out, for the
rest of their lives? I sure hope not and this is what you have
to understand, that there are a billion people in the world,
you sell yourself short just by stopping at the first one you
felt you made a connection with because you don’t know or
haven’t seen what the world has to offer.

Now people are just acting human, and from time to time,
people want change, or have a spark brought to their life.
Unless you’re constantly on your toes doing new things
spicing it up even after they feel like it got old, then you
have to understand that you run the risk of your partner
wandering off. If you give them space and keep everything
a Situationship then folks wouldn’t ever feel compelled to
have to cheat, lie, or be secretive because you’re in a
situation with no restraints. The moment you leave a
Situationship and create a relationship, you have so many
restraints and guidelines it makes things difficult. A
Situationship is relationship freedom, giving both parties
the freedom to do as they please while having respect and
an understanding above all. The downfall of 80% of
relationships is as a result of someone cheating. The
excuses stem from the situation getting boring, “I just got
uncomfortable”, “I don’t see us growing past this”, or it may
be the urge for something new in their life. A Situationship
was created to keep everyone happy and to enjoy what life
has to offer in the opposite sex. I don’t condone cheating,
because with cheating also comes a feeling of betrayal from
your partner. Therefore, I definitely do not condone that,
but in a Situationship, it is ok to have multiple situations.
Do not be messy and do not expect everyone to be able to
adapt to the Situationship lifestyle that fast it’s a process.
Remember the thought of a sin is still a sin so the thought

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of cheating, my friend is cheating so adopt the teachings of

a Situationship into your life.

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5
I'm not a player, I just crush a lot

I 'm not a player, I just crush a lot is not just a famous line
from a Big Pun Song, but it is truthfully the best way you
can describe a Situationship if you like. To just give it the
title of a player is just not right. In this chapter, I will break
down the 5 types of players that exist out here.

The boyfriend player

The boyfriend player is the player that everyone is familiar

with; he is in a relationship with multiple women, not just
a platonic or friendly relationship, but also an actual
committed relationship. He is a player because they do not
know about each other, he is able to keep it up because he
lies and plays the game. The boyfriend player keeps all his
girlfriends away from each other, and the key thing is they
don't know about each other.
The boyfriend player has all his women on a schedule and
gives them all time so they don't fill a void or become
suspicious in the relationship. A lot of work is required to
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handle this task. He must always erase text messages,

clean out hair from bathroom or bedroom, constant
changing of the sheets. The boyfriend player must pride
himself on not ever getting caught and always keeping up
with himself and his women. Social media can be
hazardous and dangerous for many reasons when dealing
with multiple girlfriends. He must always keep girlfriends
apart and you must never ever get caught. Getting caught
cheating is how they would look at this because you entered
into a committed relationship with these women and now
they are confused because they didn't know it was more
than one. This guy, "The Boyfriend players" ending could
always turn out bad if he is ever caught.

For Mr. SituationShip, well read the book you should know
what he is about.

The baby daddy player

The baby daddy player is the one who has a baby mama; a
girlfriend, a side chick, and a new boo. This guy feels like
he is a player but in all actuality he just can't let go of his
baby mama and he also wants to have something new but
not to leave his old situation. The side chick and the new
boo come into place usually because he wants the attention
of someone new while his baby mama and the new girlfriend
get into it. He usually wants an outlet. The fact of the matter
is that this guy always wants to have some type of women
he can always turn to. The baby mama won't go anywhere
because they share a kid and things don't really change,
with respect to feelings, between them. I didn't make this
up this is just from real observation and understanding of
what things are.

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Seasonal Player

This guy is usually just a player when summer time comes

around. He enjoys bouncing from women to women until he
finds the one he may want to settle down with just for the
holidays. This is the guy you usually catch out at every
spring break in Miami, Panama beach, Cancun. Like, let’s
be real who wants to be tied down and bring sand to any of
these beaches.

The married man

This is the “I once was a player, but I grew up” type of guy.
He is also the guy always trying to force his new beliefs on
all the other player types. However, don’t convert me just
because you converted let me figure it out. There isn’t
anything wrong with the married man. In my circle, this guy
has been every player in the book with the exception of the
“Baby daddy player”. However, he has finally settled down
and found the one that gave him the feeling he needed out
of life. Now once again I’m with the married man player I’m
only referencing the ones in my circle and how they
operated before they settled down. They usually have gone
through their share of women and have finally decided to
give their all to one of them. If it was the boyfriend player
he just finally chose one and dropped all the others, if it
was the seasonal player, they finally found one to be with
through all the seasons. Now if they operated like Mr.
SituationShip then all they did was learned how to turn a
Situationship into a Relationship. Jersey has been hung
and retired of this guy.

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6
Situationship

T His is the chapter we have all been waiting for. I went

through the motions of breaking everything down to
you, and now I’m going to describe to you scientifically, why
a Situationship is the new best thing to be a part of, and to
form with new people that may interest you.

A Situationship if I had to give it a dictionary definition

would be; entering into a free-spirited union with someone.
Now you’d be saying what exactly does that mean, well
then, let me break it down. There are billions of people in
the world and if you’re a person like myself then I’m sure
you like to travel and meet new people all the time. What
inspired me to write this book was came from me and the
way I deal with the women around me. At the time this book
was being written, I was in seven Situationships. Yes,
ladies, don’t even think about telling on me, they all knew
about it, and who the others are or had an idea. One thing
is for sure they all knew that they were not the “only one”.
No, I’m not necessarily having sex with every last one of
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them, indulging in a SituationShip doesn’t always mean

that you are sexually involved with the person all the time.
We are going to discuss the pros and cons of being in a
Situationship so I can cover all the questions that you may
be having.

Being in a Situationship doesn’t make you in a relationship

(black) or Single (white) it keeps you in the gray area. Just
think about the honeymoon phase over and over again. It
ensures that the situation stays interesting fun and stress-
free. Let’s do some breaking down first.

Relationship:

 Committed with one person

 Must be dedicated, faithful and loyal to him or her
 No lying
 No cheating
 No spending time or getting to know anyone else
 You and them and no one else
 Must consider others feelings
 Can end ugly if trust is lost, or if someone cheats or
betrays the other

What relationship lasts forever?

Single:

 You have options but no choices

 Free spirit to do as you please
 No one's feelings to consider
 If you get lonely you may at times force yourself to get
into a relationship
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 Always seeking the next relationship

 You get to date and meet people

SituationShip

 You have choices and options but not settled down

with just one
 You can get to know many people and enjoy several
peoples company
 It's like the ultimate test ride (If it doesn’t work you
can send it back whenever)
 You do you, I’m going to do me and sometimes we will
do each other
 Utmost respect for one another
 Lies won't matter because you don’t have to ever let
me know what it is your doing
 Cheating doesn’t apply because I don’t need to know
what you got going on
 Be loyal to me but you don’t have to be faithful

When dealing with women some just want the truth, others
want to be lied to, and then you have the ones who are just
here to go with the flow. Most say they want the truth but
a lot of them can’t handle the truth. The crux of the matter
is this; I respect you and your decisions, and wouldn’t ever
disrespect that. We may hang out chill go to dinner a movie
or out for a good time. We may even enjoy each other
sexually. Everyone has a past, and everyone will have a
future, people aren’t perfect so I wouldn’t expect anybody
to not cheat or lie. Therefore, I form a situation where none
of those negative factors can even exist.

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Being in a Situationship ensures safety or playing defense.

Now for women, this may seem like a man is afraid of
commitment or can’t settle down with one person. However,
what it really does is keeps everyone in good standings with
various folks you come across while involved in relations. A
break-up can get ugly between a man and women that
could possibly bring heartbreak, drama or just a stressful
time. This comes from the high expectations that the person
you’re dealing with won’t cheat, lie, or let you down.

When entering into relationship things can get complicated;

you may have liked the person but only really knew what
they had to offer on the surface. Sometimes you feel like
“damn I may have rushed into this maybe we should slow
it down”, but feelings have been involved, sweetly whispered
promises have been exchanged. You feel like backing out,
but it might be too late. You come to find out that you don’t
really have anything in common; everything you shared was
just a front to lure the person in. Now you’re just in a
relationship where now you are just going with the flow of
things because you have become used to the person and
don’t want to start all over. People, to me, this is a bunch
of crap! I’ve heard this story or seen this scenario several
times before.
You have to understand that everyone has a life you may
not know about, everyone has problems you may not know
about. Sometimes you don’t want to or even need to be
taking on another person’s burden. Keeping situationships
I guess can make you feel like you may be the ultimate side
chick or dude, but it does remove you from detrimental
situations in a relationship, situations that can tarnish or
destroy a future relationship of any sort with this person
ever again. I’ve met several people who were once madly in

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love or head over heels for each other. Then months or years
later, that same set of persons that claimed they couldn’t
breathe without each other or that they loved each other so
dearly, now hate with a passion.
This is because in the relationship you allowed yourself to
be consumed by your partner, you saw perfection in the
happiness you had but forgot that this person is still
human. They could do no wrong because the honeymoon
stage had you believing everything is great and couldn’t go
wrong. Suddenly, down the line to protect your feelings, he
lies to her or she hides something from him. Now, trust is
lost and feelings are hurt. They start to question everything
and no longer feel secure in the bond and relationship that
had been formed. Things get worse and a feeling of betrayal
kicks in, and now you feel like the person you once loved
and were consumed with, is now an enemy.

Ladies and Gentleman who have been scorned, this is how

you felt. This is why I introduce Situationship it’s a bond
but with no intense commitment and guidelines. Yes, a
Situationship can lead to a relationship, which can go one
of many ways good because they get to know each other at
first or bad because it just wasn’t meant to happen.
You're never supposed to force what doesn’t fit, and no
matter how much you care about a person if it just isn’t
working then it's not meant to happen. There could be more
in store for you with someone else. Open your mind to
situationships, this allows you to fully get involved with
multiple people on a platonic level or sexual if you like. It’s
a big difference from just sleeping around, you're actually
getting to know multiple people and enjoy their company
getting to know them and all of their operations before
jumping head first into a lifetime commitment.

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Where have you been? Who are you with? What are you
doing there? Who is that girl or that guy? Who is texting
us? Who’s that girl or guy that put that emoji under your
picture? These are all question asked by an insecure Man
or woman, in a relationship where trust is lost but the love
is still there. In a Situationship, none of this question would
apply to you because it doesn’t matter what I am doing or
what you are doing. Let’s only share the positive things with
each other. I have never met someone and out the gate, they
just start telling me their problems, or giving me, insecure
gestures and we just met. That would be weird and creepy,
I’m sure everyone would agree on this. Therefore, you take
a Situationship and feel like every time is the first time.
Good Morning text, or phone calls, random lunch or dinner
dates with your situationships. Work the field, play the
board games. Ladies go have lunch with Ronald in Marina
Del Ray, have some drinks in Hollywood with Kevin and
then head home and cook a dinner for Travis. Fellas Take
Tammy for donuts and coffee in the morning, meet Amanda
for ice cream at the park during lunchtime and go to a
movie with Amber later that night. Have fun explore the
world take trips, meet people, learn new things from the
world, listen to people and their stories, see what the world
has to offer.
Your past is your past and this is no refresh button on your
Penis or Vagina, you can’t un-fuck anybody. So just, take
it for what it is, and move on past it.
Always remember that whatever you decide to indulge in,
you have to be complete and come into the agreement
100%. That 50/50 is out of here, no one wants to have to
build someone up. You want to be able to come together
with you man or woman and be able to build something
bigger and better as a power couple, or as a team. In a
Situationship, this also works as well because it allows you

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to focus on the build without having the distractions of

focusing on a relationship. Watch how you will no longer
connect with your situation because you have an
understanding and they better not trip they need to know
their place. You only want to be happy and you should
ensure your happiness by any means. Staying with
someone forever may work if you happen to love him or her,
but I’m sure you will eventually get bored and when they
become too predictable; you’re going to want something
new.
No one is still using Myspace.com or BlackPlanet.com
anymore because everyone upgrades/updates get
something new. A Situationship keeps things fresh and
new, keeps everyone on their toes and it also brings
competition, and competition is healthy. If they choose to
compete for your time let them compete, never say no to
someone interested in ensuring your happiness.

Reversal

Situationships can and will get tricky if you do not operate

it right and give everybody an understanding of what’s
going on. Don’t do any of this behind anyone, because then
they feel played and lied to and let down because they had
their mind set on other things. Make it clear to the person
that, “I enjoy hanging out with you and time we have, but I
have other people that I deal with also”. You let them know
this out the gate, so that way they have a chance to play
defense and control their emotions. People will fall into their
feelings and yes, we always know that, especially women. I
would rather fracture your heart with the truth than to
break your heart with a lie. This means that the truth may
hurt your feelings and upset you but I still informed you
what was going to happen and what is happening, so if you

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continue to be a part of the Situationship then you can and

if you choose not to be then I understand. Now you may
loose a couple of good ones, but they always come back
because they respect your truthfulness and what you are
doing. I have been blessed to say that any women I have
ever dealt with may have been upset with me or hurt by me
at a point in time, because they didn’t understand the
SituationShip process. Nevertheless, they respected my
honesty and always came back around once they had an
understanding of it and played the part.
Some may not understand this process and will attempt to
indulge in a SituationShip but run it by lying and not being
truthful, or they try to be a player. That’s not what this is
set up. This only works if you know how to be truthful to
yourself, and know how to be truthful to all of the women
or men you are dealing with.

Interpretation

Every time I meet a new woman when I’m out of town, and
the connection is good with a matching chemistry; I am
prepared to just enjoy a good time and to take it for what it
is. This is because I know that just meeting this woman, I
am sure of it that she has someone back home, or is
currently dealing with someone, but it isn’t working out. I
don’t get mad or cut the women off when this happens
because everyone has a past or everyone has somebody
because nobody wants to ultimately be lonely without some
companionship of the opposite sex. Several times, I have
shared good moments with a woman out of town, only to
find out that she is married or has a boyfriends or fiancé
back home. It used to throw me off, I never could
understand how that was possible. How could a woman
spend that quality time with me, and make me feel like that

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but ultimately have someone back home? I then learned

that people are going to be people and they are going to do
what it is they want to do.
Now most people will sit here and say well if you knew, she
was married why you continued to indulge in the situation.
Well, that’s a good question; I have dealt with about four
married women in my 26years of roaming this earth. One
woman didn’t even tell me she was married, she just told
me she been with her dude for 10 years and they have three
kids together. However, that came out to be a lie because in
fact they were actually married, but they always use that
line that they were going through things and I was their
breath of fresh air. Oh, boy if I were paid for every time I
heard that line, I would have a fat account right now. As far
as the other women, yes, they told me but what rule or law
was I breaking? I have no ties or friendship with your
husband so what does it matter, you and your husband
share a bond. Which makes you disloyal and unfaithful to
the oath you took with this man, not me, or what do you
think?
So tell me how am I to give my all to someone, commit to
that one person, stop playing defense, and allow myself to
be consumed by just that person? This would leave me in
shambles and turmoil when it goes bad and it will in the
long run create a life long enemy, if the fallout was big.

In past relationships, I always found out when the women

were cheating by the lies she told in the beginning of our
relationship. Once you lie to me about something small, I
know you will not hesitate about lying to me about
something big, therefore, all trust is already lost.
Nevertheless, being young and immature I stayed with the
person because I was sexually attracted to them like it was
a covenant. Both times this happened to me, I ended up

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falling in love but was always on the defense from the first
fall out, I already knew what was going on, and what to
expect. Therefore, when everything hit the fan and more
information leaked out on how much she was really doing
and the extent of things. It didn’t completely crush me or
send me into a depression because I had already prepared
myself to be on the defense. Now what I did to ensure I was
on the defense and not heart broken is probably something
we don’t need to discuss but just always know that it takes
two to play that game. When you’re always being accused
of cheating or talking to someone or hiding things from your
partner; then you must ask yourself, where did this come
from?
You be surprised how in tune with the women I really am,
and how I know and understand all the moves and actions
they make. Oh yeah, that’s probably because I was raised
by a woman and I am very much a mommy's boy.
Nevertheless, that’s not why, I just understand life, and why
folks will do what they do, I have observed human actions
with kin interest, through you might call autodidacticism; I
have come to understand human nature. Life is about being
your best; it’s about achieving the highest goals you want
to accomplish. If you’re in a relationship with a man, that
is a seven on a scale of 1-10, and one day you meet a man
who is an 11, more to offer educates you and shows you
things you never have seen before. Do you stay with your
seven and figure it out with him? I’m sure you have years
of your life to spend on someone else life, or do you go with
the 11 and upgrade your life? I’m sure you all had many
answers but the best answer is this you keep them both
and put them in a Situationship and keep living your life
and enjoy what they both have to offer…..
“SITUATIONSHIP”

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7
Feelings

F eelings; Oh Boy, I’m sure most of you women that know

me probably bypassed the whole book and came
straight to this chapter. Yes, I’m laughing out loud right
now as I write this. Nevertheless, it's simple, and it’s ok to
have feelings it’s understandable that in your various
situations you may catch feelings and that is okay, because
once again you’re only human.
You have to understand your feelings and be in control of
them, and always play defense. If you stay ready, you don’t
have to get ready. You can like someone you can by all
means fall in love and that is fine, but don’t go blind to the
extent of not seeing or knowing what is real. Prepare the
worst, but hope for the best. remember even the devil was
once an angel. So with that said expect perfection from no
one. Everyone is liable to make mistakes, most partners put
too much on each other. Stop looking for what you’re
lacking or missing in your partner. A relationship shouldn’t
be 50/50 it should be 100/100. Meaning you come into the
relationship not lacking or in need of anything, this way you

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are able to form a solid partnership with whoever you deal

with. The relationships or Situationships that lacks
something and then trying to fill a void, by using the
partner, this always fails because expectations are too high.
You can love someone, have feelings for someone and be
consumed by the person; this can be dangerous. Prince
charming and the “happy endings” are only for Disney
movies, life didn’t come with a “How to Guide” so expect
folks to make mistakes and to change.

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8
Testimonials

T his is the final chapter of the book and a very interesting

one at that. This chapter was created after the book was
already done but I wanted to give the book just a little more
excitement. Therefore, what better way to do that than
getting some women I have dealt with an opportunity to
speak on their experience with my “Situationship dealings”
and me. Now every woman is given a special title to their
testimonial just so they are not recognized by the public.
Some folks like to have private lives but I can honestly say
that the five women who I asked seemed very excited to add
their very own touch to the book. I altered none of the
stories I let all the women speak their minds and express
themselves in this section whether it makes me the
“Author” look bad. In this section, the women will be
referring to me as the “Author” we don’t need to see my
name or pseudo name 100 times. After you’re reading
ladies, feel free to submit some stories about your dealings
with certain men, or how you feel about situationships. This
book is meant to create controversy and stirs up

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conversation. I didn’t hold my tongue and I don’t think you

should hold yours. Therefore, as you prepare for this final
chapter of this book keep in mind everyone is only human
and I am very charming.

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“Ay Mama Mia”

My experience dating The Author has been exciting, fun,

heartfelt, warm, crazy, lonely, disappointing, and amazing
all in one. In the beginning, it looked like something right
out of the movies. I will never forget the first night we met,
it was at a nightclub in Hollywood CA. I was out with some
of my girlfriends in the middle of the dance floor; I had on
a black and lime green two pieces. When all I kept hearing
over the music on the mic was, "Check the babe out with
the lime green on!" I looked around as if I was not wearing
a lime green top. He just kept saying it and I still was
looking around trying to see whom he was talking about. It
did not dawn on me, until I looked around and everyone
was looking at me, including him. Then right there I felt I
was like (lack of a better term), the Baddest bitch in the
club. It was just like wow the DJ’s looking at me, I guess he
just made me feel so special at that moment. We exchanged
numbers and started dating after that.

At first, I will admit I was hesitant to date a person with

such status. I knew about the groupies and things that
came with being with someone like that, so I held back a
lot. We would talk on the phone a lot, something I never did
before. We would FaceTime because he said he wanted to
see my face, I just remember getting so excited when he
would call me. He just made my heart skip a beat every time
I heard his voice. We went on a lot of dates. The Author even
took me to work with him when he would DJ. He was just
so spontaneous, that's what I loved about him too. You just
had to be dressed and ready for anything. We could go to a
nice restaurant or we could go to a club on our dates you
never know. I felt he was a free spirit like me, but alas, I

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was wrong. The Author turned out to be one of the biggest

jerks I have ever met.

It all started when The Author invited me to spend a

weekend with him. What weekend you ask? Oh just the
weekend of February 14, YES VALENTINES DAY! I was so
excited, my valentines days before that were never special.
Therefore, I'm thinking I will finally get to be with someone
on Valentine's Day. All these things going through my head,
"Is he going to ask me to be his girlfriend? will I get a
present? When we got to his apartment, after he came and
picked me up from my house; which was more than 70
miles away from his. There were girls at his apartment; I
figured they were for his roommate since his roommate was
single. We had a lot of fun, but it did not quite feel really
romantic. It felt like a bunch of friends hanging out. It did
not bother me much, that the Author and I were not really
focused on each other but I was having a good time that it
did not matter. I am a real go-with-the-flow type of girl.

It did not hit me that the joke was on me until we were all
drinking and playing games in his living room. The subject
of "Situation-ship" came up. A "Situation-ship" is two
people who just have a situation with each other, it could
be that you guys are dating or just having sex, but you guys
are involved in some type of way. Anyway, he goes to say he
has a "Situation-ship" with me and the girl sitting next to
me. I was devastated here I am thinking it was just him and
me and we might get serious after this, but no after picking
my face off the floor, I knew that I could never be with a
man that thought this type of behavior was ok, at that
moment I felt like a joke. I felt everyone was laughing at a
joke I did not think was funny. He is the reason I stayed
away from guys in the music industry, they just don't take

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you seriously. If they do there is always a little chick hiding

under there wing.

“In Love with Love”

Dealing with Mr. the Author is always fun, exuberant, cool,

and exciting. He's the perfect gentleman, goal oriented, and
driven. Always took care of me and looks out for me when
I've hung with him or supported him. The only issue with
him is his timing and not being able to keep his word at
times. His schedule is busy, which is understandable BUT
due to that, our friendship stayed as friendship. I have
never had an issue with being around a lot of women while
hanging and chilling with the Author. He never disrespected
me. I'm not into situationships, fake relationships, and
haven't ever thought to have that type of relationship with
anyone, besides the support he wants; but don't have time
to give, as he continues to grow and mature, he'll definitely
be a good man to a Blessed woman or some woman who
down with the Situationship thing. His good relationship
with his mom is evidence that when he's ready, he'll be
good.

“Oklahoma City Finest”

What can I say about the Author, is that he's as real as it

gets. I can't help but love him because he keeps it 1000 and
his energy is so damn contagious. He has that little boy
inside of him that keeps him turned up to the max, but he
also has a man in him that's hard to unlock and that's
where the difficulty comes. Getting that other side of him
unlocked is a challenge, which makes him hard to date. In
the beginning, of my friendship with the Author, I think I
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was unsure of who he was and his motives so I was a little

uncomfortable with all the women coming around, because
I usually am a selfish lover/friend. It became apparent that
he meant no harm and that's just who he is, so I let him be
himself, which is another thing I loved about him. He allows
you to be yourself. I do not do the Situationship stuff that
they talk about these days. I keep it locked tight lol, I'm a
traditional woman when it comes to relationships and ill
wait for the right guy before I get my feelings involved with
a man that belongs to everyone or doesn't know what he
wants, so that's not really a problem of mine.
Situationships are basically bullshit to me and any woman
that gets involved is just fooling herself because nothing
good comes in the end.
“The Lady at Mac”

Situationships are a defense mechanism. It allows us as

humans to feel protected by its title but, in the long run,
somebody if not both parties will end up heartbroken and
we all know that when a heart breaks it doesn't break even.
If men and women were created to not have emotions,
feelings and specific thoughts towards the opposite sex, this
arrangement will be nothing short of perfect, but since
that's not reality, I feel as though situationships should be
thought through, and not taken as lightly.
I remember my first encounter with the infamous Author
like it was yesterday! I guess it's safe to say I was snowed
by the powerful energy he brought to the room. Impressed
or not I had a stronger than usual guard up against him
from our first hello. It was like I knew him in a different life,
which allowed me to draw the conclusion that he was
trouble. However, to fast-forward two years later what I've
come to learn about him is much deeper than what I
expected or what I was ready for. Once I finally got past his

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hard exterior and macho man demeanor I was able to

unlock a door that led me to who he was as a professional,
a friend, and a man. His compelling presence created a
gateway to a world that I would want to exist in. However, I
was oblivious to knowing being part of his world would
result into a Situationship. So as I sit back, just enjoy our
time together, and play my role plenty of questions rise to
the surface, one in particular is; does this man believe in
monogamy? Friendships, situationships, and relationships
whatever type of ship I'm on with him, it's up to me to
understand there will always be other women aboard! This
is where I put my confidence to the test! Let's be clear, it
has gotten tricky because the feelings that were supposed
to be left at the door are now trying to invite themselves in.
My solution is to remain comfortable with what I've signed
up for, play my part, and most importantly not lose my
battle to stay unemotionally involved! It's to be said
situationships never work out but since mine is still in full
effect, surviving and "excusing his intentions and giving
into my pretentions". Carelessly, I'll continue to take this
thrilling drive down what's disguised as Lovers Lane.

“The Dallas Cowgirl”

When I first met you, I wasn't sure what to think or expect,

I knew you were popular but I wasn't trying to get to know
why. Meeting you at Dave & Busters with my Aunts was fun
and different but I started looking at you in many different
ways! Such as a friend, possibly Boyfriend, someone I could
confide in because you were so cool.
Then you came over and I cooked for you and then it
happened, smh, that's when a different bond was formed
one that was unbroken. It lasted less than 5min but you
were a different type, so I overlooked it. Then we just

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stopped talking and one day you called me and I went to

your room to see you and I witnessed a business meeting
you had with your friends. It turned me on and I took you
down again and it was again less than 5min but I told you
don't trip because I wasn't here for that.
You came and met my kids and I was like, damn I can see
myself having a family with this man! I saw the growth in
you, the heart and potential you possess. You came to
family events and I started to fall for you but I saw that your
life was too fast for the kids and me and that we didn't fit
in! I wanted to give you the world and what all Great men
want and need; a loyal Family and a Woman who believed
in you no matter what and one who you were obsessed with,
and a child of your own!
Then you came over with your friends and we had a ball
and right when it was happening you told me that you had
a Girlfriend. I stopped it! I wanted to cry but I saw you were
hurting and I wanted to be that Friend you needed and I
was happy I did because you opened up to me; months later
you told me she was a whore lol!

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Notes

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