Designing Your Life

Designing Your Life
John Chancellor
© Teach the Soul – 2007 1

Table of Contents
Introduction
You have the power to design your life. Designing
your life is a process. Nothing magic, just follow the steps
Core Beliefs
Your core beliefs determine your actions. If you want
your circumstances to change, you must change your core
beliefs.
Mindset
Mindset is an established set of attitudes. We need to
have an open mindset. A closed mindset will not allow us to
expand, grow and accept new things.
Getting Clear
Too often we do not reach our goals because we are
not totally clear. You must get clear about what you want.
Hitting a target requires that we know what we are aiming at.
Setting Goals
Learn how to set goals. Learn what a SMART goal is.
Set goals that are positive.
Taking Action
Nothing matters unless you take action on your goals.
Become a person of action. Aim, fire and adjust.
Overcoming fear
Fear keeps more people from achieving their goals
than lack of skill, education or money. Learn to recognize
and overcome fear.

Time
A common complaint today is lack of time. Everyone
seems to be suffering from insufficient time. You can’t
manage time. You must learn to schedule, prioritize and
manage your projects or tasks. You cannot manage time,
you can only manage yourself.
Associates
The people that we associate with will always have a
direct bearing on the quality of our lives. This is in terms of
money and satisfaction. We need to choose our friends very
carefully. Although we do not get much choice in who are
relatives are, we do have some control over the time we
spend and the influence we allow them to have on our lives.
Making money
Most people are concerned about money or the lack
of money. Yet they do not study money. They really do not
understand what money represents.
Persistence
The most successful people are not necessarily the
smartest people. The most successful people are the ones
who decided on a particular path in life and stuck to it long
enough to become successful.
Summary
Designing Your Life is simple and can be reduced to
two concepts – Getting clear about what you want and taking
focused action toward your goals.

Further Study
As you will learn from this book, designing your life
involves constant learning and growing. You need to
become a student of life and business. Here you will find my
recommendations for further study.
Appendix A
Goals Worksheet
These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals

into step by step action plans. You need to clearly state your
goal, get clear on why you want to achieve this goal and the
difference achieving this goal will make in your life. Then
you need to identify the resources needed and possible
sources of obtaining the resources. Then breakdown the
goals into individual steps necessary to achieve.
If you are working from a hard copy, you can download

additional worksheets from WWW.XXXXYYYZZZ.com

Designing Your Life
Introduction
Are you getting all you want from life? Is your life what you
had always hoped and dreamed it would be?
If you want to design a life that is special, different from the

run of the mill, you are going to need to do a lot of things
different. You cannot do what everyone else does, to follow
the crowd and expect to have an exceptional life. It just
does not work that way. To have an exceptional life, you
must separate yourself from the crowd.
What if I told you that you had the power to design whatever
life you wanted? How would you feel knowing that you could
design whatever lifestyle you wanted? Pretty powerful stuff,
right?
Well the truth is you have that power. You have always had
that power. Now here is the part you may not like, you
actually designed your life as it is now. Well maybe you did
not design it at all. Maybe you just took what came your
way. Maybe your life has been totally reactive. But even
then you choose to be reactive rather than proactive. So by
default, you designed your current life. We will go much
deeper into this, but just for now, realize that you are
responsible for your current situation.
Here is a very powerful truth. If you designed your current

life, either by choice or by neglect, you can design the life
you want.
There is one thing you must understand. If you want to

achieve a certain lifestyle, you must design it. You must get

a clear picture of that lifestyle. It will not happen by accident.
You cannot expect to achieve your dream lifestyle simply by
drifting along and taking life as it comes.
Now I know very well what you may be thinking. That there
is no way to get from where you are to where you would like
to be. There is no magic that will make you a rock star, a
standout movie star or a professional athlete. I am not about
to tell you that you can ever achieve anything that is totally
unrealistic. But if you have average intelligence, are willing
to clearly focus on your goals and do the necessary work,
there is nothing that can hold you back. There are two
problems that most people face. The first in getting a clear
focus on what they want and of course then doing the
necessary work.
While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals,

you certainly can achieve a very high degree of wealth, your
ideal life mate and a life filled with purpose.
If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime, how much time

and energy would go into the planning the vacation? Quite a
lot. You would search out all sorts of information about
things to do and see. You would find the best deals on
flights and hotels. You would ask all your friends if they had
any experience or knowledge about your dream location.
And here is what you certainly would not do. You would not
show up at the ticket counter of an airline and tell the ticket
agent, I going on my vacation of a lifetime. Where do you
suggest I go?
But that is what so many people do in life. They go off on

life’s journey with very little planning. For you to have the
desired results on your ideal vacation requires a lot of
planning. The same is true of life. You must decide on what

you want. This cannot be a mere wish. You really need to
get very clear. One of the best ways to get clear about the
life you want is describe it in writing in great detail. We will
go into the specifics of setting goals. For now, I just want to
give you an overview of all that is involved.
Here is an overview of what we will cover.
Your core values and beliefs
This is what determines your actions. Your actions, based

on your belief system, determine your circumstances. If you
want to change your circumstances, you must change your
belief system.
Based on your core values and core beliefs, you should

develop a vision statement. This is the vision you have for
your life. You will also be asked to develop a mission
statement. This will outline how you bring your vision into
reality.
Open mindset
You must be open to doing things differently. You must

have an open mindset, allowing you to look at life from a
different perspective. If you cannot accept new ideas and
embrace change, you will not be able to change your belief
system. You will continue doing the same things you have
always done and you will get the same lifestyle you currently
have.
Getting clear
You will need to be very clear about the life you want to
design. Achieving happiness is not designing a lifestyle.

Achieving happiness is much too vague. What constitutes
happiness? You will need to get clear about what you truly
want in life. Getting clear demands that you get very
specific. You cannot want a good job. Your subconscious
mind cannot focus on a good job. You will need to be very
specific about just what constitutes a good job. And you will
need to be specific about what you truly want in each area of
your life.
Setting Goals
Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You

will need to develop goals in all areas of your life. You may
think that only your income needs improvement. But your
life is not just your job or your income. You need to have
balance in your life. Otherwise you will be like a car with a
flat tire. The ride will be bumpy.
Taking action
When all is said and done, it does not matter how much you
know, how clear you are or how solid your belief system.
Unless you take focused action, all it for naught. The results
you want in life can only be achieved with focused action.
There are generally two reasons that people do not take
focused action. One is they are not quite sure where to start
or exactly how to do what they are supposed to do. The
other reason, the big one, is fear. We will address both of
these roadblocks.

Overcoming fear
We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the

unknown. Almost everyday we hear about people that won’t
get out of their comfort zone. The truth is we all experience
some degree of fear when we encounter the unknown. And
as we have seen, if you want to be successful in designing
your life, you will need to do some things different. You will
have to venture into some areas that will be new to you.
You will experience some fear. It is normal. Accept it. But
do not let it stop you or keep you from reaching your
potential. We will explore different ways to deal with fear.
Time
Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At

least in the amount of time we have. No one gets a break
here. We all have twenty-four per day. Yet some people
seem to get things done with ease while others are always in
a panic, behind schedule and rushing around. We must
learn to schedule our activities, prioritize and then
concentrate on the most important ones. It really does not
matter if some things simply don’t get done. Leave some
things undone and our lives are the same way – undone.
Associates
It has been said that our income will never exceed the
average income of our five closest friends. Who we
associate with has a direct impact on our quality of life.
Who we choose to associate with can expand our

philosophy and outlook on life or it can be limiting. We can
be uplifted and draw strength from our friends or we can
associate with those that drain our energy and dampen our

spirits. Choose your friends wisely. They will have a
significant impact on your life.
Making money
If you are like most people, making money is at or near the

top of your goals list. We live in a consumer oriented society
and it takes a fairly decent level of income just to cover what
most people consider the basic necessities of life. It does
not do a lot of good to cover all the theories of goal setting,
gaining clarity when you are not sure how you are going to
put food on the table. This section will give you some
insights on how to make an above average income. But
please understand - making money is not the end game.
Designing the life style you want is a process. You cannot
skip to the making money section and dive in. Unless you
get clear about your core beliefs, understand and develop an
open mindset, get clear about what you truly want to do, set
smart goals and take focused action, making money will
always be difficult. All these things are building blocks to
develop the skills you will need to make the money you
desire.
Persistence
The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest

people I know. The most successful people are the ones
who decide on a path in life and stick with it long enough to
master the skills required to be successful in that particular
field.

I know plenty of very bright people who can see the
opportunity in countless business and personal situations.
They are great at spotting opportunity. The problem is they
never stick with one business or one endeavor long enough
to totally master the intricacies of that particular business.
They are always jumping on the newest idea or opportunity.
If you are going to truly be successful in life, you need to

develop persistence. In any new venture, it is common to
meet with initial success before encountering some
problems. Most people abandon the race when the
problems start. Successful people stick with it and
overcome the problems. They are persistent.

Reaching your Personal Goals
I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have

everything in life a person could possibly want. It seems like
they never have any financial worries. They appear to love
their job. And their home life seems perfect. When we meet
or think about someone like that, most of the time, we tend
to think how lucky that person is.
The truth is they are not lucky. Except for random acts,
there is no such thing as good luck or even bad luck. Luck
has been defined as “to meet or acquire by accidental good
fortune.” This would apply to winning the lottery or any other
such random event. But the person whose life is a total
success did not obtain that position by accident.
Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets

opportunity.” There are opportunities before us at all times;
we are literally surrounded by them. So the missing
ingredient must be preparedness: most of us are not
prepared to seize on the opportunities that exist everywhere.
All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s

lives to luck when we should really attribute it to
preparedness. Likewise, we often blame bad luck when in
fact the real cause of the problems is being unprepared.
If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in

life, you simply must be totally prepared. You will not

achieve that level of success by accident. And even though
we place a lot of emphasis on education, our educational
system does not really prepare us for success. Our
educational system provides us a lot of information, but it
does not give us a system for success.
Most people think of success in terms of financial

achievement. It is very possible to achieve great financial
success and still not have a successful life. Financial
success means very little if you are not happy with what you
are doing. Even if you enjoy what you are doing and are
earning significant income from doing it, if the emotional,
physical or spiritual areas of your life are lacking, you will not
be happy. Only when you are reasonably comfortable with
all areas of your life will you be content with your life.
This course is designed to help you reach your personal

goals. If your goal is to lead a happy, fulfilling life, you must
strive for harmony in your life. You will need to work on
reaching your goals in all parts of your life.

The following are the broad divisions of your life:
• Relationships: spouse or soul mate, family and

friends
• Work/career goals
• Physical health
• Emotional health
• Financial goals
• Spiritual balance
There is a common thread between all these items. You will

never achieve outstanding results in any area of your life
unless you work at it. Outstanding results simply do not
happen by accident. The same principles that allow you to
achieve financial success work equally well when applied to
any other part of your life. There are specific steps that must
be taken in each area of your life if you hope to succeed
there.
The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach

success in your work or career and in the financial area of
your life. However, you must recognize that no matter how
successful you may become in those two areas, failure to
obtain success in the other four areas will ultimately
undermine any success you have achieved. You simply
cannot concentrate on your work and your finances to the
exclusion of the other aspects of your life and expect to
achieve long-term success.
Your emotional and physical goals are personal and will only
be dealt with here in the most general terms. However, it will

not be possible for you to achieve your financial and work
goals unless you have a positive mental attitude and
maintain a healthy body. The start of any program to
achieve your desires in life should be to develop a healthy
mental attitude and a physically fit body.
You should also understand that there is a significant

difference between your religious beliefs and your spiritual
self. As used here, spirituality has absolutely nothing to do
with any religious belief. Spiritual balance refers to harmony
with your inner self; you must be comfortable with who you
are and what you stand for. These lessons do not attempt to
alter or influence your religious beliefs in any way. But you
must understand that unless you are comfortable with
yourself, you will never achieve true success. You should
get comfortable with how you fit into the greater scheme of
life. You should understand that we all have a purpose in
life. Unless you identify and pursue your purpose in life,
your spiritual nature will be out of balance.
It’s unfortunate, but we as a society have developed an

“instant” or “fast food” mentality with respect to most things.
When we want something, we want it now. We become very
impatient if we have to wait. Often we will change our mind
about whether we really want something if we can’t have it
immediately. We fail to realize that we are the way we are
because of an entire lifetime of things we have done. We
cannot change overnight. We cannot expect to change our
lives overnight. And the impact of the changes will take
even longer to realize. There is no point of embarking on a
self-improvement course if you are not willing to stay the
course until you reach your goals. Expecting immediate
results is folly.

Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. We
begin to experience success when we commit to changing
our lives. With each step in the right direction, we
experience success. There are no bells ringing to signify
that we have arrived. With each step we take towards our
goals, we become more successful. And as we reach
certain goals or milestones, we set new, higher goals. We
continue striving. We learn to seek constant improvement.
We strive for continued growth and learning.
For some people, the definition of success has nothing to do

with money or other material things. Success actually has
no relation to the amount of money you earn. Success is
about achieving your potential in doing whatever you truly
desire to do. I think everyone would agree that Mother
Theresa was a success. Yet she was penniless. Her goal in
life was to help the less fortunate and she was a huge
success in that respect. There is no point in achieving a
great personal fortune if you are not doing what you most
desire.
This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life

and then take the necessary steps to achieve those goals.
The steps for identifying and achieving goals are basically
the same for all areas of your life. We will identify those
steps. In addition, we will go into great detail in dealing with
the work and financial areas of your life. While we
recommend that you do the same with the relationship and
spiritual areas of your life, we will not try to influence or even
discuss those areas – the same concepts apply. It is up to
you once you have learned the concepts to apply those
concepts to the relationship and spiritual areas of your life.
Now that we have covered the overview, let’s get started.

Your core beliefs and how they control your
actions
How do beliefs control your actions?
It is very easy to tell yourself that you had little control over
your present circumstances. That you are a victim of
circumstances. That is was not your fault that you lost your
job, or that your wife/husband left you. If you are looking for
excuses, you probably do not need to look very far to find
someone or something to blame.
But the belief that you do not control your circumstances

allows you to shift the responsibility to others. As long as
your life is not your responsibility, you can feel justified in
being a victim of circumstances.
And for a lot of people, that makes them feel better. After all,
it is not their fault. But those people will never achieve
success in life. As long as you give up the responsibility for
your life to outside events, you will continue to be tossed
about like a ship without a rudder.
Your beliefs allow you to take certain actions. The very first
time you consider doing something, your beliefs tell you it is
okay to take that action. If you continue taking that action,
soon the action becomes a habit. Our lives are ruled by our
habits. But the habit started with our core beliefs.
Continuing to take the actions we take, lead to the

circumstances in our lives. James Allen, author of As a Man
Thinketh, wrote, “You are today where your thoughts have
brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take
you.”

Allen further writes, “Men are anxious to improve their
circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves;
therefore they are bound.” Said differently, if you continue to
do the things you have always done, you will get the results
you have always gotten. If you want to change your
circumstances, you must change the way you think. Unless
and until you change the way you think, any changes in your
life will be temporary. Sheer willpower will not change the
basic path of your life. If you truly want to change your life,
you must change your thoughts.
How do you change your beliefs?
The first and most important step is to accept that you have
total control over but one thing in life. And that is your
thoughts. You have no control over what someone else
does. You have no control over the financial markets, the
weather or any other of the numerous things that can affect
our lives. We cannot control what happens in our lives, we
can control how we react to things that happen in our lives.
So the first step is to

As you think, so you become. take responsibility for
Epictetus your own thoughts.
Epictetus wrote, “As
you think, so you become. Our busy minds are forever
jumping to conclusions, manufacturing and interpreting signs
that aren’t there.” You must take responsibility for your
thoughts. You also need to take control of your mind. That
is, do not let your mind jump to conclusions or manufacture
signs that are not there.
Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame. We

often blame others for things that happen. Ask yourself,
what is to be gained by blaming someone or something
else? You may be quick to point out that at times people do

things that affect us negatively. We cannot control what
someone else does. We can only control our reaction to it.
Does it accomplish anything to blame someone else? If it
does not accomplish anything, why spend the time and
energy doing it. Playing the blame game is a losing
proposition. You must accept what happens. You cannot
change what has happened, so why spend time agonizing
over it? Trying to control events that are out of your control
only leads to frustration.
Resentment is like drinking poison and

then hoping it will kill your enemies. You must
give up
Nelson Mandella anger and
resentment.
If someone has said something bad about you or done you
some wrong, it is very easy to get angry with them. But stop
and ask yourself what good comes from the anger? It is not
a question of did someone do you wrong. The question you
need to focus on is what good comes from anger. If
something is not moving you toward your goals in life, then it
must be moving you away. You cannot afford to take
actions that move you away from your goals. You can invest
a lot of time and emotional energy in being angry. But it will
not move you closer to your goals in life. In fact, anger can
be a hazard to your health. Stress is at the base of the
majority of today’s health issues. And anger increases the
stress level.
Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and

resentment, allow yourself to forgive the person you are
angry. Accept that things happen in life. Accept that you
have no control over lots of things that happen in life. But
you do control your thoughts. And you do not wish to engage

in thoughts that drain your energy and take you away from
your goals in life.
This will not happen overnight. You will need to constantly

remind yourself to respond to things rather than react. Our
natural tendency is to react. If we feel like we have been
injured, our natural reaction is to strike back. To get even.
But that does no good. Learn to respond instead of reacting.
Responding means to consider the best course of action you
should take. Trying to get even often just escalates the
problem. Accept things that have happened, and try to learn
from them.
If you are having trouble learning to respond instead of

reacting, try to have a time out or a cool down period. When
something happens, try to delay any reaction to the event.
Observe how you feel about what happened. Ask yourself
what is the best way to respond to the event. You will need
to take the emotion out of the picture. Just put aside your
immediate reaction and think about how much better off you
are by controlling your thoughts and your actions. Learn to
question your feelings. By observing your thoughts,
becoming aware that you can control your thoughts and
actions, you will start to respond to events rather than react
to them.
Locus of Control
Psychologists teach us that we can have an internal or an

external locus of control. If we have an external locus of
control, we think that events outside our control or internal
factors over which we have no control are responsible for
our circumstances in life. If we have an internal locus of
control, we think that we are in control of our circumstances.

Let me share a little story that will illustrate the concept of
locus of control.
In a small village in India, lived an elderly man. His

major treasures in life were his son and a small pony. One
day the pony wandered off and was presumed to be lost.
The man was deeply depressed over the loss of the pony.
Then a few days later, the pony turned up and along with it
was a beautiful Arabian horse. The old man was
delighted.
The son was out riding the beautiful horse. The horse
stopped short, the son fell off and broke his leg. The man
again was in a state of depression.
A few days later, the army came through the village and
took all young men to fight in a far off war. Because of the
broken leg, they did not take the son. The man was so
grateful.
In this story, the man is constantly being buffeted by

outside circumstances. Happy one day, sad the next. All
because of outside circumstances beyond his control. He
had an external locus of control. He thought his happiness
in life was controlled by factors beyond his control.
Now this is a simple little story but it illustrates a very serious

problem in the way a lot of people think. A lot of people think
that they are victims of circumstances. That they had no
control of what happened to them. In our complex world, the
link between cause and effect is often very indirect. Alarm
bells do not go off when you eat a hot fudge sundae loaded
with whipped cream. But over time, eating such foods will
have an effect on the body. It is easy to trace the cause of
clogged arteries back to our lifestyle. The problem is the
time involved. There is a timing difference. So we tend to
discount or overlook the connection.

But the point is we do have control over our lives. However
if we have always operated in some areas of our lives with
an external locus of control, if we think that things just
happen to us, we will not take responsibility for our lives and
therefore will not make the changes necessary in our lives to
bring about the desired outcomes.
It is a universal law – cause and effect. If we want to change

the outcome – the circumstances of our lives, we must
change what we do. And the first step in changing the way
we think.
We will never take full control of our lives if we are blaming

outside circumstances. You must accept full responsibility
for your life. There is simply no other way.

Where do beliefs come from?
I“II am a part
part of
ofall
allI Ihave
havemet”
met.
Lord Alford Tennyson
Our beliefs come from all we have met – from our parents,
friends, associates, the information we read in books,
magazines and newspapers, radio, television and movies.
In short we filter information from a number of sources and
accept that which fits our basic belief system. Those things
we accept and those concepts we reject both serve to
strengthen our belief system.
So by the time we have reached adulthood, we have a belief

system that is a part of all we have been exposed to our
entire life. Not all of our beliefs are necessarily good. We
have been exposed to lots of information that is not
necessarily good or true. We pick up lots of beliefs from the
adult role models in our lives. Our parents and teachers can
have a very strong influence on our belief system. Because
we are not in a position to make good judgments about what
we should accept or reject, we often accept beliefs that are
not healthy.
Unfortunately after accepting beliefs, we rarely revisit them

or question their validity. Our parents, extended families and
teachers were probably sharing their values and honestly
thought their values were what we should accept. Often
they were simply passing on the values they had been
taught.
If you are going to achieve all you want to in life, you will
need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs and
value systems. This will not be easy. It will also take a lot of

time and energy. Do not think this is something you can do
in a week or two. As you learn and grow, you will naturally
come to question some of the things you were taught as a
child. At times this might be a little uncomfortable. Don’t try
to make drastic changes in your basic belief system. Also,
you should resist the temptation to impose your beliefs on
others.
After crosses and losses, men grow

humbler and wiser.
Benjamin Franklin
You need to realize that your belief system is subject to

change. That what you believe today might not be what you
believe next year. As you learn and grow, things change.
You will become more tolerant of others and you will come to
see the world is not black and white. Things are never quite
that cut and dried. So develop tolerance for others.
As you grow up and begin to experience the normal bumps

and bruises of life, you can expect your belief system to
change. Your core values, honesty, a sense of justice
should not change. But you were probably taught some
things that are simply not true. One thing you must do is
learn to accept people who are in some basic ways different
from you. It may be race, religion, political beliefs or any
number of other things. But you must be open to changing
beliefs that are not true.

Why are habits so powerful?
Habit, n. a shackle for the free.

The Devil’s Dictionary
Ambrose Bierce
I have often said that habits are the most powerful force in
the world. I then qualify that by saying; at least to you habits
are the most powerful force in the world. Habit start off
innocently enough. When we first take an action, we consult
our belief system to make sure the action is in accordance
with our core values. But each time we repeat the action, it
becomes more an integral part of who we are. Eventually
we come to accept that the action is totally okay and no
longer consult our belief system. We react out of habit.
It is estimated that 95% of the things we do, we have done

before. Most of the things we do, we do out of habit. We
take the same route to work; we shop at the same stores
and often eat at the same restaurants. We even get in the
habit of buying the same styles and colors. In short we are
creatures of habit.
In some instances this is okay. We don’t have to think about

the everyday routine things we do in life. However you need
to understand that when you do things out of habit, you are
giving up control of your life. You no longer question if the
activity is good for you. This can be a very damaging
activity. You can get into a routine (some might call it a rut)
and never learn or grow. Habits are extremely limiting.
They keep us doing what we have always done.
If you expect to achieve your goals in life, you need to

understand the power of habits. If you think about it, I am

sure you will come to the same conclusion that I have -
namely that habits are the most powerful force in the world.
However, you can choose if you want to be the slave of
habits or have them work for you. Most things you do in life
will become habits. You will do them without conscious
thinking. So what is the answer? It is quite simple. Make
sure you develop good habits. If you are going to be a slave
to habits, make sure you have good habits that will help you
work toward your goal.
What are some good habits to develop? Daily reading would

be an excellent habit to develop. Daily exercise would be
another. If you really want to save time you could combine
the two. For example you could read while exercising on a
stationary bike. I recommend 30 minutes a day. Further,
you should do it first thing in the morning. If you promise
yourself that you are going to exercise and/or read in the
evening, you will find the majority of times something comes
up to interfere with your planned activity. But if you wake up
half an hour early, you will be able to complete your reading
and exercise without interruption.
It is easy to underestimate the power of reading. First if you

read just 30 minutes per day and you are an average reader,
you will probably read about 20 books per year. It has been
estimated that the average American reads less than one
non-fiction book per year. Think how much further ahead
you will be than the average person. It has also been
estimated that for each non-fiction book you read, you will
increase your earning power by at least $1,000 dollars. This
can add up to quite a sum over a 15 to 20 year period.
Now I believe that you should read material that moves you
toward your goals in life. There is nothing wrong with an
occasional good mystery or other work of fiction. But most

of your reading should be books that will help you learn and
grow.
Another good habit would be to listen to self-help, self-

improvement CDs when riding in the car. You will simply be
amazed at how much you can absorb by listening at least a
half hour per day.
It is also very helpful to give up television. Most people

watch way too much television. This is a passive activity.
Unless you are watching good educational programs, the
sitcoms and reality shows will do very little to help you reach
your goals. Almost everyone complains of a shortage of
time. Yet most people spend a few hours per day with their
eyes glued to the TV. How much of that TV time could be
turned into productive learning time?
We will go into this deeper in the section on goal setting, but

one thing you should get in the habit of doing is taking action
each day toward your goals. Make it a habit to take small
daily steps to achieving your goals. If you try to take huge
steps in a short period of time, you will more than likely fail.
If you take constant action, each and every day, you will
stand a much better chance of achieving your goals.
There are a couple of other habits you should consider

adopting. The first is to start a journal. Each evening you
should recap the events of the day in your journal. The
purpose here is not to list the events so much as to capture
your feelings about the day. What were your successes?
What happened that set you back? How did you deal with
the setbacks? What should you do different in the future? If
you learn to write these things down, you will become much
more aware of how you are reacting to events. This should
dramatically improve your ability to respond rather than
react.

Most people I know are plagued with self-doubt and low self-
esteem. In order to help you overcome that, it would be
helpful for you to acquire a spiral bound notebook and
answer the following questions each and every day.
What am I grateful for today? List at list five or six things in

your life that you are grateful for. For you to be successful in
life, you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude. You need to
be grateful. Develop the habit of being aware of the things
you can and should be grateful for.
What things have I done in the last few days that I praise
myself for? Most of us are very good at kicking ourselves for
things we have done. But we very rarely praise ourselves
for the good that we do. A good habit to develop is to write
down the positive things you have done. It could be as
simple as acknowledging yourself for some actions you have
taken. But if you develop the habit of praising yourself for
the good things you are doing each day, you will gradually
raise your self-esteem. You will become aware of how much
good you are doing in life.
While you are becoming aware of the things you should be

grateful for and the things you should praise yourself for, it
would also be helpful if you became aware of the things that
drain your energy. This can be anger, frustration,
resentment and things like that. As you bring these energy
drainers into your conscious awareness, they become easier
to deal with. I would also suggest you become aware of the
things you fail to do because of some form of fear. Notice
the things you know you should do but do not. Ask yourself
why. Again, as you bring these behaviors into your
conscious awareness, you are in a much better position to
take corrective actions.

You need to become aware of the power that habits have in
your life. You also need to examine which habits are
keeping you in a rut and what you can do to get out. As
everyone knows, it is extremely difficult to break a habit. A
more productive approach is to design a behavior that will
replace the habit. For example if you are hooked on
watching TV, develop the habit of reading or meditating.
Find something more powerful than the habit you want to
replace. If you are finding it difficult to break a habit, you will
want to develop some strong emotional attachment to the
new behavior you are trying to adopt. Give yourself an
emotional reason to adopt a new habit. It could be the self-
satisfaction you will get when you have fully implemented the
new habit.
Nothing is stronger than habit.

Ovid
While it is true that nothing is stronger than habit, there is

nothing that says that all habits are bad. You are going to
have habits. You will be a slave to your habits. Make sure
that you have a good master. That your habits are leading
you toward your goals. If you don’t you will let your bad
habits rule your life.
The foundation for designing your life is built on your

acceptance that you have total control of your thoughts and
your thoughts lead to your circumstances. If you wish to
change your circumstances, you must start with changing
your thoughts.

In his book As a Man Thinketh, James Allen gives us this
passage:
Men do not attract what which they want, but

that which they are. Their whims, fancies, and
ambitions are thwarted at every step, but their inmost
thoughts and desires are fed with their own food, be it
foul or clean. The “divinity that shapes our ends” is
ourselves; it is our very self. Man is manacled only by
himself: thought and action are the jailers of Fate –
they imprison, being base; they are also angles of
Freedom – they liberate, being noble. Not what he
wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he
justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified
and answered when they harmonize with this
thoughts and actions.
If you hope to achieve what you truly want in life, you must
come to the conclusion that your thoughts eventually lead to
your circumstances. In order to change your circumstances,
you must start by changing your thoughts.
It is necessary to give up blame, anger and resentment.

These feelings do nothing positive for you. If it is of no
value, then why engage in blame? Do not allow your energy
to be consumed by anger and resentment. These emotions
will only drag you down. You must learn that you have
absolutely no control over things that can happen to you.
You have total control over how you react to things. It is not
the events that cause us problems. It is our reaction to
events. Learn to respond to things. Accept those things you
have no control over.
Examine your habits. Habits rule your life. Bad habits

develop on their own. Left alone, the bad habits can dictate

how we lead our lives. It is almost impossible to get rid of a
bad habit through sheer willpower. Develop good habits that
replace bad habits. You will be a slave to habits. There is
nothing that says all habits need to be bad for you. Develop
good habits. It is okay to have habits so long as they are
leading you towards your goals.
Exercises:
A basic principal of achieving your goals is focused action. It

has been said that knowledge is power. That is not quite
correct. Applied knowledge is power. For any of the lessons
to truly benefit you, you must put the knowledge to work for
you. You must take action.
There is a further benefit from taking action. Taking

immediate action on a lesson reinforces the lesson. You
forget a substantial amount of what you read the day after
you have read it. But if you take some action on what you
read, you retain much more of the information. You have a
much better chance of internalizing the information. When
you internalize the information, you make it a part of you. It
is so important to combine the lessons with action.
It does very little good to simply read the exercises. You

need to actually do them. Doing the exercises, taking action
on what you are learning, putting the lessons into practice
will greatly accelerate your progress.
1. What circumstances in your life do you wish to

change? It could be income, relationships, health,
career or financial. But list those circumstances that
you are not happy with.

2. Now list the beliefs that may have contributed to the
circumstances being what they are. It may be difficult
to connect all the beliefs directly to a circumstance,
but try it. See if you can identify some beliefs that
have not served you well in the past.
3. Do you have a good idea who you are? What your

core beliefs are? List the things in life that are
important to you.
4. Examine your list of things that are important. Are

those things enduring? That is will they be important
in 5 to 10 years? Are any of the items on your list
material possessions?
5. What habits do you have that are controlling your life?

How long have you had them? Write down how your
life would be different without those habits.
6. What self-limiting beliefs do you have? What have

you been told by your parents, friends and relatives
about how you will do in life?
7. What do you believe that you are capable of doing?

What do you believe that you can become? What do
you think is the biggest obstacle in your path to
achieving what you truly want from life?

8. How important is it that you become successful in
life? Why do you want to be successful?

Mindset
What do we mean by mindset?
Our mindset is “an established set of attitudes held by

someone” according to the Oxford American dictionary.
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,

Carol Dweck advances the theory that there are two types of
mindset. One is fixed and the opposite is a growth mindset.
Most people will have a fixed mindset about some things and
a growth or open mindset about other things.
A fixed mindset means exactly what you might think. We

have a fixed attitude about how things should be. We would
have a fixed mindset about income if we accepted the idea
that the only legitimate way to earn a living would be to get a
job. On the other hand, we would have a growth mindset
about income if we realized there were a multitude of
different methods to earn a living. By limiting ourselves to
only one way – getting a job – we dramatically limit our
possibilities.
There are so many different ways that we can have a fixed

mindset or a growth mindset. We may have a fixed mindset
about the friends we wish to associate with. We may have a
fixed mindset about the type of house, neighborhood or area
of the country we might choose to live in. Any time we have
a fixed mindset about anything we limit the possibilities.
It is extremely important that you have a growth mindset.

You must be open to the opportunities that exist. There are
opportunities all around us. But listen to someone who is out
of work. What do they say? That there are no good jobs
available. Companies are just not hiring.

Listen to a person looking for a soul mate. What do they
say? That all the good men (women) are already taken.
There is nothing left but the undesirable. In both cases the
person has a fixed mindset. They refuse to look at all the
possibilities that exist. Unless a job comes and lands in their
lap, they are unlikely to find one. And unless their ideal soul
mates just happen by, they are likely to look all their lives in
vain.
One of the big ways that our mindset determines our future
is how we think about talent versus work. As a society, we
praise talent. In our society, tall men earn more than their
shorter brothers. Attractive women get ahead faster and go
farther than their homely sisters. Our society has a fixed
mindset about these attributes. However, as employers we
often shortchange our companies by taking such a short
sighted view of things. We should praise hard work, not
talent. We need to look beyond the surface and see the
deeper qualities a person possesses.
A person with a fixed mindset is often arrogant. Thinking that

there is only one way to achieve a goal and they have the
answer. There are generally numerous ways to arrive at a
particular goal. We must be flexible in our approach.
Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset
We need to examine our mindset with respect to prosperity

or scarcity. We either have a prosperity mindset or a
scarcity mindset. How we view the world and its resources
will have a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our
goals.
If you have a scarcity mindset, you view the world as having

limited resources. We tend to think that there is a scarcity of

jobs, income opportunities and relationship opportunities. As
you know by now, what we think about, we bring about. We
manifest that which be believe. Therefore if we think that
there is a scarcity of resources, we tend to horde resources.
This becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. A scarcity mindset
creates scarcity. We become stingy with our time, money
and other resources. We even become stingy with our love.
Can you see the dangers of having a scarcity mindset?
On the other side of the spectrum is a prosperity mindset.

Here we tend to see the world as having an abundance of
resources. There are plenty of jobs, income opportunities
and relationship opportunities. All we need to do is to open
our mind to the possibilities. Since we tend to manifest what
be believe, having a prosperity mindset tends to attract
prosperity to us. We are no longer stingy. We realize that
the more we give, the more we get. We no longer horde our
precious resources. We understand that there are ample
resources to fill all our needs.
Please do not confuse a prosperity mindset with being

wasteful. A prosperity mindset does not waste precious
resources. The average American today waste too many
resources. We buy things that we do not really need and fail
to use the things we have. This is not a prosperity mindset.
This is the hording that comes with the scarcity mindset.
The competitive – collaborative mindset
We live in a very competitive society. This goes hand in

hand with the scarcity mentality. We feel like we must
compete with others for jobs, relationships and scarce
resources. As a result we have developed a “go it alone”
mindset. We do not want to share. We want to do it all by
ourselves and get all the spoils of victory.

We are taught from grade school on to compete for grades,
for sports teams and for academic or school positions of
leadership. Competition becomes inbred.
But you need to stop and ask yourself if this is the best way?
Is competition the way nature intended us to live? Could we
actually stand a better chance of achieving our goals is we
learned to collaborate with others?
We could learn a lot from ants and bees. These are very
primitive animal life forms. Yet they can construct elaborate
anthills and beehives. And they do it by working together.
You will never accomplish anything truly great working solely

by yourself. Edison did not invent the light bulb working
alone. Bill Gates did not build Microsoft alone. No matter
what your goal, you will need help to achieve it. And the
more help you have, the faster you will achieve your goals.
Fast food mindset
Unfortunately, as a nation, we have developed a fast food

mindset. We have come to expect things to happen
immediately. We have our instant messaging, instant e-
mails and our fast foods. We have developed the mindset if
we have to wait, we don’t want it.
That is rather unfortunate. While there are some things we

do not like to wait for, you will need to change your mindset
when it comes to achieving your goals in life. You are where
you are based on a lifetime of thought and actions. You
cannot expect to undo this overnight. You cannot expect to
reprogram your mind instantly. It will take some time.

You will need to develop some realistic time frames for
achieving your goals. You will also need to understand that
you cannot force things to happen on your schedule. If you
have spend a few years building up credit card debt, unless
you are very lucky, you will not make a fortune overnight to
satisfy all your financial needs.
If you try to force things to happen as you want them, you

will meet with failure more often than not. You can achieve
your goals and dreams. You just need to be realistic about
how long it might take.
If you planted a fruit tree, how long would you wait for it to
produce the fruit? Probably a few years. The tree needs to
grow to a certain size before it produces fruit. During this
time, you will need to water and fertilize the tree. You will
also need to prune the tree and protect it from insects and
plant disease. In short, even after you planted the tree you
need to continue working on the tree and you have to wait
until the tree has reached the proper size to produce fruit.
The same is true of your goals. You can set your goals but
you will need to do the work necessary to for the goals to
bear fruit. You need to nurture your goals and do the work
for you to learn and grow. If your goals are stretching you,
you will need to learn new skills, develop new relationships
and make new connections. It takes time. To rush the
process can often result in a premature death.
How does our mindset affect our lives?
As you can see from the above examples, our mindset has a
significant bearing on our ability to achieve our goals. Our
mindset literally shapes our lives. What we think about, we
bring about. Therefore it is vitally important that we develop

a growth mindset. We must be open to new possibilities.
We need to be receptive to new concepts, to new ways of
doing things. If we think there is only one way to solve a
problem, only one path to achieve our goals, we limit
ourselves and may in fact close ourselves off to the path we
really should take.
We often have a fixed mindset about our abilities. We have

often accepted all we have been told about our limitations.
As a child, how many times were you told, “Don’t try that.”
Or, “You’ll never be able to be a _________ (doctor,
professional, or whatever you were told)” or worse yet, “You
need to learn your place.” Most of us were constantly feed
negative messages as children. While they were probably
given with the best of intentions, they became programmed
into our brains. We are now burdened with self-limiting
beliefs about our abilities. We need to open our minds to the
possibilities of what can be.
As children, we were often feed lots of information about the

types of relationships we should develop. Again, our parents
and teachers had what they thought were our best interest in
mind. But for the most part they told us to fit in. Don’t make
waves. Don’t color outside the box or play outside the box.
In other words we were taught to conform. Therefore we
have been conditioned to conform. Successful people do
not do the same things that everyone else does. If they did
exactly as everyone else did, they would get the same
results. The successful people are doing something
different. While I am not suggesting that you be a rebel or
do anything disruptive, you must be open to doing things that
are outside the box.

What is a growth mindset?
It is simply being open to all possibilities. It is not having a

fixed idea about how things should be done. It is being open
to learning new ways to do things. With a growth mindset,
we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived
notion of how the world should work. We are constantly
exploring for new and better ways to do things. We are
seeking alternate ways to view the world.
With a growth mindset, we do not spend time on trying to defend our

preconceived notion of how the world should work.
A growth mindset requires that we are constantly learning

and growing. One thing about learning, the more we learn
the more we realize how little we know.
It is very important that you question your long held beliefs

about things. Learn to be open to seeing things from a
different point of view. You will achieve your goals much
faster that way.
How can we develop a growth mindset?
By simply being aware of your attitudes that control your

behavior. Learn to question or observe why you are doing
certain things. Stop doing thing automatically. Stop reacting
like a robot. Start to look at the reasons why you are taking
the actions you are taking. Observe your feelings about
what you are doing. As you become aware of why you are
doing things, ask yourself if there might be a better way.
Open your mind to the endless possibilities that exist.

Exercises:
1. The next time you are in a discussion, check to see how

you listen? Do you listen attentively? Or is your mind
wandering, thinking of what you will say or worse yet, off on
some other subject.
2. When you hear a question, do you get fixed on the first

answer you come up with? Do you think you are generally
right and know more than most people?
3. Are you willing to listen to other ideas? Do you take

input?
4. Do you feel that you must always have the answer to

each and every question you are asked?
5. How do you react when you are criticized? Do you

become defensive? Are you quick to explain why you think
you were right?
6. Are you totally open to suggestions? Do you seek

counsel from others?
7. When someone makes a suggestion, what is your first

reaction? Do you dismiss it without really considering the
merits of the idea?

8. Do you judge the actions of others before you understand
their motives and intensions?
These need to be answered very honestly.
9. Do you want to make sure you get the proper credit for
your contribution to a task?
10. Do you want to make sure that you get none of the
blame for something you were not really responsible for?
While you might think it only makes sense to get credit for
what you do and not to get blamed for what you really had
no part if doing, this represents a self-centered way of
thinking. Part of an open mindset is to get away from the
self-centered way of thinking. Your concern should be on
getting results – not who gets credit. As previously
discussed, blame should not be part of your way of thinking
or acting. If you get blamed for something – whether it was
your fault or not – simply learn from the experience and do
not try to defend yourself.
11. Do you have unrealistic expectations about how fast

things should be accomplished? Examine your beliefs about
how fast your income should increase. Examine your beliefs
about how fast you should expect to achieve your other
goals. Having an unrealistic attitude about how fast you
should achieve goals will set you up for failure.
12. Do you think in terms of competition or collaboration?

Competition is okay in sports. But in life, we need to learn to
collaborate more with others.

13. How do you view resources such as time, money and
connections? Do you think there is a limited or unlimited
supply of each?
14. Are you looking for more/better relationships in your life?

How do you think about the availability of these
relationships? Do you think they are difficult to establish?
That there all the good partners for life or business is already
taken?
The way you view the world, your attitude toward the world
will have a significant bearing on how the world treats you. If
you have a negative attitude, think the world owes you
something, then you are going to have a difficult time
designing the life you want. On the other hand, if you
approach life with a positive outlook, realizing that there are
sufficient resources available to you, you will be able to
design the life you wish.

Getting Clear
“Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from

here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,”
said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
Lewis Carroll
Alice in Wonderland
In all my time working with people, getting clear has been

the most difficult task I have encountered. Everyone seems
to know that something is missing in life, but they don’t seem
to have a good idea of what they want to fill that void.
When we are working within a structured environment, we

seem to do okay. But when our lives are an empty canvas,
where we can paint any picture we want, we go blank. It
could be that we have so many choices that we are afraid to
make a commitment down one particular path. But whatever
the reason, most people have a very difficult time getting
clear about what they want in life.
There are a couple of techniques you can use to help you

get clear. But before we go into those, let us set some
parameters. Getting clear means getting very specific. You
cannot have a goal of being wealthy. Wealthy means
different things to different people. For some people, wealth
is a million dollars. For others it might be ten million.
You are never going to achieve vague goals. You must be

specific. We will go much deeper into this in the goal setting
process. However for now realize that when we talk about
wealth, relationships, jobs or even starting your own

business, you must be specific. The more specific you are,
the clearer you are.
Why is it important to be clear?
Unless and until you become clear, you will not be able to
take focused actions. You will not have a good sense of
direction about where you want to go or how to get there.
Most people, when uncertain about where they want to go or
how they want to get there simply do nothing. Uncertainty
breeds inaction. Inaction is the death of any goals program.
Inaction is the death of any goals program.

If you hope
to have any chance of achieving your goals, you need to get
clear about what you want. Only by being very clear can
your subconscious mind fix on what you want and begin to
work on finding ways to obtain your goal.
Techniques for getting clear
One technique for getting clear is to assume that you have

all the money you need. Then ask yourself, “Since money is
no object, what would I spend my time doing?” You can
expand this by saying, “Since money is not object and I
know I cannot fail, what would I spend my time doing?”
Another way of getting the same results is to ask yourself, “If
you did not need money to live on, what would you do, even
if you were not going to get paid for it?”
The point of all the above questions is to get rid of all the
normal excuses we give about why we can’t do something.
For example, lots of people will tell you they want their own
business, but they don’t have the financing, the education or
any other excuse. You need to get rid of excuses. The

above questions are designed to do just that. Get rid of your
excuses. If you get clear about what you want, you can find
the ways to accomplish it.
There is a second technique knows as the fast forward.

Doing this exercise, you fast forward for five years. Picture
yourself five years down the road.
Now ask yourself the following questions?

What am I doing for a living?
Where am I living?
Describe your house. How many rooms? What

style? How big is the yard?
Who are my friends?
Describe your soul mate.
How much vacation do you take a year?
Describe your typical day.
How much do you travel? Where do you go?
What do you do for recreation?
The point of these questions is for you to get very clear on

the type of life you want to have in five years or at some
point in the future. Once you are clear, you can work back to
the present. Once you know your destination, you can start
to chart a direct course for getting there.
One thing you need to realize. You are designing a life. You
are not going to design a life. See designing is a process.

On the other hand, once you design a life, it is fixed. Life
should never be fixed. It should be a constant process of
growth and discovery.
As pointed out above, designing your life is a process. You

need to take one step at a time. So when trying to get clear,
do not make the mistake of thinking you can get clear on all
parts of your life at one time. Some parts are dependent on
other pieces of your life being in place.
The best approach is to start on one item at a time. For

example, if you are content with our current job, but are
looking to improve your relationships, then start getting clear
about what is missing from your relationships. As you begin
to work on relationships, you may feel the need to make
improvements in other areas of your life. When you start to
learn and grow, you will find it difficult to restrict your growth
to just one area. You will want to grow in all areas of your
life. That is fine. But do not try to do too much at one time.
Then you will become overwhelmed and everything will fall
apart.
As you start to get clear about what you truly want, make it a
habit to write things in your journal. There is something
about writing things down that forces clarity of thought and
makes the commitment stronger. When we write things
down, we become more committed to them. It is much too
easy to change or make adjustments to an idea in our head.
If you are truly going to achieve success, you must have a
fixed target. You cannot be pursuing one goal today and a
slightly different one tomorrow. Your subconscious mind
cannot focus on a fuzzy goal. You need to be specific. So
once you are clear about what you want, write it down.
Setting Goals

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a
single step.
The Way of Lao-tzu
Lao-tzu
The above quotation is so obvious. Getting started is key;

no matter where you are going, you will never get there
unless you take the first step. So many people are uncertain
about which way to step, and as a result they either stand
still or walk in place. They are afraid to take a step in the
wrong direction, so they never go anywhere.
But you are different! You have made a conscious decision

to begin a journey – a journey of success, a journey of
designing your life. This journey will help you decide where
you want to go and how to get there.
Like any journey, there will be some bumps in the road, and
more than likely some detours. But you will not lose sight of
your goals. You will keep focused on your destination.
When roadblocks appear, you will simply alter your course to
get around the obstacles without changing your intended
destination.
By deciding on a definite purpose in life, writing it down, and

identifying the steps necessary to get there, you will have
separated yourself from the majority of people in the world.
And since you have already taken the first step, the second
and subsequent steps should be much easier. But once you
have begun, it is imperative that you keep moving toward

your goals. It is easy for doubt, fear and old habits to try to
pull you back into your comfort zone. Don’t let them. Don’t
let inertia slow you down or, even worse, reverse your
movement.
If you approach this subject with an attitude of doubt and

resistance, you will gain very little. You must begin this
journey with an open mind, willing to learn anything that will
improve your life. Almost certainly, there will be some things
that you will read and hear that you will not accept. Just
keep an open mind. It has been said that a person only
learns when they are ready to learn. So just store away the
information that you question or doubt. There will come a
time when the wisdom will become apparent.
If you will simply follow the plan, the rewards will be greater
than anything you have ever imagined. The wonderful news
is that each success builds other successes and the rewards
are compounded. It is like the proverbial snowball rolling
downhill. Your rewards will just keep getting bigger and
bigger. And the only limits are the ones you place on
yourself.
There is no mystery to success. There are no secrets. You

simply need to learn the lessons that others have learned.
Develop the same habits that other successful people have
developed and you must be successful. It is as simple at
that. You simply cannot fail if you follow the same path as
other successful people.
In case this sounds too simple, I will admit that there is a

catch: while the process is simple, it is not easy. You will
need to get rid of some old habits and old ways of thinking.
While the results are automatic, they are totally dependent
on your effort. That is, your results will be totally dependent
on the effort you put into this program. If it were as easy as

reading this program, everyone would be rich and
successful. No matter how much you learn, unless you put
into action what you learn, the knowledge is useless. This is
one time that your rewards are totally up to you. The more
effort and energy you put into learning the principles and
then acting on what you learn, the greater your rewards.
Likewise, if you do not put the energy into learning and
applying what you learn, you will have wasted your time
reading these pages.
Let’s begin our journey of success! Let’s design your life!

A Positive Mental Attitude
Success starts with a positive mental attitude. Earl

Nightingale called “Attitude” the magic word. Everything you
do depends on your mental attitude. Nothing is more
important in achieving success than your mental attitude. As
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t
do something, you are probably right.” You will never be
successful at something you don’t think you can do. You will
only be able to do those things that you firmly believe you
can do.
Doubt and fear rob you of a positive mental attitude. They

cause you to wait for the right time. They cause you to see
obstacles and problems at each and every turn. As
Cervantes said, “Fear is sharp sighted and can see things
underground, and much more in the skies.” Fear causes you
to lose self-confidence.
Our attitude affects everything we do. We tend to live up to

our expectations. Therefore, if we have a negative attitude,
if we think the worst is going to happen, that sort of thinking
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
William James, the father of American psychology, said “The

greatest discovery of my generation is man can alter their
lives by altering their mental attitudes.” The truth is we
become what we think about. Improve your attitude and you
improve your life.
If we have a negative attitude towards learning, we really do

not have much chance to learn. If we have a negative
attitude about our job, it will be reflected in our work output.
Our attitude is a reflection of our self. And the world directs
our attitude back to us. If we are sending out a negative
attitude, that is what we get back. If we expect to fail, to not

make a sale, to have a bad day – whatever we expect is
exactly what we will get in the long run.
James Allen, in his wonderful little book As a Man Thinketh,

said, “Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no
intelligent accomplishment. …A man should conceive of a
legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it.
… Only in this way can the thoughts be gathered and
focused, and resolution and energy be developed, which
being done, there is nothing which may not be
accomplished.”
You would do well to read the above quote and memorize it.
If you link thought with purpose, gather your thoughts and
take focused action you can accomplish anything.
Your Goals
Now it is time to actually identify your goals. You should set

separate goals for each area of your life. And you should set
both short-term and long-term goals. A worksheet has been
provided for writing down your goals in each area of your life.
A couple of suggestions are in order.
1. Your goals must be your own. It does not matter what

anyone else thinks you should do or would be good at
doing. If you are going to have the drive and
determination to achieve your goals, they must be yours.
And you must really believe they are achievable. So do
not list “wants” that you really don’t believe you are
capable of accomplishing.

2. You must have an extremely strong desire to achieve the
goal. Don’t list things that would be nice to have. Only
list those things that you are willing to work for, no matter
how much effort it takes to achieve them.
3. Do not worry yet about how you will accomplish your

goals. If you really want something, write it down. Often
people will not list their true goals because they talk
themselves out of it. For example, let’s assume you want
your own business. People will say “I want my own
business but I don’t have the money (or the skill, or
both).” Do not let the means to acquire the goal interfere
with your listing it as a goal. Just make sure it is your
goal and you have a burning desire to accomplish it.
4. One method of determining your true goals has been

described as the “magic wand” method. Wave the magic
wand and decide what you would really want if money (or
a certain skill) were no object. If you wave the magic
wand and are honest you will reveal your true desire.
5. You should list your goals and then, without referring to

your old list of goals, make a new list the next day. Do
this for a few days. What will emerge over a period of
several days is your list of the goals that are most
important to you. It is this list that we want to utilize.
6. Your goals should not involve any other person. You

should not have a goal to be in a romantic relationship
with a particular person. They may not feel the same
way about you that you do about them. In that case you
are probably attracted to some idealized image you have
of them rather than who they really are. It is perfectly fine
to have a goal to be in a romantic relationship. But not
with a particular person. If you are attracted to one
person and the relationship happens to work out, that is
fine. But wishing for a specific relationship for yourself is

overlooking the idea that each person has the right to set
their own goals.
7. When you set your goals for a job, a relationship, a

house or anything like that, always set the goal for what
you want or something better. If you limit your goals to a
particular job or relationship, you are operating from a
fixed mindset. You will not be open to all the possibilities
that may exist. Make it a point to always be open to your
goal or something better.
8. Never set a goal that involves revenge. No matter what

wrong someone has done to you, never seek or even
hope for revenge. That is negative and it will not serve
you well. The old saying, “what goes around comes
around” is true. Also remember the Bible verse,
“Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”
Don’t worry; in the long run, everyone gets their just due.
Do not burden yourself trying to even the score. It will
only drag you down.
Once you have worked with a list of goals over a few days
and narrowed it down or eliminated goals that were merely
wishes, it is time to put the goals in some order. This is very
important. Take some time to think about your priorities.
You want your most important goal to be at the top of your
list. You should have a real purpose associated with your
most important goal. It is the strong purpose that gives you
the drive to achieve the goal. So take some time to write
down why you want to achieve a particular goal – how
accomplishing your goal will benefit you and change your
life. The stronger the purpose, the stronger the desire to
achieve.

A lot of people have trouble deciding on the rank of their
goals. Let’s say you have a list of ten goals. You are going
to need to decide which goal is most important so you will
know where to focus your energy. Most people cannot look
at a list of ten goals and figure out which is the most
important. Here is a simple method to determine the order
of your goals. Look at number 10 and number 9 on your list.
Then make a decision between those two items. Let’s say
you picked number 10 over number 9. Next look at number
8 and number 10. Which is most important? Let’s say this
time you picked number 8. Then make the same decision
between number 8 and number 7. Continue this until you
have compared the winner of each stage with the next item
in line. Eventually you will have compared the all the items,
one at a time. You might not be able to pick out the most
important out of a list of 10. But by narrowing the choice
down to one of two items, you should be able to decide.
A word of caution: the attainment of a certain sum of money

is not a goal. If you believe you want money, you must
analyze further and determine why you want money.
Perhaps what you really want is to achieve a certain level of
savings or to pay off debts in order to feel financially secure.
These are both properly stated goals.
You must also realize that you can only acquire money or
any other thing of value by providing service of equal value.
Money is simply a medium of exchange. It is the benefit
gained by providing goods or services. So if you need or
want a certain amount of money, your goal should be to
identify a valuable service you would enjoy providing.
Concentrate on doing a good job and the money will surely
follow. The sad truth is, if you concentrate on just obtaining
money, you will not provide an exceptional level of service
and will surely not achieve your desired income. But if you

concentrate on providing excellent service, the money must
follow.
We will work with you on work/career goals and financial

goals. You should go through the same process to achieve
goals in the other areas of your life.
One other note of caution. Once you start thinking about

setting goals and taking complete control of your life, you will
probably identify a number of habits or changes you need or
want to make in your life. Do not think you can work on all of
the habits at the same time. To attempt that course of action
will more than likely result in complete failure. Pick out and
work on one item at a time. Build your confidence as you
go. Take the first step and then take it one step at a time.

Rules for Goal Setting
For you to be successful in achieving your goals there are

certain rules you must follow. The following are the rules
and an explanation of the rules.
Your goals must be personal, positive and stated in the

present tense.
Personal – It is easy to make sure your goals are personal.

Just start each goal with “I”. You are the only person in the
world who can use the word “I” when referring to yourself. If
your goal is to achieve a certain level of income, it should
begin with “I earn …”. If your goal is to reach a certain
weight, state your goal as “I weigh …..”.
Positive – The subconscious mind cannot process a

negative. Therefore each goal should be stated in the
positive. If I ask you to not think about a pink rabbit, what
picture comes to mind? Why a pink rabbit of course. The
mind tends to think in pictures. And it cannot process a
negative picture. If you state your goal as “I am a non-
smoker”, the mind tends to ignore the “non” and your goal
becomes “I am a smoker”. Clearly not what you intended.
So always state your goal as a positive, i.e. what you want
not what you don’t want.
Present tense – Just like negative images, the

subconscious mind has trouble with future events. It can
deal with the now. If something is to take place in the future,
the subconscious mind does not have to work on it now.
Therefore you need to set your goals in the present tense.
Now it is obvious that some goals will not be accomplished
today, but you still express them in the present tense. For
example, say you want to double your earnings in one year.
Your goal should not be to double your earnings, since that

is not a specific amount. You know what you are earning
now. For purposes of illustration, let’s say you are earning
$50,000 per year. Then the proper way to state your goal is
to say, “I earn $100,000 per year by December 200X. Note
that the goal is personal, positive and stated in the present
tense.
We will work on the specific steps to accomplish your goals

in another section. However, there is one more point to
make about your goals. If you are like most people, you
have a “junk drawer” somewhere in your house, usually the
kitchen. This is the drawer where you put the miscellaneous
things that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t have
a specific place for filing. As more things get stuffed in the
drawer, it becomes impossible to find what you want. We
lose track of what we have filed in the junk drawer. Ever so
often we have to clean it out by throwing most of the things
away.
Well in some respects your mind is like the junk drawer. We

store so many thoughts and ideas in our minds and with
each new thought or new idea, the old ones get pushed
toward the back of our minds. After a few days or weeks,
you tend to forget those ideas that were so promising only a
few weeks prior. Which brings up the need to constantly
keep your goals in the forefront of your lives. If you allow
your goals to settle to the back of your mind, you will forget
about them.
There is a law in psychology called the law of diminishing

intent. The basic premise of this law is the longer the time
between your intent and your action, the level of the intent
diminishes. If enough time passes the intent fades
completely. Therefore, as soon as you set a goal or have an
idea, you must begin to take action on that goal or idea.

Otherwise your enthusiasm for that goal or idea fades into
the background.
A simple way to keep your goals a current part of your life is

to write your goals on a 3 x 5 card and read them at least
twice a day. You can also write them out daily. Anything that
will keep your mind focused on your goal will assist in the
achievement of your goals.
SMART Goals
As you are listing your goals, you need to make sure that
your goals are SMART goals. The following is a definition of
SMART goals.
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Time
Specific
For a goal to be specific, you need to very clear about what

you want. What are you going to do? Why is this goal
important to you? How are you going to do it? When are
you going to do it?
We will work more on an action plan for achieving your

goals. You may not currently have any idea about how you
will achieve your goal. That is okay. Just make sure your
goals are very specific. A vague goal produces vague
results.

Measurable
What gets measured gets managed.

Peter Drucker
You will need to determine some milestones for your goals.

If your goal was to lose 15 pounds in six months, you would
not wait for five months to check your progress. You would
break down your goal into pounds per month and then you
would measure your progress. You must know if you are
progressing adequately toward your goal. Only by
measuring your progress will you be in a position to make
adjustment to your actions to ensure you achieve your goals
by the target date.
Attainable
Saying a goal should be attainable does not mean it should

be easy. On the other hand, there is no point in setting a
goal that is physically impossible to reach. Most properly set
goals are reachable. Far too many people set unrealistic
time frames for achieving their goals. For example, if you
have been earning $50,000 per year, setting a goal to earn
$1,000,000 next year is probably not attainable or realistic.
Not that you can never achieve that goal, but you must set a
more realistic time frame.
Realistic
This is a close cousin to attainable. Realistic means given

your present situation, you are not striving for something
totally out of reach. You may also be seeking to accomplish

the goal within an unrealistic time frame. Your goal might be
obtainable, but you might need to have a more realistic time
frame.
Time
All goals must have a target time frame for achieving the
goal. A deadline spurs you to action. You must set a
realistic deadline and take the necessary action to achieve
your goal. Without a deadline, there is no commitment. The
time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.

To-do exercise
Take some time to decide on your goals. Write them out on

the attached worksheets and then put them in order of
importance. We will work on developing a step by step
method of achieving them.
Relationship Goals
Short-term goals:
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Work / Career Goals
Short-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
________
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Physical Health Goals
Short-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Emotional Health Goals
Short-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Financial Goals
Short-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Spiritual Goals
Short-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______
Long-term goals:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_______

Taking Action
I have known plenty of people who were great at setting

goals but not very good at achieving them. There was only
one thing missing. That was consistent action. There are
lots of people who will get started. Some even start with a
bang. While you can never finish unless you start, finishing
is the goal. And the only way to finish is to take constant,
consistent action.
Before we go deeper into the specifics of taking action, we

need to spend a little time on some things that will help you
in the process of taking action.
Living in the present moment
If I were to ask you how much time you spend in the past or
spend in the future, you would probably give me a bit of a
puzzled look. You might think to yourself that you don’t
spend any time in the past and you certainly can’t travel to
the future.
But the simple truth is that most people do not live their lives
in the present moment. We spend far too much time in the
past. How do we spend time in the past? We are constantly
replaying past events, trying in our mind to change the
outcome. We play past events over and over, trying out

different endings. We imagine things we should have said or
done and how that would make things different.
It does not matter how many time we replay things in our

mind, we cannot change what has happened. The past is
history. We can’t change it. While we are trying to reshape
things that have happened, we are letting go of the only
thing we really do control, that is the present moment. If our
minds are tied up in the past, we are not fully present in the
current moment.
What is the answer? Accept the past. Realize that no

matter how good or how bad some past event was, nothing
you do will change the outcome.
We get very attached to memories and refuse to let go. We

can suppress our feelings about some past event or we can
express our feelings. Expressing usually shows up in some
emotional outlet – anger, tears, resentment. Suppressing
feelings about the past usually shows up in elevated stress
levels. Neither suppressing nor expressing is totally healthy.
Instead you should learn to release the feelings. Understand
that you are not your feelings. You created the feelings and
you can release them.
We often spend a lot of time in the future. Trying to live out

the future before it arrives. There is a difference between
planning and trying to live the future before it arrives. We
need to plan. However we must not become too attached to
the plan. General Dwight Eisenhower, the commander of
the Allied troops in Europe during World War II said this
about planning, “In preparing for battle I have always found
that plans were useless but planning is indispensable.” Now
what he meant might not be obvious. But consider this.
When the actual battle started, many things happened that
the generals had not expected – and the plan no matter how

carefully drawn out – was soon abandoned. But the process
of planning made them question everything. They tried to
prepare for all contingencies. So the process was valuable.
But if they had tried to stick to the plan, no matter what the
enemy, the weather and other unexpected happenings, they
surely would have been in serious trouble.
We often try to shape how the future will unfold for us. We
get caught up in playing out how future events will play out.
While we certainly need to prepare for the future, we do not
need to spend time trying to predict the future. We have no
control over others or outside circumstances. We only have
control over our reaction to events as they happen. Spend
your time learning and growing. You will be better prepared
for the future.
Housecleaning
As you set out to achieve your goals, there are some

housecleaning activities that can speed your progress.
These are very simple but important things you can do that
will simplify your life. The less clutter and confusion you
have in your life, the easier it will be for you to focus your
energy on achieving your goals.
The first step in housecleaning is to look around at all the

clutter in your life. If you are like most people, you have lots
of clutter in your life. It may be your desk, your schedule or
your mind. You need to eliminate some things in your life.
Take a good look at all the things you are doing. Are there
some activities that are not really important? Are there some
things that you are doing out of habit? Do you belong to

some clubs or other organizations that take a lot of time and
energy but produce little value in your life?
You will need lots of time and energy to focus on the things
you really want. Take the time now to rid your life of some of
the clutter that is draining your time and energy.
If you are like most people, you have way too many options.
Most of us find it difficult to make choices. Rather than
choose between belonging to organization A or club B, we
choose both. We have too many options. On the one hand
it might seem like a blessing to live in so much abundance
where we can pick and choose. But having too many
options really keeps us from developing a very narrow focus.
If you truly want to achieve your goals, you will need to
narrow your focus.
We also have far too many distractions. We have too many

television programs to choose from and spend too much
time being distracted by TV programs. We let friends
distract us. We let celebrity news events distract us. We
spend too much time in meetings, social events and in front
of the computer monitor. Again, if you truly want to achieve
your goals, you need to reduce the number of distractions
and the time and energy they consume.
If I asked you what was necessary for failure, how would you
answer? That is an interesting question. I would like you to
think about it for a few minutes. What is necessary for
failure?
To help you, you might think back on some of the bigger

failures in your life. What was the one thing they all had in
common? If you have children or employees, think about
the times that they experienced failure. You are not going to
come up with the answer just off the top of your head. This

will take a bit of thinking. But it is all too common. What is
absolutely necessary for failure?
I am sure that right now you are scratching your head and
wondering what can possibly be common to all failures.
Well the answer will surprise you. But here it is. Excuses.
Just think about it. All the failures I have been associated
with, mine, in a group or with a client … no matter what, the
one thing that all failures had in common was excuses. And
the excuses can run from the bland to the unbelievable. But
in the end, they are still excuses. They often start with
something like, “I thought …” or “I didn’t know … “or “How
was I to know …”. It really does not matter how simple or
elaborate they are, when you strip them down to the bare
essentials, they are still excuses.
It might be helpful to look beyond the excuses and try to

understand what we are attempting to accomplish with the
excuses and what about the excuses contributes to the
failure.
First, the excuse is an attempt to shift the responsibility. If

we can shift the responsibility to someone or something else,
we protect our ego. It is not our fault. So we don’t have to
feel bad. At least in our own mind we have rationalized our
actions. It was not our fault.
And that is exactly why it is a failure. If we do not take

responsibility for our actions, we will not learn from them.
And if we do not learn, it truly was a failure.
Now we all make mistakes. And if you admit to your

mistake, take full responsibility and learn from it, in my
opinion that is not a failure. That is a learning experience.
When you learn, it can not be considered a failure.

But if in trying to protect the ego, we refuse to take
responsibility, we refuse to really learn, that truly is a failure.
So the one thing all failures have in common is excuses. We

are quite creative in inventing excuses and at times actually
give ourselves a pat on the back for coming up with
“acceptable excuses”.
How much better off would each of us be if every time we

made a mistake, we took full responsibility and learned from
our mistakes? Excuses would vanish. And so would
failures. And because we would be learning from our
mistakes, we’d make a lot fewer mistakes.
Next time you begin to offer an excuse, stop and think. Are
you giving up a real learning opportunity to escape short
term embarrassment?
So start right now and eliminate excuses from your life.
Some tools
As you start to work on achieving your goals, there are some

tools that will help you along the way.
The first is expanding your list of contacts. You will rarely

achieve all your goals working by yourself. The more people
you can enlist to help you, the quicker and easier it will be to
achieve your goals.
Don’t start by making new contacts on the same level you

are. If you are looking to grow and looking for folks to help
you grow, you need to find people who are further along the
path to success than you are. Do not be afraid that these
people are too big or too important to help you. Some might

feel that way. But the majority of truly successful people are
willing to help those who are totally dedicated to improving
their lives.
Now do not expect them to baby sit you. But most will be
willing to share some ideas and insights with you. They will
also point you in the right direction and give you some
guidance. But at the first sign that you are not doing the
work, taking responsibility for your own actions and are not
really serious, they will cease offering any help. If you are
going to seek help from successful people, you must honor
their time and advice. Don’t try to fool them or make
excuses for your lack of progress.
But if you find a mentor that will give you a couple of hours
per month, you will have found a gold mine. Treasure it like
one. If you are showing progress, doing what you have
committed to do, it is highly like that the mentor will introduce
you to additional valuable resources.
You need to make a list of all the possible contacts and

connections that might help you along your path. Once you
have this list, find some method to maintain contact. This
could be a bi-monthly or monthly progress report, a short
telephone call every couple of weeks or a periodic email.
The old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind” is true. If you
don’t maintain contact you will lose contact.
And never make the mistake of just calling on connections

when you need something. Always be looking for ways to
help others. While at first some mentors will be willing to
help with little or no thought of return favors, don’t ride the
good horse to death. Find some ways to be of service to
those who are helping you.
One of the things you must do is get good at observing what

successful people do. It should be clear to you that

successful people do not do what the majority of people do.
They don’t act or live like the majority of people. So you
need to find out what they do that is different. If you ask
them, they probably do not realize and could not give you a
good answer. Learn to observe.
Develop the habit of being dependable. When you commit

to something, people should be able to count on you. Now I
know that things come up from time to time making it
impossible for you to do what you had agreed to do. I am
not talking about the exceptions. I am talking about being
dependable in everyday matters. Be on time and be
prepared. Whatever the tools of your business, be sure you
have them with you.
When I first started working as an accountant, I was on a job

with one other new accountant. The other new accountant
went to our manager and asked for a pencil. The manager
opened his briefcase and gave him a pencil. But not before
he delivered a very stern lecture. Even though I had my
basic tools, I did not escape the lecture. He said if you are
going to be doing accounting, you need a pencil. The first
time you ask, that is okay. The next you need to ask for the
basic tools needed to do the job, you are fired. I never forgot
that lesson. Being dependable means being totally
prepared.
Assuming that part of your goal is about financial success,

then you must excel at your chosen profession. You can not
be run of the mill, average person and expect to command
higher than normal compensation. You must become an
expert in your chosen line of work. This means that you do
not settle for the minimum educational and training
requirements. You must engage in a process of constant
learning and improvement.

If your plan is to make above average income, then you will
need to be an above average person in your field. This is
not as hard as you might think. But it will not happen by
magic. The only way I know is to take a systematic
approach. That is, spend about half hour to one hour per
day in concentrated study aimed to improve your skills in
your field. This can be reading books, listening to CDs,
watching DVDs and attending seminars and workshops. At
first you will simply be absorbing information. That is good
but you will not get out in front by just reading, listening and
attending meetings. You will need to become a teacher.
You must learn to share your knowledge with others. By
sharing your knowledge, you will become the person people
turn to when they need your knowledge and experience.
Your level of Desire
Soon you will be starting to take action towards achieving

your goals. One of the keys to achieving your goals is to be
fully committed.
Unless we fully give ourselves over to our endeavors,

we are hollow, superficial people and we never
develop our natural gifts. A half-hearted spirit has no
power. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes.
Epictetus
If you expect to achieve extraordinary success, you must be

fully committed to your success. Going at your goals in a

half-hearted effort will never give you what you are seeking.
You have to go “all in”. You must make a strong
commitment to your goals. If you are not willing to fully
commit, you would be better off giving up now.
A lot of people will start strong and then when they meet the
least bit of resistance, they fold their tent and go home.
Here is where the strength of your commitment really shows.
You can absolutely count on some bumps in the road and
some setbacks. If it were a cake walk, everyone would be
successful. That does not mean it is impossible. It does
mean that when you meet resistance, when you feel like
quitting, you will need some extra reserves to push you
through the resistance. Your commitment must be strong.
Nothing in the world can take the place of

persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common
that unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not,
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education
will not; the world if full of educated failure.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Calvin Coolidge
If you have the commitment, you will have no trouble with

this last point. That is, develop the habit of “Do It Now”.
Some people have used the mantra of TNT – Today Not
Tomorrow. You must develop a bias for action. If you put
things off, you will lose the enthusiasm for doing them.
Other things will come up and you will slip behind. And as
soon as you get behind on your goals schedule it is all too
easy to become overwhelmed. You can look at your goals
and get a feeling of helplessness. Here is where the “ounce
of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Don’t let yourself
get behind. Do not let things stack up on you. You can stay
ahead of the game by taking action each and every day.

It is like the old question, “How do you eat an elephant?”
“One bite at a time.” If you take small actions each day,
before you know it you will be realizing your goals. If you try
to do it all at once, you’ll never be able to choke it down.
One last thought about your goals
If you are like most people, you have a lot of material items
on your goals list. It might be a newer, more expensive
automobile, a bigger house, a county or beach home. You
probably have also listed a certain amount of liquid assets
(cash and securities) which is intended to provide a certain
degree of security.
There is nothing wrong with those goals. But it probably

would be helpful to examine your reasons for wanting those
goals. There is no point in setting goals, working hard to
achieve them and the finding out that they really did not
bring the satisfaction you had hoped and expected.
In western society, consumerism is rampant. We buy much

more than we need or can properly use. We horde things.
We buy expensive gadgets with the expectation that they will
bring us a certain degree of happiness. We have come to
believe that we will achieve happiness when we get a certain
amount of money in the bank, have a certain size house in
the proper area of town, are able to send our children to the
proper schools and colleges. In short, we have been sold
the idea that happiness comes with achieving a certain level
of financial success. Now every high school student will
write in their essays that happiness does not come with
acquiring things, happiness can only be found within. Even
some adults will say they firmly believe that. But our actions
and our words are not in harmony. We say one thing and do
another.

We think we need the smallest new cell phone on the
market. We also know we need the largest screen HDTV
that is made. We want an automobile that says we have
made it. Why do we feel the need for all these latest and
greatest gadgets? It is because of our ego. If we don’t have
the latest and greatest, then we somehow feel inferior. Our
ego is very fragile. It drives us to protect its feelings. And
the acquisition of things soothes the ego on a short-term
temporary basis. The new always wears off.
And what happens when the new wears off? We need

something else newer, bigger and better.
So here is a very important lesson that you really need to

understand. When you start to feed the ego, you are
engaging in a game that you cannot win. It is like a drug
addict. You get high, crash and then you need something
bigger to get you high again. Same as with drugs. If you
engage in the pursuit of material things for the satisfaction of
the ego, you will be on a circular chase that is never ending.
The more you get, the more you will want.
Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you forgo all

material possessions. I am strongly suggesting that you
understand that material possessions should not, cannot be
your motivational force.
What is the answer? You really must find your purpose in

life. Find something where you are contributing more to life.
Make sure that what you are doing is doing something for
the betterment of mankind and the world. You really need to
make certain that your contribution to the world is equal or
greater than what you are taking from the world.

I truly believe that you have the right to live in total comfort.
If you choose to drive a luxury automobile, then so long as
you are providing service to the world, you have every right
to drive a luxury automobile. But if you think that once you
get that high priced car you will have found happiness, you
are going to experience a real letdown.
All I am suggesting is that you be well aware of what you

want and why you want it. Happiness truly does come from
within. Happiness comes from ruling your ego – not from
trying to satisfy it. You will never satisfy it. The ego can
never be satisfied. If you understand and accept that, then
you will be on the right road to achieving your goals and
finding happiness.
Action plan
If you have followed the instructions to this point, you should

have a very good set of goals with a specific date for
accomplishing those goals. Now you need to devise a plan
to achieve those goals.
Go to your revised list of goals and select one goal. It is

better if you pick one that is high on your list. You will need
lots of energy to see you through to the end, so I want you to
pick a goal that will really mean something to you when you
achieve it.
Here is where you will separate yourself from all the goal
setters and become a goal achiever. You will need to make
a list of all the things you will need to achieve your goal. List

the skills you must acquire, the information you must obtain,
any funds you will need. In short list everything you can
think of that you might need to achieve your goal.
Then begin to make a list of possible sources of obtaining

those items you will need to achieve your goal. If you don’t
have any idea where you will get some resource it is okay.
Don’t fret over how or where you will get what you need.
Just become very clear about those things that you really
need to achieve your goal. The mind is a very complex and
marvelous resource. Once you really get clear about what
you need, the mind begins to devise means of getting what
you need. You might say the mind loves a challenge. So
long as you are clear about a direction. For the mind to
really perform, you must have focus. And unless you are
totally clear, the mind will not be able to focus.
The next step is to lay out a plan or road map to achieve

your goals. As mentioned earlier, one of the characteristics
of a goal should be to stretch your abilities. To be more, you
must do more than you have previously done. You must
move out of your comfort zone. But you will not achieve
stretch goals in one giant leap. Achieving any goal should
be a step by step process. There is no point in trying to work
miracles. Just do something each day that moves you
toward your goals and before long you will look back from
where you started and be amazed at the progress you have
made.
Let’s recap the steps we have taken. The first thing you
need to do is to make a list of resources you need to
complete your goal. Then take an inventory of the skills and
tools you already possess. Next make a list of possible
sources for the resources you do not currently possess. The
best way to obtain these resources is to ask. Ask your

friends, your fellow employees and anyone else you can
think of.
If you ask in the proper manner, you will be amazed at the

number of people who will be willing to help you. You must
remember that “as you sow, so shall you reap.” Do not ask
without being prepared to give something in return. Far too
many people ask without being prepared to also be a giver.
And they wonder why they never get what they ask for. The
world can be a very giving place, if you are also a giver. But
if you are just a taker, then you will not find people anxious
to help.
You also must prepare a detail step by step plan for

achieving your goals. If your goal is to become financially
independent, you will need to start with a product or service
that you are going to provide. The first step in that process
is to make sure the world wants or needs the product or
service that you intend to deliver. Just because you are in
love with your product or service does not mean that
everyone else feels the same about it. Make sure there is a
need for the product or service before you proceed to spend
lots of money developing it.
Then you must develop the product or service. Here is

where a lot of people go wrong. You will do much better
working with a team than being a lone ranger. Most people
think they must do everything themselves. They make lots
of mistakes, they take much longer and in the end the
product or service is not as good as it could have been. The
lesson here is “two heads are much better than one.” You
cannot be an expert in all things. There are some things that
others will be able to do better than you. Don’t let your ego
get in the way of your success.
Our chief want in life is somebody who

shall make us do what we can.
Ralph Waldo Emerson.

There is one reason that most people do not achieve their
goals. They do not have anyone to account to. As Benjamin
Franklin said, “It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to
deceive himself.” We can make excuses about why we did
not do what we were supposed to do. And we will accept
our own excuses or justification. Emerson understood this
very well when he wrote the words, “Our chief want in life is
somebody who shall make us do what we can.” You need
someone to hold you accountable. You need someone to
hold your feet to the fire. You might think that you have the
self-discipline that you need. But you will never accomplish
as much by yourself and you can with an accountability
partner. This can be a coach/mentor or a friend. Just make
sure that you pick one that will really hold you accountable.
Most people will not do this simple step. Why? Most people
really do not want to be held accountable. They want the
luxury of being able to let their schedule slip. They want to
be able to do things that are not taking them towards their
goals without having to account for it. This simple step,
getting an accountability partner, will do more to help you
achieve your goals than anything else I can recommend. It
works.
For an accountability partner to work, you will need to be

totally honest. If you select a friend, make sure the friend
understands the importance of holding you accountable.
While a friend might seem like the easy route to take, often
the friend does not have the courage to really tell you like it
is. Often they will accept your excuses and let you off the
hook. That is not accountability.
Once you have developed your product or service, the most

important step is to market it. Again, do not rely solely on
your own experience. Seek out the help of others. You can
have an excellent product or service, but without effective

marketing, it will remain your product or service. You must
be able to convince other people to buy your product or
service.
Now that you have developed a detail plan of action, you

must take action each and every day. Realize this, every
thing you do, each and every day either moves you toward
your goals or takes you in the opposite direction. Learn to
examine your actions. Are they taking you toward your
goals? If not, then they must be taking you away from your
goals.
Most people do some things that take them toward their

goals but they also do a number of things that take them
away from their goals. What happens? It is very simple.
You are being pulled in two different directions. And the end
result is you are not making sufficient progress toward your
goals. It like a football team that makes a great play that
gains 8 yards and on the next play gets penalized or set
back 10 yards. The positive action was more than offset by
the negative action. Learn about your negative actions and
eliminate them from your life.
Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. Make

sure you are constantly on the right path and that you are
constantly moving forward.
With your detail plan for achieving your goals, you should
have measurable milestones. Each time you reach a
milestone, mark it on your goal worksheet. Also you should
celebrate your small victories. By acknowledging your
progress, you give yourself the necessary energy to keep
pushing forward.

Overcoming fear
Fear is probably responsible for keeping more people stuck
in their present circumstances than lack of knowledge or lack
of money. There is lots of talk about fear but few people
really take the time to understand what fear really in, how
much influence it has on our lives and how you can
overcome the fear.
In some respects, you can think of fear a lot like you think of
love. Everyone talks about it, but very few people can really
explain what it is, how it affects our lives and what we can do
about it.
Fear comes in different shapes and sizes. Most of us think

of fear as some outside event that causes all our vital signs
to go off the charts. That is simply one aspect of fear. There
is no question if we happen to get caught in the crossfire of a

shoot-out between some rival drug dealers, we would
experience that sort of fear. But that type of fear is usually
short lived. The circumstances that cause that type of fear
normally do not last long. And once the threat is removed,
we no longer experience that time of fear.
But that is not the most damaging type of fear. It is the fear
of failure and the fear of success that really keep us trapped
in what is all too often called our comfort zone. I have a lot
of trouble with the term comfort zone. Very few people are
truly comfortable. I think the term really means that we
would rather deal with the devil we have than deal with the
devil that we might get if we did something to change our
circumstances. Changing our circumstances involves
dealing with the unknown. And for most of us, that involves
a certain amount of fear.
We need to understand that fear is perfectly normal. It is the

body’s built in self-preservation method. This is some build
in instinct that we have possessed for ages. But is
something is unknown, the ego senses fear. Our ego is
determined to save us at all cost. So if some activity is new,
it will by definition involve some unknown, then the ego goes
into the fight or flight mode. Since modern society does not
favor either option, we are left with no alternate way to deal
with the fight or flight emotions. The body has no internal
way to deal with this type of fear. We can’t run and there is
no enemy to fight.
This fear that we can’t see and have no effective method to

fight does two things. One it raises our stress levels and
since the only way we can imagine getting away from the
fear is to stay away from the unknown, we stay stuck.
Stress levels

Our increased stress level is responsible for the vast majority
of medical problems in the United States. We all have this
vague notion of stress but most of us do not understand
what really causes the stress and how our bodies respond to
it.
We need to go back a few thousand years to the days of the

cave man to get a basic understanding of what is going on
with stress in our everyday life. When the caveman
encountered the unknown, he had two choices – he could
stand and fight or he could run for his life. He would
evaluate the potential danger of the situation and make the
decision to fight or flee. In either case, the body needed a
surge of energy. If he was going to fight, he needed energy.
If he was going to run, he needed the burst of energy to
propel him away from the danger. So as soon as he sensed
some sort of danger, the adrenaline gland would release a
burst of energy. When this happened, the immune system
would shut down. All the body’s energy was turned to
immediate survival. There was no need for the long-term
immunity system to be using up precious body resources.
After all, if it did not survive the immediate threat, there
would be no need for the long-term immunity system.
Today, most of the encounters with the unknown are not life
threatening. But our body reacts the same way. The
adrenaline gland produces energy boosting secretions and
the immune system shuts down. But for most encounters
we cannot physically fight or run. Most of the encounters
today are not threats of physical harm. The threats are to
our ego.
When someone cuts in front of us on the freeway, most

times we are not in danger of an accident, but we have this
surge of anger because we believe that the offending driver
violated our rights. We can feel our pulse rate soar as our

heart pumps faster. Except for our typical hand salute and a
few choice words that are only heard by us and any
occupants of our car, we are generally helpless.
A similar situation occurs when we are on the phone trying to

resolve a dispute concerning a purchase we made or a
charge to our account. The person on the other end of the
line will not listen to our problem. We become frustrated and
angry. But our options for immediate redress are very
limited. Again, the adrenaline system starts to work but it is
all for naught. There is no one to physically fight and there is
no place to run. The problems in today’s society are
different. Yet our bodies are still reacting to the flight or fight
design that has been outdated for centuries.
Our typical day is filled with other situations like the above
two examples. If could be a co-worker saying something
about what we did, the way we are dressed or some other
negative comment about us. We could be on the receiving
end of a complaint or unreasonable request from our boss.
The truth is our lives are filled with stressful situations –
situations that are not going the way we want them to do.
We have our idea of how the world should work. And when
things happen that do not conform to our ideal world, we
become stressed. Actually it is even worse than that. We
begin to imagine things happening that are not in
accordance with our ideal world and we get stressed out.
Now when we start to imagine things that could happen that
is just another way to describe fear.
Fear is sharp sighted and can see things

underground and much more in the skies.
Miguel Cervantes

When we start projecting things that might happen, generally
we are anticipating the worst. We let our imaginations run
wild. The can be a self-fulfilling exercise. We can fear
something and then get stuck in a no action mode. Failing to
take action is at times carries more risk than taking action.
Fear of failure
Our fear of failure often prevents us from even trying to

achieve a goal. To some extent we can probably trace part
of this fear back to our parents. In an effort to protect us and
keep us safe, they were ever vigilant about telling us of the
dangers inherent in trying new things. “Don’t climb that tree,
you will fall and break a leg.” “Don’t talk to strangers; you
never know what might happen.” And of course the list goes
on and on. All of these things that we heard as children
hundreds of times were meant to keep us safe. But by
constantly repeating these and other similar phrases, they
drummed caution into our heads.
Now of course it did not stop with our parents. When we

went off to school there was this unspoken directive – fit in.
Don’t make waves. Do not stand out from the crowd. If you
are “different” you will attract attention – and it will not be
good.
There have been studies that showed that 95% of the

children in the first grade tested highly creative. But testing
the same children when they were in the 12th grade, only 5%
tested creative. We were taught to fit in. We became afraid
to express ourselves. We went to great efforts to lose
ourselves in the crowd.

But we know if we are going to design an extra-ordinary life,
we cannot be part of the crowd. We must stand out. We
must be our own unique person. But because of years of
conditioning, we are afraid to stand out. We want to blend
in.
So how do we over come fear? The first thing you need to

understand that fear is an emotion. Yet we have been
taught to rely on our information and knowledge. In short we
have been conditioned to be a logical, thinking person. But
logic will never be more powerful than emotion.
Let me relate a little story that will illustrate this concept.
Our daughter had gone to a private school from Pre-K

through the sixth grade, which was the highest grade the
school offered. So for the seventh grade, she had to start at
a new school. The school we picked out was much larger
and across town. Everything was new and she would not
know anyone there.
As I was driving her to class on that first day, she was not
her usual bubbly self. She was very quiet. As we
approached the school she said, “You are not going to just
drop me off are you?”
It really was not a question. It was a demand. She wanted

some support.
So I parked the car, took her by the hand and we

approached a group of students that appeared to be about
her age. I asked if anyone was going to be in the seventh
grade. I explained that my daughter was new there and
needed someone to show her around. After the second try,
one bouncy young girl stepped forward and introduced
herself. She became a guide for my daughter for the day.

What are the lessons from this incident? More than you
might think. First you must understand that my daughter
was frightened with the prospect of going to a school where
everything was totally new. What difference do you think it
would have made for me to explain for hours on end that
there would be plenty of other new students in the same
situation? I can tell you it would have made no difference.
Fear is an emotion. Logic or reasoning really will not
overcome fear.
Emotions always overrule logic. When you are dealing with

someone in a situation where they are experiencing fear,
trying to overcome the fear with rational reasoning is
useless. It will not work.
I solved the problem by finding a buddy that she could

connect with. Her new little friend gave her the emotional
support she needed.
Identify fear
Even though fear is an emotional response, it is sometimes

helpful to dig deeper and try to expose our fears for what
they are. If we can bring the unknown to the known, then
the fear goes away.
Again, let me illustrate with a little story. This actually

happened to me when I was about six years old. We lived in
a rent house in a rural area. Now this might be difficult for
you to believe, but we did not have electric lights in that
particular house. We only had kerosene lanterns. Well
there was a chair in my bedroom and rather than hang my
clothes on a rack, I had opened my shirt and hung it over the
back of the chair. It was like the chair was wearing the shirt.
The pants were laid down on the seat of the chair and

draped down toward the floor. Well I awoke in the early
morning hours and when I looked in the direction of the
chair, it looked like a person was sitting there. Of course I
had forgotten that I had carelessly decorated the chair with
my clothes. In the dim light, I was imagining all sorts of
sinister things that a burglar could be doing sitting there in
the chair.
Well as morning broke and the light improved, I begin to see

that my fears were baseless. It was only my clothes. Now
let me tell you, my fear was real. If I had thought rationally, I
might have concluded that any self-respecting burglar would
never break into a house such as ours. There was nothing
of value to steal. But that is one of the problems with fear.
When we are in the grips of fear, rational thinking never
enters into the picture.
So if you are fearful about taking action and you can
rationally dig deeper concerning your fear, you will probably
find that your fears are actually baseless. But asking
someone who is experiencing fear to examine the fear
rationally is a tall order. I am not saying you should not try.
In fact I really urge you to try to examine your fears. I just
know for some people, it will not work.
But here is one exercise that you should do. If you are
reluctant to move ahead on a project or idea, here is one
way to try and overcome the fear. Take a sheet of paper
and draw a line down the middle. On one side, list all the
good that you expect to gain from completion of the project.
On the other side, list all the unpleasant things that might
come about from the failure of the project. Then consider all
the bad things that might happen. Arrange those items from
the least likely to the most likely outcome. This is a method
of evaluating the risk. If the most likely negative outcome is
not that bad and the most likely positive outcome brings you

satisfactory results, this should give you ample reason to
proceed.
This is simply a method of bringing your fears into the light.

Looking at the worst case and the probability that it will or
will not happen will often give you enough comfort to
proceed. Keep in mind that even if the worst case should
actually happen, it is probably not the end of the world. If
you do fall flat on your face but learn from your mistake, you
will be in a stronger position next time you are faced with a
similar situation.
Desire for gain
As we have discussed before, you need a strong emotional

reason to achieve a goal that will move you to where you
want to be. If your emotional reasons for achieving your
stated goals are strong enough, it should overcome the fear.
How do you develop strong emotional reasons for achieving

your goals? This is basically intrinsic motivation. You must
be fully committed to achieving your goals. You need a
strong belief in yourself and your abilities. You need to truly
believe that what you are going after is the right thing for you
to do and to do anything less would be settling for less than
your full potential.
You can enlist the assistance of an accountability partner.

Often we are not able to discipline ourselves. We allow
ourselves to make excuses for our lack of accomplishments,
which we all too readily accept. By having someone that we
respect hold us accountable, we stand a much better chance
of accomplishing our goals. It is much more difficult for us to
fabricate an excuse for our accountability partner than it is
for us to con ourselves.

If you choose to use an accountability partner, and I highly
recommend you do, you must choose one that will not let
you off the hook too easily. It does no good to have
someone who will not really hold you accountable.
At times we set goals that we truly do not believe in or are

not committed to. We are often setting these goals for
someone else. We set them because we feel like we are
supposed to. For example, we might set a goal to have a
million dollars within five years. Now we might not really
have a strong desire to have that much money, we might not
believe that we are capable of having that much or we might
not believe that we deserve to have that much money. If we
are not fully committed to that goal, we will let our fears keep
us from taking the action that must be taken to achieve that
goal. If you are consistently having trouble achieving a goal,
you need to examine your desires concerning that goal. Is it
a goal that you truly want? Why do you want it? What are
the benefits of obtaining that goal? What are the penalties
for not obtaining it? How will your life change with or without
achieving the goal? These are tough questions and are not
to be answered lightly. You need to give them adequate
thought.
If rationally looking at your fears will not dissolve them, then

you need to do your best to make sure that the emotional
reasons for achieving your goals are strong enough to push
you forward through your fears.
One last method
There is one final method I can suggest for overcoming your

fears. This one can best be described as the kaizen way.
The name comes from the Japanese method of quality
control. Now while we think of it as being Japanese, it was
actually exported to Japan by Edward Deming, an American.

The whole concept of the kaizen is to take small but
consistent steps toward your goal.
Generally when we set out to make changes, we undertake

to make massive changes in a short period of time. Change
involves the unknown. The unknown provokes fear.
Therefore when we try to make substantial changes in what
we are doing, the way we act, as a natural reaction to the
changes, we bring about fear. We are probably not even
aware of the fear, but at an emotional level, our ego resists
the changes. Our ego is comfortable with life as it is. It is
uncomfortable with changes and will in fact take action to
make sure the changes do not come about.
But if we attempt the changes using the kaizen method, the

changes will be so small that the ego does not even realize
we are making changes. Changes too small to register on
the fear scale are acceptable to the ego.
Let me give you a specific example. Let’s say you wanted to

go on a diet and lose 10 pounds. Your mind will take that as
a major change and while you might not recognize it as fear,
your mind will work to keep things as they are. But if you
used the kaizen method, instead of jumping on a diet you
would start so small that it would hardly be noticeable. Say
for instance, instead of cutting our candy bars totally, you
might decide to break off the first bite and throw it away.
Something so small that anyone could do it. Self-discipline
would really not be required.
Another example might be starting a self-development, self-

improvement program. Some people make a goal to devote
one or two hours per day to such a program. I totally
endorse such a program. However, that can be a bit
overbearing for some people. And if you start out trying to
devote an hour per day you might carry it out for a week or

two before you totally abandoned the idea. Fear would have
been behind the abandonment. Your mind would have
generated excuses not to continue. But if you employed the
kaizen method, you might start with five minutes per day.
Now anyone should be able to devote five minutes per day
to self-improvement. And if you keep up the five minutes
until it becomes an ingrained habit, it would then be easy to
expand to 10 minutes per day. Gradual small steps would
eventually get you to the hour or two hours per day that
would be your ultimate goal. But you would have done it so
gradually you never would have induced the fear of the
unknown.
To recap, fear is an emotion and rarely will we be able to

rationally overcome our fear by saying there is nothing to be
afraid of. There are three basic methods to overcome fear.
First is to examine the fear. Get it out in the open and see
the reality of what you fear. Often we fear the concept or the
shadow rather than the reality. The more we learn about
what we fear, the less hold it will have on us. So the very
first step in overcoming fear is to understand as much as you
can about what you are fearful of. The more you know the
less that is unknown. It is the unknown that we fear. So the
more we know, the less there is to fear.
The second method is to make sure we are totally

committed. Be sure you have strong emotional drives that
will propel you to our goals. If the emotional drive toward
your goal is stronger than the fear, you will have no trouble
doing what is needed. You may also find emotional support
by using an accountability partner. Just make sure the
accountability partner will truly hold you accountable.
And the last method is the kaizen method. Set the steps so
small that anyone could do them. By taking small but
consistent steps to achieve your goals, you will get there

much faster and if the steps are small enough, there will be
no fear involved.
Time
One of the most often heard phrases today is, “I don’t have
any time.” Of course there are lots of variations of that
phrase. I am too busy. I don’t know where the day went.
And of course – time flies.
If you are going to be successful in life, you must learn to get

the most value out of your day. You must stop letting the
minutes slip away from you. Adopt the motto, “Make each
day count.”
You probably have seen some books or courses on time

management. The truth is we cannot manage time. Time
cannot be saved or compressed. Give up on the idea of
managing time. Accept that you can only manage yourself.
You have some control over how you choose to use your
time. Manage your projects, tasks and your commitments.
We often let the urgent take control of our lives and therefore
put off the really important task until some future time. The
more important things we allocate to some future time
period, the more likely we will become overwhelmed at all
the important things that need to be done. The end result is
none of the important things ever get done. They are always
put off until tomorrow. And unfortunately we allow more and
more things to become urgent.

For most of us a ringing telephone or cell phone is an urgent
matter. It must be answered. And often there is some small
task to be accomplished as a result of the call. It is common
for us to handle these urgent tasks without regard to the
value of the task. Normally we do not stop and gauge the
value of the task; we just put it on top of the list and get it
done. While there is something to be said for getting things
done, if it is at the expense of something that is 5 or 10 times
more important, it is not the best use of your time. You must
learn not to let the urgent take precedence over the
important.
The very best way to make sure that we are handling things
in their order of importance is to plan our time. We need to
decide on our most important tasks and rank those tasks in
order of importance.
There is a story told about a management consultant who

was trying to secure a consulting job for a major steel
manufacturing company. He was pitching the president of
the steel company of the value of his services. As part of his
sales presentation, he told the president that he could show
him how to improve the productivity and profit of the
organization by identifying what needed to be done. The
president reportedly replied, “We know what needs to be
done. We just don’t have the time to do what we know
needs to be done.” As the story goes, the president further
told him that if he could show them a system for doing what
they knew needed to be done, he would gladly pay him any
reasonable sum he requested.
The consultant replied that was a fairly easy task. He asked

the president to take out a pencil and paper. Then to list the
six most important tasks he needed to accomplish tomorrow.
Once he had listed the six items, the consultant asked him to
put those items in their order of importance. He further

instructed the president that when he arrived at work
tomorrow morning he was to work on item number one and
stick with it until it was finished. If he could not finish item
number one because he was waiting on someone else for
more information or action, then put it aside and work on
item number two. But so long as he had all the information,
he was not to stop work on item number one for any reason.
Well the president meet with so much success using this

system, it is reported that the voluntarily sent the consultant
a check for $25,000 for that simple but highly effective
system.
There are a couple of points worthy of mentioning. You will

notice that he limited his to do list to six items. I have seen
people that had 20, 30 and even 50 items on their to do list.
When that happens, there is the tendency to work on the
easy items first to get them off the list. While it is easy to
fool ourselves into thinking we are making progress by
crossing things off our list, we are not working on the most
important things. You need to list your tasks in the order of
importance and spend your time and energy on the most
important things first. If you finish the important tasks and
still have time, you can go to the other tasks that need to be
done. But if you never get to those unimportant tasks, it is
okay. You need to always make sure you are working on
the important tasks.
Be on the lookout for time vampires. Time vampires suck up

your time. The most common time vampires are the
telephone, interruptions by co-workers, emails, television
and other such unimportant activities.
Often we allow the telephone to rule our activities. We think

that we must stop whatever we are doing and give our full
attention to the telephone. A few years ago, it might have

been more important to answer each and every call. That is
simply not the case now. It is much more productive to let
most calls go to voice mail. This forces the caller to leave a
message about the nature of the call and if the call is
important to you, you can gather any information you need to
complete the call. Then return the call on your schedule.
If you work in an office, interruptions from co-workers can

really suck up your time. It is best to have designated time
for scheduled meetings to discuss projects than to be
interrupted ever time a question arises. It is difficult to
estimate the time lost in starting and stopping whatever you
might have been working on. If you have your co-workers
collect all their questions and schedule a fixed time to go
over them, you will save a tremendous amount of time. If
you have more than one person who reports to you or works
on a peer level, getting everyone together for a schedule
meeting ensures that everyone gets the same information
together and reduces the time lost in individual explanations.
Most email is not so important that it needs to be answered

immediately. It is a real time saving technique to check and
answer your email once in the morning and once in the
afternoon. Email can be a real time vampire if you check
your email every hour or so, or worse yet, have it so that you
get notified every time you receive a new email. Most emails
are simply not that important. Don’t fall into the habit of
letting email become a time vampire.
The important lesson concerning time vampires is you must

control your time. If you give up control of your time, you are
giving up control of your life. Do not let other control your
time.
One of the most effective methods of effectively utilizing your

time is to block out time for certain tasks. Let’s say that you

own your own business. As the business owner, one of the
most important tasks you have is marketing. If you block out
one morning and one afternoon each week to concentrate
on marketing and then focus your attention on that task, you
will see remarkable improvements in your marketing efforts.
Most marketing is hit and miss. But by blocking out the time
and not letting anyone or anything interrupt you, you will be
able to accomplish a lot more than normal.
Do not let anything short of a real emergency interrupt your

time blocks. To a large extent, the value of time blocking lies
in not allowing anything encroach on your designated activity
during the allocated time period. I must warn you, at first this
will be a bit of a challenge. You will need to discipline
yourself and train those who work with you. But the rewards
are well worth it.
Multi-tasking is one of the buzz words in our daily life. We

probably are all guilty of attempting to multi-task at some
time during the day. We might be checking out email while
we are on the phone, or even while someone is talking to us.
While in theory, it sounds like making good use of your time,
it is not. There is a saying that I really like – wherever you
are, be there. That simply means give your full attention to
whatever you are doing.
Where ever you are, be there.
There are a few activities where it makes sense to engage in

multi-tasking efforts. One that I highly recommend is to
listen to educational, inspirational, motivational audio
programs while you are driving. If you are doing some
mundane task like folding envelopes you might be able to

listen to audio programs. But anything where you are
interacting with others, focus on the activity at hand.
The term multi-task meant to be able to switch from one

project to another with ease. A lot of people think that it
means trying to do two things at once. The vast majority of
the time you attempt to do two things at once, at best you do
both poorly. Focus all your energies on the task at hand.
You will do a much better job in less time by giving your full
attention to the main task.
If you are attempting to do paperwork, check your email or

other such task while talking on the phone, you are not fully
engaged in the task of attentively listening to the other
person on the phone. Generally the other person will pick up
on your lack of total attention. It does not bode well for
building relationships. If you are truly not interested in what
the other person has to say, tell them in as polite a manner
as possible. If the other person is worth listening to, give
them your full attention.
It is very easy to look around and spot someone dining out,

driving, shopping or engaged in any number of other
activities and on their cell phone. In some cases it is just
poor manners, in some cases it is downright rude and in
most cases it is only partially engaged in two very different
activities. It is not the most effective use of ones time and
attention. It is not the way to save time.
Associates

Your life will be determined to a large part by the people you
choose to associate with. Often we do not make a
conscious choice about the people we associate with. We
tend to associate with the people we meet at work or people
we meet by accident. The people you associate have way
too much influence on your life to leave this to chance. You
need to proactively decide on the people you will associate
with in life.
I have often been asked for advice on how to handle a

negative family member or other relative. Let’s face it; we all
probably have one or two relatives, some closer than others
that we would gladly trade in if only there were an outlet for
them. It can be very difficult to design your life when you are
surrounded by family and relatives who are working to keep
you the way you are.
The first thing you need to remember is you are not going to
change them. It is difficult enough to change yourself. You
have no ability to change another person. So save all your
energy and efforts for yourself. The second thing to
remember is their actions really do not affect you. It is your
reaction to their actions. Learn to accept what they do with
calmness. I am not saying that you must like all or any of
the things the troublesome relative does. But since you
actually have no control over what anyone else does, you
must not let their actions derail yours.
There are some circumstances when you will need to break

away from some family members. If they are doing things
that are detrimental to your well being then you cannot
passively sit by and watch. If they are engaged in self-
destructive behavior and it has the potential to involve you,
then take what ever steps are needed to distance yourself
from the relationship. While you cannot change anyone, it is

foolish to stay in harms way when you know that eventually
their actions will directly affect you.
If your family and relatives are just an annoyance and not a

real impediment, learn to block out their negative comments
and actions. Don’t let them drag you down. Even if you
cannot escape their company, you can escape their
influence. You control how you react to things.
How do you form new more valuable relationships? The first

step is to take a look at what you aspire to become. Then
look for people who have already achieved what you want to
become. These are the people you want to be your
mentors/role models. Find out as much about them as you
can. If you personally know someone that you want to
mentor you, the best thing is to simply give them a call.
Explain that you would like to learn from them and ask if they
are willing to give you some time and guidance on a regular
basis. Most successful people are more than happy to
mentor sincere, dedicated people. While they generally do
not expect direct compensation, you must honor their time
and experience.
Do not ask someone to be your mentor and then disagree

with their guidance. Show up on time for your appointments
and be totally prepared for the session. Always come
prepared to learn. It is helpful if you bring a specific agenda
and stay focused on it.
What should you look for in a relationship? Look for people

who have already achieved what you aspire to become.
These will be your mentors. Also look for people who wan to
be more and achieve more from life. These will be peer type
relationships. You need to be careful to avoid dependency
relationships. You must avoid people who want to make you
dependent on them. At the same time, do not let people

become dependent on you. You want to associate with
people who are independent yet understand and appreciate
the value of working with others.
It works both ways – you need to associate with those who

are where you want to be and those who want to be where
you are. As you move up in life, be quick to support and help
others who are trying to improve themselves. You must be a
giver. There is no better way to help yourself than to help
others. You will be repaid many times over.
When we think of those associates that will have a major

influence on our lives, we generally think of friends and co-
workers. But there is one other category that you should not
overlook. That is paid mentors or coaches. Most people are
not willing to pay the price for mentors or coaches. They
think they are too expensive. Actually this is something that
you are going to need to get over if you truly want to be
highly successful. The right mentor/coach will return many
times the cost of their services. They can help you rapidly
accelerate your success. In addition when you engage the
services of a mentor/coach, normally you will gain access to
many other like minded individuals. The connections you
will gain will often prove much more valuable that the cost of
the services.
One other thing you should do is to look for professionally

sponsored educational workshops, conferences, boot camps
and seminars in your chosen field. I have found on many
occasions that the value of the contacts I make at such
events far exceeds the cost of attending the programs. To
truly gain the maximum value, you must make it a point to
get to know the other people in attendance and then once
you have returned from the program, follow-up with all the
contacts you made. Don’t wait until you need something

from the people you met. Build the relationship and then
when you need some help, it will be there.
Making Money
There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one’s

means of livelihood. Money is like a sixth sense without which
you cannot make a complete use of the other five.
W. Somerset Maugham
It seems like money is on everyone’s mind. Or perhaps it is

more correct to say the lack of money. People are
constantly preoccupied about money or the need for more
money in their lives. Many people make money a very
important part of their lives. They tend to measure success
in terms of money. Yet as important as many people try to
make money, very few people really understand what money
is and how it is earned.
If something is that important, you would think that people

would have a better attitude about money, truly understand
what money is and how to obtain the money the need.
Your attitude about money was probably heavily influenced

by how your parents viewed money. I cannot know what
stories you heard about money when you were a child, but I
can tell you some of the more popular things that most of us
were taught about money in our childhood.
“Money does not grow on trees.”

“Money is the root of all evil. (The Bible verse says, “The
love of money is the root of all evil.”)
“They are filthy rich.” Like somehow having money made

one dirty.
“They have more money than the law allows.” Like

accumulating money above a certain amount must involve
some illegal activity.
“Your father has to work hard for his money.”
If you were to summarize all the attitudes about money that

most of us heard when we were children, it would be as
follows: You have to work really hard for money, which is
scarce. Wanting money is evil. Money is dirty and having
too much probably means you were engaged in some illegal
activity. We were all taught some or all of those lessons. All
giving us a totally incorrect view of money.
So what is money?
First I will say what money is not. It is not dirty. Having a lot
of money does not mean you were involved in anything
illegal. And there is no correlation between hard work and
money. Money is actually not scarce at all. And in fact it
can seemingly grow on trees or out of thin air. I’ll explain
that a little later.
Hard work generally does not guarantee a sufficient amount

of money. Actually the people that work the hardest are
generally at the lower end of the economic scale. The
people working with a shovel or doing other demanding back
breaking work generally are on the lower end of the
economic ladder. The folks in the white shirts that only

break a sweat on the handball or tennis court generally
make multiples of the income of the hardest working class.
Now you may think that you know what money is. You
probably have a few dollars in your purse or wallet and can
easily recognize that as money. But do you really
understand at a deeper level what money is?
If you want to increase your level of money, you must

understand what money is. You cannot design your life to
have all the money you want or need if you do not
understand this concept. Money of course is simply a
medium of exchange. It makes commerce much easier
because then it is not necessary for us to barter our services
for the things we need.
But the money you receive is the value of the services you
render. If you want to make more money, you can do so in
only two ways. Give higher value services or give the same
value services to more people.
Now you may be thinking that explanation is rather simple

and you already knew that. You may know it but do you
apply that knowledge in your life?
Let’s talk about your job. You probably get paid for a certain
amount of time worked – either per hour or per month. But
you are not really getting paid by the hour. You are getting
paid for the value you bring to that hour. It is not your time, it
is the value you bring to the marketplace during and it is
measured in a period of time.
How does the marketplace determine the value of your time?

By the complexity of the job you perform and the amount of
time it takes to train someone to do the job and the number
of people capable of doing that job. So for the workers in the

fast food outlets or the cashier in the local supermarket, their
pay is not that much. It takes less than a day to train them in
the basics of their job and unfortunately there are always a
lot of folks willing to do that job. On the other end of the
scale, you have professional people who spend years in
training and are not easily replaces. Therefore the value
they bring to the marketplace is much greater.
Now if you want to earn more, you must find out how to bring
more value to the market place. You can earn as much as
you wish so long as you are supplying what other people
want or need.
I said I would explain that money does “grow on trees.” Well

it is actually better than growing on trees. Money can be
created out of thin air. If you study most of the wealthy
people, they did not come by their wealth from their own
labor. They got wealthy by implementing their ideas. Of
course the easy examples are writers and artist that create
things of great value using little more that paper and ink or
canvas and paint. But there are software developers that
have created fortunes with their intellectual ideas. And there
are business executives that thought of new ways to do
business that have become extremely wealthy in a few short
years. They have created money from their ideas.
But if you look beyond the idea, you will see that all these
people, the writer, artist and business executive either
brought very high value to a few people or a little value to the
masses of people.
If attaining a more affluent life is part of your design, there is

one question that you must answer. What value can you
bring to the marketplace? What unique talent or service can
you provide to others? Will you concentrate on high value

services to a select few or will you try to expand your
services to the masses. I
What is the value of your goods or services?
This is a real problem for most people. We tend to discount

the value of whatever we offer for sale. Since we are totally
familiar with our products or services, we tend to place a
lower value on them.
In order to increase the value of any product or service, you

need to make the product or service as unique as possible.
The more people think of a product or service as a
commodity – that is basically the same no matter who is
selling it – the more the decision is based solely on price.
The more a product or service is reduced to a commodity,
the more competitive pressure there will be in the market
place.
Let’s take an example of a service that most everyone has

used – the preparation of their tax return. Some people do it
themselves but a large number of people hire a professional
to prepare their tax return. The fees to prepare an identical
tax return can run from a low of around $200 to $1,000 or
even higher. It done correctly, the outcome is the same. But
the fee can be significantly different depending on some
positioning on the part of the company providing the service.
The less selective the firm preparing the return, the less they
are able to charge. Said differently, if they are appealing to
the mass market, in general their prices will be cheaper.
On the other hand, the firms that are highly selective, that
appeal only to a select few or to highly specialized situations
will be able to charge significantly higher fees. And often

times the level of complexity or amount of work involved is
relatively the same.
There is one other thing you should consider. How hard do

you want to work for your money? Let’s consider a couple of
examples. Let’s say you were doing tax returns. Just for
example, let’s say you could do one tax return every two
hours. If you decided you wanted to make an average of
$100 per hour, you would then charge $200 per each return
you prepared. Now consider an alternate situation. Let’s
say you wanted to make $200 per hour. That means that
you would need to charge $400 per each return.
Here is where things get interesting. If you were going with

the higher billing rate, you probably would not get quite as
much business. There might be some price resistance.
Some potential clients might not be willing to pay the higher
price. If you were booked solid, at the lower rate and only
worked 40 hours per week, you would bill out $4,000 per
week. But if you choose the higher billing rate, you might
only attract enough clients to bill out 30 hours per week. But
at the higher billing rate, even working only 30 hours per
week would bring in $6,000 in billings. Even if you only
worked half time you would bring in the same dollar amount.
The point of this example is to show the value of raising your

rates. It is better to work less and make more than you wear
yourself out and still not make any money. And that is what
will happen when you compete on price.
There are very few businesses where you can compete on

price and still make good money. You stand a much better
chance of being highly successful is you will concentrate on
providing higher value products or services and charging
accordingly.

How much can you earn?
The amount of money you can earn will be determined by

the value of the services you provide and the number of
people you reach.
There are two components to making money. The value of

your services and the number of people you can reach.
The number of people you can reach will depend to some

extent on the nature of your product or service. If your
product or service requires face to face interaction, then the
potential number of customers is limited to the population
within a certain radius of your base of operations. On the
other hand, if your product or service can be delivered
digitally or over the phone, you have a much higher potential
market.
Just because you have the potential for a huge market does
not necessarily mean that is the ideal market for you.
However, limiting yourself to a certain geographical area can
have some serious limitations on the potential size, growth
and profitability of your business. You need to be aware of
the number of potential consumers of your product or
services. And to a large extent that is determined by the
distribution channels available to you.
How do you decide on a product or service?
One of the worst mistakes you can make is to develop a

product or service that you are in love with only to find there
are not enough people who share your views.

You will need to do some market research before you spend
a lot of time, energy and money on developing a product that
there is insufficient demand for. Beware of asking your
friends and relatives about the merits of your idea. You are
probably the worst judge of the merits. Your friends and
relatives are a close second. Even paid focus groups can
and often miss the mark when it comes to evaluating market
demand. The people in focus groups are like most humans.
Even though they are trying to be open and honest, they
have a built in inclination to tell you what you want to hear.
The only true indicator is to do market test when it requires a
potential consumer to plunk down some money.
I have seen businesses reluctant to spend $50,000 on

market research on a $50,000,000 project because they
“knew” the market. They were not willing to ensure their bet
by spending the $50,000. And eventually they lost
considerably more because the market was not ready for the
product.
Market research is the least expensive and perhaps the

most important part of any project or business decision.
Make sure you have a good market for your product before
you build a business that the market will not support.
Value position
If you are going to segregate yourself/business from the

crowd, you will need to develop some unique product or
service. It order to appeal to your market, you need to have
position your product or service as something special.
You must develop some unique approach. Specialize.
Become an expert in your field. You can be the best
carpenter, painter or brain surgeon. You can decide on the
value of your services, but ultimately the market place will
decide what your goods or services are worth. But the more

unique, the less the market will be able to compare you to
someone down the street. No one will be offering exactly
the same product or service you are offering. Only by
offering something different will you be able to charge
premium prices for your products or services. And if you
want to achieve a high degree of financial success, you will
need to charge premium prices for your services.
What is the most important skill in business?
Emerson once said, “Build a better mousetrap and the world

will beat a path to your door.” Now Emerson was one of
America’s brightest thinkers and writers. But that one he got
completely wrong. I would alter it to read like this, “Build a
better mousetrap but without effective marketing mice will
multiply.”
It does not matter how good your product or service, without

effective marketing – you will have lots of product gathering
dust and idle time on your hands.
Skills or proficiency does not determine demand for your

product of service. The market cannot buy what it does not
know about or value. You must become an expert at
marketing. Not only must you be proficient in attracting
customers to your product or service, you must be able to
clearly establish the value of what you are offering.
Some products or services have some clear upper limits on

the value of the product or service. For example a typical
book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble might go for $15 – 25.
But if your book product clearly has value beyond what is
typical, you will need to establish that. How do you establish
value? You don’t focus on the product, you focus on the
results the user will derive from the product.

For example, if your book taught a person how to start and
run a business that would easily make them $75,000 per
year and the information was unique, special and not
available else where, what would the value of that book be?
Well to a brain surgeon, not much. But to a struggling single
mom, if it could fulfill its value proposition, it would surely be
worth a few hundred dollars. Again, you need to get away
from the focus on the product and get the potential user to
focus on the results to them.
This is only one small aspect of marketing. You will need to

learn all the steps in marketing a product or service. You
need to identify your target market. I have met with
businessmen who said their product would appeal to
everyone. If you cannot identify a highly targeted market,
you do not have a market. It is much too expensive for a
small company to market a mass market product. You need
to have a narrow market that you can segment and identify.
Only in this way can you afford to market to them. The
better you can target the potential market, the easier and
cheaper it is to direct your marketing campaign.
Once you have narrowed down your target market, you need
to develop your USP – unique selling proposition. This is
your message to your market. It tells your market the
benefits of your product or service. Too many people get
hung up on telling all the features of the product or service.
The market really does not care about the features. The
potential user is interested in one thing – what’s in it for me –
this is often shown as an acronym WIIFM.
The first step in becoming a good marketer is to get away

from the position of trying to sell your product and step into
the potential buyer’s position. Look at the proposition from
the buyer’s point of view. What need or problem will your
product solve for the buyer?

You should not approach the marketing as a one shot deal.
Buyer’s today are not that willing to part with their money.
You will need to take a longer term approach to the
marketing process. You will need to build a relationship with
the potential buyers. This takes time. With each contact you
have with the potential buyer, you have the opportunity to
build trust.
Today a lot of marketing is call permission marketing. We

identify and reach out to a target market. Our marketing
process ask those who are interested to raise their hands
and ask for a special report, a free sample or some other
sort of legitimate bribe which in turn gives the marketer
permission to contact them in the future. Then the marketing
system begins an automated series of spaced contacts
designed to build a relationship and eventually convert the
person to a paying customer.
While this is far short of a complete course on marketing, it is

important to cover the highlights here. There are a couple of
other things you should know. Today’s consumers are
highly skeptical. Most have been sold some snake oil and
once burnt, twice shy. So you are going to need to supply
some social proof that your product produces the results you
claim. Again, the social proof should not be in glowing terms
of how nice a person you are or how easy it is to do
business with you. Remember the potential buyer does not
really care how polite you are. All they really care about is
will the product or service provide the benefits you claim.
One other thing on your marketing message – you need to

make a bold promise. If your product or service is just
average, then you are going to have a difficult time
appealing to the consumers. Your product or service needs
to really fulfill a need in a big way. You need a bold promise.

Now you certainly should not make a promise that your
product or service cannot live up to. But unless you really
have faith in your product and boldly proclaim the benefits,
you are going to get a ho-hum reaction from the market
place. That means no takers.
You should understand that it is about ten times harder to

sell prevention than it is to sell a cure. People are not willing
to spend today on a benefit too far in the future. They are
looking to spend their money on something that gives very
short term benefits. So when selecting your product, be
careful that you are not selecting something that has long
term benefits but requires short term sacrifice.
Life time value of a customer
Most business people think the purpose of the first sale is to

make a profit. Dan Kennedy preaches that the purpose of
the first sale is to get a customer.
If you build your business model so that you are trying to

make a profit on the first and every sale, you are going to
limit the amount of funds available for marketing. Therefore
you will be able to attract fewer customers. Hence you will
limit the size of the business.
If you understand the life time value of a customer and

realize that it is a much more profitable business model to
spend more money on the front end and develop more
customers your business will grow faster, bigger and
ultimately more profitable.
If you are like most marketers and squeeze all you can out of
the first sale, it may be the only sale you will make to that
customer. But if you learn to over deliver, to spend the
money getting the customer and making sure that customer

gets a great value proposition, then you will have a much
higher repeat business.
Now you might say if you lose money on the first sale, how
do you ever make it back? Well once you have a satisfied
customer, you will find it much easier to sell to them again
and again. And your marketing cost will be much lower.
Most of the money you spend on the marketing on the front
end will not need to be spent on the second and subsequent
sale. Therefore the profit margins will be much higher.
So the life time value of a customer is what they are likely to

buy from you over their life as a customer. You will also
need to factor in the value of the referrals a satisfied
customer will make. If you have a one time sale, it is highly
unlikely they will be a huge source of referrals. But if you
have a satisfied customer that is continually buying from you,
it is very likely that they will refer their friends and associates
to you. And certainly since a part of your marketing
campaign will ask (or bribe) them to.
You need to learn to look at a potential customer as the most

valuable asset your business can acquire. A lot of
businesses profess that their employees is their most
valuable asset. But a strong customer base that believes in
you and the value of your products is absolutely the biggest
asset your company will ever develop.
Develop customers for life
Since we just learned that our customer base if the most

valuable asset your business will ever develop, you need to
treat them with respect. Once you have developed the
customers trust, it is extremely easy to abuse that trust by
selling them some product or service that is overpriced or
misrepresented. You must jealously guard your position with

your customer base. Do not get taken in by the lure of short
term profits. It is very difficult to develop customers. You
can lose them in a heartbeat. If you ever think of asking
yourself if some promotion might lose a customer, it will. It is
not worth the risk.
Who is on your team?
If you could get an inside glimpse of a highly successful

person’s business, you would find that the success is not
really a one man (or woman) show. There are always plenty
of people helping out.
If you wish to be successful you need to develop a team. It

is not necessary that all or for that matter any of the team
members be employees. It is actually much better to hire
highly qualified talent on an as needed basis and hire for the
specific skills needed at that time. You should develop a
million dollar rolodex of go to people that you can count on
the provide whatever help you need.
If you don’t have a team of people that are smarter and
possess skills that you don’t possess, then you better start
getting a new team. Too many people fill their team with
people that have the same mindset and skills as they do.
And they wonder why they do not achieve spectacular
success. You will never be more successful than quality of
your team. Make it a point to build a highly qualified team
and always be on the lookout for bright highly successful to
add to your team.

Persistence
If you really want to succeed in life, you must develop

persistence. It has been said that success leaves footprints.
So study some successful people. What is one
characteristic most of them have in common? If you study
successful people, you will find that a large percentage of
them have found a niche and stuck with it. They did not
jump from one opportunity to the next. They did not chase
every dream or get rich quick scheme that was presented to
them. They found a niche and stuck with it.
It really does not matter what area you choose to specialize

in, it will take some time to establish yourself in your chosen
field. You will need to learn the ins and outs of your
particular business. Then depending on your marketing, it
will take some time for you and the business to gain traction.
You can speed it up with good marketing. But very likely,
you will not start at the top of the game. Here is where most
people go wrong. They try it for a few months and when
they don’t meet with instant success, they think there is
something wrong with their chosen field. The grass looks
greener in some other pasture. But if you are going to be
highly successful, you must learn to stay the course. Often
people give up just when they are at the brink of a break
through.
If things are going a little slow, put a little more energy into
the business. Giving up or switching directions too soon runs
a great risk. You must learn to hang in there and be
persistent. If something is basically wrong with your
business model, don’t be stubborn. Learn to tell the

difference between a structural problem with the model and
an execution problem. Most problems are with the
execution. We don’t do all the things we should or we don’t
execute efficiently. If you are doing everything correct from
an operational/marketing standpoint, then it is time to
question the business assumptions.
Summary
Designing your life can be reduced to two concepts – getting

clear and taking focused action.
There is so much going on in each of our lives, it is often

difficult for us to get really clear – and if we are not clear,
focused action is simply not possible.
We often get sidetracked, we become opportunistic rather

than strategic, that is we jump on each and every opportunity
that comes our way. There is an abundance of opportunity.
But you have limited time and resources. You must decide
on your highest value activities. Devote your time to making
your high priority items work successfully. There is generally
more money in doing one thing extremely well than in doing
ten things moderately okay. The better you get at doing your
particular task, the more valuable you become.
If you are not achieving what you want, check on your clarity
of purpose. If your purpose is clear, examine how much
action you are taking toward your goals.
What is holding you back?

Achieving your goals is not nearly as difficult as most people
think. If you find you are having trouble reaching your goals,
you are probably doing something wrong. Here is a list you
can use to find out what you might be doing wrong.
1. Are your goals written? Are they clear? Is there a

specific time frame for accomplishing them?
2. Have you identified all the resources you will need to

accomplish your goals?
3. Have you identified where you might find the resources

you do not currently have?
4. Have you asked for help in obtaining the resources you

need?
5. Have you made a step by step plan for obtaining your

goals?
6. Are you following the plan?
7. Are you waffling between conflicting goals? Do you say

you want something but act totally different?
8. Are you failing to take action on your plan? Why? Ask

yourself why you are not doing the things you know you
should be doing?
9. If you are slipping, revisit your goals. Ask yourself why

you listed the goal in the first place. What outcome were
you expecting from this goal? How important to you was
this outcome? If you don’t have a strong “why” for each

and every goal, you will not have the driving force
necessary to achieve it. So re-examine your “why” for
each goal. Those goals that were merely wishes should
be removed from your list. You do not want to get into
the habit of listing half-hearted goals and then not putting
in the effort. You will come to accept failure as a way of
life and that will destroy your drive.

Additional resources
As you learned earlier, if you wish to achieve your full

potential in life, you must develop a habit of continuous
learning and growing. You must become a student of life
and if you wish to succeed in business, you must become a
student of business. You will need to adopt a multi-prong
approach to learning and growing. That will involve reading
books, listening to audio programs, attending live programs
and at some point in your development you will need to take
the leap and engage mentors and coaches that will help you
accelerate your growth. While you can learn a lot and make
a certain amount of progress from mentors who do not
charge directly for their time and advice, at some point in
your development you will need to spring for paying big
bucks to personal attention. Don’t look at any of these costs
as expenses. Look at them as an investment in yourself. An
investment that will build in value and continue paying
dividends for the rest of your life.
Reading
When you are just starting out, the least expensive method
of learning and growing is to read good books. You will do
best to take a systematic approach to your reading. That is,
develop the habit of reading for a fixed amount of time each
day. You should read those types of books that will assist
you in your growth. This can be biographies of successful
men (and unsuccessful for that matter – so you learn what
not to do), how-to business books, marketing and
management. You should also read some psychology
books. You need a good understand of why people do what

they do. Also round out your reading with history and
philosophy.
Here are my top ten lists of business and life books:
Self help, inspirational, motivational
As a Man Thinketh James Allen
How to Get What You Want Orison Sweet Marden
My Personal Best John Wooden
Why we do What we do: Understanding Self-motivation

Edward L.
Deci
A Manual for Living (A Little Book of Wisdom)

Epictetus
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Carol Dweck
The Power of the Subconscious Mind Joseph Murphy
The Greatest Salesman in the World Og Mandino
Man’s Search for Meaning Viktor E. Frankl
The University of Hard Knocks Ralph Parlette

Business books:
Dr. Deming Rafael Aguayo
Selling the Invisible: A Field Guide to Modern Marketing

Harry Beckwith
Influence: Science and Practice Robert Cialdini
Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill
Good to Great Jim Collins
Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and

Personal Success
Kevin Freiberg, Jackie
Freiberg
The Richest Man in Babylon George Clason
The Magic of Thinking Big David Schwartz
All Marketers are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in

a Low-trust World
Seth Godin
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind T. Harv Eker

Audio
One of the best ways to accelerate your learning is to turn

your drive time into learning time. You can do this by
listening to audio CDs while you are driving. The following
are a partial list of the programs I have listened to. I am sure
you can find many more. But the important point is to
engage in a program of continuous learning. Once you find
a program that you relate to, listen to it often. Psychologists
tell us that we need to internalize ideas – that is make them
our own – for them to really work for us. The best way to
imprint the ideas in our brain is by repetition.
This is a partial list of programs that I recommend.
Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Deepak

Chopra, Napoleon Hill, Jack Canfield, Ron White, Dan
Kennedy, Jack Zufelt, Earl Nightingale, Denis Waitley and
Jim Fay.
You can put any of the above names in your search engine
and it will give you any number of web sites where you can
buy their material. Of course, you can and should check
ebay. As long as you are buying CDs the material should be
in good condition and you can get it at a fraction of the cost.
Please understand I have only listed a fraction of what is

available

Mentors/coaches
You are not going to learn million dollar ideas from the shoe
shine boy. I am not trying to be mean to the shoe shine boy.
There is a need for them and I am glad that some people
have decided that is their calling in life. It is just that as
stated before, your income will depend in part on the caliber
of people you associate with. And if you want to be in the
circle of millionaires, you have to think and act like a
millionaire. You can only learn that one way. Associate with
them.
We have been conditioned to shop for goods and services

by price. When we have no other means to gauge the value
of a product or service, we tend to make our selection on
price. It is very difficult for us to evaluate coaching
/mentoring services. After all, there is no objective method
of measuring one service against another. And as a result,
we often look for the least expensive coach / mentor and
think we have gotten a great deal or saved some money.
This is a very short-sighted approach to finding a coach /

mentor. Like most other products or services, the price often
is an indication of the quality. If you are looking to be among
the very top income earners, then you need to seek out a
highly successful coach / mentor. Do not look at saving
money in this area. Often for a few dollars more you can
expect a much greater return on your investment.
There are many high level coaches that charge upwards of

$10,000 per year for their inner circle coaching programs.
However you will find that most of the people who get in
these programs tend to stay in them. They stay in them for
one reason. They get more out of the program than it cost.

I am not suggesting that you jump into one of these
expensive coaching programs right off the bat. But as you
learn and grow, there will come a time when it is right for
you. The time does not have so much to do with the size of
your business and your willingness to be open to accept the
coaching and to take action. If you are not willing to listen
and take action, it does not matter how much you are paying
– the value will not be there. The value is not so much in
what you learn but the action you take on what you learn.
No coach can take the action for you. You must be willing to
do the work yourself.
Attend seminars, boot-camps, workshops.
You should plan to attend at least one or two live programs

each and every year. There are two reasons. The first of
course is you should learn something new each time you
attend an event. You do not need to learn 10 or 15 things to
make the event worthwhile. Just one or two new ideas can
make a huge difference in your life or your business. Of
course, learning a new idea will not, by itself change
anything. You must implement the idea. But if you will learn
one or two ideas from each event you attend, and then
implement the idea with massive action, you will see some
amazing results.
The second reason to attend live events is the people you

will meet. Often times you will gain more value from the
people you meet at events than you will get from the stage.
But chances are you would never meet some of the people
unless you attended the events. So make it a point to go to
events and then once there, make it a point to get around.
Do not just hand out business cards. Make it a point to
really connect with three to five people. Learn what they do
and how you could possibly help them. Do not be afraid to

share your knowledge. The more you put into an event, the
more active you are about making connections, the more
value you will obtain.
Designing Your Life

Appendix A
Goals Worksheet
If you are going to achieve all the goals you have listed, you
will need to follow a system. You cannot approach your
goals in a casual manner and expect to achieve them.
Some people are under the mistaken impression that all you
need to do is write down your goals and by keeping them in
front of you they will by some magic appear. While you must
keep your focus on what you want, you still need a system to
follow. The following is a basic path to achieve any goal.
You should make copies of this worksheet and use one copy
for each goal.
State your goal:

________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
State why you want to achieve this goal:

Remember your “why” must be strong enough to propel you
to action when the going gets a little rough. You need some
strong emotional reasons for wanting to achieve this goal.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What will be the changes in your life as a result of

achieving this goal?
How is your life going to change as a result of setting and

achieving this goal? Are you prepared to learn and grow?
Are you comfortable with the changes you expect from
achieving this goal?
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Is your goal a SMART goal?
Is it specific?
Is there any way for you to get more specific about the goal?
Remember the more specific you are, the easier it will be to
obtain. Your subconscious mind works best when the
directions are very clear.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Is the goal measurable?

How will you know when you achieved the goal? Are there
milestones along the way to measure your progress?
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Is it attainable?
Your goal needs to stretch you from where you are now to
where you want to be. But while the goal should stretch you,
make you learn more and try new and different things, it
should not be so far that you give up before you even start.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
____
Is it realistic?
You must make sure that the goal you have set is realistic
for you. Are there things in your physical make-up that make
achieving the goal unrealistic? For example if you are under
5 feet tall, having a goal to play professional basketball is
probably unrealistic. Don’t set goals that are totally out of
the realm of possibilities.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________
_____
Time
You must assign a time frame for achieving your goal. If

there is no specific time frame, you will not be propelled to
action. You need some deadlines to force you to take
action. While you need a specific time frame for achieving
your goal, you also should have some time frames for
achieving steps along the way.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Plan of Action
Now that you are totally confident that your goal qualifies as
a SMART goal we are ready to design a plan of action.
While the goal might represent the arrival of a certain point in

your life or career, there are some intermediate steps to
achieving each goal. For example if you were looking to
start your own business, you would pick a market, see if you
could identify a niche within that market, decide on a plan of
operations, pick a location to run your business, determine if
you wanted or needed employees, etc. In short, for a major
goal there a number of smaller steps that need to be
accomplished in order to achieve the goal.
So the first step in achieving any major goal is to break it

down into as many small steps as possible.

Step one:________________________________________
Step two:________________________________________
Step three:_______________________________________
Step four:________________________________________
Step Five:________________________________________
Step Six:_________________________________________
Step Seven:______________________________________
Step Eight:_______________________________________
Step Nine:________________________________________
Step Ten:________________________________________
You may be able to break your goal down into more steps.
On the other hand you may find that there are not that many
separate steps, If you find you want to break the goal down
into more than 10 steps, that is perfectly okay. Remember
the smaller the step, the easier it should be to accomplish
and the more confident you will be as you are making
progress toward your goal. If you need additional steps, just
make a separate worksheet with the additional steps.
Next we will answer each of these questions for each step:
What resources do I need to complete this step of my goal?

Resources could be special knowledge, expert help, money,
or any other asset necessary to complete this step.

________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Where will I obtain the resources for this particular step?

Be sure to list all the sources you can think of. Do not limit
this to just your sources. Ask others for assistance,
guidance and help.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What actions do I need to take in order to complete this step

of the goal? Is there a particular order to the actions I need
to take? If so, list the actions in logical order.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What results do I expect from the above actions?

________________________________________________
________________________________________________
How will I measure the results of the actions to determine if

they give me my expected outcome?
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What actions will I take if the results are different from those
that I expected? You may not be able to answer this
because the different results might have a significant
influence on the actions. Just realize that if your results are
different than what you expect, you will need to make some
adjustments.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________

What is the time allotted for completing this step? Is this
time realistic? What happens if the time schedule slips?
What can I do to make sure the time schedule does not slip
or if it slips can I make up the time somewhere else?
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What am I going to do today to move me along the path

toward the achievement of this step?
You need to repeat this question each and every day until
this step of the plan is complete.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Who can I enlist as an accountability partner?
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Am I willing to be held accountable?

________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
How will I inform my accountability partner of the steps to be

accomplished and my work toward accomplishing the steps?

________________________________________________
________________________________________________
What time frame will we use to check my progress? This

could be daily for some parts, weekly for others and even
monthly for overall progress. But you must decide and have
a structure.
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Your initial reaction might be that this is a lot of work.
Actually it will ultimately result in less work and a faster and
more direct path to achieving your goals. You will need to
do all the steps anyway. Why not do them in a systematic
fashion?
If you do not set time deadlines and have some method to

being held accountable, your time frame and your
commitment to your goals has a real chance of slipping.
The very most important step is to take consistent action

toward your goals. If you struggle with fear, chances are you
are trying to accomplish too much in too short a period of
time. Your success will be determined on the amount of
action you take. So there is a trade off between
recommending massive action and consistent action. The
more action you take, the quicker you will realize your goals.
But if your plan of action has you taking more action than
you can handle and you lapse into inaction because of fear,
then you are worse off. My suggestion is to start off with
small but consistent action and gradually increase the
amount of action you are taking.

The worksheet is general and is intended to cover most
situations. If you find you are following the action plan but
getting stuck, I invite you to contact me for additional help.


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Designing Your Life

© Teach the Soul – 2007 1

© Teach the Soul – 2007 2

© Teach the Soul – 2007 3

These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals

If you are working from a hard copy, you can download

© Teach the Soul – 2007 4

If you want to design a life that is special, different from the

Here is a very powerful truth. If you designed your current

There is one thing you must understand. If you want to

© Teach the Soul – 2007 5

While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals,

If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime, how much time

But that is what so many people do in life. They go off on

© Teach the Soul – 2007 6

Here is an overview of what we will cover.

Your core values and beliefs

This is what determines your actions. Your actions, based

Based on your core values and core beliefs, you should

You must be open to doing things differently. You must

© Teach the Soul – 2007 7

Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You

© Teach the Soul – 2007 8

We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the

Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At

Who we choose to associate with can expand our

© Teach the Soul – 2007 9

If you are like most people, making money is at or near the

The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest

© Teach the Soul – 2007 10

If you are going to truly be successful in life, you need to

© Teach the Soul – 2007 11

I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have

Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets

All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s

If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in

© Teach the Soul – 2007 12

Most people think of success in terms of financial

This course is designed to help you reach your personal

© Teach the Soul – 2007 13

• Relationships: spouse or soul mate, family and

There is a common thread between all these items. You will

The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach

© Teach the Soul – 2007 14

You should also understand that there is a significant

It’s unfortunate, but we as a society have developed an

© Teach the Soul – 2007 15

For some people, the definition of success has nothing to do

This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life

Now that we have covered the overview, let’s get started.

© Teach the Soul – 2007 16

How do beliefs control your actions?

But the belief that you do not control your circumstances

Continuing to take the actions we take, lead to the

© Teach the Soul – 2007 17

How do you change your beliefs?

So the first step is to

Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame. We

© Teach the Soul – 2007 18

Resentment is like drinking poison and

Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and

© Teach the Soul – 2007 19

This will not happen overnight. You will need to constantly