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Mood Swings: Living with a Pendulum

of Emotions
By Matt Allen G · February 7, 2019

In politics they say, “the pendulum swings both ways” just like on an
old clock. If you are not sure what a pendulum is, it’s that weighted
ball at the end of a long rod that swings left and right allowing the
mechanics of a clock to keep track of time. A pendulum naturally
swings just as far to the left as it swings to the right, and it
continuously maintains this motion: left, right, left, right, tick, tock,
tick, tock. Anyway, in politics, the pendulum metaphor is used to
describe the idea that one party may maintain power for a given
amount of time, but because “the pendulum swings both ways,” the
other party will eventually gain and hold power. Well, it often feels
that way with the emotional roller coaster of multiple sclerosis (MS).
Even when nothing good or bad is happening in life to warrant the
sudden changing of emotions, one minute you may be happy, and the
next minute your emotional pendulum may swing the other way, and
you may be sad.

There is no logical path between emotions

But already, we have hit two significant problems with using this
analogy to describe the assortment of emotions that MS can cause.
First of all, there are more than two emotions to swing between
(again, a pendulum only swings left and right). We can be happy, sad,
angry, irritated, depressed, motivated, bored, etc. Secondly, there
really isn’t a pattern when it comes to mood swings. They are often
erratic and unpredictable, unlike the repetitive path of a pendulum. I
instead imagine my mood swings like a pendulum that can swing in

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every direction possible rather than just left and right. One minute I
am happy, and the next minute I am sad, but rather than swinging
back to happy, I may become angry or maybe depressed. You could, of
course, find a logical path between all these emotions that would
explain why you made it from one to the other, but from my
perspective? There really doesn’t seem to be any logic to it
whatsoever.

I can feel my emotions start to bubble up

Without any apparent rhyme or reason, I will wake up feeling one way
and go to bed feeling another. Sometimes, I will even actually be
aware of this seemingly random change in my emotional state; I’ll be
sitting there in such a great mood when all of a sudden I’ll start to
notice that my emotions are starting to slowly bubble up like a boiling
pot of water. I can literally feel something happening. Something
changing. And just like that, out of nowhere, I will become incredibly
irritable, and every stupid little thing will make me lose my cool. Being
aware of this random change only makes it worse (in the moment)
because all I can ask myself is, “Why do I feel this way? There is no
reason for me feeling the way I do! It makes no sense!”

Another frustrating symptom of MS

I don’t know enough about mood swings to try to teach you anything
about them; I have never even really researched them at all, I just
know they are common in MS. It always just sort of made sense to me
because MS is basically messing with the pathways in our brains, and
from what I have gathered over the years, our brains seem to have
some sort of mysterious connection to our emotions. Did my sarcasm
make it through on that one? Anyway, all I am trying to do here is
explain to you what it feels like to me. It’s another frustrating aspect
in my life with MS. To feel such a wide array of emotions but not

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always know why I am feeling them. To me? It’s just one more tool that
MS has to make me feel powerless.

I have learned to deal with mood swings better

Now, I know what you are probably thinking and of course, I am on

medication, and yeah, I have even spoken to a therapist. After all that I
have done, it’s definitely much better today than it was 5 years ago
but not because the mood swings occur less often but because I have
learned to spot them and deal with them better. I guess it’s like they
say, you may not be able to control all the things that happen to you in
life, but you can control how you react to those things. I may not be
able to fully control my mood swings, but I can control how I react to
them which hopefully helps mitigate the impact they have on my life.

Do you experience mood swings? How do you manage them? Share

below!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this
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recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how
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Comments

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Donna Steigleder moderator 1 year ago

Chong61, That sounds very frustrating. Is it happening to you often enough to be

concerning? If so, you might want to mention it to your doctor on your next medical

appointment. There are actually medications that can be added to your treatment

plan to help control mood swings. If you haven’t tried them yet, they are worth

checking out as an option. Here is some additional information about mood swings to

consider as well that you may find helpful:

https://multiplesclerosis.net/symptoms/emotional-changes/ I hope you’re able to find

some relief soon. Donna Steigleder, Moderator

chong61 1 year ago

Yes, I have mood swings and I can’t or don’t manage them. They manage me.

I lay on the bed to rest thinking how much better I will feel. Then, a mood will strike

me and I can’t lay there. I get angry with myself to no avail. I am trying to rest because

I am fatigued to my limit. My mind says get up and calm down. What a laugh!

Sometimes I wish I could just stomp thru my home, slamming doors as I go and just

knowing it will help with frustration. Well, then you got to handle the frustration and

the beat just goes on and on. Never in my control anymore. I was never a door

slammer so that is definitely MS talking through my brain.

Maybe tomorrow I will be happy all day. Got to keep trying.

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