HELP YOURSELF

HOWTOGET THEASSISTANCEYOUNEEDBUTWON’TASKFOR
Live better every day

1.GETCOMFORTABLEWITHTHEIDEAOFHELP 2.H
 ONEYOURREQUEST
If you don’t ask for help because it’s a sign of weakness,
you’re acting like an Opaque Leader
FORHELP
You need to see how requesting help signals confidence. List the actions below ☐F
 ind the right person, not whoever is
into either “Looks like confidence” or “Looks like something else.” No peeking handy or you feel comfortable with.
at the answers until you’re finished. ☐B
 riefly explain why you are reaching
A. Get an A++ in grooming and attire E. Know they have weaknesses out to them. Saying “I like/respect
B. Listen more than they speak F. Forcefully command attention your experience in this area” is valid.
C. Don’t seek attention G. Feel the need to take courses regularly An example will make the proposed
D. Make decisions independently H. Form opinions without asking others helper feel even more valued.
☐B
 riefly explain what you are trying to
Looks like confidence: Looks like something else: achieve. Skip details in favor of the
final result.
☐M
 ake your request specific so the
Answers proposed helper can easily assess
Looks like confidence = B, C, E, G Looks like something else = A, D, F, H what you’re asking. Also give the
Confidence is belief that we can handle a These signs of pseudo confidence create timeframe (avoid asking last minute).
situation, even if mistakes happen. This lets a reality that doesn’t call our abilities into ☐ Identify the value you’ll receive
us ask when we don’t know something. question, making it hard to accept help. from their help and the value they’ll
receive (sometimes it’s satisfaction
OR of helping, which you don’t have to
explicitly state).
If you believe that getting things done right means doing
it yourself, you’re acting like an Uneasy Leader ☐C
 heck wording to avoid phrases
that sound meek or desperate.
You need to think about accepting help as a way to make things better. Examples: if you have time, I
1. Pick a question below (or create one) and come up with as many answers as you hesitate to ask, huge favor, can’t
can. Then ask five or more people to answer and share their responses with you. do it without you, I’m over my head,
Questions: • How and why is beauty necessary? • Why do people put up with when can you start?
things? • What are elements of a well-spent life? ☐C
 heck wording to avoid phrases
2. Reflect on your collaboration: • How did this experiment expand your thinking? that sound reluctant or arrogant.
• Which answers from the group inspired or intrigued you? • How would you Examples: I would do it myself if…, I
continue to explore this question with the group? • How do you feel about your wish I didn’t have to ask you, forces
role as leader of this experiment? me to ask, I can’t do everything, if
you can’t help it will still be good.
OR ☐C
 heck wording to make your
request sound like you respect them
If you think your request for help isn’t worthy enough, and yourself.
you’re acting like a Hesitant Leader ☐T
 hink about how to thank the helper.
You need to believe that others want to help. To build this understanding, assist Often, eye contact and a sincerely
someone you don’t know well. Then answer the following questions: said “thank you” does the trick.
• What emotions did helping conjure in you? • Did you feel a sense of purpose or
meaning? • Did you focus on how you felt or how the other person felt? • How
concerned were you about whether the person deserved help? • How did it make
you feel about your place in the world?