JUST FOR US

Peo p le w i t h a le s b i a n gay b i s e x ual t r a n s ge n d e r o r q uee r p a r e n t

A p ubl i ca t i o n Of COLAGE

celeb r a t i n g 2 0 y ea r s VO L. 21 #1 201 0

O ur Di fference i s Ou r St r e n gt h :
Out Of Controversy Constance McMillen Emerges as a Young Leader

W
hen word the chance to finally bring
spread that her date. But the people
Constance who organized it, tricked
McMillen would be Constance and several other
wearing a tuxedo and marginalized students into
bringing her girlfriend going to a false location
to the prom, her school to again prevent her from
in the small town of bringing her date. The
Itawamba, Mississsippi, American Civil Liberties
about 20 miles east Union (ACLU) is now
of Tupelo, reacted by representing Constance
canceling the entire in a lawsuit in which
prom to prevent her the Itawamba County
from bringing her date. school district and school
News quickly spread from Itawamba to neighboring officials are named as defendants. COLAGE
towns, to popular online blogs, and to mainstream Communications Coordinator Mark Snyder,
news channels like CNN. When an alternative interviewed Constance:
prom was announced, Constance was excited for continued on p. 9

C O L AG E H el p s U s F i n d O u r s elv e s
By Niekia Franklin

G
rowing up, my family was
like Humpty Dumpty.
Even before I was born, my
mother, a black and Native American
lesbian, and my father, a white straight
man, could just never get back together
again. At first growing up I did not
know that society saw anything wrong
with my mother being gay.
As I got older things began to
change. When I threw my own
birthday party for the first time, I thought that it was a raging success.
But when I threw my second birthday party, people would not come. I
found out later it was because word had spread that my mother was poor,
and a lesbian.
It was then that I began to resent that my mother loved who she loved.
Over the course of my childhood I ran into several snags, slurs, and points
of internal conflictionconflictse in common. In angst, I turned against
those parts of my mom.
After her death, when I began to mature and become more
independent, I truly began to regret denying her sexual identity. My mother
had been in love, she had feelings, that I had chosen to turn a blind eye to.
Looking back I realize how much pain I must have caused her. My mother
and I were the two that went out into public and made onlookers jealous
because of the fun that we had, we did everything together and yet I could
talk about the boys that I thought were smart, and she could not honestly
address that huge part of herself. In facing criticism she was my backup, I
was hers, except on this matter, where I ditched her side to fight on the
other side out
of fear. When
I found
COL AGE
I thought it INSID E
was a very New Donor Insemination Guide
continued ... Page 3
on p.11
Meet 3 COLAGE Founders
... Page 15
Director’s Note Beth E. Teper Executive Director

H i s t o r y i n t he
t COLAGE
Making M ISSI O N
COLAGE is a national movement of

E
children, youth, and adults with one or
very moment at COLAGE is a historic one. Whether more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender
we are blazing a trail as activists or simply being our and/or queer (LGBTQ ) parent/s. We build
community and work toward social justice
authentic selves in a world that treats us differently, through youth empowerment, leadership
we continue to be leaders at the forefront of the struggle for development, education, and advocacy.
equality and justice for all. This issue of Just For Us (JFU)
is a very special one because in it, together, we celebrate staff
20 incredible years of building our national youth-driven Beth E. Teper – Executive Director
network of people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender Bethany Lockhart  – Program Coordinator
Carlos Uribe – Program Director
or queer (LGBTQ ) parent. Every one of us can be proud of Emily McGranachan- Summer Intern
the change we have made and the changes we are working Jack Ryder – Development Manager
to realize. Jamie K Evans – Summer Intern
Can you believe it was 1989 when the first issue of Just Jamon Franklin – Finance & Operations Manager
Jeff DeGroot – Fellow
For Us was written by gay father Ed Lammano and his Mark D. Snyder – Communications Coordinator
daughter Claudia? A year later, several young people built Matthew Guerrero – Summer Intern
on the momentum they sparked and created COLAGE. I’m Webmaster – Jim Lengel
so excited for you to recall and/or learn about COLAGE’s ambitious beginnings through
Board of Directors
the inspiring interviews with three of our founding members. Twenty years later, we are a
Chair, Tobi Hill-Meyer, OR
more vibrant, more visible, more energized community than we have ever been thanks to the
Vice-Chair, Aaron Sachs, CA
foundation they built. Secretary, Deanna Makinen,NH
While there are many challenges in front of us -- from passing comprehensive Treasurer, Steve Scarlato, F
immigration reform to ensuring every school is safe and welcoming-- there is no doubt that Alexis Collins, NY
we are moving forward. Our families are now featured on primetime television shows like Adam J. Costa, TX
GLEE and Modern Family. Celebrities like Rosie O’Donnel, who recently plugged COLAGE Crystallee Crain, CA
on her radio show, and Ricky Martin, who just came out as gay, are sharing their family Michelle Duso,RI
life with the public. President Obama affirmed that people have the right to designate who Morgan Green, CA
can visit them while in the hospital and federal legislation to protect employment, like the Asha Leong,GA
Caitlin MacIntyre,TX
Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) and the repeal of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Paul Perry, CA
policy, are within reach.
Cathy Sakimura, CA
Today a new generation of young people is speaking out and gaining the respect,
Brett Webb-Mitchell, NC
recognition and rights that all families deserve. Some are featured in this issue of JFU. Avery
Klein is the star and co-director of Off and Running, a new film that documents her struggles JFU Design
and triumphs coming of age as an African American adopted by two, white lesbians. You may Arin Fishkin
have heard about Constance McMillan who,made national headlines this Spring by standing Research Review
up for her right to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend to their high school prom but did Committee
you know Constance has a lesbian mom? COLAGE Fellow Jeff DeGroot wrote a ground Kate Kuvalanka, PhD
breaking resource guide about the curiosities and concerns shared by people with LGBTQ Abbie Goldberg, PhD
parents born through donor insemination. I am so proud of these young leaders, and everyone
CONTACT US
who is working to create a world in which our families are treated with the respect all families
1550 Bryant Street Suite 830
derserve. San Francisco, CA 94103
With so much to commemorate and celebrate, we’ve decided to host parties in San Francisco t. (415) 861-5437
on June 10, 2010 and in Washington D.C. on October 10, 2010. Log-on to www.colage.org to f. (415) 255-8345
purchase your tickets to our D.C. party, or contact Jack at jack@colage.org for more information. www.colage.org
log-on to www.colage.org to purchase your tickets. I hope to see you there! colage@colage.org
In pride and celebration,
© COLAGE, 2010.
Contact COLAGE for
Beth Teper reprint permission.
Exectutive Director

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C om i n g of A ge
C O L A G E Relea s e s G r ou n d b r ea k i n g
Do n o r I n s em i n at i o n G u i d e
As our 2009-2010 COLAGE Fellow, Jeff DeGroot created the ART
(Assisted Reproductive Technologies) Project and wrote COLAGE’s new-
est constituent-driven resource: The COLAGE Donor Insemination Guide
(DI Guide). This groundbreaking publication captures the perspectives of
donor-conceived youth and young adults who were raised by lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ) parent. The DI Guide offers tes-
timonials in order to answer the questions and address the concerns of cur-
rent and future generations of donor-conceived children... Find out more at
(www.colage.org/programs/art/). In addition to writing the guide, Jeff was
a facilitator at various national and local COLAGE events, fielded media
inquiries during our staffing transition, and worked on amicus legal briefs
for court cases directly impacting COLAGErs and LGBT families. Jeff will
start law school in the fall.
A
s many of you know, this year marks the 20th year COLAGE
has been in existence. The youth who originally founded
the organization in 1990 were mostly conceived through
heterosexual relationships that subsequently ended when one or more of
their parents came out as gay or lesbian. These founding members came
of age in the 1970’s and 1980’s as it was first becoming more accepted
for their parents to be out about their sexual orientation. As this queer
liberation was occurring, the women’s movement was also gaining
momentum. Spurred on the by the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision
and the wider availability of birth control women began taking control
over how and when they became pregnant.
As the women’s movement met the queer liberation movement, a
new phenomenon began to occur in the mid 1980’s, instead of wanting
to prevent pregnancy, many out lesbians wanted to know how to become
pregnant. With this new demand came a rise in sperm banks that
were queer friendly and would sell sperm to women who were not in
married heterosexual relationships. While today this might not seem
like a momentous event, it was most likely the first time in the history
of Western Civilization that out lesbians were conceiving and raising
children on a large scale. Undoubtedly, there were those who came before
and inseminated with known donors, but these
pregnancies were mostly isolated events and did not
“I think a guide that offers
information for children about
donor conception, or other’s
experiences is essential. I had
nothing like this growing up,
no other’s experiences to help
understand my own situation.
I believe it would have been a
great benefit.“
Nick Hetherington of COLAGE NYC is
one of the first people in the world born of a
lesbian mom through donor insemination.
Support COLAGE through Social Vibe! http://www.socialvibe.com/main#/causes/18
Jeff DeGroot
represent the boom that occurred in the 1980’s.
In 1990, as COLAGE was in its infancy, a new generation of DI
COLAGErs (people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer
parent born through donor insemination) was also just taking their
first steps. Thus, as COLAGE celebrates its 20th anniversary, this first
generation of DI COLAGErs is also coming of age and entering their early
and mid twenties. These donor conceived people with LGBTQ parents
are now speaking about their experiences and offering there advice for
subsequent generations of DI COLAGErs.
I am one of these donor conceived children that was born in the
1980’s to lesbian mothers. As my mother now puts it, “I wasn’t trying to
be an activist; I just wanted to be a mother.” Her road to this goal was
not easy. Several known donors failed to produce results while one of her
doctors refused to help her become pregnant because she was a lesbian.
Finally, on her last attempt, I was conceived. My donor ended up being
an anonymous man who was a friend of the doctor who did agree to help
my mother.
Like so many of my fellow DI COLAGErs, I struggled to explain
my family and genetic origins while growing
up. I would avoid questions about my “dad” at
all costs and would never tell people I had two
moms. I can imagine that many of my friends in
elementary school thought I had a super mom who
happened to be both a middle school teacher and
nurse practitioner. When I was pressed to answer
questions about my father, I never told the truth.
One of my well meaning elementary school friends
even looked up my last name in the phone book
and upon coming across a man with my last name
announced he had found my father.
As awkward as these early experiences were, I
grew older and became more out about my family
and being born through DI. I found friends who
were strong allies and supported me in situations
when I was too scared or embarrassed to be out
about my family. As I went to college, I began to
embrace being different and the mystery that is my
“father.” continued on p. 10
3
M ee t Th r ee C O L A G E F ou n d e r s
HOPE MANLEY
Tell us a little bit about your family. 20s) that we formed the first JFU Steering Committee.
What's your "story?" What was your hope for COLAGE to become?
I grew up in Connecticut, my Dad My hope was that we could form a network and end the isolation
came out in 1978, and my parents that often came with having a gay parent in those days. I also wanted to
divorced. When I was older my Mom help families coping with AIDS and combat homophobia, in the world
was in a relationship with a woman, and in our families.
and my Dad died of AIDS in 1989. What are your thoughts or reflections on the growth and changes COLAGE
Now, I am living in Columbus, has made over the past 20 years?
Ohio, I work as a sign language In 1990, many of us were personally affected by the AIDS crisis and
interpreter and I have a 6 year old were also children of divorce. Those were two of the biggest issues we
daughter Lila with my ex-husband who is a trans-man. dealt with, but we could see that they were unique to "our generation"
When do you first remember meeting other people with a gay, lesbian, of COLAGErs.
bisexual, or transgender parent? Kids growing up in LGBT families, 5 or 10 years younger than I
I knew of one other gay dad and his daughters growing up, but am, often are born into a family with two "out" parents or adopted by
other than that I pretty much thought my sister and I were alone in the a single LGBT parent. Divorce isnt necessarily the precursor to having
experience. a gay parent that it was for people my age, and thankfully, the impact
Describe the first meeting you were a part of that sparked the formation of the AIDS crisis has lessened. I am proud that COLAGE, as an
of COLAGE. organization is open and flexible enough to address the needs of both of
I went to college in Washington DC and was studying to become a these generations of COLAGErs.
sign language interpreter. Through a colleague who knew I had recently What issues does your family care about?
lost my Dad to AIDS I was contacted by the DC Gay Dads group and Gender. As a mom I am continually amazed by how concerned other
asked to speak to their children at an upcoming conference for gay and parents are about gender expression, especially in young boys! They will
lesbian parents. shame boys for the smallest thing for example picking a pink crayon or
It was at that gathering of "kids" (think mid and late teens and early a pink Easter egg. Its horrible!!

Emily Hache
Tell us a little bit about your family.
What’s your “story?”
When I was 19 years old and
a sophomore in college, my father
came out to me. He and my mom
split up shortly after that after many
years of marriage. I have two older
brothers, and it was quite a shock and
adjustment for all of us.
When do you first remember meeting
other people with a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender parent?
After my dad came out, I thought I was the only person in the world
that this had ever happened to (it was the early 90’s after all). Then my dad
suggested that we go to a national conference of a support group he had
been attending. The group at the time was called GLPCI (Gay and Lesbian
Parents Coalition International), and they were having a concurrent
conference for the kids. I was amazed at how many other young people
had a LGBTQ parent or parents.
Describe the first meeting you were a part of that sparked the
formation of COLAGE.
The conference in 1990 was really just to support the kids and give
us a voice in the community. There was already a newsletter, “Just For
Us,” and that was the original name of the kids’ group. We were part of
GLPCI, not our own organization at all. But we realized at that conference
that we needed more of a presence and more of a voice (and also a name
that reflected who we are). Some of us volunteered to be on the Board
of Directors to create a separate organization from GLPCI. We had a
weekend meeting where we really figured out what we wanted to be--our
mission, structure, etc. I really credit Stefan Lynch and Hope (Berry)
Manley with pushing everything forward. Stefan came up with COLAGE,
which seemed perfect, though we did debate for a while how to get another
“L” in there to spell the word correctly.
What was your hope for COL AGE to become?
When my dad came out, I would say that most of the kids came from
heterosexual marriages in which one of the parents came out. But even in
the early 90’s there were families who were formed “from scratch”--through
reproductive/fertility services, adoption, surrogates, etc. So at first, much
of the focus was helping kids deal with their mom or dad coming out of
the closet. But we always had a greater vision. The fact was that in both
the straight and GLBTQ communities, the kids were invisible. There was
a fair amount of disdain for GLBTQ people who had children even in
the GLBTQ community. And I think the kids in the worst position were
those who had begun to identify as GLBTQ themselves because their
parents wanted to somehow “prove” that being gay or lesbian wouldn’t
make their kids gay or lesbian. So our hope was to support the kids in any
way they needed, to give them a voice in both the straight and GLBTQ
communities, and to have them be recognized as not some “experiment,”
but as full human beings--so that kids would not have to work harder or
try harder to prove something to the straight or gay world.
How has your involvement in COLAGE influenced your life?
I realized how important it was to be involved, to fight for what’s right
and to be honest about who continued on the facing page

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Ali Nickel-Dubin
Tell us a little bit about your family.
What’s your “story”?
Growing up with a gay dad, I
always knew that if I grew up to be
gay or straight, my parents would be
supportive. At age 19, while on the
Phil Donahue Show about kids with
gay parents, I publicly came out as
a bisexual. Two years later I met my
partner Kim. She and I have been
together for nearly 18 years. We have two fantastic daughters-Jordan age
12 and Kelly age 9. We live in California where it’s not currently legal for
us to marry, but we are registered domestic partners and had a commitment
ceremony back in 1994.
When do you first remember meeting other people with a gay, lesbian,
bisexual, or transgender parent?
I didn’t know it at first, but one of my best friends in my 4th grade class
also had a gay dad. Her dad and my dad were both in the same gay fathers
support group. When I was 13 I found out my dad was gay...as was hers.
Describe the first meeting you were a part of that sparked the formation
of COLAGE.
When I was 17 I started the Los Angeles group for kids with LGBT
parents. The following year, when I went to Washington DC for that
GLPCI Conference it seemed a natural transition to co-chair COLAGE
(then Just For Us). The kids were all energized and wanting to be in charge
of their own group. It was so long ago, I don’t remember what we all did
that weekend, but I remember the friends!
What was your hope for COLAGE to become?
I still am in awe of what COLAGE has become. I am so proud to be
affiliated with the group. My hope for COLAGE back then was to continue
to be a support system for kids with LGBT parents. I wanted us to reach
out to all the kids out there who were like us, but felt alone.
How has your involvement in COLAGE influenced your life?
My involvement in COLAGE has given me the tools to be a positive,
supportive, loving gay parent. It gave me role models. COLAGE has given
Emily Hache, continued from previous page
you are. When my dad first came out, I had a hard time telling people
what had really happened in my parents’ marriage. COLAGE showed
me that we must always “speak truth to power,” and challenge people’s
assumptions. I suppose it made me more of an activist. I’ve even taken
my own son, who’s 3, to his first protest--against Prop 8 in California.
What are your thoughts or reflections on the growth and changes
COLAGE has made over the past 20 years?
The changes in COLAGE have been amazing. I love that there
are so many families in the GLBTQ community now. When we
first started out, we were just a bunch of kids in a subgroup of our
parents. But COLAGE has a full identity now--kind of like the kid
who has grown up and left home to make her own life. I love it!
What do you envision COLAGE and the LGBTQ family movement
will be like in the next 20 years?
Obviously, the biggest challenge now is marriage equality...period. This
issue is important to all of us, but I think it’s especially important to the
Connect with COLAGE through our many online communities! www.colage.org/programs/online/index.htm
pen pals to my children who are now dear friends. COLAGE has given me
life long friends.
What are your thoughts or reflections on the growth and changes
COLAGE has made over the past 20 years?
Again, I am in awe of what COLAGE has become. An office! Paid staff!
Computers! I used to create the Just For Us newsletters on my typewriter!
There are more COLAGE members than I could ever have imagined. I am
proud of what COLAGE has become and proud to be a part of it all.
What do you envision COLAGE and the LGBTQ family movement
will be like in the next 20 years?
I hope the organization can reach ALL the kids with LGBT parents!
I hope the conferences and family weeks continue, and I hope to one day
be able to bring my family to one! I see COLAGE being affiliated with the
government to help educate the world about us kids with LGBT parents.
What inspires you about the next generation of COLAGErs?
My generation of COLAGErs most often came from heterosexual
marriages. They had to be TOLD their parents were gay. Not anymore.
More and more kids are coming into same-sex marriages. I believe
COLAGE will be a big part in showing the world that discrimination is
harmful and that their parents should be allowed to marry. That it will
help the kids!!
What are some issues your family cares about and why?
My family struggles with society’s judgments and cruelty. Because we
are not legally married we had to jump through hoops to have our children.
Because we cannot be legally married we do not get one another’s social
security in the future. We want to legalize same sex marriage...for the kids!
So they can know that their family is no different from any other.
Is there anything else you’ d like to share with the readers of Just For Us?
While I have brought the kids to a local COLAGE group, it’s been a long
time since I’ve been to a national COLAGE function. I hope some day to be
in Provincetown and meet more COLAGErs. It’s a giving, safe, wonderful
organization that just makes me beam with pride. Having been there from its
birth, I feel like a mother who couldn’t take care of her child any longer, so
she gave them up for adoption and was able to watch from afar as her child
grew and blossomed into a fine, wonderful mature adult.
kids. Every child deserves to have his family treated fairly and equitably.
What inspires you about the next generation of COLAGErs?
I am always amazed at how present, intelligent, and involved the
COLAGE kids are. I remember once at one of the conferences we had a
speaker (sadly, I can’t remember her name), but she said that activists have
a longer life expectancy than non-activists--activists actually live longer
and healthier lives. Basically, working for something you really care about
is good for your brain, spirit, and body! I see that in COLAGE--these kids
are mature and aware in a way that would have been inconceivable to me
at a similar age.
What are some issues your family cares about and why?
Marriage, marriage, marriage. We really need to break down that
barrier.
Is there anything else you’ d like to share with the readers of Just For
Us?
Happy Anniversary, COLAGE! 20 years went by awfully fast, but it’s
still amazing what’s been accomplished. Congratulations!
5
Creating Change: The Next Generation
A discussion with Luca and her 2nd Gen M om
Questions for Luca:
How old are you? What grade
are you in?
I am 8, and I am in 2nd
grade.
Tell us a little bit about your
family.
I have two moms and I have
some other people who live in
my house named Kelly and Flo.
And a dog, cat, and lizard.
Did you have fun at Creating
Change in Dallas this year?
Yes. I enjoyed all of it!
What was it like to be in a
room with just people who
have an LGBTQ parent?
It was fun!  I haven’t met people of different ages that also have two
moms.
Do you know any other kids with an LGBTQ parent?  different was that by the time I was in a relationship, when we wanted
I have a lot of friends who have two moms and two dads.
Are there any in your school?
There’s a couple of kids who have two moms at my school. I think
only a couple. I do not really talk to them about it at school. Also, one
of my moms went to college with the parents of other kids who live near
me who have two moms.
What do you think is great about having an LGBTQ parent?
I think it’s cool because it’s fun. Most people in my class never met
anyone else with a lesbian parent. It’s kind of cool that I’m the only one.  
Do they ever ask you questions about it?
Not really.
How have the other kids at your school reacted when they find out?
I think what happens is that their parents explain it a little bit more
to them. My friends have accepted it. But some people at school haven’t.
Like one girl on the bus. She kept asking me if I had a dad, and she said
it seems like I should have a dad. I kept saying I don’t have a dad, and
then I said I had a dad but my mom was never with him. She shrunk
down in her seat then.
What kind of hobbies do you have ?
I like to do math and reading and gym. Outside of school I like to
go to the park and play with my friends. We play tag outside and stuff. 
Do you like get to meet other kids with other LGBTQ parents?
- it’s cool because I know a lot of people that do but I like meeting
more that are older than me that do. They know other people that are
older than me that have two moms, but like way older than me.
At COLAGE we have volunteer opportunities, where people can lead
a workshop for example. Can you imagine doing that one day?
Sort of and sort of not.... well I just can picture it in my head but I
can also see that maybe I won’t be doing that stuff anymore when I am
older. I had a friend who is older who likes to go to COLAGE, she is
about ten.
Imagine that you got to speak with the president - what would you
tell him that you’ d like to fix in the country, or imagine you were
writing a letter to him - what would you tell him?
I would tell him - if we could stop the war, stuff like that.
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Questions for Susan Raffo
(Luca’s Mom):
Tell us a little bit about your family.
There’s the “close up” family – me, my partner Rocky, Luca, our
two housemates Kelly and Flo, our dog, cat and gecko.
Our “big family” is the community we live in, children and adults
and a lot of people.
I think sometimes the space we get confused about, in terms of
language, is the special place family of origin has, and so sometimes
either one of us may talk about the family of origin as part of the close
up family and sometimes the “big family” It’s interesting how that
shifts back and forth.
How did having a lesbian parent yourself inform your decision to
have a child?
I actually came out first before my mother. My mother did not
come out until I was older, and so in a lot of ways the stuff that was
confusing about being “second gen” was about my mother coming out.
ie: Is this mine? Am I like my mother?
Because I came out as a lesbian first, I claimed the identity. What felt
to have a kid, it didn’t feel like it had anything to do with that. I take
pleasure in how broad Luca’s “normal” is. It was not like that for my
mother. It must have been a struggle for her. What Luca considers normal
is so vast. She’s comfortable being in multiple kinds of families and
communities. I’m sure it wasn’t so comfortable like that for my family.
They didn’t take pleasure in that kind of “normal” like I do now.
Do you remember when you first met someone else with a LGBTQ
parent?
I think children have always been a part of the communities I have
been a part of. I lived in a peace camp for a while where there were
children there with their lesbian and bisexual moms.
When did you first hear about COLAGE?
I first heard about COLAGE when Felicia Park-Rogers was the
director, and so that was the mid 90s. Felicia was giving a keynote at
the Creating Change conference, and I quote her to this day. First she
talked about what COLAGE was and talked about queer families as
being a sight of resistance and change, and she said “ in a broad based
movement for social justice there are three things queer people have to
share: sexual liberation, gender liberation, and family liberation.” And so
my experience of COLAGE was very much tied up with that perspective
on being a part of a broader movement - racial, economic, social justice
is all part of the picture, but here are these pieces that our experience, our
wisdom brings. That quote was such a gift to me.
I saw COLAGE grow as the years went by and I learned about the
many ways COLAGE is involved in making change.
How has being connected to COLAGE impacted your family?
There have been many young people in my life who have been
changed by their involvement with COLAGE. My close friend’s child
was 15 and struggling. After attending a COLAGE workshop they had a
healing, an epiphany. It was profound for them. That affected all of us.
Luca had been struggling too, and we talked about it and we thought
to bring conversation up with her friends and talked to the school - but
there was a piece that had nothing to do with us that was just about Luca
that wasn’t shifting - that we couldn’t make shift, and it was profound for
Luca to be in that COLAGE workshop at Creating Change. Having me
be asked to leave so it was a COLAGEr
continued on page 12
She ’ s O ff & Ru n n i n g ! 
Avery Klein is the star of a new documentary, Off & Running which
chronicles her coming of age with lesbian parents. The film, which has
had great success at festivals around the country, will be airing on PBS
September 7, 2010. We wanted to catch up with Avery and ask her a
few questions about the movie and her experiences. Here’s what she had
to say!
Did you ever think the movie would take off like it did?
I didn’t. My family didn’t know either. None of us did. It was
kind of like Nicole, the Producer, told us; it may end up on tv or end
up going international and we were all like, “yeah, sure it will, sure it
will.” We never actually believed it would. When she told us it made
the Tribecca Flm Festival it was big shock to us!
What was it like to go on your own movie tour? 
It was amazing I had never left the country before We were in
Italy for a week. I got to see wonderful sites such as the Vatican and
meet people from all over the world. It was just amazing. We also saw
a lot of other powerful films in Italy. The whole experience was very
powerful. We also went to San Francisco, Florida, Washington, DC.,
so it has really been amazing traveling around and meeting other
people who are adopted, or looking to adopt. It’s been a wonderful
experience overall.
You were even interviewed by Rosie O’Donnell, what was that
like?
That was hilarious, it was fun, she’s funny, she’s wonderful, she
asked open and honest questions and made me feel comfortable, it was
one of the best interviews I had yet. We still talk now and we e-mail
back and forth.
How have people let you know they were inspired or moved by the
film?
I think the place where I met the most people that I can remember
connecting to is right here in New York. There were tons of girls who
were ages 16-25 that would come up to me and they were teary eyed. It
really got to their hearts. They went through similar things that I went
through so I mean overall the amount of caring and love that came from
audiences of people that saw this film has been amazing and really made
it worth making the movie. There have been 3 festivals in New York,
and a total of 10 showings in New York so compared to everywhere else
I’ve gone that’s where I’ve felt the most love and emotion.
What are you working on now?
Right now I’m at Delaware State University, on a scholarship for
Track Running, 4 weeks of school left, and looking for a summer job,
stuff like that. I enjoy it. I’m majoring in criminal justice. My goal is to
hopefully be a district attorney at one point in my life, but you kinda
work your way up from being a cop so that is probably what I will go
into now, and then hopefully working my way up all the levels.
How is your family?
My older brother is a junior at Princeton and he is going to be a
brain surgeon. He is dancing and he’s in a band that has been playing
all over the east coast. My younger brother is doing baseball and
karate and school and just being busy, he is 9 years old.
My parents are running around chasing him and still working.
Everyone’s relatively happy right now.
Did you know about COLAGE before the movie?
I had never heard of COLAGE until I went to a COLAGE chapter
event in New York for a screening of our film on my birthday. Nicole
Make your school safer with COLAGE resources! www.colage.org/resources/visibility.htm
was there doing an activitiy with kids who were 17 and 18. We went
around Manhattan and asked people what do they think a family is.
We connected a lot. Some of the kids had seen the film already. It
helps all of us out, in general, just being able to talk to somebody with
a shared experience.
COLAGE is something I plan on doing more with. I met two
women who have a group in Wilmington. That’s not too far from me,
so I’m going to go there and talk to the youth. Visiting a COLAGE
chapter was a wonderful experience, and I still have friends that I
made while I was there.
Do you remember the first time you met other people with an
LGBTQ parent?
I can’t say I remember because it has been what I’ve known
forever. We used to go to a family day camp where there was a group
of kids who were adopted. Many of them had gay or lesbian parents.
We have a close group of family friends who really came out and
supported us when the film came out. We’ve known this group of
people for a long time.
Do you have any advice for white parents who are considering
adopting across racial/ethnic lines?
For me personally, in my opinion that is, bring them into their
culture early rather than later, I know it’s hard because it might be out
of their realm as well. Be able to let your kids learn and embrace their
own culture because when they are pushed out there on their own its
really hard and it’s a much harder process. Introduce them to their
culture as soon as you can rather than raising them in your own.
Do people on your campus know about you and the movie?
Some of them do,. Some of them have seen it. They tried to get
it shown at my school but I said no because I don’t know if I want
the whole campus to see it. My whole team knows but they haven’t
seen it yet.
Is there anything else you’ d like to say to COLAGE JFU?
The best piece of advice from my experience – everyone has to
remember who they are, they may go through an identity crisis, but
in the long run you are who you are and as long as you know you’re
going to be okay and you can get through any obstacles you’ll be
ready. You have to know you’re strong enough to get through anything
and that you will.
7
colag E e v e n t s Sc r a p boo k

Youth and adult

COLAGErs
gathered for
a weekend of
organizing,
media training,
and community
building at our
North East
Regional Retreat
in NYC, January
2010.

A Happy 20th Birthday COLAGE cake made by

COLAGErs at Rainbow Families DC in April 2010 

Participants from SF Bay Area Youth

Leadership Action Program and
COLAGE staff premiere their podcasts
PSA’s encouraging LGBTQ families to
be counted in the 2010 Census

COLAGE NYC celebrates another successful bake sale in Park  COLAGE Delaware celebrates at their 1 year anniversary party!
Slope, Brooklyn to fund a Pride float!

Join COLAGE at an Event near you! www.colage.org/programs/events/


COLAGE staff and participants at the Speak OUT Camp held in
Woodstock, GA in November 2009.
Rainbow Families Minnesota Conference in March 2010
Youth form a “safety chain” at Around the Table: Iowa’s First Annual
Summit of LGBT Families & Allies, in November 2009!
www.colage.org | colage@colage.org | 415-861-5437
Constance McMillan, continued from page 1
In your own words, what happened with your school prom?
I think that the prom was cancelled to keep from having to change their
policy on no same-sex dates. Then when it came time for the alternative
prom, I was sent to an event where seven people were, and everyone else
went to another prom. I was heartbroken, really.
What has your past experience been like at your school and in your
community as a lesbian, and a child of a lesbian?
Well I have never really had any problems. I mean, sure there was
a person here or there that made a nasty face or something, but it was
nowhere near as extreme as it is now. My mother doesn’t live here, and her
being gay has never caused me any problems.
Did you know about Juin Baize's story? (The transgender teen kicked out of
your school for being a " distraction") What was your reaction?
Yes I did know and I was outraged. Juin is one of my friends and
he is the sweetest person I know. There is no excuse for how Itawamba
treated him. My reaction was outrage because I felt like the school was
discriminating against him. So me and a group of girls made a point to
wear clothes like boys to see what they would do. They told him he had to
go home but we had a choice.
Can you tell us more about your family?
Well, they are great really. They are very supportive. I have always been
close to them, family is very important to me, and really that’s where I
get most of my morals. My dad is a director of nursing at Cedars, and my
grandma and grandpa are disabled, and my mother is a waitress at Whistle
Stop Cafe in Wiggins, Mississippi.
What was it like to come out to your mom, and the rest of your family?
It wasnt hard. Like I said my family has always been supportive and
I knew they wouldn’t disown me because I have always felt the love from
them.
When did your mom come out to you, and what was that like?
When I was younger, like sixth grade maybe. I was mad at first, but
I think it was more that I was mad at her for never getting to see her,
because I didnt really understand all of her circumstances, than I was for
her being gay.
Did you know any other people with a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender
parent growing up?
No.
Did having a lesbian mom help give you the courage to stand up for yourself
at school? How?
Yes, she did. My mom thinks it is amazing what I am doing and she
is always there to comfort me. She is actually the one I called when I went
home crying the day I found out about the school prom policy, and she said
that it wasn’t right and I needed to do something about it.
Did you have a community- either of LGBTQ folks or people with LGBTQ
parents, before this incident?
I didn’t really know many before, but I do now!
Do you have any advice or calls to action for the young people who read
Just For Us?
I just think that you should always stand up for what you believe in
and who you are. I understand it can be hard but it is rewarding, really.
Update : Victory!
On July 20, 2010 the ACLU announced that "school officials agreed to
implement a policy banning discrimination or harassment on the basis of
sexual orientation and gender identity, the first policy to do so at a public
school in the state of Mississippi. The school also agreed to pay McMillen
$35,000 in damages and pay for McMillen’s attorneys’ fees."
9
All of the children, youth, and families whose
lives you’ve touched by your generosity, say
T H A NK YO U !
Our 2009 Donors
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www.colage.org | colage@colage.org | 415-861-5437
CO L AG E IS H ER E FO R US, A ND
WE 'RE H E R E F O R CO L AG E
I
can’t believe it’s been 16 1/2 years since Lily was born. She was and still is,
bright, feisty and beautiful. How proud my partner (now ex) and I were to
have this little one in our lives. It changed us forever.
Having a kid made some of our LGBT close friends more distant, not
because they didn’t like kids or love Lily—they did—but babies in bars and
clubs until the wee hours was something we just didn’t want to do. We even
vowed that Lily wouldn’t change our lives. I remember putting her carrier on
the sushi bar where she immediately became a regular. She was just a week old!
However, inevitably, our lives did change. We found ourselves wishing we had
more LGBT friends with kids. We needed to commiserate with others like us.
All we had were a few straight friends with children. It wasn’t the same, or at
least we didn’t think so at the time.
We joined the Berkeley YMCA baby swim class. The first day was great.
There were 2 or 3 lesbian families, a gay family and an assortment of straight
parents. We finally found there were other families like ours. It meant so
much to us, even when they laughed out loud when we put Lily’s bathing
suit on backwards. I thought something was wrong, but I didn’t quite know
what. Apparently the large dip in the suit was meant to expose her back, not
her entire front. Men. some things we needed to learn – quickly! This group
was the beginning for us, our “in” to meeting more gay and lesbian parents
with kids of all ages. Mainly, though, most had babies. Some of the parents
had started an informal baby group and we joined right away. We planned
outings, found kid–friendly restaurants, supported each other through colic,
flu, first steps and more. We had finally found our community.
This “baby group”eventually became Our Family Coalition (OFC)
– the San Francisco Bay Area’s LGBT family organization. At the time it
was a networking and play group with an online presence so that parents
from all over the Bay Area could be a part of what my partner and I had so
much trouble finding. As OFC grew, we became activists and resources for
prospective and new parents. And our kids kept growing too. It was clear that
OFC was still a great resource for parents, but the kids needed more. That’s
when COLAGE came into our lives.
Honestly, I can’t remember our first COLAGE event, but I do remember
our first trip to Provincetown for “LGBT family week” sponsored by GLPCI
(Gay and Lesbian Parenting Coalition International) which was shortened
into, thankfully, Family Pride and now Family Equality Council. COLAGE
was a part of GLPCI, run by the kids for the kids. I thought at the time, what
a great thing. Our kids supporting each other and creating a network of their
own was so important. I knew that that my kid(s) would need the kind of
support that only their peers could give. It was then that I knew I had to
COLAGE Helps Us Find Ourselves, continued from page 1
progressive, “California” type of thing. I didn’t realize the impact it would
have on my life. Participating in the COLAGE Speak OUT! Camp enabled
me to sort out my feelings towards my mother, towards general society, and
towards my fellow COLAGErs. The camp provided me with a new part of
myself, a new pride, a new fight. I think that this identity as a COLAGEr
is important to recognize for young and old people with LGBTQ parents.
Without a “COLAGEr identity,” it is hard to take a stand for our beliefs
and represent ourselves, not in the position that our parents take as people
who are LGBTQ, not as someone who generally believes in equality, but as
someone who sees their loved ones being torn apart and dehumanized in the
media and society on a daily basis.
There are a few general things that I hope to see for COLAGE. I hope
Speak OUT with COLAGE! www.colage.org/programs/youth/speakout.htm
By Jonathan Logan
help make sure that all kids
with same-sex parents had
COLAGE in their lives. At
Our Family Coalition I fielded
phone calls regularly from
parents who felt they couldn’t
come out in their communities
without risking their lives. Kids
had the same issues—school was
not an easy place to be different.
Reading about the risks our children faced in school, especially public schools
was chilling. COLAGE had to grow to meet the challenge of making kids
safe in school and elsewhere as well. Although our kids were often not gay
themselves, they were treated as if they were. Having gay parents is not
something you want to advertise in most places.
It was a wonderful experience watching COLAGE grow and continue
to expand their reach and their influence. They split off from GLPCI and
became their own non-profit. The older kids that still ran COLAGE were
smart, articulate and knew what kids with LGBT parents needed. Watching
them advocate for our families was inspiring. Frankly, they were pros. I could
never seem as comfortable speaking in front of large crowds and opening
my heart. Here were these kids testifying at city council meetings, going to
D.C. to take their cause to those who could change the laws to protect their
families. In many ways they were our first line of defense. An adult can tell
a similar story, but a ten year-old or 16 year-old got the attention and the
message clearly across to those who wouldn’t listen to us.
COLAGE is an activist organization. It is also an educational one,
teaching our kids how to advocate for themselves, letting them know that
they are not alone and they have nothing to be ashamed of. It is a group of
kids (and adults- there are quite a few parents working with COLAGE, and,
believe it or not, there are plenty of 40 year-olds with LGBT parents) who are
out and working for equality for all. These are our kids. They are the future.
Until this world learns to accept each other as we are, different and yet the
same, then COLAGE will always be needed. I have loved the time I have spent
working with COLAGE on different projects (I will never make another float
for any parade!) and I continue to support them financially. There are many
things that I am proud of in my life, but I will always be most proud of my
children. Eddie was adopted 7 years after Lily was born. He was 7. Both of
them found friends, security and comfort in knowing that their parents were
ok and they were ok too.
that COLAGE’s future includes national recognition to give more hope
to people in areas where being a person who is LGBTQ or a COLAGEr
is still very challenging. I hope to see COLAGErs who face challenges in
their family, culture, or faith find our organization, because I feel like there
have been many more harmful things said from my traditional Baptist
black family than from kids on the playground. My take on COLAGE is
that it is a multi-faceted organization that serves many otherwise unfilled
roles. It provides mutli-cultural awareness, education, and a place to make
friends. Most importantly, COLAGE provides refuge for kids with no
other place to retreat where we feel we don’t have to be on the defensive
for our parents. That resting spot of comfort is often needed to find one’s
identity and clarity without the critiques of others.
11
colage is turning 20!
Here are 20 ways you can celebrate today!
by Bethany Lockhart, Program Coordinator
1 Share your birthday wish with COLAGE! Email COLAGE20th@
colage.org to share what you would wish during this very
special year. Are there causes that matter most to your family
that you would want to make a difference in? Are there places
you wish COLAGE could have a presence? No wish is too big
or too small!
2 Save the date and join COLAGE at our 20th Anniversary Party
in Washington, D.C., October 10, 2010.
3 Participate in a local COLAGE chapter event or activity!
Celebrate your chapter’s anniversary too!
4  alk to your parents/guardians about how your family started.
T
Even though we have that in common, the ways that our
family was created can look very different from each other. Pull
out your photo books and learn what your family was up to 20
years ago when COLAGE first began.
5 Link with COLAGE on facebook to learn more about events,
programs and news! www.facebook.com/colage
6 Check out the  resources on the COLAGE website. There are
book lists, movie lists, and other resource booklets. If you don’t
see a resource that you need, let us know and we’ll help you
create one!
7 Attend a COLAGE training event, to sharpen your skills and
learn how you can use your voice to help make change.
8 Eat a slice of your favorite type of birthday cake! Yum!
9 Write an article for JFU about an issue or topic you care about
and that matters to your family
10 Help raise money for COLAGE programs that matter to you
and your fellow queerspawn. Stay tuned for details on Support
Our Community Campaign, a chance to share why COLAGE
matters most to you and help raise support for programs in your
community and beyond.
Luca, continued from page 6
only space made it about her, and she was able to claim it as her own
experience. It has been really big for her
What has it been like since Luca attended COLAGE's workshop at the
Creating Change Conference in Dallas?
Luca has talked about trying to find a way to start a group for
her friends here. She would ask sometimes at dinner if she cold have
a conversation, since attending a COLAGE workshop at Creating
Change Conference in DALLAS in February 2010. 10 or 15 minutes,
about having LGBTQ parents. There is zero doubt in my mind that
it was really powerful for her. I can’t tell you how grateful we are that
COLAGE was there. It was huge for her.
What challenges if any have you had in your community?
We live in South Minneapolis. I think that there is “moving through
your everydays” where Rocky is butch, gender nonconforming - there is a
sense of expectation around stares and comments that end up happening.
We don’t think it about it, it’s what happens. But within the bigger tension
or struggle, there haven’t been major challenges here. The struggle Luca
was facing at school was about her, and her self fitting in, and what it
12 www.colage.org | colage@colage.org | 415-861-5437
11 Subscribe to COLAGE NetNews so you can always be up to
date on National COLAGE happenings, news about LGBT
families, and events in your community.!
12 Nominate a COLAGEr in your life to be on our list “20
rockin’ Queerspawn speak out! An Introduction to
COLAGErs you may not know about (yet)  but you should!”
For details on how to nominate a COLAGEr check out the ad
in this issue of JFU!
13 Tell someone in your life about COLAGE! Research has shown
that when we share our stories people are more likely to vote in
favor of LGBTQ equality.
14 Help someone you don’t know. Volunteer for a day. Welcome
someone who is new at your school. Help make our community
feel a bit smaller and kinder.
15 Pay attention to the media! When you see articles or shows that
misrepresent our family or issues that you care about, make
your voice heard! Write a letter to the editor, television station
director, or your local, state and federal representative.
16 M
 arch in a Pride Parade. Paint your face and start up a cheer
of “2-4-6-8 LGBTQ families are really great!”
17 Reach out to your local LGBTQ Center or PFLAG group and
let them know about COLAGE. You can even see if they might
want to co-host an event with you to celebrate families in your
community.
18 Head outdoors! Explore your community with your family by
heading outdoors for a nature (or even an urban) hike. Find
some new favorite places where you can create memories this
year.
19 Become a facilitator at a COLAGE One-day event or at our
Family Week event. Email info@colage.org to learn more.
20 Come up with your own way to celebrate COLAGE and share
it with us! We’d love to hear your ideas or see  photos of how
you celebrate YOU and your family! 
meant to be there. My understanding from Luca is that her experience at
school was not outright threats or intensity.
One of the things we talk about here a lot, that there are all different
kinds of families, we talk about the ways in which we don’t struggle. We
talk an awful lot about white privilege and supremacy. We are a part of
a group called White Noise - working through white supremacy - one of
the things we do within that is, and we try to spend a lot of time talking
about our privileges. The more we talk to our children about white
supremacy and privilege the better. Luca has been paying attention to
white supremacy, it’s a part of her “normal” from early on. She’s teaching
us about it now because perhaps our patterns are a little more entrenched.
Are you excited that COLAGE is about to distribute a resource guide
for children born through Donor Insemination.
I think it will be a really important resource. It’s the most attended
workshop topic at Rainbow Families. By the time we tried to get pregnant
we had friends who had tried. Luca’s donors are good friends of ours. Even
with all the information we had, we still went to workshops and looked at
books. I feel like you just can’t get enough information about it.
G r ow i n g U p w i t h CO L AG E :
A 2 0 t h A n n i v e r s a r y T r i bu t e
I
was born into the fabulous world of gay men, LGBTQ non profit
board meetings, and Pride marches. I learned to read (and dance)
through a careful study of Madonna’s True Blue, and discovered the
trials and triumphs of radical activism amidst the hateful jeers of Fred
Phelps and his followers. As the daughter of a gay man and a straight
woman who separated when I was only six months old, I was faced with
the grotesque reality in preschool that some children, unfortunately have
NO queer parents. How do they survive? I felt comfortable, privileged,
and special growing up, often the only person under thirty and the
only female in the room. Much of my childhood identity was wrapped
up in the identity of my father and the queer-activist communities we
surrounded ourselves with. As I grew older, and my search for an adult
identity began, I struggled with how and where the queerness that had
raised me would fit in.
I attended my first Family Week in Provincetown, MA when I was
twelve years old. At Family Week, COLAGE introduced me for the first
time to dozens of other children with queer parents, and I was immediately
struck by the similarities of our family experiences. I found another twelve-
year-old girl with two dads, and we were instantly connected at the hip.
The bond we shared had deeper roots than your typical pre-teen summer
camp “BFF-fling,” and even now, I feel a connection to her that cannot
be separated by distance or the time passed since our last meeting. Even
at twelve, I understood the significance of my new-found community in
COLAGE. I was in awe with the level of genuine understanding, love, and
support the COLAGE community shared for one another.
Summer after summer, I returned to COLAGE at Family Week, happy
to see familiar faces, and eager to welcome new-comers to our growing
family of queerspawn. It was during these first summers that I learned
how to articulate my voice as a distinct part of the LGBTQ community.
spea k out
Tell us a little about your family.
My family consists of me, my two mothers and my older brother.
When do you first hear of COLAGE?
I first heard of COLAGE through my moms, but I was really
introduced to COLAGE when we attended the Rainbow Families
New Jersey conference at Montclair State.
Do you remember when you first met other people
with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer
parent?
I first met other people with LGBTQ parents when
I was six, and began to attend MCC Christ the
Liberator. I spent the majority of my time around
younger kids with LGBTQ parents and not too
many around my own age.
Why do you think COLAGE is important?
COLAGE is very important to me. As a child with
Check out the COLAGE Kids of Trans Program - www.colage.org/programs/trans/
By christine Bachman
COLAGE provided me
with the vocabulary I
needed to define my
identity, and taught me how
to nurture and express my
passion for social justice.
My queerness emerged
as something influenced
by, yet separate from, my
father’s. Queerness for me
was not only about sexual
identity—it relates to all facets of my life, an all-encompassing definition
that allies me with radical politics and the drive to transcend limiting
binaries and normative structures. COLAGE and its diverse community
continually opens my mind to a world of possibilities, shaped by a common
experience of queerness, and then expanded to include any number of
issues, ideas, and communities bound together by a commitment to social
justice.
Since my days as a youth participant, I have had the pleasure of
serving on COLAGE’s National Board of Directors, and working as
volunteer staff at Family Week. In each of these roles, I hope to give
back to a community that has shaped much of who I am today, and has
continued to challenge and support me in my continued growth more
than any other organization, institution, or community.
So, to COLAGE on its 20th Birthday, thank you! Thank you for
providing me and others with queer parents a space to explore our own,
ever-changing identities, and allowing us to find our own voices with
which to make change. You have inspired me to embrace difference and
approach the world with openness.
Dana, age 16.  Carteret, NJ. 
2 moms, it’s a place where you don’t have to explain your family
and you can leave behind the “whats?” and the “I don’t get
its”.   Everybody understands what you’ve been going through
and there is nobody there to judge you.
What do you like most about Rainbow Families?
I like the fact that I meet different people and different types
of families.
What issues are important to you?
The issue that is most important to me is discrimination. I know
you cannot change how people feel or how they were raised, but
you can educate them. If more people took the time to learn
about so they could accept LGBTQ families then maybe we
would not have to fight so hard for equality. Why anyone has
to fight for natural rights is beyond me. Opening your heart
and mind is the first step in a multitude of achievements for the
LGBTQ community.
13
 CO L AG E
n ot e s
Thank You Meredith! Countless COLAGErs and community members
Farewell Monica

O M
have been benefited greatly from Meredith's
n December 17th COLAGE celebrated enthusiasm, creativity, and talent. onica Canfield-Lenfest has been a
Program Director Meredith Fenton in COLAGE congratulates Meredith on her new longtime, tremendously talented and
style! From a staff dance and skit, position as the Directorof Communication Strategies visionary leader in the COLAGE
to delicious eats, to toasts galore; members at the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights. community. This August she will leave the
of the community showed their appreciation COLAGE staff to begin a new journey. We
thank Monica for all her years of reliable,
for theincredible dedication and energy that Chiah Rules patient, and powerful work as a Family Week

Meredith demonstrated during her 7 years as
National Program Director. Meredith has been
an outstanding advocate for people with lesbian,
gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer parents.
During her years on COLAGE staff, Meredith
helped COLAGE grow into the vibrant national
youth-driven network that COLAGE is today.
C
hiah Connolly-Ingram interned with
COLAGE from September 2009
through May 2010. A Bay Area native,
Chiah grew up in San Francisco with two moms
and two uncles. COLAGE was fortunate to host
Chiah as a part-time Fall Intern and a full-time
Spring Intern. While interning at COLAGE,
Chiah was a facilitator for our Speak Out Camp
in Atlanta, Georgia, and was very involved in
Bay Area programs. Chiah worked closely with
filmmaker Jen Gilomen (producer/director of
In My Shoes: Stories of Youth with LGBT
Parent) to create digital archives of COLAGE’s
20-year history, resulting in Family Time – a
documentary and digital timeline outlining the
history of the LGBT family movement. Chiah
will continue her studies as a film major at San
Francisco State University this fall.
facilitator and coordinator, chapter leader, —in
both Boston and the Bay Area— and Kids of
Trans program coordinator. She has led the
way in transforming conversations in the
trans community, particularly in transgender
parented families. She markedly improved
the landscape of resources and community
for people with transgender parents, their
parents and professionals who work with
them. Monica helped COLAGE make history
when we published the Kids of Trans guide.
She has also revitalized the Massachusetts and
California COLAGE Chapters empowering
families in both states which have seen some of
the most rigorous political attacks against our
families in the past decade. Please join us in
wishing Monica luck in her future endeavors,
we know she'll continue to be successful and
make positive change in the world!

Coming of Age, continued from page 3

This past fall, in an effort to reach out to build community with other DI COLAGErs, I
helped launch the COLAGE ART Project, an effort to highlight the experiences of COLAGErs
born through assisted reproductive technologies. As the first major program of this new initiative,
COALGE conducted a national assessment of DI COLAGErs and their families, which included
surveys, interviews, and focus groups. The culmination of these efforts has been the creation of the
COALGE DI Guide, a resource book for DI COLAGErs and their families. This comprehensive
publication for the first time captures the experiences of DI COLAGErs and uses their testimonials
as a tool to provide advice to the next generation as well as for parents and for prospective parents.
Through this new resource, DI COLAGErs will be able to understand that many of their peers have
experienced similar situations in their lives. The guide covers such topics as the relationships (or lack
of relationships) people have with donors and discussing insemination with peers.  In addition to
having sections for current and prospective parents, the guide also has a legal resource guide for DI
COLAGErs assembled by the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
As COLAGE volunteers and staff can attest, a significant and growing percentage of COLAGE
youth were born though donor insemination or other assisted reproductive technologies. With any
luck, over the next twenty years as COLAGE looks toward middle age, these youth will be able
to gain the wisdom of the generation that came before and be more prepared for the sometimes-
challenging experience of growing up in a world that does not always accept our families or the
way they were created.

14
www.colage.org | colage@colage.org | 415-861-5437

COLAGE 20th
Anniversary
Celebrations
Beth Teper, Executive Director, stands with the
honorees at our 20th Anniversary Celebration
held in San Francisco this June. From left: The
Hornorable James C. Hormel (the first openly
gay U.S. Ambassador), Marina Gatto (youth
activist), and Kate Kendell (Executive Director
of National Center for Lesbian Rights).
Join us in Washington, D.C. on Sunday, October
10, 2010 from 2:00 - 5:00pm at the Mansion on
O Street, 2020 O Street Northwest, for our
East Cast 20th Anniversary Celebration!
Look for more stories and photos from our 20th
Anniversary events online at www.colage.org
and in the upcoming issue of Just For Us!
www.colage.org | colage@colage.org | 415-861-KIDS (5437)
CO L AG E
n ot e s
Welcome New co-chair of the board Fundraising Committee.
Board Members COLAGE Welcomes
Alexis Collins, 16, NY
summer Interns
C
Alexis is an
OLAGE is proud to announce the
independent, Bi-Racial,
arrival of three new, fantastic summer
high school junior,
interns: Jamie K. Evans, Emily
currently residing in
McGranachan, and Matthew Guererro. Jamie
up-state New York. The
was born through donor insemination to her
product of a heterosexual
"many lesbian mothers," and is now the eldest
relationship, Alexis was
of three siblings. This, her second internship
raised by two mothers
with COLAGE, will focus on planning P-town
and currently lives
with her biological
mom. She is involved
in multiple community
service activities and
enjoys traveling. After six years of involvement
with COLAGE, she is interested and devoted
to pursuing a career in or related to child
psychology. Alexis joined the COLAGE Board
in October 2010 and is a member of the board
Finance Committee.
Paul Perry, 24, Berkeley, CA
Paul grew up outside
Philadelphia, PA with
his father, his father’s
partner and his aunt Family Week. Emily was also born through
Dot. Paul is a graduate donor insemination, and contributed to the
student at UC Berkeley Donor Insemination guide. One of her duties
where he is working on a at COLAGE will be to distribute the guide.
master’s of Public Policy. She is a student at Mount Holyoke College in
Paul attended American Massachusetts. Matthew is a student at U.C.
University in Washington, Santa Cruz majoring in Legal Studies. His
DC. There, he had the internship will focus on communications and
opportunity to work in the U.S. Senate, the planning events. You can read more about our
NAACP, Center for American Progress as well new summer interns at www.colage.org!
as with low-income youth in Southeast DC Visit www.colage.org to download and
through a nonprofit called FLY. He is proud application for our fall internship!
to have had the opportunity to live and work
abroad in Africa, South America and Europe.
Paul joined the COLAGE Board in October
2010 and is looking forward to helping the
organization fulfill its mission. Paul serves as the
15
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