Change Your Life in 30 Days

By R.Britten

Day 1: A New Beginning

Day one sets the pace for making changes in one's self. Here, the path to
change involves knowing that life's dreams can be fulfilled. Whether it's an
intangible dream or something concrete, people can have it all by being true
to themselves.

How does a person seeking change know that he or she is being true to
themselves? By answering yes to the following questions:

• Are you willing to put personal integrity above a promise to another?

• Are you willing to listen to your heart while using your head?
• Are you willing to quit lying to yourself in order to start loving
yourself?
• Are you willing to be authentic even if it means being vulnerable?
• Are you willing to invest in the life you have to get the life you want?

The first step to change is defining the change you want in your life. This
would mean defining success or any other changes that you want but by
being true to yourself. In order to practice being true to yourself, a person
has to answer the following questions before moving on to Day 2:

• How would being true to yourself change your life?

• If you are true to yourself, what are you afraid might happen?
• What has stopped you before from becoming the best you possible?
• Describe the you that you would like to be in 30 days.
• What is one thing that you are willing to do today to be more true to
yourself?

On the first day, a person has to dig deeper inside to gain answers. This is
made easier with the guide questions. However, there are four points that a
person has to remember in order to set the right pace in making changes:

• Defining a word helps to clarify what you believe.

• Being specific with an answer accelerates growth.
• Wanting a better life is really a desire to be more true to yourself.
• Telling the truth is an important part of discovering who you are.
Day 2: Give Credit Where Credit is Due

In Day 2, a person is guided to acknowledge himself, giving credit for what

he has done in the past. This technique helps the person build his confidence
level. To do this however, he or she has to acknowledge what kind of filter
system he or she has when dealing with information.

People deal with information in different ways and Britten shows the
different filters that people use:

"Rhonda doesn't know me" is a filter that really says "no one really knows
the real me."

 A person with this kind of filter finds intimacy and trust in people too
difficult to gain.
 "I haven't done enough" is a filter used by people who are
perfectionist in nature. These kinds of people are workaholics and
have little or no time to take care of themselves.
• "Thank God somebody finally understands me" is a filter for people
who are afraid of not being seen and seek validation in other people.
• "I wish" is a filter similar to "I know me better than you do" wherein
you find it difficult to take credit.
• "If I'm doing better than I think I am, why don't I feel better?" relies
mostly on feelings and not on logic.
• "I am!" is a filter for people who doubt themselves a lot and question
compliments from people.
• People who say "Thank you" when given a compliment have high self
esteem and are gracious regardless of what compliment is given.
• "Don't tell me that! I won't stay motivated" is for people who try to fix
themselves but beat themselves in the process. Negative thoughts
occupy their minds and suffering and struggling are familiar feelings.
• "You bet I am. I've worked hard" is for people with a healthy dose of
self confidence and give one's self credit where it is due.
By identifying which filter a person is using, he or she can avoid pitfalls in
making changes. To build up confidence, a person has to acknowledge and
accept some of the things that he or she has done in the past.

The accomplishments that were successful are a short pat on the back which
builds up more self confidence. But by acknowledging more than 50
accomplishments, a person can really change his or her outlook. Thus
writing these accomplishments is important. Acknowledging them is also
being true to one's self.

Day 3: Building Your Confidence Muscle

Day 3 has the person define his or her confidence. An extension of Day 2,
confidence building involves recalling times, by writing it down, when a
person in a given situation was confident in his or her life.

When that happens, the person then uses those moments as stepping stones
in doing things differently. Day 3 also has the person identifying moments
when he or she was not confident in his or her life.

How does a person know that his or her confidence is growing? Britten
offers five clues:

• You can count on yourself. You do what you say and you get the job
done.
• You are willing to feel your feelings and take a risk anyway. No
matter how scary things get, you always remember that feelings do
not determine success, risk does!
• Facing your fears is a daily experience. See fear for what it is: an
affirmation of your growth.
• You have learned to be comfortable in the uncomfortableness of
change. You put your negative voice in perspective and realize it does
not run your life.
• You are willing to give up all you know to discover your true you.
Day 4: Purpose and Passion

In Day 4, making changes can only happen if a person has purpose and
passion in life. Writing down what a person loves in life helps define a
person's purpose in life and using passion in creating a better life. This is
what is called passionate purpose. A person can define this by answering
four questions:

• What is your purpose?

• Name three lessons you can learn from your present living situation
• Name three lessons you can learn from your present job
• Name three lessons you can learn from your present relationships

Passion and purpose can be integrated into a person's life. As Britten points
out, all a person has to remember are:

• Your purpose is already within you

• Passion gives you the desire to succeed
• Passion without purpose can be perceived as being unfocused and
confused
• Purpose without passion can make life feel like a chore

Day 5: Affirmations, Intentions and Goals

Day 5 shows how a person can use affirmations as a powerful tool in

introducing changes in his or her life. Affirmations combined with intentions
and broken into goals can produce powerful results. Especially when a
person keeps on saying it everyday.

Day 6: Stretch, Risk or Die

Day 6 shows how a person can remove negative habits or thoughts from his
or her life. By showing a person how to move on from their comfort zone,
stretching, risking and dying, changes can be introduced in any area of one's
life. Britten suggests listing five things that a person has to stretch, take a
risk or actions that a person feels like part of him or her is dying. When this
process is done, changes are now possible because part of the old self is now
gone to be replaced by change.
Day 7: Are You Making It Up or Is It True?

A person in order to be true to himself or herself has to face the truth. That is
instead of blaming or making up excuses, he or she has to examine the
whole truth in any event in their lives. These questions help a person focus
on being true to themselves:

• Are you making it up or is it true? It keeps you honest and open with
others.
• When you make things up, you are afraid to become vulnerable and
therefore intimate.
• See the situation "as is," take your perceptions out and focus on the
facts.
• Facing what and when you make things up will help you to heal.

Day 8: The Freedom of Discipline

In Day 8, the words disciplined freedom is defined as working in a

disciplined manner and taking responsibility for one's work. While both
words (freedom and discipline) have different meanings, here, Britten points
out that both words can be used in life as a means of being true.

Examples are taking on projects that can realistically be finished on time or

working on something that a person enjoys but exerts discipline in
responsibility. Enjoying work but in disciplined manner helps a person
succeed in life.

Day 9: Shine Your Light

Shining one's light actually is a form of acknowledgment for the wonderful

things that a person has accomplished. Shining or giving compliments or
given compliments helps a person boost his or her self esteem. Knowing
when to shine or to give shining compliments is a choice that a person can
make.

Instead of waiting for others to compliment you, you should take action by
sharing the good news with others. Good news can be an accomplishment or
a success story that serves as a pat on the back which can help a person rise
and form as part of his or her success. Shining moments can be empowering
since it helps a person gain self confidence.
Day 10: Integration

Day ten is a day that a person has to examine his or her accomplishments.
Integrating all the past exercise on this day is important as it helps a person
gauge whether changes have been made. By rating himself honestly, a
person can get a clear picture where he or she stands. An important and
wonderful exercise is writing to one's self a letter of gratitude. This letter
helps a person accept his or her accomplishments regardless of the results.

Day 11: Regrets

At this stage, a person has to examine core needs, an expanded version of

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. By doing so, a person can identify what he or
she really needs in order to be fulfilled, happy or satisfied with life.

By examining these needs, regrets from the past can be put to rest and a
person can move forward with the changes in life. By honoring one's core
need, the healing process can start just by naming five actions that a person
has to do in order to put the issue to rest.

Day 12: Ask for What You Want

In Day 12, knowing what we want by separating feelings and thoughts is one
way of introducing change in our lives. By knowing what we fear or what is
holding us back, we can really ask the world for what we want.

It involves risk but that is part of the process. By confronting our fears and
emotions and by defining what we really want, we can get it and still remain
true to ourselves. Writing down what we have accomplished builds also
better confidence.
Day 13: The Power of Words

Words like actions can empower a person. However, when a person uses
disempowering words, his or her life remain stuck in a cycle of negativism.
It is true, we are what we think. So when a person says "it's hard," life or any
activity becomes really hard for him.

By identifying phrases or words that can be disempowering, a person can

move on with a better life. The key to this is identifying and removing these
negative words and phrases and replacing them with positive phrases or
words.

Day 14: Liar, Liar

As part of being true to oneself, a person has to change the habit of lying in
situations. If a person stops lying and instead tells the truth, then change can
happen because a person's life is not hidden with lies but is open to change.

A person who wants to change has to acknowledge some situations where he

or she has to make up a white lie and form an affirmation that he or she will
not lie anymore. This is an important step because a person's life is normally
imbued with integrity.

Day 15: Trusting Heart

Trust is an important element in change. Here a person has to learn how to

trust himself in the things that he or she does. This also requires that a
person has to learn to trust other people specially those close to his or her
heart. Without trust, peace of mind is not possible and a person will always
doubt himself or others. The most important person to trust is one's self to
begin with.

Day 16: The Myth of Balance

The Myth of Balance is that people believe that they can have it all. The
truth is that they create stress in having it all. We all live in an information
age where we are bombarded daily with different information wanting
attention. Jobs are becoming stressful simply because of information
overload. What makes it stressful is that a person only has 24 hours in a day
to live through it.

In Day 16, Britten guides the reader in knowing what really matters most
and making commitments. This may be a relationship or relationships, a job,
a hobby or simply finding one's self. What is important is knowing what
matters most. By simplifying, a person creates balance in his or her life.
Knowing where to start is important so a person has to live by commitments.
Creating a life log helps a person realize this.

Day 17: Excuses

The exercise for releasing excuses in one's life involve writing down the top
three excuses that a person has been making all his or her life. By
acknowledging these excuses and removing them, a person can move on and
make changes in life.

This exercise is also a way of becoming truer to one's self. By giving up

excuses and instead moving on to be a positive person, change can happen
tremendously as it releases the burden of excuses.

Day 18: Intuition

Intuition is an important gift that a person can use to make judgement calls.
While there is no scientific explanation for how intuition works, Britten
believes that intuition can guide a person in life.

The basis is faith in oneself. The difference between fear and intuition is that
an inner voice can tell a person, in a calm manner, to go on with the
decision. A person feels empowered, secure, enlightened when he or she
listens to intuition.

On the other hand, fear holds a back a person because of past experience in
failure and risk. Listening to intuition when making decisions is a good habit
to practice since it can bring change in the process.
Day 19: Forgiveness

Hurt is a powerful burden that a person can carry all through out his or her
life. In order to relieve one's self of this burden, a person has to be willing to
forgive and let go. By identifying the hurts that a person has faced in the past
and knowing the source of hurt, a person then has to take the first step in
forgiving. Whether it's forgiving one's self or others, what is important is
letting go of the burden.

Day 20: Momentum

Day 20 is another milestone that the reader has to take time to examine. The
lessons learned or changes that happened during the past 20 Days serve as a
reality check for the reader.

Taking time to answer some questions will reveal whether the reader has
made changes in his or her life. The important thing for the past 20 days is
not to lose momentum but to keep on going and practicing the lessons
learned for the past 20 days. Integrating these lessons into habits is
important as they can make a difference in life.

Day 21: Luck, Fate and Destiny

When bad or good things happen to people, they usually blame it on luck,
fate or destiny. However, by taking a proactive approach in life, people can
really make changes just by identifying things that they can control and can't
control.

By doing this exercise, people can now be realistic instead of just blaming
things on luck, fate or destiny. The differences among the three is that with
luck a person is just waiting for things to happen; with fate things happens to
a person; and with destiny a person is already preordained in life. By
defining life's purpose and knowing what he or she can control, changes can
happen.

Day 22: The Gift of Rejection

Learning how to accept rejections is an important factor in the change
process. This is because rejection keeps a person frozen with fear and
humiliation. In the process, he or she does not move forward. By knowing
how to deal with rejection, a person can really move forward and still make
changes in his or her life. By overcoming fear, rejection can easily be
conquered.

Day 23: For or Against

For or against are mindsets that a person uses as a filter in seeing how the
world behaves. For means the world is "for you" while against is the
opposite. To overcome these two mindsets, a person has to learn how to be
grateful for any situation he or she encounters. Being grateful is the first step
in doing away with a negative, jaded outlook. It helps a person focus on a
better perspective at making his or her day better.

Day 24: What's Love Got To Do With It?

Loving one's self is an important step in introducing change in ourselves.

Loving is important because it gives a person self-worth. A person who
hates his or her self cannot go on living and loving another person.

This is because if a person cannot love even his or her self, what is his or her
capacity to do so in another person? In this chapter, the affirmation is to love
oneself selflessly and to practice this, Britten offers 50 ways of doing so.

Day 25: Forget Motivation

Instead of motivation which is a short-term solution in making people take

action, Britten offers contentment instead. The connection again between
these two is explained.

Motivation happens when a person faces fear of losing or being branded as a

loser. Thus a person forces his or herself to work more, putting more
pressure in their lives.
Contentment however is the opposite. When a person is content with his or
her life, change can still happen but a person is confident about it without
putting pressure on his or her life. Internal satisfaction is important if we
want to be true to ourselves.

Day 26: Never Confront Again

In this chapter, Britten proposes clarifying issues when dealing with

situations involving people. The underlying principle is that no two people
are alike and when they do not meet half way, misunderstanding happens
and confrontations occur.

By clarifying issues before they go out of hand, a person can avoid

confrontations and accomplish what needs to be done instead. By clarifying,
rejections too can be avoided painlessly. The most important exercise
however is clarifying the issues that a person has avoided in life. This will
not only bring change in life but in love as well.

Day 27: Redefining You

In this chapter, a person is asked if there have been any significant changes
in his or her life. That is because at this point, some changes must have
already happened.

Three areas are very important at this point: home, relationships and love.
These three are key anchors in life and if changes have happened to the
person on day 27, then changes too should have happened in those three
areas too. Honoring one's self through growth is an important ritual at this
stage. To go through this, one has to write down 5 acknowledgements for
shifts and changes in life.
Day 28: Beautiful You

Embracing beauty is a part of making a person's life beautiful. Britten offers

three simple exercises that a person can use to introduce beauty in their
lives: smiling, reading the daily newspaper and asking questions.

Beauty does not have to be physical but it should go deeper. Practicing

excellence helps a person create beauty in life by being passionate. The
results in being passionate can be beautiful. Taking time each day to identify
beautiful moments is a good exercise in reminding one's self of the
importance of beauty.

Day 29: Heaven

Day 29 is a milestone for a person. This is the day when a person has
transformed his or herself. This day is compared to being in heaven.

Heaven on earth for being able to bring wonderful changes into one's life. To
fully become a changed person, one has to undergo one last exercise by
writing a commitment letter. This is a tool of affirming the changes that one
has made during the past 29 days.

This step is not the final step but serves as a stepping stone for refining for
the rest of the person's life. This letter when reviewed every year helps a
person put life in perspective since change is a continuous process. It is an
important step, committing to change for a person to grow with a better life.

Day 30: Let Me Introduce Your to Yourself

The last day summarizes the past 29 days that a person has undergone. In
this chapter, Britten helps the person review what has happened in the past
29 days by guiding the reader through a set of questions.

The reader is then asked how he or she feels about undergoing change. The
main point in all this is that the person should have overcome his or her fears
so that change can happen and that the person can be true to one's self in the
process. Congratulations are in order for going through change in 30 days.