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Like an unlatched gate freely swinging in the yard, the southern border of the United States has

been left open, leaving the entire front yard of the nation susceptible to the realities of disease,
violence, and economic ruin. Walking in almost freely through our great country's backdoor,
Mexican illegal immigrants have infiltrated the U.S. in the millions, and in their teeming masses
have done horrors to the likes of true native and naturalized citizens. On their backs they carry
millions of pounds of cocaine each year, and, once settled within our communities, their gangs
and criminals perpetrate a large percentage of murders, thefts, robberies, and other crimes,
creating an unparalleled threat to our children. Throughout the nation, taxpaying Americans are
unemployed and live in the most abject poverty, while each year hundreds of thousands of
undocumented aliens join the millions of others who have come to America to steal jobs from
those who deserve them and live off the fat of other people's work. Millions of dollars of
taxpayers' money goes to providing health care and education to these pests. Leaving the under-
developed and wretched country of Mexico, they sneak into our land, bringing with them
myriads of diseases like Malaria, Tuberculosis, Leprosy, and HIV. One must only recall the few
killed and many sickened by Hepatitis A, in 2003, after eating at a Chi-Chi's Mexican restaurant
in Pennsylvania to realize how real these threats are.

For this problem I see only one solution which can save this glorious nation from destruction at
the hands of these malicious creatures. Due to its burgeoning labor force of over forty-eight
million, largely unexploited natural resources, and vastly inferior military power, Mexico lies
like an unpolished diamond in the dirt, just waiting to be picked up. By allowing the United
States to more strictly control the region and to properly utilize the land and people, as only a
developed nation like ours can do, the conquest of The United Mexican States, and subsequent
enslavement of the Mexican people, is the only viable option to eliminate the disastrous effects
of illegal immigration across the U.S.-Mexican border while also providing our nation with an
incredible source of prosperity.

With nearly twenty times more personnel than the Mexican military's two hundred thousand
soldiers and significantly more advanced technology and equipment, the U.S. armed forces
would have minimal difficulties securing control of the country. Strategic bombings in areas of
high population density, such as Mexico City and Guadalajara, would help bring the occupied
territory's population down to a more manageable size. From there, the prisoners would be
conveniently consolidated into large towns to work compulsorily for no pay. These militarily
controlled working cities would be isolated from the rest of the United States, in order to
minimize the risk of escape as well as to restrict the cultural interaction of our country's citizens
with the prisoners. Only slight legislative changes would have to be made in order to ensure the
legality of this plan, including the repeal of the Thirteen Amendment, which bans slavery, and
the annulment of the clause of the Fourteenth Amendment that gives all people born in the U.S.
equal citizenship. Such small changes would easily be passed without objection.

The first and most obvious benefit of this plan is the elimination of the nearly two thousand mile
border between the U.S. and Mexico. No longer would any guards be needed to patrol this long
stretch of land. This leaves more troops free to take part in more productive activities like
warring against enemy nations, such as Afghanistan. In place of this border, our new southern
line would be 561 miles bordering Guatemala and 155 miles along Belize. With a much shorter
southern border, no more malevolent aliens could gain access into our country illegally by
evading the Border Patrol.

Next, the superior control of the military over the Mexican people would be highly beneficial.
Applying the fair and systematic techniques the army has been known to use when dealing with
prisoners of war and detainees, the workers could be easily kept working at their most efficient
state. Drug production and dealing would easily be taken over by the government, in which case
the quality of the drugs would be vastly improved, their distribution wider, and resulting profits
significantly higher, providing even more capital for our government. Any diseases could be kept
from detracting from the productivity of the laborers by simply euthanizing any who are sick.
Many illnesses would be effectively eradicated and the American citizens would be saved from
any pandemics, like those brought in by illegal immigrants.

Thirdly, although it may seem like the introduction of a gigantic mass of free labor would further
deprive Americans of their jobs—a justifiable worry, since Bear Stearns, a firm world renowned
for good accounting, estimated, in a 2005 report, that illegal immigrants hold over eight percent
of all available jobs in America—it would actually increase the overall standard of living and
guarantee every U.S. citizen a higher paying, non-labor intensive occupation. This is because our
economy would skyrocket at an unprecedented rate as the country's manufacturing base would
be reignited. Companies would grow and new factories would be built, resulting in the
availability of a plethora of managerial and office jobs. Products would be cheaper to produce
here than they would be in China or Indonesia, where workers still demand nominal pay. It is
clear that most American businesses would embraces this labor source as many, like
Agriprocessors, have already began to hire these Mexicans for a pittance. Additionally, the
$12,000,000 illegal aliens currently send off to their families in Mexico each year would remain
in the country, providing even more capital for economic development.

Currently, due to the inefficiencies of its government, large amounts of Mexico's natural
resources remain untapped. Nearly a quarter of the land area is forests. Millions of acres of trees
remain standing that could otherwise be swiftly cut down and sold for timber. Other resources
like petroleum and precious metals, such as gold and silver, also remain in the ground. Through
the direct investment of American capital, this land can easily be overturned, supplying many
new sources of income and saving our country the billions of dollars that otherwise would have
needed to be invested in alternative energy.

Clearly, this proposal is immeasurably more effective than any of the other so-called-solutions,
which, because of their unworkable natures, should not even be considered. Measures like more
strictly enforcing the laws against hiring illegal immigrants, requiring proof of legal residence in
order to receive public education, and deporting known illegal immigrants fail to take full
advantage of this otherwise terrible situation. Simple increases in the number of patrols at the
current border and greater use of technologies like infrared sensors could never be enough to
guard the entire border. The most foolish of all is the suggestion that we actually negotiate with
the Mexican government to either make it easy for Mexicans to legally enter the country on
migrant workers visas or encourage American businesses to build factories and plants on
Mexican soil. It is quite fortunate I devised this plan, such as there is no longer a threat that one
of these useless sets of tactics will be attempted.
By taking over Mexico and enslaving the native people, not only would the current detrimental
effects of illegal immigrants coming into our country be removed, innumerable profits would be
made. However, if by some chance one of the intelligent and thoughtful men who sit upon
Capitol Hill proposes some solution better than mine, I would be glad to support it. Nevertheless,
unless there is some better way to protect our nation from the harmful effects of undocumented
aliens on the national economy, health, and safety, I see no choice but to forcibly convert the
entire Mexican people into a productive body to be expended at the benefit of our nation. Other
than my desire to see all future calamities averted and my nation prosper, I have no personal
interest in this issue. Being a native-born American and not of Latin American descent, and
having no personal relationships with illegal immigrants, I shall not be considered biased toward
the Mexicans who contrive to cross our border unlawfully; if this plan seems to favor these
illegitimates in any way it is because of the economic advantages of such actions.