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Lauren Danner 

Professor Graue 

COM 2206 

22 July 2020 

Diverse options and conflict management 

There are many different encounters we as humans have throughout our daily

lives. Whether it be with another human being or an animal. Most of the time humans are using

different conflict management skills we have learned in our lives to get through

our everyday lives. The Defensive climate behaviors humans know are ones that most personally

use daily. When people have an interaction with someone you need to make sure you control

your outcome by using the correct verbal and nonverbal communication.  

We as humans usually want to have a positive interaction with someone but sometimes

people are just having an awful day. Humans emotions get the best of them and people just say

things that would not have normally been said otherwise. Then there are only plain mean and

only care about themselves. People like me like to think the world is full more of the people who

are just having bad days and going through things we have no idea about.  

For this specific encounter between the receptionist and someone else, the conflict

management strategy the receptionist used was competition. The book defines this as “a win-lose

approach to a conflict that involves high concern for self and low concern for others.” (Alder

p.330)  The receptionist thinks that it is ok for her to get an attitude and brush off the customer as

if she doesn’t matter and, as if her way is right and no other way is. She does not seem willing to

seek out an outcome that will benefit both parties. She thinks she is perfectly fine being rude to

the customer and will have no repercussions for this.  

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Gibbs supportive and defensive climate behavior that is identified in this exchange is

control. The video we watched with the Dr.Zakel explains that it is like someone putting a thumb

on you and them deciding how the event and/or exchange is going to go. You have no say

whatsoever in the outcome. (YouTube Dr.Zakel) You are just a participant and will either deal

with a nice or rude person. In this case it was an exchange and the customer got the rude person. 

The best supportive behavior in my option would be problem orientation” communicators

focus on finding a solution that satisfies both their own needs and those of others involved. The

goal isn’t to win at the expense of your partner but find an arrangement which everyone feels

like a winner.” (Alder 2018) Not only is it shown as the opposite of control, but this would have

the best outcome for both parties. You are both working together towards a common goal. This is

more a win-win solution instead of a win-lose which never works out in anyone’s favor. You

always regret acting that way towards someone whether it be the next day or year. 

If I were to rewrite the script it would be as follows 

You: Hello, I was wondering if you had an estimate on when my car was going to be

ready? I was told it would be ready an hour ago. 

Receptionist: I am sorry about that mam, let me check and see if the mechanics have an

estimate on how much longer it is going to be. 

You: Thank you! I appreciate your time. I still must go back to work today and want to

let them know when to expect me. 

Receptionist: You’re welcome, it may be a minute before I have an answer, we

are terribly busy right now. 

Verbally the receptionist could have used convergence” the process of adapting one’s

speech style to match that of others with whom one wants to identify.” ( Dragojevic et al., 2016)
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(Adler p. 142) to adapt to the speech style of the customer. She could have not used such

powerful language” direct and forceful word choices, with declarations and assertions.”(Alder

p.143) I think more than anything she should have used politeness” communicating in ways that

save face for both senders and receivers. Politeness is valued in some cultures more than others.”

(Alder p.144) especially working in customer service. It would have saved face. Nonverbal

regulators” cues that help control verbal interaction.” (Alder p. 173)  would have helped because

they are cues that help to control verbal interaction. The receptionist could have smiled at the

customer and made eye contact to show she is interested in the conversation and cares. Her

paralanguage “ to describe the way a message is spoke, not so much about what you say, but

how you say it.” (Alder p. 182) could have helped by her adjusting her tone when speaking to the

customer. 

Overall, I believe that the receptionist was having a bad day. She was probably stressed

out due to being overwhelmed at work and being so busy, I’m sure she had deal with a lot of

mean customers and probably assumed this one was going to be the same way toward her. I have

been in this position and then had to apologize for actin this way. She decided to take it out on

her customer and in real life that could have major backlash and possibly get her fired or at the

least written up. Making sure you are using the right verbal cues such as convergence, powerful

language and politeness, and nonverbal cues such as regulators, and paralanguage as listed in the

last paragraph would certainly help to make the exchange go much better. If things are really that

bad, then the company needs to let their customers know that it is going to be longer than

anticipated so they can plan accordingly. It is not realistic for someone to take a whole day for

their car to get repaired and just sit at the shop all day.  

 
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Works Cited 

Adler, Ronald B., et al. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication. 9th ed., Oxford

University Press, 2019. 

Zakeal, L. Gibbs Supportive and Defensive Claims, Youtube.com,

June 27, 2011. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cclq48QZT_c