Perspective: “What are we trying to accomplish here?

“What are we trying to accomplish here?”

This is a favorite question of a former colleague of mine that has really impacted the way I look at not
only my coaching, whether it is for a single team or directing a club, but making life choices.  I’d
encourage all parents to consider this question when signing up their child for youth sports, and ask that
all coaches ponder it before volunteering their time.  There are very few instances when it’s time to
make an important decision that pausing to reflect upon it isn’t helpful.

Players generally arrive at a soccer club or any other athletic endeavor through their parents signing
them up.  So the starting point of a child’s experience stems from a decision their parent makes.  When
clicking the mouse to register, I ask parents to please consider “What are we trying to accomplish
here?”  There are so many positive reasons to sign a child up, but they are worth listing.

 To have fun playing

 To make new friends

 To instill the values of sportsmanship and fair play

 To be active and healthy

 To acquire new skills

 To learn to deal with both success and failure

If the program the parent signed up for provides their child with these opportunities, I think we’d all
agree it should be considered a success.  Now that a parent has made the decision to enroll their child,
it’s our duty as a club to ensure the experience is a positive one.

How do we ensure this? 

If there is a single quality that I hope to instill in the coaches that I work with and the parents that I come
across, it’s perspective.  Without perspective all the other qualities a coach may possess, whether it be
technical proficiency or tactical knowledge, he or she will always be limited in the development and
enjoyment of the players they are charged to lead.  The good news is that in my experience, perspective
isn’t a constant, but something that grows deeper over time and comes through experience.

Before going any further, I think it’s important to establish a definition of perspective.  Perspective can
be defined several ways, but the definition I like to focus on is:  the capacity to view things in their true
relations or relative importance.  I believe as the adult, the parent or coach, in the decision making
process for the child we have a responsibility to truly understand the “relative importance” of youth
sports.  If we allow the “relative importance” to guide our decision making process we should be on
solid footing with the decisions we make.  Is it important to play our “best players” to win a U11 game or
is it more important to provide all players an opportunity to play knowing kids develop at different rates
and the child that may struggle now could emerge as the one we turn to a few years down the road?  Do
we view the result of the game as the bench mark or the team’s performance and the effort they gave
as our measuring stick knowing the result is often out of our control?  Do we praise effort or talent? 
https://lexingtonunited.org/praise-effort-or-praise-talent/  If we as adults model proper perspective,
over time, as the child matures, they will become more involved in the decision making process both on
and off the field.

When a coach has perspective, they do things that are appropriate.  Not the flashiest of words, but solid
as an oak.  I had the opportunity to watch Tosh Farrell, former Director of the EvertonYouthAcademy,
run a session at this year’s NSCAA Convention where he used the phrase “provide the kids with the
appropriate diet”.  A good coach does just that.  A good coach runs practices that are age appropriate by
choosing exercises that are developmentally appropriate and delivered in a manner that is both verbally
and visually appropriate.

I want to expand on the visually appropriate comment since this is an area that can often be a
shortcoming for many coaches at all levels.  Dick Bate, Cardiff City Academy Director and a world class
coaching educator, posed the question, “when is a coach communicating?” in a lecture on
communication skills that I was fortunate enough to attend a few years back.  The answer:  all the time. 
All eyes are on you as the coach, so how do you want to look?  When a kid shoots wide of the target and
you toss your hands in the air or turn your back to the field, before regaining your composure and
offering “good try” or “unlucky” as words of encouragement what message have we sent our player? 
The demeanor of a coach has a profound impact on the game our children are involved in.  When a
coach has perspective and behaves in a composed manner, he encourages players to attempt new
things and to take chances without reprimand.  When doing so, he sets a tone that is often emulated by
the parents on the opposite sideline.  This creates a wonderful experience for all involved.  By contrast,
when a coach lacks perspective we often observe players deferring to teammates in an effort to avoid
making mistakes or taking ownership of their game.  When the fear of failure enters youth sports, the
values we signed up for begin to diminish and we need to rethink our investment.

“What are we trying to accomplish here?”

I believe as coaches we have a unique opportunity to develop not only players, but people.  That is what
we should be “trying to accomplish”.  When we rotate a player to different positions and “weaken our
chances of winning”, but know it is the right thing to do, we need to do it without hesitation.  When we
ask our players to take risks or play out the back and the ball gets turned over, we need to encourage
them to do it again or as Samuel Beckett says, “Fail Better” https://lexingtonunited.org/fail-better/ the
next time.

Just as parents begin the process with their child by signing them up to play, they often are the ones
that put closure to the weekend’s game on the ride home.  This is a responsibility that can have a lasting
impact on the player’s mindset.  Please take great care in this responsibility.  Instead of analyzing the
game, John O’Sullivan, Founder of the Changing the Game Project, recommends sharing these few
words on the ride home  “I really love watching you play”.  What a wonderful comment for a parent to
share with their child.  What a great perspective on what we should be trying to accomplish.