Reflection #2

Communication Ethics and Narrative - Reflection and Action

COM 614 Leanne Pupchek

September 23, 2010

Liz Horgan
! The narratives that guide my life stem from childhood. I was raised to be

independent; my parents were older and had to deal with my sister who had significant

health issues, so I was on my own a lot. Academics were valued, as a way to get

ahead, to prosper, and were assumed to be very important. I did well in school with

minimal effort, and that allowed me freedoms. I am generally an optimist and view the

world from a positive vantage point; I see that came from my mother, who was religious

and drummed into me that God was “good” and by extension life was “good” (and if

things didnʼt seem “good”, it was up to me to make them “good”). My father epitomized

his New England roots with virtues of working hard and saving/investing his money. He

was self effacing, lived simply in a nice place, yet used his money sparingly most of the

time (exceptions were for travel and new cars).

! From these familial examples and narratives my sense of “good” is derived.

Independence, intellectual curiosity and educational success, being capable and helpful

to others are things that I value as “good” in my life. Because my mother was so strong

in her religious beliefs, I have reacted and am not a supporter of organized religion, but

am able to accept different points of view as long as the acceptance is reciprocal - I do

not try to foist my beliefs on others, as I hated it when that was/is done to me. I am

politically independent, tending to a view of society that has obligations to help those

less fortunate.

! My narratives affect my communications and conversations with friends. For

example, they guide what I say, how I say it, and how I listen. I donʼt talk a lot, unless I

have something important to say (independence, self reliance, thrift). I listen a lot (I

learn, I understand where people are coming from, I use this to frame my
communications with people). I ask a lot of questions. I love language, and use “big

words” to express complexity and to pepper conversations with challenge and layers of

interest. I am selective about what I talk about; as a new mother, I could only talk

diapers for about 5 minutes (remarkable, you say) before getting totally bored, while

other mothers could wax poetically on the subject for what felt like hours. I find that I

can “chit chat”, but am soon bored with it and tend to look for more interesting

conversations/conversationalists.

! How do I ACT the “good” from these frames? I volunteer and give of my time and

money to help animals, to build at Habitat. I talk about environmental stewardship, and

have done work at the Catawba Lands Conservancy as an Ambassador, looking to

promote protection of non-developed land. I hike, camp, and enjoy nature as well as

work to protect her. I work with international visitors, welcoming them to our culture and

working to provide opportunities for their learnings about the US while asking them

about their experiences. I have volunteered for several political campaigns when I have

felt the swing too far from my belief system, and occasionally converse with people

about politics when I can no longer be silent.

! I work to understand othersʼ points of view. I believe that it is from understanding

that conversation can occur, where persuasion and rhetoric can sway change. I have to

work at being open minded. But when positions are based on ignorance, or on fictions,

I become passionate about my “right”ness, where reading this chapter I see that

understanding the background of peopleʼs narratives can make me more effective

communicating (as opposed to calling someone an “ignorant slut”, for example) and

understanding the foreground. Tolerance, and effort to communicate, to dialog.

! The example of the Thernardiers and Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, both with

their personal narratives and lives lived according to them, is one also shown in the

book The Calligrapherʼs Daughter by Eugenia Kim. Here the privileged daughter, Najin,

is raised in a high class, tradition-bound Korean family in the early part of the 20th

century. She is taught to value her past, and is raised with a father who insists on the

“old” ways while she sees the Korean world changing - she is caught between two

worlds. She marries and has to live with her husbandʼs parents for several years while

he is away. While Korean tradition demands unswerving service to her new family, her

in-laws treat her like a servant. Najin, even though educated and capable, is made to

do the lowest of tasks while the family turns a blind eye her unhappiness. Her

husbandʼs family is led by Reverend Cho, a Christian minister centered fully on his

“flock” and his Christian mission. Instead of practicing charity and Christian virtues in the

home, the Reverend tells Najin to pray, and because she does not embrace the

Christian way, becomes suspicious of her. His world is his ministry. Najin and Rev. Cho

come from different worlds, and are unable to find a way to connect; their belief systems

and their life experiences are so different that they each view the other with distrust.

Najin doubts Christian faith, and Rev. Cho dismisses the “old” ways and sees nothing

but his mission. With different narratives and a total lack of dialog, there can be no

communicative reflection, there can only be discord.

! Fiction mirrors life, and whether it is Jean Valjean and the Thenardiers, Najin and

Rev. Cho, or real world situations at work or between Palestinians and Jews, narratives

differ and are affected by historical moments. Communication, listening, and reflection
based upon an acceptance that narratives can be different and historical moments do

influence participants in dialog.!