Takhbeeb

The Crime of Corrupting and Instigating

the Wife against her Husband

Compiled by:
Fahad Barmem
ilm4all.blogspot.com
 ‫ وبعد‬، ‫بسم هللا واحلمد هلل والصالة والسالم على رسول هللا‬
Allaah praise is for Allaah alone, the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth and whatever is
between them. And peace of Allaah and His blessing be upon Prophet Muhammad ‫ﷺ‬, his
family, his Companions, and all those who tread his path till the Day of Judgment.

Among the actions which are more beloved to Shaitaan is to stir problems between a
husband and his wife.

‫ ي‬reported that Allaah’s Messenger ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Iblees places his throne

Jaabir ‫رض هللا عنه‬
upon water; he then sends detachments (to put people to trials); the nearer to him in
rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and
says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them
comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a
husband and a wife.” Iblees goes near him and says: “You have done well.”” 1

Some of the tools which Shaitaan uses are internal factors like misunderstanding,
disagreement, etc. It is a Major Sin and a crime when external factors are involved: the
jealousy, or the hatred, or the gossiping, or the backbiting and slandering of other people
which leads to the discord and separation of the husband and wife.

Some things corrupt a person’s marital life while he is unaware. It works like a hidden
poison. This poison (a crime) is known as Takhbeeb: the act of corrupting or instigating
the wife against her husband or the husband against his wife; and it is punishable by law.

The Messenger of Allaah ‫ ﷺ‬said: “He is not one of us who turns a woman against her
husband or a slave against his master.” 2

1
[Saheeh Muslim (2813)]

2
[Sunan Abu Dawood (2175, 5170); and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee ‫]رمحه هللا‬

Note: There is a narration which is attributed to the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬and which has become widespread upon the tongues
of a few scholars, may Allaah elevate their status, and on Arabic websites that the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬is supposed to have
said: “Cursed is he who instigates the wife against her husband”, or “Allaah curses the one who instigates the wife
against her husband”. The Hadeeth with this wording is not preserved. None of the famous books of Ahaadeeth
have reported this. It is found in two places in Imaam al-Dhahabee’s book, “al-Kabaair”, but without a chain of
narration. The least that can be said is that the Hadeeth with this wording has no basis.
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Except for Islaam, there is no other religion, society, or country that makes Takhbeeb an
offense punishable by law. Since it is not mentioned in the Western world, many people,
including many Muslims, are unaware of this word, “Takhbeeb” and the ruling concerning
it. Islaam outlawed this crime 1400 years ago, and it took many precautions in this
regards, it made it obligatory for both men and women to lower their gaze, it prohibited
free-mixing between men and women, and it prohibited seclusion between a man and a
woman who are not related, it prohibited improper clothing, it defined the dress codes
for men and women, Hijaab, etc.

In regards to Takhbeeb, the following article was issued by the Ministry of Justice and was
printed in one of the Arabic Dailies of Saudi Arabia:

Al-Madinah Newspaper
Ministry of Justice: 62 cases of Takhbeeb (instigating or corrupting a wife against her
husband) have been registered in the court so far in the past 8 months.

The Ministry of Justice had informed Al-Madinah (newspaper) on 07/June/2016 that in

the past eight months, the court has dealt with 62 cases of Takhbeeb – corrupting the
wife against her husband or the husband against his wife – so far. The highest of which
were registered in al-Riyaadh which saw 22 cases, and the courts in Makkah Province
(including Jeddah) saw 17 cases of Takhbeeb being registered in this period.

The Lawyer, `Abdullaah al-Jiraish, explained that: “Takhbeeb is when a third person (a
man or a woman) interferes between the husband and the wife intending to cause
problems between them, and perhaps with the intention of their own marriage (i.e. a
man intending to marry the wife, or the woman intending to marry the husband). If the
corrupter corrupts the marriage with the intention of his/her own marriage with the one
being corrupted, then such a marriage is Baatil (invalid) because in the Islaamic Legislation
prohibits a man to propose marriage to a woman to whom another person has already
proposed, it is not even allowed to propose to a woman who is in her `Iddah, then how
about one who tries to separate a man and his wife in order to get her.

He further said that a large number of divorce cases registered were due to Takhbeeb,
and this is the direct result of when a third person corrupts or instigates the spouses
against each other.

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The Messenger of Allaah ‫ ﷺ‬said: “He is not one of us who turns a woman against her
husband or a slave against his master.” 3

The Lawyer, ` Abdullaah al-Jiraish, confirmed that the Islaamic Legislation gives utmost
importance to maintaining the family, and it strictly rebukes the actions of those who try
to create separation between the husband and the wife by instigating or corrupting the
wife against her husband, or by offering her wealth or something similar to lure her. Al-
Jiraish also mentioned that the Saudi Law has not fixed a prescribed punishment – as a
criminal offense, but the punishment has been prescribed as censure and to discourage
such actions, which the attending judge decides, which also includes imprisonment and
flogging. But when the third person interferes when there is a conflict between the
husband and the wife, and his/her action leads to the divorce between the couples, then
it is treated as a criminal offense which obligates punishment. One should note that
Takhbeeb is corrupting the heart of the woman by this third person against her husband,
taking advantage of the conflict between them.

And al-Jiraish further confirmed that the judge decides the punishment as a means of
censuring the act, and depending upon the severity of the action – i.e. if the action by the
interference of the third person led to the separation between the spouses.
--end of quote from Al-Madinah Newspaper.

The oppression of corrupting a person’s wife who was Halaal for him is worse than the
oppression of taking away his wealth and property, and it is a more severe crime if they
have children between them.

It is very strange to see people who will sink to any depths for the sake of a fleeting
moment of physical pleasure or illusionary happiness.

ِ َ‫صبٌ َِِِّّّا ا ْْتَسُوا ولِلنِِّس ِاِ ن‬ِ َ‫ض ۚ لِِّل ِرج ِال ن‬ ِ
َ ‫َّل اللَّـهُ بِه بَـ ْع‬
ٌ‫صب‬ َ َ َُ َ ِّ ٍ ‫ض ُك ْم َعلَ ٰى بَـ ْع‬ َ ‫﴿وََل تَـتَ َمنـ َّْوا َما فَض‬
َ
ِ ٍ ِ ِ ِ ِ ْ َ‫اسأَلُوا اللَّـهَ ِمن ف‬ ِ
﴾‫بما‬ً ‫ضله ۗ إ َّن اللَّـهَ َْا َن ب ُك ِِّل َش ْيِ َعل‬ ْ ‫ْب ۚ َو‬ َ ْ ‫َِِّّّا ا ْْتَ َس‬
{And do not wish for that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed others. For
men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have
earned. And ask Allaah of His bounty. Indeed Allaah is ever, of all things, Knowing} 4

3
[Sunan Abu Dawood (2175, 5170); and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee ‫]رمحه هللا‬

4
[Surah al-Nisaa’ (4):32]
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As Allaah has blessed us with enough of that which is permissible, then what need do we
have of immoral ways for gratification, unless all a man cares about is pursuing his
irrational desires?

Turning a wife against her husband does not only mean pushing her to demand a divorce;
rather trying to play with her emotions and causing her to fall in love with you is one of
the worst kinds of corruption and wrongdoing.

The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce for no reason,
the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her.” 5

It is easy to manipulate and corrupt women because they are quick in denying the favors
done to them by their husbands and are ungrateful to them.

Narrated Ibn `Abbaas: The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the
majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked: “Do they
disbelieve in Allaah? (or are they ungrateful to Allaah?)” He ‫ ﷺ‬replied: “They are
ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable
deeds) done to them. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if
she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say: “I have never received any good
from you”.” 6

Asmaa' narrated that the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬passed by a group of women sitting down in the
Masjid. He ‫ ﷺ‬said Salaam to them with his hand and said: “Beware of the ingratitude of
those with blessings. Beware of the ingratitude of those with blessings.” One of them
said: “O Prophet of Allaah! We seek Allaah’s refuge from being ungrateful for the blessings
of Allaah.” He ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Rather, one of you women might have been without a husband
for a long time (and then Allaah provides her with one) and she becomes angry and
says: ‘By Allah, I have never seen an hour of good from you.’ That is ingratitude for the
blessings of Allaah. That is the ingratitude of those with blessings.” 7

5
[Sunan al-Tirmidhee (1187), Sunan Abu Dawood (2226), and Sunan Ibn Maajah (2055), and graded as “Saheeh” by
Shaikh al-Albaanee ‫]رمحه هللا‬

6
[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (29, 1052, 5197)]

7
[al-Adab al-Mufrad (1047) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee ‫]رمحه هللا‬

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Narrated Abu Sa`eed Al-Khudree: Once Allaah’s Messenger ‫ ﷺ‬went out to the Musallaa
(to offer the prayer) of `Eed al-Adha or `Eed al-Fitr prayer. Then he ‫ ﷺ‬passed by the
women and said: “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers
of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked: “Why is it so, O Allaah’s Messenger ‫ ”?ﷺ‬He
‫ ﷺ‬replied: “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen
anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man
could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked: “O Allaah’s Messenger ‫ !ﷺ‬What
is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Is not the evidence of two
women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He ‫ ﷺ‬said:
“This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor
fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He ‫ ﷺ‬said: “This is the
deficiency in her religion.” 8

A lot of times the people who are involved in this crime are the close relatives of the
husband and the close relatives of the wife. Sometimes the one who does Takhbeeb is
the mother of the husband, or the father of the husband, or the sister of the husband;
and other times it is the mother of the wife, or the father of the wife, or the sister of the
wife who does Takhbeeb. All of them fall into doing a Major Sin, making the wife leave
the house of her husband – divorced – acting as Shaitaan’s soldiers in corrupting the
marital relationship. Many come in a guise of those who want to reconcile between the
husband and the wife, while in reality, they are liars and only want to destroy the
relationship.

One has to understand and take care that Takhbeeb is not a minor crime, rather it is a
Major Sin, and punishable by (Islaamic) Law. Sufficient for us to the gravity of this crime
is that the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said that the one who corrupts the wife against her husband is not
one of us. This should scare any person from saying a word because of which he may be
thrown in the Hell-Fire. Saying words that may corrupt the heart of an unsuspecting
husband or an unsuspecting wife and because of which the marriage ends up in divorce;
or changing the behavior of the husband or the wife because of a word which one had
said and strained their relationship.

Narrated Abu Hurairah ‫رض هللا عنه‬:

‫ي‬ The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said: “…A slave (of Allaah) may utter
a word (carelessly) which displeases Allaah without thinking of its gravity and because
of that he will be thrown into the Hell-Fire.” 9

8
[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (304, 1462) and Saheeh Muslim]

9
[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (6478)]

P a g e 6 | 21
Some of the people involved in Takhbeeb are:
Some of the perpetrators of Takhbeeb are the ignorant of the religion, are less practicing,
unaware of the religious rulings, filled with hatred and jealousy, whose hearts are
diseased. Takhbeeb is: playing with people’s honor; it is: causing discord between the
husband and wife; it is: breaking up of families; it is: destroying of homes.

i) Parents as Mukhabbibs:
One of the main culprits of Takhbeeb is some of the mothers. Yes, the mother, the
coolness of the eyes of the husband, spared no efforts in finding a match for her son, his
sisters going out to places to look for a match for their brother, going to matchmakers,
etc. Once a match is found and the person gets married, these are the people who are
the first to torture. “Your wife does not say Salaams to us!” “Your wife is an awful cook!”
Some mothers go to the extent saying to their sons: “Her (the wife’s) mother does not
respect me!” What has the wife’s mother got to do with their marriage? And who is
forcing them to eat what she cooked?

Then these mothers stand in front of their sons and say: “Divorce her or I’m not your
mother!” It is not from righteousness to divorce a wife to please the mother. The wife did
not do anything wrong to you, she might be innocent, humble, loves her husband and he
loves her, except that the mother of the husband doesn’t like her. If the mother does not
have a Shar`ee (religiously valid) excuse, then it is not permissible for the husband to
divorce his wife. If he divorces her in compliance with his mother’s wishes, he is making
his mother fall in the category of people who have been rejected by the Prophet ‫ﷺ‬,
because his mother has caused them to split.

If she says: “My son! Your wife does not pray!”, “My son! The Hijaab of your wife is not
proper!”, “My son! Your wife does not cover herself properly in front of strangers and she
mixes with men!”, or “She goes out without your permission!” Yes, these are valid excuses
for the mother to interfere and advise her son, but just because the mother doesn’t like
the son’s wife, this is not a reason.

Sometimes it is the father of the husband, saying: “Divorce her or I’m not your father!”,
“divorce her and I will get you married to four women!” O father! Where was this kindness
before, when the son went out to purchase a car on installments or get a loan to set up
the house? Where was this kindness? Why did not the money come out during the first
marriage? The money is coming out only because the husband’s father has something
going on with the wife’s father or her brother and out of revenge, “her father or brother

P a g e 7 | 21
does not respect me!” The son did not marry the brother and what has the brother’s habit
got to do with the wife? The brother can be a criminal or corrupt but what has that got to
do with his sister? Her father is in his house, his actions should not be the reason to
corrupt the relationship in the son’s house. The son should not divorce his wife out of the
fear of his father. But he should be kind to his parents and reason with them politely and
kindly and not raise your voice at them, saying: “O my father! I love her and she loves me!
If I had seen anything wrong with her or her character, I would have divorced! Rather, she
helps me being obedient to Allaah! Divorcing her is oppression! And I don’t want you to
be an oppressor! O my father! O my mother! Don’t be among the people who have been
rejected by the Prophet ‫ﷺ‬.”

Ruling on divorcing the wife to please the parents:

Obedience to parents is an obligation on the child concerning that which will benefit them
and will not harm the child. Concerning that which does not bring them any benefits or
which will cause harm to the child, he does not have to obey them in that case.

Narrated `Alee ‫رض هللا عنه‬:

‫ي‬ The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said: “There is no obedience (towards anyone)
in matters which involves disobedience towards Allaah; obedience is only with regards
to that which is right and proper.” 10

In regards to the Hadeeth of `Umar ‫رض هللا عنه‬,

‫ي‬ where he told his son to divorce his wife,
the Hadeeth is as follows:

Narrated `Abdullaah ibn `Umar ‫رض هللا عنهما‬:

‫ي‬ I had a wife whom I loved, but whom `Umar
‫رض هللا عنه‬
‫ ي‬disliked. He told me to divorce her and when I refused, `Umar went to Allaah’s
Messenger ‫ ﷺ‬and mentioned the matter to him. Allaah’s Messenger ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Divorce
her.” 11

Shaikh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah ‫رحمه هللا‬:

Shaikh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah ‫ رحمه هللا‬was asked about a man who is married and has
children, but his mother hates his wife and is asking him to divorce her, is it allowed for
him to divorce her? He (Ibn Taymiyyah) said: “It is not allowed for him to divorce his wife
(only) because his mother said so. What is upon him is to be kind to his mother, but
divorcing his wife is not part of it.” 12

10
[Saheehain]

11
[Sunan Tirmidhee (1189) and Sunan Abu Dawood (5138) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee ‫ رمحه هللا‬in
his checking of Sunan Abu Dawood]

12
[Majmoo` al-Fataawa (33/112)]
P a g e 8 | 21
Shaikh al-`Uthaymeen ‫ رحمه هللا‬said:
“It is not that every father is to be obeyed when he forces/commands his son to divorce
his wife. A man asked Imaam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal ‫ رحمه هللا‬saying: My father said: “Divorce
your wife”, while I love her. Imaam Ahmad said: “Do not obey him.” The man said: “Did
not the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬commanded `Abdullaah Ibn `Umar ‫رض هللا عنهما‬ ‫ ي‬to divorce his wife
upon the command of `Umar ‫”?رض هللا عنه‬ ‫ي‬ Imaam Ahmad said: “Is your father like
`Umar?”

Because `Umar ‫رض هللا عنه‬,

‫ي‬ as we know, was a man who had sure knowledge (certainty),
he would not have commanded (his son) `Abdullaah to divorce his wife except for a
legitimate reason, which (his son) Ibn `Umar might not have known. It is impossible that
`Umar ‫رض هللا عنه‬
‫ ي‬would command his son to divorce his wife so that he could separate
them without a legitimate reason.

So as per this, if your father or mother commands you to divorce your wife, while you
love her and do not find any legitimate reason against her, then do not divorce her,
because this is from those special cases in which no one is allowed to interfere between
the man and his wife.” 13

Shaikh al-`Uthaymeen ‫ رحمه هللا‬also said:

“If the father tells his son to divorce his wife, one of the following two scenarios must
apply:

1) Where the father gives a legitimate reason why he should divorce her and separate
from her, such as saying, Divorce your wife because her behavior is suspicious, such as
she flirts with men or goes out to gatherings that are not decent and so on. In this case,
the son should agree and divorce her, because he is not telling her to divorce her based
on a whim; rather that is to protect his son’s honor from being besmirched, so he should
divorce her.

2) Where the father tells his son to divorce his wife because the son loves her, but the
father feels jealous of his son’s love for her and the mother is more jealous, because many
mothers when they see that their son loves his wife, feel very jealous as if the son’s wife
is a co-wife and rival. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound. In this case, the son does
not have to divorce his wife if his father or mother tells her to divorce her. Rather he
should be tactful with them and keep his wife, and he should try to convince them with

13
[Sharh Riyaadh al-Saaliheen (3/203)]
P a g e 9 | 21
kind words until they are persuaded that she should stay with him, especially if the wife
is religiously committed and has a good attitude.

Imaam Ahmad ‫ رحمه هللا‬was asked about this very issue. A man came and said: “My father
is telling me to divorce my wife.” Imaam Ahmad said to him: “Do not divorce her.” He
said: “Didn’t the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬tell Ibn `Umar to divorce his wife when `Umar told him to do
that?” He said: “Is your father like ‘Umar?”

If the father quotes evidence to his son and says: “O my son, the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬told
`Abdullaah ibn `Umar to divorce his wife when his father ‘Umar told him to do that,” the
response to that is: “Are you like ‘Umar?” But you should speak kindly and gently, and say
that ‘Umar saw something which indicated that it was in his son’s interests to divorce his
wife. This is the answer to this question which comes up frequently.” 14

We should be cautious of some mothers. Some mothers corrupt the daughters against
their husbands in a way that the daughter is unaware of. Some daughters are ignorant,
not knowing that the way their mother behaves with their father does not necessarily
apply to their husband. The woman should know that the life she lived in her father’s
house is different from the life she is living with her husband.

So a warning to the mothers that they should either speak good or remain silent and do
not corrupt her daughter’s marital life. The mothers should teach the daughters to be
patient, they should counsel the daughters instead of the mothers being the root cause
for corrupting and inciting and provoking the daughters against their husbands. They say:
Why don’t you visit us more often? Why is he confining you? Why do you let him go so
easily? Why doesn’t he take you out more often? These are all that incites and corrupt
one’s heart against the spouse.

Sometimes the mothers become jealous of the son’s wife because before marriage the
only important person in the son’s life was the mother, he would be with her in the
morning and the evening, take her to places, drop her off to relatives and pick her up. But
now he is doing all this to someone else, going places, going shopping, eating out in the
restaurants. Since when did eating at restaurants become Haraam? When did going for
shopping become a matter of concern? This is mostly because she misses her son. But the
son should be careful that he does not make his mother fall into a Major Sin and be among
the people who have been rejected by the Prophet ‫ﷺ‬.

14
[Al-Fataawa al-Jaami`ah lil-Mar’ah al-Muslimah (2/671)]
P a g e 10 | 21
ii) Husbands and Wives as Mukhabbibs:
It is hard to believe, but some husbands and wives are their own worst enemies. They
work like the mules for Shaitaan, ruining their own marriage. Messengers of Shaitaan,
tale-carrying, and speaking badly about their spouse.

In their ignorance, they convey the word of their mother to their spouse, and they convey
the word of their spouse to their mother. For example, the husband may say to his wife:
“My mom says that you are not a good cook”, or “you do not keep the house clean”, or
“you are lazy” etc. And husbands, instead of manning up and taking charge of the house,
complain to their mothers about their wives.

Similarly, the wives do the same, they’ll say to their husbands: “my mom says that you
are a miser”, or “you are poor and lazy”; or she’ll say to him: “your mom does not respect
me”, or “your mom always belittles everything I do”. And she would complain about her
husband in front of her parents and sisters. This is how Shaitaan sows seeds of discord
between the husband and the wife.

Another method of Takhbeeb is when a woman puts a condition on the man to divorce
his first wife if he wants to marry her. A man would want to have a second or a third wife,
so the woman says to him: “I will only agree to marry you when you divorce your first
wife.” We seek Allaah’s refuge from such oppression. We seek Allaah’s refuge from such
transgression. Does not this woman fear Allaah who is ready to throw the other wife
under the bus to gain an advantage for herself?! And this husband agrees to her term,
does he not fear Allaah for betraying his first wife?

Some women do not do this before marriage, but rather after getting married. After
getting married she will pretend to be upset, will return to her family, pretend to be
oppressed, and will say: “I will not return to you or reconcile with you till you divorce the
other wife.” This a Major Sin! A weak husband will give in to his wife’s demands and fall
into committing injustice. This woman who put the condition for the divorce of the other
wife is an oppressor, Mukhabbibah (the one who caused the husband to separate from
the wife), and has fallen into a Major Sin, and if the husband agrees to her demands, then
he has participated with her in that sin.

Ponder over the saying of the Prophet ‫ﷺ‬, as reported in the Saheehain:

P a g e 11 | 21
The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said: “It is not lawful for a woman (at the time of wedding) to ask for
the divorce of her sister (i.e. the other wife of her would-be husband) in order to have
everything for herself, for she will take only what has been written for her.” 15

In the beginning, the second wife will be all affectionate and romantic, then she will give
him cold shoulder and get away from him. He will ask her to return, she will respond,
saying: “as long as you have another woman, I will not return to you! By Allaah! I will not
return until you divorce her.” So now he is ready to divorce his first wife who provided
him with comfort and bore children for him, and after whom he was given the Kunya
(nickname): “the father of so-and-so”. He divorces her and returns to the second wife. Do
you O husband and you the second wife, do you both think that you can get away with
this? Do you both not fear the Du`aa that she will be making against you because she was
oppressed and that her marriage was destroyed because of you? Did you forget that
Allaah responds quickly to the Du`aa of the oppressed? Beware of falling under the
banner of Takhbeeb by corrupting the relationship between a husband and his wife.
Putting a condition to the husband to divorce his other wife is from Major Sins.

Sometimes a person divorces his first wife just to please the second wife. But after some
time he does not find comfort with the second wife and trouble starts between the two.
He now wants to return to the first wife, but she is already married to someone else who
is more pious than him. He is now like a nomad who got stuck between two valleys on
Eid, neither belonging here nor there, neither able to celebrate Eid with the first one (i.e.
can’t go to the first one) and doesn’t want to celebrate with the second (i.e. doesn’t want
to return to the second one). These are from the plots of Shaitaan.

iii) Sisters as Mukhabbibs:

Sometimes the cause of conflict between a husband and the wife is the sisters. A person
with his wife may sometimes still stay in the house of his parents, and he has 3 or 4 sisters
who are not married, and these sisters might be older than the wife, and now their
brother gives more time to his wife than to his sisters. These are the ones who were full
of joy in their marriage, but the day they see his love for his wife, they get jealous, taunting
him saying: “You are not man enough!”, “she is controlling you!”. Their way of Takhbeeb
sometimes is through taunting and insulting to prove their brother against his wife.
Sometimes they will say: “Did you have breakfast?” He says: “No I did not!” They will
respond: “She doesn’t take care of you? That is not nice of her!” The sisters: “Did she

15
[Saheehain, in other narration in the Saheehain it is: “A (Muslim) woman shall not try to bring about the divorce
of her sister (i.e. another Muslim woman) in order to take her place herself.”]

P a g e 12 | 21
wash your clothes?” The brother: “No! I took it to the laundry.” The sisters: “May Allaah
protect us from such women! We tired ourselves to find a good wife for you and she
doesn’t even do the basic things around the house!” This nagging is the beginning which
leads to Takhbeeb. The sisters should beware and the husband should beware of such
acts that corrupt the relationship between the husband and the wife.

Constant complaining by the husband or the wife in front of his/her family is a sure way
for getting them involved in ruining their marital relationship.

iv) Friends as Mukhabbibs:

A woman visits one of her friends only to return with a corrupted heart against her
husband, because her friend incited or provoked her, or belittled her husband’s efforts,
or created suspicion about her husband, or spoke well about her husband which made
this lady undermine her husband’s struggles. Sometimes a visitor comes to one’s house
and does not leave except that the wife or the husband has been corrupted against the
other.

Sometimes, the males friends corrupt the husband against his wife, speaking badly about
his wife or her family, or introducing him to other women. So the man returns to the
house all incited and proved while the wife is unaware of what happened and what has
caused the husband to change. We seek Allaah’s protection and ask for our well-being.
Sometimes the friends of the husband tease him: “you are being taken for a ride by your
wife”, “you are afraid of your wife”, “if you are a man, then take a second wife”. So he
gets all charged up and claims he is not afraid of his wife and comes home to oppress her.
They incite a man against his wife. The man who was who used to wake up physically
healthy, feeling safe and secured in his dwelling, and had provision for the day, and had
good wife, now wakes up dejected and demoralized, with a broken family and lost his
wife, only because his friends mocked him and provoked him.

There are friends (fiends) who cannot withstand to see other people happy. Their only
concern is how to destroy a peaceful family and bring turmoil in their lives.

Some men and women keep complaining about their spouses in the presence of their
friends. So, these friends inform them to: “get a divorce”, “leave your spouse”. Some
women in this age, when they get divorced, they celebrate and throw a party for getting
divorced from so-and-so.

Some women are incited through feminism and the false propaganda of seeking freedom
from the shackles of marriage and the bondage of their husbands. This call for “freedom”

P a g e 13 | 21
is an evil plot of Shaitaan to incite a woman against her husband. They want to take the
woman out of the protection of her husband so that she becomes accessible to lust after
her. So these friends of the woman who incite her in the name of feminism and freedom
are Mukhabbibah (home breakers) and fall under the threat as mentioned in the Hadeeth.
We seek Allaah’s protection from such friends.

v) Social Gatherings as places of Takhbeeb:

Sometimes Takhbeeb takes place in gatherings. Some gatherings have an evil effect on a
person. When a woman attends such gatherings, other women tell her to do such-and-
such to your husband or ask him to provide you with such-and-such, don’t compromise,
don’t leave him till he gives you what you want, all men are like this. This creates problems
in their marital lives from which the woman cannot come out of it because of what she
has been told in the gathering.

vi) Wicked Men as Mukhabbibs:

One of the root causes of Takhbeeb is evil, wicked men, who approach married women
and try to provoke them and lead them away from their husbands. She was already under
the protection of her husband, but one will approach her saying: “he is not your match”,
“you are so beautiful, and you are living with an ape?”, “Why do you live with a poverty-
stricken man?", or “a miser”, “you are someone who should be covered in gold!”, “you
should get out of that hole”. She is convinced to leave her husband, but she says: “What
will I do next?” This wicked person jumps in and says: “My heart and my house are open
for you”. So she flips on her husband and asks for a divorce, i.e. Khula` (separation of the
wife in return for a payment), and then she gets married to this wicked man. The Maalikee
Jurists believe that whichever man incites a wife against her husband and then he himself
marries her, then their marriage is invalid, as a punishment to him for his crime of
Takhbeeb.

There is another scenario where a wicked man gets in an illicit relationship with a married
woman, he talks to her, lures her, provokes her against her husband. So, when she leaves
everything for him and asks him to marry her, this wicked man makes excuses, saying:
“my family is not willing for me to get married to you”, “Oh! I’m not ready yet to settle
down!”, “I don’t have money to get married!” and then he marries someone else. So now
she is between the two valleys, her first (ex) husband has moved on and married someone
else, and her lover is not willing to marry her. She ends up destroying what she had for
the fantasy she was falsely shown.

P a g e 14 | 21
These wicked men prey on married women like there are no more unmarried women left
in the world to whom they can get married to legitimately, and that he has no other choice
but to chase a woman who is already married and is under the protection and
responsibility of her husband. So he approaches her and incites her against her husband
and makes promises to marry her after her divorce.

Furthermore, a woman is lured through promises of romantic life, or luxury and wealth.
Sometimes she wants to take revenge from her husband, and sometimes it is her
infidelity. The infidelity of a woman sometimes does not need any external factors to
corrupt her against her husband. It is sometimes her inner shameful desires which may
make her become unfaithful to her husband, even if he has done nothing wrong
apparently. The wife of the `Azeez is a clear example, where the wife was unfaithful while
no fault of the husband was mentioned.

﴾‫ال إِنَّهُ ِمن َْْب ِد ُْ َّن إِ َّن َْْب َد ُْ َّن َع ِظبم‬

َ َ‫بصهُ قُ َّد ِمن ُدبٍُر ق‬ ِ ٰ ‫﴿فَـلَ َّما رأ‬
َ ‫َى قَم‬َ
{So when he (her husband) saw his (Yusuf's) shirt torn at the back; (her husband) said:
"Surely, it is a plot of you women! Certainly mighty is your plot!} 16

‫اَا َعن نـَّْ ِس ِه قَ ْد َشََ َْ ََا ُُُا إِ ََّ لَنَـَر َاَا ِف‬ ِ ِ ِ َ َ‫﴿وق‬
ُ ‫ال ن ْس َوة ِف الْ َمدننَِ ْامَرأ‬
َ َ‫َُ الْ َعِنِ تُـَرا ِوُد فَـت‬ َ
﴾‫ي‬ ٍ ُِ‫ض َال ٍل ُّم‬ َ
{And women in the city said: "The wife of Al-`Azeez is seeking to seduce her (slave)
young man, indeed she loves him violently; verily we see her in plain error."} 17

ِ ِ َّ ‫احل ُّق أ َََ راودتُّه عن نـَّْ ِس ِه وإِنَّه لَ ِمن‬ ِ

﴾‫ي‬
َ ‫الصادق‬ َ ُ َ َ ُ َ َ َْ ‫ص‬ ْ َُ ‫َُ الْ َع ِن ِ ْاْل َن‬
َ ‫ص َح‬ ُ ‫﴿قَالَت ْامَرأ‬
{The wife of Al-`Azeez said: "Now the truth is manifest (to all), it was I who sought to
seduce him, and he (Yusuf) is surely of the truthful."} 18

16
[Surah Yusuf (12):28]

17
[Surah Yusuf (12):30]

18
[Surah Yusuf (12):51]

P a g e 15 | 21
 ِ ‫لس‬
﴾‫وِ إََِّل َما َرُِ َم َرِِِّب ۚإِ َّن َرِِِّب َغ ُْور َّرُِبم‬ ُّ ‫س ََل ََّم َارة ِِب‬ ِ‫ئ نَـْ ِسي ۚ إ‬
َ ْ‫ـ‬َّ
‫ن‬ ‫ال‬ َّ
‫ن‬ ُ ‫﴿ َوَما أُبَِِّر‬
{"And I free not myself (from the blame). Verily, the (human) self is inclined to evil,
except when my Lord bestows His Mercy (upon whom He wills). Verily, my Lord is Oft-
Forgiving, Most Merciful."} 19

A pious, practicing Muslim woman should not fall for the plots of these wicked men.
Rather, it is Haraam for boys and men to have girlfriends and it is Haraam for girls and
women to have boyfriends [See Surah al-Nisaa’ (4): 25 and Surah al-Maaidah (5): 5]. This
befriending the opposite gender, secret talks, and secret meetings cause corruption in
the land. No man is alone with a woman except that Shaitaan is the third one present
with them.

vii) The ignorant marriage counselors as Mukhabbibs:

When everything is going smoothly between the husband and the wife, then no one is
allowed to interfere between them trying to separate them except for a valid reason. But
on the contrary, if there is a conflict between the husband and the wife then, it becomes
a must that people interfere to reconcile between them, as Allaah ‫ تعاىل‬says:

‫ص َال ًُا نـُ َوفِِّ ِق‬ َ ‫اق بَـْبنِ َِ َما فَابْـ َعثُوا َُ َك ًما ِِّم ْن أ ََْلِ ِه َو َُ َك ًما ِِّم ْن أ ََْلِ ََا إِن نُِر‬
ْ ِ‫ندا إ‬ َ ‫﴿وإِ ْن ِخْتُ ْم ِش َق‬
َ
﴾‫بما َخُِ ًريا‬ ِ ِ
ً ‫اللَّـهُ بَـْبـنَـ َُ َما ۗ إ َّن اللَّـهَ َْا َن َعل‬
{If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two)
arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace,
Allaah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allaah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted
with all things.} 20

Some people act as marriage counselors, giving advice to couples, and trying to help
them. But many counselors have no skills or wisdom or intellect, are not practicing, and
are ignorant of the Islaamic rulings. Some of these counselors, when one goes to him

19
[Surah Yusuf (12):53]

20
[Surah al-Nisaa’ (4):35]

P a g e 16 | 21
complaining about his wife, he advises him to divorce her. The purpose of marriage
counseling is to seek help and rectification as mentioned in the Aayah, but these people
do the exact opposite. The intention of the counselor should be to reconcile, but there
are some with evil intentions, those whose hearts are diseased. They have other
intentions. So, he asks the husband to divorce her, saying: “She is not suitable for you,
you need a better woman”, making him fantasize about an imaginary woman. So after
she has completed her `Iddah (period of waiting after divorce), this man receives the news
that his ex is getting married to the same counselor who had asked him to divorce her.
Such is the treachery. There are many instances where a woman married the same judge
who signed her divorce documents.

Some people, when they have marital discord and it is taking a toll on their health,
mentally and physically, they visit a psychiatrist for help. Many times these psychiatrists
have little knowledge about Islaam or are less practicing, and they give little importance
to family values. They treat their patients as individuals instead of treating the issue as a
social disorder. Many of them very easily say to the women: “If you are not getting along
with him, then get a divorce.”

viii) Sorcerers as Mukhabbibs:

Allaah ‫ تعاىل‬said:

ِ ِ ِ ‫ي َعلَ ٰى م ْل‬ ِ
‫ي َْ َُْروا‬
َ ‫ك ُسلَْب َما َن َوَما َْ ََْر ُسلَْب َما ُن َولَـٰك َّن الشَّبَاط‬ ُ ُ ‫﴿ َواتَّـَُـعُوا َما تَـْتـلُو الشَّبَاط‬
‫ان ِم ْن أَ َُ ٍد‬
ِ ‫ي بُِابِل َاروُ وماروُ ۚ وما نـعلِِّم‬ ِ
َ َ ُ َ َ َ ُ َ َ َ ُ َ َ َ ْ ‫الس ْحَر َوَما أُن َِل َعلَى الْ َملَ َك‬
ِ
ِّ ‫َّاس‬ َ ‫نـُ َعلِّ ُمو َن الن‬
ِ
﴾‫ي الْ َمْرِِ َوََْوِج ِه‬ ِ ِ ِ
َ َْ‫َُ َّ َّٰت نَـ ُق َوَل إََِّّنَا ََْن ُن فْتـنَِ فَ َال تَ ْك ُْْر فَـبَـتَـ َعلَّ ُمو َن مْنـ َُ َما َما نـُ َِِّْرقُو َن بِه ب‬
{They followed what the Shayaateen gave out (falsely of the magic) in the lifetime of
Sulaimaan. Sulaimaan did not disbelieve, but the Shayaateen disbelieved, teaching men
magic and such things that came down at Babylon to the two angels, Haroot and
Maroot, but neither of these two (angels) taught anyone (such things) till they had said:
“We are only for trial, so disbelieve not (by learning this magic from us).” And from
these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation between man and his
wife…} 21

Imaam Ibn Katheeer ‫ رحمه هللا‬commented on the above Aayah saying:

21
[Surah al-Baqarah (2): 102]
P a g e 17 | 21
“Allah said: {And from these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation
between man and his wife}, This means: “The people learned magic from Haroot and
Maroot and indulged in evil acts that included separating spouses, even though spouses
are close to, and intimately associated with each other. This is the devil’s work.”

Imaam Muslim recorded in his Saheeh that Jaabir bin `Abdullaah ‫رض هللا عنهما‬‫ ي‬said that
the Messenger of Allaah ‫ ﷺ‬said: “Iblees places his throne upon water; he then sends
detachments (to put people to trials); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most
notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he
says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not
spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Iblees
goes near him and says: “You have done well.””

The separation between a man and his wife occurs here because each spouse imagines
that the other spouse is ugly or ill-mannered, etc.” 22
--end of quote from Tafseer Ibn Katheer

Legal Punishment for Takhbeeb:

QUESTION: A woman came to know that her husband has been in contact with another
woman. The woman says that she can ask for Talaaq (divorce) or Khula` (annulment of
the marriage contract). But how can she take revenge from her husband’s female friend?

Answer (by the lawyer): It is simple, she (the wife) can file a complaint against the woman
for Takhbeeb (corrupting the spouse, i.e. corrupting the husband against the wife or in
other cases, corrupting the wife against the husband).

She files the complaint against the female friend of her husband. In Islaamic Sharee`ah,
there is no such thing as "a female friend of the husband". It is against the Sharee`ah. This
is an un-Islaamic relationship.

She should file the complaint that this female friend of her husband is causing
trouble/corruption in their marriage life. Then there will be an investigation done by the
“Public Prosecution Department”, and the matter will then be transferred to the “Criminal
Court” and she – the friend of her husband – would then be punished legally.

The opposite is also true. If the husband comes to know that his wife is in contact with a
male person – and we seek Allaah’s refuge from this – the husband can file a complaint

22
[Tafseer Ibn Katheer, Surah al-Baqarah (2): 102]
P a g e 18 | 21
of Takhbeeb against this male friend of his wife and he (the male friend of his wife) will
be punished legally.

In one of the legal cases, the husband filed a complaint against the sister of the wife for
causing problems in their marriage life.

What do you mean by Takhbeeb? It means instigating the person against the other (i.e.
the wife against the husband for example).

If a man or a woman instigates their friend, or a woman instigates her sister to divorce
her husband, saying: “Your husband is like this”, “your husband has done that” etc. This
causes corruption in the marriage relationship. This is Takhbeeb. The punishment of this
is imprisonment and flogging.

In Islaam, there is no such thing as "a female friend of the husband", or "the male friend
of the wife". Anyone who tries to corrupt the relationship between the husband and the
wife, whether it be the brother or the sister of the wife, or the brother or the sister of the
husband, or any other friend of either the husband or the wife who tries to create a
problem between them, a complaint regarding “Takhbeeb” can be filed against such
people.

The most important thing is that we should know our legal rights. It is that simple. So, if a
person comes to you saying I have a problem with my wife. The best thing for you to say
is: “Do not involve me in this. You should better go to a legal counselor.”

Keep such people away from your lives

Question: Is it permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from maintaining bonds
with her kinship, especially her mother and father?

Answer: Maintaining ties of kinship is Waajib (an obligatory act), and it is not permissible
for the husband to prevent his wife from doing so; because severing bonds of kinship is
from the major sins. And it is not permissible for the wife to obey her husband in this
regard, because there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator.
Rather she should maintain ties of kinship through her personal wealth, correspondences,
and visits to them; except when such visits would be damaging the rights of the husband.
If the husband fears that her close relatives would instigate her against him, then he has

P a g e 19 | 21
the right to prevent her from visiting them. So in this case she should maintain her ties of
kinship without visiting them. 23

Question: What is the ruling on someone who tries to provoke the spouses against each
other, if they are from among the wife's relatives?

The Lajnah: It is Haraam to provoke a wife or turn her against her husband, whether the
one who does this is a relative or not. It was related by Al-Nasa'y, Abu Dawud, and Ibn
Hibban on the authority of Abu Hurairah ‫ رضي هللا عنه‬that the Prophet ‫ صلى هللا علبه وسلم‬said:
“Anyone who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not
one of us.”* This is the wording of Abu Dawood.

May Allaah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad,
his family, and Companions.

Member - Shaikh `Abdullaah al-Ghudayyaan

Deputy Chairman – Shaikh `Abdul Razzaaq `Afifiy
Chairman – Shaikh `Abdul `Azeez ibn `Abdullaah Ibn Baaz.24

In The End:
This message to the husband and the wife, to the Believing man and the Believing woman,
be aware and take precaution against all those who are known to corrupt the relationship
between you and your spouse, between you and your family, and to live with decency,
and to suffice with whatever you have, and to live with harmony. Don’t seek what is with
the people saying: “they have such-and-such”, “look at their house, how big it is”, “they
went to such-and-such a place for vacation”, “she wore such-and-such”, “her husband did
such-and-such for her but you did nothing for me!” We should leave all this comparison
and live a normal life, as Allaah ‫ تعاىل‬said:

ِ ِ ُّ ِ‫احلباة‬
َ ِِّ‫الدنْـبَا لنَـْتِنَـ َُ ْم ف ِبه ۚ َوِرَْ ُق َرب‬
‫ك َخ ْري‬ ِ ‫ك إِ َ َٰل ما متـَّعنَا بِِه أ ََْو‬
ََْ ‫اجا ِّمْنـ َُ ْم ََََْرَة‬
ًَ َّ ‫﴿وََل ََتُد‬
ْ َ َ َ ‫َّن َعْبـنَـْب‬ َ
﴾‫َوأَبْـ َق ٰى‬

23
[Shaikh Saleh al-Fawzaan – 1397 ‫]فتاوى علماِ الُلد احلرام ص‬
24
[Fataawa Lajnah (10726)]

P a g e 20 | 21
{And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to
various groups of them, the splendor of the life of this world that We may test them
thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and
more lasting.} 25

A piece of advice to the brothers and sisters that having a big house or a lot of wealth is
not everything. Success is in having Imaan (Faith) and the obedience to Allaah ‫عز وجل‬. Live
with your spouse in a respectable manner and be patient with each other for everyone
has their shortcomings and faults, as Allaah ‫ تعاىل‬said:

﴾‫وَ َّن فَـ َع َس ٰى أَن تَ ْكَرَُوا َشْبـئًا َوَْي َع َل اللَّـهُ فِ ِبه َخ ْ ًريا َْثِ ًريا‬ ِ
ُ ‫وَ َّن ِِبلْ َم ْعُروف ۚ فَِإن َْ ِرَْتُ ُم‬
ِ
ُ ‫﴿ َو َعاشُر‬
{And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing
and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good} 26

May Allaah cover our faults and guide us to that which will benefit us in this world and
the Hereafter!

‫وصلى هللا وسلم وِبرك على عُده ورسوله نُبنا حممد وعلى آله وأصحابه أمجعي‬

25
[Surah Taha (20): 131]

26
[Surah al-Nisaa’ (4): 19]
P a g e 21 | 21