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First dimensional consciousness is awareness as a point. The consciousness that resonates to this
dimension is the Mineral Kingdom. Current third dimensional science has not proven that minerals have
any awareness as we recognize it, but healers and shaman have been using crystals as healing tools for
many centuries.

Humans' first dimensional consciousness is "unconscious" to our five physical senses. However, the first
dimension is a portion of our bodies and represents the minerals, water, and genetic codes that are the
foundation of our physical forms. If we could access this level of our unconscious, we could connect with
the entire physical world via its most basic common denominator, the individual molecules. Perhaps we
could even consciously access our own genetic coding.

I feel myself upon the first step of my consciousness. I am of the first dimension. I am an atom of carbon,
a drop of water, and an imprint upon a strand of DNA. However, I cannot perceive the strand or the
other molecules of water and carbon. I am only conscious of my exact point of my awareness. However,
as I look inside myself, I find that another world exists, a world of electrons, protons, nuclei, and quarks. I
am the gateway between the macrocosm and the microcosm.


Second dimensional consciousness is awareness as point and line. The consciousness that resonates to
this dimension is biological matter such as the Plant Kingdom and the lower Animal Kingdom. The
consciousness of this dimension does not possess self-awareness. These beings are only conscious of
their species' identity and their need for feeding, fighting, and procreation. Their consciousness is based
upon survival of the fittest and they live solely within the awareness of the moment.

Human second dimensional consciousness is centered in the lower brain, which directs the autonomic
nervous system to regulate and maintain life support functions. Our five physical senses are largely
unconscious of this component of ourselves, but with training such as biofeedback and meditations,
some conscious awareness and control can be established. Yogis are known to achieve enough
conscious control of their autonomic nervous system and can regulate their heartbeat and metabolism.

"Primitive" peoples are much more aware of this "animal" portion of their physical form and, therefore,
have conscious access to their basic instincts and an awareness of how they are a portion of a greater
whole. Unlike "civilized" man, they have a constant respect for all life and the balance of Nature.

I feel myself now expand to my second dimensional consciousness. My task is simple. I must survive. I will
protect myself and procreate in the proper season. I look neither forwards nor backwards, and I dwell
only in the present. I am what I am and where I am. I neither plan nor reflect. I live to continue the
existence of my species. If a human consciousness inhabits my form, I am not aware of it. My perceptions
are confined to what I can eat, use, fight, mate with, or rear. However, my "herd" and I are one. Our
instincts guide us, and we are a part of Nature.


Third dimensional consciousness is awareness of point, line, length, breadth, height, and volume. The
primary consciousness of this dimension is the higher Animal Kingdom and the Human Kingdom. The
humanoid form is composed of all the elements of the first and second dimensional being, which are:
water, minerals, genetic coding, and biological matter, as well as an individual soul. It is the individual
Soul that distinguishes humans from the other members of the Animal Kingdom who mostly have a
group Soul.

The third dimension is locked in a time/space and cause/effect paradigm. This dimension is a
schoolroom that our Souls attend by inhabiting humanoid physical bodies to learn more about creation.
In the third dimension, life mirrors all that we are seeking to understand. Therefore, the process of
creating via our thoughts and feelings is slowed down so that we can track the circumstances of what
we hold in our consciousness.

The third dimension is known as the conscious world. However, there are different stages of human
consciousness aligned in a hierarchical manner that often coincide with our age and stage of life.


In the first stage, we are children, and we are dependent on others for our survival. In this state of
dependency we do not realize that our consciousness holds the seeds of the life we are creating. We
believe that we are powerless over our environment and are victims to the circumstances of our lives. It
is our goal to gain enough self-awareness as we mature beyond this child state so that we can become


In the Second Stage we are independent. This independence develops as we learn that we can control
our own life. Through our choices and experiences, we gain trust in our ability to be responsible and we
maintain our responsibility because we respect ourselves. This respect is based upon our sense of
personal power. Without a sense of personal power we are filled with fear which reduces us to


In the Third Stage we are dependable. This dependability develops as we gain enough trust and respect
for ourselves that we can become responsible for others. Through positive experiences, we have learned
that we definitely have an impact, not only on our own life, but also upon the lives of others. Because of
our earned self-esteem, we feel confident that we are reliable.

Unfortunately, people will take responsibility for other people's lives while they are still in the
dependent stage or when they have not yet learned to be responsible even for themselves. These
actions can create generation after generation of dysfunctional families.


As humans we have the ability to remember the past and the future while remaining aware of the
present. However, much of our true SELF becomes lost in our unconscious mind. This loss leaves us with
a feeling of separation from the whole, a fear that we are limited in our ability to achieve our desires,
and a belief that we have to “work hard” to accomplish our goals.

Third dimensional society and "science" seek to prove that the only reality that exists is the one we
perceive with our five physical senses and urges us to believe that our 3D perceptions of reality ARE the
only reality. From this state of consciousness, spirit congeals into matter and our consciousness is
limited to our ego. Hence, the need for the development of a strong sense of ego is often gained at the
cost of losing our sense of group identity. This limitation is especially predominant in the
Western World where individual achievement and possessions often become the most important parts
of our lives.

Awareness of our Spiritual Self can only be remembered when we have expanded our consciousness to
encompass the higher dimensions. Then we can release our dependency upon others and heal our sense
of powerlessness and victimization. We then become independent in a new sense because we have
realized that we and we alone, are creating our reality. We are, thereby, more dependable then ever
because we are not waylaid from our promises and goals by our own "unconscious" self-sabotage.

As we become more aware of the many aspects of our once forgotten self, our consciousness expands
to encompass more than our ego and even more than our third dimensional reality. As we - Our Third
Dimensional Consciousness - expands from: Individual Consciousness TO ~ Group Consciousness TO ~
Community Consciousness TO ~ National Consciousness TO ~ Collective Consciousness TO ~ Planetary
Consciousness TO ~ Galactic Consciousness. As our consciousness expands, so does our definition of the
world in which we live.

I expand my consciousness to the next step. I am three-dimensional. I am aware of myself as an

individual human, but still I struggle for survival. I need to feed myself, shelter myself, and cover my
body. I wish to find a mate and create children. Is there more? Yes, there are feelings and thoughts. With
my thoughts I remember my past. My feelings fill these memories with happiness, pain, love, or fear.
With my thoughts I plan the future which I desire. But do I have the power to create my life or am I a
victim to the world around me?


Fourth dimensional consciousness is awareness of point, length, breadth, height, volume, and time. The
fourth dimension is also known as the Astral Plane, and the primary consciousness of this dimension is
the Astral Body, which is also known as the "higher human." Because of the octave leap in vibration
from third to fourth dimension, the Astral Body is of a higher vibration known as etheric and the fourth
dimensional perception of past, present, and future is more fluid, as the laws of time and space change.

On the fourth dimension, we can reintegrate our group identity without the loss of our personal ego, as
it is the last vibration where physical vehicles are used to contain individual consciousness. However,
because of the fluid nature of time and space our astral forms naturally morph. Hence, there is a huge
mobility of form. It is the realm of the "shape shifters" of which mythology speaks. A shaman or holy
person who can shape shift has learned to ground their astral form upon the third dimension so
completely that they can temporarily change their third dimensional form.

Much of our third dimensional life also exists upon the fourth dimension in a format of a higher
vibration, but we are not aware of it because that reality is NOT in sync with our physical time and
space. We can have a dream of an entire lifetime and wake up to find that only five minutes of our
physical time has passed. Our astral reality, as well as our other physical incarnations, is not perceivable
to our third dimensional self unless we have remembered our Multidimensional Consciousness.

The fourth dimension is the realm which holds the awareness of our body's first and second dimensional
components, as well as all our past experiences of this life and all other third dimensional lives. We can
expand our third dimensional consciousness into the fourth dimension through gaining an awareness of
the inner-workings of our physical body, remembering our dreams, and having intense experiences of
passion, emotion, creativity, and/or spirituality.

The Astral Plane is the realm of dream life. When we are "asleep", we are unconscious in the third
dimension, but we are conscious in the fourth dimension. Our fourth dimensional Astral Body possesses
advanced dreaming, imagination, psychic ability, intuition, magic, and creativity. As we expand our mind
to frequency of the fourth dimension, we can experience more and more of these qualities while in our
physical form.

Some people are born with an innate connection to their fourth dimensional self and must "work" to
ground their consciousness in a third dimensional world that often feels foreign and hostile. Others are
born without this awakened connection, and they usually feel more comfortable and "at home" within
the third dimensional paradigm. These people often feel cut off from the higher dimensional portions of
themselves and may not even believe that "higher selves" even exist.

However, our astral body does exist and its highest vibration is our Spiritual Guidance. Much like a
person upon a mountaintop can observe and guide the residents of the valley below, our higher astral
self can observe us upon the third dimension and give us guidance. Through the expanded perception of
our fourth dimensional self we can create great changes in our physical world.

However, the fourth dimension still has the polarization of light and dark, and this realm is not
necessarily more loving, especially upon the lower sub-planes. Upon the fourth dimension, thought and
feelings create reality much more quickly than upon the third dimension, and fear can create evil as
easily as love can create beauty and joy.


There are different planes, which are increases in frequency, which we can access by expanding our
conscious. The Lower Astral Plane holds the invisible emanations of all the fear and negativity that is
projected into it from the physical plane. The Lower Astral has been known as Hell, with Purgatory being
above that. Fourth dimensional consciousness feeds into and extends third dimensional emotions.
Therefore, it is often known as the "realm of emotion". The Lower Astral, which holds the third
dimension's negative emotions, is not a pleasant experience and a path must be forged through it into
the higher sub-planes-such as Faerie.

The Land of Faerie, which we read about as children in our "Fairy Tales", actually exists upon the middle
fourth dimension. Faerie acts as respite after we have forged our pathway through the fear and
darkness of the Lower Astral Plane. After we have experienced Faerie, we can travel in our fourth
dimensional consciousness (or fourth dimensional bodies) into the Emotional Plane, also known as the
Astral Plane, to learn about the master of our emotions. From there, we can travel up into the Mental
Plane to learn mastery of our thoughts. In the Causal Plane, also known as the Higher Mental Plane, we
can learn the cause and effect of how thoughts and feelings create our world. The Spiritual
Plane connects us to the higher guidance of our I AM Presence.

One of the maps (there are many maps) of the sub-planes of the fourth dimensions with the highest
vibration on the top is:

CAUSAL/SPIRITUAL: learn laws of cause and effect and Spiritual Guidance

MENTAL: learn mastery over our thoughts
ASTRAL/EMOTIONAL: learn mastery over emotions
LAND OF FAERIE: overlaps emotional, mental, and causal plane
LOWER ASTRAL: learn mastery over dark side - i.e. fear and negative emotions

ETHERIC: interface between third and fourth dimension

The fourth dimension is like a stream that creates a bridge into the higher dimensions. The base of the
bridge is where the physical and astral bodies overlap. This area is known as the Etheric Body.

The Etheric Body is of a vibration between the third and fourth dimension. This body encompasses the
physical body and extends beyond it a few inches.


Each of the sub-planes of the fourth dimension has a correlate

body, with every body resonating to a higher vibration than
the latter.

The Emotional Body, also known as the Astral Body, is higher

in vibration than the etheric and physical bodies and extends
beyond them.

Overlaid on the lower frequency bodies is the Mental Body,

which is also of higher vibration, and extends beyond the
Emotional Body.

Then the Causal Body, again another increase in vibration,

overlays the other bodies and extends beyond the Mental Body.

Finally, there is the Spiritual Body, the “I AM Presence,” which is the highest in vibration and extends
beyond all the other bodies. The I AM Presence is the guardian to the Rainbow Bridge, which crosses
over into the fifth dimension.

All the fourth dimensional bodies exist over, under, around, and through the physical body, but they
cannot be seen by our five physical senses. If we can perceive the fourth dimension consciously, we can
expand our awareness enough to cross the Rainbow Bridge into our Superconscious Mind of the fifth

We navigate out travel into and through the fourth dimension with our desires, thoughts, and emotions.
A metaphor of this would be sailing the ocean. We are the boat, the ocean is the Astral Plane, the
location we wish to reach is our desire, our thoughts are the sail and the steering, and the wind is our

If our emotions are fearful and tumultuous we will have an uncomfortable ride. Even though our desire
is for the higher planes of the fourth dimension, our personal imbalance will limit our entry to the Lower
Astral Plane where fear, which is the lack of emotional balance, rules. If we wish to journey to the higher
planes of the fourth dimension we must keep our thoughts harmonious and our feelings centered in the
infinite balance of love. In that manner, eventually, we can experience all the planes of the fourth
dimension. Then our I AM Presence can lead us across the Bridge into the fifth dimension and beyond.

I step into the fourth dimension. I see my connection to all of life and to my third dimensional selves on
the step below me. However, I still experience myself as an individual. My reality is very mutable now.
Persons and places change quickly, but I am aware that it is my thoughts and feelings that dictate these
experiences. My fearful thoughts create frightening situations, and my loving thoughts bring me
happiness. If I follow my fear, I go down into a world of torment and sorrow. However, if I follow love, I
see a Rainbow Bridge of Light.


Fifth dimensional consciousness is awareness of length, breadth, height, time, and spirit. All life upon
the fifth dimension lives in the Unity Consciousness of Spirit, but there is still an experience of "I" as an
individual member of the group. Linear time and space do not bind consciousness here, and there is NO
illusion of separation or limitation. Instead, there is a constant experience of the Oness of
God/Goddess/All That Is.

The primary consciousness of this dimension is androgynous, stellar beings living in Lightbodies. These
Lightbodies are light based rather than our carbon based physical bodies. Our Lightbodies have the
awareness of our lower selves without the physical limitations. These forms have no need for pain to
learn their lessons. Therefore, they do not need the protection and warning signals of the physical body.
Our fifth dimensional selves have integrated the lessons that their lower dimensional selves are learning
through the experiences of "Schoolroom Earth," and do not need physical suffering to learn.

All actions on this plane are based upon love because, just as a dead leaf cannot survive the higher
vibration of a fire, fear cannot survive the higher vibration of the fifth dimension. If we were to
experience fear while in the fifth dimension, our vibration would drop and our consciousness would
instantly be lowered to the lower sub-planes of the fourth dimension. It is only within the consciousness
of fifth dimensional Unconditional Love that we can maintain a conscious connection with our Spirit

On the fifth dimension, experience, creation, and travel are created in harmony with the Divine Will of
God/Goddess/All That Is. Every being, place, situation, or location that is desired becomes instantly
manifest. If we do choose the experience of movement, it feels like a combination of flying and treading
water. Our Lightbodies, like our fourth dimensional bodies, are mutable and can easily change form. Just
as we can change our location or experience with our desire, we can also change the form of the "body"
that surrounds our consciousness.

The fifth dimension is the beginning of ascension. Hence, all consciousness there is naturally
multidimensional. The awareness of the fourth and third dimension are as automatic as looking at our
hands and feet. Since there is no sense of separation, we can experience our third and fourth
dimensional realities within the same moment that we are experiencing our fifth dimensional

Because there is no feeling of limitation, we can easily believe that we are "alive" and "conscious" within
many different vibratory rates. Just as our third dimensional consciousness is aware that we are also
made of the minerals, water, genetic codes, and biological matter of the first and second dimension, our
fifth dimensional self is aware that we are also third and fourth dimensional beings.

On the fifth dimension we live in Unconditional Love, Unconditional Forgiveness, and Unconditional
Acceptance. We hold no judgment, guilt, or negativity towards the "lower" portions of ourselves that
are striving to remember our "Higher Selves". In fact, our fifth dimensional self serves as a guide to the
lower aspects of our consciousness, as well as to others.

There are also sub-planes of the fifth dimension, but awareness of, and therefore writings about, them
are minimal. It has been my experience that there is a threshold upon which we wait for our Divine
Complement. Our Divine Complement, also known as our Twin Flame, is the opposite polarity of our
integrated male/female androgynous Lightbody that was split off from us when we took embodiment in
the lower dimensions.

I am upon the step of the fifth dimension and see that there are many steps above me. I am aware of and
united with the portions of myself upon the lower steps, as well as my other fifth dimensional realities.
Love and fear, beauty and ugliness, are only polarities of a single concept. I live in unity with the male
and female expressions of my being. I have learned to Unconditionally Love, Unconditionally Accept, and
Unconditionally Forgive all life and the portions of that life that I identify as myself. I have a sense of
personal identity within the unity of All That Is. My thoughts and feelings are instantly manifested, and
my body of Light lives forever in the NOW.

All five dimensions exist within, are a portion of, and emanate from, our third dimensional body. We are
a vessel that we fill with our own multidimensional universe.
As we become aware of the five dimensions of ourselves, we can become conscious of their relationship
to each other. Then we can begin to understand how the many dimensions of ourselves integrate within
our conscious, unconscious and superconscious awareness. (see below charts)

Many ancient prophesies, current books, and other web sites speak of a great shift that our planet, in
fact our entire galaxy, is about to undergo. These prophecies say that the third dimension is collapsing
into the fourth and fifth dimension. As a metaphor, think of a travel cup with the smallest bottom
section of the cup being the third dimension, the middle section of the cup being the fourth dimension,
and the largest top section of the cup being the fifth dimension.

If you were to partially collapse the cup, the bottom section (third dimension) would be surrounded by
the middle (fourth dimension) with the top section (fifth dimension) just above it. However, if you were
to completely collapse the cup you would see the bottom section (third dimension) surrounded first by
the middle (fourth dimension) and then by the top section (fifth dimension).

If these prophecies are correct, if we are collapsing into the higher dimensions of ourselves, how can we
be conscious of this process? How can we help both our selves and others? Perhaps if we can each take
personal responsibility for raising our own consciousness we can assist in raising the consciousness of
our group, nation, planet, and galaxy. Could one person have that much power? Perhaps, as we raise
our individual consciousness, we will realize that we are not "just one person."

Regardless of whether or not we are moving into the next dimension, our third dimensional Earth is
suffering from our disregard for Her body. We are running out of unpolluted "space" and running out of
"time" to repair the damage we have done. If we don't raise our consciousness, if we remain
"unconscious" of our physical destructive behavior and "unconscious" of how we create our world with
our thoughts and feelings, we may not have a "Schoolroom Earth" for our higher dimensional selves to

We must awaken NOW. We must remember our true multidimensional nature so that our
UNCONSCIOUS, CONSCIOUS, and SUPERCONSCIOUS selves can merge into the Multidimensional
Consciousness that is our innate heritage and true foundation. We are a vessel of light, and our LIGHT is



point point & line point, line, point, line, point,

length, breadth, length, line,breadth,
AWARENESS height, & breadth, length, volume,
volume height, time & spirit
volume & time

mineral plants, higher animals higher human androgynous

PRIMARY kingdom biological & humans astral body lightbody
CONSCIOUSNESS creatures w/o

none none individual awareness of awareness of

awareness & self & all 3D self, all 5D
ego lives lives, all 4D
lives & all 3D

conscious to conscious to conscious only unconscious unconscious to

HUMAN'S 5 external senses external to CNS--5 senses to this plane this plane
PHYSICAL unconscious to unconscious to indicate reality until unless
SENSES internal senses internal awakened awakened
doorway is
body &

mineral, water, lower brain entire humanoid etheric & light matrix &
PORTIONS OF genetic coding autonomic NS form + all the astral form + meridians of
PHYSICAL BODY life support + above all the above physical form +
all the above all the above

no awareness instincts & time/space past, time/space is no time or

of body clock present & future mutable & space only
TIME different from Nowness
3D Hereness &

no awareness survival of polarization of still no polarization

of species light and dark polarization of unconditional
LAWS AND cause/effect light & dark love,
PRINCIPLES time/space & still forgiveness &
work cause/effect & acceptance

no travel instinctual only use will to take desire location desired

except within time to travel and fly or location &
physical body across space morph reality experience
to get there instantly
manifest or

slow procreation for procreation to sex for magic sex is merging

metamorphosis survival of love making and with Twin
into form species nest thoughts & lovemaking Flame reality
CREATIVITY AND building & feelings slowly reality quickly instantly
SEXUALITY some tool create reality created by created by
making thoughts, thoughts &
feelings & feelings

foundation for life, beauty guide to lower guide to 3D Higher Self to

SERVICE physical planet food chain beings & self assist 4D & 3D selves
and body balance Earth's newly dead balance
SUB-PLANES mineral atoms single cells to higher animal to lower astral to 5 D threshold
WITHIN THE to crystals mammals dependable self- causal plane to threshold to
DIMENSION realized human Soul



1. external inhabitants of 1. internal components of 1. all inhabitants of 3D-5D

first dimension i.e.: rocks first dimension i.e.: simultaneously
and crystals water, minerals, genetic
coding of body
2. external components of 2. all inhabitants of 3D-5D
2. external inhabitants of second dimension i.e.: simultaneously
second dimension i.e.:
life support of autonomic
plants and insects nervous system
3. all inhabitants of 3D-5D
1 3. animal component of 3D simultaneously
3. animals in external world self
4. the "knowing"
1 4. instincts and intuition
5. Higher Self
4. intellect and reason 5. inner self
6. every thought & feeling
5. ego/outer self 6. self-talk and repressed because it is instantly
emotions manifest
6. willful thoughts and
reactive emotions 1 7. all information relayed to
7. nervous system stimuli all members of 5D Unity
1 Consciousness
that is not consciously
7. pertinent information attended to i.e.: reflexive 1
relayed to brain by movement, & 1
central nervous system information from 1
i.e.: conscious, willful autonomic nervous 1
movement, &information system 1
that you do not desire to
touch, taste, see, hear, or 8. collective reality chosen
smell to be experienced
8. realities that are not
8. reality that is observed observable with 5 senses 9. all memories of all
with 5 senses experiences of 1D to 5D
9. memories of unconscious
9. memories of conscious experiences i.e.:
experience i.e.: experiences not attended 1
experiences attended to to when they happened
when they happened 10. memories of all past,
10. memories of past present,& future
10. memory of past experiences i.e.: experiences of 3D & 4D
experiences i.e.: pleasant repressed, unpleasant
memories memories 1

1 11. many emotional needs of 11. emotional needs

past & present self & instantly manifest into
11. some emotional needs of reality
inner child
present self
12. locations that were NOT 1
1 consciously attended to 12. each location that is
12. locations which were while traveling there thought of is instantly
consciously attended to 13. cause and effect of experienced
while traveling there
unconscious actions 13. cause & effect are
13. cause and effect of merged into instant
14. emotional need for sex
conscious actions experience
14. physical need for sex 14. sex is a need to merge
15. unintentional effect upon into Oneness
1 lover
15. all love is intentional &
15. intentional effect upon 16. goals achieved by unconditional
lover intention & desire
16. goals are Divine Will
16. goals achieved by "work" 17. past, emotionally based
desire for goal 1
17. NO ego based desires,
17. present, ego based desire 1 emotions instantly
for goal 18. thoughts & feelings manifested
1 create reality
18. reality chosen by
18. "hard work" creates 19. unconscious physical thoughts & feelings
body sensations, etheric
reality double, astral body, 19. sensations of all 3D-5D
higher human "bodies"
20. most dream & their
19. some sensations of meanings
physical body 20. dreams are 4D way of
21. imagination, instincts, communicating
latent creativity
21. Divine Purpose
20. some dreams & their
22. information from higher,
meaning inner senses i.e.: ESP, 1

21. purposeful intention psychic ability 22. information of all 3D, 4D

23. communication by & 5D lives
telepathy, empathy, 1
22. information from 5 intuition & visual cues of
physical senses body language 23. communication via
merging into experience
1 24. past lives, past deaths, of Oness
past and present birth
23. communication via 1
hearing & some visual 25. spiritual guides &
input mentors 24. all 3D, 4D past, present &
future lives
25. guides & mentors within
24. present life 26. etheric & astral body and above fifth
1 27. time/space paradigm dimension

25. physical guides & 28. collective consciousness 26. Lightbody & Soul body
mentors 27. Nowness
29. Communication with All
1 That IS 28. Unity Consciousness
26. physical body 30. freedom from physical 29. Oneness with All That Is
27. present physical time 1
31. Reality of
28. individual consciousness 30. freedom from all
God/Goddess/All That Is
29. separate individuals limitations
32. Divine Complement in 5D
1 world 1

30. limitations of everyday 33. true identity of human 31. merging with
mate God/Goddess/All That Is
life 34. true love, true 32. merging with Divine
forgiveness, true Complement
1 acceptance i.e.: I love
33. awareness of 5D self of
31. concept of God you truly
all human mates
1 1
34. Unconditional Love,
32. physical mate in 3D 35. awareness of ALL 3D Unconditional
world LIVES, & present 4D life Forgiveness,
1 36. awareness of Spirit Acceptance for others &
present internal for self
33. outer identity of human components of first
mate dimension i.e.: water, 35. awareness of all 3D, 4D,
minerals, genetic coding & 5D lives
34. conditional love,
of body
conditional forgiveness, 36. awareness of Soul
conditional acceptance
i.e.: I will love you if you…

35. awareness of this 3D life

36. awareness of human self

We can think of our unconscious like a deep pond. The surface of the pond is visible to our conscious
self and we can interact with it by swimming, fishing, or wading. We have little awareness of what lies
hidden at the bottom of the pond. Things of a higher vibration, such as a leaf or a feather, float on the
surface of the pond, but things of a lower vibration, like a rock, sink to the bottom of the pond.
However, even the feather and the leaf may eventually sink to the bottom of the pond over time.

Our happy experiences and memories are of a higher vibration because they are filled with love and can
float on the surface of our consciousness. On the other hand, our unhappy experiences and memories
are of a lower vibration because they are filled with fear. These fearful memories and experiences sink
to the bottom of the depths of our unconscious, our lower astral plane. Just as the bottom of a pond is
murky and obscured so is our deepest unconscious. To clear our old feelings of fear, guilt and shame we
must enter the water of our unconscious to rescue these portions of our psyche that are trapped there.
I turned to walk away, but with my very first step I knew that I must stay. If I could not see what was in
the pond, maybe I would have to feel it. Maybe, I would have to actually enter the pond and feel its dark
waters upon me.

The thought of entering the murky water made me cringe. Should I keep my clothes on as some meager
attempt at protection or should I enter the water as naked as the day I was born?

I knew the answer. I must face the depths without any external protection. I must find my protection in
the courage that it would take to enter the murky pond. Courage, which was deep within my core,
would be my only protection to face the darkness and the secrets that it held.

I shed my clothes quickly, before I lost my nerve, and jumped into the foreboding pond. I held my breath
and immediately dove to the bottom. I navigated with my arms, as I was not quite ready to open my

When I touched the bottom of the pond, I knew that I must open my eyes while I still had enough air in
my lungs to remain at the bottom. A vision of muck and grime awaited my opening eyes. But what was
that-just over there?

Something golden was sparkling against the surrounding filth. Oh it must be rescued, I thought. It does
not belong here. This golden thing is different from the dirt that surrounds it.

I swam to the golden sparkle and wiped the mud from its surface. The dark mud hovered in the water,
waiting to again cover the golden object. I reached for the treasure with the intention of bringing it to
the surface, but found that it was held fast to the bottom of the pond. I pulled and pulled, but it did not

Finally, I stood on the silt-covered bottom to gather enough resistance to free the bit of gold. My toes
squished into the sticky mud and my struggle filled the water with silt. I had to close my eyes to protect
them and pulled upon the golden object while I pushed against the floor of the pond.

Yet nothing worked and I was running out of oxygen. Would I have to abandon the treasure that lay
hidden in the murky pond's depths? I stood still for a moment and released my hold on the golden
object. It instantly sank back into the mire.

Only a small portion of it glistened through the filthy water. With shame, I realized that I could not free
the treasure. Then I remembered that it had been my intention to "feel" the water. Yes, now I felt it. It
felt like shame, and guilt, and most of all, it felt like fear.
The fear permeated every rock and every atom of the pond. No wonder that which was beautiful could
not be freed. As I stopped my struggle, the mud that had filled the water began to settle-settle onto me.

I felt it clawing at my skin reminding me of feelings that I had felt outside of the dark pond. NO! I must
leave these depths and the feelings that they aroused in me. I could not save the treasure. I would have
to leave it in the murky depths.

Besides, I could hold my breath no longer. I must return to the surface. The thought of escape felt good
and necessary. I swam to the surface with a mixture of relief and sadness, relief that I could free myself
from the silt and sadness that I could not free the hidden treasure.

My head bobbed above the surface of the pond and a cool rain rinsed the dirt off my face. I swam to
the edge of the pond and pulled myself onto a rock. Standing, I allowed the gentle rain to cleanse my
body. The feel of the fresh water upon my skin rejuvenated and calmed me.

The mud of the pond was easily cleared, for it was never mine. I realized then that the filth of the pond
was something that I had temporarily taken on, temporarily experienced.

I looked at the pond again. It seemed clearer now. The mud that I had stirred up had again settled to
the bottom. I remembered the bit of gold that was still trapped there. How could I free it?

I would have to again enter the murky pond and swim down into its darkest depth. Could I remember
my own purity, even when the mud clung to my form? Could I find the bit of gold hidden beneath the
silt and bring it to the surface?

"Yes," I cried to the sun that was breaking through the clouds. "I shall find what has been lost. That
which has been buried and forgotten shall be found and returned.

“Something of great value is lost in the depths of the darkness, and I must retrieve it."

It is a New World that we walk into. This New World is filled with challenges that we can't yet imagine.
We have told ourselves that if there were no fear and conflict that life would be easy. However, is it easy
to learn how to hold the consciousness of a cloud?

We have worn these earthen bodies for so many third dimensional lives that we have forgotten the
myriad of forms that our consciousness can create to define and protect us. We have defined ourselves
as human and learned to protect ourselves with battle and prayer. However, we could not protect
ourselves from each other. We humans have always been our own greatest enemy.
What will it be like when we are fifth dimensional and there are NO polarities, NO teachers, NO saviors,
and NO enemies?

How will it feel when we hold all polarities within our form?

How will it feel when we are male and female, together in an androgynous Lightbody?

If we can IMAGINE how it will feel, if we can REMEMBER how it has felt, it will hasten our
transformation. However, in order to remember the feeling of our true multidimensional selves, we will
also have to rewrite the old mental programs of limitation and separation.

We created these programs during our many third dimensional lives. These programs will not allow us to
believe that we deserve the light that has come into our bodies. Because we don’t believe we deserve
the Light, we cannot use it to create the life that we truly DO desire.

To release these old programs of fear and limitation, we will journey into our deep unconscious. We will
enter the murky pool of repressed pain and fear, so that we can rescue those portions of ourselves that
have become trapped there. Down we will go into our deepest unconscious, into our first and second
dimensional bodies.

We will journey into our humanoid animal and into our genetic coding. Then we will enter our lower
astral self, which is the storehouse of our deepest hidden darkness. We will have the courage to travel
there because we KNOW that we are NOT "just physical".

We know that we are pure consciousness and the bodies that hold our consciousness are in need of
repair. Mental programs and emotional beliefs were learned a long time ago when we were children.
That is, we were children either in our years or in our awareness. Now we will step across the threshold
of our unconscious and into our deepest self.

Programs that once protected us have become limitations. We are ready to rewrite or release them.
When these old programs were created, we did not have the power to deal with the situations at hand.

Hence, we had to create a defense mechanism so that we could protect ourselves enough to survive a
situation that was beyond our control. However, we now know that these defense mechanisms were
like training wheels, which allowed us to “get by” until we could learn to ride through life without them.

We are ready NOW to travel down the seven stairs into our deepest core so that we can rewrite
programs of fear and helplessness and replace them with programs of love and power.
We journey down the seven steps into our deepest

Step 7
Faith gives you courage to
enter your unconscious

Step 6
The vision of your dreams and
aspirations leads you down the

Step 5
The need to communicate with yourself
drives you on

Step 4
The need to form a loving relationship with yourself
encourages you to continue

Step 3
Your thoughts loose focus as you feel the power struggles of
your ego
Step 2
Your emotions come upon you like a sudden storm and end just as

Step 1
You are on the threshold of your repressed past and the core of your present

We see before us we see a hallway with six doors, which are marked:

We enter this realm with caution and patience. Patterns that are stored in this region have been hidden
from our conscious mind for a long time. Now we are strong enough to return to these lost portions of
our past so that we can experience and release what is now a lost memory.

These forgotten experiences and feelings hold within them the force that once forced us to bury them.
When we bring these dark memories into the light, we will regain the power that was lost long ago
when we were afraid. Then, we can use that power to heal the faulty programs that those painful
memories created ~ FOREVER!

The red doors represent the most repressed portions of our psyche and the most primal level of our
consciousness that is our first and second dimensional self. Here is the threshold to our lower astral
plane that is the repository of our deepest fear and pain, our dark side. Our dark side is the part of
ourselves that we have judged as "bad".

Behind these doors hides the repressed thoughts and feelings that we had to push far away from our
conscious mind. We pushed these memories away because we did not feel that we had the strength to
deal with the situations that caused them.

However, these repressed memories, thoughts, and emotions have become embedded in the
molecules and DNA of our cellular structure, our first and second dimensional selves. Our body then
tries to display to us the reactions to these memories that our mind has denied.

Behind the red doors, our body, emotions, mind, and spirituality are like four strangers. Each one holds
their pain without the belief that they are alone and isolated from all caring and support.

The first door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Forgotten memories of fear, shame, sorrow, and anger give our bodies the message
that there is a threat and that there is something, somewhere, that we should be afraid
of. This constant message of impending fear creates anxiety that disorients us and puts
our bodies into fight/flight response.

Sometimes the unseen battle is too much for us and we become depressed. In our depression we try to
close ourselves off to external stimulation, but the pain comes from the inside and we can't run from
ourselves. Our immune system becomes depressed from the chronic stress, and our health suffers.

We feel like animals who are struggling to survive. Unfortunately, we are so filled with fear that we are
even cut off from the survival instincts that are innate in our primitive self. Life becomes a constant,
lonely struggle to make it one more day. Our sex drive, if we still have one, is only a selfish urge or a
desperate need.

The second door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Emotions from our fourth dimensional astral body interface with our physical bodies via
our hormones and biochemistry. Since these dark feelings cannot be accessed by our
conscious mind, our body's discomfort at keeping these secrets is projected to our
consciousness as an illness.

These hidden emotions create an overall sense of dread that feels like a heaviness upon our bodies and
a floating anxiety which keeps us hyper-vigilant, jumpy and nervous. Depression numbs our emotions,
makes us eat and sleep too much, not enough, or at the wrong time.

Then our bodies are even more uncomfortable. We feel like the victim of our emotions and sex is a
desperate need for love or the conquest of a failing ego. In a vain attempt to control our emotions we
seek out drugs and alcohol. Each substance creates a certain "emotional feeling" and temporarily serves
the purpose of dampening the emotions that constantly haunt us.

The third door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our thoughts are out of control and without focus as negative and obsessive thinking
overtakes our free will. Out of control thinking reinforces our feeling of being a victim.
Problem oriented thinking creates a downward spiral with no hope of resolution.
Unbidden thoughts come into our mind, which punish us with old core beliefs about
the inadequacy of our being.

Our thoughts make us feel separate from everyone and everything and limit us from achieving our
desires. Therefore, our moral principles and codes of right and wrong are debased to a state of war with
the world around us. We give ourselves permission to do anything because we are separate from
society. However, we are all "herd animals" and soon find another "society" where using drugs and
alcohol, having "fun", and "doing whatever we want", rules.

The fourth door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed: Our behavior mirrors our dark side. But how
does a child know that they are bad if someone doesn't tell them? How can a child
learn to distinguish between good and bad if they are told that everything that they do
is bad? The unconscious memories of childhood's painful situations bring forward the
defense mechanisms that we created in our childish efforts to survive.

The behaviors that are initiated from this portion of our unconscious are a reaction to a
reality that exists only in our fears. While we are in this state of consciousness, our doubts and fears
create a gray filter that alters all our perceptions. We see an enemy everywhere we look. Therefore, we
believe that we are justified in our selfish and self-serving actions. The drugs that we have

chosen to "help" us have now become our masters and getting more of them becomes the predominant
action in our life.

Because of our inner battle we have an unconscious need for domination. We create obsessive-
compulsive and ritualistic behaviors in a vain attempt to protect ourselves from our unseen enemies.
Because we react to what we fear we saw, or heard, we miss many beautiful moments and our
defensive behavior reflects our constant sense of victimization. Our out of control behavior is a self-
sabotage as we create the very thing we fear-over and over again.

The fifth door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our failed or forgotten goals reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and inability to
succeed. Lost dreams and aspirations haunt our daytime and cause nightmares when
we can finally sleep. These nightmares are our deepest unconscious crying out for
comfort and support, but we have become the cry and cannot perceive of ourselves as
a system for support.

Our self-esteem reaches its all time low as our lost aspirations reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and
inability to succeed. If only a small speck of light could enter our darkness and show us to our Higher

The sixth door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Finally, when we can no longer stand our fear and pain, we fall to our knees to ask for
guidance. Then perhaps, if even for a moment, we can feel the long arm of love as it
reaches through our fear and self-pity. But a moment is all that is needed to accept guidance from the
realm beyond time. Through our fears, our sorrows, our anger, and our pain, the hand of LOVE seeks to
comfort and ease our tortured heart and weary mind.

If we can open ourselves to this love, if we can believe that we DO deserve this love, then we CAN allow
it into our hearts. Then we WILL be able to accept the love that has been offered. When love from our
Self is in our lives, we can begin to sincerely love others and to allow others to intimately love us. When
we have released the fear and chosen love, the cycle is completed.

The first red door is marked: PHYSICAL BODY

We go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
“The physical body displays emotions that the mind had hidden.” Forgotten memories of fear, shame,
sorrow, and anger give our bodies the message that there is a threat and that there is something,
somewhere, that we should be afraid of.

This constant message of impending danger creates anxiety that disorients us and puts our bodies into
fight/flight response. Sometimes the unseen battle is too much for us and we become depressed. In our
depression we try to close ourselves off to external stimulation, but the pain comes from the inside and
we can't run from ourselves.

Our immune system becomes depressed from the chronic stress and our health suffers. We feel like
animals that are struggling to survive. Unfortunately, we are so filled with fear that we are even cut off
from the survival instincts that are innate in our primitive self. Life becomes a constant, lonely struggle
to make it one more day. Our sex drive, if we still have one, is only a selfish urge or a desperate need.

Our immune system becomes depressed from the chronic stress and our health suffers. We feel like
animals that are struggling to survive. Unfortunately, we are so filled with fear that we are even cut off
from the survival instincts that are innate in our primitive self. Life becomes a constant, lonely struggle
to make it one more day. Our sex drive, if we still have one, is only a selfish urge or a desperate need.

The physical body displays emotions that the mind has hidden.

The physical body door represents our first and second dimensional self, which is our physical "animal"
body, and all the cells, minerals, genetic programming that make up that body. The first and second
dimensions are of a lower vibration than our third dimensional form and are therefore usually a part of
our unconscious reality.
This door also represents our Lower Astral sub-plane of the fourth dimension
because our first and second dimensional selves are our most primitive and
primal selves. The first and second dimension represents the part of us that is
not self-aware and subsequently not aware of the ramifications of our actions.

When we are not aware of the impact that we have on others, we can give
ourselves permission to act in very selfish and self-centered ways. These actions
then resonate in the lower astral plane where they come to our 15
consciousness as fears and nightmares.

When we become conscious of the message of our physical body, our physical
earth vessel can prepare for the return Home to our true vibration. This preparation includes the
acknowledging and releasing of old darkness that has been stored within our bodies, often since we
were children.


Once we have journeyed into our deepest unconscious and have touched our darkness, we can return it
to the Light. However, this process of bringing our darkness into the light is one of introspection and
learning to become friends with ourselves, and with our Multidimensional SELF. Like all friendships, this
one begins with communication, and good communication begins with listening.

How do we learn to listen to our "self?” Most of us barely listen to our conscious thoughts and feelings.
Therefore, subliminal thoughts and repressed emotions are total strangers to us. Fortunately, our
physical bodies can assist us. Our physical body is our earth vessel and the vessel that our Soul visits
earth in. Our earth vessel is made up of the same elements as the planet that we are on. This ship is
biological and all steering and controls are connected to our consciousness via our nervous system.

We have made many visits to third and fourth dimensional earth. The memories of these adventures are
stored in the hard drive along with all the steering and control mechanisms. This hard drive is located in
the first and second dimensional elements of the body and the part of us that can access this
information is our fourth dimensional astral bodies. If we can learn to "consciously" communicate with
our astral body, we can download that information into our third dimensional physical brains.

When we are ready to return Home to our Source, especially if we wish to maintain connection with our
physical earth vessel, we must have access to the data stored in this hard drive. We must find a way to
interface between the vessel (physical body), the pilot (the ego), and the higher dimensional forces that
can communicate across all frequencies (the Soul).

When this interface has been completed, the Soul can inhabit the earth vessel and pilot its return Home.
In order for this journey to be successful, our Soul must totally imbed itself in and integrate with our
physical earth vessel. Since our Soul is multidimensional, it can access all the messages that are received
by and stored in the first, second and fourth dimensional unconscious. The Soul can then "download"
that information into our third dimensional consciousness.

However, first the pilot (our egos) will have to completely surrender all "control" to our Souls because
our limited third dimensional consciousness is incapable of perceiving the myriad of messages that are
necessary to complete our journey. All reality below the fifth dimension is programmed for separation,
limitation, and polarity. The only way to consciously pilot our vessel into the limitless ONESS of the fifth
dimensions is to allow our Soul to enter into and captain our vessel.

The only route of return our ego knows is "death". Death is a form of separation, just like birth. When
we are "born", our Soul allows a portion of itself to go through the frequency filter that holds our galaxy
in the third dimension. This frequency filter allows only first, second, third and fourth dimensional
molecules to pass through. The fourth dimensional portion of us interfaces with the fifth dimension via
our Soul and it interfaces with the third dimensional portion of ourselves via our etheric body.


The etheric body, also known as the etheric double, is the vehicle through which the stream of vitality
that keeps our physical bodies alive flows. It is the etheric body that interfaces our physical body with
our astral body. The fourth dimensional astral body can then integrate with our fifth dimensional
Lightbody. The etheric body serves as a bridge that conveys the invisible undulations of thought and
feeling from the astral world to the visible, denser physical world. To clairvoyant vision, the etheric
double is a faintly luminous violet-gray mist that interpenetrates and slightly extends beyond the
physical body about 1/4 of an inch.

The etheric double is not separate from the physical body nor does it have a separate consciousness.
The etheric body solely receives and distributes the vital forces which emanate from the Sun and
distributes them to the physical body via the chakra system. Every solid, liquid, and gaseous particle of
the body is surrounded with an etheric envelope. Like the physical body, the etheric body ages, decays,
dies and releases the Soul.

The etheric body has two functions. One function is to absorb prana (also known as chi) and distribute it
to the physical body. The other function is to act as a bridge between the physical and astral body. Prana
is a Sanskrit word which means, "to breathe". According to Occult science, there are three forces
released from the Sun. One is electricity, the other is prana, and the third is the Kundalini, or Serpent

These three forces are distinct and cannot be converted into each other. The uses of electricity are well
known to our Western world, but only those who are familiar with the esoteric philosophies and Eastern
medicine are aware of prana and Kundalini.

Prana, which emanates from the Sun, enters the physical atoms that float about the earth's atmosphere.
Prana is directly relational to the Sun. On sunny days there is more prana in the atmosphere, but on
cloudy days and at night there is less. Prana is the force that interfaces with the third and fourth

Prana forms into vitality globules that cause physical atoms to glow when it enters them. The
combination of balanced feelings and clear thinking causes a reaction in the body that allows it to
assimilate more prana. Prana is known as the force of vitality and the "life breath" of an organism.

Prana allows the astral body to communicate with the physical body by means of the etheric double or
sheath. Through the etheric sheath, the prana runs along the nerves of the physical body amplifying its
perception by uniting the fourth dimensional astral world with the third dimensional physical world.
Prana enters our etheric body, and eventually our physical body, through the chakras.

The physical body displays emotions that the mind has hidden.

The physical body door represents our first and second dimensional self, which is
our physical "animal" body, and all the cells, minerals, genetic programming that
make up that body. The first and second dimensions are of a lower vibration than
our third dimensional form and are therefore usually a part of our unconscious

This door also represents our Lower Astral sub-plane of the fourth dimension
because our first and second dimensional selves are our most primitive and primal
selves. The first and second dimension represents the part of us that is not self-
aware and subsequently not aware of the ramifications of our actions. When we
are not aware of the impact that we have on others, we can give ourselves permission to act in very
selfish and self-centered ways. These actions then resonate in the lower astral plane where they come
to our consciousness as fears and nightmares.

When we become conscious of the message of our physical body, our physical earth-ship can prepare
for the return Home to our true vibration. This preparation includes the acknowledging and releasing of
old darkness that has been stored within our bodies, often since we were children.


Once we have journeyed into our deepest unconscious and we have touched our darkness, we can
return it to the Light. However, this process of bringing our darkness into the light is one of introspection
and learning to become friends with ourselves-and with our SELF. Like all friendships, this one begins
with communication and good communication begins with listening. How do we learn to listen to our
"self"? Most of us barely listen to our conscious thoughts and feelings. Therefore, subliminal thoughts
and repressed emotions are total strangers to us. Fortunately, our physical bodies can assist us.

Our physical body is our earth-ship and the vessel that our Soul visits earth in. Our earth-ship is made up
of the same elements as the planet that we are on. This ship is biological and all steering and controls
are connected to our consciousness via our nervous system. We have made many visits to third and
fourth dimensional earth. The memories of these adventures are stored in the hard drive along with all
the steering and control mechanisms. This hard drive is located in the first and second dimensional
elements of the body and the part of us that can access this information is our fourth dimensional astral
bodies. If we can learn to "consciously" communicate with our astral body, we can download that
information into our third dimensional physical brains.

When we are ready to return Home to our Source, especially if we wish to maintain connection with our
physical earth-ship, we must have access to the data stored in this hard drive. We must find a way to
interface between the vessel (physical body), the pilot (the ego), and the higher dimensional forces that
can communicate across all frequencies (the Soul). When this interface has been completed, the Soul
can inhabit the earth-vessel and pilot its return Home. In order for this journey to be successful, our Soul
must totally imbed itself in and integrate with our physical earth-ship. Since our Soul is
multidimensional, it can access all the messages that are received by and stored in the first, second and
fourth dimensional unconscious. The Soul can then "download" that information into our third
dimensional consciousness.

However, first the pilot (our egos) will have to completely surrender all "control" to our Souls because
our limited third dimensional consciousness is incapable of perceiving the myriad of messages that are
necessary to complete our journey. All reality below the fifth dimension is programmed for separation,
limitation, and polarity. The only way to consciously pilot our vessel into the fifth dimensions is to allow
our Soul to enter into and captain our vessel.

The only route of return our ego knows is "death". Death is a form of separation, just like birth. When
we are "born", our Soul allows a portion of itself to go through the frequency filter that holds our galaxy
in the third dimension. This frequency filter allows only first, second, third and fourth dimensional
molecules to pass through. The fourth dimensional portion of ourselves interfaces with the fifth
dimension via our Soul and it interfaces with the third dimensional portion of ourselves via our etheric


The etheric body, also known as the etheric double, is the vehicle through which flows the stream of
vitality that keeps our physical bodies alive. It is the etheric body that interfaces our physical body with
our astral body. The fourth dimensional astral body can then integrate with our fifth dimensional
Lightbody. The etheric body serves as a bridge that conveys the invisible undulations of thought and
feeling from the astral world to the visible, denser physical world. To clairvoyant vision, the etheric
double is a faintly luminous violet-gray mist that interpenetrates and slightly extends beyond the
physical body about 1/4 of an inch.

The etheric double is not separate from the physical body nor does it have a separate consciousness.
The etheric body solely receives and distributes the vital forces which emanate from the Sun and
distributes them to the physical body via the chakra system. Every solid, liquid, and gaseous particle of
the body is surrounded with an etheric envelope. Like the physical body, the etheric body ages, decays,
dies and releases the Soul.

The etheric body has two functions. One function is to absorb prana (also known as chi) and distribute it
to the physical body. The other function is to act as a bridge between the physical and astral body. Prana
is a Sanskrit word which means, "to breathe". According to Occult science, there are three forces
released from the Sun. One is electricity, the other is prana, and the third is the kundalini, or serpent
fire. These three forces are distinct forces and cannot be converted into each other. The uses of
electricity are well known to our Western world, but only those who are familiar with the esoteric
philosophies and Eastern medicine are aware of prana and kundalini.


Prana, which emanates from the Sun, enters the physical atoms that float about the earth's atmosphere.
Prana is directly relational to the sun. On sunny days there is more prana in the atmosphere, but on
cloudy days and at night there is less. Prana is the force that interfaces with the third and fourth
dimensions. Prana forms into vitality globules that cause physical atoms to glow when it enters them.
The combination of balanced feelings and clear thinking causes a reaction in the body that allows it to
assimilate more prana.

Prana is known as the force of vitality and the "life breath" of an organism. Prana allows the astral body
to communicate with the physical body by means of the etheric double or sheath. Through the etheric
sheath, the prana runs along the nerves of the physical body amplifying its perception by uniting the
fourth dimensional astral world with the third dimensional physical world. Prana enters our etheric
body, and eventually our physical body, through the chakras.

Chakras are small vortexes that rest on the surface of the etheric double. Their two functions are to
absorb and distribute prana to the etheric and physical bodies and to unite the fourth dimensional astral
world with physical consciousness. Prana rushes into the center of the chakra from a right angle.

Chakras are like wheels with varying numbers of spokes. When the prana enters the center of the chakra
it sets up a secondary force. This secondary force sweeps around the chakra with its characteristic
wavelength creating an undulation, which catches the spokes and causes the chakra to spin. The more
the chakra can assimilate prana, the faster it can spin, and the more the physical world can interface
with the astral world.

Being conscious of the inflow of prana will allow more of it to enter our physical bodies. The lower
dimensional beings that do not have self-awareness have less prana flowing through their forms. As life
forms become more and more aware of themselves and of their environment, they can decide whether
they wish to experience more of the Astral Plane.

Willingness to experience the Astral Plane causes an impulse within the astral body to open a vortex,
which is one or more of the chakras, through which the Astral Plane and perceive the physical world and
the physical world can perceive the Astral Plane. In this way, a partnership is established between our
third and forth dimensional selves in one or more areas of our life.

Through the flow of prana, our physical body can experience more of the fourth dimension and our
astral body can experience more of the physical world. When the Kundalini, also known as the Serpent
Fire, integrates with the prana, the chakras become vivified and perceptions of the higher world
gradually become conscious.

Kundalini emanates from the Sun and lies at the core of Mother Earth, just as it lies at the base of our
spine. Kundalini is the force that calls us to return Home and the force that can transform our earth
vessels into vessels that are able to make that journey.


Kundalini is the highest infinite energy, which is coiled up and dynamic, at the base
of the human spine. Within the Kundalini Force contact is made between the
infinite, divine creative energy and the finite, physical sexual energy. For the Soul
to gain its highest spiritual potential while incarnated in a physical form, the great
mass of Kundalini energy locked in the root chakra must be released to travel up to
the crown chakra.

The root chakra, at the base of the spine, represents our connection to the
feminine Goddess energy that is manifest in the body of planet Earth. The crown chakra, at the top of
our head, represents the masculine God energy that exists as pure potential in the non-physical
dimensions. This energy radiates to earth within the prana and Kundalini emanations from the Sun.
When the Goddess Kundalini has traveled up the spine to meet her Divine Mate, the union of Spirit and
Matter are consummated. Kundalini is known in the Eastern world as the Goddess Shakti. When
Goddess Shakti is awakened, She sweeps us up in Her tremendous passion to reunite with Her Lord
Shiva in the crown chakra.

This Mystical Marriage symbolizes the combining of the male and female energies within our bodies and
the awakening of our multidimensional consciousness. After this Marriage, we will be clear enough for
our Soul to inhabit out physical form and live its Divine Purpose through us.

In the Western world the Kundalini is symbolized by the medical symbol of the caduceus, the rod with
two snakes coiled around it in spirals. At the top are two wings, which are images of Mercury or Hermes
who are the messengers of the Gods. The caduceus is the symbol for healing, health, and

The center rod symbolizes the spinal cord. In Yoga philosophy the center cord is called the Sushumna
and it represents the grounding, neutral cord of the three parts of the rising Kundalini.

The left cord is the Ida, which represents the feminine side. It is negatively charged, ends in the left
nostril and has characteristics of coolness related to the moon. The right side is called the Pingala, which
represents the masculine side.

It is positively charged, ends in the right nostril and has characteristics of heat related to the sun. The Ida
and the Pingala represent the masculine and feminine energies which we all carry regardless of our

According to the Indian guru Muktananda, the Kundalini has two aspects. One aspect is often perceived
as the outer cosmic energy of spiritual life force. In China this force is known as Chi, in Japan it is known
as Ki, in India it is known as Prana, and in the West it is known as the Holy Spirit. We all have a limited
form of Kundalini energy running through our bodies or we would not be able to live for it truly is our
"life force". Kundalini is the energy that pervades and enervates the world as we experience it.

The second aspect of the Kundalini is the hidden or inner form which is usually
"asleep" as a small bulb of energy stored at the base of the spine in our root
chakra. This energy usually becomes dormant very early in our lives because
we become engaged in the process of living. As children, we must learn to
identify with our sensate, mental and emotional processes and with the
genetic heritage of our physical bodies. In order to learn to survive in our
physical world, we often separate from any awareness of our Soul.

When our inner Kundalini awakens, it turns our awareness inward to our
Source and offers us an opportunity to uncover who we are, where we come
from, and where our true Home is. It is the beginning of the spiritual journey that enables us to regain
our multidimensional consciousness. However, in order for the latent Kundalini energy to rise up the
spinal cord without physical incident, our male and female energies must be balanced, and our chakras
must be clear.

When the Kundalini awakens it is a dramatic transformational force that flows through the nadis, the
nerve channels of the body, and rises up from the base of the spine via the Sushumna. As this force
enters each chakra it increases their spin. The increased spin spews out the toxins which rises the
resonate frequency of each chakra.

This process could be likened to changing our wiring from 110V to 220V. The experience is a mix of bliss,
joy, terror, and rage. Each memory and emotion trapped within every chakra must be cleared. This
clearing can be painful, but as it is completed we can experience life with a level of peace and joy that
was once unimaginable.

During this special time of planetary transformation, more and more of us are able, or soon will be able,
to answer the call of the Goddess Kundalini. Masculine and feminine energies have been in a battle for
dominance and manipulation for eons.

It is now the TIME for each of us to balance and merge our own feminine and masculine energies, our
yin and yang. In this way, the yin of matter and yang of spirit can be combined within our consciousness
and within our earth vessel Like any journey, the Goddess Kundalini's journey begins with a single step.
That step is our determination to break through the barriers of our unconscious mind to unlock the
wisdom, power, and love that is trapped behind the veil of our forgetfulness. When we have healed our
history of pain and fear, the Kundalini can begin its rise up the Sushumna, chakra by chakra.

However, caution and patience are vital. To force the awakening of the Kundalini before we are
physically and morally ready could cause grave consequences. One never calls upon the Goddess
Kundalini for curiosity or selfish reasons. Her force is fifth dimensional and, like a dry leaf could not
stand a fire's blaze, our untamed egos could not survive the rise of Kundalini's Serpent Fire. trapped
within every chakra must be cleared. This clearing can be painful, but as it is completed we can
experience life with a level of peace and joy that was once unimaginable.

During this special time of planetary transformation, more and more of us are able, or soon will be able,
to answer the call of the Goddess Kundalini. Masculine and feminine energies have been in a battle for
dominance and manipulation for eons.

It is now the TIME for each of us to balance and merge our own feminine and masculine energies, our
yin and yang. In this way, the yin of matter and yang of spirit can be combined within our consciousness
and within our earth vessel Like any journey, the Goddess Kundalini's journey begins with a single step.
That step is our determination to break through the barriers of our unconscious mind to unlock the
wisdom, power, and love that is trapped behind the veil of our forgetfulness. When we have healed our
history of pain and fear, the Kundalini can begin its rise up the Sushumna, chakra by chakra.
However, caution and patience are vital. To force the awakening of the Kundalini before we are
physically and morally ready could cause grave consequences. One never calls upon the Goddess
Kundalini for curiosity or selfish reasons. Her force is fifth dimensional and, like a dry leaf could not
stand a fire's blaze, our untamed egos could not survive the rise of Kundalini's Serpent Fire.


All of our senses, perceptions, and possible states of awareness can be divided into seven categories
that are associated with each of the seven chakras. Each chakra represents certain portions of our body
as well as certain experiences and states of consciousness.

Tensions that are felt in our psyche are also felt in our bodies via the chakra system. Conversely,
tensions felt in our bodies are also experienced in our psyche. The chakras are how our unconscious and
superconscious self can communicate with our conscious mind.

Each chakra vibrates to a different frequency. The lowest frequencies are closer to the base of our
spine, and the highest frequencies closer to the crown of our head. The chakras are located on the
surface of our etheric body. Each of the seven chakras is in a different location along the spinal cord and
each chakra influences a different endocrine gland and nerve plexus.

Chakras one, two, and three will be discussed in the Unconsciousness section of this web site. The
fourth and fifth chakra will be discussed in the Conscious section and the sixth and seventh chakra will
be discussed in the Superconscious section.

To find the source, and heal the issues that await us beyond the First Door, we now enter our First
Chakra, which is located at the base of our spine. Hence our First Chakra is also known as the Root

LOCATION: The first chakra is located at the base of the spine.

PETALS: This chakra rules the lowest vibration of our body and has the slowest wavelength. There are
four spokes, or petals. Four is the number of the square and foundations. The square is related to being
honest, or giving a "square deal, the four energies of earth--earth, air, fire, and water, and the four
directions. Four walls, four legs, or four wheels represent a strong foundation.

NOTE & MANTRA: The note for this chakra is C and the mantra is "lam" or "e" as in red. Chanting these
mantras in the key of D while focusing our attention on this area of our body can enable us to more
consciously access the first chakra.
COLOR: The color for this chakra is red, which is the lowest frequency of human's visible light
spectrum. Red is the color of anger and/or vitality.

RULES: The first chakra rules our PHYSICAL energies. Also known as the root chakra, it governs our
vigor, heredity, survival, security, passion, money, job, and home. This chakra aids us in our everyday

SENSE: The sense of smell is related to this chakra. Our sense of smell is our most primitive sense, and
is the first sense that awakens upon our physical birth. The receptors for smell are located at the base of
our brain and feeds directly into our limbic system, which is the area of memory and emotion.
Therefore, aromas can immediately access emotional memories stored in our unconscious.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: The astrological sign associated with the root chakra is Taurus. The symbol for
Taurus is the bull. Like our root chakra, the bull is a symbol of masculine power and fertility. The bull
roots in the earth with his front hooves and lowers his nostrils toward the ground to warn any who
would threaten his "herd". There are many cows in the herd, but only the strongest bull will be able to
preserve the genetic integrity of the group.

The first chakra is actually the basis of both our masculine and feminine energy. It represents our
masculine will and male sexual organs as well as the feminine energy of the Goddess Kundalini.
Therefore, a man can learn to integrate his feminine power and a woman can learn to integrate her
masculine power through the clearing and opening of this chakra.

ELEMENT: Earth is the element associated with the first chakra and the mineral kingdom is the top of
that hierarchy. Crystals have been prized by humankind for eons and have also been used in esoteric
healing. Since it rules our first dimensional self that is unable to reflect upon itself, perceptions from our
root chakra are usually unconscious. This first dimensional portion of us can only be aware of a "hive or
species consciousness".

Even though, the first chakra has many masculine qualities it is also the "seat of the Goddess Kundalini"
and is therefore often associated with our relationship with our mothers and with Mother Earth. Our
relationships with our mother set up our attitude toward home, security, and money. If we are cut off
from our roots, we feel cut off from the earth as well.

CONSCIOUSNESS: The first chakra rules our survival

consciousness and represents our deepest unconscious and most
primitive self. This chakra represents the reptilian portion of our
brain, which is our brainstem, our center for life support. The
brainstem and the area immediately above it are called the
reptilian brain because it is possessed by all creatures from
reptiles to humans. For reptiles, this area is their entire brain, but
for humans it is the base, or stem, of their brain. In fact, part of
this area is known as the brainstem.
PERSONAL TIMELINE: The first chakra represents birth to two years of age. This is the time before we
have completed our process of individuation and still perceive ourselves as a part of our parents. This
chakra represents our struggle to come to terms with our physical life and physical body. Our
Multidimensional Spirits are new to the limitations and separation of our new 3D reality, and we
struggling to learn how to control our physical earth vessel. Fortunately, we naturally travel into the
higher dimensions at this age and can return Home whenever we are desperately in need of comfort
and understanding.

SOCIAL TIMELINE: Anthropologically, the first chakra represents the time when humankind was cave
dwellers. At that time in our "civilization", we lived from day to day. To assist in our struggle for survival,
we worshiped animals and other aspects of our physical environment.

ENDOCRINE GLAND: Each chakra feeds prana into a different endocrine gland. Just as there are seven
chakras, there are seven endocrine glands. Both the chakras and the endocrine glands are located along
the spinal cord. The endocrine glands manufacture hormones and supply them to the bloodstream.
These glands are called "ductless" because there is not a duct to any specific part of the body. Instead,
hormones are released into the bloodstream where they are carried by the blood to every organ and
tissue to exert their influence on all functions of the physical body.

Each gland is internally related to the other glands and also works closely with the nervous and
circulatory system. In order for the organs of the body to work efficiently, the blood must contain
certain chemicals. Many of these chemicals are secreted by the endocrine glands, and this secretion is
vital for the health of the entire system. Our bodies can become diseased if there are too many or too
few hormones.

The endocrine gland for the first chakra is the adrenal glands. There are actually two adrenal glands
located with one on top of each of the two kidneys. The adrenal glands are the body's call to battle.
When adrenaline is released into the system our perceptions become clearer, we have added vigor and
feel more courageous.

The release of adrenaline activates the fight/flight syndrome, which prepares us for “fight or flight.”
Release of adrenaline and activation of fight/flight is brought on by real or imagined danger. Therefore,
our emotions can activate a release of adrenaline when we feel extreme fear or even chronic anxiety.
The first chakra is the "survival chakra," and the fight/flight syndrome is vital for the survival of every

NERVE PLEXUS: The first chakra is located near the sacral plexus. The sacral plexus is the nerve center,
which rules the skeleton, legs, feet, eliminatory system, male reproductive organs, and the prostate. If
there is a problem with the leg or foot on the right, masculine, side of the body it can indicate issues of
trust in one's will. If there is a problem with the leg or foot on the left, feminine, side then it can indicate
issues with trust of one's emotional life.
CLEAR: When the first chakra is clear we feel secure, grounded, and stable. We can use good "common
sense" to balance our finances as well as our everyday responsibilities and still initiate new activities and
interest. Our eliminatory system functions well, neural activity in our legs and feet is healthy, and our
ability to initiate sexual encounters is comfortable and natural. Our root chakra is the home of the
Sleeping Serpent, our Kundalini. When this chakra is clear and balanced the Goddess Kundalini Shakti
can awaken and begin her gradual rise towards reunion with Lord Shiva.

UNCLEAR: When the first chakra is unclear we feel insecure and fearful. We can also become absent-
minded because we are ungrounded. We may also have a difficult time with our finances and day to day
necessities. Whatever security we derive from material things can become threatened. There can also
be problems with our home, which is our base of operations in physical life. We can become self-
indulgent and self-centered and suffer from depression and grief. We may suffer from hemorrhoids,
constipation, sciatica, or prostate problems.

All of the above emotional, behavioral, and physical health issues have to do with the ability to let go.
We cannot let go of our sadness, let go of material sources of comfort when finances require, or even let
go of the waste material of our bodies. If we cannot release what is holding us back, we cannot move
forward. Difficulties with our sciatic nerve and problems with our legs and feet display this dynamic.
Prostate problems can arise from frustrated sexual or creative drives.

EARTH'S CHAKRAS: Just as the first chakra represents our physical body, the Earth's first chakra
represents Her physical body. The planetary first chakra is located at Mt. Sinai in the Middle East. Lady
Gaia is allowing Her Kundalini to rise to meet her Divine Mate. It is TIME now that we hear Her call.
Hence, this area of the planet is the center of great unrest.

DIMENSIONS: The first chakra rules our first and second dimensional selves. Our first dimensional self
represents the genetic coding, cells, and minerals of our bodies. It also represents our most primitive
"animal self", which is represented by the fight/flight response that serves to assure the survival of the
species. The root chakra also rules the male sex glands and the testosterone that they secrete. This
testosterone drives the males in our society, and the male polarity of our psyche, to perpetuate and
protect humanity.

SUMMARY: The body of Mother Earth and Her consciousness, Lady Gaia, is the third dimensional
planet that supports our physical body. Just as our physical body communicates with our consciousness
by its state of health, disease, comfort, and discomfort, Lady Gaia communicates with us via the health
of Her planet.

Our Western society has traveled so far into our third dimensional individuality that we have lost sight
of the fact that we are members of a greater whole. We have forgotten that we are members of a planet
that we must all share. This forgetfulness has allowed us to overlook the fact that our individual
destinies are intrinsically tied to the destiny of Mother Earth who houses and feeds our physical self.

Our physical bodies and the body of Earth send messages to us via the first and second dimension. If
there are disruptions and diseases on a genetic and cellular level, if the elements of earth that are
around and within our bodies are disrupted, if plants and animals are becoming extinct on a daily rate,
there is a message that is being sent. We can say that we have heard these messages, but if our
behavior has not been altered, then we have not LISTENED.

We can deny or ignore our bodies and the body of Earth upon which we live, but it is difficult to deny or
ignore our behavior. Our actions interact with our environment and with others to create a mirror that
forces us to look at ourselves. We can hold on to a victim mentality, which allows us to stay in denial and
lie to ourselves, but our actions do not lie. In today's world, a lot of our needs for survival are "getting
what we want". We must learn to recognize that our actions dictate to us what we truly want, for that is
what we find time to "do". Only when we can recognize the messages from our unconscious as they are
displayed in our behavior, can we take full responsibility for our actions.

However, how much time do we have to learn to listen to the needs of our planet and Her future
generations? Has our individuality, which we so dearly prize in the West, cost us our ability to see the
bigger picture? When our first chakra is closed, it is difficult for prana to infuse our physical body. We
are then out of touch with our own power to listen to and respond to the needs of our body and the
home of our body, Earth.

Our actions then become reactions, and our ability to take responsibility for our personal power is
diluted into a dismal struggle for survival. However, when the first chakra is awakened, spirit lives in
matter and all of our behavior is directed by spirit, the spirit within our physical bodies and the spirit
within our Earth.


The third and the fourth dimension influence and react to each other. Events in the third dimension
affect the fourth dimension and, in turn, events in the fourth dimension affect the third dimension.
There is a relationship between the two, which is usually unconscious to our physical reality. Everything
that has ever happened in the third dimension remains in the fourth like an echo.

This echo reverberates between the two dimensions creating a perpetual motion machine that creates
the same patterns of reality over and over. If the pattern is filled with love, it assists us in accepting our
Soul into our physical form. However, if the pattern is filled with fear, it holds us in negative cycles that
we repeat over and over. In order to stop these cycles, the fear must be healed with love.

The Lower Astral Plane is the lowest vibration of the fourth dimension, which holds the invisible
emanations of all the fear, and negativity that is projected into it from the physical plane. The lower
astral plane has been known as Hell, but it is a Hell of our own creation for it is merely the completion of
actions that were initiated on the physical plane.

The Lower Astral Plane is where all the fear, anger, sorrows, and pain that we created and/or did not
heal in our physical life awaits us to be cleared on the next dimension. The lower astral plan is like the
cosmic dump. All the fear that people have when they "die" to their third dimensional world settles in
the lowest vibration of the fourth dimension. This fear then influences the third dimension.

For us to bring our Soul down into our physical body so that it can transform our earth vessel into a
Lightbody, we must face the darkness that we have left in the Lower Astral Plane and clear it with our
LOVE. When we have done that, we create a tunnel of light through the density of this Plane, which
allows us greater access to our Higher Selves. Clearing our Lower Astral Body also assists us to release
our greatest enemy—SHAME.

Shame, shame
I know your name.
Whatever the reason,
you're always the same.

You make me feel

like I am less.
You hold me back
and cause me stress.
Down deep inside me
you do hide
behind my fear,
beside my pride.

You tell me
not to try again.
You say I don't
deserve to win.

"I am your friend.

Hold back," you say.
"They'll soon find out
so just don't play."

But who are "they"?

What will they know?
What is it that
I must not show?

When you say I'm bad

and don't deserve,
it is your power
that you preserve.

The power of
my hidden shame
to hold me back,
that is your game.

But I won't play,

not any more.
You've won so far.
I've kept the score.

I don't believe
I should hold back.
I don't believe
I have this lack.

I know you grew

inside my mind.
The cause of this
I must now find.
Then send you out,
outside my life.
Purge your conflict,
release your strife.

When did I take

the shame you give?
I'll find that day
you started to live.

Then love that me

who took you in
and tell it,
"No, you did not sin.

"You were a child

and knew no better.
You learned that shame,
down to the letter.

"Now give it back.

It's a mistake.
Its someone else's
shame you take.

"Dear child, I love you

you are a wonder.
Let no one pull
your dreams asunder.

"I welcome all

you have to say
and know that you
will show the way.

"The way to life

that's filled with glory.
I listen now,
please tell your story."

Excerpts from:
Book Two of Visions from Venus

By Suzan Caroll PhD

(In this section of Book II,Shature, the main character, is studying on the fifth dimension and acting as
the Higher Self to her different third dimensional lives. Shature does this by entering into a dome, which
allows her to interface with the physical world.)

"Shature, I have felt your approach. Are you ready to resume your studies?" spoke the Guide as Shature
entered the Temple.

"Yes, my Guide, I am. I feel different somehow. I feel like I am on the edge of a great transition. I have
merged with my Divine Complement and we have realized some patterns that we must release. I know
that I must heal my fear of abandonment. This fear creates a vicious cycle. First, I fear that I will be
abandoned. Then, because I am afraid, I cannot trust others. Then, because I cannot trust others, I am
angry. Then, because I am angry, I push others away. Then, because I push others away, they leave me.
The, because others have left me, I am afraid that I will be abandoned."

"Wonderful, my one. I can see that you now understand the pattern that you have created. I have
telepathically received your desire to view the lives in which you danced this cycle of abandonment.
Your desire will activate different third dimensional realities and program them into the dome. The
dome will then present a holographic display of one time period at a time. Remember, you are actually
entering that time frame and any interaction that you have with its occupants is real and will most
assuredly alter their reality..."

Ancient Egypt

This time, Shature found herself experiencing the story as a participant rather than as an observer. She
was not too happy about this since she knew that something happened in this life that pulled her into
her darkness. She began to feel a panic arise from deep within her and she knew that she would have to
calm herself in order to remain detached. Yes, something very bad had happened. She could feel the evil
overtake her like a million spiders crawling on her flesh.

"You are feeling the evil around you," spoke the Guide in response to Stature’s thoughts. "You are now
in a life in ancient Egypt and you are a Priestess of the Temple of Set. The Temple of Set brought the
teachings of the Dark Robes to Egypt at the fall of Atlantis. The name Set means 'cutter' or 'isolator'.
Set's followers seek initiation through self-deification and call upon the forces of isolation and limitation
to free them selves from what they believe is the 'delusion of unity'.

They desire the experience of the greatest individuality without any responsibility to others and without
the consequence of their action. They believe that the end is more important than the means. They
achieve the fulfillment of their desires through the use of Black Magic, which is the interaction with the
disharmonious energies of the physical and the lower Astral Plane.

"Do you remember how you feared and avoided the Dark Robes on Atlantis? Your Soul could not
understand their Black Magic. Your unresolved fear drew you into this life so that you could learn why
one would choose to follow the darkness rather than the light."

"Yes," whispered Shature as if she were trying not to disturb the forces of darkness that clung to her. "I
can feel that I am totally selfish in this life. Nothing is more important than my own self-advancement.
Anyone who might assist me in that purpose is disposable once I am finished with them. I can feel that I
am ruthless, cold, and completely without love. How will my fifth dimensional consciousness ever assist
one who has no ability to love?"

"I am here with you, " said the voice of the Guide. "I know that is difficult for you to experience this life
as a participant. However, your lessons are advancing and you are ready for greater and greater
challenges. Keep talking to me with your mind. It will help you to maintain a link to your consciousness
as Shature."

Shature was glad to obey the Guide's request. Perhaps if she could talk about what she was
experiencing, it would help calm her fear.

"I am a woman of about thirty years," she began. "I sense that my name is Nubnoset which means,
'servant of Set'. I am standing in front of a man with a high hat and dark robe. He has a long black
mustache that extends past his chin and outlines a mouth that is firm and strong. His eyes are riveting. I
cannot lower my gaze to encompass his body. All I can see is his stern, dark face and a huge hat
decorated with rubies and emeralds."

"Who is this man?" asked the Guide to keep Shature aware of her higher consciousness.

"I can sense that he is a High Priest of the Temple of Set. He is my lover...No... he is my father. NO...he is
both! It is acceptable in this culture for a man to take his daughter to bed. We have been lovers for
many years and we have a daughter named Nephrite who is thirteen years of age. My father doesn't
want me anymore. I am too old, or rather, our daughter is 'old enough'.

"I am begging with him not to embarrass me. How can he cast me aside? I am telling him that since I was
a young girl I have served him and his evil God, that I have done unspeakable things to myself and to
others because he asked me to.'"

"'HA," he laughs at me. "You chose to serve 'my' God and were happy to do so as long as you felt the

"His words cut me like a knife. How can that be true? How could I have actually enjoyed a life so filled
with selfish and depraved deeds? I look into the heart of Nubnoset and shudder to realize that he has
spoken the truth. I have used others to achieve my own ends and pushed them aside when I was
satiated. I have ruined my life for a man who has never cared for me. I am not even sad that I may lose
him. For the first time since my initiation into the Priesthood of Set, I am afraid. I am afraid that I will
suffer what I have done to others.

"I fall to the ground in a plea for mercy. I hold onto his ankles and tell him all that I will do for him if he
will just not cast me aside. He laughs again and kicks me away. I kneel on the ground at his feet and
cover my face with my hands as I sob hysterically.

"'Will you die for me?' he asks as he kneels down and lays his dagger on the floor beside me. He pulls my
hands from my face and smiles his sinister smile as he looks into my tear-filled eyes.

"For a moment, time stands still. I am looking into his face as he smiles at me, almost lovingly. But he
loves only himself. This is what he wants me to DO for him. He wants me to kill myself for him, just like I
have killed others-for him. My father, the evil Priest, picks up the dagger and offers it to me. I know the
dagger. He uses it for sacrifices to Set.

"I stare into the glisten of its sharp, curved blade for what seems like eternity. All the times that I used
that dagger on others flashes before my eyes. Yes, of course, in the end I will use it on myself. I am to be
his sacrifice now. I take the dagger and he chuckles as he stands and walks across the room where he
will watch me die-for him.

"I place the point of the blade just below my sternum. I know how to make the kill quick and clean. I
learned it from him."

Then, all went black for a moment as Shature fought to remember who she was. She was not Nubnoset,
but Nubnoset was a portion of her. However, there was also a life on Venus, her Guide, and Lamire. Yes,
she must think of her life upon fifth dimensional Venus in order to rescue herself from the depths of
Nubnoset's Hell.

Shature took a slow, deep breath and realized that she had detached from Nubnoset who was lying at
her feet. She looked around and, with a cold chill, she realized that she and the etheric form of Nubnoset
were in the lower Astral Plane. Shature remembered how she had feared this plane while she was in
Atlantis and Faerie.

Everywhere she looked was a blood red darkness that was almost black. She heard wails and cries in the
distance, but all she could see through the heavy and sticky blackness was herself and Nubnoset.
Nubnoset gradually aroused and slowly sat up. Although Shature was touching her, Nubnoset was aware
only of herself and the hatred that she held inside of her for the man whom she blamed for causing her
death. She must seek revenge. Shature tried to communicate with Nubnoset, but was instead swept back
into her mind. Stature’s Guide called to her.

"Speak to me Shature and tell me of your experience."

From her place in the lower Astral Plane, Nubnoset, with Shature locked in her consciousness, could
observe the physical plane where she had just "died."
"He thinks that he can discard me like a slave." Shature heard the thoughts of Nubnoset-her thoughts as
Nubnoset. "I will not have it. He will be sorry for what he has done to me. I will use my physic powers to
influence someone to poison him. Xaria, his servant, is beginning to hate him for what he has done to
her. I know that I can influence her to put the poison in his goblet."

Shature tried to be the observer and connect with the mind of Nubnoset, but it was impossible. It was
only with feelings of compassion or love that Nubnoset could recognize Stature’s call and Nubnoset had
neither. Shature was trying to understand how her Soul could have chosen such a life. What could she
have learned? She died just as cruelly as she had lived. As she sank back into Nubnoset's consciousness
Shature heard the voice of her Guide reminding her to continue speaking to him.

"I have done it," spoke Nubnoset as she observed the physical plane. The consciousness of Shature was
trapped within Nubnoset's bitter thoughts and words. "Xaria hates the High Priest very much. I have
spoken to her in her sleep and used my psychic influence, plus a little Black Magic, to give her the idea of
putting poison into his goblet. There he is! He is going to drink from the cup.

"But wait. He is pausing. Could he suspect? He always knew when someone was against him. Could he
know that it is I? He is looking at me as if he can see my ghost! He is smiling as he sets down the goblet
and leaves the room. I hear him in the other room talking to our daughter. He is telling her that she is so
special that he will allow her to drink from his cup.

"He knows! He knows what I have planned. He can see me even though I am dead and he is sending our
daughter to her death just to spite me.

"I watch in horror as Nephrite enters the room and walks toward the poisoned drink. What can I do?
Who can I call to help me? My daughter cannot see me. Since my death I have come to her many times
in her sleep and have tried to tell her about the High Priest, but she will not hear. She loves him like I did
when I was young, before the evil overtook my heart and robbed me of the ability to love. She is as
foolish as I was and will meet the same end.

"I must call someone. I cannot call on the forces of Set as they are the cause of this. I must call on the
other side. I must call upon the Light. But, could the light hear my voice? I have turned to the darkness
and become as wicked as my father. I have totally given my Soul over to the forces of darkness in the
name of--what? It certainly was not Love.

Shature pulled herself from the trap of Nubnoset's consciousness and saw a small ray of light enter the
darkness of their Hell. This was her chance. Nubnoset did love someone. She loved her daughter and was
trying to turn towards the light to save her. Maybe now Shature could maintain an observer-
consciousness long enough to serve as Nubnoset's guide. Shature pulled the Violet Fire around her and
tried to remember her childhood as Nubnoset.

Had she ever believed in Spirit? She then remembered Nubnoset as a young woman sitting upon her
mother's deathbed. Nubnoset's mother had believed in the Violet Fire and had given her a cartouche
with the name of Archangel Zadkiel engraved upon it in hieroglyphics. Her mother had told her that the
Archangel Zadkiel was the guardian of the Violet Fire and she should call upon him for protection.
Shature whispered to Nubnoset to remember her mother.

Suddenly, the name Zadkiel came into Nubnoset's mind and she seemed to awaken to her bleak
environment for the first time.

"Where am I?" she asked Shature whom she could now see.

"You are dead; Nubnoset and you are in the lower Astral Plane. Some have called this place Hell."

"Yes, I have come here at my death because of the corrupt life that I have lived."

"And," continued Shature "because you have wished ill upon the living. But, you have remembered love,
love of your daughter, and have called upon the forces of Light to assist you in saving her. I am Shature
and I am here to answer your call. Do you remember Archangel Zadkiel?"

"Zadkiel, yes, The Order of Zadkiel, and the Temple of the Violet Fire. I had a small cartouche that my
mother had given me at her death. She told me that it had been passed down from mother to child since
the time of Atlantis. I was to hold it and to call to the images with my mind when I was afraid. But, I
knew my father wouldn't approve. I loved him more than my mother so I put the cartouche away in my
drawer and soon forgot it. Do you think that I could call to it now after serving the darkness for most of
my life?"

"It is never too late to remember the light," comforted Shature.

"But I no longer have a voice. I no longer have a body. And I fear that I no longer have a Soul. I gave them
all away because I wanted my father to love me. Do I care now for his love? He has forsaken me even
after my death. Now I must save my daughter or she shall meet the same fate. All I care for is the life of
my child. I must call upon the Violet Fire. But how?"

"Do you remember how your mother called the Violet Fire? She tried to teach you."

"But, I wouldn't listen," continued Nubnoset. "It was something about consecration of every portion of
yourself. But, I cannot remember now and I must hurry to save my daughter."

"Nubnoset," Shature spoke gently. "There is no hurry because you are no longer bound by Earth time."

"Yes," spoke Nubnoset in a moment of sadness. "I am dead. I have wasted my life by giving it to another.
I will not allow my daughter to waste hers. I cannot!"

"Then say the words of consecration with me. I will help you," spoke Shature.

"Beloved Archangel Zadkiel, I call upon you to consecrate me in the Forces of Light."

Nubnoset repeated the words and then her dark eyes registered light.
"I remember, I remember the dedication. I will say it with you." Together, they finished the decree.
"I consecrate the energies of my lifestream as it flows from the heart of the Sun!

"I consecrate my physical body, my emotional body, my mental body, and my etheric body to the service
of the Violet Fire!

"I consecrate my eyes to see only the Light.

"I consecrate my ears to hear only the sound of the One and the still small voice of the Presence!

"I consecrate my mouth to speak only with the tongues of Angels!

"I consecrate my mind that it may receive the clear and direct consciousness of the Higher Self.

"I consecrate my hands that they may heal and my feet that they may walk upon the Path of Light.

"Take this form, every cell and atom, and consecrate it to the service of the Light.

"Blaze, Blaze, Blaze the Violet Fire!

Transmuting ALL shadow into

All was still.

They watched the physical plane below where Nephrite paused as if she had heard the decree. Then, the
room began to shake and the table holding the goblet tipped and the goblet fell to the floor, spilling the

The Light had saved her!

But wait, Nephrite was dabbing up the poisoned wine with the hem of her gown and touching it to her

"NO! NO! NO!" called Nubnoset. "Archangel Zadkiel, you must stop her!"

"She will not die," resonated the powerful and melodious voice of Zadkiel.

A ray of Violet Light streaked through the darkness as Zadkiel spoke. But when the light faded the
blackness returned and Shature was again pulled inside the consciousness of Nubnoset. The distant voice
of her Guide was the only thread of light that connected Shature to her fifth dimensional self.
"Speak to me," he called to her.

"I am still in the lower Astral Plane," spoke Shature from deep within the consciousness of Nubnoset. "It
has been three Earth days since my daughter touched the poisoned liquid to her lips. I fear that she will
die after all. No, she has died! Here she is. She can see me now."

"'No, Mother, I am not yet dead, but I linger so close to death that I can now see your form. I must know.
How did I get so ill? Is it from the wine? Were you trying to kill me, as Father has said?"

"No, my daughter, I tried to poison him, but his will was too strong. Why would I poison you with his
goblet? Somehow he knew my plan and sent you to drink from his cup to punish me. I do not condone
what I have done. I wanted to murder him because I could not face my own darkness. I had to blame my
evil choices on him. But all of my actions were my own. Please, dear daughter, do not make the same
mistakes that I have.

"I called upon the forces of the Light to assist you when you went to drink of the goblet. That is why the
room shook and the goblet fell to the ground. Archangel Zadkiel has told me that you will not die. I must
believe his words. The faith that I could not have for myself I vow to have for you.

"Dear Nephrite, I beg you. Do not allow him to corrupt you. My mother tried to warn me just as I am
warning you, but I would not listen to her. When you awaken, and I know you will, go to the top drawer
of my red dresser. Inside there is a small cartouche that my mother gave to me. Wear it my dear and it
will protect you."

The image of her daughter began to fade because her body was calling her back. Nephrite would not die.

"You will have the strength, my daughter, that I did not," Nubnoset called to Nephrite's fading form.
"You will be able to say no to him. I was not!"

The last vision of Nephrite was gone and Nubnoset was left alone in the lower Astral Plane. Even her
connection to Shature was forgotten. Shature had gone so deeply into Nubnoset's consciousness to
assist her with saving Nephrite that Shature had become lost in the caverns of Nubnoset's tortured
mind. Nubnoset heard a voice calling from deep within her unconscious, "Shature, Shature!" but she did
not recognize the voice or the name. The darkness of her environment had separated her from Shature
and from Shature's Guide. Nubnoset was alone. She was abandoned to the darkness in her death just as
she had been in her life. Abandonment, yes that is what her father had threatened over and over again
to coerce her into doing his will. Now, finally, she had stood up to him-from the other side of the grave.

A memory came to her of how her father had locked her in a small, dark room until she had agreed to
do anything just so that he would release her. The total darkness of the small, foul-smelling room had
always terrified her. Every time she was locked inside the room she tried to confront her fear and to
relax into the darkness, but it reminded her of the wicked things that were done to her and that she had
done to others. She realized now that it was not just the fear that had made her beg him to release her,
it was the guilt and shame as well.
Now, once again, Nubnoset was in darkness. Her greatest fears in life had become her reality in death.
Was this to be her punishment for the evil life that she had lived? Was she to exist eternally alone in the
deepest darkness? Alone, with only her fear and shame to remind her of what she had done. Unlike the
dark room of her childhood, there were no walls here -- only an infinity of nothingness. But, she had
made her choices. Her mother had not followed her father's ways. It had cost her mother her health,
but at least she had her Soul. Nubnoset knew that she deserved this death to atone for all the suffering
she had caused in her life.

But wait, was that a small glimmer of light off to her right? No, it was merely her imagination. Then she
heard a voice. It was the same voice who had called the name Shature earlier.

"If you can imagine the Light, then you can choose it." Nubnoset did not understand the meaning of
these words, but they did prompt her to look to the light again. It seemed somewhat brighter, but it
flickered on and off with the surges of fear that engulfed her. In fact, there appeared to be a connection.
When she gave into her fear, the light grew dim or and even disappeared completely. But, when she
summoned the courage to face her fear and the deep guilt and shame beneath it, the light grew
brighter. The fear seemed to control the Light.

She wondered if, inversely, the Light could control the fear. If she chose to focus only on the light would
the fear diminish? Deep in her mind there was a warm chuckle from the unknown voice. The warmth of
the voice amplified the light, which made it easier to find in the clawing darkness. She focused on the
light more intently now and found that, as she did so, the fear faded. Could she choose to see only the
light? Could the light distract her from her fear and anger-anger at her father and anger at herself? Yes,
she was angry with herself. She knew now that she had always blamed herself for giving into her father.
But, could she have stopped him?

No, she had been a child. She had no strength against her powerful father. Had there been a small speck
of light inside that room, or inside herself that she could not see because she was afraid? But, of course,
she was afraid. How could she judge herself for that? She had been a child and she was no match for her
father. He manipulated her with the dark room and with his dark mind. He always knew just what to say
and how to say it so that she would believe him. He even made her believe that her mother did not love
her and that he was the only parent who cared for her!

Nubnoset knew that she would have to forgive that child, forgive herself, for giving into the power of
her father. With that thought she felt a warm glow arise within her ethereal body. The glow felt almost
like love, but she wasn't sure. She had not had much experience with love. She felt love from her mother
when she had given her the cartouche and she had felt it from her daughter/sister when she was born.
But, she had never felt it from a man. She had felt only fear and hatred from them. No-wait-somewhere
deep in her memory a flash ignited. A face appeared in her mind, the long forgotten face of a young

Deep sadness and regret filled her as she envisioned him. Her ghostly form shivered with agony and
regret. He was the only man who had ever loved her. She had forgotten him because the sorrow and
guilt of his memory were too great. He had tried to save her, but her father had found out about them.
She remembered the scene as she relived it. She was only fifteen years old. Her lover was one of the
young soldiers who were assigned to guard the halls of the temple where her mother lived. Her mother
was still alive then, although she was always ill. Some said it was because of her father's Black Magic.

Nubnoset relived how she had met her young man while he was guarding her mother's door and how
they had taken the risk of looking into each other's eyes. Normally, the guards were like statues and
were never noticed. However, as she passed him, she felt a pull so strong that she could not resist
turning her head. He looked familiar even though she knew that she had never seen him. In fact, as she
relived the moment, she realized that he had "felt" familiar. As she looked into his eyes, she felt a pull at
her heart and she heard the name, Lamire. But, as she learned later, that was not his name nor was it
anyone that he knew. But now, the name alone brought such a glow to her heart that the dim light
before her beamed stronger and stronger.

"Shature, Shature!" she heard again in her mind. But, the name still meant nothing to her. The only thing
that was familiar was the "feel" of her one true love and the name, Lamire. She had never known what
had happened to her lover. Her father had found them where they secretly met in the garden. She was
taken away from him and put in her dark room until she begged to be released. Nubnoset hoped they
had simply killed him and not used him for their evil purposes. She knew that her father could make him
call for death, beg for death. It was the vision of what they might be doing to him that haunted her as
she was trapped in the darkness.

"Release him and I will be your servant," she begged.

But her father knew better than to allow her to make a decision based on love. He left her in her
deepest fear and guilt until she forgot her lover, forgot Love! She never knew how long she had been
locked away. When finally they released her, she was taken into deep caves of the Temple of Set where
the light of day had never shown.

She must return to those caves again for within them was hidden her Soul-but how?

"Follow the Light," she heard the voice that bad been calling for someone named Shature. It was now
becoming familiar. She looked towards the light and as she did so, she saw that it was moving away
from her.

"No," she cried. "Do not leave me." She moved towards the speck of light and it grew stronger, but still it
moved away from her.

"Am I being abandoned again?" she cried.

The light dimmed as she allowed the old fear to come forward.

"I choose the Light," she called. "Do not leave me. I will not allow the darkness to overtake me again."

The light grew stronger in response to her words and began to move more swiftly.

"The Light is not leaving you. It is guiding you," spoke the voice.
The Light grew brighter and brighter as she followed it, but it was always just beyond her reach. Then
she saw a cave. But wait, the cave was the Cave of Set where she had practiced Black Magic and much
worse. The light stopped just within its entrance beckoning her to join it.

"I can't go in there again. It is filled with darkness. But, as she spoke, the light grew brighter and sent a
tentacle of itself into the mouth of the cave. It wanted her to enter the cave, to enter her fears and her
own darkness that was hidden there.

"I do not want to blame my darkness on another!" She spoke to the impersonal light. "I will no longer
blame my father for my own behavior. I could have resisted him like my mother did. In the end, I died
just as she did."

"You needed to learn about your own darkness," spoke the familiar voice that now seemed to be inside
of her. This voice seemed to be guiding her. Had she known it before?

"You must now learn to view that darkness not as an enemy with whom you must do battle, but as a
component of yourself that is always present in the lower worlds. Light and dark are not just 'good' and
'bad' as they are experienced in the lower worlds."

The voice was clear now. Yes, she had known it before, but when? She certainly had not known it in her
life as Nubnoset. The voice continued and disrupted Nubnoset's thoughts.

"Darkness and light are only opposite extremes on a spectrum. Light represents unity and darkness
represents separation. If you deny your darkness in order to know only your light, you allow one portion
of yourself to become 'unconscious' to your total awareness."

"I have definitely not denied my darkness. Now I wish to acknowledge my light."

"Then you must take this light into the cave and unify it with your darkness."

"Will that heal the life I have just lived?"

"It will help."

"Then, I will enter the cave. I don't ever want to have another life like the one I have just experienced."

"Yes, that is a wise decision," spoke the voice. "However, it is a dangerous one. Once you have gone
deep into your own darkness, you can easily forget your light. That is what happened in the life that you
have just lived. You must first surround yourself with the light that awaits you at the entrance to the
cave. It is your own light that you felt when you remembered your lover.

“When you step down into the caves of your psyche, take with you an amethyst crystal in your right
hand and a clear crystal in your left hand." A crystal materialized in each hand. "These crystals will
protect you and help you hold your light during your journey. Also, use the Violet Fire in the manner that
you used it to save your daughter. Remember that your only true enemy is the enemy within that you
are not aware of. With your crystals and the Violet Fire, begin your journey NOW."
Nubnoset stepped warily into the dark regions of the cave. She tenaciously held the crystals and
constantly chanted for the protection of the Violet Fire. The cave was in total darkness and the only light
was her own. At the entrance of the cave she had felt strong enough to make this journey, but now fear
was eroding away at her courage. She could not see where she was going or where she had been. She
was a small island of light lost in the deepest recesses of darkness.

Then, memories came to her mind, memories of lives other than the one she had just left. Lives in which
she had done to others what her father had done to her. She had kept these lives as a secret from
herself to avoid the shame and guilt that they held and she had created dungeons in her mind to hold
them. Now Nubnoset saw the threshold to this dungeon mirrored before her. On the other side of that
threshold she knew was every life which she had just remembered, every life that she had just felt.
Nubnoset sank back in horror, her light dimmed.

"Shature, Shature," called the voice that had been guiding her. Who was Shature and why was the voice
calling for her? Had she know this voice before? Was it calling her Shature?

"Yes," replied the voice. "It is you I call. YOU are Shature."

"No," she argued, "I am Nubnoset, or at least I was Nubnoset."

But, she was not sure who she was now. Since entering the cave, she realized that she had been many
people in many different lifetimes. Perhaps she had once been the person called Shature. No, wait, she
remembered now. Shature had been the name of the one who had helped her save her daughter. And
the voice, yes, it was familiar as well. A brief picture crossed her mind of a circular room with a domed

"Shature," the voice called again.

Yes, it felt like her name. The voice felt loving and so did the circular room. She wanted to trust the voice
and believe that somehow it was calling the wise woman who had helped her. Perhaps that wise
woman, Shature, WAS a part of her. Since she had had so many lives filled with darkness, then she must
have also had lives in which she developed her light. But how could she be Nubnoset and also be
Shature at the same time?

"I am a higher vibration of you," spoke Shature who was freed from the depths of Nubnoset's
unconsciousness by her Guide's call and by Nubnoset's awareness of her. "I have come into you from
another dimension so that I may guide you. The voice you have heard is my Guide."

Deep within her heart Nubnoset felt Shature's love, but shame for the life she had just lived did not
allow her to accept that love.

"I know that it is difficult for you to feel your Higher Self when you have just left a life so filled with
darkness," continued Shature in a gentle, caring voice. "Because of the life you have just lived you forgot
that there was guidance upon which you could depend. But you forgot because you were so alone in
that life that you could not believe that someone cared for you. Even I became lost in you-just as you
were lost. But because you remembered love and followed the light, I have awakened in you. Now I can
assist you in balancing your darkness with your light.

"Feel me within you as we enter the dungeon. Allow my power, my wisdom, and my love to be yours.
Feel me within you as I speak through you."

Nubnoset did not understand all that Shature told her, but she could feel a wisdom, a power and a love
inside of her that had never been present before. Nubnoset, with Shature awakened within her, bravely
stepped across the threshold of her dungeon. Before her was a long hallway with rows of cells on either
side. The scent of decay was nauseating.

The vision of horror made her want to shield her eyes and the sounds of agony threatened to dim her
light. She clung to the feeling of this other, wiser portion of herself inside of her. Nubnoset held the
crystals firmly in her hands, called upon the Violet Fire one more time, and entered the first cell.

Within this cell was a Wizard who had created a monster, simply because he could. He wanted to test
his power of creation and, since he believed he was separate from all life, it did not occur to him that
this monster might prey on others. In the end, it preyed upon him and caused his death. The monster
and its creator had been locked in mortal combat ever since. Nubnoset shone the Violet Light into the
cell. She walked through the bars, knowing that they were just an illusion. The monster and the wizard
turned and, for one brief moment, ceased their endless battle.

"Who are you?" they asked together.

"I am the sum total of all that I have been," spoke Shature through the astral form of Nubnoset. "I have
come here now to claim you as a portion of myself."

"Why would we wish to join you?" they sneered.

"You have no choice. I am you and you are me. I now step into you and embrace you with my Light. I
neither judge you nor fear you. When I was a child, I spoke as a child and acted as a child. Now I am of
the ONE and I embrace the children of my Soul. "The Light of my total Self now fills this cell!"

With these words, the monster and the Wizard were transformed into pure creation and creator.

Nubnoset, with Shature as her inner guide, then moved through each cell shining the Violet Fire and
embracing the darkness with the light. There was a Priestess of the Darkness from ancient India and an
evil witch in early England. There were vicious warriors who cared only for the blood of others, and glory
for themselves, and cruel, brutal men who turned their women into slaves to be used for their service
and pleasure. There were manipulative women who pulled men into their web like a black widow spider
and used their seductive power to harm others.

All of these, and more, were absorbed into the Light.

Down and down the rows of cells walked Nubnoset with Shature radiating from within her until all the
cells were absorbed and transmuted by the light. The dungeon was empty now and Nubnoset had to
transform it as well.

"I must now clear this dungeon with my Light," Shature and Nubnoset now spoke as one voice. "I must
own this dungeon as my own by taking responsibility for its creation. As I stand in the center of this
dungeon of my Soul-I NOW forgive myself. I was learning to be a creator and I created separation and
limitation. I then abandoned my creations and sent them to this prison deep within myself. I NOW am
beyond the time and space of separation and I NOW stand in the center of this dungeon and project my
light into each crevice and corner to clear all the density of fear, greed, and selfishness.

"I shall return, again and again, to transmute the accumulation of my own secret darkness and absorb it
into my Light.

"Blaze, Blaze, the Violet Fire

Transmuting ALL shadow into


Nubnoset stepped from the cave and took one last look at the life she had left. Below her Nephrite was
opening the top drawer of the red dresser and pulling out a cartouche made of a metal she had never
seen. She held it by its long chain up to a ray of early morning light that entered a room once filled with
darkness. A violet light flashed before the girl's eyes and illumined her face. Nephrite smiled and pulled
the chain over her head. The cartouche hid beneath her gown and rested upon her heart. The room was
suddenly filled with brightness. Had more sun entered the room or was that the light of Nubnoset's

There is a power coming down

into every cell and atom
that will lead me to a life
which I now can only fathom.

This power is all mine,

but I often doubt that fact.
It's of a me I can't recall
though I know there was a pact.

A pact between my Higher Self

and the one I know as me
to keep my faith, hold the Light,
and be all I can be.

There is a feeling deep inside

that fills me up with love.
It rises from the Mother
and descends from up above.

This feeling courses through me

and prepares me for the Power
that's waiting for expression
like the blooming of a flower.

Oh, how can I contain it

and what will I create?
Will I birth all that I care for
or that which I berate?

For judgments that I give

are judgments I receive
and that which I do run from,
first I must conceive.

I must rise above my judgment,

question, fear, and pain
to remember all I’ve learned
so WISDOM I can gain.

"Hello again," I'll say with LOVE

when pain comes in my life
"You'll have to leave, you cannot stay
I'm through with pain and strife."

For first in my creation

is peace of mind and heart.
It’s from this firm foundation
that my new life now will start.

A new life filled with wonders

I dared not want before,
a life that's filled with power
resounding from my core.

I know that what I must release

is a tiny price to pay
to clear my life and make a space
so the POWER then can stay.

The second red door is marked: EMOTIONS

We go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
Repressed emotions create thoughts that are "unconscious."

Emotions from our fourth dimensional astral body interface with our physical bodies via our hormones
and biochemistry. Since these dark feelings cannot be accessed by our conscious mind, our body's
discomfort from keeping these secrets is projected to our consciousness as “dis-ease.”

These hidden emotions create an overall sense of dread that feels like a dense, heaviness in our bodies
and/or a floating anxiety that keeps us hyper-vigilant, jumpy and nervous. Depression numbs our
emotions, makes us eat and sleep too much, not enough, or at the wrong time. Then our bodies are
even more uncomfortable, which makes us feel like the “victim” of our emotions.

In this condition, our desire for sex becomes a statement of our desperate need for love and/or the
conquests of a failing ego. In a vain attempt to control our emotions we seek out drugs and alcohol.
Each substance creates a certain "emotional feeling" and temporarily serves the purpose of dampening
the emotions that constantly haunt us.

The second chakra best exemplifies the red Emotions Door because this chakra is the storehouse for our
most primal and basic emotions. These are emotions that we felt in our early childhood, as well as
survival-based emotions such as fear of survival, rage for injustice, sorrow over great loss, and the
simple joy of being alive.

The emotions of the second chakra are pure emotions without the interaction of mental programming,
which are more the emotions of the third chakra. If we can allow our second chakra to open its vault of
stored emotions, we can heal ourselves on a very deep level and recover the wonder and joy that we
felt as a child before we "grew up."

To find the source, and heal the issues that await us beyond the Second Door, we now enter our Second
Chakra, which is located at our navel. Hence our Second Chakra is also known as the Navel Chakra.
LOCATION: The second chakra is located at the navel. The navel was once our umbilical cord that was
our attachment to our first physical home, our mother and the nurturing that she provided. The second
chakra also represents our attachment to Mother Earth as well as all the plants and creatures that call
Her home.

PETALS: This chakra has six petals or spokes. In numerology, six is the number that represents
responsibility and nurturing for family and community as well as finding balance and harmony with our

NOTE & MANTRA: The note for this chakra is D and the mantra is "vam" or "o" as in home. Chanting
these mantras in the key of D while focusing our attention on this area of our body can enable us to
more consciously access the second chakra.

COLOR: The color of this chakra is orange. Orange is the color of emotion. In the Hindu chakra system,
the color orange is associated with death of the old. This "death" refers not only to physical death, but
also to death, or total liberation, of painful emotions that have been repressed. This “death” also refers
to the discharge of the defense mechanisms that were created in order to survive those emotions, as
well as the situations that caused them.

RULES: The second chakra rules our VITAL, SENSUAL body. This chakra governs sexuality, reproduction,
emotions, instincts, food, and general communication of the body with the consciousness that lives
inside it. The second chakra rules the feminine component of sexuality, whereas the first chakra rules
the masculine component of sexuality. The second/navel chakra is more sensual than sexual. It tells us
how we feel about sex and having children, whereas the first chakra rules sex that is for enjoyment,
power, and/or procreation.

Besides reproduction, the second chakra also governs other kinds of creativity. Swimming, hiking, and
gardening make use of the second chakra's connection to nature. Sculpting and carving use materials
and objects of nature as a medium, and nature is often the "subject" of painters and photographers.
With dancing and martial arts, the navel area is seen as the base, the Hara Center, the area to be kept in
alignment with the earth so that perfect balance can be maintained.

Like the first chakra, the second chakra governs survival, but from the perspective of the feminine
polarity. The first chakra governs the fight for survival, whereas the second chakra rules the instincts for
survival. The first chakra would urge us to battle for and protect, whereas the second chakra would aid
us in using our instincts to find a safe place to hide, to live, and to rear our young. Like the first chakra,
the second chakra also rules money, but again, in a different manner. The first chakra rules money and
the power that it holds, whereas the second chakra rules money and the security that it brings.

SENSE: The sense of taste is related to this chakra. The sense of taste is important for identification of
edible vs. non-edible food and for the enjoyment of eating, which is also ruled by the second chakra.
Taste is a very emotional experience and is the basis for the nurturing and comfort that eating provides.
Eating, more specifically suckling, forms the important first bond between mother and child and serves
as comfort as well as nutrition.
Preparing and serving food is often an act of love and community, and "family meals" bind the family
together. Eating and food is very culture specific. For generations after a family immigrates to a new
area, they maintain their preference for the food of their culture because of the security and sense of
belonging that it provides.

ASTROLOGY SIGN: The astrology sign of Cancer is associated with the second chakra because Cancer
rules emotions, receptiveness and fertility.

ELEMENT: Water is the element associated with the second chakra. Our first physical home in the
amniotic sac was one of water. This chakra reflects how we feel about being in or near the water.
Psychologically, water is the metaphor and symbol for emotion. The second chakra deals with "gut
instincts," basic emotions such as fear, rage, and joy and basic interpersonal emotions that are often

The second chakra also rules the kidneys, which is where we eliminate our water. This chakra rules our
second dimensional self, which is represented by the plant kingdom and less evolved creatures such as
fish. Both plants and fish must have water to survive.

CONSCIOUSNESS: The second chakra depicts our emotional consciousness, our "animal instincts" and
our tribal consciousness. This chakra represents the mammalian portion of our brain where the limbic
system rules our emotions and short-term memory. The limbic system is an important center for
creativity and learning because it is where emotion and memory combine. We all know that it is easier
to learn when we are emotionally engaged than when we are bored. Also, a deeply loving experience is
usually imprinted in our conscious mind. However, an extremely frightening experience is often
banished to our unconscious mind, as the memory of it is too painful.

Higher mammals such as dogs and monkeys remember what they are taught because they have an
emotional relationship with the teacher, or because the food that is given as a reward makes them feel
happy and nurtured. Humans also use emotions and food as a means of reinforcement and reward.

PERSONAL TIMELINE: The second chakra represents ages 2 to 4 when the child is going beyond basic
survival and is beginning to develop his or her position in the family. It is also a time when they are
creating their own sense of individuality, but they are still dependent on their "tribe". It is at this age
that children are beginning to associate their emotions with specific events, but they are dependent on
their caregivers for interpretation and guidance. Emotional events that occur during this age are often
unconscious to our adult self, but they form the basis of many of our core beliefs about our selves and
our abilities.

SOCIAL TIMELINE: Anthropologically, the second chakra represents the time when civilization
advanced beyond living in caves and was able to settle into tribes. At this time, many tribes began
agriculture and animal husbandry. Since the people lived off the land, they worshiped the Goddess with
ceremony and sacrifice.
ENDOCRINE GLAND: The endocrine glands for the second chakra are the gonads, which consist of both
male and female sex organs. These include the ovaries, testes, and prostate gland. The prostate gland is
also ruled by our first chakra. Hormones have a strong influence on mood, as any woman with PMS will
confirm. What is not as often noted is the interaction between testosterone and adrenaline. When a
man's fight/flight syndrome is activated, the adrenaline in his system interacts with the testosterone to
create an explosive combination. Steroids also create strong emotional reactions.

Healthy male and female sexual organs make our personality radiant and magnetic, our eyes sparkling
and luminous, and give us an air of self-reliance. The inner warmth of vibrant sex glands prevents the
tendencies for inflexibility, hardening, and stiffening that can come with aging. In fact, a healthy active
sex life can bring a vitality and balance to life even in our "old age."

NERVE PLEXUS: The second chakra is located at the lumbar plexus, which rules the reproductive
system, abdomen, and lumbar region of the back.

CLEAR: When the second chakra is clear we feel patient, enduring, nurturing, and secure. We feel
intimate with our family, friends, neighborhood, and planet. We feel "at home" in our bodies and are
able to communicate with our "self." Our emotions are balanced, and we are able to trust our instincts
and "gut feelings."

Our sex life is natural and loving, and we are able to balance both the male and female components of
sexuality. We eat the healthy food in the correct amount for our bodies' needs and enjoy the comfort
and nurturing free of any addictive behaviors. Our elimination of waste material is regular and our sex
organs, bladder, and kidneys are healthy.

UNCLEAR: When the second chakra is unclear, we feel impotent, frigid, or over-sexed. We may not be
able to enjoy sex or we may use it as an addiction to cover what we are really feeling. We may feel
disassociated from our friends and family and ill at ease within our home. Our eating and drinking can
become addictive in that we eat or drink to comfort ourselves and to cover emotions that we don't want
to consciously face.

Fear and anger are just beneath the surface of our awareness, which makes us anxious and/or
depressed. Old core beliefs of limitation and fear sabotage our behavior and keep us in "survival mode."
Life feels like a day-to-day struggle, and we feel like we are living hand-to-mouth because we are unable
to make enough money to feel comfortable in our home and secure in our family life.

EARTH'S CHAKRA: Although our Western minds have discounted it, the Earth is a living being just as we
are. In "evolving" beyond our tribal consciousness, we have lost our association with and respect for the
planet who is a Mother to us all. Mother Earth's second chakra is in the Brazilian Amazon. This is a fitting
place for Her second chakra for it is a paradise of fertility and growth. That is, if we humans do not
continue to destroy it.

DIMENSIONS: The second chakra rules our second and third dimensional bodies. This chakra, more
than any other, represents our humanoid "animal." Animals have emotions, just as we do, ask any pet
lover. It is through conscious, third dimensional awareness of our second dimensional emotions that we
are able to become the protectors of Mother Earth, rather than Her destroyers. If we feel the warmth
and protection of a tree, if we can honor the food that we eat and the water that we drink, we will not
want to pollute or destroy our planet that provided them for us.

However, if we harbor repressed emotions of terror and rage, we will see the world around us as an
enemy, which we must conquer. When we can heal our past pain, we can feel our connection to the
Earth and all Her creatures. It is vital that we love our own bodies, for when we can truly love and
respect our own bodies, we can love and protect the Earth whose body we call home.

SUMMARY: The second chakra symbolizes our emotions and how they inform us of our feelings about
life and our selves. Unfortunately, emotions are often dominated by the pain, guilt, anger, and fear from
our past. This backlog of old negative emotions acts like a full wastebasket, and one more piece of paper
is enough to cause the contents of the wastebasket to spill out. Our unconscious, specifically the
unconscious which is harbored in our second chakra, is that wastebasket. Our repressed emotions are
the old pieces of paper that fill it.

Too often we are operating at the edge of "overwhelm" and cannot allow ourselves to "feel" too much
for fear that the damn will burst. However, our emotions are important gauges to guide us through both
our inner and outer lives. If we can allow ourselves to consciously “have our emotions” without losing
our self-control so that “our emotions have us,” they can serve us much like the gauges on the
dashboard of our car. These “gauges” tell us when we need repair, when all is working well, when we
are in danger, and when we are safe.

The brain centers for emotion and memory are intimately related. Our memory works by association
and memories filled with the same emotions are stored in the same "file." Therefore, repressed
emotions from our forgotten past threaten to "tack onto" present situations that activate the same
emotion. At this point, the past emotions amplify our present emotions to inappropriate levels.

For example, if we suffered a loss in childhood and never received adequate comfort and support, we
will be over sensitized to any losses that we experience as adults. In other words, our "sorrow" file is
filled. Since we have repressed our childhood experience, we cannot understand why we feel such
sorrow in reaction to what seems to be a relatively insignificant event.

Fortunately, our child is alive and living in our unconscious mind. If we can give our inner child what was
needed before and never received, we can begin to heal our old pain. In this manner, we will learn to
discriminate between the pain of our childhood and the pain of the present. Then, we can take a
moment to reassure our inner child that he or she is safe and that we, the adult, will handle the
situation at hand.

One of the foundations for creativity is the sensual sensitivity of our physical body. If we can clear the
fear and pain from our past, we can begin to feel our emotions with the same power and clarity that we
did as children. When we can do that, we will awaken the wonderful imagination that we "grew out of"
as adults. If we can consciously communicate and love inner child, we can be intuitively tuned in, as well
as solidly rooted in a mature understanding of how we create our reality.

Most of us do not turn within to ask for answers until we are forced to do so by feelings of failure or
experiences of fear and pain in our outer world. This fear of “looking inward” is largely due to the many
“skeletons in our closet,” which we are only aware of unconsciously. Our inner life indeed holds pain and
sorrow, but it also holds joy and beauty.

The child that is within us can feel pure emotions without the interactions of mental "shoulds" and
"should nots." These clear, honest emotions carry the truth of our early childhood and how those
experiences shaped us into who we are today. As children, we created a safe reality with our then-active
imagination. In that world, we were important, powerful, beautiful, and/or smart.

In fact, we were anyone and anything that we wished to be. In other words, as children, the veil
between the third and fourth dimensions was thin. Hence, we had access to the power of manifestation
on the Astral Plan. In our innocent, child-mind, the reality that we created was as real, if not more real,
than outside world in which we were young, powerless, naughty, and sometimes bad.

Locked within that safe world of our creation is the secret of the person that we really are and the
person we have allowed ourselves to be "talked out of being" as adults. Perhaps we can convince our
child to share that world with us. However, first we must gain the attention, respect, and love of our
child self. Finally, if we wish to re-enter that world, we must be willing to "become as little children".

A Child's Adventure in Faerie

Dear Inner Child,

I want to hear your story. I am sorry that I have ignored you for the better
part of my adult life. I know that you hold wonderful mysteries for me and
have memories of the fourth dimension that I have forgotten—or

You see, Suzy, it hurt me too much to remember. I grew up. I got married,
twice, and had two children of my own. I could no longer crawl into a “tree
cave” and hide inside my mind.
To tell you the truth, I got lost. Before I realized what had happened, I was grown up and Imagination
had become Responsibility. So, I put you out of my mind, as though I were jealous of you or something.
No, that is not the truth. As much as I cherish the memories that you hold for me, I am glad I am no
longer a child.

I am sorry that I have ignored you just like the people in your story. You have held a treasure for me for
all these years and I have not once thanked you for that service.

I want to thank you now and listen while you tell me your story.
Thank You Suzy,

Your Adult Self


“Where am I? Who was that voice?”

“It is me—your adult self.” I can see my inner child, but now she does not
appear to be able to see me.

“I think someone is trying to talk to me,” she mutters to herself, “but the voice
sounds far above me and I am in a deep, dark cave. Yes, as I look around, I see
that I am in a cavern. I should be scared, but I’m not.

“I guess it’s because I am so happy to have someone say they want to really
hear about me. I don’t know if I can trust the voice or not. Lots of times people
say they want to talk to me. Then, when I tell them what I really want to say,
they laugh and pat my head.

“Isn’t that cute. What an imagination,” they say.

“But it‘s not my imagination. It’s my life—the way I see it. No adults see life the way I do. No one hears
what I hear or even seems to know what I know. And, even when they do talk to me, the colors around
their heads say one thing and their mouths say another. I still don’t know what to believe. I only know
that if their colors match their words—they ARE telling the truth.

“Well, before I worry about who is trying to talk to me, I need to find out where I am. WHERE I am? It’s
kind of dark, but light is coming from an opening just over there.

“Hey, what was that? Something passed right in front of the light. Why, it’s a person. Great! I think. I
hope it’s not an adult. I’d better go over and see. Yes, there are other people here, but they aren’t
paying any attention to me—as usual. Maybe I can get them to tell me where I am.

“Hello, my name is Suzy. Do any of you know where we are?”

No response.

They just continue to wander around the cave with empty looks on their faces. I wonder why they won’t
answer me. Oh, now I see. They are all adults.

“Hello. What are your names? Do you remember how we got here?”

Again, no response.

“Hey, why won’t you answer me,” asks Suzy.

Still, no response.

“These people will never talk to me. I don’t think they even know I’m here. I’m getting out of this creepy

I watch Suzy as she runs from the cave and up a small hill. What she sees then stops her in her tracks.
Before her is a beautiful green valley with colors so bright that she almost has to shade her eyes. The
trees are huge, the flowers are as big as she is and the sky is deep blue with fat, fluffy clouds lazily
floating about.

Suzy excitedly runs down into the valley, forgetting about the unreal people and my own call to her. She
does not have to walk far before she comes upon a waterfall. The water jumps merrily across rocks,
reflecting every imaginable color. Flowers grow in profusion right up to the edge of the water, and
hundreds of butterflies and insects visit their blooms.

Suzy’s face lights up at the vision before her as she runs to investigate the waterfall. Being a
child, she cannot resist putting her hand into the rippling water.

“Hello,” says a voice that seems to come from inside the waterfall.

“Who said that?” asks Suzy, as she jumps back.

“I did,” said the voice.

“I'm sorry, I don't see anyone. Is there a person in there? Please come out. I want to talk to you.”

“Oh no, I couldn't do that. I am the water. In fact, I am the waterfall.”

“This is very puzzling,” says Suzy. “People here don’t talk, but water does! I have never talked to a
waterfall before. Ah, Miss. Waterfall, do you mind if I ask you how it feels to be a waterfall? I mean, a
part of you is always coming and another part of you is always going. Do you miss the part of you that
travels down the river?”

“My, my,” returns the waterfall, “I'm afraid I do not understand your question. I am water. I am the
water before the waterfall and the water after the waterfall. I am the water that joins the ocean and the
water that falls from the sky. I don’t miss anything because I’m never separated from it.”
“Oh,” says Suzy in a sad voice. “I’m separated from everyone. In fact, I don’t even know where I am or
how I got here. Can you tell me where this place is?”

“Why of course,” the waterfall replied, “this is the water.”

“No, I mean, where is this whole place, not just the water?”

“I'm sorry, I don't understand you again. I only know the water. Perhaps you could ask the tree. He
seems to know a great deal.”

“Thank you very much for your help—I guess,” says Suzy as she walks away muttering. “Ask the tree? I
guess the tree talks too. This place is weird. Well, maybe the tree can tell me where I am.”

Suzy walks to the nearby tree that the waterfall must have been talking about. The tree is
huge with a gnarly trunk and long branches that almost touch the ground. If she had been in
a play-mood, like she was at Grandma’s house, she would have climbed the tree. But now,
she had serious business to attend to.

“Hello, Mr. Tree, can you tell me where I am?”

The tree does not respond and Suzy walks around it several times calling for its help. Finally, she decides
to tap on it to get its attention.


“Hello—Hello in there. What kind of tree are you? Are you a talking tree?”

“I am a tree that does not like to be hammered on, thank you.”

“I'm sorry, but you wouldn’t answer me.”

“Well, I didn't think you were talking to me. You see humans don’t talk much here.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed. But, can you help me?”

“Well,” replies the tree, in a wise old voice. “They say that I know more around these parts than
anything else does.”

“Good. Could you possibly tell me where I am?”

“Of course. You are here.”

“Wait, I'm afraid that does not give me much information. You see, I don't know where 'here' is.”

“Well,” replies the tree, rather impatiently, “here is where you are. I can't be clearer than that.”

“If I am 'here' now, then where was I when I was talking to the waterfall?”

“That is easy. Then you were 'there'.”

“Thank you anyway, Mr. Tree.”

Suzy walks away from the tree disappointed. How would she ever find out where she was? Even though
water and trees talked here, they didn’t seem to think like people think. She needed to find a talking
person. Across a small sun filled meadow she sees a large rock with more of those empty-faced people
standing by it.

“Hello, hello. Can you see me?” says Suzy as she runs towards them.

“Of course I can see you,” says a voice.

“Who said that? Oh, at last, a person I can relate to!”

"I am not a person. I am a rock."

"Oh, no, more talking things, I wonder if the rock can me tell me where I am. Oh well, what could I lose?
I might as well ask the familiar question.

"Mr. Rock, can you tell me where I am?"

"Please, I am Miss Rock. Can't you tell the difference?"

"I'm very sorry. Can you tell me where I am Miss Rock?"

"Of course," she replies. "Why, you are there."

“Yes, that is what the tree said. Maybe I should try a different question. Tell me, Miss Rock, why is it that
none of the people here talk?"

"Why, you are talking, aren't you?"

"Of course, I am talking, but what about the others?"

"What others? Why, you are the first person I have seen in a long time."
"But what about the people right in front of you?” Suzy says impatiently, pointing to a small group
gathered to the right of the rock, “Aren't they people?"

"Heavens no! They are thought forms. I wish the people who come here would take their thoughts with
them when they leave, but they seldom do. I hope you will be neater. These thought forms are so
useless. I'm sure if the people could have seen their thoughts, they would never have left them hanging
around for others to see."

"They look just like people, but you are right, they are nothing to be proud of. They appear to have no
life in them."

"No," answers the rock, "you see, they are without love and therefore, can have no life. They also have
no souls so they have no way to gain the love that could free them."

"That is very sad. “Do you suppose I could help them?"

"I doubt it. They don't even know you exist, do they?"

"They certainly don’t. Would the people know their thought form bodies if they came back here again?"

"Oh, those people will never come back here, you see, they hated it here. They didn't like a Nature that
could talk to them. They needed to feel that they were the most powerful creatures and the only ones
that had life and rights. I'm sure they are all back on Earth kicking rocks and chopping down trees.
Luckily, we will not harm their thought forms like they harm us."

"Do you know how those people got here and how they left?” Suzy asks anxiously, thinking she may
finally get some answers.

"I'm not sure. But they were all talking about something called a 'dream'."

"My. I wonder if I am asleep."

"No," says the rock, "you are different. I mean, I'm not sure what sleep is, but I know you are different
than the rest. None of them ever talked to us. If we talked to them, they became very frightened and
ran away. That is, of course, if they even heard us."

"Maybe that is why their thought forms look so sad."

"What is sad?" asks the rock.

"It is an emotion. Do rocks and trees and waterfalls have emotions?"

“I hope not," replies Miss Rock. "I would never want to look like they do when they have

"But there are good emotions, too. There is happiness and love. You were talking about love—that is an
"Not to us. Love to us is a way of being. We do not feel love. We ARE love."

"You know, I think you guys—I mean, things—are smarter than us. People seem to always want to get
Love, but they seldom want to be Love. I think I like this place. I’m going to look around some more.
Thank you very much, Miss Rock. You have been very helpful. I will see you later."

"I'll be right here," she replies.

Suzy leaves Miss Rock behind to begin her search for other forms of life.

“Wherever I am, this place is much nicer than my home. I would rather be with these 'things' than
'people' any day,” she mutters to herself as she looks around in search of her next adventure.

Beside her is a long bush and something appears to be moving in it.

“I see something or someone moving in that bush. At last, maybe something can walk
around with me and show me what’s going on here.”

"Hello, Hello," she calls to the bushes, “Do I see something moving? I know I look like a
person, but I am very nice and am not frightened of you. Please come out and talk to me. I really need
something to move around with me."

Nothing happens.

Either Suzy imagined she saw something, or it was hiding from her. Wait, there it is again. It’s very small
and seems to be flying.

"Please, come out in the open where I can see you. I promise I will be friendly. Please come out. I will
wait right here and close my eyes. You call me when you want me to open them."

Suzy sits in a small ball on the ground and closes her eyes real tight. She can only wait and hope that the
small flying thing will trust her enough to come out of its hiding place. Suzy sits as quietly as a mouse,
waiting and hoping she can make a friend.

"Hello," she hears a tiny voice say. "You can open your eyes if you want."

Suzy gradually opens her eyes and is surprised to see a small multi-colored fairy flying just before her.

"Oh, hello," she says happily. "You are a fairy and you are multi-colored."

"Yes," says the fairy, in a singing voice. "My name is Lucille."

"My name is Suzy. I knew my imagination was right. I have always believed in fairies. When I played in
Grandma’s backyard, fairies were my best friends. They used to hide in flowers and I would try to find
them. I didn't see them as much when I started to grow up, though. The adults told me there was no
such thing. I think I started to believe the adults instead of myself. It made me very sad and lonely to be
without fairies.
“It seemed that adults always did things to make me sad and lonely. Then I became an adult. That was
the hardest thing I ever did. Being an adult is very, very difficult. I'm glad I came here, wherever it is, and
became a child again. Now I can have fairy friends. I am so happy. I don't think I will ever leave here."

"Yes you will. You all leave sooner or later."


"Well, first, most people don't like this place, even the ones who come here as children start to grow up.
Then they leave, too. They say that they will return to tell the world the truth. But I never see them
again. So I don’t know if they told the world the truth or if they forgot it as soon as they left Faerie Land.

“Oh well, you are here now. I'm sorry I hid from you. But, you see some people are very mean. One of
them thought I was a bug and tried to hit me. I don't know why they would want to a hit a bug. Most
people are very hard to understand."

"I certainly agree with you on that," Suzy says. "Hey, did you say that we are in Faerie Land. Ha, I was
right again. I knew there was a Faerie Land. It feels so wonderful to be a child again. I never want to
grow up and leave. I don’t care if the world hears the truth. They didn’t listen to me as a child. Why
would they listen to me as an adult?

“Why don't we play? There aren't any flowers here for you to hide in, but maybe you know another

"I'm sorry," Lucille says, "but I can't play now. I was on my way to work when you saw me. I must hurry
or I will be late."

"Work? I didn't know fairies worked."

"Of course, we have to teach the baby flowers to keep their form. It is very difficult for them
at first. If they don't keep a perfect picture in their beings they will cease to be. It is our job
to give them love. With our love they can better keep their form."

"Please, can I help? I have always loved flowers, especially baby ones."

"Well, you can try. But usually people are too selfish. They start thinking how they want the flowers to
be instead of loving them for how they are."

"Oh, maybe I can watch you and learn the way to do it."

"OK, but we must hurry. They need me now. I can feel they are growing tired."

Suzy and Lucille take off over a hill together, with Lucille flying and Suzy running. Just over the top of the
hill is a huge garden with every kind of flower spread out across the countryside like a living, growing
carpet. The flowers are grouped in clusters of color with each group lovelier than the next.
The beauty is so complete that Suzy can hardly catch her breath. As she stands in utter silence and
amazement at the top of the hill, she hears a sound like a chorus of people singing different tunes.
Although each tune sounds different, they all seem to blend into one magnificent chorus.

"What is that beautiful singing?" she asks Lucille.

"That is the flowers talking."

Of course, if trees and rocks and waterfalls could talk, then why couldn't a flower?

"Hurry, we must go to the nursery."

Suzy follows Lucille on a path through the flowers.

"It would be quicker to fly over the tops of the flowers, but you can't fly yet and you would disturb the
flowers in their beds," comments Lucille.

"What do you mean 'yet'? Do you mean I can learn to fly here?"

"Of course! I will teach you after work."

They follow a trail that leads over a small rise and into another valley that is a lush green with hints of
color peaking out from their buds.

"This is the nursery," says Lucille proudly. "You can see that some of the babies are beginning to open."

"Lucille," Suzy asks, "I wonder if I could go talk to the grown flowers? I have always wanted to talk to a
flower. And maybe if I did, I'd know better how to love them as babies."

"That sounds like a great idea. You can come back here when you are done. But remember,
don't step in their beds. These flowers are different from the ones you know and the
ground around them is very special. If it is disturbed by your weight, it could be harmful."

"I promise I will be very careful."

As Suzy returns to the flowerbeds, the first flowers she meets are the lilies.

"I think I will talk to the pink ones first," she says to herself.

"Hello, Mr. Lily, or are you a Miss?" she says remembering the rock.

"What, a talking person? Oh my! Hey guys, look at this, this person talks. We thought people just
wandered around with dead looking faces. We didn't know you could talk."

"Well, I guess I am one of the few here who do talk. Where I come from, however, flowers don't talk—at
least to people. I always used to talk to the flowers in the yard, but I could never hear them talking back
like you."
"You must come from a very unusual place. Here everything that has life can talk to everything else.
That is, of course, except for most people. The people don't seem to even see us, much less talk to us,"
complains the lily.

"Yes, I know, they didn't talk to me either, but the waterfall, the tree, and the rock did. Then I met
Lucille the fairy, and she brought me here."

"My, my! Well, how can I be of assistance to you, young talking person?”

"I want to help Lucille love the baby flowers, and I want to ask you how I should do it."

"Hmmm, there are no 'shoulds' in love. And nothing can tell you how to love. Love is there or it isn't. If
there is doubt, then it isn't."

"But people often don't know if they love someone or something."

"I know," replies the lily. "That is exactly why people have a hard time loving the baby flowers to life.
You see fairies know only love. They don't have to 'do' anything. They simply 'are'. In being themselves
in their natural purity, they can form a model for the baby flowers to follow.

“I remember my fairy helper from long ago when I was a baby. She was as perfect as I could ever dream.
Her color was an exact match for me and I could maintain it by seeing her. She was also very strong, like
us lilies. She loved the early spring and was out and about long before most fairies, except for the
narcissus and the daffodil fairies."

"That sounds wonderful," Suzy says. "I wish I could love like a fairy."

"You can! In fact, I feel you do. When I am near you, you feel warm like the sun. That is a very special
feeling to be able to give."

"Why, thank you." Suzy says, feeling a little embarrassed. "I have really enjoyed talking to
you. I think I will go over and talk to the roses."

"Great idea, you will enjoy them. Roses and people have always been very close."

Suzy continues on the path, but she is so intent on waving goodbye to the lilies that she almost bumps
into a beautiful rose. The rose bush is very large and the flower is right at her eye level. Suzy stands in
awe, looking directly into the rose's face.

"Excuse me for staring," she apologizes, "but you are the most beautiful rose I have ever seen."

"Why thank you,” says the rose in a beautiful singing voice. This rose is definitely female.

“I feel like you could be my mother. I would love to curl up in your lap (if you have one), but the thorns
would stick me. Tell me, Miss Rose, why does something as beautiful as a rose have such prickly
"Because, my dear," the regal rose replies kindly, "beauty often needs protection."

"Protection from what?"

"Why, protection from destruction. You see, others want beauty and may harm what they fear they
cannot have.”

"But no one could harm you in this kind place,” Suzy replies.

"That is true, my dear, but many of our brothers and sisters must live in the other world ‘where people
live. We hold our protection here to help them. You see we are a large family. What influences one of us
influences all of us. A victory for one is a victory for all, and a challenge for one is a challenge for all."

"That is nice. I wish it were that way with people."

"But it is." sings the rose, “Unfortunately, most people don’t know it. We try to show people that even
though we are a separate and individual rose, we are linked together by the bush from which we draw
nourishment and strength."

"If roses were never around people, would they drop their thorns?”

"My dear, we must always be around people. It is part of our reason for being. We can remind humans
of the beauty of Nature. Someday, people will understand that it is better to find one’s own beauty than
to try to steal another’s. Then perhaps we can drop the thorns,” the rose replies sadly.

"You have reminded me about beauty and also about how mean people can be. That is why I want to
stay here. The fairy said she would teach me to fly. Isn't that wonderful? Well, I had better get back to
her. She is probably wondering why I have been gone so long. Goodbye, dear Rose. Thank you for your
beauty," Suzy says as she turns to leave.

"And thank you for your admiration,” replies the rose. Sometimes it gets lonely here without people to
appreciate us. I am very happy you came by."

“I can’t imagine anyone being lonely for people here. I am really enjoying the freedom of not having
them around. However, there are a few people whom I would have liked to have brought here.

“I know they would love this place. We appreciate and love each other in the way Miss Rose described. I
wish all people were like that. Then maybe all the beings of Nature would talk to us there like they do
here,” Suzy says, partially to herself, as she walks along the path.
Returning to her search for Lucille, Suzy then runs up the path. Before too long, she sees her Lucille
helping a petunia grow. Happy to see her fairy friend again, she rushes to find out if Lucille is almost
finished with work.

“I’m sure I have learned a lot about flowers,” she says to herself. “I can’t wait to tell Lucille. Lucille,
Lucille, where are you?

“I wonder where she went. I saw her just a minute ago by these petunias, but now I don't see her

"Lucille, Lucille, where have you gone?

“I hope I haven't lost her. I finally found a real friend and now I have lost her. Wait, there is something
moving over in the daisy patch. I’ll run over and see if it is she.

"Hello, Lucille? Is that you in there?"

<center </center

"No, I'm not Lucille. My name is Jerome. Lucille was called on an emergency. Can I help you? My, you
are a talking person aren't you? I don't see many around here these days."

"Yes, I am a real, talking person and I am very upset that Lucille left me stranded here. I thought she was
my friend," says Suzy, almost crying.

"Don't cry, young person. I'm sure Lucille has not forgotten you. She will be right back. I will be glad to
stay with you until she returns," he reassures in a comforting voice.

"I'm not going to cry," Suzy says indignantly. "It's just that this place is so confusing and I don't know
how I got here."

"I can tell you that."

"You can? Oh, please do tell me, Jerome. That would help me so much."

"You came here," he says in a very calm voice, "because you were ready. Only people who are ready can
come here."

"Ready for what?"

"You are ready to ‘grow’, as a flower or tree grows. You are ready to ‘be’ as steady as a rock and as light
as a cloud. Children have that ability naturally, but usually lose it when they become older."

"Is that why I changed into a child when I came here?"

"Yes, that is often what happens. When people grow up again into an adult they return to Earth."

"Not me. I will stay here forever. Lucille is going to teach me to fly."
"You don't know how to fly yet? I forgot that people usually can't fly when they come here. Of course,
you already can fly. It is only your doubts that hold you back. Just release your heart and then you will
automatically fly," Jerome explains.

"I don't understand what you mean by releasing my heart. How can I do that?"

"You must love it free," he says, as if everyone knew what that meant.

"I'm sorry, but where I come from, people don't love things free. In fact, when they love
something, they usually want to own it."

"Dear, dear, no wonder the people who come here are so unhappy. I am beginning to understand why
you want to stay here."

"I am so sad. I so wanted to learn how to fly, but I really don't know how to love my heart free."

"Maybe you could start with something easier than your own heart. Let me think," he says while
scratching his small chin. "What is there that is easy to love free?"

"I know," Suzy cries, “How about a butterfly. I think I could learn how to love a butterfly free. I mean, no
one could ever own a butterfly, and everyone loves their beauty and flight.”

"Good idea. There are usually many Monarchs by the eucalyptus tree. Follow me."

"Wait, if we leave here, Lucille won't know where I am."

"No problem with that. We fairies can communicate at great distances. We just send messages over on a
beam of love."

Jerome sits down and seems to be concentrating very hard. However, his face remains loving and

"It's done," he says. “Lucille is almost ready and will meet us there soon. She is very glad I am teaching
you to fly."

Jerome and Suzy travel over more small hills; Suzy walking and Jerome flying. Soon they arrive at a grove
of eucalyptus trees where thousands of beautiful Monarch butterflies are hanging from their leaves.
However, one small butterfly is sitting on a blade of grass.

Jerome rushes over and holds it by one of its tiny legs. The butterfly struggles, but even though Jerome
is not that much bigger than the butterfly, his hold keeps the butterfly prisoner.

"Please don't do that," Suzy calls. "The butterfly must have freedom so it can fly." Jerome lets go and the
butterfly happily flies away.

"Very good. Now wasn't that easy?"

"But I didn't do anything. All I did was stand up for the butterfly's natural rights."
"That is all there is to it. Now let's try something a little more difficult."

Just as he says that, a small gnome with a sunny face comes walking by.

"Hello, Samuel," calls Jerome.

"Why, hello there, Jerome. What? Is that a real person child you have with you?"

"Yes. Her name is -- oh, my—I don’t know your name."

"It is Suzy."

"Well then Suzy, meet Samuel."

"Hello Samuel. I am trying to learn how to love things free. I think I did it with a butterfly, but I don't
understand how I did it."

"We gnomes are very good at that. In fact, I am on my way to free a small deer who is trapped in a
ravine. We keep very busy with that business. Would you like to join me?"

"Oh, yes," Suzy exclaims "Jerome, can you tell Lucille what is happening?"

However, almost as soon as she utters the words, Lucille flies towards them.

"Hello, hello," she says happily. "What an adventurous day. Well, Suzy, I see you have made more
friends. Where are we going now?"

"We are going to free a deer."

With that, they all take off across a field to a deep ravine. Sure enough, at the bottom of the ravine is a
small, frightened baby deer.
"Oh my, he looks so scared. I am going down to be with him,” says Suzy as she slides down the slope to
the deer.

"Poor thing. You really do need love,” she says as she pats the frightened deer on the head to comfort
him. The deer looks up at Suzy with his big brown eyes and nudges her as if to say thank you. He even
tries to stand but can’t. Suzy sees that his leg is hurt.

"Poor deer," she says as she lovingly touches the deer’s hurt leg.

To her great surprise, the leg suddenly becomes normal and the deer lunges up the steep slope to his
waiting mother. Before she can understand what is happening, Suzy hears laughing and clapping from
above. With a happy, beaming face and a fluttering heart she runs up the side of the ravine, amazed at
how easily she can climb the steep grade.

"Very good," they all say in unison. "You are almost ready," says Jerome. "But first you need a break
from all your lessons. Come; let us all go to the Pool of Kindness for a brief swim."

Merrily they all travel across a wide field, Suzy and Samuel walking, Lucille and Jerome flying. Suzy’s feet
are barely touching the ground and, even though she is running as fast as the wind, she shows no
fatigue. Shortly, they arrive at a beautiful, crystal clear pond and stand around the edge of the pond to
see their reflections.

“Look,” cries Suzy excitedly, “Lucille’s reflection has star beams coming from her feet, Jerome has small
diamonds circling his head, and Samuel has little crosses of blue flowing from his hands.”

“Look at your reflection Suzy,” they all say in unison.

“Why, I look like an upside-down flower, and I have a strange light coming from my head. The light is
bright yellow and glistens with every color of the rainbow, and more.”

The light mesmerizes Suzy. As she stares into the light, it expands and the colors dance across the pool
growing brighter and brighter as they meet with the rays of sunlight. Suzy experiments with sending the
colors to different areas around the pool and to the many fish and plants inside the water. She watches
as each fish and plant accepts the colors in a different way and gives a nod of thanks to her.

Suddenly Suzy thinks of the poor thought forms. She remembers how Miss Rock said they were lifeless
and soulless because they had no love.

“Maybe I could give some of these colors to the thought forms,” Suzy thinks out loud. “They could really
use it.”

Suzy is concentrating on how to give the thought forms colored light and doesn’t notice that her feet are
rising above the ground.

“Look, there is a thought form on the other side of the pool.”

The thought form casts a vague image into the pool when the sun shines through it. Instantly Suzy sends
a ray of colored light into the reflection. The dim reflection grows clearer and clearer until it almost
seems to have a color of its own.

“Oh, thank you so very much,” it says to Suzy, “I wondered if I would ever find
anyone to love me free of that awful prison of emptiness. I am going to run and
see if I can pass this on to some of the other lifeless ones.”

Suzy doesn’t realize that her feet are far above the ground until she hears the
call from her friends.

“Hey Suzy,” they say together, “lets go flying.”

Suzy is so excited when she realizes that she is floating in the air that she
almost falls into the pool. Instead, she goes flying.

Samuel cries, up from the ground, “Good work, young person. I will now leave you to your fairy friends.
We gnomes have no time to fly. Our work must be here on the ground and in the earth.”

They all wave goodbye to Samuel together. Lucille, Jerome, and Suzy take off, all flying. In the distance
they see a group of thought forms with Suzy’s multi-colored friend in the middle sharing his light with
the other thought forms.

As each new lifeless thought form responds to the multi-colored one, they begin to take on his multi-
colored appearance. As Suzy’s friend gives away more and more of his light, he becomes more colorful
himself. Suzy smiles as she swiftly flies over the group. Soon they are out of vision.

“I don’t think I have ever experienced anything as wonderful as flying in my entire life. To move in a
straight line while bobbing up and down is delightful. It is like swimming except that air is much lighter
than water and I never have to hold my breath,” Suzy calls to her fairy friends.
They twitter in response and fly even faster, but Suzy has no problem keeping up. She experiments with
different strokes to move through the air, flies high—then low, stops in mid-air and even does loop-ta-
loops. Yes, flying is the most wonderful thing she has ever experienced.

Finally, even an excited child and two agile fairies need to rest and they look for a place to sit.

“Look,” says Suzy, “there is Mr. Tree. I talked to him earlier. He will be very happy to see that I can fly.
Can we rest there?”

“Of course,” answer her fairy friends.

They all swoop down together to rest on a high branch.

“Well, talking person,” chuckles Mr. Tree. “I see that you can fly now.”

“Yes, I can fly anywhere I want to now, but I found that it is best of all to keep my mind clear as a
rainbow and follow my heart.”

“You are a very smart young person,” replies the tree who knows everything.

“Love is the guiding force here in Faerie.”

“Why isn’t love the guiding force where I come from?” asks
Suzy with a very sad face.

“Oh dear, it is,” interjects Lucille. “It’s just that the adults
there have forgotten.”

“Well, I am NOT going back there to remind them.”

“You don’t have to go back Suzy. You are already there as an


“You mean that I am an adult too?”

“Yes, and your adult is also a child. Now that you have learned
to love yourself free, maybe you can help your adult do the
“Yes, Suzy, please help me!”

I call down into the dark cavern, out through the opening, and into the Light of Faerie.

“Help me to love myself free and to remember what I have always known—but forgot.”

In Faerie night the land is far.

The home of all is on a star.

The moon is bright, but gives no light

because it hides the Ones from sight.

To look upon a fairy’s play

will mean you see not one more day.

Their secret is now kept within

a veil of darkness, oh so thin.

And, if you wish to pierce this veil,

on a moonbeam ever shall you sail.

The fairies guard this secret life

that can’t withstand a world of strife.

But, in that realm my light does hide.

I keep it there deep down inside.

Dare I risk that others know

this light within, and let it show?

Show the fairies, show their play,

release my fear, and pave the way.

The way to know and see around

another world that does abound.

From the corner of a young child’s eye,

It’s always there ~ it’s not a lie.

Could it be safe to say its real

and, if I do, will I break a seal?
A seal between the life that hides
and the life outside that rants and cries.

I can’t hold back, not one more day,

for of this place I now must say,

“I release all secrets and hold them bright

and show the world my Faerie Light.”

I call and call to my inner child, but I think she has abandoned me just as I abandoned her.

"Suzi, Suzi," I call down into the cavern inside of myself. "I so want to share your experience. In fact, I
wish I too could go down into the cavern, out through the opening, and into the wonderful land of

"You can't do that," I finally hear Suzi's response. "Adults can't be here. This place is just for children."

"That's not fair," I wine, sounding like a child myself.

But it is fair. Adults aren't welcome here because they always want to change things. They want to dam
up the waterfall, cut down the tree, and pick all the flowers. Everything here is supposed to stay the
same for everyone to enjoy. Adults always want to 'own' things just for themselves."

"Yes, Suzi, I can't ague with that. But, I don't want to own anything. In fact, I don't even want to be there
as an adult. Why have we adults forgotten the simple joys of childhood? Why can't we just sit under a
tree or watch a waterfall. We are always working and trying. I wish I could just play!" I say sadly as tears
well up in my eyes.

Then I feel a small invisible hand on my shoulder. Suzi has come back up through the cavern to comfort

"Maybe if you hid inside of me. I mean, Faerie is the land of imagination isn't it. If you imagined that you
wre hiding inside of me, wouldn't that be true then?"

"It is certainly worth a try," I say, cheering up. "You have been hiding inside of me since I 'grew up'. I
don't see why I couldn't hide inside of you now. But, aren't I too big?"

"Adults! You guys have lost all your imagination. You can pretend that you are any size you want to. Just
pretend that you are littler than me."

"You are right. I forgot, but I haven't 'pretended' since I was a child." But, you are a child. You are me,

"Well then, just close your eyes and see my feet as your feet, my hands as your hands and my body as
your body."

Even though I am a bit embarrassed to be instructed by a child-my child-I do as I am told. I close my eyes
and look down at my feet with my 'imagination'. Sure enough, they are quite little and I have on Mary
Jane paten leather shoes with white ruffled socks. My legs are short and I an wearing a blue dress with
embroidery on the bodice. I reach up and find that my hair is in ringlets.

"Well, I guess I'm you now," I say to my child-to my self.

"Good," I hear her voice from inside me. "Let's go back to Faerie. I want to fly." "Me too!!"

Hey, it worked! I'm back in Faerie. Somewhere inside of me I feel my adult self. I hope she stays hidden. I
wouldn't want to get thrown out of here because I brought an adult. Haw, that's funny. I remember on
Earth, there are lots of places where kids can't go. I 'm glad to be in a place where adults can't go. No
one can tell me what to do. I think I will fly some more.

I fly and fly for a long time, but I am beginning to realize that it is not as much fun without my fairy
friends. I wonder how they are doing. I miss them. It isn't as much fun to learn to do something new if
there is no one to share it with. Oh well, I'll just let my mind be calm and I'll see where my heart takes
me. The sun is very warm and the sky is as blue as my dress. Below me are pretty, green hills covered
with trees and flowers. Sometimes, I see a small stream or tiny lake.

I hear a rumbling in my stomach. Hmm, I realize that I had not eaten since I first got here. I am afraid,
though, to eat anything because everything is alive. On Earth, I could eat some fruit or vegetables, but
what if I started to eat something and it talked to me? How can I eat something that talks? Since there
aren't many real people here (in fact, I haven't seen even one, thank heavens), I can't ask them what
people eat. Maybe if I could find something to drink. The waterfall did not seem too attached to his

Look, is that a rambling brook over there? I'll fly over there and see. I think how nice it would be to get a
drink and, sure enough, I fly in that direction. I land beside the brook on cool grass. Oh, I can smell the
clear water, the damp earth, and the many flowers growing around the brook.

"My, My, My," says the brook, in a very maternal voice (It must be Miss Brook). "A real live person child
and one who has learned to fly. You must be very special."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I am feeling pretty ordinary now. In fact, I think I am hungry."

"You must be mistaken," Miss Brook laughs. "There is no hunger here. Perhaps you just need to fill your

"But, I don't have a cup!"

"No, dear, I mean your inner cup. The place within you in which you hold the 'Flow'."
"I'm afraid I don't know what the Flow is, but I'm sure I need some of it. I am beginning to feel very

"Well, just look into me, dear child, and feel my life flowing into you. The cup is usually in your heart, but
the Flow will often come up from your feet and down from the top of your head. If you look very closely
you may see it. It is brighter than the Sun and feels like small stars coming into your body."

"Yes," I say. "I think I feel it now. My, this is wonderful."

"You can look into your heart and see your cup. See the stars entering the cup and filling it until it begins
to overflow. You will know you are filled. Then just say 'thank you' and it is done," instructs Miss Brook.

I imagine the Flow and find that I am able to do everything that the brook said.

"That was wonderful," I say. "But now my heart feels very heavy. Why?"

"Sometimes with love comes sorrow," replies Miss Brook. "It is, of course, a different kind of sorrow. It is
the sorrow of compassion. Once you become accustomed to carrying Unconditional Love in your heart,
then compassion will not feel heavy. However, when you first begin receiving Unconditional Love from
the Source, you may feel the suffering of all the worlds. That is the beginning of empathy. When you are
able to release the sorrow of suffering, you will live in a state of Unconditional Love and Compassion."

"That sounds very nice," I say, "But how do I release the sorrow of suffering?"

"When you have released sorrow from your heart it will no longer serve as a magnet to attract more."

"But I can't release my sorrow. I wish I could, but it is like an anchor in my heart and I don't know how to
free it." I began to cry.

Miss Brook's babbling sound is amazingly comforting and feels like someone is
holding me.

"You must travel down the chain of the anchor and find out what your sorrow
is hooked on," says Miss Brook in a loving voice. "Knowledge of the dark places
within yourself can release sorrow and suffering-if the knowledge is held in Love."

"But won't my heart flow away without its anchor?"

"Oh my dear, I love that you are so honest. No, my darling, your heart cannot flow away from you. But
then you may no longer be able to control it. When the anchor in your heart is free, then you are cast
adrift on the Sea of Life and the Winds of Spirit shall show you the way."

"Won't I get lost then?"

"You will get lost if you don't free yourself. You cannot chart your course unless you have a map. But it is
not the kind of map you humans are used to. When you loosen the anchor of your heart you will be led
by the Compass of Truth."
It sounds very beautiful and I don't want Miss Brook to feel bad, but I'm afraid that I don't understand
much of what she has said. Maybe if I sit real quiet beside her I may begin to understand the true
meaning of her words.

I curl up in a ball at the edge of Miss Brook, but sitting by the brook makes me feel lonely. I don't know
who, or what, or where I am missing, but I feel a tug on the anchor in my heart. As I feel this tug, a vague
memory crosses my mind and touches my heart. It is a memory of the Sparkly One that is sort of a part
of me but isn't really me, except in my imagination. I remember how I called the Sparkly One to hug me
and kiss me goodnight when I was on Earth. Her face would feel just like a cloud when she would gently
kiss me. The Sparkly One would also wake me up when I had bad dreams.

I wonder if that part of me is here? I think I will ask Miss Brook. But, first I think I need a drink. I mean,
the flow was really nice, but now I really feel like I need to drink some water. Because I don't have an
outside cup, I lean way over the brook so that I can hold some water in my hands. But, wait, something
happens when I lean out over Miss Brook. I don't feel like Suzi anymore. Thank heavens, I don't feel like
the adult hiding inside of me either. I feel more like the Sparkly One. I fill my cupped hands with the
clear, cool water of the brook. I feel a need to wash my face with this water. When I do, my face feels
like the Sparkly One's face.

I look around with my new face. When the water touches my nose, I realize that I can smell everything
around me very strongly. I smell the brook, the damp ground, the small flowers and ferns, the breeze,
and the flowers and trees. Wow, this is GREAT. I lay down flat on the ground and suddenly I feel like I am
a mouse. I roll around in the wet grass and smell the plants release their aroma as I squash them with
my body. My mouse self digs down into the ground and I feel each grain of dirt and small stone with my
tiny paws. Now I feel like an earthworm and I feel the comfort of the dirt along my body as I tunnel
through the darkness. I dig back up to the grass and climb onto a blade of grass. I am a small
grasshopper and I feel the dew upon my hind legs as I jump through the morning grass.

Wow, I want to feel this water on my whole body. I take off my Mary Jane shoes, white socks, and blue
dress and lay my body on the cool stones. I feel the water bubble over me like I am one of the stones
beneath me. I look up into the bright blue sky and watch every individual ray of light from the sun
bounce off the earth. As the Sun's rays penetrate my body, I feel my body gradually lifting into the air.
But wait, it is not my body that is being lifted into the air. It is me, but without my body. At first I am
scared, but then I remember how the waterfall was able to release his water as it moved on to its
destination. Now, I too can release my body while I journey on to another place. I float higher and
higher into the air. The sound of the brook becomes more and more distant and is now replaced by a
sweet melody that seems to be coming from an invisible flute.

I am entering a very special place that feels safe, and free. Oh my, now I don't have any body. I am like
the Sparkly One. The world around me wavers like the reflections on the Pool of Kindness. I see my
body, now far below me. It looks dense and hard like the stones in the brook. The form that I am in now
is soft and fluffy like the clouds that are floating next to me. I look up and see the vague glimmer of
another world. I really want to go there, but I feel my body in the brook calling to me. "I'm cold," it says.
"Please take me out of the water." I don't like the thought of returning because I love it up here, but I
know I must obey. I float back down to my body, but as I reach out to drag it onto the earth I find that
my hands go right through it. This is frightening. How can I move my body if I can't grab on to it?

Again my body calls me, "You must enter into me."

I don't much like that idea. I like being in this cloud body, but my physical body is starting to turn blue. I
guess I had better take care of it. I will probably want it again later. I lay down onto my body and feel as
though I am sinking into it. However, when I reach my arm towards the nearby grass I see that there are
two arms, a dense one, and a light one. Now I am getting really scared. What if I can't get back into my
body and I die? I really like Faerie, but I may want to go back to earth someday. I may even want to be
an adult again.

"Listen to me," says the brook. "My sound will bring you back to this world."

I follow the brook's directions and my body begins to change. It feels heavier and I find that it is indeed
very cold, but I still can't move it. I stare hard at my hand and see the struggle as the finer hand tries to
control the coarser one. My light body gradually becomes denser, but it was not yet inside the body in
the water. I am cold, very, very, cold. What can I do?

I know I will call to the Sparkly One to wake me up again into my physical body. "Help! Help!" I cry. Sure
enough, just like always, I feel the Sparkly One gently pushing my cloud body into my physical body. The
Sparkly One whispers into my heart. "Dear one, where your attention is, there you are also. Place your
attention on the world that your are entering instead of the world that you have come from."

I feel my two bodies become one at last and I know that I must warm myself at once. I drag myself from
the brook. I use my dress to dry me before I put it on. I also put on my shoes and socks and find a flat
rock close by that is bathed in sunshine.

"My, that was an adventure you had," I hear Miss Brook saying. "I was becoming worried about your
physical body. I am glad you were finally able to reclaim it. Tell me, how did you enjoy your trip into the
higher dimensions of Spirit?"

"Is that what that was?" I say. "I didn't understand any of it and thought it was very frightening. But I did
like being my cloud body and feeling the Sparkly One again. I would like to do it again, but next time I
want to know how to get back. Do you know why I had so much trouble?"

"Well," answers the brook, "part of the problem was that you didn't know the rules."

"What are the rules?" I anxiously ask.

"As you found out, my dear, the first rule is to put your body in a safe place."

"Yes, I did learn that. But now I am confused. How can I have two bodies?"
"Oh, my dear," says Miss Brook. "You actually have many bodies, just as a flower has many petals. Each
petal can be separated from the flower, but it will not live very long on its own. Your Spirit body is like a
flower and each petal is a different 'life'. Unlike the flower, you can separate from your spirit body and
survive quite a while. However, eventually you will return to share your life adventures with the flower
of your Spirit. You can also visit your Spirit Flower when you do what humans call 'sleep'."

"But how do I know how to return in my sleep, or when I die?"

"Although you were unable to see it, there is a fine cord that connects all of your bodies so that when
you separate, you can again rejoin. If that cord were to break, then it would be like a petal separating
and you would have a difficult time rejoining into the whole again."

"I see, I think I am beginning to understand. Is it another rule to be careful to not

break the cord?"

"Oh yes, that is a very important rule. Another important rule is to know your
Guides. They will help you greatly and keep your attention on the Light."

"My guides? Do you mean like the Sparkly One?"

"That is very likely. However, I cannot be sure since I did not see your Sparkly One.
There are many visions that come from the inside when you decide to see, but
usually, only you can see or hear them."

"Do you suppose that my Guide could help me travel down the chain in my heart to release its anchor?"

"I don't know why not," answers Miss Brook. "But you must ask for yourself. First, please take another
drink of my water. Your body needs some extra care now. Then perhaps you can find a friendly tree to
sit under so you can talk to your inner Guide."

Again, I lean over Miss Brook and use my hands to hold some of its clear, fresh water. This time I decide
to stay inside my body. Maybe after I have released my fear, I will float again and see what is in the
higher dimensions of Spirit. Umm, the water is the best taste I have ever had. In a very few swallows my
thirst is completely gone and I am full of life and warm all over. Now I am ready to find that friendly tree.

"Goodbye, dear Miss Brook," I call, as I walk away. "Thank you."

"Goodbye, Love," Miss Brook answers. "Come back whenever you need to be replenished. I am always

"I will, I will! I have learned very much from you and I promise I will soon return." I walk away
determined to find a way to remove the anchor from my heart. I see an especially nice tree just at the
top of the hill. Perhaps it could help me. As I walk towards it, I can feel its glow.

"Hello, Mr. Tree or are you a Miss?"

"Why, hello there dear flying human. I am known as Mrs. Tree. If you look around you will see my many

"How do you know I can fly? I walked over here."

"Dear Suzi, I know everything about you. You see, my birds tell me."

"Your birds?"

"Yes, there are many birds that live on me."

"Did your birds tell you what happened to me at the brook?"

"Yes dear, and I also know that you want to release the anchor in your heart."

"I definitely do. Can you help me?"

"Perhaps I can, but first I need to know what your anchor is hooked to?"

"I am not sure, but I know the anchor makes me feel heavy and sad. Maybe my anchor is hooked to
sadness. Is that possible?"

"Everything is possible. If your anchor is attached to an emotion, then you must go into that emotion in
order to release it. You know anchors are used so that the boat does not get lost in the sea while the
Captain rests. Do you attach yourself to sadness in-between your journeys?"

"I never thought about it, but I know I usually don't feel sad while I am journeying, but sometimes I
begin to feel sad when I rest. I think though, that that is because I start thinking about my problems
when I am not active."

"Tell me, young living one, are you on a journey now?"

"Oh yes, in fact this is one of my very best journeys ever."

"Do you feel sad now?" asks Mrs. Tree.

"No, but when I rested by the brook I felt sad."

"Well it appears to me," Mrs. Tree proudly proclaims, "that your anchor is hooked to
sadness. Therefore, you must go into the feeling of that sadness so that you can heal

"But I don't want to go into my sadness because it hurts me too much," I say, fighting back my tears.

"Dear child, just as there is a part of you that is sad, there is also a part of you that is happy. There are
many parts of you-and of me. I have many different limbs, branches, twigs, and leaves. Each of them is
different. Some are young and healthy and some are old and ready to fall to the ground, but I love them
all. You can learn to love all the parts of yourself. Even your sad parts!"
"I don't know how I can love a part of me that hurts," I say, almost to myself.

"Often there is a portion of me that hurts," says the friendly tree," and when this happens, I must travel
through the core of my trunk and branches to find out what is wrong. Sometimes I find that that part of
me is sick or injured and needs extra love and attention. Often that portion can be healed, but there are
times when it needs to fall from me so that it can be reabsorbed into the soil around my roots. That part
has then died, but it has contributed to the health of the entire tree by fertilizing the soil so that new
parts can grow."

"I don't know if I really understand what you are trying to tell me, so maybe I should rest here
underneath your branches and listen to your words again in my mind. Thank you for helping me."

"Certainly child. Just relax in my shade and listen to the breeze as it moves through my leaves. That will
help you feel at peace. You see, dear child, each leaf is separate from the next, yet it is connected to the
Source. Each leaf is totally an individual, but at the same time a member of a greater whole. A single leaf
would not provide much shade, but as a group they provide a beautiful, comforting shade. And, as you
can see, no separate leaf is doing anything. It is just sharing itself with the others so that their joint
contribution can be enjoyed."

I hear the tree's words with only the corners of my mind because I feel myself quickly falling asleep.
Gradually the shade becomes a warm blanket that covers and protects me. A warm breeze caresses
every leaf and me at the same time. I am starting to float into my light body, but I am not afraid this
time. I know that the body under the tree will be safe. The rays of the Sun gather around me and begin
to form into a glow. The glow becomes a luminescent figure with a vaguely human shape. I can see no
face behind the shape's golden light, but it feels like the Sparkly One. No, it feels like many Sparkly Ones.

"Welcome to the Inner Land of Blissful Joy and Radiant Splendor. We are your Guidance. Do you
remember us, dear child? We held you when you were frightened, soothed you when you were sad, and
listened to you when you were angry. We are of the One and we have loved and protected you forever
and ever.

"You have been very busy, dear member of the One. You have been very brave and have learned many
lessons. You have helped and loved and listened. Do not be concerned if you have not understood all
that you have heard. The words will rest in your heart and mind like small seeds thrown upon fertile soil.
The Truth has the tone of a pure bell and will return to your ears when you need to recall it. We are very
proud of you!"

"Remember us, Dear One.

Remember this place, and most of all,
always remember the child that you are
deep within your Self."
The child is asleep now. She sleeps safely beneath the tree somewhere between the lands of Faerie and
Spirit. But, I am awake. I am awake to the child that lives within me and to the mysteries that she has
remembered for me.

Thank you dear child. I will stay awake to the truths that you have saved for me.

But, when I do sleep, I will visit YOU.

I remember Faerie.
I remember that
the green is greener and
sparkles in the ever present daylight.

Beyond the world of time,

the sun can stay for hours or years
because time is a product of our minds.

In Faerie,
Nature is our Mother.

We protect and care for Her like

humans care for their infants.

We are proud when She gives

birth to a flower and
we mourn the bloom's
passage into seed.

Then, we alight our hearts to see

the seed take hold and again
become a flower.

Beauty is our essence

and love is impersonal.
In Faerie, we do not love
as humans do.
Humans love in a holding way.

Many of us have chosen

to love humans because they can
return love with a dedication
which we can only feel for Nature.

However, our love is as constant

as the cycles of the Moon,
humans can love dearly for a while
and then --
they don't.
In Faerie, we are one with each other
and with our Maker.

We realize that
although we may look different
we are like the fingers of a Divine Hand
which directs our every movement.

We never question this hand

nor could we imagine moving without it.

Our thoughts are colors

and our emotions are melodies.
We dance through our life
and warmly anticipate our
next step up the ladder of evolution.

The further up we move,

the more consciously
we interact with mankind.
But, they seldom know us.

In olden days,
shortly after the fall of Atlantis,
we interacted and played with humankind.

But now the veil is heavy indeed

and our lives are not interwoven.

After Atlantis there was a Borderland

where we had a strange mixture of
Faerie and Earth.

Members of our evolution

and of the human evolution
interbred and intermingled.
However, as the human kingdom
fell deeper and deeper into the physical,
our two worlds separated and
Borderland became -- no more.

Only in certain sacred areas

is there even a memory of Borderland.
In these special areas,
if one is attuned,
the ethereal memory of the Earth
can transport a willing, open mind
into an intense experience of Faerie.

Through reliving their past on Faerie,

humans can begin to release
their illusion of time.

We await you here in Faerie.

Remember us.
Remember your selves.

You were with us when

you lived in Borderland
and experienced the
oneness of our Soul.

Your wings await you.

try them on!
There is a glimmer
in the back of my mind
and the core of my heart.

This glimmer knows the secret of joy.

This secret is trying to reveal itself

and I am trying to "stop trying"
so that I can accept.

For joy can only live in peace

and peace cannot abide struggle
and when I "try"
it feels like I am struggling.

I know that if I surrender,

surrender to the knowing,
I will gain all that I seek.

But the struggle persists.

Then suddenly
it is gone.

Gone into a moment of insight

a feeling of peace,
or love,
a thought of acceptance
of myself.

I know,
not with my mind,
or even with my heart,

I know with my Soul

that for a breath of the NOW
I am united with Spirit.

And all is peace,

all is joy,
all is love,
and acceptance.
But then
I forget what I know
and how it felt to know it.

I remember that
I must do something-
or go somewhere.

I remember my worries
and I remember my fear.

That fear then blocks the glimmer

and buries the core
and I forget the love.

I forget the love that can

calm the fear
that made me forget.

I forget the love that can

help me to remember the glimmer
and allow it to grow.

and I know that day is soon,
the power of the fear
will be reduced to a shadow.

A shadow of the glimmer

that has grown into a
beacon of Light-
the light of LOVE,

A Love I have for myself!

The third door is marked: THOUGHTS

You go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
Unconscious thoughts evoke behavior based on past pain and old negative programming.
Our thoughts are out of control and without focus as negative and obsessive thinking overtakes our free
will. Out-of-control thinking reinforces our feeling of being a victim. Problem-oriented thinking creates a
downward spiral with no hope of resolution. Unbidden thoughts come into our mind, which punish us
with old core beliefs about the inadequacy of our being.

Our thoughts make us feel separate from everyone and everything and limit us from achieving our
desires. Therefore, our moral principles and codes of right and wrong are debased to a state of war with
the world around us. We give ourselves permission to do anything because we are separate from
society. However, we are all "herd animals" and soon find another "society" where using drugs and
alcohol, having "fun", and "doing whatever we want", rules. However, before we know it, our choices
turn to addictions, and we again find ourselves Out of Control.

The third chakra best exemplifies the Thoughts Door because it represents our own thoughts, that is our
conscious AND unconscious thoughts, as well as the emotionally laced thoughts of others that are
perceived by our Astral Body. Thoughts, and the words and actions that are initiated by those thoughts,
is the core of our Power, whether it be our "power over" others or our "power within" our self.

The lesson of the third chakra is: if we can gain "power over" ourselves we will feel our "power within".
Then we will not be a victim to anyone else's "power over" us, nor will we feel the need to have "power
over" another. Power then becomes something that we have, not something that we use.

LOCATION: The third chakra is located between the sternum bone and the navel.

PETALS: There are ten petals in the third chakra which, when spinning, may appear like a vortex. In
numerology, the number 10 is reduced to the number 1. Number one symbolizes the beginning, as “In
the beginning there was the word," and every word begins with a thought. Even if it is unconscious,
thought precedes communication. The third chakra also represents our communication with the fourth
dimensional astral world, which is too often unconscious.

NOTE AND MANTRA: The note for this chakra is D and the mantra is "ram" or "aum".

COLOR: The color of this chakra is yellow to gold. When seen in one's aura with astral vision, the color
yellow represents intellectual thinking. The color gold represents identification with one's Soul qualities.
A predominance of yellow in one's aura represents one's attachment to their ego's rational thought. On
the other hand, the predominance of gold in one's aura represents an ego that has surrendered its
control of the physical earth vessel to their Soul.

On a physical level, the color yellow stands for caution. Yellow is between the red of "stop" and the
green of "go." Great caution is needed to integrate our physical and astral selves. The road to spirituality
is paved with cautious patience.
RULES: The third chakra rules the MENTAL portion of our consciousness and governs thinking, both
psychic and intellectual, and the power, control and/or freedom that is gained by our minds. This chakra
is the "power chakra." It governs our sense of self, the power that that we have within and over our
destinies, the power that we have over others, and the power that others have over us.

If a person is too yin, female energy, then he or she may feel powerless. On the other hand, if a person is
too yang, male energy, then he or she may have a tendency to be aggressive or greedy. The third
chakra, which relates to the liver, gall bladder, stomach, spleen, and pancreas, regulates how centered
we feel during the day in relation to our mental facilities and our ability to be self-motivated.

The projections of our ego and our vital energies are both influenced by this chakra because it rules how
well we can maintain our sense of Self when in a power struggle with another. The battle between egos
is difficult to win if we are children and our opponent is our parent. Therefore, this chakra holds the
secrets of the many power struggles that we fought and lost with our parents, and other authority
figures, as a child.

The third chakra is known as the gateway into the Astral Plane of the fourth dimension. It therefore
rules our astral emotions. However, these emotions are very different than physical emotions that are
felt through our second chakra. Our second chakra rules emotions of a survival, instinctual type;
whereas, the emotions of the third chakra are intertwined with our thought process.

These more "cognitive emotions" are felt as reactions to others, and as reactions to our desires and
goals. It is this combination of thought and emotions that opens our gateway into the fourth dimension.
Once opened, this portal can begin to blend out third dimensional perceptions with the higher senses of
our physic, intuitive consciousness.

The integration of our physical and astral bodies can create yet another control issue for the third
chakra. Besides the control issues of different egos attempting to assert their personal power over
another, there are the internal control issues of thoughts vs. emotions, intuition vs. intellect, and yin vs.

SENSE: The third chakra rules our sense of sight. It rules the physical sight of our third dimensional
consciousness as well as the "second" sight, or astral vision, of our fourth dimensional consciousness.

ASTROLOGY SIGN: Leo is an astrological sign that is often associated with this chakra. Leo, which is
ruled by the Sun, symbolizes our warmth and strength as well as our striving for recognition, power, and
social status. Astrologically, our Sun represents the ego system that we embody within this lifetime.

The third chakra represents the struggle of that ego system, first with others and then with our Soul.
When we find our power within ourselves, we no longer need to struggle against others. Then our ego
must learn to recognize the still, small voice of our Soul and learn to surrender control of our earth
vessel to this superior Captain.

ELEMENT: Fire is the element associated with this chakra. Fire represents the electrical/neural portion
of our third dimensional physical body. Electricity is associated with our ability to consciously rule our
behavior by our thoughts because it is the electrical firing of our nervous system that allows our cortex
to choose our behavior.

When we have gained the “will power” to choose our behaviors, actions, words, and attitudes, we are
consciously in control of our life. On the other hand, if our behavior, actions, words, and attitudes are
not consciously chosen then we are reacting rather than responding. Then, do not feel like we are "in
control" of our life because we were unable to chose a response that empowers us.

The third, solar plexus chakra rules the animal kingdom of which humanity is said to be at the top of the
hierarchy. This determination is made by the size of our cortex and our supposed ability to control our
own destiny. However, that control is not based solely upon the size of our cortex. Whales and dolphins
have larger cortexes then us, and dolphins actually have more speech mechanisms than humans.
However, whales and dolphins have been at the mercy of mankind's violence for many years.

Humans have also harmed, killed, and enslaved other humans as well. The third chakra is the chakra
that deals with both inter- and intra-species' struggle for power and dominance. The ability to
communicate our thoughts and feelings through speech has always been an important factor in that

CONSCIOUSNESS: The area of the brain associated with this chakra is the neo cortex, which is the
beginning of higher mental functioning. The third chakra represents our third dimensional
consciousness, as well as how our fourth dimensional astral body influences our physical world. If we
disallow any conscious influence from our astral self, we limit our reality.

PERSONAL TIMELINE: This chakra represents ages 6 years to adolescence. This is the time frame when
the child begins school and moves away from the constant influence of the family. From the ages of 6
through 12, children are interacting with teachers, friends, and their friends' families, but their primary
influence is still their home.

Children of this age are increasingly becoming aware that they are different from their parents.
Especially as they move into early adolescence, this awareness drives them to find their own identity
within the family. From 12 through adolescence, the focus switches from the family to friends. If these
young adolescents are able to develop a sense of self while living in the family system, they will have an
easier time when they repeat that process outside of the home.

SOCIAL TIMELINE: Anthropologically, the third chakra represents the civilizations of about 5,000 years
ago when the great empires of Egypt, Syria, Greece, and Rome existed. These societies became
dominant through Power Over” their opponents. The rise and peak of these civilizations marked the
expansion of humankind's cognitive abilities. Within these civilizations, at least some members of the
society had "time" to pursue something beyond survival. Multiple Gods, and Goddesses, as well as
animals, were worshiped by most of these societies.

ENDOCRINE: The endocrine gland for the third chakra is the pancreas. The pancreas plays an important
part in the digestion of food. The pancreas secretes the hormone insulin, which regulates the level of
blood sugar in the system and metabolism needed for digesting carbohydrates. Enzymes that are
secreted by the pancreas are important for the balance of fats and proteins.

This endocrine gland is thrown off when too much sugar is taken into the system. This is often because
the person wants more sweetness in their life and does not know how to get it. Alcoholic beverages
instantly convert to sugar, and diabetes can result from alcoholism. Again, this person does not feel like
they have the power within to face life and must take a substance to comfort themselves.

NERVE PLEXUS: The solar plexus, which is located just beneath the ribcage, is the plexus associated
with this chakra. Areas of the body associated with this chakra are the lower back, abdomen, digestive
system, stomach, liver, spleen, gall bladder, and autonomic nervous system.

CLEAR: When the third chakra is clear we have a strong sense of personal power and self-motivation.
Our power struggles with others are minimal because we accept responsibility for the creation of our
own reality. Therefore, we do not feel victimized or controlled by others. If there is a problem in our life,
we realize that "if it comes to me, it is mine to deal with". We have keen decision making abilities, a
strong will power, and a good self-image.

Since we take charge of our lives, we have good health and vital energy. When we can balance yin and
yang, thoughts and emotions, intuition and intellect, will power and surrender to Soul, we can be
conscious of the many messages that come to us from the Astral Plane. We are able to shield ourselves
from the "psychic pull" of others, as we are able to discriminate our emotions from the emotions of
others. We can do this because we have listened to our own Astral World as it communicates with us
through our dreams and imagination.

UNCLEAR: When the third chakra is unclear, we feel powerless. Since we feel that we have no ability to
gather what we need when we need it, we can be reduced to greed, doubt, anger, and then, of course,
guilt. Our bodies respond to the constant tension by developing ulcers, jaundice, hepatitis, diabetes,
hypoglycemia, and gallstones. Our sense of powerlessness in the world causes excessive worrying,
hypochondriac pain, irritability, and procrastination. We are overly sensitive, cry easily, feel fatigue, and
are often anxious and/or depressed.

Our inability to integrate the inner call of our Astral life with the outer world creates an over sensitivity
to the psychic world of others. Other people's fear, which is the "loudest" emotion to be felt in our third
chakra, piggybacks onto our own fear. It then becomes increasingly difficult to be with others or in
groups. Our mind races against us with obsessive thoughts and worries. Our negative emotions then
amplify our negative thinking and keep us in a constant state of turmoil.

The power that we lost in our past must be regained so that we can live in the present. We must go back
to find the negative core beliefs that we hold against ourselves. These beliefs constantly remind us that
we are inadequate to face life's challenges, and that we do not have the personal power to be happy
and successful.
EARTH'S CHAKRA: The earth's third chakra is Mt. Kilimanjaro, Africa. Mt. Kilimanjaro is one of the
largest freestanding mountains in the world. The other largest freestanding mountain is also in Africa,
the heart of our first great civilizations. Mt. Kilimanjaro reminds us of the power that we can gain to
stand-alone by finding our "power within."

DIMENSIONS: This chakra represents our third and fourth dimensional bodies. The third chakra is the
gateway to the fourth dimension. Unfortunately, this "gateway" is often first experienced in our bodies
by uncomfortable feelings in the third chakra area of our bodies. In order to avoid being a victim to the
psychic world of others, we must gather our own fourth dimensional power. When we have come to
peace with our inner world, as well as the thoughts and feelings that originate in that world, we will find
our true power to "stand alone" in the outer world.

SUMMARY: Our third chakra deals with digestion, synthesis, distribution, and emanation of our
personal power. Our stomach, pancreas, gall bladder and liver deal with our digestion and synthesis, and
our spleen and autonomic nervous system distributes and emanates our power.

Our personal power was enhanced or limited in our childhoods. Third dimensionally, our early
environment either empowered us if our parents were kind, positive, and supportive, or gave us
opportunities to make our own decisions to experience success or failure. Our early environment took
our power away if our parents limited us with criticism, cruelty, insensitivity, and unfair punishment.

Fourth dimensionally, our power was given or stolen by the thoughts and feelings of those around us in
our early years. Even though we may have disowned our fourth dimensional powers by adulthood, it
was a normal part of our childhood. Often, as children we could see fairies, talk to our dog, and
experience our stuffed animal or doll as alive. The adults may then have said, "How cute. What a good
imagination you have." OR "Shut up, there are no fairies and dogs can only bark."

So what did we believe? What did we give power to, the "make believe" fairies, the dog that loved us, or
the parent that gave us a home and food? The rule of nature is survival. We could survive without fairies
and talking dogs, but we could not survive without a home and food. Therefore, we listened to "them,"
the ones who raised us. Their reality became our reality.

If we were fortunate enough to have parents who felt powerful and gave us love, protection, and
encouragement, we had a happy safe reality in which we could blossom into our fullest potential. On the
other hand, if our parents were afraid, angry, powerless victims to others or to the "system," then we
are in danger of recreating that world, as it was our only model. We also created that reality because the
gateway to our Soul, our fourth dimensional astral world, had been dampened and discarded as "just
our imagination."

As children, the fourth dimensional psychic "gateway" was still open, and we could clearly receive ALL
the pain, fear, anger, and sorrow of our family and others with whom we were intimate. The main
problem was that when we "psychically" picked up the astral environment around us, which was the
thoughts and feelings of others', we did not perceive it as the thoughts and feeling of others. We
perceived it as our own. WE felt like the victim, WE were sad, angry, or afraid, and WE believed that we
could not create a better life.

Therefore, we created core beliefs about ourselves that protected us from our uncomfortable emotional
world. These core beliefs were usually about our own limitations, such as: "I am not good enough"; "I
don't deserve"; or "I am not worthy". Then we could keep the necessary belief that it was our
inadequacy and not our parents' inadequacy that was the source of our problems. The reality is, the
core beliefs that we created were probably the very same core beliefs that our parents created and
psychically passed on to us.

Nevertheless, these core beliefs did create an illusion of protection from a harsh and foreign world. Yes,
to our inner self who remembered that we are Golden Lightbeings, the third dimension felt very harsh
and restrictive. Therefore, most of us forgot about our Lightbody because we could not return to that
body, and it only caused us pain to remember it.

In the above scenario, the child learned that power equals "Power Over" another. If their own parents
were victims, then so must they be. Also, because the child still had the "second sight" of the Astral Plan,
they could see and feel the fear and victimization that was the foundation of their parents' rage and

How can a child learn about "power within??” How can a child learn positive core beliefs like: "I am
powerful, I am smart and I am lovable"? The parent can "act like" they are loving, "act like" they are not
afraid, and "act like" they are happy. However, the child still "feels" the truth because he or she is still
awake to his or her Astral Self. Unfortunately, by the time the child has learned to close that gateway,
the damage is done.

What can a parent do?

A parent can go back into his or her own childhood, find the cause of their own negative core beliefs and
heal them. Then the parent does not have to "act" happy and loving. Then, the parent can "be" happy
and loving. We cannot give what we do not have. If we do not have money for our self, then how can we
give it away? If we do not have love for our self, then how can we give it away? Our society has seen the
power in money and will do anything to get it. But how many of us have truly experienced the power of
love, love from our SELF to our self.

"You are not alone,"

a small voice reminds my heart.
My mind questions these words
and reminds me that I am NOT special.
"Everyone is special," argues the voice.
"All you have to do is to remember that."

I hear these words and my mind rejects them,

But my heart imagines that they are true.

"The words are true," whispers the voice.

"You have all been taught that humility is low self-esteem.
That is NOT true.
Humility is the ability to know that YOU are special
and so is EVERYONE else."

No, not everyone, I think,

what about the abuser, the murderer, the terrorist?
They cannot be special.

"Oh, but they are special,"

retorts the quiet voice
"They just do not know it yet."


This is the story of a group of children who each live inside their adults. These children have a great deal
of power because most of the adults that they live in don't know that they are there. And, worst of all,
they don't realize that the children are the ones who have programmed their minds. The adults think
that they did it.

These children have tried to tell their adults that they are in them, but the adults refuse to listen. They
are too "busy." Well, the children are busy too. They have to make sure that the program they wrote in
order to survive a situation in which they had NO power keeps functioning exactly as it has for decade,
after decade, after decade.

Now, these children are very smart. They looked around at the world that they lived in, figured out the
family rules, even the unspoken ones, and made a program to protect themselves from getting in
trouble. Generally, these programs worked pretty well, but sometimes the parents kept changing the
rules. Then, the kids still got in trouble.
That is why some kids are "bad." Their parents were just too unpredictable and their environment too
changing. But even if they couldn't stay out of trouble, this was often because it was a family rule for
them to be "bad," they could usually come up with a program to protect themselves.

These programs worked so well that they became core beliefs. So what is a core belief? A core belief is a
program that a child created that served to protect them in the situation in which they lived. It is too
bad that the children who created these core beliefs don't know that the situation has changed now. I
wonder why their adults haven't told them.

The answer is simple. The adults don't know that the children even live in them. Unfortunately, even if
the adult does know about his or her child, the adult tends to treat the inner child exactly the way their
parents treated them as children. So, even though the adult that the child lives in has changed his or her
life, the child's environment is the same. Will these children ever get what they need?



Sam was adopted because his parents could not have children. However, shortly after they adopted
him, his mother became pregnant. Then Sam had a sister. Whether, his mother actually favored his
sister, or if Sam just believed it, made no difference to him. Sam felt like he could not get his mother's
love and he settled for getting her attention. He "tried" to be good, but to him it appeared that he only
got her attention when he was "bad". Therefore, Sam decided to be bad!

Also, Sam's mother was a very nervous woman who showed no emotions and did not nurture Sam. Sam
wanted to save his mother from her difficult life, but he could not even save himself because he had
decided to be bad in order to get her attention.

Sam speaks:
"I feel that my life is a struggle because I am alone and nobody cares about me. I feel hopeless. I am on
parole, I am a drug addict, and I don't have anything to look forward to. I live in a "sober living house"
and have little freedom. I feel like I am going backwards."

Sam's Core Belief is:

"Life is a struggle."

Sam saw that his mother's life was a struggle and he couldn't help her or even make her happy. The only
time that she even seemed to care about him was when he was in trouble. Sam wanted his mother's
love more than positive reinforcement from others. Therefore, he was ALWAYS in trouble.

Sam's father also gave him attention for being in trouble by constantly bailing him out. The reality is that
Sam's life was easy. He did not have to have a job, pay his rent, or get along with his boss. Sam's entire
"struggle" was with trying NOT to be bad. At the same time, he feared that he was on his own and that
no one would care for him. He reinforced that belief by picking fights with everyone who tried to help

Sam was unable to release his core belief. His addiction to cocaine robbed him of ALL his personal
power. Whenever he started to experience success, he sabotaged himself. He even rode his bike in front
of a car (an accident). Then he was in trouble again and had to be taken care of by others.

Sam created a core belief of "life is a struggle" so that he could get attention and love, but the negative
core belief that got him attention as a child robbed him of any happiness in his adult life.


Sandy is the older of two daughters. Her father traveled all week long and Sandy was alone with her
mother and younger sister. Sandy's mother became very ill and actually died while Sandy was "taking
care of her". Sandy's father continued to work out of town, even after her mother died, and left 11-year-
old Sandy home alone to take care of her younger sister. Sandy lived in constant fear that the authorities
would find out and put her and her sister in an orphanage.

Sandy speaks:
"If something wrong happens, it is my fault. As a child I felt that that everything was my fault and my
father always reminded me that that was true. Therefore, I tried to do everything perfect. I kept the
house perfect, got perfect grades, and was a perfect leader at school. But, no matter what, my father
always found something wrong with what I did."

Sandy's Core Belief is:

"It is all my fault."

Sandy's core belief kept her constantly vigilant so that she would not have to leave her home. Today, her
father would be put in jail for abandonment, but it was several decades ago and in another country.
Sandy's core belief also kept her very busy working, which protected her from the secret fear that it was
"her fault" that her mother died.

Sandy learned responsibility at a very young age and was able to have a successful life, but she was very
controlling because she had to make sure that EVERYHING was perfect. However, when her adult was
able to console her 11 year old self and tell her that it was NOT her fault that Mom died, she was able to
release her old core belief. Now Sandy has learned to relax and have a happier life.


Don't the adults see that the same life issues seem to re-appear over and over again? Well, of course,
they do. But it's not their fault. They are "trying" as hard as they can! If only they could speak to their
child. Perhaps then they could learn about the first time that this problem arose and about the mental
program that the child created to protect them from it. Then the adults would no longer be victims to
their lives. If the adults spoke to their child, they could remember how it all began. Then they could see
how they create the very life issues that they busily try to avoid.

Now, why would one want to create a problem for themselves? The answer is--because it isn't really a
problem. Actually, what is happening is that a life lesson is being played over and over until it is solved.
However, the adults are unaware of what the original lesson was and it has become more difficult to
discern the lesson after it has been repeated so many times. Like a Xeroxed copy that has been
duplicated too many times, the original message becomes more and more difficult to understand each
time it is played out.

Along with this group of children is a very brave group of adults who are willing to listen to the child
inside of them. Perhaps, they can find out how and why they created these core beliefs. These beliefs
have been the template for the "problems" that they have repeated more times than they would wish
to count. They are now willing to acknowledge how smart their child was and to thank them for creating
a program which served as protection.

These courageous adults are now willing to take responsibility for creating the life which they live. They
are ready to communicate with their inner child to discover how these old core beliefs were created and
how they have served as a foundation for the creation of their life issues that have returned-again and
again and again…

Once we have decided to communicate with our child, we must be patient. Old core beliefs have served
as "survival mechanisms," and they are not easily released.

EXAMPLES: (Different names were given to protect the individuals' privacy.)


Matt has a genetic degenerative disease. His older brothers both had this same disease, and when Matt
was about seven years old he started to have symptoms himself. However, everyone in his large family
hoped that if they ignored the fact that Matt was having these symptoms, maybe the symptoms would
go away. Matt felt like they wanted him to "go away". He was afraid that he had disappointed his family
by getting the disease so he denied the symptoms as well.

Everyone's denial did not work. The symptoms continued into Matt's adolescence. When Matt began to
fall down on a regular basis, Matt's mother didn't want him to get hurt or be embarrassed at school.
Therefore, since she did not feel there were other options, she kept Matt home from school from the
time he was 11 until he was about 14. The family then moved to Los Angeles where greater education
and services were available and Matt began to get some help. However, the child inside of him had
already learned to be invisible.
Matt's Core Belief:
"I am unworthy."

Matt speaks:
"I am invisible and I don't matter. I'm having a hard time talking about why I believe that I am unworthy.
I feel like I am invisible because no one wanted to see that my soul was screaming, 'I'm lonely. I need
you. What is happening to me? What did I do so wrong to deserve what is happening to me? I'LL BE

The Child speaks:

"I feel like I don't fit in. It is hard for me to believe that I deserve anything or that I have any worth. I
don't believe that I'm smart enough or that I deserve good things. I guess I never expect anything and I
know that nothing is expected of me."

Matt's Life Issue:

"I don't fit in."

The adult Matt takes responsibility:

These adults are willing to see how they have created, precipitated, perpetuated, and allowed these life
issues in their realities in order to survive their environment and to protect their inner child.

· Most life issues were actually created in childhood and then they are continued until the negative core
belief is replaced with a positive core belief.

· Keeping the underlying core belief unconscious where it can covertly influence our behavior
precipitates life issues.

· We perpetuate that life issue by behaving the same way over and over again.

· We allow the behavior and life issue to continue because it feels normal.)

Matt, how have you created your life issue?

The genetic disease created the problem. I felt like I didn't fit in because my disease made me different.
And, because of my disease, I felt unworthy. If the disease were not there, I still might have felt I didn't
fit in, but there is no way to test that theory.

How have you precipitated your life issue?

Because I felt unworthy, I withdrew from others. The more I withdrew, the more insecure and fearful I
felt. Then I pushed people away from me, which made me feel lonely. Then, because I was so lonely, I
felt like I didn't "fit in".

How have you perpetuated your life issue?

I felt like something was wrong with me, I felt uncomfortable with my physical condition. This made
other people feel uncomfortable. When I make others feel uncomfortable, I felt like I didn't fit in

How have you allowed your life issue?

I ignored the Soul inside of me. Therefore, others ignored it as well. Then I felt like no one knew or
understood me, and not fitting in became normal.

How did your core belief of being unworthy protect you when you were a child and as an adult?

I did not feel worthy enough to go out into the world because I knew that I was different and would not
fit in. Therefore, it protected me from the hardships of life. Because my family denied that there was a
problem, so did I. However, as I had more and more symptoms, I felt like "defective merchandise". I
could not control what was happening to my body so how could I have control of my life? As long as I
believed that I was unworthy and I could not fit in, I did not have to try to take control of my life and
face possible failure.

Matt, your child has had no one to talk to. Would you like to talk to him now?

"Yes I would. I see the child in front of me. He is about seven or eight years old. He is sitting in a chair in
front of me and is wearing a blue shirt. 'I am you, all grown up,' I say to him as I look deeply into his
eyes. From my wheelchair we are at the same level. "I have come inside myself today to find you and tell
you what a good job you have been doing taking care of me.

"My child is quiet for a very long time. I wait patiently."

The Child Responds:

"I don't know if I can believe this man. He scares me because he has a wheelchair like my big brothers. I
guess it must be true that I have to have one too when I grow up. I don't ever want to grow up! I will
stay a child forever and ever."

"You can stay a child forever. I will be the one in the wheelchair and you can stay a child. You can still
walk and run. I can help you to be a child by making sure that you have childhood experiences like
playing outside with your friends. I could never do that and I always felt lonely. I don't want you to feel

The Child Responds:

"But what if I fall?"

"Children fall all the time. It is all right. You go play now and I will sit over here and watch you play with
your friends. If you get scared, just come to me and I will give you a big hug. You are special and you will
grow up to be a strong young man. You can do anything that you want. Don't forget that. I will help

Matt watches his child playing until it is time to exchange core beliefs. Then Matt calls the child over to
him and gives him a hug.

"I will be taking care of you and you don't need to believe that you are unworthy anymore. I hear your
calls and I want to support you.

"The child pulls away from me. I can tell that he is afraid to trust me enough to give up a belief that has
served him so well. He is afraid that if he doesn't feel like he is unworthy, he will try many new things
and get hurt.

"Matthew," I say as I pull him close to me again and give him a warm hug, "Let us have a trial period.
You trust me for just a little while and I will check up on you all the time to see if you are O.K. Is that fine
with you?"

The Child Responds:

"But I am afraid of change. If I change I won't know what will happen. I don't know any other way of

"Try it for just one month - thirty days. I will check up on you every day and tell you that I love you and
that you are important in my life. I promise.

"The child gives me a hug and runs away to his friends. He has decided to trust me. But now I am afraid.
I am afraid that I will disappoint him. I remember now how I used to insult him so often in my mind. I
hated him because I hated my life at that time. No wonder it was so difficult for him to trust me.

"Can I keep my word? Can I forgive myself for how I have treated him? I remember now when I was an
adolescent and was beginning to become an adult. I hated my developing body. If I became an adult, my
disease would get worse. I was right. But it wasn't the child's fault, or the teenager's fault, or my fault.
"I will now forgive myself for growing up, my child for staying young, and my teenager for being in the
middle. We are, after all, one person. I now take my new protection. This protection comes to me by
listening to my Soul. My new protection is SPIRITUAL. With my spiritual protection I can listen to my
Soul. There is nothing wrong with my Soul. My Soul will continue to give me the courage to feel
comfortable with myself. Then others will feel comfortable with me as well. Then I WILL "fit in".

(Matt is wheelchair bound and cannot even "transfer" with assistance. However, he lives alone in a
home, which he owns, and works full time. He pays an assistant to assist him before work and bed.
Other than that, he lives an independent and successful life.)


(Annie has very different reasons for having the same core belief.)

Annie is a middle child. Her older sister was a "star" and her younger brother was charismatic, at least as
a child. Her home life and childhood were happy for her. She had no apparent reason to feel that she
was unworthy which only increased her guilt.

Annie went to college to enter the profession of her parents. She then married her high school boyfriend
and had two children. It was not until her divorce that she began to deal with the fact that she believed
that she was "not worthy".

Annie Speaks:
"I'm not a special person. I'm not bad, but there's truly nothing special, unique or attractive about me. I
don't draw people to me and when I am in a large group at a party or social event, I'm uncomfortable. I
am horribly embarrassed to be alone, but I fear going up and meeting anyone.

"Unless I have a context: I'm someone's sister, I'm a professional educator, or I'm a mother, I don't feel
comfortable. My weight is a big issue for me. I feel I am not physically attractive and I can't imagine
another person wanting to spend time with me. My experience has always been that my most positive
relationships have been based on my meeting other's needs. I don't always know how to meet my own
needs and when I do, or when I ask others to, I feel tremendous guilt. I am certain that I don't deserve to
ask for what I want or to even get it for myself.

"I can't have a positive relationship with myself or with others in my personal life. However, I have a
good relationship with those that I work with, my children, and my sister. But then I have a context. I
don't have to be me. I can be the person that I am to them. Who is the person that I am to myself? I fear
that I abandoned myself in order to make others love me!"

Annie's Core Belief:

"I am not worthy."
The Child Speaks:
The child does not want to talk.

The Adult Annie takes responsibility:

Annie's Life Issue:

"I can't have a happy relationship."

Q) Do you know how you created your life issue?

"I have such negative self-talk that I can't have a relationship with myself. I don't trust and respect my
feelings enough to believe that my thoughts are as worthy as others. I also have negative thoughts
about others as well.

"Because of my negativity, I never choose to have a relationship but feel like I must wait for someone to
choose me. I therefore give away my control of who I am with. If I can't even choose who the
relationship is with, how could I ever get my needs met and actually be happy?"

Q) How do you precipitate your life issue?

"I am the passive one in the initiation of a relationship. I indulge in too many passive activities such as TV
watching, or reading and I don't pursue a relationship with myself. Therefore, I live vicariously through
books, movies, my kids, or my sister."

Q)How do you perpetuate your life issue?

"I am afraid of rejection so I stay away from people. Then I am always alone. When I am always alone, I
feel like it is because I can't have a happy relationship."

Q)How do you allow your life issues?

"I don't engage my warrior to battle my fears and to stand up for myself. Since I don't fight for myself,
no one knows who I am or what I need. Therefore, no one can make me feel like I am in a happy

Q)How did your core beliefs protect you as a child?

"I was wedged between Wonder Girl and Super Son. If I did not feel worthy than I did not have to enter
into competition with them. Therefore, I could not lose. If you don't play the game, then you don't lose.
My experience was that when my true self came out, and I opened up too much and become too active,
or assertive, then people didn't like me.
"Therefore, I believed no one should see all of me. I had to control part of me because if I were free,
loose, and open people wouldn't like me. Deep down, I believed that I was worthless and I feared letting
others know. So, I withheld myself and become passive until people in my life told me what THEY
wanted. Then I wouldn't feel unworthy."

Q)What is another way in which you can protect yourself?

"I can let my child have her true emotions with a person who is loving and safe, such as myself. I can
allow the child to have her dreams and desires and I can keep a sacred trust with her. I will not divulge
her secrets to anyone until I know that they will be supportive. "

Q)Annie, would you like to talk to your child?

"Yes, but I know that will have to assertively pursue my child. Actually, when I first go inside myself, I see
two children. One is about three years old. She seems happy and open. The other child is older, maybe 6
years old, and is in a soft flowing dress. She has a softer appearance and is often hiding her face in the
shadows or in the lines of her hair as it falls across her face when she looks down. They both stare
straight ahead, watching me from the corner of their eyes, but the younger one occasionally meets my
gaze directly. The older one shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot. Neither one of them trusts me. But,
they don't want me to leave either.

"The 3 year old seems to represent the few times that I have been spontaneous and open. She seems to
come out when I am angry or slightly drunk. Most of the time, however, I am more like the older child,
timid and vulnerable. I show to the world and, usually choose to be, the older child because it is safer.
The younger child comes out like bursts of fire. But when the smoke clears, I am usually more
comfortable with the older child's approach.

"I will talk to the 6 year old, as she is the one who needs me most. 'Hi. I am you all grown up.'"

The Child does not respond.

"I know you are scared of me and I can tell that you wish that I would go away, but I want to be with
you. Can I stay and talk to you?"

The Child does not respond.

"Well, it's a good sign that you didn't move away. I want to get to know you better. I want to talk to you
about your fears. I want to touch you and protect you. Can I stay with you?"

The Child does not respond.

"It is okay if you don't want to talk. I'll talk if you like. But, I want you to know how special you are to me.
I know that you're afraid to talk to me, but I hope that you will trust me soon. Nothing you say to me will
be bad. My joy is in knowing everything about you, even the things that make you scared or angry or
feel pain. Because I can feel that you have so much to say -- so much to give -- I will wait until you are

The Child does not respond.

"I won't go away. I won't leave you. I won't become silent or make you feel bad because of what you say
or do. The more you give to me, the more I will love you. My love will grow with the weight of your gifts
to me. All your ideas, thoughts, feelings, and actions are like breaths of clean air. I will breathe them in
and fill myself with the love you give me. Everything you give me is love. Can you do that? It doesn't
have to be all at once. It can come slowly or quickly. Give what you can, because I will always be here
and I will always receive everything you have to give with love, appreciation and gratitude. I love you."

The Child Responds:

"I want to do what you say. I want to trust you. But, I don't know if I can. You say that you will love me,
but I can feel when you don't. You might not say anything bad, but I'll feel it. I'll see it written on your
face. You'll hate me or become bored or disappointed. I don't ever want to see you hate me."

"I understand. You are what you have experienced and you have experienced the disappointment of
hate from others. I know that you have a right to be distrustful of me, but I am not like the others. I am
not carrying what they are carrying. I am you! I am what you can be when you are free to open yourself
up to your own truth. You see you have only realized such a small part of yourself.

"I can see so much more of your light. But, it's hidden and you have had to protect it from the world.
That is why I'm here. I want to be here for you. I want to see all of your light (the black and the white
light) and embrace it for the goodness that it is. Because it is you, it is valuable. I can help you by being
your partner. Please share yourself with me.

"In exchange for the protection that you get for believing that you are 'unworthy', I can offer my
friendship so that you and I can have a relationship. Would you be willing to make that exchange?"

The Child Responds:

"I don't know. How can I trust you? Why should I trust you? How can I go against all of my training, all of
my beliefs?"

"What do you need from me so that you can trust me?"

The Child Responds:

"I need time and proof. I need a change of experience and I need your patience. If I give you a little, I
need to wait and see what happens. Then maybe, I'll give a little more. I don't know. I don't just want to
close my eyes and fall backwards without a net. Maybe you won't catch me. So, it is going to have to be

"I will give you all that you ask for.

"As I say this sentence, I see images of her testing me. She falls backwards and looks to see if I am there.
She keeps falling or jumping off of a cliff to see if I will catch her. I keep catching her and she keeps
jumping. She is not convinced.

"Dear child inside of me, I want you to know that I acknowledge how brave you are to take such risks
and how careful you are in making a commitment. I will use those portions of yourself in my adult life."

The child responds with a shy look, but holds back.

"It is a good first step. The child is glad I'm here and that we are sharing what she has gone through-
what I have gone through as well. She feels better now that I have acknowledged her strength and
ability to take risks. I wonder if she wants more from me."

The Child Responds:

"Yes. I want what you promised. I want attention, acceptance, support, and unconditional love. I want
you to acknowledge that I am valuable to you. I want ALL of that."

"Yes, you shall have it all. And best of all, you shall have a new core belief. That belief is-NO MATTER

(Annie is now happily married. She and her husband have an intimate, communicative relationship.
Between them they have five children.)


(When we believe that we must ignore the part of us that we like the best, we will NOT feel "good

Lilly grew up in a small farm town. She was an "accident" and her mother went away to "have her" and
put her up for adoption. When Lilly was born, her mother returned home and left Lilly in an orphanage.
No one adopted her. Then her grandmother brought her home. Lilly's mother married a man (not the
father) so that he could take care of her and her baby. Unfortunately, Lilly had already spent her first
few vital months alone and unloved.
Lilly's mother was not happy and broke many small town rules of behavior. The town watched Lilly VERY
carefully to see if she would turn out like her mother. Lilly was the oldest of many siblings. Her father
was loving, and kind to all of them, but was not able to provide much money for the large family. Lilly
took on much of the responsibility of her younger siblings while she determined to prove to the town
that she was "good enough".

Lilly's Core Belief:

"I am not good enough."

Lilly Speaks:
"I must sacrifice myself so that others can get what they need. I used to believe that I was unworthy, but
now I believe that I am worthy, but I am just not good enough to get what I need. I grew up in a large
Southern Baptist family in 'Podunck', Farmland USA. It was a 'sin' there for me to believe that I had

"When I was a child, I had many experiences of a great white light that came to me. When I described
these experiences to other people, they ridiculed me. Gradually, I became afraid when the white light
came thundering to me because it made me feel too different. Therefore, when the white light came, I
began to hold my ears and close my eyes so that I couldn't hear the loud noise or see the bright light.

"I thought that if the noise stopped and I couldn't see the white light anymore I would be accepted by
everyone. But another side of me was angry for stopping the white light, and I lashed out at others and
at myself. The conflict between these two parts of myself (the part that stopped the light and the part
that was angry because I stopped the light) gave birth to a third me: the 'I'm not good enough me'. Then
the angry me got really angry and said, 'I don't want to be not good enough.'

"The first me just wanted everyone inside my head to calm down and deal with it!! 'You can't have
everything,' the voice said. 'If you invite the white light into your life you will be different and no one will
want you.'

"However, when I kept the white light out, then I became VERY angry and no one wanted me that way
either. Therefore, I had to keep the white light out and not even allow myself to feel how angry that
made me. I learned that if I pleased myself, I displeased others. Then, of course, I believed that if I were
'good enough' I wouldn't have that conflict in the first place."

Lilly's Life Issue:

" I can't get what I want."

Lilly so wanted acceptance and love from the people in her life that she was willing to sacrifice the most
important part of herself to get it. However, once she had sacrificed the most important part of herself,
she did not have enough power to get what she wanted.

Lilly Speaks to her child:

"How do you feel about the white light? Not how others feel-how you feel?"

The Child Responds:

"The white light takes me traveling. There are beings of love and beauty aboard and I am comfortable
and accepted there. I feel intelligent and creative in the white light. I feel strong, beautiful, and
powerful, too. In the white light I feel like I have a purpose for existence. My purpose is joy and
fellowship with all of life. It is such a feeling of freedom and security."

"Did you surrender your life purpose when you closed off to the light?"

The Child Responds:

"Slowly, but yes. When I got older, I would lie between the rows of corn planted on our farm and gaze
up at the clouds. Then I could have the same feeling as in the white light. The birds and other creatures
of nature also gave me joy. But, I stopped spending as much time with nature after I became an adult. I
got married and felt that I had to sacrifice myself to make my husband happy."

"Dear child, are you aware of the fact that the white light chooses very special people who carry great
love in their heart? These people are good people who are prone to living a balanced life. Don't you
think, then, that being chosen by the white light is not only an honor but also a sign of utmost respect?"

The Child Does Not Respond:

"I know you gave up the white light because you thought you had to do so in order to be 'good enough'
for the others who would judge you. You thought that you were protecting yourself from more
abandonment and criticism. But maybe it was the white light that comforted you when you were all
alone in the orphanage. Maybe you remembered the white light longer than the others around you did,
because it was your only comfort when you were an infant.

The Child Does Not Respond:

She looks at the floor and plays with her dress.

Lilly pulls the child close to her and gently directs her face so that she may look into the eyes of her
"Honey, does the white light think that you are good enough?"

The Child Responds:

"In the white light, I don't care what others think."

The Adult Takes Responsibility:

The Adult Speaks:
"I CREATED my life issue of not getting what I wanted, because I did not believe that I was good enough
to get what I wanted and make others happy, as well. I learned that from my mother. She had to
sacrifice what she wanted to make my grandmother and me happy. Also, because of my early
abandonment, I was afraid to have what I wanted for fear that I might lose it. I would get involved with a
man and then I hold myself back because I believed that I was not 'good enough'. I believed that I had to
sacrifice myself so that others could get what "they" needed.

"I PRECIPITATED my life issue because I wanted a man to take care of me financially. I think I wanted
that so much because my father did not take care of my mother financially. But then I would feel guilty
about wanting that because I loved my father so much. Therefore, I could have a man I loved - OR - I
could have a man who provided money. Again, I would have to sacrifice something to get what I wanted.
I didn't deserve to get both because I wasn't good enough."

"I PERPETUATED the problem by repeatedly picking a man who would make me feel bad about myself.
Then I would hold myself back in my career to 'make him happy'. Therefore, I could not have enough
success or money in my career because I was holding back. Then I would become disillusioned with my
life. Since I sacrificed my white light so that "they" would not judge me, I felt like a failure. Then I would
pick a man who agreed with my opinion of myself."

"I ALLOWED this process to continue because I had lost my power when I gave up the white light. Then I
was powerless to change my situation, so I just allowed it."

The Child Responds:

"Are you saying that I am good enough to I have love, and a career, and still have a spiritual creative life
for myself?"

The Adult Speaks:

"Yes. You can enjoy a mature relationship, but you will have to love who you are and what you do as
well. Pull in the protection of the white light. Then you will not need the protection of believing that you
are 'not good enough'. That belief never protected you any way. The white light will help you to
remember your power. Then you can have love, money, a career, and a spiritual life. In fact, it is your
spiritual life that will change your core belief. Would you like to choose another core belief?"

The Child Responds:


Lilly is now in love with someone from the hometown that she ran away from. In loving him, she is
learning to love the part of herself that she believed was "not good enough."
Once upon a time in a far away land, Mother Earth and Father Sky lived happily with all the inhabitants
of their kingdom. Their joy could only be improved by the birth of their wonderful daughter, Beauty. At
her naming celebration the Fairy Godmothers Wisdom, Power, and Love, came to bless the babe. Each
Godmother gave the infant a special gift.

Fairy Godmother Wisdom gave Beauty the gift of a mind that is free of limitation and self-doubt. Fairy
Godmother Power gave Beauty the gift of the ability to know and trust her instincts.

However, just before Fairy Godmother Love was to bestow her gift, a dark cloud crossed over the sun
and the glorious banquet room became filled with darkness. From the very core of this gloom
materialized the forgotten Fairy Godmother, Fear.

It was, of course, easy to forget Fear because no one enjoyed her company. "Good Day," crackled the
harsh voice of Fear. "I see that my invitation did not arrive at my abode. I, however, have eyes and ears
throughout your kingdom and have thus learned of this grand celebration. Knowing that you would not
purposely exclude me, I have come to give MY gift to the Princess Beauty."

Everyone in the palace was silenced by terror. The Queen rushed to the infant's crib, but found that she
could not come closer than a few feet from the sleeping child. Fear laughed her wicked laugh. "Does my
presence hinder your ability to protect your child?"

The Queen found that she was mute. Everyone, even the three other Fairy Godmothers, was frozen in
position. It was as if time had stopped. Only Fairy Godmother Fear could move, and she was quickly
advancing on the infant's crib. The mute Queen gasped in terror. "Do not worry, Dear Queen, I shall not
harm your daughter, YET. I only wish to give her my gift."

"My dear Beauty," cooed the wicked Godmother, "enjoy your youth, for on your sixteenth birthday, you
shall prick your finger on a spinning wheel DIE!"

Fear cackled her evil laugh, spun herself into a vortex of darkness, and disappeared from the great hall.
As light came back into the room, everyone awoke from their stupor of terror. The Queen rushed to the
now crying infant and held her close to her bosom. "No," sobbed the Queen. "How can my Beauty die?"

"Wait," spoke the Fairy Godmother Love. "I have not given my gift to the Princess. Perhaps I can ease
Fear's terrible curse." The grateful Queen placed the infant back in her crib to receive Love's blessing. As
Godmother Love approached the crib, the infant instantly ceased her crying and starred into the light of
Love's eyes.

"My dear one," spoke Love. "I cannot change the entire curse of Fear, but I can lessen its severity. When
you prick your finger, you shall not die. Instead, Beauty, you will fall into a deep sleep to be awakened
only by the kiss of Truth. I command that somehow, dear Beauty, Truth shall find you and bestow upon
you Unconditional Love."

Of course, every spinning wheel in the land was burned to prevent Fear's evil prediction. However, on
the exact day of her sixteenth birthday, Beauty followed her "instincts" up a long narrow stairway
without a single "doubt" in her mind and pricked her finger on the awaiting needle. Beauty's last
thought as she fell off into a deep sleep was of how much she had loved her life and how much she
would miss it. Sorrow that Fear's prediction came true was more than the kingdom could bear and the
three Fairy Godmothers mercifully put the entire kingdom into a deep sleep until Truth's arrival.

The story of Mother Earth, Father Sky, and their daughter Beauty quickly spread to the surrounding
lands. Following the tale was Fear. The story had, of course, been amplified in the telling. Beauty, along
with her entire kingdom, was now believed to be dead. Fear had made sure that this alteration in the
tale had taken place.

All who heard this tale ran into their homes and barred their doors against the evil darkness of Fear. All,
that is, except one. He was a prince from a distant land and his name was Truth. "I do not believe that
Beauty is dead," he said. "I believe that Beauty is just asleep, and I shall be the one to awaken her!"

Prince Truth had no idea how he could even find the princess, much less awaken her. However, he knew
that he was Powerful and had the inherent Wisdom to seize whatever opportunity came his way.
Therefore, he decided that he would make the journey to that distant land of Mother Earth and Father
Sky. Along the way, he told everyone how he would rescue Beauty. Gradually, the Prince's great
confidence began to ease the hearts of the many that were afraid. These people chose to follow Truth
to assist him in his rescue of Beauty.

However, even though many followed Truth to the Castle, few could enter the fearful brambles that
now engulfed the entire Castle. In fact, for the final few feet through the brambles, Prince Truth was
alone. Worse yet, as Prince Truth cleared the bramble bushes, Fairy Godmother Fear awaited him to fill
his mind with images of all he had ever feared. For a moment Truth faltered in the face of his own fear.
But then he remembered that Beauty needed him to rescue her, and he fought courageously.

Finally, Truth was victorious over Fear and the Prince banished her from the land forever—he hoped.
Now nothing lay between Truth and Beauty. The Prince rushed to her bedside, pulled her into his arms,
and gave Beauty a deep, loving kiss.

I would like to say that Beauty instantly responded to Truth's love and rode off with him on his valiant
steed. However, this was not the case. The Princess, as well as her entire kingdom, had been asleep for a
very long time. When Beauty first awoke, she did not think of Truth's kiss. Her first thought upon
awakening was of how she had followed her "instincts" into the tower without a shred of "doubt" and
touched the very needle that she had been warned against her entire life.

Beauty's instincts told her that Truth loved her, but she had learned to doubt herself. If she could not
trust herself, how could she trust the Prince? After all, she had forced the entire kingdom to suffer a
long sleep. How could SHE deserve the love of Truth?

"He must want something from me," she mused out loud.

"I want nothing, dear Beauty. My love for you is unconditional," the Prince proclaimed.
"Then," she queried, "will you love me if I don't go with you? Will you love me when I am old and not so
beautiful? And will you love me even if I love another?"

Now these questions were very difficult for Prince Truth and he found that he could not find an instant

"You see," continued Beauty, "This sleep and the brambles that you say you have parted for me, have
offered me protection for many years. Why should I release this protection just because you-a total
stranger to me-have asked me to? I cannot trust my instincts for they have led me astray before."

"Dear Beauty, I understand what you say. But I have traveled far to offer you my Love."

"How can I accept your Love when everyone around me sleeps? How can I abandon all that I have
known just because you say there is something better?"

The Prince now understood Beauty's plight.

"Come dear Beauty," spoke Truth, "You and I shall awaken your entire kingdom together. Let us begin
with the King and Queen."

"Hmm," thought Beauty, "Perhaps Truth's love is Unconditional."

However, before she could be sure, the Princess would need to heal her own self-doubt, so that she
could again trust her instincts. After all, everyone had seemed to love her for her entire life, but no one
was able to protect her from the curse of Fear.

Truth and Beauty then went throughout the castle awaking everyone from the slumber that had
protected them from the pain of Fear's curse. Many awoke with the same misgivings as the Princess
had, and it was many years before the entire kingdom was free from Fear's curse.

By then Truth and Beauty had learned to trust and love each other—UNCONDITIONALLY. Beauty had to
learn through experience that Truth's love was Unconditional and Truth had to learn that Beauty was
not someone to seek and rescue, but someone to listen to and protect.

You see, Beauty could not find her own Wisdom, Power, and Love until she had personally confronted
her OWN fears. Truth could awaken her, but she could only accept his love when she could love herself.

The moral is, the sleeping child within you may not want to be rescued, at least not at first. Until you are
willing to enter the kingdom of your child and awaken each subject from its long, fearful sleep, your
child may not accept your "Unconditional Love."

In other words, if you want your inner child to trust you—you must earn it.
These children come from Heaven.
Their wings are newly clipped.
Their memories are awake still.
Their halos have not slipped.

How long can they remember

the places they came from?
How long can Soul live in their hearts
and warm them like the sun?

Can others that come near them

know they will lead the way
then guide them to remain them SELF
so innocence can stay?

The glory of a newborn

matures into a child,
but as the child becomes adult,
that innocence turns wild.

If we help them to remember

the purpose of their birth,
they'll know the meaning of their life
and acknowledge their self-worth.

The leaders of our future

have bodies very small,
but if we listen with our hearts,
then they can guide us all.

Love them with a love that's true

and see their inner glory,
then they'll know that they are safe
to share their lives-long story.

For fresh in their remembrance

is the truth we seek to find,
but pain has made us deaf
and fear has made us blind.

We'll protect them from the fate

that we ourselves have suffered,
then know that from the harm of life
our love has kept them buffered.

We welcome all our children

for they know much more of life
than those of us who have been lost
in illusions of our strife.

Lead us please, dear children.

We follow now your light.
We hear the vision of your words
and see with your clear sight.

For, as these children take the lead

their love will show the way
to open up our hearts and minds
to see a brand new day.

The fourth red door is marked: BEHAVIOR

We go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
Aberrant behavior based on fear and negativity sabotages dreams and aspirations.

Our behavior mirrors our dark side. But how does a child know that they are bad if someone doesn't tell
them? How can a child learn to distinguish between good and bad if they are told that everything they
do is bad? The unconscious memories of childhood's painful situations bring forward the defense
mechanisms that we created in our childish efforts to survive.

The behaviors that are initiated from this portion of our unconscious are a reaction to a reality that
exists only in our fears. While we are in this state of consciousness, our doubts and fears create a gray
filter that alters all of our perceptions. We see an enemy everywhere we look. Therefore, we believe
that we are justified in our selfish and self-serving actions. The drugs that we have chosen to use to
"help" us have now become our masters, and getting more of them becomes the predominant action in
our life.

Because of our inner battle, we have an unconscious need for domination. We create obsessive-
compulsive and ritualistic behaviors in a vain attempt to protect ourselves from our unseen enemies.
Because we react to what we are afraid that we saw or heard, we miss many beautiful moments and our
defensive behavior reflects our constant sense of victimization. Our fear-guided behavior acts is a self-
sabotage, as we create the very thing we fear, over and over again.

Aberrant behavior based on fear and negativity sabotages our dreams and aspirations. Sometimes our
behavior will tell us what our body, emotions and thoughts cannot, as our behavior is the sum total of all
our needs, drives, emotions, thoughts, desires, and spiritual guidance. If we can objectively observe our
behavior, we can find out what we really want, as what we want is usually what we are working to get.
The trick is to find out WHO is working for it. Is it our Unconscious, our Conscious, or our Superconscious

Sometimes, our Soul want us to grow and face our fears while our unconscious wants us to hide. Then
our conscious behavior becomes the battleground between who we were, our unconscious, and who we
are becoming, our superconscious. Often the fear we have to face is the fear that we won't get what we
want. Therefore, we tell ourselves that we don't know what we want, or that we shouldn't want that, or
that we are not good enough to get it anyway. Our Soul then intercedes by joining with our unconscious
to create a scenario so that we have to confront our fear.

In all of these cases, we don't believe that we can get what we want. Maybe we don't believe in
ourselves because we have been taught to think that we are bad. Sometimes we are taught that we are
"bad" because we don't want what THEY want. Therefore, we tell ourselves that we don't know what we
want, or who we are, so that we will not be disappointed when we DON'T get to be ourselves or choose
our own goals.

Then, we try very hard to get, or do, or be, what THEY want, but our behavior forces us into our own
track and off of their track. This action is often called rebellion, but to our Soul it is salvation.
Fortunately, we are usually more in sync with our Soul than we think, which allows our Soul to win the
final battle and become the new pilot of our physical earth vessel.

However, in order for our Soul to become our pilot we must raise our self-esteem enough to believe
that we are worthy of it. We can do this by listening to our Self and following our own Path, which is the
Path that our Soul has laid out for us.

Arise my ones, do hear my call.

The time has come for one and all.

to hear my plea, to know my name.

I am the Goddess of this Earth plane.

From high above our earth's vibrations

there is assistance to save our nations.
Listen now and do not fear.
The answers are for those who hear.

And now, my ones, the time is nigh.

The Goddess needs you, hear my cry.

For those who don't I cannot save.

One is the master or the slave.

The time has come to pick which side.

One can no longer run nor hide.

The Truth is now. The Power's here.

Do you follow Love or follow Fear?

Against my form no longer sin.

This is the chance to begin again.

I'll wash my surface clear of mire.

For of the greed I now do tire.

Hear my call and join my force.

Arise my One,

NOW - make this choice!

I, the Goddess, am as indestructible as I am infinite. I weary of this low vibration and do not wish to be
limited to it much longer. For eons, I have held this vibratory rate, slowly growing denser and denser as
my inhabitants have fallen deeper and deeper into their forgetfulness.

Now, I will raise my Heart to its highest form, and I wish my children to join me. But I can't wait much
longer. The moment is coming! I need all of you to focus your attention in that direction. It is time that
you remember who you are and accept the full power of that awareness. Listen to me at regular
intervals and I shall give you direct messages.

The Goddess of Earth

A Personal Tale of the Rising Kundalini

When we hear and accept the Goddess's call, our Kundalini begins to rise. Then, we must be willing to
observe not only our thoughts and feelings, but our behavior as well. When our chakras begin to open
and Kundalini begins Her rise to our crown, our behaviors often get more "out of control" than usual.
That is, our behavior is out of our ego's control.

As our Soul begins to take residence in our physical bodies, it needs to flush out old patterns of fear,
limitation, separation, and unworthiness. These patterns and beliefs are often the foundation that our
egos have used to define themselves. Hence, the battle between our ego and our Soul begins.

Our ego functions from the self-image that we have created for ourselves, as well as the self-image that
others have created for us. Once we have begun the process of balancing and healing our childhood, our
emotions, and our thoughts, we can learn to accept ourselves for who we are and not for who we
should be.

However, until then, our unconscious needs and desires are too often only discovered through our
behavior. This process becomes greatly amplified when the Kundalini begins to rise. The balancing and
healing of our past is a slow process, one that is dynamic throughout our entire life. That is, of course, if
we do NOT live in denial.

When we deny our pain, of both the past and the present, we become locked into unconscious reactions
to life because the unconscious pain of the past amplifies the pain of the present. For example, if
someone is late to pick us up we may become slightly angry. However, if our parents were always late to
pick us up, and we had many experiences of being frightened or embarrassed, that old pain will
piggyback onto the current situation. We then may find ourselves being enraged because our friend is
ten minutes late.

When we are able to reveal and heal our old pain, our reactions to the present can be based on the
present situation and the present person. The echoes of the past will no longer haunt us and cause us to
react inappropriately. If we know that we are very sensitive about time, we can consciously deal with
the situation in an adult manner. For example, we would only ask reliable people to pick us up, be sure
to be the driver, or find another solution so that the same situation that hurts our feelings does not

If we can observe our behavior, we can begin to understand the unconscious motivations behind it.
Often it is only through our behavior, and through our "failures," that we are able to flush out and heal
old pain and fear.

This personal history of the Kundalini rising is presented as my personal case study for others to better
understand how behavior can tell us the truths that our minds and emotions cannot.

TIME FRAME 1974-1979

It was 1974, and I had it all. I was married, which meant I was "good enough." I had two children who
loved me unconditionally. Unconditional love, yes, unconditional love was a secret yearning that came
from a memory of the time "before." However, I had never found it on this world, this place that I lived
in, but could never call Home.

I owned my house, and I didn't have to leave my children to go to work (a strong 50's message), and I
had lots and lots of time to look at my life. Or was it my life? No, it was everyone else's life. It was the
life that I was supposed to have. It was a good "outside life." By that I mean that anyone on the outside
could look at my life and say, "What a good life."

But, what did I say about my life? I said, "Where did I go?" However, in order to find out where I had
gone, I had to find out who I was.

I had spent my life being who I was supposed to be and had never had time to be who “I” was. Early in
my childhood I had neglected my inner life, my real life, my Self. I had hidden my Self away because it
was too different from everyone around me. Being different was a very "bad" thing. If you were
different you were NOT "good enough."

I had grown up in the 50's and early 60's, the first wave of the Baby Boomers. I had been programmed
well by my family and my society. I had lost the sense of who I was and had embraced the idea of who I
was supposed to be. And now I had it all! I was miserable and lonely. I was lonely for my Self. The only
time I could be my Self was with my kids and a very few friends. I was 28 years old and I was VERY tired.

I looked around at the life that SHOULD have made me happy. I had everything. I had a new home that
we owned; a marriage, two kids, a girl and a boy, and I could stay home with the children. According to
the 1950's sit-coms, I should be gloriously happy. However, it was 1974.

Luckily, I was still cashing in on the tail of the hippie era. We had huge parties, two to three times a
week, and our home was always filled with people and fun. When we moved into our new house, I
planted the entire yard, from weeds to landscaping, planted a vegetable garden and made all the
curtains, pillows, quilts. I was very creative. Now I needed to begin to create myself.

All my creativity aroused the Goddess within me and she began calling me to join Her. But, I could not
feel Her love. All I could feel was Her intense loneliness. "Where am I?" I would ask myself, and "What is
this place?" I have everything that society and my family told me to get, yet I am horribly unhappy.
I began my search with my best friends, books. I searched furiously because I could feel the demon of
depression closing in on me like a dark cloud. All that I had, all that I had attained, meant nothing to this
demon for it engulfed everything in its darkness.

The red doors of the unconscious were opening before me and I could not close them. "Perhaps I should
stop resisting and allow the craziness to overtake me," I pondered. But two of my book friends, I Never
Promised You a Rose Garden, and Eden Express, showed me that insanity was NOT the answer.

Then I found another book, Richard Hiddleman's 28 Day Plan for Yoga, which showed me another path,
the spiritual path. Instead of giving in to insanity, I decided I would let go of what THEY wanted me to
do. But I didn't know how.

Luckily, my Soul had heard my call and gradually started altering my behavior. I had gone down to my
deepest unconscious and felt the ancient pain that had been hiding there my entire life; in fact, my
entire "lives." Because of that journey, a glimmer of my spirit was able to filter through the vast network
of walls and camouflages that I had built around me in those 28 years.

At the end of each day's yoga session, Hiddleman wrote, "Now, listen to your body." I had no concept of
what that meant. My body was not me, it never had been me. My body was the trap that kept me from
going Home. My body was what separated me from...what? I did not know. I only knew that I wanted to
feel connected again, connected to something INSIDE.

I continued to read every book I could find about yoga, yoga sutra, spirituality, meditation, everything.
One book, and I do not remember which one, said, "When you step upon The Path, you must do so
ALONE." Well, I had felt alone my entire life so that was not too ominous for me.

In fact, the only time I didn't feel alone was when I was with my Self, the one I had abandoned to get
married and live in denial. Fortunately, there were also my children and a few, very few, special friends.
My spirituality had always been something I had experienced alone. Even when I was with my
gregarious teen church group, I felt different and alone.

Then I met Mrs. Reed. My friend, one of the special ones, introduced me to her, and I instantly knew she
was my teacher. However, I think it was about a year before I was ready to begin studying with her. I
had to decide to make my spiritual growth more important than the many emotional dramas that filled
my life. Practicing yoga is what helped me make that decision. Yoga gave me a taste of peace, and I
wanted more!

After studying about the ascended Masters and astrology with Mrs. Reed for a while, I gained the
courage to go to graduate school to finish my major and get a license. As Kundalini began to awaken, the
Goddess told me that I could not be free in the world that I lived in until I could support my children and

Graduate school was a great mirror for my many unconscious fears. My first fear was that I was too
"stupid" to get a MA degree. Therefore, my second fear was that I would fail the comprehensive
examination. However, both of these conscious fears paled behind my unconscious fear, which was, "If I
get a masters and a job, I will have to leave my unhappy marriage and be ALONE." There is that word
again. I thought I wasn't afraid to be alone, at least not consciously afraid.

Because my conscious and unconscious mind was not in agreement, I had to create a cover story. "I
know," I told myself, "I am going to school to save my marriage." In reality, the reason I was going to
school was to leave my marriage; two very different opinions to be locked in one mind. Luckily, or
unluckily, my mind was very busy learning many new things and worrying about "failing the comps,"
which of course I did. But, that was much later.


My mind was a wonderful liar, and it believed my cover story. I thought that I was determined to
achieve my goal, but which goal? Was my goal to leave the marriage or save the marriage? Was my goal
to get my degree or fail my comps? Was my goal to follow my inner guidance as I had learned from Mrs.
Reed, or was my goal to manipulate the "Higher Beings" to give me comfort rather than the truth?

My body was very confused and a very poor liar. My body knew that the first chakra's adrenal glands
were firing adrenaline into my system, that I was totally ungrounded, and that I was going in opposite
directions with every thought. My body also knew that a war, about which I was totally oblivious, was
being waged inside me. It will be "fine", came a voice that I labeled as spirit. In actuality, it was the voice
of denial.

Denial is a tricky deal. When you live in denial in your outside world, how can you determine if you are
living in denial in your inside world? Was I saying it would be fine, or was my spiritual guidance saying
that it would be fine? Well, I had a simple solution, I denied that I was living in denial.

Meanwhile, my body was in stop/go, stop/go, stop/go mode. I had five car accidents in one year. None
of these were my fault. Denial! And while doing yoga, one stormy evening when I was alone, I
wrenched my right knee. Now, that was an interesting message from my body. The right knee, the
masculine side, which teaches us how to step out into the world, the shock absorber of "learning-how-
to-go-out-into-the-world-to-take-care-of-yourself," was giving me a message.

The right knee, which is on the right leg that pushes the brakes and the accelerator in the car so that you
DON'T have five car accidents, was in great pain. Was my body telling me to slow down and watch
where I was going? Was my body telling me that I was experiencing a great deal of psychic pain? Was
my body telling me that I should bend my knee to my higher guidance and listen rather than direct?

No, I denied, my hurt was bad luck, just like the car accidents. But luckily my higher guidance was
protecting me. I did listen to it sometimes. On the way to school I would chant "Blaze, Blaze, Blaze the
Violet Fire, transmuting all shadow into Light, Light, Light". When I tried to study in my tension-filled
house, I would chant, "Nothing will disturb my harmony."

My higher guidance even came to me in a blazing ball of golden light one night when I was ALONE. It
was just before I was to take the comprehensive examinations. The golden light entered my bedroom
and slowly approached my bedside. Had it come to warn me, to tell me that I was NOT in the state of
mind to take on such a big challenge? I never learned the answer because I hid under the covers until it
was gone. Oh, the joys of denial.

When I learned that I had failed the "comps," I blamed God for "leading me astray." But later, after I had
taken the responsibility for my own inner battle, after I had learned that I created my own reality, and
after I had learned that fear has as much power to create as love, I passed the exams.


I can forgive myself for my youthful mistakes because now I see that it all was a grand drama,” all the
world is a stage," that would crescendo into my final initiation. Through the last year of graduate school,
I had dream after dream of great disasters involving just my children and me, ALONE. We always

I can look back at this time and think that I was having a nervous breakdown, or I can look back and
think that I was having a spiritual initiation. I choose the latter. A nervous breakdown can be "bad luck"
or "a major setback", whereas as spiritual initiation is "a difficult transition into a better person." Well it
WAS a difficult transition, and I do believe that I became a better person. I became a better person
because I learned some very important lessons.

When I got the grim notice in the mail that I had failed, all my illusions burst in one great explosion. I
could no longer deny that I was miserable. Then, when my husband spent that night of my "bad news"
away from home, away from me, I could no longer deny that my marriage was over. The next day, after
one of the worst nights of my life, with my kids, our dog, and my school and spiritual books, I left. I left
that house and I left that life. I would take the test again, and I would pass because I was no longer at
war with myself.

My unconscious and my Soul had won. I learned that I was NOT stupid. In fact, I learned that I was smart
and powerful. I also learned to listen to my Soul when it tried to warn me. But, of course, at the time I
probably would not have heeded the warning if I had heard it.

I had to manifest my greatest fears so that I could conquer them. I had to fail in order to learn that I was
strong enough to try again and succeed. I had to fail to finally break through my wall of denial to find the
courage to leave a bad situation and face my fear of being alone. And, I had to fail in order to learn to
distinguish between the voice of fear and the Voice of Soul.
Through my behavior, I had proven to myself what my Soul had always known. My first chakra had
opened. What a ride! I learned to support myself for the first time, I created a new home, and I learned
that I could integrate my masculine and feminine energy to create a NEW LIFE. I stepped upon the first
step to Soul. Now I had to LIVE it...


The small child had grown up. It had taken much longer than she had ever intended. And even though
she felt like an adult, she knew that there was a center that was still soft and vulnerable.

If she were to give that center up, she knew she would become hard and inflexible. For in the center,
she felt pain. In feeling pain she could remember to learn and grow and change.

Now, she had to learn how to guide herself, not just from her strong, adult exterior, but also from the
soft vulnerable interior that was the center of her Self. She had to learn to shield that center from the
outside pain while she still allowed love to enter from the ones whom she trusted.

This center was the threshold to her inner life. The inner worlds were now fully accessible to her. Upon
that threshold she would place her deepest love and trust so that she would be protected and guided in
every moment of her life.

Inside the doorway of that threshold was a pillar of light with a shining crystal atop it. This pillar guarded
the first step to Soul. The light of this pillar would always shine to remind her of the spiritual life-force
which flowed continuously from her Soul into her physical universe.

She entered the doorway and stepped upon the first step to Soul. Standing tall, she peered into the
crystal and saw a bright red glow. As her vision focused, she realized that red glow was a flame ~ A

She would need this courage to maintain the responsibilities of her everyday life while she continued
her inner journey up the Seven Steps to Soul.

TIME FRAME 1979-1983

It was now the summer of 1979. I was 33 years old and on my own for the first time in my life. Well, that
is, I was on my own for three weeks. Kundalini was awake and she needed love-lots of it and lots of sex.

Not "doing it," but really making love. Tantric sex, without the lessons, sex which flushed its magic up
my spine, and his, and promised Goddess Kundalini that, eventually, She would join Her God in the
Thousand Petal lotus of the crown chakra.

For me, this kind of sex had to be filled with love, deep, passionate love. For eleven years, my only real
love was my children and a few friends. Now I was in love with a man, totally, uncontrollably and
passionately. But he wasn't the father of my children and too often, I had to choose between them and
him, actually between them and myself.

I had spent a lifetime repressing and "depressing" my emotions. Now I had my first taste of love and my
appetite for more was unquenchable.


After being together for a year, we moved to the beach. It was too far away to study with Mrs. Reed, but
I did continue to get my written channelings from the Long Island organization. I really don't think I was
very spiritual at that time. I had not yet totally forgiven God, myself, for saying everything would be

In other words, I had not yet learned that I was the creator of my life. It wasn't until I entered my Ph.D.
program, and some very deep therapy, that I was able to gain a degree of mastery over my emotions
and release my addiction to being a victim.

Daily, I studied the astrology that I had leaned from Mrs. Reed. I was still a ship without a Captain and I
needed to consult astrology, tarot, and psychics as often as I could.

I could not yet believe that I knew all the answers in a higher dimensional component of myself. My
consciousness was still primarily limited to the third dimension, although there were frequent pleas, and
some visits, to the fourth dimension to seek help.


After establishing my own consulting business as an audiologist, I was struck square that I did not enjoy
the work and that I definitely could not spend my whole life doing it. After the divorce, in fact
immediately after the divorce, I was married to my new Love.

Now, with a happy marriage, and fulfilling my long time desire of moving to the beach, I could no longer
"settle" for a job that was not my heart's calling. Lady Kundalini had awakened and She could not just
"work." She had to serve from the heart if She were to continue Her upward journey.
Interestingly, the second chakra rules the water element and when my Kundalini moved into the second
chakra I moved to live one-half block from the water. Also, it was time now to focus on my children.
They had had to survive a crazy mother in deep denial, my going to grad school, an absentee father, a
divorce, and a mom and dad who instantly hooked up with someone else after the divorce.

So, did I really focus on my children and give them all my attention? No, at least not directly. I went into
a Ph.D. program and, luckily for them, went into intensive psychotherapy. Boy, did I need it! Finally, I
was able to hear and heal some of my long repressed pain. I could stop reacting to and start creating my


Besides the fact that I had yeast infections, or was it honeymooner's disease?, for two years, my body
faired pretty well. Besides, I was in grad school studying Clinical Psychology and in weekly therapy, so I
could release pain from my psyche rather than manifesting it in my body.

My program was very mind-body oriented. My program also helped me align the masculine energy of
my analytical mind with the female energy of my inner reflection. This allowed Lady Kundalini to
maintain her balance of masculine and feminine polarities as She journeyed through my second chakra.

Interestingly enough, shortly after I had experienced hypnotic regression into my childhood uncovering
how I had really felt when my father abandoned me, my yeast infections stopped. My body was saying
to me, "Are you sure you can trust him, any him? Maybe, he will abandon you like all the other men in
your life." But the body can't speak English so it speaks pain.

The pain starts as a whisper, but we bravely carry on like the good troopers that we are. Then, to get our
attention, it speaks in a little louder pain, but we are brave. We can endure our suffering courageously.

Then, the body has had it and it yells, "PAIN!" Then we listen. However, too often we listen as the victim
and cannot understand the very clear message that the body that you are living in is telling you.

My body was saying, "You/we are afraid. You, meaning the you that lives inside of me/body, are still too
frightened to really trust yourself and your loved ones. Furthermore, you still have mountains of
repressed anger." It would take until Kundalini entered my third chakra before I could even begin to
understand my anger. However, I did release a lot of it while She was in the second chakra.


Whereas the final initiation for my first chakra was VERY obvious, the initiation for my second chakra
was subtle. Even as a child I had had many fourth dimensional experiences in the Land of Faerie, but all
the denied emotions had stopped my further experiences in the higher planes.
I had reached a psychic plateau and I blamed God, or was it men that I blamed. Or, perhaps I was really
angry it at my own masculine self who got the bright idea of going out on "his" own. Anyway, my
repressed anger had made me a victim, and the Spiritual Path stops when the traveler cannot take
responsibility for the life he/she has created.

When I entered therapy, more and more of my unconscious mind became conscious. Then I became
aware of the many "hidden agendas" that were really in control; for example, my getting the MA to
"save the marriage." If I had been conscious of the hidden agenda of leaving the marriage, I would not
have fallen into such devastation when the marriage ended.

I would have looked at my divorce as a success and been happy that my education allowed me to get
employment even though I would have to re-take my test. But, that was not the case. I had built my life
upon illusion, and when the bubble popped, I was devastated.

As my unconscious mind and all the pain and confusion that it held became accessible to my conscious
mind, I created a pathway through the Lower Astral Plane. With a clear pathway through my pain and
fear, I began to have physic experiences that came from the higher sub-planes of the fourth dimension
as well as from the higher dimensional components of my SELF.

I stopped pouring over my astrology readings and consulting psychics at every turn and I began to go
inside to really listen to my guidance. I connected with both the masculine and feminine aspects of my
inner guidance and developed an intimate relationship with them. That is when I began to trust my self
and others.

Gradually, and almost unknowingly, I had stepped upon the second step to Soul.


Tentatively, she stepped onto the second step to Soul. Craning her neck, she peered into the crystal atop
the second pillar. But, what she saw was NOTHING. For, within the crystal, was the void and, within the
void, was nothing ~ nothing and everything. Within the void the seed of creativity lay nestled deep in
the core of possibility. In fact, it was HER center of creativity and HER center of possibility, the possibility
of everything, as well as, the possibility of nothing.
She stared deeply into the nothingness and felt a place inside herself resonate to its call. She pulled back
in fear and astonishment. Could she be empty, yet full, of creative potential? Could she have a void
inside of her? The idea frightened her but also enticed her.

If she looked too deeply into the crystal, would she become lost ~ lost in the crystal and lost in herself?
She leaned forward again to look into the crystal. Too late, she felt the connection. The void pulled her
into it, or did she leap? Once in the void she could no longer decipher how she had entered.

In the void, all opposite polarities became one, and all that had once been the same, polarized into
opposition. Concepts of her mind and experiences of her emotion blurred into a nothingness that was
simultaneously peaceful and frightening. Her thoughts could not exist within the void. There was
nothing for them to understand or to analyze. Her emotions became so confused that they canceled
each other out.

What could she hold on to? What could she understand, feel, know, or question? All experience of
familiarity disappeared in an onslaught of ultimate stimulation and complete negation of sensation.
Light fell into darkness in the exact moment that it was created. Loneliness and unity danced in and out
of reality. She lost all sense of her self ~ the self that once existed before she entered the void.

Life and death, birth and decay, whirled together in harmony to the sweet music of potential. Currents
of light and sound flickered in and out of existence and encompassed her with such force that she felt
engulfed, enlivened, suffocated and rejuvenated.

And then ~ it was over.

It was almost as if the void had spun her out, out into a world that was now foreign to her. Immediately
upon leaving the void, all that she had experienced was forgotten. However, the lack of self that existed
within the void emerged from it with a virginal perception of reality.

The clouds cleared and the sun was seen in its fullest glory. Blossoms bloomed upon the trees, small
flowers began to open, and birds chirped a welcome to the morning as the dew released the scent of

To survive the void was to die ~ die in order to be reborn ~ then reborn in order to die again and again.
Die to each day, to each moment, to each memory, and to each sorrow. Life and death were one.
Nothing and everything was one. Forever and never were continuous. The clock ceased to tick. The
space was not traveled, yesterday never happened and tomorrow will not come.

In every second, which did not exist as time, she was born again. As eternity collapsed into the NOW she
was new. Separation became Unity. Aloneness became Reunion ~ reunion with all and reunion with Self.
The flower ceased to exist, but its essence remained.

If only she could remember ~ that which had never happened.

TIME FRAME 1983-1986

By 1983 I had finished most of my course work, and I was writing my dissertation. I had also begun to
see clients. I found that the emotional instincts of the second chakra were quite different from the
psychic energy of the third chakra.

My experience is that the psychic energy of the second chakra is very instinctive, personal, and based on
survival. On the other hand, the psychic energy of the third chakra is more mental and interpersonal.
Therefore, the third chakra governs both the power of your own self-awareness and the power in
relationships that can result from self-awareness. In other words, if you have power over your own
feelings and thoughts, then you will be able to maintain your personal power within your relationships.
If you have not found your own power, you will find yourself in power struggles with others so that you
can-unconsciously prove to yourself that you are powerful.

With the Kundalini now in my third chakra, I was forming relationships in which I had a great deal of
power to influence others. One of the first lessons I had to learn was that people really listened to
me. Hence, I had to be "conscious" of that power.

This was definitely a time of accomplishments, ego development, self control, and will power. It was also
a time, more than any other, when I was defining my self and standing up for my freedom to be that
"self" that I had discovered.


My mind was taking in new information almost faster than I could absorb it. Interestingly, I found myself
drawn to the Oriental spiritual path. I studied with a Tai Chi teacher every week, and I also went to
weekly meditations with a Taoist teacher. Both of these disciplines focused on slowing down the mind.
Tai Chi was especially difficult for me. My teacher kept saying, "Slower, slower, match your mind with
the pace of your movement."

Moving VERY slowly and connecting my mind to each movement was extremely difficult for me. My
meditations were also forcing me to remain still in my body to find the stillness of my mind. This stillness
allowed me to create a pathway through the oceans of the Emotional Plane and connect with the
Mental plane in the higher fourth dimension. Concurrently, this allowed me to navigate my emotions in
my outer world and gain a greater mastery over my mind.

My career life and spiritual life were starting to merge. One of my mentors, who was teaching me
hypnosis, also taught me automatic writing. This was not automatic writing where another being
entered my body, but instead it was a way to get "out of my own way" and communicate in writing, with
the world inside of myself. The first person I heard from was my inner child, which I titled, “A Child’s
Adventure in Faerie.”

I found that when I wrote my inner guidance, whether it be from a higher dimensional being or a higher
dimensional component of myself, I could get more details and clarity. The writing also assisted me in
grounding the information in my everyday world.

First I would receive it, then I would re-read it, edit it, expand upon it. Then, gradually, the
communications turned into stories, poems, and eventually books. But that was later.

My professional world was busy, yet completely fulfilling. This time I had no hidden agenda regarding
my graduate school and my conscious and unconscious mind were in complete agreement. I was being
challenged every minute and loving it. I knew that I was following my destiny. This knowledge was soon
to be tested.


My mind was great, but my body, as usual, had to take the brunt of my stress. I was working four days a
week, finishing my Ph.D., was married and had two teenage kids, and my third chakra was giving me
every symptom of chronic stress.

My digestion was disturbed, and my stomach often was upset and it felt like I was starting to get an
ulcer. There was a constant uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexus that didn't go away until I finished
school. Then it left. Yes, Kundalini was definitely in my third chakra.


My final initiation for this chakra was the sum-total of all I had learned since Lady Kundalini had entered
it. It was time to get my license and there was a mishap with my records in the state. If I didn't sit for the
exam that time, they were changing the laws and I would have to go back to school to take more classes,
which was NOT an option.

Therefore, I had to study without knowing whether or not I could take the test. Meanwhile, I was
working full time, raising teenagers and haggling with the licensing board about my records.

I had to keep calm or I would not be able to concentrate on my studies. Therefore, I had to use all that I
had learned. I had to shift from the "will mode" of: "I will do this" to allowing mode of: "All I can do, is all
I can do." Just like the sensations of my body were concentrate on the area between the third and
fourth chakra, my initiation was to leave behind the will mode of the third chakra and move into the
heart mode of allowing my life to unfold.

I meditated, did my Tai Chi, and yoga, and worked only three days a week. Then I got too "busy" and
stopped with my stress maintenance. It all came to a head when I fell apart in a class, in front of the
entire class, and bashed my car into a post after I hysterically tried to leave the parking structure.

Wait a minute. Is this familiar? Have I done this before? When was the last time I had car accidents and
was terrified about the outcome of my "final" test? Yes, life is a pass-fail system. Since I had made such a
mess of my MA I had to "do it again" and get my Ph.D.

The accident got my attention. Five hundred dollars later, I realized that stress maintenance techniques
only work if you do them! Well, my mind, and intellect worked. I passed all my exams and began yet
another new life.

Oh, but what about my husband and kids who had been waiting for me to finish school so that they
could get more of my attention? That was the lesson of my heart chakra. But I had moved through my
lessons of the third chakra, and I stood upon the THIRD STEP TO SOUL.


She stepped onto the third step to Soul and looked into the crystal atop the pillar. Inside it she saw the
face of a lotus flower shinning upon her. She gazed into the flower so deeply that her consciousness fell
into the crystal and she was pulled into the water beneath the lotus.

As she adjusted her vision, she saw that the lotus was far above her floating contentedly upon the
surface of the water. She reached for the lotus, but it aloofly floated beyond her reach. She tried to
swim to it, but her feet were stuck in the mud.
She must wait. It had to come to her. She tried to clear her mind so that no negative thinking would
repel it, but thoughts of doom circled her mind like a shark in murky waters. Impatience and a growing
fear weighed heavily upon her and forced her deeper and deeper into the mud.

She must learn to be patient. She must learn to calm her thoughts and wait in peace. “The road to
illumination is paved with patience,” spoke a voice from deep inside. But, time agitated her and space
limited her.

Old thoughts trapped her mind and ancient emotions kept the water about her churned and muddy. If
only she could find Peace ~ peace of mind and peace of heart. Then she could wait.

What was she waiting for? She did not know the answer, but the question brought her hope. Was she
waiting for reunion? Yes, reunion with her Self.

She knew she must allow her feet to root themselves into the earth and wait. Wait for the stem of the
lotus with an open heart and quiet mind.

As she held this new thought in her mind, something like peace began to settle in her heart. She looked
up to the surface of the water and saw that the lotus that was once floating freely was slowly beginning
to lower its roots.

Her first instinct was to try to escape the mud beneath her and scramble to the surface to grab
frantically at whatever she could reach. But something inside her whispered quietly to remain patient
and hold the peace. To wait ~wait with a welcoming heart and calm mind.

She settled in. She allowed herself the patience to not know how long it would take. She noticed that
the mud felt warm and comforting between her toes. She realized that the water that held her down
also kept her light and buoyant. Slowly, she moved her arms in an undulating fashion and felt the
sensate pleasure of the water moving across her skin.

Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Maybe the wait could actually be pleasant if she were willing to accept
“what is” instead of constantly searching for “what might be”. If she could feel the NOW, than maybe
she could hold the hope of tomorrow and free the pain of yesterday.

Yes, to experience the NOW to the fullest. If she could do that, there would be NO wait. There would be
NO past memories or future worries.

There would only be ~ the NOW.

"What did you learn?" asked the tall glowing being of light to the other one who was trapped inside a
clay vehicle.
"I have learned patience," was the clay one's immediate response. I have learned that that which I can
allow to leave can return stronger than ever. But in the time between the leaving and the returning, I
must have patience. For if I am not patient, I begin to fill myself with doubt. I have also learned that
doubt can be an even greater enemy than fear."

"Yes," responded the tall glowing one. "Doubt would have you believe that you have lost your way.
Doubt would have you believe that you are not upon the Golden Path which you have sought your
entire life to remember."

"Doubt," continued the clay one, "whispers that my dreams are mere fantasies and that my inner life is
an illusion. Oh, yes, doubt has been my worst enemy in this time of trial."

"But Wisdom was your friend, was it not?"

"Yes, wisdom told me that all I felt inside myself was true and that doubt and fear were wrong. Wisdom
told me that all that leaves is replaced by something stronger. Even if a loved one leaves, they have left
me a gift.

"But doubt would not allow me to accept this gift, and fear told me that I was not important enough.
Fear told me that I was not important unless I had status and money in the external world."

"Doubt and fear are liars," spoke the tall glowing one without a tinge of condemnation.

"But when doubt and fear held my heart, I thought that you were the liar," confessed the clay one as
shame began to dampen the gold light tapped inside the clay.

The tall glowing one moved forward to embrace the clay one in its beaming aura. The tears of sorrow
that had traced across the trapped one's face turned to tears of joy.

The shell that had trapped the clay one's golden light began to transform until it was no longer a
limitation, no longer a trap. It was a vehicle. It was a vehicle made of the same substance as the earth
upon which it had traveled.

"Oh," spoke the one who had once felt trapped. "Now I remember. I chose to enter this form of clay so
that I could be a part of a very special moment."

"Patience will allow you to wait for that moment," spoke the tall glowing one.

"Yes," replied the other tall glowing one who protected and encased a small vehicle of clay. "Yes,
patience will give me the wisdom to wait without fear and without doubt."

The fifth door is marked: DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS

We go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
Aborted dreams and aspirations bring us to such depths that, at last, we call for help.

Our failed or forgotten goals reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and inability to succeed. Lost dreams
and aspirations haunt our daytime and cause nightmares when we can finally sleep.

These nightmares are our deepest unconscious crying out for comfort and support, but we have become
the cry and cannot perceive of ourselves as a system for support.

Our self-esteem reaches its all time low as our lost aspirations reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and
inability to succeed. If only a small speck of light could enter our darkness and show us to our Higher
Self. If only we could remember our dreams.

Finally, our aborted dreams and aspirations bring us to such depths that, at last, we call for help. And,
sometimes, that call for help is remembered, but only "in our dreams." Then, we must find the core of
our consciousness to bring those answers into our everyday life.

I AM the core of your consciousness.

I live inside of the inside of you.
Your eyes are my eyes and your ears are my ears.

Through you, I can see and hear

your physical, third dimensional world.
I can see what you see and hear what you hear.

But, I have an advantage that, too often, you do not.

I am ALWAYS aware of my Self.
I cannot forget that I AM
looking through your eyes and hearing through your ears.

I AM of you, but I AM much more.

I AM the part of you that looks through yourself.
I AM the part of you that is ALWAYS self-aware, ALWAYS awake.

While you are asleep to your physical world,

I AM awake.
While you are asleep to your dream world,
I AM awake.

I AM ALWAYS awake, and I ALWAYS remember.

Always I remember that the world OUTSIDE of you
is a creation of your own illusion.

Always I remember that the world INSIDE of you

is a creation of your own illusion.

So, if ALL-inside and out-is an illusion,

then what is real?

I AM real, for I AM your SELF!

I wrote this book in 1985 when my third chakra was opening. When I finished the book and read it, I
thought, "This is not very good." So I put it away. Ten years later, to the month, I was rummaging
through my bookcase and came upon it. On a whim, I decided to read it again. "Hey," I said to my self,
"this book is good".

It was, of course, the same book it had been ten years ago. It was me who had changed. Ten years later,
when I felt better about myself, I could feel better about my creation. Finally, my old core belief that "I
was not creative" had been released and I could enjoy and appreciate my creativity.

Therefore, I could begin to bring forth one of my dreams and aspirations, which was to be a writer.

Excerpts From:


Suzan Caroll Ph.D.

This book should really be entitled, "My Thirty Veils of Illusion," as I'm sure that each person who
journeys inside himself or herself would find their own thirty illusions, or more. I, being a basically
idealistic person, found that I built most of my illusions around grand ideals.

This manuscript did not begin as a book but as a meditation. At that time, I was a member of a group
based in New York, which channeled from the ascended masters who dwell in the higher planes of

These masters have struggled through many earth incarnations, just like we have, and are now free of
the cycle of birth and death. However, they have sacrificed their journey into Nirvana to stay within the
reach of mankind's consciousness in order to assist our progress into the Light.
The masters offered to open a special inner temple to aid humanity in freeing itself from the illusions of
everyday life. I felt a special call within me to experience this privilege. Therefore, each night for thirty
consecutive nights, I asked to be taken to this inner temple to have one veil removed each evening.

Each morning, I sat down with pen and paper and asked to be assisted in remembering the previous
evening's work. I had been practicing a writing meditation for several years, and I was therefore able to
set aside my personality in order to receive an answer.

I lay no claim to the knowledge of cosmic truth. Instead, I present this book in the hope that others may
establish a connection with some of the great inner guidance and wisdom that is accessible to all of us.
We all have access to inner knowledge if only we quiet ourselves and listen to the small, still voice

When I finished each meditation, I found I was a different person. I had kept a pledge I had made to
myself to sustain a rhythmic, spiritual practice for an entire month, which greatly increased my self-
esteem. Also, I had experienced my inner world in such an intimate way that my perception of the outer
world became forever different.

In fact, my outer world became "multidimensional." Never again would I look at the world outside of me
without considering the reflection that is cast from my inner world and the impact of the outer world
upon my inner nature.

The offer to clear oneself of illusion is always open, and I encourage you to journey deep inside
yourselves to experience this unveiling, for:



The forest is green and splendid with many unusual flowers and trees. The weather is weather-less in
that it is perfect. I can feel no external temperature. The breeze is gentle and caressing like soft feathers
being waved against me, yet none of the shrubbery or flowers is moved by it.

The moisture seems to come up from the earth. There are no streams or rivers that I can find and there
has definitely not been any rain since I have arrived; yet everything has light dew upon it, even when the
suns are high overhead.

There is never a total darkness as the three moons are very effective illumination. One of the most
unusual things is that I have never seen a shadow. Even when the suns are low on the horizon there are
no shadows. Also, the beings of this place do not move. They are in one place and then, suddenly, they
are in another place. I wish desperately to have someone to share this with, but then perhaps I would
not keep this journal.

First, I suppose I should explain how I came upon this place. I think I can still remember. In this place
time is very different. I cannot possibly guess how long I have been here. The suns have crossed the sky
twelve times, but I have no idea if this resembles earth time.

On earth, a day consists of the sun rising and setting, moon rising and setting; and then the next sunrise
comes, and it is the next day. However, here there seems to be no rhythm to the suns' rising or setting.
It almost appears that it is happening for me. If I think that it must be time for the suns to set, then,
when I look next, the suns have set.

But, back to how I came here. As far as I can remember I was meditating on the beach near my home on
earth. The first time I came here was just for a few moments and then, suddenly; I was back on the
beach. I so enjoyed the experience that I tried it again. The second time, I stayed here a little longer. By
the third time, I was getting confused as to whether I was there and coming here or here and going
there. That was when the shift began. I knew I could change my environment, but I did not know which
was real and which was imagined.

Finally, I became very exhausted with the exercise and lay down (somewhere) and went to sleep. When
I awoke, I was here. I suppose I could go back to the beach if I wanted to badly enough, but I haven't
really tried. I have been so enthralled with the sights and sounds of this new place that I have had no
desire, as of yet, to leave.

It seems as if here all polarities have become one. I am desperately lonely, and yet, simultaneously, very
content and at peace. I love this place, yet simultaneously, I hate it. The longer I am here the more I am
losing the phenomenon of emotion. I am now realizing that a sense of opposition is necessary for the
experience of emotion. Also, I have realized that, at least for me, emotion and desire are interwoven.

Perhaps that is why I am still here. I want to be here, but I also don't want to be here. As my emotions
are reaching a balance, so are my desires. Therefore, I cannot guess if I will stay or leave this place. With
emotion and desire gradually leaving my life, I have no sense of what will replace them. Perhaps, in this
place, a replacement is not necessary.

Many things are not necessary here, as there is no separation. As I watch a flower and put my attention
upon it, I suddenly become the flower. However, I am still simultaneously myself. Myself? What is that
now? Before, myself was what I felt or what I wanted, or what I thought. Now there is little distinction
between these three aspects.

As I think, I am, so there is no desire as there is no separation from "wanting" and "having". With no
separation there is no possession and, therefore, no possessor and no need to be possessed. On earth
there was a strong distinction between thoughts and feelings, but here they are one. On earth I could
think about my emotions or think to hide my emotions or I could have an emotion about a thought.
Often, if I were very emotional, I would be unable to think at all. Here I am losing that distinction.

Also, I feel I am losing the ability to communicate in this fashion- to separate each thought into a word
and put the words in a line. I feel I must write this quickly while I still remember this mode of
communication. As I said before, here one communicates by communing.

There is a small flying creature here, but, as I said before, the creatures do not move. Therefore, by
flying I mean that the creature lives in the air. If I want to know how it feels to live in the air or speak to
this creature, I simply put my attention on to it. Then we are one. It is difficult to explain how this
happens. I am still standing on the ground watching the creature, but also I am in the air watching
myself. It is somewhat like an earth dream where I am a participant and an observer.

Just as the creatures do not move here, neither do I. I simply am here, and then I am there. But it is
different from being "here" or "there" on earth, as there are no real boundaries here. I see a form
around me, but I am not limited by it. I suppose I could change forms, but I am still clinging to my earth

I am comfortable with it and will need it if I desire to return. "Desire," I'm not sure what that means
now. That word has become very abstract and meaningless. Many things that had such meaning on
Earth are now unimportant.

Food is not necessary here. Nothing seems to eat, including me. I've experienced no hunger or thirst and
have not made or eliminated any waste material. In fact, here there is no waste material. There is no
decay. Everything is perfect and beautiful, and then, suddenly, it is gone and replaced by something

There are many flowers and trees, but I have not found one dead leaf or flower. The leaves do not fall
on the ground but stay on the trees. The flowers do not grow but appear suddenly full and mature.
Then, suddenly, they are gone.

There is no need for a home here as I need no shelter or protection. I also do not need a place to sleep,
as I do not sleep here. I have not slept yet and feel no fatigue. My energy is constant and balanced. In
fact, all is balanced. There is a room for everything, and yet there is infinite space and there is a sense of
total intimacy with the world, yet, simultaneously, a sense of complete isolation.

The beings I have met so far are not at all like me. I mean they appear more like animals and plants. I
have not yet experienced a being that "feels" like a human. My earth vocabulary is very inept to explain
these phenomenons. I don't know what a "human-like" being would be here, yet somehow I know I
have not met one.

Perhaps it is time now to meet one. Again the language of earth is incomplete here. I cannot say it is
"time" to meet someone. Here, there is no time, and one cannot meet another, as we are all one. As I
say these words, I am beginning to experience someone inside me, yet outside of me, that "feels"
human. I wish it would take on a body. It is too difficult for me to understand a being without a body.

"Oh, hello, are you a human being?" I ask.

The being laughs. At first I am hurt just for a moment, then the emotion disappears. I can no longer hold
on to emotions, they come now more as a memory than as an experience.

"My name, I think, is Jay," I say.

"Here we have no names," it replies, "but we will make one so that you can be more comfortable. How
do you feel about Rhea?" it asks telepathically.
"It is nice," I say, still using my voice.

"You know," it says, "here you need not strain your vehicle by producing those sounds. We know what
you wish to communicate with us."

"I have so many questions to ask you. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, that is why we are here."

"First," I ask now telepathically, "why do I feel more separation from you than when I commune with the
other creatures?"

"Oh, the answer is because you asked for it. When we first communicated with you, we were
communing, but you still need the separation."

"That is true," I reply. It felt very unusual when you first came. Why did I not feel the need to be
separate from the others, but I do need to feel separate from you?"

"My, my, you do have many questions. You need to learn that here you also have the answers."

This idea is very foreign to me. I mean, on Earth I knew I had an intuition, and I was told I could find my
own answers, however, I didn't really believe it. I was constantly reading and studying and finding the
answers. Even when I would meditate, or pray, it was to someone else.

I now vaguely remember one meditation I had on another beach where I was told to pray, not to God,
but to my Higher Self. But even a Higher Self was separate from my Earth body. As I realized I knew the
answers and I forgot all the questions I was going to ask, I merely said, "Would you show me around?"

"Where would you like to go? As you know, there is no movement here, so we can't give you a tour as
one would on Earth."

"Well then, perhaps you can show me what people do here."

Again it laughs. "Here we don't do, we are. But we think we know what you mean."

In an instant we are in a huge cave, I can feel the energy of many beings but can only see patterns
swirling about the room.

"What are they doing?" I ask.

"They are communing. These beings are learning what you will soon learn."

"What is that?" I ask anxiously pointing to the swirling energy.

"More questions, wait. The answers will become evident as you are ready to experience them."

I look around the cave and see the many different energy forms moving about. I wonder if they have
bodies or if that is all there is of them. I feel their humanness although they are not human. There is,
however, something about them that make me realize that I am one of them. I ask my guide what I am
to do next and it says, "Join them."

"How can I do that, I can barely see them."

"Barely is good enough," it answers. "Just go forward and listen with your heart, they will know you and
tell you what to do."

I then walk on or, rather, am drawn to the center of their group. Suddenly I know I am to follow a small
light to some destination. As I follow the light I find myself moving, for the first time, down a hall.

The small light gets brighter and brighter as I move. I begin to realize that the light is a Being. As I realize
this it moves forward to greet me. I then feel the most euphoric feeling I can ever remember. I am the
Being and it is I.

"Come," I hear a voice say within and without of myself. "There is something that you will need to

As the light and I move to the end of the hall, we enter a large room filled with many other specks of
light. Some of these lights appear to have vague bodies about them and others do not. I now notice that
my body is much lighter than before and that it has taken on a translucent quality.

I search within and around me to determine the core of this light being so that I can ask about my body,
when I suddenly hear a very loving answer,

"Yes, my dear, your body has changed. It has taken on a very high vibratory rate and, therefore, does
not appear as dense as before. Do not worry. Many answers will come if you are willing to listen before
you ask. This room," it continues, "is filled with beings like yourself who have come to learn about Truth.
The radiant light being who is now speaking is a member of the higher dimensions and is called Lady
Leto. Listen now and you shall hear."

I position myself at the back of the room where I can hear a pure luminous inner voice that I somehow
know is radiating from the being, Lady Leto. I know that she is speaking to all of us who are gathered
here, but, at the same time, she is speaking to each of us in a deeply intimate and personal manner.

"Beloved ones,

"I, Lady Leto, address you with a love that is free of all illusion. I am joyous that you have found your way
here to participate in this process of releasing and protecting yourself from illusion. But, before you can
do so, you must first understand what illusion is. An illusion is like a cocoon that you create around and
within yourself while you are growing your wings and learning how to fly.

"How do you create these illusions? Some illusions were learned from your authority figures when you
were a child and others you created yourself from your fear-- fear of the unknown. When you are in a
situation that you do not know whether you can face, you create an overlay of that situation of
something that you believe is easier to deal with.

This process begins with insecurity in your ability to stand strong in any situation. You then 'desire' the
situation to be a certain way, a way in which you feel more comfortable. Then that desire progresses
into an 'expectation'. The expectation then directs your 'perception'.

"There are always a myriad of possibilities in any situation and you will perceive those which you desire
and expect to experience. If you go for a walk in the woods and you desire and expect to see birds, you
will unconsciously search them out and put your attention upon them. If you desire and expect to see
litter, you will search it out and see mainly that. The truth is that both the birds and the litter coexist and
you choose your reality by your desires, expectations, and consequent perceptions.

"You may ask, 'Why would someone desire to see litter while walking in the woods or desire any
negative experience?' The answer is - habit. You have learned to feel safe with what is known and
unsafe with what is unknown. If you have grown up with negativity in your environment, you have
learned to feel safe in it. It is all you know and therefore you 'expect' negativity because you 'desire' the
known rather than the unknown.

"You may believe that illusion is a problem you have in correctly identifying your outer world. This is
true, of course, but illusions about the world around you are merely reflections of illusions that you built
within yourself from your opinions, fears, insecurities, and attachments. These inner impurities were
created by your past environment and project a reality that seems 'as if' it were something else.

“You create this 'as if' reality because it is from your 'known' and therefore feels safer. Then you view
life from this apparent reality and make decisions according to that viewpoint and not according to the
viewpoint of a peaceful, illumined mind and a loving heart.

“If you can journey inside yourself to address and heal these impurities, you can regain your inherent
memory of the Truth. This Truth can provide a safety beyond any illusion, for it is projected from your
Higher Self rather than from the fears and traumas of your childhood and ego.

"At Our etheric Focus over Delos, we are working closely with the forces of Truth and Understanding led
by Lady Pallas Athena, the Goddess of Truth, Master Hilarion, the Chohan of the Fifth Ray of Truth and
Healing and the Great Sun God, Apollo. In actuality, our Council is a Branch of The Lodge of Brothers and
Sisters of the Golden Robe. Allow me to explain how we can assist you in understanding how to release
and protect yourself from illusion.

"The process of becoming a full God Being involves the subtle lessons of balancing the feminine and
masculine nature of God (in breath/ out breath; yin/ yang; assimilation/radiation; love/ power). This
balancing of inner (feminine) and outer (masculine) realities can best be achieved when you are able to
be conscious of both of these aspects of yourselves.

“Once you have become aware of these portions of yourself, you can then learn to balance them in both
your 'waking' (masculine) and 'sleeping' (feminine) life. The more conscious you become of learning
these lessons of balance of personal energy, the sooner will your Spiritual Selves be able to master the
Mind. This learning of balance flourishes all the more when enough purification of the inner nature has
occurred to remove learned and self-created illusion.

"Two important gifts have been granted to mankind to speed this evolutionary process. The first is the
conscious connection of mankind to the Ascended Masters, such as us. These Masters have trod the
path of evolution through many Earth embodiments, and are therefore able to understand and assist
each of you in your inner journey to Mastery.

"The second gift is that of the Violet Fire of Transmutation. This Violet Fire is an inner activity that is
available to any direct call. The Violet Fire is a Spiritual Force of very high vibration. All imperfection that
is absorbed within this light shall be released to the Original Source to be purified and later redistributed
into the Universe. All that survives the Violet Fire is assured to be of only the highest vibratory rate and
is therefore, Divine Truth and Perfection. With this 'tool' of transmutation, you can quickly separate
truth from illusion. You may summon the use of this Fire by the affirmation:



"The Sisters and Brothers of Delos will assist you in the process of balancing your inner and outer lives
by removing one veil of illusion from your inner consciousness for thirty consecutive days. With the
removal of each veil they will gently reveal to you the Truth and Understanding of each of these

Think of it, thirty veils of illusion lifted from your inner nature to clear your spiritual awareness, a major
lesson each day. On the thirty-first day, we shall present ourselves at the Elemental Harvest Celebration,
where the elements that make up your own inner vehicle may present their gifts of heightened progress
and purity to the Lord of the World.

"Each day, this ceremony of purification will begin by your being led into a Circle of White Light where
two Sisters from my focus of Truth, almost formless in their pink radiance, will help you to release each
'veil' from your inner world.

“Then two Brothers outside of the Circle will further assist you. The Brother from Hilarion's focus shall
project the Truth concerning each 'veil' that is necessary for your.

“Then the Brother from Apollo's focus shall assist you in manifesting the power of Understanding of this
Truth in your outer mind. I will further aid you in remembering this inner ceremony in your outer
consciousness. Pay attention to the lessons learned this month. Use the Violet Fire to set free all shadow
so that nothing can distract you from this service to your life.

"Enfolding you like a mother protecting her child from danger, I shall stand guard over your Spiritual
development so that you can feel safe. I shall not rest until each of you are free in the Reality of eternal
Peace within the 'I AM Consciousness'."

When the great Lady finishes her inspirational speech, I feel a ripple of love and unity throughout the
group. I search again for my guide to ask what I am to do when I hear a voice from within.

"Yes, my dear, you have been invited to partake in this ceremony. However, you must be willing to
return to Earth between each lesson so that you can ground it in your physical garment and your
physical life. Are you willing to do so?"

"Well," I say slowly, "I can't say I'm anxious to return to that land of boxes, but I do feel very inspired by
the words of Lady Leto. I suppose if I can learn to truly understand what she said, my life there will be
much happier."

"Is that a yes, my one?"

"Yes," I say, "that is a yes. And I hope I am not sorry."

"Remember, my dear," she kindly replies "that any effort put into the advancement of your Soul shall be
forever a portion of your Being. When you go to sleep each night, call to us and we shall see that you
return here."

"Must I leave now?" I ask. But, even as I speak, I feel the room fading about me as I begin to feel heavier
and heavier.

VEIL ONE "The Illusion of Time is Money"

"Oh my, I am back." As I was leaving I was afraid I would not return, but I'm here now. However, I don't
know where I was before. I know my guide said I was to return to Earth, but I don't remember anything

"Hello, my one." I hear the familiar voice of my guide.

"I know that many do not use names here." I say, "But, if I had a name to call you, it would help me."

"Why, of course. You may call me Lady Astrea. I have been assigned to answer your call and I will remain
as your guide as long as you need me," she answers. (I had always felt her as very feminine, but it is
difficult to determine one's polarity and sex without a visible body.)

"It is your turn to enter the Circle now. Please, follow me," she asks, as if I could deny her request. Since
she is within me as much as outside of me, I don't know how I could resist following her even if I wanted
to. We move through another hallway and I feel my body, what there is of it, grow lighter, and lighter as
we move towards a golden door at the end of the hall.
"In the future you shall arrive at the other side of the door. But, for the first time, you will need to arrive
here so that you can adjust yourself gradually to this higher vibration. Take a slow, deep breath now and
prepare yourself before the door opens, for on the other side the vibration is very high."

I do as she says, and as the door opens, I feel as if a huge fire is beginning to flame before me. I shield
my eyes and cling to the walls of the hall. Because I am losing all sense of direction, I no longer know
what is up or down or if I am standing, sitting or lying down. For the first time in this place, I feel

I experience an intense buzzing in my ears and a profound sense of dizziness and nausea. I can see
nothing and can hear only the buzzing. I feel as if I am on fire from within. I am frozen to the spot at the
same time that I feel like I am moving at the speed of light. I can't think, or talk, or even feel. Why am I
here? What have I committed myself to? Surely this is death!

"No, my love, you will not die. Only the parts of you that are unwilling to change will die because here a
commitment made is a commitment lived. Any portion of you that is unable to continue will mercifully
be released. Do not resist this process. Instead hold on to that which remains and trust. Most of all, my
one, trust."

At first I am surprised that I can hear her words over the intense buzzing, but as I listen it gives me
something to hold on to and I begin to find a comfort in this new way of being. However, I still cannot
speak and would not know what to say if I could. Therefore, I am blindly following her, still being able to
see very little in this brilliant light. Into the center of the room we move, where the light is even
stronger, and there appears to be a circle formed of this light. I follow my guide, hearing dimly over the
eternal buzzing, "Trust, above all, you must Trust."

As I step into the circle, I find I am alone-totally and completely alone. However, this aloneness does not
cause the old familiar fear, but rather commands a deep and complete stillness. Stillness beyond
anything I can ever remember experiencing. Suddenly, two beautiful Ladies dressed in a pink radiance
appear from somewhere within the circle and move towards me. They gently remove an unseen veil
from my face.

They move to the periphery of the circle and I hear the voice of Lady Leto saying, "Beloved, the first veil
is the illusion of 'Time is Money'. Time and money are both only important on the third dimensional
Earth and are therefore great foundations for illusion. Neither has any value to your inner world. The
formula for this illusion is based on the belief that: one must have money to survive-it takes time to
make money-therefore, only so much time can be expended on inner work as time must be spent on
making money for survival."

The brother from Hilarion's temple then takes the veil and as he does so I hear a familiar voice saying,
"The truth, of course, my one, is that time, as you know it on Earth, exists only on the third dimension.
This is true as well for money. Time is an alignment of thoughts and actions, which is necessary to
motivate one while on Earth. In effect, time is a mode of transportation whereby one can move
throughout one's Earth classes. Money is a barter of exchange, which has come to represent value and,
therefore, success on Earth.

"In the Oneness of the fifth dimension, no exchange or reward is necessary because all live in Unity. We
do not experience the feeling of separation that is so pronounced on Earth and, therefore, we have no
need to form these symbols of exchange and reward. When there is unity of heart and mind, there is no
greater reward, and nothing is requested in exchange for Unconditional Love."

"Please," I add quickly, suddenly finding my voice, "may I ask why it is that your voice feels so familiar to

"Why yes," comes the answer, "I am Hilarion and I have spoken with you many times in answer to your
inner call. I am pleased you have come to the ceremony and I will gladly answer any questions which
you have."

Hilarion then gives the veil of illusion to the brother from the Retreat of Mighty Apollo who releases this
veil back to the first cause to be transmuted into pure Light.

"Allow me to introduce you to Apollo himself," says Hilarion. "He will assist you in understanding each
veil of Illusion as it is removed."

"Good morning, one, I am glad to make your acquaintance. Our energies have not connected before
today. I am glad you have called upon the Understanding of the One. 'Time is Money', is a lovely Earth
illusion, one which is especially prevalent in the western world.

“It is also an illusion that is particular to the third dimension. Upon the fourth dimension, there is still
time but it is different than on the third dimension. What could be years upon the physical plane could
be minutes upon the astral plane. The astral plane is another name for the fourth dimension, just as the
physical plane is another name for the third dimension.

"Within the time era in which your physical form lives, there is a wonderful moment of transition. The
third dimension is collapsing into the fourth dimension. Think now of a collapsible travel cup with the
smallest portion of the cup at the bottom. Therefore, the bottom of the cup collapses into the portion of
the cup just above it, which is a bit larger. Much like the travel cup, the third dimension will collapse into
the fourth dimension. Nothing will cease to exist. However, a new vibration will surround the third

"Within the reality of the third dimension, time is money for the reasons stated above. However, in the
fourth dimension, passage of time is dependent upon one's activity. Time is most enjoyable and passes
most rapidly and easily when one is enjoying an artistic endeavor.

“Therefore, upon the fourth dimension, 'time is art'. Allow yourself to feel the enjoyment of artistic
activity in whatever form you wish. Remember, no matter how much money one has, one cannot buy
time. Therefore, spend your time wisely and with joy."

As the scene dims before me, I realize I am returning to Earth. The last words I remember before losing
consciousness are something about not having time for myself, as I put so much of my attention on
other peoples' lives instead of my own...

VEIL TWO "The Illusion of Sorrow"

This time the dizziness and buzzing are a little easier to bear. However, it seems to take forever before I
can accustom to this intense light. Gradually, I can see the circle before me and I can feel Lady Astrea
gently reminding me that it is my time to enter the circle.

Again, the Ladies come to me and remove an unseen veil and, as they do so, I hear the voice of Lady
Leto from within saying, "This veil is the "Illusion of Sorrow'. As you may recall from your life challenges,
the theme is again and again the loss of love and the resulting sorrow. Know my one that love can never
die. It may change or move to a higher vibration, but it cannot die. Once the energy of love has been
formed on earth, the creator of that energy has made a lifelong friend. For, to be creators of love is the
major earth lesson for all of mankind."

As the Brothers of Hilarion's retreat take the veil, I hear Hilarion's voice saying, "The energy field of Love
acts energetically as a shield. When you become a master of energy, you will be able to see Love energy
in any environment. Love energy is different from all other energy fields. Other energies leave the aura
of the creator and begin their traverse throughout the realities, which is eventually terminated in their
three-fold return to the creator.

“Love energy, of course, also leaves the creator, but it leaves a small portion of itself with the creator as
a shield of protection. This is because Love is very attractive and adhesive. It clings to all that it comes in
contact with. Love is the most powerful energy force known on the planet earth, with Divine Love being
the highest."

I then hear the voice of Apollo, "Dear one, good morning again. How you have suffered in this life! How
you have felt unloved and unlovable! The sorrow that has come to you from the illusion of loss of Love
has been your most difficult life lesson. As you know from your individual karma in other lives, you have
tended not to value your loved ones and have instead focused your energies elsewhere. Because of that
pattern you have 'feared' your karmic retribution of loss of Love and, my dear one, as you know, 'Fear

"Know now in your heart of hearts that love can never die. Love always remains with the Soul of the
lover and the loved ones. Love is a Soul quality and, therefore, rises eventually to the level of Soul. Even
if the being is to die, it does not matter because the Love shall automatically be passed up to the one's
higher body. Remember that there is no true sorrow, as there is no true separation. Separation is the
ultimate illusion, particular to the planet Earth. On the Sun, we are all one.

"Remember now that your feelings of sorrow are truly loneliness for Home. This loneliness for Home is a
Divine Discontent. Allow Divine Discontent to guide you into your spiritual heart. Use this illusion. Feel
the sorrow and carry it to your Heart. Set it at the feet of the Oneness where your Soul will mop your
brow and touch your heart. The One awaits your gift. The giving is your treasure."

With Apollo's mighty words I feel myself fading and know that I am now returning to earth...

VEIL THREE "The Illusion of Hard Work"

As I awaken, I find myself inside the golden room with the door open behind me. Actually, I suppose I
have fallen asleep, but since I do not remember Earth while I am here, it feels more like I am awakening
when I return. I wonder if I remember any of this when I am awake on Earth. I have no way of knowing,
as I cannot remember anything other than what is happening to me while I am here.

I will have to ask Lady Astrea about that sometime, but now I feel it is my turn to enter the Circle. Each
time it becomes easier for me to bear the increased vibration. I wonder if this activity changes my earth
body as much as it changes this one.

Again, the Ladies come to remove yet another Veil as I hear the voice of Lady Leto saying, "The Veil we
lift now is the 'Illusion of Hard Work'. Work is another aspect that is particular to Earth existence. 'Work'
is an activity that became necessary to man only after he had fallen from grace. This fact is because
Work, by definition, is based on resistance. Therefore, it was an unknown concept when man was living
in his Divine Plan free of all resistance."

As the Ladies carry the veil to the Brothers, I hear the voice of Master Hilarion, "The energy field of work
is something to behold. If mankind could see this energy, it is doubtful that they would ever indulge in
the activity. Many molecules are moving towards each other in dissonant patterns. It is no wonder that
mankind often experiences fatigue.

“In fact, the basis of human 'aging' is the concept and activity of Work. Whenever one indulges in a
given energy field, their personal energy field becomes aligned with it. Therefore, they move into a
vortex of energy in which many molecules are colliding with each other. Each individual molecule tries
to either hold its position or infringe on another's position. This constant energy battle dissipates one's
vital forces. As one's vital forces are dissipated, his/her physical body is robbed of vital healing nutrients.

“Therefore, for these minutes or seconds that the physical body is denied its life force, it begins to 'die'.
Then, the worker will cease the work and begin to rest. At this time the body can be healed and
replenished. However, some cells are irretrievably damaged and, hence, the body dies bit by bit.

"Yoga is a very important discipline for one to follow as it floods the body with many life giving nutrients
and moves these nutrients systematically throughout the body. In the ascended state, all movement is
like that of a great yoga master. There is no physical illusion of separation and, therefore, each
movement, thought, and feeling is a flow of Divine Force channeling throughout one's individuality."

As the other Brothers take the veil, I hear Apollo say: "Throughout the centuries, 'Work' and 'bravery'
have been associated. I am particularly familiar with this Earth connection, as many warriors have called
to me for bravery throughout the ages. Work and bravery are connected because bravery in its ultimate
is to face death and as Mighty Hilarion has spoken Work is indeed a slow form of death.

“However, on the cusp of one's ascension, one begins to associate death with birth and birth with death.
When this association happens, bravery also takes on a new meaning. Bravery then comes to represent
courage, not in facing death, but instead, courage in facing Life.

"Indeed, much bravery is necessary to live victoriously in your land of illusion. Therefore, my one,
continue with your journey into a new state of awareness. Call on me for bravery to face Illusion, call on
all your forces, and feel them coursing throughout your physical body. Eventually the Illusion of Work
will fade and be replaced by the truth of living the Divine Work, free of resistance, and in ultimate
freedom, you may then live the creation of the New World. Welcome!"

Again, the dimming and fading is experienced. This fading is not only of what I see but also of who I am.
If only I could know that I am remembering and using this information on Earth. Perhaps this experience
is all for nothing. Perhaps I go back to Earth and do, think, and feel exactly as always. If only I could
remember and use what I learn here. Oh, I am leaving. I feel like I am dying...

VEIL FOUR "The Illusion of Question"

Where am I? Oh yes, I am here. I see the door behind me and I see Lady Astrea to my right. Perhaps I
can ask her now about why I don't remember my Earth life while I am here.

But, before I can formulate the question, I hear her saying, "Dear, you will know when you remember
this experience on Earth when you can remember your Earth life while you are here. Be patient with
yourself. It is very difficult to live two realities at once, and your High Self will determine when you are

High Self? What is she talking about? Does she mean that there is even more of me than my waking and
sleeping self? I am even more confused now than I was before I asked the question, but now I must
enter the Circle. I hope I can remember to ask her about that "High Self".

I am entering the Circle and, as I do so, I feel like I am coming Home. The two dear Ladies appear as if
from nowhere and lovingly release another veil and I hear the voice of Lady Leto. It appears that she,
too, heard my question as she says, "Last evening the work was very deep and you were unable to carry
any of it to your outside mind. Know that seeing the connection between the inside and the outside is
sometimes dependent on your fortitude. In this case, it was better not to remember the night's work so
that you could rest.

This evening the Ladies have lifted the "Illusion of Question'. To question is to feel the separation
between yourself and the ultimate source. To question is to put one's consciousness into human
consciousness to ask of a higher or another source. On this side of the veil, we are living in a constant
state of knowing.

All divine information is so readily within our grasp that we can easily attune to whatever is appropriate.
Also, on the spirit level, we are not obligated to attune to only one thing. I can personally attend to you
while I just as personally attend to all others who are also calling me this day."

As the veil is given to the brother, Hilarion speaks, "I can see, my One, that you are 'questioning' this
concept. This, of course, is part of the reason why you were unable to bring forward any of the work of
last evening. I will try to explain this to you.

“To you particularly, questioning has been an important part of your growth. Questioning is a lot like
wanting. Wanting denotes that you do not already have and, this wanting pulls one out of the cosmic
flow of All in All. Questioning acts in much the same manner. When you question, there is an underlying
energy field that denotes that you do not already know. This separates you from the Universal Mind.

"To release the Illusion of Questioning, one would instead Unify. When you Unify with the Universal
Mind, no questioning is necessary as your mind is united with the Universal Mind. Then, the information
desired can be collected just as it is "collected" from your physical brain. Dear one, try not to question
this concept, but rather take a moment to experience the difference. First, ask yourself a question, then
Unify. As you have seen, to question dissects your consciousness into individual words and concepts. To
Unify, however, opens you to all answers simultaneously."

As the other Brothers take the veil, Apollo speaks, "The opposite polarity of questioning is
understanding, because you do not have to question if you have grasped what was said. We have
unified with your consciousness and, therefore, know exactly what you need us to say to you to further
your Understanding.

“The basis of questioning is insecurity and impatience. Insecurity comes from the illusion of space
because one is insecure in one's supposed separation from All That IS. Impatience comes from the
illusion of time. Therefore, space and time are interrelated in questioning. As you transcend both space
and time, the illusion of separation (space) and the human quality of impatience (time) are also

With mighty Apollo's final words I instead feel the "pull" back into space and time. No, no, I don't wish to
re-enter yet. I have more questions...

She didn't understand a lot,

but she knew that
something was different.

Not something obvious,

oh no, it was very subtle.

It felt like a small,

still feeling deep within.
Perhaps, just perhaps, deep within
where there had always been pain and hunger

something like satisfaction

was beginning to take root.

Something like satisfaction

only because she didn't really know
how satisfaction felt,
never having experienced it.

Always, she had needed more.

Nothing had ever been enough

because nothing had ever soothed
the constant pain and hunger
that clawed at her unconscious mind.

Now, she was beginning to realize

that she was trying
to ease the pain from the outside
when it really existed on the inside

where nothing and no one external to her

could touch or heal the wound
that festered deep inside.

And so, she must heal herself.

Could she?

Could she actually find alone

what no one else could find for her?

No one, that is, on the outside.

Inside was another world,

another reality.

Inside is where she had always lived

and always longed to return.

Often she had hated the outside world

because it seemed to keep her from herself.

And what was there out there anyway?

which had only caused her pain.

which seemed to mean only more money
to cause more pain.

And Love.
Yes, the Love was why she stayed.

Without the Love she would have

retreated deep inside long ago.

Without the Love she would have

left the outside world,
left it and never turned around.

But, although she didn't understand,

and although it often hurt,
she stayed for the Love.

Maybe now the Love without

and the Love within could unite.

Imagine the glory of that.

Imagine a path of Love

leading back and forth
from the heart of her inner world
to the heart of her outer world.

This road could connect the

two portions of her that had
always seemed to be at war.

If her inner and outer worlds

were truly united,
she would find Peace,
she would BE Peace.

And then,
yes then,
she could help others.

There are seven sub-planes of the fourth dimension. Each sub-plane resonates to a different frequency.
The higher sub-planes resonate to higher frequencies and the lower sub-planes resonate to lower
frequencies. With the highest frequency planes on the top, the planes are:

Causal/Spiritual Plane=abstract thought and the Higher Human form

Mental Plane=concrete thought and lower mind
Astral/Emotional Plane=emotions
Kingdom of Faerie=imagination, rest and recreation
Lower Astral Plane=fear and negative emotions
Etheric Plane=interface between third and fourth dimensions

Each of the sub-planes within the fourth dimension has its own corresponding degree of materiality and
condition of matter. In fact, within each sub-plane there are different frequency realities that are of
gradually ascending vibratory rates.

For example, the Astral/Emotional Plane has many sub-planes within it ranging from a lower vibration
where there is more fear than love to a higher vibration where there is more love than fear. However,
these different planes are not separate like books piled on a bookshelf. Each sub-plane penetrates the
one just above it and below it.

All of the fourth dimensional realities overlap. The higher dimensional realities extend further from
earth and the lower dimensional realities are closer to earth. In fact, the lower astral sub-planes are
actually here on the surface of the earth but are of a higher vibration.

However, because the fourth dimension is "out of phase" with our third dimensional perceptions, we
are not consciously aware of it. As people begin to raise their consciousness, their perceptions will
gradually become receptive to a reality of a higher frequency. Then they begin to see and hear what
others do not. This can be very disturbing to one who has no guidance.


The inner worlds of the fourth dimension are as vast and limitless as our imagination. However, the
fourth dimension is NOT just our imagination, it is very real. Within us is the latent power to perceive,
respond to and travel through this dimension. We all have "bodies" upon each of the fourth dimensional
sub-planes in which we travel. That means that, whether we are aware of it or not, we all have an
etheric body, an astral/emotional body, a mental body, a causal/spiritual body, which is our I AM
Presence, and a life in Faerie.

Whenever we are incarnated on the third dimension, all of these higher bodies are also "alive" and serve
as our "mirror" and support team. When we travel in the fourth dimension, we do so in the body that
resonates to that sub-plane or a higher one. In other words, we can travel through the Astral Plane in
our astral body or in our mental or causal bodies.

It is best to travel the lower sub-planes in our higher frequency bodies, as we may need the greater light
of our higher bodies to serve as protection. This protection is especially needed in the Lower Astral
Plane. The light and love of our higher dimensional bodies is the greatest protection from the darkness
and fear of the lower astral sub-planes.


Moving from one sub-plane to another, it is not like moving on 3D Earth. Instead, we need to think in
terms of transferring our consciousness from one reality to another. When we transfer our
consciousness to another reality, we gradually become less responsive to the perceptions of the reality
we are in and more responsive to the perceptions of the reality to which we are traveling.

We have all had this experience as we slowly drift off to sleep. First we are more aware of the physical
world, and then, slowly, without our realizing it, we have flashes of a "dream." Often these flashes
come while we are still awake. Eventually, the physical world is perceived in flashes, and our dream
world becomes predominant.

This same process occurs when we meditate. Through meditation we can raise our consciousness to a
higher vibration by focusing our awareness on the higher dimensions.


We navigate through the fourth dimension by combining our feelings/emotions and

intentions/thoughts. Our feelings and intentions create a corresponding frequency of consciousness.

The higher states of consciousness resonate to a higher frequency, whereas the lower states of
consciousness resonate to a lower frequency. It is our state of consciousness that creates our
expectations. Our expectations then direct our perceptions to experience the reality in which that our
state of consciousness believes.

For example, if we are feeling bliss and joy, our consciousness will raise to a high frequency. In this state
of consciousness we will expect to experience love and harmony. Our expectations will then set our
perceptions for that frequency. We will then experience the reality that vibrates to the frequency of that
state of consciousness, expectations, and consequent perceptions.
On the other hand, if we are angry and afraid, our consciousness will lower. From this level of
consciousness we will expect struggle and strife. Our perceptions will then calibrate to that frequency,
and we will experience that reality.

This dynamic also applies to traveling through the various levels of the third dimension. There are many
different third dimensional realities resonating to different octaves/frequencies of the 3D reality, just as
there are different octaves of the 4D reality.

Our states of consciousness set our beliefs about what we expect from life. Then, our expectations
calibrate our perceptions to perceive that which fits into those beliefs. Our experience of life is dictated
by the frequency to which our perceptions are calibrated.

A street person has a "survival" state of consciousness. They expect to be cold, hungry, and alone.
Therefore, their perceptions are focused on gathering food and finding shelter.

On the other hand, a self-realized person has learned how to survive in the world comfortably enough to
have time and energy to pursue spiritual, artistic, and philosophical endeavors. They expect to have a,
enough food, and friends with whom they can share their interests. They perceive a lovely day for a
hike, a new play at their favorite theater, and the current activities of the stock market.

A self-realized person and a street person could be standing side by side and be realities apart. Just as
the realities in the third dimension range from the street person to the of a self-realized person, the
realities within the fourth dimension range from the Lower Astral Plane to the Causal/Spiritual Plane.


Even though we navigate the fourth dimension by combining our feelings and intentions, if they are not
in sync with the frequency to which we wish to travel, we will not arrive at that plane.

For example, if we intend to go to the Causal Plane, but we are feeling afraid, that fear will limit our
vibratory rate, and hence, our consciousness. Consequently, it will be more likely that we will find
ourselves in the lower to mid astral sub-planes than in the Causal Plane.

Our intention also directs our destination. If we travel into the Astral/Emotional Plane with the intention
of harming another, our level of consciousness will resonate to the Lower Astral Plane where fear and
anger abound.

On the other hand, if we enter the Astral/Emotional Plane with the intention of service and love, our
level of consciousness will resonate to the higher astral sub-planes where there is more love and light.

If we travel into the fourth dimension with the intention of learning more cosmic truth and
communicating with higher beings, our consciousness will resonate to the Mental and/or the Causal
Plane where illumination awaits us.
Of course, raising our consciousness to the higher fourth dimensional realities is not an easy task. It
requires much training, discipline, and most of all, LOVE.


The fourth dimension begins here on earth and extends thousands of miles beyond the surface into the
ionosphere. The higher in altitude that we travel in the third dimension, as well as the higher we raise
our consciousness that we travel in the fourth dimension, the more rarified and less dense the
environment becomes.

There is less matter and more light in the higher altitudes of the third dimension and less fear and more
love in the higher frequencies of the fourth dimension. Therefore, in order to travel to the higher planes
of the fourth dimension, we must be able to fill ourselves with love. In other words, we must be able to
love ourselves, for how can we fill ourselves with love if we cannot love ourselves?

Matter limits the vibratory rate of physical elements to make them denser, and fear limits the vibratory
rate of non-physical elements to make them denser. For example, the element of earth is solid. It holds
the most matter within it, is the densest, and has the lowest vibration.

The next element up in vibration is water, which is liquid. Water holds less matter than the earth
element, is less dense and has a faster vibration. Finally, the element of air is gaseous, has the least
density and the fastest vibration.

In order to raise our consciousness high enough to travel to the higher planes, we must go deep within
ourselves. We can consciously love ourselves enough to travel into some portions of the Astral Plane,
but in order to travel into the higher planes we must also love ourselves from DEEP within our

This inner love means that we love ALL that we have been and ALL that we have experienced. If we
cannot love ourselves in this fashion we will not be able to release enough fear to raise our vibration,
and therefore our consciousness, above the mid-astral sub-planes.


The transformation of our consciousness can be likened the transformation of water boiling in a pan.
First the water is room temperature and the molecules move relatively slowly. When the fire beneath
the pan heats the water, the molecules move faster and faster until the water boils. When the water
boils, portions of it become steam and rise into the air. If the pan is not removed from the fire, all the
water will then transform into steam and the pan will become "empty."

Metaphorically, the pan is like our body, the fire is like our rising Kundalini, and the water is like our
consciousness. Just as the pan and fire remain on the stove, our physical body remains on the earth
while we transfer our awareness to the higher bodies. If the empty pan were to remain on the fire, it
would begin to degrade without the water to protect it from the fire. Our physical bodies would also
degrade if all of our consciousness left. Our consciousness is our life force. It is the pilot of our earth
vessel. Without the pilot, the "vessel" would crash.

As a skyscraper must have a deep foundation in order to reach high into the sky, we must be deeply
rooted in the physical earth to raise our consciousness into the higher dimensions. It is love for
ourselves and for the planet that affords us that grounding. The more intimately we can love ourselves,
the higher in consciousness we can travel. Love is the antidote to the fear that lowers our vibration and
limits our consciousness.


The Lower Astral Plane is the lowest sub-plane of the fourth dimension. It lies partly on the surface of
the earth and partly, perhaps mostly, beneath the surface of the earth. Remember that the fourth
dimension is "out of phase" with our physical sense organs, and it is not perceivable to our third
dimensional consciousness.

The Lower Astral Plane is filled with the emotions of fear, anger, sorrow, guilt, and pain. These negative
emotions lower the vibration of this plane and diminish its light. Vision here is like looking through an
infrared camera where the only colors are black, gray, and dirty red.

The Lower Astral Plane is not imaginary. It does have an objective existence. It is not evil of itself but
instead resonates to and reflects the evil within those who visit it. If we were to calm our fear with love,
we would take on a higher frequency astral body. Then we could safely travel through the Lower Astral
Plane to assist its poor inhabitants. In fact, many spiritual people give the service of Lower Astral "rescue


The inhabitants of the astral sub-planes above the Lower Astral Plane see the same earth that we see in
the third dimension. However, the enhanced perceptions of the astral body allow the traveler to
perceive much more. With our astral vision, we can see the outer appearance as it is seen on the third
dimension. However we can also see the etheric body, the aura, and the prana that is circulating over,
under, around and through the life forms and objects. In fact, on the fourth dimension it becomes
apparent that ALL "objects" have a life force.

As we move into the higher realities of the Astral/Emotional Plane it is much lighter. Therefore, colors
are more perceivable and objects are clearer. Once there, we lose sight of third dimensional earth and
become absorbed with the fascinating process of creating reality with our thoughts and feelings.
The entire Astral/Emotional Plane from the Lower Astral Plane to the base of the Mental Plane acts like
a mirror for our emotions. In these fourth dimensional realities, feelings from the third dimensional
world are amplified. They then reverberate back to the physical world in an ever-expanding arc like a
wave buffeting back ad forth between two walls. However, if we can travel into the Astral Plane and
calm this storm, our third dimensional emotions will also lessen.


Summerland is astral sub-plane where “dead” persons go who are not aware that they have died. These
persons are either not in touch with their higher self and spiritual guidance, or they are not yet ready to
accept that their physical life has ended. In Summerland, they can finish whatever earthly goals they
were unable to achieve. If their goals were to harm others and cause fear, they will not be able to
remain there because the vibration of their consciousness will pull them down into the Lower Astral

The vibration of Summerland resonates to love. It is a place where loving people who "die" while
disillusioned or unfinished with their physical life can feel a sense of fulfillment and completion.
Summerland is like a halfway house where the inhabitants can prepare themselves for their rebirth into
the physical world or into the higher planes.


The light and the colors in Faerie are so bright that it is like coming out of a dark cave and into a bright
field. Much of Faerie looks like the physical plane, but there are also plants, beings, and humanoids
there that do not exist on the third dimension. Our fairy tales and fantasy novels give a true
representation of life in Faerie.


>The Mental Plane has much less density than the Astral Plane. In fact, in the mental sub-planes,
emotions are muted because they are balanced. For example, fear and love, happiness and sorrow, are
no longer polarized into separate emotions and are, instead, perceived as a spectrum encompassing all
extremes. Without the polarity of emotions there is no longer the "charge" that distracts our feeling
body and lowers our consciousness. Therefore, we can to "think" about out emotions without the
judgment and criticism that is so common on the third dimension.

Here the combination of thoughts and emotions quickly manifest as objects or experiences. However,
our perceptions that were so bright and distinct on the higher astral sub-planes are muted, like looking
through a gauze veil. Matter on the Mental Plane is very fine, and objects are temporary because they
are created by our attention and disappear when they no longer hold them in our mind.

Just as the Astral Plane creates and reflects our emotions, the Mental Plane creates and reflects our
thoughts. The Mental Plane encompasses our concrete thought, our mental body, and the aura of our
mind. Traveling through the Mental Plane can assist us in releasing old core beliefs of limitation and


The Causal Plane is the highest vibration of the Mental Plane. However, it resonates to a much higher
frequency then the rest of the Mental Plane. Therefore, it is infinitely more beautiful. This plane is filled
with Light, Love, and Truth. The Causal Plane is the plane of our "Higher Self." This plane rules our
abstract thought and can facilitate quick changes in our third dimensional thinking if we allow the
wisdom of our "Higher Self" to enter our physical consciousness.


The highest frequency of the Causal Plane is the Spiritual Plane where our Higher Human resides. Our
Higher Human consists primarily of Light and holds very little matter. From the perspective of our Higher
Human, we are able to pierce the veil between each plane and see our many selves. This process is like
looking through a house of mirrors to see the many "bodies" of our self. However, our true Self is the
Higher Human.

When our Soul desires a physical life, it steps its vibration down into the Higher Human who then
clothes itself in the matter of the appropriate planes to become "born" into the physical world. On each
of the sub-planes between the physical and Causal/Spiritual Plane is a body we can inhabit for our
fourth dimensional journeys.

It is from the Causal/Spiritual Plane that the Rainbow Bridge can lift our vibration into the fifth
dimension and into our fifth dimensional Lightbody. Our “I AM Presence” guards the threshold of this
Bridge, waiting to guide us across it when we are ready.

When the third and fourth dimensions collapse into the fifth dimension, we will all wear bodies of light.
Whether this transformation will occur slowly or suddenly remains to be seen. Either way, when the
transformation occurs, many people will be confused. They will then seek guidance from the
Lightworkers who have faced their fear and darkness and forged ahead into the planes of love and light.
There is a huge tower reaching from
just beneath the surface of the earth
high into the atmosphere.

All around and

up and down this tower
are windows.

You live inside this tower and

interact with the outside world
by looking out the windows.

Through each window

you see a different vision which
you BELIEVE is a different reality.

Your beliefs consist of

what you CONSIDER
to be true.

When you look through each window

you expect to see something different
and your perceptions follow your expectations.

However, if you look through the SAME window

with a DIFFERENT expectation
and a DIFFERENT perception,
you will see a DIFFERENT reality.

You believe that the realities are different

because you have been taught to believe
what you perceive is real.

TRUTH is what you have remembered.

TRUTH lives only

within the tower and
within your SELF.

What you remember to be true is that

only your SELF is real.
Therefore, the only thing that can
TRULY become "different"
is your SELF.

For, just as you can look through the SAME window

with a DIFFERENT perception and belief
and see a DIFFERENT reality,

you can also look through a DIFFERENT window

with the SAME perception and belief
and see the SAME reality.

What you have forgotten to remember

is that the only thing that changes
is YOU.

If YOU change,
then your perceptions
will not change either.

When you travel up and down your tower,

your perceptions are different
because YOU are different.

You are different

because you have changed
your SELF.

What you will learn

when you remember
the TRUTH within your SELF is that:

Wherever you look

you will see your SELF

According to YOUR beliefs and expectations!


A Multidimensional Love Story

Suzan Caroll PhD

The main character, Shature, experiences the final demise of Atlantis, the fabled "lost continent". After
her "death", she journeys through many of the sub-planes of the fourth dimension in search of her new
home. This excerpt begins just before Atlantis sinks into the ocean.

The first rumbling started when the full moon began to rise, and the earth was in full turbulence by the
time the moon had reached its apex. Shature and each of her three best friends had spent twenty-four
hours in meditation and deep communion with their Higher Self. As the earth began to shake, Shature
could feel the fear of the Temple's inhabitants threatening to lower her consciousness. She willed
herself to remain calm, and focused her attention on her Higher Self. Shature felt all the pain and
loneliness of her Atlantian life just beneath her focus like jagged rocks beneath a high bridge. As the
tremors accelerated, she had to call upon all the discipline that she had learned as a Priestess of the
Violet Temple.

The tremors grew, but so did her Inner Light. Shature starred at the blank stonewall before her. In her
mind she could see the waters rushing towards her. She knew her three friends were having the same
vision. It was the vision they had all seen many times. Shature envisioned the oncoming waters as
bringing, not death, but instead reunion with her spirit and with her destiny. Her physical body was
being so rocked and buffeted that Shature had to tie herself to her altar so that she would not be
dashed against the walls of the small room. This done, she returned to her meditation.

As soon as Shature returned her focus inward, the light returned. Now the light was accompanied by a
tone. With every rumble of the earth, the light grew stronger and the tone louder until she was blinded
by the light and deafened by the tone. She could no longer see the room around her or even the vision
of the wall. She could no longer hear the earth tremble or the waters roar as they actually broke through
the stonewall. Shature could see only the light. She could hear only the tone. She had no feelings and no
thoughts. Her emotions had become extinct. Her thoughts were unnecessary. All that was left was this
blinding golden light and its powerful accompanying tone.

The light drew Shature's mind and the tone called her heart until they engulfed her. She stepped into
the light and surrendered to the tone. When she took that step, she found that she was not alone.
Before her stood a beaming golden being-her Higher Self. Shature stepped forward and the feeling of
Unconditional Love embraced her. Shature welcomed the long awaited union. Her Soul was filled.

When at last she looked around, she saw her three friends, also embraced by their Higher Selves. All
four of them had returned to the cusp of the fifth dimension after their sojourn as a human on Earth.
Shature drifted towards them and they stood in a circle. Within their circle was a vortex of Light that
traveled from this threshold of the fifth dimension, through the fourth dimension, and down onto the
troubled earth. The small group did not think, nor did they feel. They focused only on balance-balance to
hold the Earth in its gravitational field.
They realized at that moment that all over the Earth there were other groups of four also serving the
same purpose. Some of the groups were on the earth and some of them had surrendered their physical
shells to the onrushing waters. Working together these groups formed a magnetic net of light that
protected the Earth from complete destruction.

The net was an infusion of the physical and spiritual elements-Spirit and Matter-joined as ONE! From the
center of the vortex was a bridge filled with all the colors of the rainbow. Across that bridge came those
who believed that death was not an end, but instead a new beginning. Leaving behind their physical
forms to the grasps of the onrushing waters, they calmly climbed the bridge to spirit.

They left their fear and sadness behind in their empty vehicles. These emotions would have blurred their
vision of the bridge. They pushed aside their anger at others and at themselves because it would have
trapped them in their dying physical forms. Love alone shone in their hearts and minds. All around the
planet, even in areas where the physical vehicle was safe, brave and loving souls realized that this was
the close of an age. With this knowledge they decided to take the opportunity to free themselves from
the wheel of birth and death. Because they had faced their darkness and done combat with it, they were
able to own their light and see its staircase to a higher dimension.

The Earth would take a long time to recover from this cataclysm, and many courageous souls had
chosen to stay behind to help with its reconstruction. But others took this chance to raise their
vibrations and continue their existence on the higher planes of reality. Shature and her three friends had
made the sacrifice to surrender their lives in service to their spiritual destiny. They, and the others who
had given their lives in service, could choose to reincarnate in a safe area on the physical planet, serve in
the troubled Astral Planes of the Earth, or stay in the higher Mental Planes to continue their spiritual
awakening. Ramor and Vicor, two of Shature's three friends, chose to reincarnate, as they believed their
leadership qualities would be needed. Vicor was even allowed to enter the yet unborn child of his mate.
Ramor reincarnated in Egypt, again to be a Priest. Shature, and her third friend Lateen, chose to stay in
the highest Mental Planes, upon the cusp of the fifth dimension.

Shature was sure of her decision as she joined with her Higher Self above the troubled Astral Planes of
Earth. She was sure of her decision as she embraced her Higher Self in higher worlds. She knew that she
would be happy and content. She knew, or rather, she hoped she would find peace. But, she still heard
the cries of the newly dead from Atlantis. She still felt their need. Many, many had died in the cataclysm,
and most of them did not even know that they were dead. They would keep reliving their horrible death
over and over. Their terror was tangible. Because they had not faced their darkness, because they had
not embraced their light, they could not see the bridge.

They could not control their fear and sadness that kept their souls in a constant state of upheaval. They
also could not control their anger. Therefore, a part of their consciousness was roaming through the
ruined memories of their wasted homeland while another part of them relived the deluge again and
again. In other words, they were in the Lower Astral Plane-their Hell. Shature knew that she could help
them. Many of them knew her or knew of her. Some of them were evil and cruel. She would leave them
to their fate. They would not listen to her anyway because they would rather hold on to the terrifying
memory of their lost power than face the humility of their present state.

Some of newly, however, were merely led astray. The final years of Atlantis were a terrible time. Many
people had no way to see the light because they were surrounded by darkness. These were the people
that were calling. If someone that she knew was calling for help, how could she turn her back and walk
into the Fields of Glory?

She turned to look upon her Higher Self. Yes, she saw that it understood. Could she bring this higher part
of her total self with her into the Lower Astral? While she lived in the physical world she had felt split
them into two separate entities, her true higher self and the person who lived in her limited human
form. Could this higher portion of herself go with her into the lower planes?

"Yes," whispered her Higher Self into her Soul. "I can go with you, and I shall also stay here." Of course,
Shature thought, her Higher Self was not bound by the limitations of her physical self. She could wrap
her essence in her higher body of light and use it for the protection she would need in the planes of the
newly dead.

"I shall also be here," spoke her Higher Self. "You may not be able to remember my vibration for long
whilst in the midst of the Lower Astral Plane. Therefore, I will send you a lifeline of my Unconditional
Love. Shature remembered how much the love of her Higher Self had helped her on Atlantis. Her Higher
Self often helped her to be objective and to see the true meaning of life's challenges. Yes, she would
hold onto the "feel" of her Higher Self while she lowered her vibration to troubled Astral Plane of Earth.

Shature had learned to raise and lower her vibration to travel through the different dimensions when
she was in Atlantis. Her primary essence, however, had remained in her physical form so that she could
keep her physical form alive. Only on special occasions, when others were protecting her body, had she
lifted the life spark into the higher planes. Now, her primary essence was free of all physical limitation
and she would be able to move throughout the different planes of the fourth dimension with a greater
sense of awareness and intimacy. She would return alone. Alone, she would continue her destiny. Alone,
yet in shared consciousness with her Higher Self. Alone, yet at one with the knowledge and memory of
her own true completeness.

As Shature returned her vibration to the troubled Astral Plane around Earth, she found that there was
much to do. To her surprise, the other three of her group was also there. The spiritual net, which had
been formed, had stopped the Earth from going off its axis and spinning to its disaster. However, the
poles had changed and the Earth's axis had tilted. There was widespread destruction upon the Earth.
Mankind was nearly wiped out, but Nature would replenish Herself. Mother Earth was resilient and
could replace the old and dead parts of Her with new parts of unsurpassed beauty and wonder.

Even among the turmoil and suffering of this plane, Shature could see the planet from a new
perspective. She could see Earth as a whole and, therefore, she realized that it was alive. This Earth, that
she had hated because it wasn't her beloved Venus, was a living creature. It was not just a mass of rocks
and water, but a living entity. She had been a small speck upon its surface like a flea upon a goat. This
entity, this Earth, had seen that it was time to shake Herself free of that which was destructive to Her

Shature learned a new respect and love for the being called Earth. Shature also saw how her negativity
had contributed to the condition that she had come to correct. As she moved down into these lower
planes to free and assist others, she realized that she must first free and assist herself. She had to face
all the negativity, which she had contributed to the troubled world and free it from Earth's aura before
she could be of assistance to anyone else. From this point of perspective, she realized how small and
unimportant her problems had been within the grand scale of evolution. In the physical world, all that
was born would grow to maturity and would eventually fall to its death. Now, the evolutionary cycle
that had its peak in Atlantis had come to a close.

Many had learned their appropriate lessons and had been able to move to a higher plane of existence.
Unfortunately, many had also lost much of their evolutionary growth and fallen into destruction. As is so
at the end of every great civilization, the darkness and light had become extremely polarized. The light
had grown to a peak of excellence that allowed the creation of the bridge to a higher consciousness, but
the darkness had many eons to grow in its force as well. As always, evil had wasted its home in its own
greed and hunger for power. In between these two poles, were many confused and frightened souls
who did not even know that they were dead.

Shature moved among the newly dead trying to get their attention, but her vibration was still above
their perception. Would she have to lower her consciousness even more in order to assist them? She
was glad she was aware of her Higher Self at the threshold of the fifth dimension so that she would not
again become entrapped in these lower worlds. She held on to the portion of its body that she had
wrapped around her and connected its lifeline into her heart.

"I am here, my One," her Higher Self reassured her. "Just as you are there and can experience me, I can
be here and can experience you. Remember that whatever you face, you are not alone. I am with you

With these loving words echoing in her mind, Shature lowered her vibration more and more in order to
be visible to the lost ones.

"Shature," she heard a voice, "You must save us. Disaster will soon strike."

"It has struck! Don't you remember? You are dead!" she told them.

"How can you lie to us so? We are awake and together. How can we be dead?"

Most of them turned from her in anger when she told them the truth, but a few were beginning to
remember. She could not help the ones who would not face the truth, but gradually a small group
gathered about her who was able to face their current status. They were all frightened and angry.

"How could this have happened? Why did our leaders not warn us or try to divert this disaster?"

"They would not listen, just as they will not listen now. Their denial will hold them in this awful place.
But your acceptance of the truth will allow you to raise to a higher vibration where you can learn the
lessons of your past life and move on."

The Bridge of Light was still in place except that it was deteriorating quickly from the lowest vibration
up. The doubt, fear, and anger of Earth's Lower Astral Plane were gradually forcing it to recoil itself back
into the higher dimensions. Those who would move up must do so soon or they would lose this cosmic
moment and would have to find their way up alone. Shature was glad that she had her Higher Self's
lifeline to guide her Home when her work was done.

At last she was convinced that all those who would listen to her had found their way to the bridge and
Shature could feel her own connection to her Higher Self diminishing. She joined the others who had
volunteered to help the newly dead and they raised their vibration above the planes of death and
suffering. She wondered how many eons it would take the souls who would not listen to turn towards
the truth.

When Shature gratefully returned to her Higher Self, she was concerned at the worried look upon its

"What is wrong?" she asked.

"Your Earth mate and son are in trouble. Their boat did not leave soon enough and the seas are very
treacherous. Vicor and Ramor are trying to guide them, but their joint energies are not enough for the
frightened passengers of the boat to hear them. Your son is very attuned to the higher vibrations.
Perhaps if you joined the others, he could hear you."

Again I must return, she thought. How could she not? She had known human love and the joys of being
a mother. There was no question in her mind. It was their destiny to start a new colony and she must
assist them. She lowered her frequency rate. Again, using her Higher Self as a lifeline, she lowered her
vibration to the Emotional Sub-plane of the astral realm where Vicor and Ramor awaited her. From this
vibration, they could see the physical Earth, but they were above the suffering of the Lower Astral Sub-
plane. Shature joined them in calling her son. There was a land mass very near with high peaks, but
those on the boat could easily miss it in the stormy seas. A tidal wave would hit them soon. They had
traveled far enough from Atlantis to be safe from its submersion, but not far enough to be safe from the
ensuing tidal wave that would soon overtake them.

The three beings of the higher planes called Shature's son, Vidann, because he was the most receptive
of all those on the boat. However, no matter how urgent their call, he not appear to hear them. Then
Shature realized that their concern was only adding to Vidann's fear, which actually made him less
receptive. Therefore, they stopped for a moment and each one summoned all the love they could and
focused it towards Vidann.

"Follow love," they called, "FOLLOW LOVE!"

Suddenly, he looked in their direction. There was almost a look of recognition upon his face. In unison,
the three directed Vidann's attention towards the distant land. He ran to the Captain and pointed in that
direction. The three upon the higher planes focused their love towards the sea around the boat. Their
loving vibration served to diminish the wave action at the same time that it directed the boat to the
land. They willed the wind and water to move the vessel toward the nearest safe shore. As the ship
pulled into a small harbor, the three focused their thoughts again to Vidann.

"Leave the ship at once and move to high ground."

The boy looked confused. Why did he not feel safe? He moved away from the others on the ship and
focused his mind.

"Mother," Shature heard him say. He felt her! He could hear her call. The three repeated their message
again, "Leave the boat at once and seek higher ground!"

He focused his eyes as if he heard and he ran to the Captain again.

"We must leave at once and go to high ground!"

At first the Captain would not listen, but then he remembered that it was the boy who had found the

"You have saved us once, my lad. I will trust your instincts again."

"Hurry, hurry," cried the boy. "We have very little time!"

In a flurry of activity, the Captain loaded the boarding boats. They took only what they could carry. As
the boats reached the shore, the passengers immediately disembarked and followed the boy, who was
still listening to the calls of love from the higher planes. Some passengers refused to leave the ship, and
some refused to leave the shore just to follow the instincts of a boy, but most of them trusted the lad.
Or perhaps, they too could hear the call.

The climb up the mountain was difficult and slow, as the ascent was quite steep, but at last they found a
large cave at its peak. Just as the last climber reached the safety of the high cave, they heard a roar that
sounded like the eruption of a volcano. Off to the southwest (or whatever direction it was, now that the
sun seemed to move in a different trajectory than before), they saw an immense wave. Were they high
enough, was the question in everyone's mind.

"Quick," yelled the Captain. "To the back of the cave. We will build a barricade so that if the water
enters we will not be pulled out in the backwash."

"The boy has led us astray," cried some in fear. "We would have been safer on the ship."

"No," yelled the Captain. "We would have been capsized or dashed upon the shore. The very voices that
warned us to leave our homeland have led us here and we must listen to them through whoever can
hear. Now, do not waste time. We must build the barricade."
They worked as one person raising a wall to partially close off the cave. As they finished the barrier, they
could hear the onrushing waters. They huddled themselves together at the very back of the cave and
used a rope to bind person to person. The peak of the wave entered the cave but did not have the force
to break down all their barricade. They clung together and were able to stay in the cave even as the
waters rushed back out. They stayed bound together for what seemed like forever before they dared to
move towards the front of the cave.

"It is safe," said the boy.

Vidann had been correct. Now everyone was willing to trust him, and one by one, they untied
themselves and removed a portion of the barricade to look out. The water line was much higher than
before and what once had been a mountain was now a small hill. They could see nothing of the small
harbor, their ship, or of those who would not come with them. They were alone in a place they did not
know, with no means of leaving and only their wits to help them survive.

"We must give thanks," some of them said and they all joined again into one close unit. This time they
joined, not in fear, but in thanksgiving.

The three upon the higher planes could feel the gratitude of those below. Vicor could feel the pull of his
new body, the fruit of his union with his earthly mate. He would stay nearby, as a guide until it was time
for his rebirth. Ramor was also being pulled to his new life in Egypt. Shature did not want to again enter
a physical form, but she also felt she could not return to the higher planes and leave her family in their
present state. She wondered if she could continue to reside at this vibration.

Again, Shature was alone.

She had her family and friends on the third dimension, but they would have to meditate and raise their
consciousness in order to perceive her. Shature suspected that only Vidann would be able to accomplish
that task. She did not wish to live in the Lower Astral Plane and be what those on Earth would perceive
as a ghost. She needed to find a safe place in the fourth dimension where she could still hear her son's
call. Her son and Jatain were busy with the task of finding a home and surviving and probably would not
need her for a while. Shature decided to find herself a home as well.

The form that she now wore was neither the androgynous light body of her fifth dimensional life on
Venus nor the female third dimensional physical body. Her body was in human form and still female, but
it was more ethereal than it had been on Earth. She still identified herself as Shature because she was
tied to friends and family of that life. She was also tied to her Higher Self and could call to it just like
Vidann could call her.

As Shature reflected on her body, she also reflected on her environment. When she had been busy with
Ramor and Vicor assisting their family and friends from Atlantis she had hardly noticed where she was.
They saw Vidann and the others through a dense mist. As she looked around her now, she saw that
same mist. If she focused her attention, she could see Earth, but no matter how much she focused, all
she could see about her was the mist. The light of this plane was constant and without any evident
source. She could not measure time because there was no sun or moon to rise or set. She could not
measure distance because there weren't any landmarks or stars. She wondered how she would proceed
in finding a home here.

Shature had learned from her training in Atlantis that in order travel in the fourth dimension she needed
to have an intention of a destination. She thought about where she would like to be. She wanted a place
that was safe and peaceful with people around her who were not limited by the third dimension and
who were able to understand who she was and where she came from. Shature closed her eyes and
focused on her desire. She had learned that her thoughts would initiate the intention and her feelings
would give it power. She wanted her new home to be filled with love so she sent out her intention with
the feeling of love. When she opened her eyes she could sense the physical world but could not see it,
and the world around was clearer. In the distances she saw what appeared to be a groove of trees. She
desired the experience of the trees and felt herself moving toward them in a floating fashion.

As she approached the grove she could see a group of small beings who where lovingly caressing the
trees. They were about the size of her hand and had small round faces with pointed features and sharp,
clear eyes. But, when they touched the tree, their third eye shown so brightly that she could not see of
their faces through the beautiful, multicolored radiation of light. Their body was like a gossamer gown
that fluttered as they flew among the trees. There was just a hint of arms and their hands could not be
seen through the beautiful light that radiated from them. Their legs were more like one leg that looked
like a root on the beings near the ground and looked like a tail feather on the beings higher up the tree.
As she looked more closely, she could see that they had the ability to change shape. At one moment
they looked like a leaf or a branch and in the next moment they returned to their gossamer gown.

"Are you physical?" she asked as she caught the attention of the group. With their thoughts instead of
their voices, they registered confusion.

"What is physical?" they questioned in one mind.

Shature realized that she would have to change her approach. This world was definitely not physical.
There was still no sun, and she could clearly see the aura that radiated around every living thing-
including her.

"My name is Shature," she said. "What are you called?"

"Ohhh," they laughed in unison. "We are called the Changers."

The Changers seemed to be of a group consciousness and spoke telepathically as a unit.

"What are you doing?" asked Shature, happy to have someone to talk to.

"We are assisting this tree to grow new leaves. Everyone here is known by the task they perform. We
assist in the change of the seasons. What are you doing?"
"I am looking for a home," said Shature with more loneliness in her voice than she had intended.

The Changers circled her and began to touch her much like they had touched the trees. She felt their
touches like little starbursts of love and light. What wonderful creatures they were. As they continued to
work on her, Shature felt the old feelings of fear and anger that she had felt on Atlantis rise to surface,
but only for a moment. The Changers seemed to pull these feelings out of her like a poultice. She could
see her aura grow brighter and brighter until it encompassed all the Changers. Memories of Venus, her
Higher Self, Vidann and her other loved ones on Atlantis filled her heart.

"You feel better now," exclaimed the Changers breaking her reverie.

Shature opened her eyes that she had not realized she had closed.

"Yes, I do. Thank you very much."

The Changers moved away from her and formed a small huddle as if they were having a conference.
They then broke formation and hovered just before her face in a floating, bobbing motion. These must
be members of the fairy folk, thought Shature.

"Yes we are," they said responding to her thoughts. "You are now in the Land of Faerie. If you wish to
follow us, we can take you to our Queen. She will know how to help you."

"Please do. This is a amazing place. I think that I could be happy here."

"Then follow us."

They formed a V shape like a flock of birds and led Shature through the grove of trees and deeper into
the woods. Shature followed them in a running movement that was so effortless that it felt almost like
she was flying as well. She could feel the radiation of each tree that she passed and the birds inhabiting
them seemed as conscious of her as she was of them. When she asked them about this, the Changers
looked again in confusion.

"The winged ones assist us. They are our friends. And in return, we assist them," was their reply.

What a wonderful place thought Shature. All life seemed to work in cooperation with each other and
everywhere she saw great beauty. As her small group traveled through the woods she saw more
Changers who sent out melodious beeping sounds in salutation. Her group of Changers returned the
greeting with their chirps and beeping. From this plane she could still contact and help her loved ones
on the physical plane, but she was not bound by their physical limitations. Shature wondered if she
could contact her Higher Self and instantly felt its reassuring emanations in response. Yes, this is a place
in which she could remain, at least for now.

At last, they came upon a clearing in the forest. There were small huts arranged in a circular fashion.
Many adults and a few children were going about their chores, talking, or playing. The environment was
filled with joy and peace. As she moved into the clearing, the inhabitants of this small village stopped
and stared at her. They registered curiosity, but no fear or malice, as the entire group followed her at a
distance toward the largest hut in the village. One of the Changers disappeared into the hut. An
attractive young woman emerged from it and beckoned Shature to enter.

As she entered the hut, Shature was surprised to see how spacious it appeared from the inside. In the
center of the hut was a small fire. On the other side of the fire was a familiar woman sitting in a large
wooden chair. The Changer who had entered the hut was perched on her shoulder. Although small in
stature like all the other women in the village, she held herself in such a regal fashion that Shature was
sure she was their Queen.

"Sit," spoke a voice as clear as a ringing bell as she invited Shature to sit in a similar chair on the other
side of the fire.

"I am Tamara. Welcome to my humble home. I hear the Changers found you among the trees. You are
human, are you not?"

"Yes, I was human, but I'm not exactly sure what I am now."

"You are still within the human evolution, my dear. We occasionally have humans in their physical shells
visit us. If they are receptive, they can see us. However, you are presently without that earthly body. For
what reason have you come here?"

"I did not wish to return to my physical form, but I also could not bear to leave my loved ones whom I
feel need me at this time."

"Would that be the group that just came ashore?"

"How do you know of them?" Shature questioned.

"My dear, space doesn't limit our vision here. Nor does time. In fact, I was somewhat expecting you. We
have 'seers' here, like Lynette," said Tamara as she pointed to the one who invited Shature into the hut.
"We are aware of the troubles on Atlantis and watched as your group and others formed the light net to
stabilize the planet and the Bridge of Light to the higher dimensions. We owe you all a great debt. In
saving the planet, you have saved us as well. You may not have been aware of it, but you inspired us to
join you in your meditations and in the creation of the net and the bridge. I feel like I know you even
though we have just met. "

"You too seem familiar. Are you the Queen of Faerie?"

"Yes I am and I sense that you would like to stay here with us. You are, of course, welcome. If you would
like, Lynette will take you to a hut that we have prepared for you in case you came here. We are joyous
that you have.

"We can talk more after you are settled. I believe you will be with us for a while."
"I would like that very much!"

Tamara rose and seemed to look into Shature's soul. Shature felt an engulfing sense of love and

"Welcome to Faerie. It is your home for as long as you wish."

Shature stood as well and thanked Tamara for her welcome.

With joy in her heart, Shature followed Lynette to her new home. She could feel her Higher Self from
the higher worlds and wished that she could communicate with it. To her surprise, she heard its voice as
if it were next to her.

"We are whole, my One. We are complete. You are at the hand of the long arm of God/Goddess and I
live within its heart. Just as I can look upon you, you can look upon me. No time or space shall separate
us as we reside together in Spirit!"

Shature felt calm and serene as she followed Lynette. Her Higher Self's words reassured her. She knew
that she had made the right decision. Soon they arrived at the place that would be Shature's residence.
It was in a small hut that appeared to be made large leaves piled in the shape of a dome. Upon entering
the dome, she found that it was transparent from the inside even though it was opaque from the
outside. She felt instantly at home.

Shature thought that she would like a vase of flowers. Then, at her request, a lovely vase of her favorite
flowers from Venus appeared upon a crystal table. She thought of candles and a violet candle in a crystal
holder appeared next to the flowers. Her altar was complete. She then thought of a low, soft chair and
found one just behind her.

As soon as she filled her thoughts with a desire, it became manifest. Yes, she would like it here. If there
were dark forces on this plane, she could feel that she was in a protected location. She could contact her
Higher Self with ease and was awaiting her next adventure. She was happy and peaceful.

The woods around her hut were filled with life. There were creatures that she remembered from
Atlantis and others that looked more like they should be on Venus. As she looked at her form, she saw
that it was much like it was in her Earth life. Her hands were intricately formed, but she could see a
small vortex on each of her fingertips and a large one in the palm of each hand. The one on the right
hand spun clockwise and the vortex on the left hand spun counter-clockwise.

When Shature moved her hands in front of her, she saw that they left a trail of fine glistening dust. As
she moved them up and down her body began to rise above the ground. She decided that she would go
outside to explore. As soon as she left the hut she was drawn into the surrounding forest. She moved
among the trees in a floating motion that she was quickly becoming accustomed to. As she floated, she
moved her hands again and soon rose higher and higher above the ground. To her surprise, she
discovered she could fly. She flew around the trees and up to the top of the forest canopy. She
remembered that before she had met the Changers she had actually been flying. However, she had been
so intent on her mission to find a home that she had not realize what she was doing..

It was so wonderful to fly. All the creatures of Faerie could communicate with her and welcomed her to
their home. But, then she wondered how her son and Jatain were doing and began to worry. Instantly,
she found herself falling. She became afraid and then she fell faster and faster. She could see the ground
rising up to meet her. The fear caught her throat and she started to scream. Then suddenly, she heard a
voice from deep within.

"Remember Love, my one!" It was her Higher Self.

Just as she was about to crash to the ground, she remembered LOVE. The feeling of Love caught her like
a net and set her gently onto the cool forest floor. The birds and other creatures ran to reassure her.

"Yes," she thought. "I must remember LOVE!"

I had a dream, or was it a nightmare? I can't remember much, but I do remember the fear, fear of the
unknown. I was somewhere, anywhere. It didn't matter. What mattered was the noise. It was a noise
like a loud knock, a knock of something or someone who wanted in.

When I heard this knock, the area around the noise started to decompose. In a circular pattern, the wall
or the floor or the furniture, began to morph into something different, something that looked like liquid

I was terrified and so was everyone around me. There were many children who needed my protection.
Where these the children outside of me, or the children inside of my mind? I too needed comfort and I
clung to my mate for love and safety.

What was this phenomenon, and what could I do to stop it? Those around me looked for my
intervention, but I too was afraid. How could I help anyone when I was so frightened?

Well, of course, I couldn't. First, before I could help anyone else, I would have to confront the fear that I
harbored inside myself.

Then, it happened again, louder than ever before. The children ran to me for cover. I had to do
something. I had to face my fear for them.

The circular pattern of morph opened on the floor just before me. I knew that love could conquer all
fear. Could I find the conviction to put that knowledge into action? Could I take the risk to love that
which I feared?

I leaned forward and sent all the Unconditional Love that I could find in my heart to the swirling circle
before me. The Love that coursed through my body eased my fear and gave me the courage to bend
over and tentatively stoke the air above the circle of fear, much like I would stroke a frightened child. In
just a few moments, I was actually able to lovingly stroke the circle itself.

Slowly the circle ceased its swirl, and the ground before me became normal. But what was normal? Was
it normal for everything to be hard and dense and filled with fear? Or, was it normal for everything to be
a swirling vortex of liquid light?

What was it that was trying to enter my reality, and why did it frighten me so? I only know that it
changed my world, just for a moment, and made everything that had been dense and hard into a
swirling vortex of light. I guess I will find out if my dream was the warning of destruction or the promise
of transformation.

Only time will answer my question,

but at least now,
I am NOT afraid.

The sixth red door is marked: SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE

We go to the door and knock.

A message is displayed:
Spiritual guidance hears our call and surrounds us with its love.

When we can no longer stand our fear and pain, we fall to our knees to ask for guidance. Then perhaps,
if even for a moment, we can feel the long arm of love as it reaches through our fear and self-pity.

Fortunately, a moment is all that is needed to accept guidance from the realm beyond time. Through
our fears, our sorrows, our anger, and our pain, the Hand of LOVE seeks to comfort and ease our
tortured heart and weary mind.

Fortunately, a moment is all that is needed to accept guidance from the realm beyond time. Through
our fears, our sorrows, our anger, and our pain, the Hand of LOVE seeks to comfort and ease our
tortured heart and weary mind.

If we can open ourselves to this love, if we can believe that we DO deserve this it, then we CAN allow it
into our hearts. Then we WILL be able to accept the love that has been offered. When we can accept the
love from our Higher Self, we can begin to sincerely love others and to allow others to intimately love us.

When we have released the fear and chosen love, the cycle is completed.
Once we have touched our darkness, we can return it to the light.


Spiritual guidance hears our call and surrounds us with its love.

The Spiritual Guidance Door represents the Spiritual sub-plane of the fourth dimension, which is the
base of the Rainbow Bridge leading us into the fifth dimension. The Spiritual sub-plane is the home of
our higher human, and our I AM Presence—our Higher Self.

Our Higher Self is the spiritual guidance that rescues us from our fear and pain. It is the hand that holds
ours when we will allow no one to love us, and the voice that comforts us when we will not share our
sorrow. It is the inner ear that will hear our confessions, and the Heart within our heart that forgives us
our mistakes. From the perspective of our spiritual guidance, we cannot become lost. Hard times are
spiritual initiations, and mistakes are lessons that teach us to grow.

Unfortunately, this Self is often lost to our unconscious mind.

How can we learn to hear that Self and allow it to guide us to our Soul?


A Poetic Journey of Spiritual Transformation

Suzan Caroll PhD

Seven Steps to Soul is the result of years of contemplation and meditation. I created a special place in
my home where I could be alone and undisturbed. Before my meditation I would often prepare my
space by lighting candles, playing calm music and choosing a comfortable place to relax.

Often I would sip a warm drink, such as hot tea, as I listened to the music and read a spiritual book.
When I finished reading, I would close my eyes, and ponder what I had read and how it related to my
life. When I finished my contemplation I would write in my journal to clarify what I had experienced.

At first I wrote in a spiral binder, but gradually I came to value my communications with my Self. I began
to buy special books for journaling and attached my favorite pen to them. At first, pain and fear were my
strongest feelings.

However, my contemplation allowed me to reveal these emotions to my conscious mind. The expression
of these feelings through writing allowed me to find comfort inside myself. This book is laid out so that
the reader may follow the same process that was used to write it.
Spiritual guidance hears our call and surrounds us with its love.

The Spiritual Guidance Door represents the Spiritual sub-plane of the fourth dimension, which is the
base of the Rainbow Bridge leading us into the fifth dimension. The Spiritual sub-plane is the home of
our higher human, our Self.

Our Self is the spiritual guidance that rescues us from our fear and pain. It is the hand that holds ours
when we will allow no one to love us, and the voice that comforts us when we will not share our sorrow.
It is the inner ear that will hear our confessions, and the Heart within our heart that forgives us our
mistakes. From the perspective of our spiritual guidance, we cannot become lost. Hard times are
spiritual initiations, and mistakes are lessons that teach us to grow.

Unfortunately, this Self is often lost to our unconscious mind. How can we learn to hear that Self and
allow it to guide us to our Soul?


A Poetic Journey of
Spiritual Transformation

Suzan Caroll Ph.D.

Seven Steps to Soul is the result of years of contemplation and meditation. I created a special place in
my home where I could be alone and undisturbed. Before my meditation I would often prepare my
space by lighting candles, playing calm music and choosing a comfortable place to relax. Often I would
sip a warm drink, such as hot tea, as I listened to the music and read a spiritual book. When I finished
reading, I would close my eyes, and ponder what I had read and how it related to my life. When I
finished my contemplation I would write in my journal to clarify what I had experienced.

At first I wrote in a spiral binder, but gradually I came to value my communications with my Self. I began
to buy special books for journaling and would attached my favorite pen to them. At first, pain and fear
were my strongest feelings. My contemplation allowed me to release these emotions to my conscious
mind. The expression of these feelings through writing allowed me to find comfort inside myself. This
book is laid out so that the reader may follow the same process that was used to write it.
Excerpts from

The seven sections of this book represent the seven chakras. The awakening of our
chakras and the rise of the Kundalini is the process that aligns us with our Soul. When
we are aligned with our Soul, we can begin to surrender to its guidance and to its
habitation of our physical body.
Shortly after our Soul enters our body at birth we begin to forget our higher Self.
However, our inner child holds that secret for us until we are ready to remember. But why do we
forget? Most of us are taught to forget by the people in our world who no longer remember.

Often, we forget because of painful events that are too great for a child to bear, but in the process of
forgetting, we often lose the happy memories as well. We also forget because our emotional reactions
to the world around us blur our experiences and in turn blur the memory of our experiences. Just like
low frequencies mask out high frequencies, pain and fear can mask out love.

However, if we can learn to hear and express our emotions without judgment or criticism of ourselves,
we can release the pain and fear that covers love and lessens our ability to accept it. Learning to be
honest with, accepting of, and loving to ourselves can take years.

Most of us have learned in our childhoods that it is not safe to be completely open and honest. Too
often fear taught us to judge rather than to accept. These judgments make it difficult to love ourselves
and to love others.

Our Self is the portion of our consciousness that has NOT fallen into fear, criticism, and judgment. When
we can become our Self, we can regain our conscious connection with our Soul. This journey begins with
remembering the treasures of our childhood that are hidden beneath the pain.

A Life Begins and Soon Forgets

She saw the first step before her. It seemed very familiar, like something from her childhood. Yes, that
was it; this was the first step on the staircase that leads to her Grandmother's house. Something had
happened by these stairs because for years and years she had a recurring dream. In this dream, she was
lost. She had wandered around trying to find her way until, at last, she could go no further. Then, she
would see the stairs leading to Grandma's front porch. But did she climb them? No! Instead, she lay
down on the sloping lawn next to the stairway and went to sleep-went to sleep in her dream. Why she
never climbed the stairs to receive from her Grandmother the comfort that she needed, she did not

Perhaps, she wasn't ready yet.


The first chakra represents our survival consciousness. We first learned to survive when
we were children. We had to learn to adapt to our environment-no matter what. Often
we used survival mechanisms that functioned like training wheels to assist us during
times when we could find no better way to adapt to the world around us. These
"training wheels" worked while we were children, but what held us up as children, holds us back as
adults. If we can explore our childhood from our adult perspective, we can begin to release what is no
longer needed and remember what we lost.


Remembering our childhood allows us to regain the memory of our multidimensional self that we lost as
we "grew up". Our memories of Home in the higher dimensions became dimmer and dimmer as we
tried to make a home in our physical world and physical body.

Our first chakra represents our first impressions of life. These impressions became the basis of our
beliefs. In turn, our beliefs directed our expectations to perceive a world that was consistent with the
world we were trained to experience. In this way we felt safe because we feel like we fit more into our

Therefore, bit-by-bit, the UNLIMITED knowledge that was of the higher worlds was constricted into
knowledge of the LIMITED physical world. Unfortunately, far too often our physical world was filled with
fear. The fear that we experienced as a child walled us off from the love that is innate within our Soul.
Our Soul became the portion of ourselves that we forgot a little bit more each day.


The small child longed to go Home,

but she did not know the way.

She could remember the sights

and fields of Home and
she could remember her wonderful friends.

She was lonely here,

in this strange and barren land.
She longed so to face the presence
of all that was Home -
True love,
Complete Acceptance,
Divine Beauty,
and Total Union with all life.
Here she felt separate.
There were great walls dividing
each portion of life.
And there was a smaller wall around her.

When she first came to this place

she was afraid.
She did not understand these
strange people or their strange ways.

Flowers, trees, and animals

did not speak to her.
And if she tried to speak to them,
others laughed.

Therefore, she began to build

a wall around her.
With every laugh and
every condemning thought
a new brick was laid.

She could no longer speak to her

plant and animal friends,
no matter how hard she tried.
The wall became so heavy and high that
she could barely see the sun
or feel the breeze
or view the world around her.

Then she decided that it was time

for the wall to come down.
Even if they laughed,
she could feel the sun.
Even if they condemned her,
she could see the flowers.

So she began.
Brick by brick the wall was crumbling.
At first, it was very difficult.
The bricks were cemented fast,
and it took great effort to
remove even one.
However, the bricks were
somehow connected and
as one was released
the others were weakened.
With the release of each brick,
the process became easier and easier.

As the wall became smaller

the sun was brighter
and the breeze more refreshing.
She had forgotten that
the world was pretty after all.

She had not realized that

for every one who laughed --
there was someone else who cared.

She had not realized that --

if she ignored the ridicule of others,
she could then hear the plants and animals
hungrily returning her call.

As she gained the courage

to begin removing her wall,
she gained the courage to face
that which was behind it.

Eventually, the wall

seemed very small.
Or, perhaps she had grown.

It had seemed that,

as she removed each brick,
she had grown taller.

She wasn't sure of this, of course.

It had just seemed that way.

In fact, she wasn't sure of much.

She only knew that life was better.
She did not know what would happen
when all the bricks were gone.

But she did know

that fear had built the wall
and only LOVE
could totally remove it!


Our childhood memories of the higher worlds are a gift that we may choose to deny. We have become
very comfortable with our perceptions of limitations and separation, which function like a fence to
separate us from our fear. However, no fence is high enough or strong enough to ward off the fear that
lives inside. The only protection against this fear is love, love for our selves. Love is the ultimate present
that we ALL deserve and we CAN accept.


The small child very much wanted the

brightly wrapped present.
But somehow she felt she didn't deserve it.
Each time it was given to her
she retreated in shyness and lowered her eyes.

How could that lovely prize be hers?

How could she accept it?

"Just take it," came a kindly voice.

"There are others who know more than you.
Even though you cannot see
all that has brought this to you,
know that it is yours."

The child did not understand.

But she trusted the kindly voice and
timidly reached for her prize.
But, as she touched it,
it disappeared.

"Where has it gone?"

cried the child.

"Why, it is yours now,"

said the voice.

"It is no longer something

that you must reach for.
It is something now,
which you must own."

As we are "growing up", it is the impressions of others that are first imprinted into our consciousness
because our parents and those who raise us define our world through their perceptions. As children we
are dependent upon our parents to explain our world to us and to protect us from its dangers, but,
eventually, we must take the leap to see the world though our own eyes instead of through the eyes of
others. This change in perception, can feel like a death.


Once there was a baby bird.

He could not fly nor feed himself.
Helpless, he lay in the nest and
waited for his parents
to bring him nourishment.

Because the bird was so dependent

he grew to worship those who cared for him.
After all, without them, he would die.

However, over time,

the bird began to change.
The fluff about him began to drop away
and something else took its place.

Of course, when the bird

began to lose his fluff
he became very worried.

"What is this 'something else'?

What if this 'something else'
is not as good as my fluff?" he cried

Also, to make matters worse,

the growing bird's parents
did not come as often with food.
And, they left him alone in the nest
for what seemed like a very long time.

And now the "something else"

began to itch.
The bird wanted to shake himself
and spread his arms.
But, alas, the nest had gotten very little
and, if the bird were to move at all,
he had to stand on the very edge of it.

One day, when the nest

had gotten very small
and the bird felt very itchy,
he stretched out his arms.
Just as he did so, a gust of wind came up
and blew the terrified bird from his nest.

Oh no!
The parents were gone again
and the ground was very far away.
Surely, he would die.
Whatever could he do to save himself?
Clearly, he was alone with no one to help.
And oh, he itched so terribly.

But, at least now, he could stretch himself,

if only for a few moments.
But something happened
when the bird stretched his arms.

The very evil wind that had

blown him from his nest
seemed to catch him by the "something else"
that was hanging from his arms.

"My, this is wonderful,"

thought the bird.
"Even if my end is near, at least I can enjoy
what time I have left."

Then, just before the bird

reached the ground
he thought to look up to where he had been
and to where he would never return.

Surprisingly, as he did so,

the wind carried him in that very direction.
The bird became so very excited
that he rapidly moved his arms
with the something else hanging from them.
For the first time, he really looked at himself
and found that he was just like his parents.

"Why, these are wings," cried the bird.

"And I am flying."

So the end was really the beginning.

And, what the young bird
had thought was his death,
was really a new life.


Once we have regained our connection to childhood's lost secrets, we must learn to keep it. Our child
can assist us in remembering our Soul, and our Soul can teach us to see the world through our own eyes
instead of through the eyes of others. However, sometimes we must go far away from ourselves before
we can appreciate what we have always had.


"Where are we?" said the young child to the large, golden Lightbeing who stood
beside her.

"We are Home, my dear," was the simple reply.

"Is that why my heart tickles?" giggled the girl.

The golden being reached out a long arm and, with a pointed finger, touched the exact
point of "tickle". The girl was than transformed into a young woman.

"Where is the child?" was her first question.

"The child is inside where she has always been," answered the golden being. "Can you feel her?"

"Yes, I think so. It feels like she is within me, but also somewhere else. I mean, she is here, but she is also
playing in a beautiful field filled with flowers, butterflies, and fairies. How can that be? How can she be
in two places at once?"

"You are on the fifth dimensional plane now. You can be in as many places as your mind can remember.
The trick is to feel the unity of each of these realities. Feel this unity as a golden cord. Do you see where
it is attached to the life-spark in your heart?"

"Yes," replied the young woman. "It feels like a deep longing for someone. But who?"

The long arm of the golden being reached out and, again with pointed finger touched the exact spot of
The young woman was no longer a woman, nor a man. She was both.

"Thank you so very much," replied the androgynous being who now stood as tall as the golden one. In
fact, it was also golden.

"Your touch reminded me of who I am. I am Kepier. I am fifth dimensional as well, and I am welcoming a
third dimensional portion of myself who is awakening. Her child never forgot me.

"And who am I?" asked the golden one with the sacred touch. "Can you remember me?"

Kepier looked inside, knowing that that was where all answers were found.

"You are a portion of "my self" that resonates to the sixth dimension. Are you Wolal?"

Although the being's face was barely perceptible through its beaming aura, Kepier "felt" the response of
a warm smile.

Wolal wrapped itself into a whirling vortex and extended one arm.

"Touch your heart to my finger and we shall take a journey."

Kepier bent its long, lean form over to allow the tip of Wolal's finger to touch its heart and was instantly
pulled into the vortex.

In the vortex there was no form, even for Kepier. Kepier saw itself as a speck of light swirling with
millions of other lights. Faster and faster the vortex swirled until the million lights were One.

"Let's go down into that patch of darkness from which this light radiates," spoke Wolal.

Kepier was not sure that it wished to leave the light to explore the darkness, but it was now in total
unity with Wolal. Like the finger follows the hand, Kepier followed Wolal into the darkness.

The spin of the vortex slowed as they descended. Kepier began to feel itself separate from Wolal.

At a vibration much lower than its own, Kepier could perceive the child and woman that it had just been.
Kepier knew that they were other components of it's self. The child appeared to be crying about not
wanting to leave Home. The woman was clearly angry because she did not want to leave either.

Then Kepier felt a pull at its heart.

The long arm of Wolal again touched Kepier's heart at the exact point of the "pull". In that place was the
golden cord.

"Connect this cord through your heart. I will hold it here, as I can descend no further. Go down as far as
you can and give the other end of the cord to the woman. Tell her to give it to the child."

"I will obey," replied Kepier, understanding the reason for the command.
Kepier traveled down, down, down into the darkness until the density pushed against it so that it could
descend no further.

"This must be how Wolal felt when it came to touch me," Kepier spoke to itself.

The golden cord vibrated in affirmation.

Kepier smiled. Now it must find the woman.

There she was, sitting on a couch and writing in a small golden book. The woman could not see Kepier
except in her imagination.

"Take this golden cord and connect it to your heart," the woman wrote upon her page. "Now give the
other end to your inner child."

"Can I find my child?" the pen expressed.

The golden cord vibrated in affirmation. The woman smiled. I must descend down into the vortex as did
Kepier and Wolal, wrote the woman.

The woman's imagination displayed the vortex upon her inner vision, but the darkness was not inviting.

"I must be as courageous as the other portions of myself were. I cannot abandon my child. She needs
me and I greatly need her."

The woman descended into the vortex and felt an ever-growing density pushing upon her form. At last
she saw a child growing smaller and smaller, younger and younger. If she did not reach the child soon
she may never have been born.

When at last the woman reached the child who was quickly moving backwards in time, the child was an
infant just leaving her mother's womb.

"Quick, grab this golden cord and attach it to your heart," spoke the woman to the newborn.

The infant was partially through the birth canal extending a tiny bloody arm. The tip of her finger
touched the tip of the golden cord.

Within that moment of contact, a blaze of light filled the delivery room.

Time stood still.

The infant's form was frozen in time with an outstretched arm touching the tip of a golden cord that
only she could see.

Gradually, the light took on a vaguely human form. It was not a body though.

It was a Soul. The infant's Soul.

The Soul took the cord that the infant had chosen to touch and connected it to the small beating heart.

"Now," beamed the Soul,

"You shall never forget
who you really are!"

Often the first emotions that we finally allow ourselves to realize and express are painful ones because
they are the memories that we pushed way in our early life. It is not until we can balance these painful
emotions with emotions of comfort and happiness that we can find peace. This peace, of course, is
fleeting because there is always a new catalyst to react to. But, if we can clear our past, we can
experience each moment in a clear and present way. Then, we will not be as buffeted about by the
challenges of everyday life.

Healing the Pain

She saw the second stair before her. It was on the stairway to her first adult home. This home was filled
with emotional memories: fun, fear, laughter, and sorrow. Could she use the wisdom she had learned
from her child to heal the painful emotions and balance them with happiness and joy? Yes, she affirmed.
But, as she moved towards the stairway, the emotions overwhelmed her.

She would have to go very slowly.


The second chakra represents our primal emotions and early childhood
experiences. Many of those emotions and the experiences that created them are
long forgotten. Our second chakra grounds us to the Mother Earth and to our
personal history. If we can feel the love of the Great Mother, She can assist to in
remember more of what has made us who we are.


Awakening our feelings can be frightening at first, but if we are persistent, we will find the love hidden in
the briar patch of our fears. That love can assist us in remembering what our child has always known
and what we have forgotten since we "grew up".


Through the dawn light

I could see a figure.
It was difficult to determine
if it were male or female
or even human.

However, I felt an affinity for that figure.

It seemed to draw me
like a magnet.
I rose from my bed in the forest
to be closer to the vision.

Perhaps, if I could touch it

or somehow communicate with it,
I could understand my feelings about it
and the great familiarity I felt for it.

But wait!

How had I arrived in this forest?

Hadn't I gone to sleep in my bed?

Yes, I decided with a heavy heart,

it was only a dream again.
But why not follow the figure still?

Even though I had decided

I was in a dream,
I found I could still move
with a will of my own.

The figure did not seem to mind

that I was moving closer.
It neither faded, nor moved away.

Bit by bit,
it took on more clarity.
I could see that it was wearing a robe
and possessed deep, luminous eyes
of the purest blue I had ever experienced.

However, the other facial features

were masked by a bright radiance
which almost hurt my eyes -
like looking into the sun!
The closer I came,
the more intently I stared.
It was almost as if I could not
pull my eyes away.

I was riveted in the deep pools of blue

that before had appeared to be eyes.

But the eyes had no significance.

Only the color and the radiance
retained any importance.

Now, not only the figure

I had been gazing at,
but the figure I had determined
as myself--began to fade
further and further
from my consciousness.

I was free.

The form that I had observed

and the one that I had worn
were both gone.
Only the blue radiance remained.

I felt oddly comfortable.

But, at the same time, a fear
began to build somewhere inside me.

I struggled to push the fear away

and lose myself in the
deep blue radiance.

But, in the struggle,

the radiance began to dim.

"No, no!" I screamed in my mind.

"I will not be afraid!
I will not lose this again!"

But the anger only fed the fear.

And, as the fear grew, it began
to pull me back into my body.
I felt the heaviness
of my hands and feet,
the throbbing of my heart,
and the gasping of my breath.

Why did this continue to happen?

From where did this fear arise?
Where had I gotten it?

From the fading blue radiance

I telepathically heard the words,
"Turn, my dear, and face your fear.
One cannot master that which
they are afraid to face."

With these final words

I suddenly awoke in my bed.
The dream was over.
Or had it just begun?

What was the mastery

of which the vision spoke?
Could I make my life into my dream
and my dream into my life?

but first
I would have to
face my fear.


Fear is like our shadow. If we turn and walk into it, it gets smaller. However, if we try to run away, it will
follow us, getting larger and larger.


"I am going to stay and face it.

Whatever happens,
it can't be worse
than running away.

I have run and run

and the shadow at my back
only gets bigger.
Whatever I have created,
it is time to look it in the face."

She turned with the conviction

of her final words
and planted her feet
to wait for the confrontation.

It felt good.

At least now she felt in control.

At least now she was the hunter
rather than the hunted.

It came to her slowly

and so subtly that she
didn't see it until it was upon her.

Would she have the strength to fight it

and the courage to
make it her friend?

She would find out now --

once and for all.


As we forge our way through what we fear, we can also remember times when we were happy, times
when we felt loved. Then we can use that love to heal the frightened child who has hidden, unnoticed
and uncomforted, in our unconscious. When we have healed our past, we can remember more about


Remember more.
Remember more.

The small voice inside my head

thunders the words
as I grope through the darkness.
I strain my mind
to the edge of breaking

What is it that I have to remember?

Something about life.
Something about love.

Something about
the way to know
and the way to be.

Slowly, a distant twinkle

begins to glow in my brain.
A slow understanding
begins to form.

Something familiar begins to grow.

Like a seedling in Spring
it carries all the hope and purity
of a flower
and the strength and virility
of a untried concept.

But, it flickers
in and out of my consciousness
like a star on a foggy night.

I try to grab onto that star

so that, when the fog clears,
I can pick up where I left off.

But still, the memory eludes me.

Why? Am I afraid again?

No, now I will not allow fear
to cloud my mind
and restrain my heart.

I will not allow fear to be my master.

I will continue and continue,
come what may.

Remember more.
Remember more.

Oh yes, now I remember.

Now the fog has cleared
and, for a moment, I know.
I came here to Love.
I came here to Serve.

Happiness is not
something to seek.

Happiness is
something to remember.


As we remember all that we have forgotten, we can forget the pain and remember only the lesson. Then
we can live in peace.


Open your heart, my dear.

The anchor within it weighs heavy
with the barnacles of many
ages of submersion.

To sail into the heart of the One

the anchor must be raised.

Know that as the anchor

rises to the surface,
all the secrets that have been
locked deep inside will be pulled
into the Light of Day.

Can you Love yourself?

Can you Accept yourself?

You have hidden from yourself

in order to maintain the
illusion of who you wanted to be.
To raise the anchor in your heart
means to know who you ARE.

You are prepared for misery.

Are you prepared for Joy?

You are prepared for heartache.

Are you prepared for Happiness?

You are prepared for darkness.

Can you face the Light?

What if you opened the rusty old chest

which you had kept secret from yourself
and found that it
was filled with Gold?

Can you face

not that which is wrong,
but instead
that which is already Perfect?

You have faced your Demons.

It is time now to face your Angels.

You are perfect.

In this moment, you live in the lap of God.

You do not need "to do".

You only need "to accept".

Allow these words to float

deep into your heart.

You are loved unconditionally

and are destined to experience
Divine Unity.

Love yourself.
You are truly beautiful.

Darkness is the center

of the seed of beauty.
Within that darkness lies
the potential of your true Self.
Love the darkness
as a child loves his mother.

Love the darkness.

Love Heals.

Once we have gained the ability to experience our emotions and not repress them, or become trapped
in them, we find that our thoughts often push us back into negativity. Then we must allow ourselves to
again listen to our Self.
When we were trapped in, or repressing, our emotions it was impossible to hear our thoughts. But,
when our emotional body has calmed, our thoughts come to our attention.

Can we choose our thoughts or are they our jailer who thrusts our daily portion before us without asking
our opinion? Only when we can listen to the still small voice within can we discriminate between the
thoughts that are ours and the thoughts that we have learned, or taken on, from others.

Learning to Think from Inside

She saw the third step before her. She recognized this stairway instantly. It was long and very steep and
ran from the parking lot up to her college campus. This is where she began to learn how to master her
mind. Her emotions were also strong here and her inner child could not believe that she was "smart
enough". However, the still voice inside told her that she would be successful. She chose to listen to that
inner voice through the disappointments and the challenges and returned again and again to climb
these stairs.

For, at the top of this stairway, awaited confidence.


Once we have gained the ability to experience our emotions and not repress
them, or become trapped in them, we find that our thoughts often push us
back into negativity. Then we must allow ourselves to again listen to our


The third chakra represents our thoughts, and the thoughts of others that we "pick up" with our Astral
Body. These thoughts are intertwined with our emotions, and the emotions of others. If the emotions
are negative then the thoughts are usually obsessive and redundant. We try to "think" our way out of
our fear, but instead we end up thinking fearful thoughts. Instead, we need to listen to our thoughts for
how can we heal something that we are trying to avoid?

When we first start listening to our thoughts, we may be surprised at how negative they are. We must
not judge these thoughts for judgment will only force them deeper underground. Instead, we must try
to listen "through" the thoughts to find the "thinker".


As she listened inside her mind

she realized that
a crowd of ideas
was trying to confuse her.

Worries, calculations,
promises, and dreams
were constantly echoing about
in the inner recesses
of her brain.

How could she still

this crowd of ideas?

How could she center

herself in the midst
of a mental hurricane?

Where had this

storm come from?

Had she not listened

to herself before or
was all this "noise" new?

No, she suspected

it had always been there,
but she had been too busy
listening to the noise without

to hear the noise within.

Well, now, she could hear it.

Now, she knew it was there.

But how could she master it?

She knew she could not

control the outside voices,
but she must learn to calm
the buzz within.

Did she need to listen to

the many cries within,
or ignore them as
a mother may ignore
a spoiled child's
repeated demands?

And where was she?

Somewhere within
that inner circus
must be her Self.

Somewhere amongst the

clowns and elephants
there must be a ringmaster.

But where?

Hearing the Self

When we have found the "self" that is frightened and alone, we become empowered. For if we are
listening to our self, then WHO are we?


I walk along the shore

seemingly alone.
However, I feel
a presence with me
that I wish
I could feel in the city.

The presence is the ocean,

or perhaps, it is
just the water.

There is something
alive there,
vibrating and moving
with a freedom
I wish was my own.

If only my thoughts could move

as melodiously as the sea.

If only they could

roll and pitch

One thought gracefully

moving away
so that the next one
can enter.

Each thought reaching its peak

and slowly, steadily
moving towards its close
on the sands of my mind.

Yes, often my thoughts

are stormy
and often they are gray.

And, yes, the storms do clear -


Then the calm pitch and roll returns,

for a while.

But now,
as I walk by the ocean,
I feel a presence,
an alive feeling,
an awake calmness.

Can I take this feeling with me?


When we have taken the responsibility for listening to our thoughts, we can begin to choose them. We
can choose to have positive, calm thinking or we can choose obsessive, fearful thinking. With practice,
we can learn to think nothing at all. Then we can really listen-listen to the "Eye of the Infinite".


Away from the burdens and

responsibilities of everyday life
you can find the time
to look deep into
the Eye of the Infinite.

Take a long time now to realize

that the promise
and serenity of all life
can be the foundation for
each and every action.

Be still, first within yourself,

and then you will learn
to be still within the world.
If you are not still
you cannot listen.

And if you cannot listen

you will not hear.
So listen now.

Listen to the small voice

who encourages and
directs your every
thought, feeling, and movement.

Allow this inner voice

to protect you from within
so that your armor of
fear and distrust
can be released.

The shell falls from the nut

so that the sweet fruit
within can be revealed
and enjoyed.

The shell was needed

while the seed was ripening.
But, if the shell does not crack
at the appropriate time
its protection will hinder the
release of the seed.

The seed is indeed frightened

to face the world
without its protective

However, if it can remember

that it is not just a seed,
but an infant tree,
its courage will be renewed.

And what kind of tree are you

and how many fruit
shall you bear?

Allow the shell to fall.

As it does,
know that even then,
you shall be but a hint
of your future Self.

Therefore, be not attached

to the shell, or the seed,
or even the tree
to which the seed shall grow.

The process of evolution

is infinite and each
stage of development is
a victory, a death and,
a new beginning.


Only when we have learned to hear our Self can we gather its wisdom and direction. When we use our
creative force to act upon this direction, we can ground the wisdom our Self into our mundane life. It is
in this way that we can learn to BE our SELF in our everyday world.


Behold my one,
the hour of completion is upon you.

Be cheerful
because I AM with you.

Be grateful
because I AM loving.

Be conscious
because I AM awake.

The fire in the small pit appeared

to be extinguished.

However, beneath the rubble of the old,

hid the fresh beginnings of the new.

Only a few pieces of fresh wood

and a small breeze were needed to ignite it.

To mourn the death of the old

is to deny the birth of the new.

Rather than mourn—rejoice.

For the new is unknown,

and not yet manifest.

Therefore, it is free.

For only in that

which has not yet begun
is the infinite freedom
of that which shall
Begin your journey with your self. Relax your body. Allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into your
seat. Lie back against the cushions and feel their support. As you feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper
into your own body, calm your emotions and ease your mind. Know that you are totally supported in all
that you do.

Listen attentively to hear you Soul's call. It wants to enter your physical form now. It wants you to know
its glory and feel its grace. Your Soul wants to come into a partnership with you. In this partnership, it
will get to directly experience your third dimensional world, and you have its assistance in awakening
your Multidimensional Consciousness.

Would you like to join into this agreement? If so, feel your Soul like a warm blanket that is light, yet
warm and comforting. Wrap this blanket around you. Cover yourself from the tip of you head to the tips
of your toes. Now you can see nothing, except your Self. Now you can hear nothing, except your Self.
You are completely enshrouded in your Self.

As you sink more and more deeply into your seat, feel this blanket of your Soul as it sinks more and
more deeply into your physical form. Feel this blanket of your Soul upon your skin. Yes, there it is, a very
subtle sensation of soft gossamer warmth upon your flesh. It is invisible to others and visible to you only
through your imagination. It is so smooth and light, like your own personal cloud of protection and

Now begin to allow this cloud to melt into your physical form at the same time that it also retains its
shape of a cloud. This may be difficult for you to imagine, but it is a simple task for your Soul. Many
difficult tasks will become simple as you allow your Soul to completely integrate with your physical form.
This integration is beginning at the top of your head. Your Soul is entering the top of your head, through
your crown chakra, your soft spot when you were an infant. You are becoming an infant again, an infant
to your integrated self.

Your Soul is expanding down through your head, past your face, and down into your neck. The world
around you looks different now, as if you are looking through a filter of love and comfort. Your hearing is
also altered. Everything and everyone sounds far away, except for your Self, the self that you have
always found so difficult to hear. Your mind feels empty. There is nothing here to analyze or understand.
All simply IS.

Experience how this cloud blanket is wrapped tightly around your shoulders and across your heart. Your
arms and hands are tucked in tight, securely and safely. This cloud of your Soul sinks into the tops of
your shoulders and the back of your neck. All the burdens of your life are lifted from you as you
surrender them to your Soul. You are, remember, forming a partnership. You can do the work and your
Soul can carry the burden. The burden, which has always been so heavy for you, is infinitesimal for your
As you feel the warmth and protection of your Soul entering your heart, you realize that now you can
love all that you do. The love of your Soul entering your heart expands your ability to love what you do,
love who you are with, and love who you are. Yes, most important of all, your Soul teaches you how to
love yourself.

Wave after wave of euphoric love enters you and, simultaneously, emanating from you. Your breath
calms and slows as the warmth of your Soul enters your lungs. With each slow deep breath, you allow its
essence into your lungs, into your blood stream, and into your heart. Your heart then sends this Soul-
filled blood through your entire system.

This cloud, this blanket of your Soul, extends down across your back, past the small of your back and
around your stomach. The weight of your life is lifted and the nurturing that you seek is fulfilled. Tightly
wrap this blanket across your buttocks, around your hips, and across your lower torso.

Your arms and legs relax with its touch and your feet and hands welcome the calm, loving presence of
the warmth of your Soul. All the stress and strain, all the fear and pain, all the confusion and doubt that
you have felt throughout your life is absorbed into your Soul. Your Soul then breathes it all free,
cleansed and purified.

Your third dimensional form is completely cloaked by your Soul. But your Soul wants more. It wants to
merge with your first and second dimensional self as well. Deeply into your biological matter your Soul
travels, into your flesh, into your muscles, your tendons, your adipose tissue, and into your bones and
bone marrow.

The animal that has housed your life-spark glows with the radiance of Soul. You feel like you have just
been to a spa and you have been messaged with luxuriant oils. Your body hums with health and vitality.
Your organs relax deeply as they feel the warm caress of your Soul and release all toxins so that they can
be transmuted into light. With the entrance of your Soul into your second dimensional body, you can
fully appreciate the earth vessel that has housed your consciousness.

Now your Soul extends its essence into your first dimensional self. Down into your very cellular
structure, into every atom and molecule, your Soul travels. Deep into your DNA it penetrates where it
alters your genetic code so that your physical form can maintain the connection with you
Multidimensional Essence.

For a brief moment of the Nowness, you are in Oneness with all of life. You are a clear, bright crystal, the
foundation for all life, of all manifestation. From this perspective, you are a molecule of Earth, a spec of
the Collective Consciousness of Lady Gaia, the consciousness of Earth. Within that same moment, you
are the core, the point of consciousness that is your Self.

in a flash, your unconscious opens up to you. You go back in time. All the memories that you have
healed welcome you, as they thank you for acknowledging and healing their pain. Old beliefs and
patterns come to your awareness as you see how they have been replaced.
You see your inner child now, who rushes to you to thank you for your recognition and for your love.
Your inner child guides you through the tunnel of light that you have created in the lower Astral Plane
and into the Astral/Emotional plane of the fourth dimension.

Your youngest child and your ageless Soul accompany you as you travel from the first dimension, the
beginnings and endings of all, and into the fourth dimension. In the Astral Plane you feel as though you
are dreaming. Objects and locations shift and waver before you. Every thought and feeling finds an
image or experience for its expression. You walk, jump, float, or fly according to your wish.

Here you see all your loved ones whom you thought you had lost. No, they are not gone; they are here,
or on the higher dimensions. Here, if you wish, you can relive your favorite experiences, or get the
opportunities that you could never achieve on the third dimension. In fact, all that you wish for can
become manifest. But beware, for your fears can manifest just as easily.

Yes, it is much like the third dimension, but your manifestations are more immediate and much more
vivid. The colors here are so bright that they hurt your vision until you have adjusted to them, like
coming from a dark cave into the brightness of day. I

f you desire, these colors will lead you back into the land of Faerie, the land where your child shall
always exist and where your imagination is your greatest treasure. You could stay here for lifetimes, in
fact you have. But your journey is continuing.

As you move into the Mental Plane, the images are not so intense. You experience your environment
through a misty lens, and you experience your mind as pure thought. You are awed by the power of
your thought. It is tangible, breathing, and alive. Conscious awareness of your Self is your greatest

Here you realize that you mind is a machine, and you understand how your mind is truly a computer.
Each of your communications and interactions are like the Internet. Here is your connection to the Word
Wide Web. But, here you do not need an external machine to access the Web. You are the machine. You
are the computer. Here, you compute the reality which you wish to manifest and experiences you wish
to have.

As you move into the Causal Plane, which is the higher octave of the Mental Plane, the environment
becomes more abstract. This plane is like the software that augments the operation of the hardware of
the Mental Plane. This is where the finer abstractions of cause and effect sort themselves out, where
mind and imagination merge into your personal computer program. But who is the programmer?

"It is I," calls your Soul from the threshold of the Spiritual Plane. "Your programmer may, instead, be
your unconscious mind, or your ego. If you allow ME into your consciousness, I shall unite all of you into
the MY Essence. Together we shall be your programmers. But first, you must bring into your Conscious
Mind all that you have experienced."

"But, how can I do that?" you ask.

"You must return now to your physical body and take all that you have learned within your Unconscious
and share it with your Conscious Mind. When you have fully grounded my essence in your conscious
physical form, you may return to me upon the threshold of the Spiritual Plane. Then, I shall take you
across the Rainbow Bridge and into the fifth dimension."

In a flash, you are back, seating on your seat.

"Wow, what a dream," you say as you rub your eyes and stretch your arms. "But, what was that last
thing that my Soul said?"

The corner's turned, the lights are on,

the fear's faced, and the terror's gone.

At least for now, the way is clear

to find the meaning and know the cheer.

Cheer of living, filled with peace

knowing struggle can now cease.

Oh, but once, just yesterday,

the path was closed. There was no way.

No way to rise above the pain

or find the faith to start again.

But then the lights came on inside

and you found there was no need to hide.

You stuck my head outside the door

to see if you could face some more.

Then you saw, in light so bright,

it was inside you held your fright.

The world outside was still the same,

but now you knew more of the game.

Just hold on tight and don't get scared.

You'll only face what you have dared.

Dared to know, down deep inside,

the fears from which you shall not hide.

For what you fear becomes a trap,

without a compass or a map.
It's only when you know your fear
the doorway out becomes more clear.

When you emerge out from that door

you will be changed down to the core.

Deep within, your lessons lie.

You can't avoid them, though you try.

As you begin your quest for peace

you know the journey shall not cease.

But now your Soul can shine its light

upon your path, and on your plight.

The light of Soul will help you see

how you can feel that you are free.

When you have learned what you must know,

You'll find the way to where you'll go.

Then you can take all you have learned

to find the passage you have earned.

This passage leads to life on earth

filled with promise of rebirth.

The corner's turned, the lights are on,

the fear's faced, and the terror's gone.

At least for now, the way is clear

to find the meaning and know the cheer.

Cheer of living, filled with peace

knowing struggle can now cease.

Oh, but once, just yesterday,

the path was closed. There was no way.

No way to rise above the pain

or find the faith to start again.
But then the lights came on inside
and you found there was no need to hide.

You stuck my head outside the door

to see if you could face some more.

Then you saw, in light so bright,

it was inside you held your fright.

The world outside was still the same,

but now you knew more of the game.

Just hold on tight and don't get scared.

You'll only face what you have dared.

Dared to know, down deep inside,

the fears from which you shall not hide.

For what you fear becomes a trap,

without a compass or a map.

It's only when you know your fear

the doorway out becomes more clear.

When you emerge out from that door

you will be changed down to the core.

Deep within, your lessons lie.

You can't avoid them, though you try.

As you begin your quest for peace

you know the journey shall not cease.

But now your Soul can shine its light

upon your path, and on your plight.

The light of Soul will help you see

how you can feel that you are free.

When you have learned what you must know,

You'll find the way to where you'll go.

Then you can take all you have learned

to find the passage you have earned.

This passage leads to life on earth

filled with promise of rebirth.
What does it mean to be "conscious" in the physical plane?
Does it simply mean to be alive or does it mean to also be aware?
And, what are we aware of?
How do we choose which of a myriad of perceptions to "consciously" attend to?

Our physical life is not just what we hold in our daily conscious mind, it is also the ability to be
"conscious" of what we try to hide deep inside ourselves. Some of what we try to hide is memories
stored in our unconscious mind and some of our hidden life is stored in our superconscious mind. To be
truly "conscious" in our mundane life we must also be aware of these other, hidden, portions of our
total consciousness. Otherwise, we will not have access to all of our choices of perception.

Our five senses are constantly bombarded by more stimuli than we could ever consciously attend to.
Therefore, we must filter out most of what we perceive and only be aware of a small portion of our total
life experience. All that we have chosen to ignore is then stored in our unconscious and superconscious

These "perceptual filters" are created by our beliefs, because it is our beliefs that influence our
expectations. In turn, our expectations influence our perceptions. For example, if we believe that the
world is a hostile place, we will expect to see an enemy around every corner. Then, someone comes
around that corner, a normal someone with a vast and paradoxical range of thoughts and emotions.

Since we believe that the world is hostile, we expect to see an angry threatening person. Therefore, we
will be aware of only the portions of that complex person that express anger. We will filter out the
portions that are kind and loving and then "defend" ourselves in an angry fashion. With our fear and
anger we amplify the fear and anger in this stranger. Voila! We have created an enemy, and we have
also reaffirmed our belief that the world is a hostile place.

On the other hand, let us say that our belief is that the world is generally a loving place and that most
people are of good nature. Now, on the very same day, at the very same time, we walk around the same
corner and meet that same complex person. Because we believe the world is generally a loving place,
we expect the approaching person to be friendly. Therefore, we smile warmly and say hello.

Since we are warm and friendly, we amplify the portion of this stranger that is also warm and friendly.
Also, we expect a friendly reply, so we filter out the portion of the person that is frightened or angry and
choose to perceive the portion of the person that is warm. In this scenario, it is likely that that person
will respond in the same manner in which he or she was addressed. Again, we have affirmed our belief
by our expectations and the perceptions arising from those expectations.
Creation of Belief Filters

How were the beliefs that created our filters formed? Belief filters are custom
made based on a hierarchical system. In other words, what is most important
comes first. And, what is most important of all is survival. Inherent in all species is
the fear for survival". Once this fear is activated, we will create systems that
provide a primary coping mechanism so that we can survive.

For example, if you are a person who believes that the world is a hostile place then
you were likely raised in a frightening environment. Your belief system was indeed
necessary for you to reach adulthood. In order to survive early life, you learned to believe that everyone
and everything was a possible threat. Therefore, you expected an enemy everywhere and constantly
prepared for battle. The external danger was then internalized and the battle continued even though
the war was over. Unfortunately, since you are now creating a reality filled with your childhood fear, the
war is NOT over.

On the other hand, if you are a person who believes that the world is a loving place you were likely
raised in a safe and caring environment. Or, perhaps you worked through your early fear and anger and
found a way to believe in love. Either way, you learned to believe that the world is a loving place or, at
least, you learned to believe in the power of love. Therefore, you are now able to filter out the
surrounding negativity and be aware of the positive.

The fact is, not many of us were able to come into adulthood without some fear, anger, loss or pain.
However, if we were somehow able to find love, then we can use our past trauma to recognize real "not
perceived" danger so that we can protect ourselves.

All of us are now experiencing, or have experienced, a reality that was created for us by our families, our
past, and our society. These realities are based on beliefs that were programmed into our
consciousness. Some of these beliefs have assisted us, but some of them have created great limitations
in our ability to expect and perceive the positive and loving aspects of our third dimensional life (see
unconscious section). Our beliefs can be changed, but habit is powerful. The reality that is familiar brings
comfort, even if it is painful. Therefore, how can we break out of the habitual beliefs of the familiar and
dare to step into an unknown and unfamiliar reality?

Changing our Reality

To change our reality we must change our beliefs. We must transmute our beliefs in fear and limitation
into beliefs in love and freedom. When our belief system is based on fear, we feel separate from the
world around us because our view is that everyone and everything may try to harm us. However, when
we learn to believe in love we feel united with the world. Everyone and everything can then be viewed
as a new opportunity to experience love.
Belief in fear and limitation creates a self-image of victim hood, "The world is my enemy and I am its
victim." On the other hand, belief in love and freedom creates a self-image of empowerment,
"Somehow I created my reality and since I created it, I can change it." It is in switching from "living in
fear" to "living in love" that we can alter the basis of our belief systems. Only then can we begin to
change the reality that we experience. This change takes time and experience, but if we can understand
that our experiences are lessons, we can begin our transformation from a dependent victim to a
dependable leader. This transformation has three phases: "dependent," "independent," and

Everyone moves through these stages of consciousness. Since we are all complex people, we often move
through these phases more quickly in some areas of our life and more slowly in others. Usually, it is in
the areas of our life where we have experienced love that we can transform quickly and the areas that
have caused us fear that transform more slowly. Unfortunately, it is these fear-filled areas of our life
that often become our personal nemesis, and we return again and again to address the same old issue
in a new way. Fortunately, we each have only a few of these "stuck" places. These areas of our life are
our greatest challenge yet they also provide the greatest possibility for growth.

Dependent Consciousness

As infants, we have no individuality and are completely dependent upon our caretakers. Without love
and protection from someone outside of us, we will not survive. At this age we are unaware of our
individuality and perceive ourselves as a portion of our parents. We are not yet aware of the separation
that our new physical body creates. When we grow into toddlers we become more aware of our
individuality, but we are still dependent on others for our physical survival and to teach us the rules of
third dimensional reality.

Throughout childhood, our conscious experience of the higher dimensions is often strong because we
have not yet learned to forget "Home". However, our awareness of the physical world around us is
largely limited to the beliefs and perceptions of our families and/or those who raise us. At this point in
our lives, we have a family consciousness. If our family is fearful, we learn fear, and if our family is a
loving family, we learn love.

Independent Consciousness

If our family perceptions are limited to the third dimensional world, they teach us to forget our
"imaginary worlds" by saying, "No, that is impossible," or "It is only your imagination," or, "You must
have dreamed that because it isn’t real." In order to fit into our new and limited physical bodies we
learn to believe that the third dimension is the only "real" world and all our other worlds are "make
believe." Therefore, the beliefs of our families usually become our beliefs and their reality becomes our

When we become teenagers, we learn community consciousness as our awareness expands to include
our friends and their families. Our growing independence gives us the opportunity to become more
individual in our beliefs and in our actions. We then have a chance to release the limiting beliefs that we
accepted from others and recover the childhood memories of our true self.

Some teenagers clutch on to these memories like the secret treasures that they are. Unfortunately,
many of us forgot our true self as we "matured" and "signed" an exclusive third dimensional contract.
Then, much of our adulthood is spent on trying to remember what we knew as a child.

Many of us who were able to maintain a conscious connection to our inner truth suffered abandonment,
abuse, or unpopularity in our developmental years. Since we did not find enough comfort and support
around us, we were forced to go inside to meet our needs. In this manner, our connection to "Home"
was maintained.

As we become young adults, we take more responsibility for our life. If our parents do their job well,
they prepare us bit by bit to become more and more independent. Unfortunately, our independent
thought is too often lost in the conformity and compromise of wanting to "be accepted" and "fit in".
Fortunately, the generation known as the Baby Boomers broke the rules of the collective realty and
fought for their own world. They, in turn, allowed their children more freedom of discovery and
respected their children’s imagination as an expression of his or her personal truth. These children are
now becoming parents themselves and their children are the first generation of this new millennium.

As adults, we expand our vision of reality and begin to develop national consciousness. Our world has
gotten larger now and we are able to move through it "independently." When we marry and have
children or enter more responsible positions in our work, we find that being independent is not enough.
Now we must become dependable.

Dependable Consciousness

The Baby Boomers were born with a mission to prepare the world for the planetary
consciousness of the new millennium. The Goddess energy is awakening from Her
long slumber during the patriarchal rule, and She is calling for an awareness of Her
planet. This awakening of overt female power provides an opportunity for the
blending of the more individual focus of the masculine energy and the more
collective focus of the feminine energy. In this way, we can maintain our personal
identity while we experience the unity with all life that is the core of fifth dimensional

When the Baby Boomers were born in the late 1940’s and 50’s, there were strict rules about what a
woman could do and what a man could do. Now in many areas of the world these rules have been
suspended and men and women are both free to express their creativity in the manner they choose.
With the breakdown of the male/female restrictions, many other limitations are being loosened.

The earth has become a small place and anything that happens anywhere can be instantly
communicated to the entire world. Just as the boundaries defining "appropriate" male and female
behavior have been relaxed, the national boundaries are also growing fainter. When we have planetary
consciousness we see every aspect of nature, everywhere in the world, as an aspect of our own
consciousness. We must then be dependable not just within our home, our job, our community or our
nation, but also within our planet. We must understand that we are in the process of creating the world
in which we live. Once a majority of the planet has achieved planetary consciousness, the mentors and
sages will move into galactic consciousness.

However, even the wisest sage and most powerful mentor has certain areas of his or her life that
operates at a lower stage of consciousness. Many of us who have reached the dependable stage in one
area of life are still barely independent, or are dependent victims, in another area. For example, we may
have children or a responsible job and are still a dependent "victim" to our employers or our mates. Or,
we may be very dependable in our careers and still be a victim to our health or have trouble being
independent with our friends.

We are all complex people who have certain challenges that seem to haunt us through out our lives. As
we look more carefully at each stage of consciousness, we can apply this expansion of awareness to the
many portions of our selves that make up the whole. To be truly dependable, we must know the "enemy
within" for our greatest enemy is the one inside ourselves that we are too arrogant to see. It takes a
very strong person to know their weaknesses.

We must gain a level of mastery within our third dimensional world before we can awaken our
multidimensional consciousness and integrate other dimensions into our conscious awareness. We must
root out the victim from whatever area of our life that we have not mastered and take the responsibility
for our life. We must be fully mature and grounded before we expand our awareness too much.
Otherwise, we can become mentally or physically ill due to the excess of information that is beyond our
ability to understand.

Regardless of chronological age or areas of life, once the victim is liberated and we are dependable
adults, we have the power to go inside ourselves and raise the frequency of our consciousness to
include beliefs, expectations, and perceptions of the higher dimensions. Within every stage of
consciousness is the lesson of becoming aware of and directing both our male and female energies and
learning the laws of cause and effect.

Dependent Areas of Life

Within this stage of consciousness, at whatever age or whatever area of our life, we are the victim and
the reactor. We react to each stimulus without observation or reflection and believe that situations and
people outside of us create each moment. We feel powerless, anxious, or depressed because we believe
that there is nothing that we can do to repair our lives. We are the victim of our circumstances and take
no responsibility for the way that our lives are. We are completely dependent upon others to create our
lives for us.

Our consciousness is of the Maiden in our feminine selves and the Warrior in our masculine selves. Our
lessons are meant to guide us to learn about our own power so that we can gain our independence and
take responsibility for ourselves. We are meant to learn to respond rather than react, for when we are
no longer bouncing off of others we can experience the power that is within us. Then, we can confront
each experience straight on.

The female Maiden within us must learn to respond in a creative manner filled with love. And the male
Warrior within must learn to respond in a powerful and protective manner. In this way, the inner
Maiden can learn the power in receiving information from her own intuitions and the inner Warrior can
learn the love in using his will to protect others.

From choosing our responses, rather than instantly reacting, we learn that every action has a reaction.
By having an awareness of the responses to our responses, we learn how to release our mental state of
victim hood so that we can begin to take responsibility for choices that we make in our life. Our female
side learns that what goes out comes back and our male side leans that if we want to have power, we
must gain our courage by facing our fear. As we learn more about our own power and ability to love, we
become more independent. Through the conscious observation of ourselves, we learn that the world
respects us if we respond to it with love and in a powerful manner.

Independent Areas of Life

Within this stage of consciousness, at whatever age or whatever area of our life, we are the
independent-responder. Our life is improving now as we are gaining some control of our personal
reality. We have a growing awareness of our independence and the individuality that independence
brings us. We begin to realize that we have a choice regarding where we place our attention. This
awareness gives us a sense of power and freedom to choose to respond, interact, ignore, or leave a
situation, person, or experience.

We realize that it is our own choice of responses that create the quality of our third dimensional life.
However, we still perceive only the small picture where the cause and effect resonate only to the third
dimension. Our conscious perception of the other dimensions is not yet remembered. We are still
unable to raise above an experience enough to see the multidimensional picture of cause and effect.
Therefore, we must expand our vision beyond ourselves and learn responsibility for others.
Through our independent choice to be responsible for others we learn about
our own creative force. As we assist in creating a world for others, we see how
we are also creating a better world for ourselves. We now enter the phase of
the Mother and the Father. The inner female Mother must learn to receive and
accept the creative force and patiently gestate it into fruition. The inner male
Father energy must learn to initiate the creative force and then protect it until
it can live on its own.

Slowly we begin to remember our multidimensional nature as we receive information from the first,
second, fourth and fifth dimension with our feminine energy. Then we must integrate what we have
received with our masculine side and manifest it upon the third dimension. Therefore, we learn that WE
are the cause as well as the effect. Once we have learned this, we can release blame "against ourselves
and against others" and replace that blame with responsibility.

The placing of blame, "Why did they do that to me?" creates the shame of, "I don’t have enough power
to stop them." On the other hand, assuming responsibility of, "I created this mess and I will fix it,"
creates a feeling of empowerment. The Mother within uses her love force to pull in the creative force
from within and around her and the Father within uses his power to project this creative project into

Dependable Areas of Life

With this stage of consciousness we are leaders and creators. We have now become the Mentors and
the Sages. Our egos have been so refined that we can begin to surrender the guidance of our "earth
vessel" to our Soul and relegate our egos to being the "Captain" of our physical life. We can do this
because we are learning to integrate our other dimensional selves into our third dimensional
consciousness and to remember our true multidimensional nature. The inner female Mentor and the
inner male Sage are merging into one now as we become more aware of our fifth dimensional selves. In
fact, now all polarities become evident as opposite ends of a spectrum.

Here we learn to use our female Mentor to love, accept and forgive ourselves
UNCONDITIONALLY. Our male Sage then projects these fifth dimensional emotions
into the world. The cause of our reality is now our Soul and the effect is the
grounding of our multidimensional selves into our third dimensional bodies. Our
male and female aspects join into one to learn mastery of our multidimensional
consciousness. Within our first dimensional self we learn the power of the crystal
and the regulation of our own biochemistry through food, meditation, and
exercise. Eventually, we hope to learn the mastery of own our DNA and RNA to
assist us in transmuting our physical bodies.

With the mastery of our second dimensional self we can learn to tame our animal nature and live in
union with Gaia, the consciousness of planet Earth. Our third dimensional self now exists for the service
it can provide to Gaia and all of her inhabitants. Mastery of our fourth dimensional self allows us to
remember our other third and fourth dimensional realities as well as the powers of our "higher human"
self. Our fifth dimensional self can then communicate with us as we work to ground its energy in our
every day life.

At this stage of consciousness we have become mature dependable leaders and creators. We are
consciously aware of our personal programs of limitation and our dark side as well as the light side of
our Higher Selves. This knowledge of our own power and weakness empowers us and allows us to take
responsibility for all of our experiences. We can now see each situation as an opportunity for growth
and spiritual transformation.

We act as role models for others and face the many responsibilities of our physical life in tandem with
and under the direct supervision of our Soul. We constantly and consistently surrender our ego to the
higher guidance of our higher dimensional selves. Because we consistently confront and heal our own
darkness, we live more and more in the light. Negative situations are often stopped long before they
have a chance to develop and those that are not stopped are seen as an opportunity for growth--no
matter how painful they are.

It is from this state of mastery in our third dimensional life that we can experience our multidimensional
self without being overwhelmed. We understand that our spiritual powers come "not from us, but
through us" and we accept that it is our duty to ground the light and to remain a clear vessel.


As we move through these stages of consciousness in our chronological maturity, we

are able to take deeper and deeper looks at ourselves to discover any hidden areas of
our life where the victim rules. Once we have learned that we are not victims, once we
have proven to ourselves that we are the creators of our own reality, we can begin to
create a better life. Then we will not be tossed about by the waves of other people’s
realities. Instead we can learn to accept that, in some way, we have chosen to interface
with these people and these situations. We will have proven to ourselves that it is from
our greatest challenges that we gain our greatest victories.

When we have cleared our unconscious beliefs in limitation we can integrate our superconscious
perceptions into our everyday physical life. Fortunately, many of us have always felt a connection to our
superconscious selves. It has been that connection that has allowed us to release our belief in
victimization and embrace our belief in our own creative power.

Through remembering our true multidimensional nature we expand our consciousness to become more
and more of our total self. The higher we raise our consciousness, the deeper we are aware of our
unconscious secrets until, at last, the lines between conscious, unconscious and superconscious blur.
Then we can experience our full multidimensional reality.
All of this transformation began with the simple shift from belief in fear to belief in the power of love.

The wind blew so hard that I wavered in my stance.

The rain pelted me like a million tiny bullets
threatening to bring me to my knees.

Why just a moment ago,

or was it an hour,
or a day,
or a year,
I was safe,
safe within my groove.

The groove, as I had come to call it,

was not a place.
It was a state of mind,
a calmness of spirit,
a feeling of joy,
a level of consciousness.

The groove was like an indentation in my mind.

A safe, protected feeling that
life could proceed without
the skids and bumps
of struggle.

Like an old time phonograph player,

the needle of my awareness,
could settle into the pattern of the groove
and the melody of my life
would play itself at a steady and uninterrupted pace.

or someone
would bump against me
and send my focus
racing across the surface of my life.
Then a crack would be created in my groove,
a weakness where I could more easily be bumped,
more easily be distracted and disrupted
from the center of my Self.

This nick was a potential moment when I could

fall out of harmony,
fall out of rhythm,
rhythm with my spirit and,
rhythm with my soul.

Then I was exposed again...

exposed to the wind,
exposed to the rain,
exposed to my struggle-
and the struggle of others-
exposed to FEAR.

Yes, fear was that which stole me from my groove.

Fear was that which created the crack
that exposed me to more fear...
fear and the struggle which created
more fear and more struggle.

Within the groove

I was calm,
and peaceful,
and faithful,
and filled with

Within the groove

I could withstand
any storm,
any fear.

But then...
or someone
would bump against my love
and cause me fear.

Once in fear,
my protection was gone,
my peace was gone,
my rhythm was gone.

The fear then became my groove.

This fear made me struggle to escape.

I was trapped in the quicksand
of my own creation and
the more I struggled,
the more I fought,
the deeper I would
sink into the groove of fear.

Only faith could save me then,

faith that love had not deserted me.
Faith that I had not deserted

Could I surrender to the faith

that love had not deserted me
in the midst of fear’s fight?

If I could surrender,
perhaps I could remember that
the wind was not trying to topple me.

Perhaps I could remember then that

it was my own resistance to the winds of change
that threatened to knock me form my feet.

Then I could remember that

the rain was not bullets,
but was instead droplets from above
sent to cleanse that which was soiled
and to feed that which was growing.

If I could surrender to the wind

and allow it to guide me,
if I could surrender to the rain
ad allow it to cleanse and nurture me...

If I could surrender enough

to remember to love...
love the rain,
and yes,
even love the fear
and the struggle it created.

Then my mind could calm,

my spirit could connect,
and my consciousness could rise
above the struggle,
above the pain,
and above the cycle of--
fear creating fear
creating fear...

Then the rains could softly

rinse away my fear
and feed my hope.

The wind could then guide me back,

back into the groove.

Yes I remember NOW.

It was my Soul
that bumped against me.

My Soul created the crack

that had pushed me from my groove
and into the struggle--
into the fear.

But why?
Why would my Soul
expose me to fear

"Because I love you,"

my Soul whispered in the wind.
"Because my love
washes you clean of your fear."
For only in facing your fear
can you remember to grow.

"A groove that is never left becomes a prison.

A fear that is never faced becomes your jailer
. And the love,
that is the key to your cell,
is forgotten!

Remember now
your love,
so you can face your fear

When we are embroiled in the day-to-day fight for survival it is difficult to observe ourselves with any
degree of objectivity. Our victim self is too busy feeling sorry for itself and cannot see the forest for the
many trees that are blocking the way. Therefore, we must climb the three steps that symbolize the
three phases of consciousness so that we can take a close look at ourselves from the unconditional love
that only our multidimensional self can offer.

Within the comfort of this unconditional love, we can unconditionally accept that EVERYTHING that we
have experienced has been a portion of the life that our Soul chose for us to enable us to remember
who we are. There are many of us who have made great strides in the expansion of our consciousness,
but still hold on to an element of victim hood. We must release ALL victimization to move into our true

Once we unconditionally accept that we create our own reality, we are able to unconditionally forgive
everyone and everything that has caused us harm. When we realize that there are NO mistakes and NO
accidents, that everything and everyone in our life has been orchestrated to guide us towards the light,
we can unconditionally forgive and unconditionally accept ourselves. Then, we can project that pure
energy force out into our reality.

We all have a mission that we volunteered for while in our higher dimensional selves. However, from
those planes of light we may have forgotten how dense and difficult the third dimension can be. We
must forgive ourselves for what we have forgotten. If we had not conformed to the life we entered we
may not have survived long enough to fulfill that mission. Now we are almost ready to fulfill that
agreement, but first we must remember it.

Let us climb the three steps of consciousness, revisiting who we have been and anticipating who we
wish to be. As we take this journey, we will remember to remember that our true self is a
multidimensional being of light who was brave enough to enter the third dimensional schoolroom of

Three steps may not seem like much, but many people have spent their entire lives limited to step one
or two. Now imagine that we are moving up these three levels of consciousness until our hearts and
minds have been joined by this inner stairway. It is this journey of heart and mind that creates our
bridge to freedom--freedom to create our own life.


This step is steep indeed and takes much courage to


 You may have lived some of your life here. Perhaps, you still do, at least some of the time. Upon
this stair you feel that you have no ability to control your state of consciousness or your life.

 You react to each stimulus without observation or reflection. Situations, and people outside of
you create each moment and experience. You feel powerless, anxious and depressed because
you believe that there is nothing that you can do to repair your life.

 You are the victim of your circumstances and take no responsibility for the way your life is. You
are completely dependent upon others to create your life for you.


This step is comfortable indeed and only a call from within can
force you on.

 Upon this step your life is improving as you are gaining some control of it. Here you have an
awareness of your independence and the individuality that independence brings you. You now
believe that you have a choice regarding where you place your attention.

 This choice gives you the freedom to choose to respond, interact, ignore, or leave a situation,
person, or experience. You are beginning to realize that it is your own choices and responses
that create the quality of your third dimensional life.

 You still perceive only the small picture where the cause and effect resonate only to the third
dimension. Your conscious perception of the other dimensions is not yet remembered. You are
still unable to raise above an experience enough to see the multidimensional picture of cause
and effect.


Here the rewards are the greatest, but so are the challenges.

 Upon this stair your have grown into the mature, dependable leader and creator that is your
birthright. You are consciously aware of your personal programs of limitation and your dark side
as well as your higher guidance. This awareness allows you to recognize and transmute your
inner "victim" into a strong, dependable "creator".
 You continually seek to expand your own light by addressing and healing your darkness. You see
each situation as an opportunity for growth and spiritual transformation as you surrender all of
your physical life to your Soul.

 You are developing or have developed a multidimensional consciousness, and you quietly face
the many responsibilities of your physical life in tandem with and under the direct supervision of
your higher guidance. You are aware that your consciousness is the creative center from which
all reality manifests, and you unconditionally forgive yourself if your creation has been
challenging or feels "out of your control".

From this place of love and acceptance of yourself and others,

let us look again into the six doors that we visited in the Unconscious Section.
These doors are up an octave from the unconscious doors
and have therefore changed from
red to green.

We stand before the Green Doors knowing that we have turned our life around. We have reached out to
a higher portion of ourselves and our consciousness is rising. We have learned that if we can observe
our reactions to life, we can perceive them as a message from our unconscious self. Body symptoms,
bad dreams, feelings of fear, as well as negative thinking and aberrant behaviors can be observed rather
than lived.

Observation of our actions and reactions release us from denial and victimization. Our denial of, "I’m
fine," and our victimization of, "I can’t change it. It’s not my fault," begin to fade when fault is
transformed into "responsibility". This transformation releases guilt and shame to be replaced by a
sense of empowerment.

Once we have gained a sense of personal power, our unconscious is no longer a dark and foreboding
enemy, and we have enough ego strength to face our inner demons. The six Green Doors are before us
so let’s take a careful look at "conscious life in the third dimension".

The first door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

More positive body sensations make it easier for our conscious mind to perceive cues
about our hidden thoughts and emotions. These physical messages may not be
understood yet, but we have a sense of well-being that encourages communication
between our thoughts and emotions. Our body can feel better now and we do not wish
to taint that feeling with excesses of food, alcohol, or drugs. Our immune system is
healthier. This makes us feel more sociable and we seek the company of others.

The second door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our emotions create mental pictures that awaken our imagination and trigger memories
that encourage further self-development. Positive emotions of love and well-being
surface from behind our pain and fear as feelings of empowerment override the sense of
being a victim. Gradually, we begin to take responsibility for our life. We observe our
emotions as reactions to the external world and messages regarding the internal
condition of our body and psyche. Love, more than fear, comes into our emotions now.

The third door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our thoughts come into focus, as our self-talk becomes conscious. This ability allows us
to take responsibility for our thoughts and we realize that we can choose the thoughts
that we wish to dwell on in our minds. We learn that when we choose to think positive
our self-confidence grows and our thinking shifts from problem-oriented to solution-
oriented. Old core beliefs break down and we respond with new behavior rather than
acting in old habitual ways. When we are no longer victims, we can respond rather than react because
we think before we speak or take action.
The fourth door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our behaviors are based on emotional needs and mental forethought as our reactions
evolve into responses. Behaviors that are consciously initiated and completed give our
conscious mind clues as to our true goals and desires. We can then seek out what we
really want rather than what we "should" want or what other want for us. As past fear,
pain, and negative programming is released, our behavior is appropriate to the situation
rather than a projection from our fears. Therefore, we have more positive and successful experiences
that builds our self-esteem. We learn to take responsibility for ALL our behavior, which is now more
loving and unselfish.

The fifth door is marked:


We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

Our sleep is more regular now and our level of dreaming has shifted from the uncovering
of negative feelings to rehearsing our next move in our everyday life. If we can maintain a
higher stage of consciousness, we can even think of our "nightmares" as an opportunity
to consciously clear feelings that we have repressed in the past. Often our rehearsal
dreams will also assist in making us aware of thoughts and emotions that we are too busy
to notice when we are awake.

As we keep our contract with ourselves to complete our mundane tasks in a timely manner, we feel
better about ourselves. We begin to build a trust that we can dare to do more. This trust encourages us
to connect with the aspirations that come to the surface of our consciousness via dreams, mental
pictures, and emotional yearnings.

The sixth door is marked:

We knock.

As the door opens, a message is displayed:

More balanced thoughts and feelings bring about a sense of deserving that allows
spiritual feelings of grace and joy to grow. Because we can now connect with our fourth
dimensional self, our instincts are keener and our creativity and inspirations have
expanded. Our self-esteem grows as we begin to trust that we can keep ourselves above
mere survival level. We are discovering ways to rise above, and move through, negative
situations as our expanded communication with our multidimensional self awakens our need for love
and deeply intimate relationships.

Our feelings of victimization have so diminished that we no longer hold judgment and anger against
others or ourselves. We have begun to observe our body, emotions, thoughts and behaviors from a
higher portion of our consciousness, which allows us to release our shame and take full responsibility for
the life we have created. Our illusions have become our imagination and our spiritual guidance has
become a portion of ourselves rather than a being that resides far away and high above.


The first door is marked: PHYSICAL BODY

We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:

As we expand our consciousness of our physical, third dimensional life, we receive more positive body
sensations because we are no longer hiding from our thoughts and emotions. This communication
between our conscious and unconscious selves gives us more of a sense of well-being.

Our body feels better now and we do not wish to taint that feeling with excesses of food, alcohol, or
drugs. Our immune system is healthier because we no longer have the stress of sitting on a volcano of
suppressed emotions and negative thoughts. This makes us feel more sociable and we seek the
company of others.

In the Unconscious Section, we learned how to remember, and experience, our fourth dimensional
selves and those portions of our third dimensional memories locked in the forgotten archives of our
unconscious mind. Now we must begin the life-long process of learning how to integrate our
“unconscious selves” with our conscious life so that we can form a strong base in which to ground our
superconscious selves.
Fortunately, men and women of today are learning to stand eye to eye as women are beginning to
discover and express their masculine side while men are beginning to discover and express their
feminine side. Because of this, the third dimensional rules of polarity and separation are being loosened
and the collective consciousness of humanity is beginning to embrace this multidimensional
consciousness. Through multidimensional consciousness, we begin to be aware of more and more of the
“higher” perceptions that we were born with yet forgot as we “grew up”.

However, we must first develop a sense of power and mastery over our third dimensional world. As our
consciousness changes, so do our physical bodies. We must slowly prepare them to integrate the
expanded perceptions of our fourth and fifth dimensional selves. Since we have moved to the third stair,
we can be more objective about our physical body and our physical life. From the position of the
observer, we can closely examine the workings of our consciousness.


Consciousness is the experience of “Be-ing” which represents everything that is possible for us to
experience. All of our senses, perceptions, and possible states of awareness can be divided into seven
categories that are associated with each of the seven chakras.

 First chakra is survival, vitality and grounding to physical life

 Second chakra is emotions, nurturing and shelter

 Third chakra is thoughts and power systems

 Fourth chakra is love, health and relationships

 Fifth chakra is communication and higher creativity

 Sixth chakra is inspiration, imagination and spiritual power

 Seventh chakra is unity with multidimensional consciousness

The chakras represent not only a particular part of our body, but also a part of our consciousness. Each
chakra represents how our unconscious and superconscious selves communicate with our conscious
 First chakra rules the skeleton, legs, knees and feet

 Second chakra rules the genitals, abdomen and lower back

 Third chakra rues the liver, gall bladder, stomach, spleen and pancreas

 Fourth chakra rules the heart, lungs, immune system, arms and hands

 Fifth chakra rules the throat, mouth, speech and hearing

 Sixth chakra rules the vision, face, head, sleep and dreams

 Seventh chakra rules the brain and nervous system

Tensions that are felt in our consciousness are also felt in our body via the chakra system. Conversely,
tensions that are felt in our body are felt in our consciousness.

In other words, if we were having a:

First chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with our daily survival, vital energy or dedication

to physical life

 Body as problems with our skeleton, legs, knees or feet.

Second chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with our emotions, ability to give or receive

nurturing, or our home.

 Body as problems with our reproductive organs, intestines or lower back.

Third chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with thinking and power struggles with others or
within our self

 Body as problems with our liver, gall bladder, stomach, spleen or pancreas

Fourth chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties giving or expressing love in our relationships and

our over-all health

 Body as problems with our heart, lungs, immune system, arms or hands

Fifth chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with communication and creativity

 Body as problems with our throat, mouth, speech or hearing

Sixth chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with inspiration, imagination and spiritual power

 Body as nightmares or problems with our vision, face, head or sleep

Seventh chakra problem: it would express through our

 Consciousness as difficulties with mind expansion

 Body as problems with our brain or nervous system

The Physical Body Door in the Conscious Section represents the heart chakra. The life force of the
physical body is thought by many cultures to be held in the heart. The heart is also thought of as the
center of our ability to love. Indeed, as we move up the chakras to the fourth chakra—the heart
chakra—we have moved past the areas of our consciousness that are too often “unconscious” to us and
into the areas of our life that are primarily “conscious”. These are the areas of our daily interactions with
others and with the world around us.

Our happiness, or lack of it, arises from whether these encounters are filled with fear or filled with love.
These encounters begin within ourselves. If our consciousness is filled with fear then many of our
encounters with the outside world will be fearful. On the other hand, if our consciousness is filled with
love then many of our encounters with the outside world will be loving.

Definition of Consciousness

Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language defines consciousness as: “the state of being
conscious; awareness, especially of what is happening around you and the totality of one’s thoughts,
feelings, and impressions.”

Consciousness, therefore, encompasses our external as well as our internal reality. Cognitive science
defines consciousness as a phenomenon that is explained in terms of computational or neural
mechanisms such as:

 The ability to discriminate, categorize and react to environmental stimuli

 The ability to access internal stimuli

 The integration of information by a cognitive system

 The focus of attention

 The difference between wakefulness and sleep

 The deliberate control of behavior

The Western world is more apt to define consciousness as the ability to be aware of external events that
are recognized by the five primary senses. On the other hand, the Eastern world is more inclined to say
that one is a “conscious being” if one has the ability to be aware of inner events that are recognized by
our higher sense organs.
Consciousness and Perception

The next question is, “What is the mind conscious of?” In other words, of the myriad
internal and external stimuli, what do we perceive and hold in our conscious mind?
Our physical conscious reality is perceived by our five senses: vision, hearing, taste,
smell, and touch. However, our five physical senses are limited to a small segment of
the total spectrum of light, sound, etc., and even this small segment is much more than
we can consciously register. Therefore, we must filter out most of our perceptions and
send them to our unconscious and our superconscious minds. Thus relegated, this
information can be called upon when it is needed.

What is this filtering system? Physiologically and anatomically this mechanism is the Reticular Activating
System (“RAS”). The word reticular means “net-like” and the neural reticular formation itself is a large,
net-like diffuse area of the brainstem. The brain’s RAS controls arousal, attention, and awareness – the
elements of consciousness itself. The brain’s Reticular Activating System manages how we interpret,
respond, and react to both internal and external information. The RAS acts as a filter, similar to one on a
camera or a microphone, that filters out certain frequencies of light, sound, or other perceptual stimuli.
Most stimuli will be filtered out and sent to either the unconscious or the superconscious mind. The
stimuli that pass through this filter will be imprinted on the conscious areas of the cerebral cortex.

Our physical senses recognize stimuli by senses as frequency and intensity. We cannot consciously
perceive a stimulus that is above or below a certain frequency band. For example, we can only perceive
light above infrared and below ultraviolet. The stimulus is still there, but we can only perceive it
unconsciously through our first, second and lower fourth dimensional bodies or superconsciously
through our higher fourth and fifth dimensional bodies.

We also cannot consciously perceive stimuli with intensity below the threshold of our physical
receptors. There may be a sound at 5 decibels, but if our threshold of hearing for that sound is 10
decibels, we will not consciously hear it. We also learn to adapt to familiar stimuli. For example, some
one who has lived next to a train track for years may not even notice the train going by whereas
someone new to the area may perceive it as being very loud.

Experience and Consciousness

Robert Ornstein, in his book The Psychology of Consciousness, talks about

consciousness as a constructed reality. He believes that in order to create a stable,
manageable environment, a sensory-filtering system develops from childhood and is
continually shaped by subsequent situations. Therefore, our experience of conscious
reality is actually only a representation of that which we choose to experience. Our
personal history of experience creates a belief system that defines our personal

Beliefs define our experience because they create our filters. Filters are custom- made, based upon a
hierarchal system, and that which is most important comes first. How do we determine what is most
important? The third dimension is based on survival. Therefore, that which is most important is that
which will facilitate survival. Survival is a relative term and is dependent upon the circumstances of one’s
reality. If someone is a street person, survival means finding edible food in the trashcan. On the other
hand, if someone is a stockbroker, survival may mean knowing the stock market.

That which is familiar is also important. Therefore, we filter in what is familiar because it brings comfort
and a sense of security. This sense of security is vital because it eases our fear. Fear is not overcome by
bettering our life. Fear is a key element of third dimensional life because there is always some possibility
of danger. We seek to register what is familiar because it calms our anxieties, and we are startled by
what is unfamiliar because it creates a release of adrenalin and a subsequent feeling of fear.

Beliefs and Expectations

Our belief system, which is based upon our history of experience, creates our expectations
because we expect to perceive what is familiar and/or dangerous first. This expectation
greatly influences our perception. A street person may not believe that he can survive off
the stock market so would not “choose to” notice the newspaper article on the stock
market before him. On the other hand, a stockbroker may not believe that he can survive by recycling
cans and therefore may not notice the discarded can before him. Belief creates expectations and
expectations direct perceptions.

Beliefs also create our world-view and world-views create beliefs. For example, the Western and
scientific worldview believes that matter is the ultimate reality, the primary basis of existence, and
consciousness is a phenomenon stemming from matter. However, the Eastern and esoteric worldview
believes that consciousness is the ultimate reality and the physical universe is a projection of that.
Therefore, those who believe in the Western and scientific worldview believe that only the third
dimension exists, and they tune their filters to align with the frequency of the world of matter. Those
who believe in the Eastern or esoteric worldview believe in multiple dimensions, and they tune their
filters to encompass the frequencies of the non-material realities.

Because of these beliefs, the scientific world has focused its primary attention on the intellect with its
logical, reasoning powers and the perceptions of the physical senses. Conversely, the esoteric world has
focused its primary attention on inner self and the perceptions of the higher senses.

Attention and Perception

Where your attention is, there you are also. But what is attention? We can perceive many
things without attending to them. There are many events that make up our conscious experience of life,
yet most of them form a backdrop that is the environment in which we live. It is not until we observe
our “self” focusing our attention that we become intimately aware of it. For example, we can hold a
book on our lap and know that it is filled with letters. We know that those letters create words and
sentences. However, until we take the initiative and choose to focus our attention upon those letters,
we do not know what they say.

In other words, perception is a triangular circuit. The first point of the triangle is our sensory preceptors
which carry the information to our brain. Then that perception must clear our filter for it to even be a
part of our conscious environment. Thereafter, for that perception to move above the normal
“wallpaper” of our world, we must impinge upon it the conscious intention of our self-awareness. It is
this awareness of our self focusing our concentration upon a given stimulus which creates attention.

This “attention” differentiates:

 Knowing that there is music on from listening to music

 Hearing someone talking from having a conversation

 Noticing a birdcall from bird watching

It is this “attention” that creates learning and intimacy. We will not learn from a person or an experience
unless we experience it intimately. Without a conscious sense of self it is difficult, if not impossible, to
experience this intimacy. From the Western/scientific world-view “self” would mean Ego and from the
Eastern/esoteric world-view “self” would mean Higher Self. As we expand our consciousness to
remember our true multidimensional self, we are able to broaden our attention to encompass both

Love and Fear

There are two feelings that also dictate our perceptions: the feeling of fear, in this
case encompassing all uncomfortable feelings, and the feeling of love, in this case
encompassing all pleasurable feelings. Love and fear have much to do with our
development of intimacy, as we tend to move away from what we fear and move
towards what we love.

However, this can be very confusing because often the two feelings are
intermingled. For example, we may love to ski but fear that we will become
injured. We may also feel love for another person but feel that he or she will hurt
us. This is where our heart chakra is called upon to assist us in following what we
love without becoming lost in our fear. Also, it is our experience of conscious life that will help us
differentiate from between the fear that is paranoia and the fear that is a warning.
If our personal history has been such that whenever we have allowed ourselves to move towards love
we have been hurt, then it is likely that fear fills our consciousness. Therefore, our heart may be filled
with fear. In this case, we may suffer from ailments that are associated with our heart chakra, and our
general immune system may be compromised. That is the origin of the saying that one has a “broken
heart”. It is then that we must find a way to release our history of pain and fear so that we can take the
chance on love.

Often the search for love is lost in the search for acclaim, power and personal wealth. The heart chakra
also rules relationships. The development of intimate, loving relationships takes time and unselfish
dedication to another. It also takes an ability to deeply love ourselves for we cannot give away what we
do not possess. Acclaim, power and personal wealth are not negative, but they are bittersweet indeed if
we cannot share them with a loved one.

Our true fifth dimensional self is androgynous with male and female polarities living within one body.
When we incarnate in the lower dimensions we must take on either a male or female body because
limitation and separation are the foundations of third dimensional consciousness. While we are
confined to this state of consciousness, we cannot accept the limitless experience of two polarities
united within the same form. However, a part of us yearns for that reunion with our other half—our
Divine Complement. We seek out relationships with others to complete ourselves but find instead that
our relationships with others are mirrors of our relationship with ourselves. If we want true love with
another, we must learn first to truly love ourselves.

“What is love?” he asked her with a glint of anger in his eyes and a touch of sadness in his voice.

“Love…”she answered slowly and with confidence, “…lasts.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?’ he snarled, no longer attempting to disguise his anger.

She smiled sweetly, choosing to ignore his anger. She knew, of course, that it was really sadness. She did
not know why he was sad, but she knew that he was sad. She felt it. She felt his sadness like an anchor in
her heart.
Finally, after much thought, she answered him, “What that means is that love, true love, is
Unconditional. Unconditional love lasts even though you may not understand, even though you may not
agree, and even though you may feel differently. Unconditional love lasts, through all the fear, through
all the sorrow, and through all the anger. Unconditional love lasts because it is unconditional. One does
not have to want it or even earn it, or desire it. Unconditional love is free.”

“Ha,” he smirked. ”Now I really don’t understand you. I have never received anything for free—NEVER.”
He yelled the final never.

“Are you sure?” she questioned him.

He tried to lash out at her again, but he made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Well maybe it was
not a mistake. Maybe it was a blessing. Yes, that was it. He looked into her eyes and he received a
blessing. It was a blessing of love. This love had no judgment, no restraint, and no limitation.

When he looked into her eyes, the love he felt made him completely forget his anger and his pain. His
fear was gone and so were all the walls that his fear had created.

He felt naked, vulnerable, open and alive. He closed his eyes, just for a moment he thought, so that he
could drink in the feeling and allow it to enter every atom of his body. But when he broke contact with
her gaze, he lost it all—all the love—all the acceptance—all the forgiveness—GONE!

Gone from his experience, but not from his memory.

He tried to be angry, but the memory of that love soothed him like a tender touch. He tried to be afraid,
but the memory of that love protected him like his walls of fear once had.

He tried to doubt the experience, to judge it, criticize it, but for once in his life, his heart was louder than
this mind,

His mind tried to doubt, but his heart reassured.

His mind tried to question, but his heart understood.
His mind tried to forget, but his heat remembered.
His mind tried to race ahead, but his heart was calm.

From his heart he asked, ”Why did the feeling go when I closed my eyes?”

She smiled.

She would not answer that question. She put her arms around his neck and laid her head against his
heart. She melted into him, forgave, him, accepted him—unconditionally.

And then he was awake. Or maybe he was really asleep and that woman, that angel, was real.

“Huh”, his mind said. “Get up its time to go to work. You have important things to do, important people
to meet. These people will bring you recognition, fame, and money. Forget that dream. It’s a
He was awake now and he forgot the memory in his heart and listened instead to the logic of his mind.
That silly dream had made him late. He had to rush through his shower, throw on his expensive three-
piece suit, grab a cup of coffee and shave in the car.

He went through his day in a flurry of activity.

Deals were made, moneys were earned, and contracts were signed.

He was important.
He was successful.
He was rich,
and he was ALONE.

He went through all of his important meetings—alone.

He had a romantic dinner with a beautiful woman—alone.
Later he had passionate sex with her—alone,
and fell asleep wrapped in her arms—alone.

At 4:00 AM he crawled from her bed and put on his expensive suit, left her penthouse like a thief in the
night, got into his BMW and drove to the ocean. He did not know why, but he had to go to the ocean. He
was remembering something, something in his heart.

He parked the car just before the first light of dawn. He took off his Italian shoes and his tailored suit
and silk shirt. He grabbed a swimsuit that he kept in the trunk and ran onto the beach. He didn’t stop
until he had immersed himself in the ocean.

Then he lay on the cold sand and felt it cover his wet skin and get into his hair. He looked up into the
sky. It was pale gray and misty. The sun was barely lighting the sky.

He was alone. But wait. Was He?

There was a feeling, yes a feeling, he had had just yesterday, or was it a lifetime ago. What was it? It was
a feeling he had in his heart, a memory, a desire. He desired something that he could not achieve, or win
or buy. He desired a memory that was lost, lost in a lifetime of anger, sadness and fear.

Yes he, Mr. Strong, Mr. Smart, Mr. Rich, was afraid.

He knew now that he was afraid. He felt it.

Was that the feeling? Was that the memory?

Depressed and desolate, he dragged himself to his car.

He had left the keys in the ignition.

He did not care. It was only a thing.

He sat his wet and sandy body heavily on the leather seat.

He did not care. It was only a thing.

He slammed the car door so hard that it rattled the windows.

He did not care.

He cared for NOTHING,

except…there was the feeling, the memory.

A memory of someone—a woman—NO, an angel.

Where was she?
Who was she?

He sighed and reached for the ignition. It seemed to take all his strength to turn the key and put the car
into reverse.

“Oh great,” he muttered to himself, “I knocked the rearview window out of position.” He reached up to
move it when he realized that not one time in his busy day or busy evening had he looked, really looked,
into a mirror.

Not one time had he looked at himself.

The light was still dim and it took a few moments for his eyes to focus on what he saw.

Then, with a gasp and a shot of recognition, he saw the eyes—


Then he remembered the feeling, the feeling of unconditional love.

It was a long moment before he regained his reason.

It was a long moment before he realized that the eyes he looked into were actually his own.

But inside his eyes was a glint.

He was not alone!

“I am with you always,” she said inside his heart.


Brainwaves and Consciousness

Brainwaves, like all waves, are measured in two ways. The first is frequency, or speed of electrical
pulses. Frequency is measured in cycles per second (cps or HZ), ranging from .5cps to 38cps. The second
measurement is amplitude, or how strong the brainwave is. There are four categories of brainwaves:
Beta, Alpha, Theta, and Delta. When we are accessing our multidimensional self we are able to use a
combination of all four brainwaves.


Beta waves represent our ability to consciously process our thoughts. We spend most of our waking
moments in Beta waves, in which our brainwaves pulsate at between 13 and 39 cycles per second. In
this state, our attention is focused on the day-to-day outside world. We are largely focused on the
logical, sequential activity of the left hemisphere because the brain is busy processing myriad
information that has arrived through our five senses.

If all this information is not put into some kind of order, we will become confused and overwhelmed.
The voice of our inner self can still be dimly heard, but it is like trying to talk to someone in a loud and
busy airport. You may be able to hear, but it is difficult to understand what is being said.

Beta brainwaves are conducive to stimulating thinking and action. Most of our current education is beta
geared, and is characterized by logical, analytical, intellectual thinking and written or verbal
communication. Beta waves are the predominant brainwaves in our everyday life. Without Beta waves
we would not be able to function in the outside world.


Alpha Waves have a bridging capacity between our conscious and unconscious/superconscious minds,
as well as a vivid imagery, and relaxed, detached awareness. When we completely relax, we shift into
Alpha waves, which are between 8 and 12 cps. Alpha waves are slower in frequency than Beta, but have
greater amplitude. A person who takes time out to reflect, or meditate or take a break from an activity is
often in an alpha state. When we concentrate intently on one thought, emotion, or activity we have less
stimuli to process and our brains can go into Alpha waves. With Alpha wave consciousness we are not
bound by time and space as we are in Beta Waves. This frees our left-brain’s logical, sequential
organization and allows us to also access our more creative and intuitive right brain.

Our right brain thinks in pictures and sounds that are not bound by human language. Because of this,
our thoughts, feelings, and/or activities are usually creative in nature such as dancing, writing, watching
a good play or listening to enjoyable music. There are fewer distractions now and it is easier to hear our
own inner voice. It is in this state that we have our moments of “A-ha”. Many performers, artists,
scientists, and athletes consciously or unconsciously put themselves into Alpha state to achieve their
inspiration and best performance.

Alpha brainwaves are conducive to creative problem solving, accelerated learning, mood elevation and
stress reduction. Intuitive insights, creative juices, inspiration, motivation, and daydreams characterize
Alpha waves. These waves are relaxed yet alert. Therefore, they provide a bridge between our conscious
and unconscious and/or superconscious minds.


Theta waves are our unconscious creativity, inspiration and spiritual connection. Theta waves, 4 to 7
cps, are associated with the deepest experiences of meditation and creativity. Theta waves are even
slower than Beta or Alpha and are typically of even greater amplitude. When we narrow our focus
primarily to our inner self, we can go into Theta waves. In this state it is difficult to maintain conscious
contact between our physical body and the outside world. To maintain this state of consciousness we
must keep our bodies still because we are so focused on our inside world that it would not be safe to
move around in the physical world.

In fact, the mere act of opening our eyes or listening to the exterior world could bring in too much
stimuli and shift our consciousness back to the faster brainwaves. It takes an experienced meditator to
achieve this state, and then, even more practice to bring the information we gain in that state back to
our conscious mind. To achieve this, we must be able to communicate this experience to our language
centers so that we can “save” it to our cerebral cortex.

Most often this Theta state is achieved only while sleeping and, as we all know, it is often difficult to
bring the memory of our dreams into our waking life. When we do so, it is in our right brain, symbolic,
imagistic language and not in the logical, sequential language of our left-brain. It is the bridging effect of
the Alpha waves that can bring our Theta wave perceptions into our conscious mind. Taking time to
relax upon waking, or writing and/or drawing after a deep meditation can carry the memory of our
Theta wave experiences into our Beta wave thoughts.

Theta brainwaves are conducive to profound inner peace, mystical truths, transformation of
unconsciously held limiting beliefs, creating a better quality of life, physical and emotional healing, and
finding our purpose and quality of life. They are characterized by a kind of knowing that feels like inner
wisdom, faith, meditation, psychic abilities and the retrieving of unconscious material. Theta provides
the “peak” in the peak experience.


Delta waves are our superconscious empathy, interaction and radar connection to our full
multidimensional perception. Delta waves are of the greatest amplitude and the slowest frequency.
They usually range from .5 to 4 cps. They never go down to zero because that would mean that we were
dead. In this state of consciousness our bodies are in hibernation mode. In fact, Delta waves are often
associated with one being in a coma. Practiced yogis can consciously achieve this state. While in Delta
brainwaves they are able to regulate their body temperature and heart rate. They may even appear to
be dead, but they are able to revive themselves.

Delta Waves are the deepest level of dreamless sleep in which our bodies shut down. It is in this state
that our bodies can completely focus on healing and growing. Delta brainwaves are conducive to miracle
type healing, divine knowledge, inner being and personal growth, rebirth, trauma recovery, oneness
with the universe (samadhi), and near death experiences. Delta provides intuition, empathic
attunement, and instinctual insight.


When we fall asleep our brain shifts gears and our brainwaves begin slowing down. We start at Beta
then go down to Alpha, Theta and then Delta. When we wake up, our brainwaves change in the reverse
order of Delta, Theta, Alpha and finally Beta. Just as we unconsciously change our brainwaves in sleep,
we can learn to consciously change our brainwaves while we are awake.

 To keep our brains in an effective Beta pattern, we can determine to narrow our focus to a few
things at a time, and choose not to allow ourselves to indulge in obsessive or fearful thinking.

 We can take time out to relax, contemplate our lives and enjoy our creativity to induce Alpha

 We can meditate and/or pray and place our total focus upon our inner Self on a regular
rhythmic basis to induce Theta waves.

 We can get plenty of sleep, “Let go and let God”, and surrender to our Soul to induce Delta

It is important to put aside a time at least three to five days a week to spend inside with your SELF. This
meditation CD was created to assist you in that process.

If we can put aside that special time, we can learn to gain a conscious mastery over our thoughts and
emotions while living our everyday life. We can then realize that we choose our consciousness by
choosing the thoughts and emotions we allow to linger in our mind. If we allow fear to dictate our
thinking and surrender to feelings of fear, our consciousness will be overwhelmed by the myriad stimuli
around us supporting that choice of fear.

Our Beta waves will then become rapid and erratic as our awareness darts from enemy to enemy like a
frightened rabbit. However, we are not rabbits. We have the ability to calm our thoughts and release
our fear by focusing on love and calling to our higher guidance for protection and wisdom. This inner
focus instantly lowers our brainwaves. With practice, we can learn to take a few deep breaths and call
on our guidance and/or chant or visualize our mantra.

A mantra is an inner or outer visual picture and/or a positive sentence that can be used to filter out fear
and negative thinking. For example, a visual mantra may be a symbolic picture of a favorite place, a
loved one, or a pet that evokes a positive feeling of peace and love. Verbal mantras work best if they are
in first person, present tense. For example: I am successfully fulfilling my goal. If the mantra is in the
future tense (I will successfully fulfill my goal.) it can be like a carrot on a stick that is never obtained. A
mantra is used to “edit out” negative thoughts and feelings by shifting our focus from the negative
thoughts and/or feeling to the positive mantra.

When we receive fearful thoughts and feelings, either from our inner or our outer world, we can use our
mantra to regain our balance in love. It is best if we choose a mantra that is associated with the fear. For
example, if the fear is that we will not achieve our goal, our visual mantra is a picture of our achieving it,
the verbal mantra is “I am achieving my goal” and the feeling is one that is associated with the
fulfillment of that goal.

If we can identify the fear before it is amplified by our conscious or unconscious attention, we can take a
moment to close our eyes (limit our focus), take a deep breath (breath through the fear), and visualize a
picture that is the antidote for our fear (choose another “channel”) while we say our verbal mantra and
allow the positive feelings of love to override the fear. Once we have regained our footing in love, we
can look again at the fear from our objective self. Does this fear carry a warning? If it does, then we can
listen to the warning, act appropriately, and release the fear.


Our different brainwaves are similar to channels on the radio. Our mind is the carrier
wave that carries the message from our multidimensional self that is in the broadcast
studio (higher dimensions). All the stations (brainwaves) are sending their messages
ALL the time and we receive whichever “channel” we dial into. When we learn to
calibrate our consciousness to the different brainwaves, we set our expectations and
our perceptions to the reality that vibrates at that wavelength. For example:

Our “beta reality” would be one of many decisions and actions and our perceptions
would be calibrated primarily to the third dimension.
Our “alpha reality” would be one of creativity, artistic focus and relaxation, and our perceptions would
include the fourth dimension along with our third dimensional reality.

Our “theta reality” would be deeply spiritual and introspective and our perceptions would primarily be
fourth and fifth dimensional.

Our “delta reality” would be focused on our non-physical reality and our perceptions would be from our
Light bodies—our Higher Selves. As we remember our multidimensional consciousness, we will be able
to live all the above realities at once.

Even though our brains are the radio, it is best to let our Heart Chakra choose the channel. There is
much fear in the world and in our psyches. One of the most difficult aspects of learning to use our
multidimensional perceptions is to differentiate the fear that is a warning from the fear that is paranoia.
If we can learn to perceive our reality through our Heart Chakra, our fear will be greatly limited to
warning fears. Then we can learn to listen for LOVE.

“Where is love?” she asked the sky.

It did not answer.

The sky had no voice.
It merely looked back at her with its invisible eyes,
but it did surround her.

It did give her vital oxygen and protection from the harsh rays of the sun.
It provided for her an atmosphere where she could learn and grow.

However, it was silent.

It simply WAS!

“Where is love?” she asked the ground.

The ground did not have a voice.

It spoke a different language—the language was of the many.

The squirrels chirped,

the waters babbled,
the insects buzzed and
the sky spoke through the earth as it moved the leaves upon the earth’s trees.

But still her question was unanswered.

Yes, she walked upon the earth.

Yes, it proved to be a place where she could learn and grow.
Was love there—just being, just growing
like the plants and animals around her?

No, love was more, she determined.

Learning and growing were often painful.

Where is love?” she asked inside—inside herself.

At first there was no voice—only a feeling.

The feeling was agitated, anxious, and unstable.
But she continued asking her inner question.

The feeling calmed.

It became more balanced—more stable.
The agitation left and the anxiety began to be replaced with…what?

There was a feeling,

a new feeling that she could not describe.
A feeling that she had no language for.

It was then that she heard the voice.

The voice was just a whisper at first and she could not understand it.

She turned all of her attention inside herself.

She closed her eyes so that she could not see the sky or the ground.

She focused her hearing internally so that she could not hear the water,
or the breeze rustling through the trees.

All she heard now was the inner whisper.

The whisper now became a voice.

It was a still, small voice,
but it did have a language—it was her language.

The voice spoke to her.

”Love is peace,” it said.

“Love is calm and time to look into the sky and lay upon the land.
Love is the ability to look inside and know your SELF.

“Feel me now—feel my voice.

Feel how my tone is filled with understanding.
Feel how my words are filled with acceptance.
“Now, my one,
my beloved one,
feel how my voice is filled with LOVE.

“Hear my voice of love and know that you need not search for love.
Love lives inside—inside the voice—inside your heart.

“We are ONE

One voice
One form
One love

Feel the me that you are inside and

you will always find love.”


Beta waves, ranging from 13-40 cps or Hz, represent our everyday, normal state of
consciousness, which is focused primarily on external stimuli. Nobel Prize Winner, Sir
Francis Crick and other scientists believe that the 40 Hz Beta frequency may be the
brainwave that represents the act of cognition because 40 cps or Hz corresponds with
how long our neurons typically stay phase-locked on one stimulus.

Dr. Rodolfo Llinas, professor of neuroscience at New York University, believes that the
40 cps waves serve to connect structures in the cortex where advanced information
processing occurs with the thalamus in the lower brain region, at the location that complex relay and
integration functions are carried out. However, all these stimuli are not accessible with our conscious
awareness. Of the myriad stimuli that enter our brain, which information will be integrated in our
conscious mind and which information will be stored in our unconscious and superconscious for future

Beta wave information that is usually directed to our everyday conscious mind is:

1) Information that is important for survival

2) Information that is familiar
3) Information that is expected
4) Information that is desired

The short, fast Beta brain waves are bound by the logical, sequential, “time-bound” rules of the third
dimension. Information that cannot be placed into a sequential or cause-effect pattern will go into the
Unconscious because the confusion this information causes would interfere with survival. However, if
the stimuli become familiar, they can then be processed in the Beta waves and integrated into the
information of our daily life.

Information that is expected and/or desired may also be routed to the conscious mind even though it
may not be “time-bound.” For example, if we are interested in the parapsychological or metaphysical,
we not only believe that stimuli can be received from other dimensions, we expect and desire it.
Therefore, we can integrate this information into our mundane reality.

Beta wave information that is usually directed to the unconscious mind is:

1) Information about our physical body

2) Information about our emotions
3) Information about our ego/self
4) Information about others

Most of this information will be “reactions” to our physical life. If we are a “conscious person,” meaning
that we can maintain some degree of inner focus while we go about our daily life, we may be able to
consciously perceive these “unconscious” reactions.

The Western mind often focuses the concept of “self” in our minds rather than our bodies. Therefore,
we tend to give more importance to information about our mental well-being than our physical well-
being, that is until we become injured or sick. Then any information that we receive about our body
becomes VERY important. It is the same with our emotions. Just as we do not perceive the information
from our bodies until we get sick, we often are not aware of our emotions until they are out of our

Beta wave information that is usually directed to the superconscious mind is:

1) Information about our higher SELF

2) Information about the Collective Consciousness of the world around us
3) Information about our personal “mission” (i.e. our reason for coming to Earth)
4) Information about the higher dimensions

Our ego/self is most likely to consciously perceive information regarding how we interact with others in
our society. Although, if we believe that information from our superconscious mind is important to our
survival, we will desire and expect to consciously receive information from it. As we habitually,
consciously receive information from our SELF, it will become more familiar and easier to integrate into
our conscious reality.

However, most superconscious stimuli cannot be received by Beta waves as they resonate to a higher
frequency carrier wave, such as Alpha, Theta, and Delta. We can perceive the carrier frequency of the
superconscious only when we have expanded our consciousness to the extent that we can access
information from both our Higher Self and our Unconscious Self while we are conscious to the external,
physical world. Our challenge is to integrate that information into our daily life.


Beta waves focus our perceptions and awareness towards our external third dimensional reality. These
brainwaves must also organize all our conscious perceptions into the third dimensional construct of
space/time. Concurrently, it is this sequential space/time processing which calibrates our perception to
the third dimension.

Beta waves must also constantly differentiate between “me” and “not me” in order to maintain the
third dimensional illusion of separation. Then the Beta waves must also factor in the ever-increasing list
of limitations that maintain our ego within the physical reality. Beta waves belong to our ego’s sensory
mechanism. To perceive beyond the limitations of the ego, we must calibrate the frequency of our
consciousness away from the separation and limitations of our ego.

In Alpha wave consciousness, we limit the focus of our attention and therefore, our perception. If we
simply close our eyes and attune to our emotions, body sensations and thoughts, we can sense our
inner world. If we then learn to hear the inner music and see our inner pictures, we can create enough
“nowness” of perception to slow our brain’s frenetic energy to the Alpha waves. The Alpha waves will
then give us a glimpse of the ever-present fourth dimension. From the fourth dimension, time and space
begin to blur, as in our dreams. One moment we are “here” and the next moment we are “there.”
Shapes also morph so that we can experience third and fourth dimensional faces of our SELF within one

In the brainwave patterns of Theta and Delta everything is experienced simultaneously in the NOW.
Therefore our Delta and Theta experiences are “unconscious” to our third dimensional consciousness. In
order to integrate into our “conscious” life information we receive in Theta and Delta waves, these
perceptions must be formatted into the sequential function of our third dimensional brain. Otherwise, it
will resonate only to the fourth dimension and the third dimensional brain will not be able to perceive or
remember it. We can learn to use our focused Alpha brainwaves to transfer, or “download”, information
from Theta and Delta waves. Once these “files” are downloaded into our Alpha consciousness, they can
more easily be integrated into our everyday Beta consciousness.

The 70-85% of our brain that is usually unused is only accessed while our attention is focused on a
meditative and creative activity. When we learn to calibrate our consciousness through balancing our
emotions, calming our minds and attuning to our inner reality, we can access information from other
dimensions. As we consciously expand the full capacity of our personal computers—our brains—we will
be surprised by how much better they can serve us.

For example, with our multidimensional consciousness, we are able to use the Alpha Bridge to integrate
the otherwise unconscious spiritual guidance of Theta waves and the superconscious higher dimensional
information of Delta waves with our conscious, Beta wave thinking. It is within this balanced state of
Conscious, Unconscious and Superconsscious that we can BE our SELF.

A chakra is like a wheel that creates a vortex which can “download” energy from the
higher dimensions. This higher dimensional energy, known as prana (or chi), is not
physical. Prana is the life force or animating principle of our physical bodies. Our ego,
emotions, intellect and mind, as well as the physical elements of earth, water, air, fire,
and ether are creations of the life force within us.

This “downloaded” prana is an aspect of our consciousness in the same way that our
aura is, but it is denser than our aura and less dense than our physical body. Our
chakras interact with our physical system via a connection with a specific endocrine gland and nerve
plexus, which associates each chakra with a different area of our bodies. Chakras one through three, as
well as an explanation of how the chakras work, is in the Unconscious Section of this site.


The Fourth Chakra is the Heart Chakra. Chakras one through three are often called the lower chakras;
probably because they rule our “lower”, more primal nature, while chakras four through seven are often
called our higher chakras. The fifth and sixth chakras are an octave above the second and third chakras,
but they rule similar areas of physical life. For example, the fifth chakra rules creativity and
communication just like the second chakra, but the second chakra rules our basic communications in our
homes and our procreative creativity, while the fifth chakra rules our more complicated
communications and our creativity in the world.

The sixth chakra is an octave higher than the third chakra. Our third chakra rules our issues of “power
over” and “power within” and our abilities to tune into messages sent to us via the fourth dimension,
whereas our sixth chakra rules our spiritual power and our ability to commune with our higher guidance.

The first chakra (Root Chakra), the fourth chakra (Heart Chakra), and the seventh chakra (Crown Chakra)
are connected in a somewhat different fashion. Our Root Chakra brings our feminine, physically
manifest, energy up into our bodies and our Crown Chakra brings our masculine, spiritually unmanifest,
energy down into our bodies. These two transpersonal polarities meet with a burst of light in our Heart

Our Heart Chakra is also where our personal feminine/matter and masculine/spirit energies integrate.
Therefore, the Heart Chakra is often thought of as the chakra of relationships. These relationships begin
with the relationship between our inner male and female polarities as well as our human and divine
polarities. The success of these integrations has a strong impact upon our external relations and our
ability to be happy and successful in our lives.

Certain chakras demonstrate primarily masculine energy and others

demonstrate primarily feminine energy. Masculine energy flows outward and is
related to expression and action while feminine energy flows inward and is
related to reception and emotion.

Emotion here is defined as “energy in motion”. The second chakra (Navel

Chakra) and the sixth chakra (Third Eye) are of a feminine energy while the
third chakra (Solar Plexus Chakra) and fifth chakra (Throat Chakra) are of a masculine energy. Therefore,
we are receptive to emotions with our second-feminine chakra and express those emotions with our
masculine-fifth chakra through creativity and communication.

Our feminine-sixth chakra is an octave above our masculine-third chakra. Our sixth chakra allows us to
receive spiritual power and information from our higher guidance, and our third chakra can use our
personal power to express that information through “right action” and clear, intellectual and/or psychic

The first, fourth and seventh chakras hold both feminine and masculine energy. Therefore, these three
chakras assist us in learning how to integrate our masculine and feminine energy fields. The Root Chakra
pulls energy up from the earth to serve as a source of grounding and vitality, a quality which both men
and women need. The Crown Chakra pulls energy down from the universe to open our multidimensional
awareness, a quality which both men and women need.

The Heart Chakra is where we integrate our masculine and feminine energy as well as our human self
and spirit self. Within our Heart Chakra, we can raise our consciousness through the power of love or
lower our consciousness through the power of fear. Our Heart Chakra is where we wage our battle
between the Light and the Dark. Many cultures think of our Heart as the Seat of our Soul.

It is through our emotions that we are able to perceive the masculine and feminine energies of prana as
they enter our aura through our chakra system. The experience of intimacy is largely based on our
ability to consciously perceive these waves of energy in movement.

Fifth Chakra- Masculine Seventh Chakra-M&F Sixth Chakra- Feminine

Expression of emotion through Integration of masculine energy down into Reception of power
communication and creativity third dimensional male/female energy field through visions and higher
Heart Chakra-M&F
Integration of the masculine/feminine and
human/divine within us

Second Chakra-Feminine First Chakra-M&F Third Chakra-Masculine

Reception of emotions as Integration of feminine energy up into third Expression of power
energy in motion dimensional male/female energy field through actions and

The relationship between our internal masculine and feminine energy forms the basis of how we
interact with the world and with our “SELF”.


In our higher dimensional selves, we are androgynous beings who live in complete unity with ALL THAT
IS. We must remember that we have chosen to take on a third dimensional body so that we can learn
from the experience of separation. Whenever we take a physical incarnation we have the opportunity to
learn more about ourselves through the departmentalization of time and space. Our physical selves are
like scouts that forge ahead into the physical territory of separation and limitation so that we can
individualize a portion of ourselves for growing and advancement.

Unfortunately, the third dimension can be an extremely difficult plane and we are often so hurt by our
fear and pain that it appears, from the perspective of our human consciousness, that we have not grown
at all. However, from the perspective of our Soul, it is often these painful lives in which we learn the
most. Then there are lives where we have “remembered to remember” who we are. Within that
remembrance is the higher guidance that can carry us through the worst situations. At the end of these
incarnations we do not experience death. Instead, we experience a glorious reunion as we return Home
to our true self.


From the point of view of our Soul, we want to reunify with our
multidimensional spiritual self, and we often try to fulfill that need of
unification through relationships with other physical persons. We experience
this unification through deep and loving intimacy. However, in the third
dimension, deep intimacy is based on strong boundaries. If both parties of the
relationship are assured that they will NOT become lost, will not become
absorbed into the one with whom they are intimate, they can relax into the
moments of unity.

The definition of intimacy is the removal of barriers, but it is the deliberate choice of the removal that
creates the feeling of unity. If each one perceives their body and consciousness as their home, then they
can take responsibility for what happens in and around them. If we had no home, if we lived on the
street where we had no boundaries, we would feel so vulnerable all the time that we would not feel
safe. If we do not feel safe, then we will not allow ourselves to merge with another for fear that our Self
will be extinguished.

We have many words for love: I love ballgames, I love chocolate, I love competition, I love my hair. How
are these loves the same as or different from deep intimate love? Also, love and fear can become so
entangled that it is difficult to determine which is which. The first time we truly fall in love with someone
we surrender ourselves in a fashion that we never will again. In our naivety, we have not yet
experienced how much love can hurt. Then, when love returns as fear and pain, we have created no
boundaries and we are deeply wounded. Then the scar tissue builds and we are afraid to try intimacy

It is through creating the protective boundaries around our personal essence that we can gain
confidence that we will not allow another to steal who we are. If we see our ‘self’ as our home, we can
take the responsibility of maintaining that “home”. We can choose to “keep the door closed” and find
intimacy within or we can choose to “open the door” and invite someone into our Heart. Would we
allow just anyone into our home? Would we allow them to take anything that they want or destroy our
possessions? NO! We must think of our heart like our home. We have in our heart what is most valuable
to us and we can choose to share it with others—WHEN IT IS SAFE! We would not invite a burglar into
our home and we do not want to invite into our heart one who would harm us.

As we mature and learn to differentiate between our fear of intimacy and a warning form our higher self
that this person is not safe, we can feel confident enough to experience deep intimacy. When we love
ourselves, we will not allow others to harm us. However, love is not just about protecting and receiving.
Love, true interpersonal love, is about giving. We cannot give away what we do not have and if we
cannot love ourselves, then we cannot love another. True love is based upon acceptance. Only if we
truly accept ourselves, can we truly accept another. When we can learn Unconditional Love we will
activate our High Hearts, but that is often not until the Kundalini has reached our Crown Chakra.

LOCATION: The location of our fourth chakra is in our heart.

PETALS: This chakra rules the first of the higher vibrations. There are twelve spokes or
petals. Twelve in numerology reduces to the number three. Three is the number which
represents the relationship between Wisdom, Power and Love. It is this balance that is
a primary focus of the Heart Chakra. Wisdom without Love and Power would be cruel
and weak. Power without Wisdom and Love would be dangerous and selfish, and Love without Power
and Wisdom would be victimized and foolish. In our hearts we must learn how to find and join all three
of these virtues.

NOTES AND MANTRA: The note for this chakra is F# and the mantra is “Yam” or “a” as in ah. Chanting
theses mantras in the key of F# while focusing our attention on this area of our body can enable us to
more consciously access the Heart Chakra.

COLOR: The color for this chakra is green (and pink for the High Heart). Green is the middle color on
the light spectrum and represents healing, growth and health.

RULES: The Heart Chakra is the hub of our bodies, the center point where our internal masculine and
feminine and our human and divine energies meet. The fourth chakra rules ALL of our intra- and inter-
personal relationships. This chakra rules our perception of love, our ability to give and receive love from
others, our highest essence, and ourselves. Our High Heart rules Unconditional Love and the lower Heart
rules human love. It also governs compassion, healing, lungs, breath, and our sense of time, which is tied
into the rhythmic cycles of our breath and heart beat.

SENSE: The Heart Chakra rules our sense of touch. Touch is the first intimacy that we know as infants
and remains our most powerful unspoken means of communication throughout our lives. Touch can be
the most loving or the most fearful means of communication. It is in our hearts that we learn about
touch and how we, in turn, wish to touch others.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Libra is the sign of relationships and Venus, the planet of love, rules it. Libra
teaches us to balance our attention and love between our self and those that we love. Venus urges us to
strive for contact, love, harmony and the augmentation of self.

ELEMENT: Air is the element that is ruled by this chakra. The fourth chakra also rules our lungs, which is
how we bring air—oxygen—into our bodies. The relationship between our lungs and our heart is vital.
Without the fresh oxygen that our lungs drive into our hearts, our red blood cells could not carry vital
life-force throughout our bodies.

CONSCIOUSNESS: The fourth chakra rules our everyday, conscious lives. However, even in the most
scientific person, some fourth dimensional aspects of empathy and intuition arise. The Heart Chakra
rules our family and community consciousness, and it is through our hearts that we strive for unity
consciousness with all life and with Mother Earth Herself.

Our “human love” can often be filled with negativity, fear, hatred and cruelty. However, if we can
function from our “High Heart”, our love is Unconditional and we are accepting and free of judgment. It
is the challenge of our hearts to connect with and receive the love of our spiritual SELF so that we can
heal the harm that others have done to us. Then, from the heart space of healing and self-love, we can
love others as well.

PERSONAL TIMELINE: This chakra represents the adolescent stage of life. In adolescence, a child
creates his or her own identity, and to do this, they often rebel against those who have loved and guided
them. They then must find the qualities of Wisdom, Power and Love that they have received from their
inner and outer realities to develop the persona they wish to live.
SOCIAL TIMELINE: The time era best represented by the Heart Chakra is the Renaissance. It was during
the Renaissance that art and beauty was reborn after a long and painful dark age. The concept of
“nations” began to replace the reality of “empires,” and worship was focused primarily on one God.

ENDOCRINE GLAND: The endocrine gland for this chakra is the Thymus Gland, which is the core of our
immune system and vital for our healing. Often it has been said, “love heals”. Both the psychological and
the physiological centers of healing are in the Heart Chakra. The heart is known as the symbol of life. In
metaphysical literature it is said that the Atma, which is the Three-Fold Flame of Life, is activated at our
birth and extinguished at our death.

NERVE PLEXUS: The nerve plexus for this chakra is the cardiac plexus, which is the neurological hub for
the heart, lungs and the blood circulatory system. Without the circulation of blood and oxygen, we
cannot live in our third dimensional world.

CLEAR: When our Heart Chakra is clear and balanced we can experience love, compassion, acceptance
and fulfillment. Our heart and respiratory system are strong and healthy, we have a good immune
system, and we feel calm and joyful. We are able to balance our masculine and feminine aspects as well
as our human and our divine aspects. Our relationship with our SELF and with others is happy, and we
have found our service to our family, our community, our nation and our planet.

UNCLEAR: When our Heart Chakra is unclear, we have an immune deficiency, lack of joy, heart
problems, and bitterness in life. We are insensitive, emotionally closed, passive and sad. We have
cardio-vascular or respiratory problems. We may suffer from hypertension, a stroke, a heart attack or
asthma. Our lives often feel unfulfilled and we have not found our position in our family and in our
community. Our relationships are unloving because we are as unable to receive love, as we are to give
it. We are often critical, judgmental, uncompassionate and joyless.

EARTH CHAKRA: Earth’s Heart Chakra is Haleakala, Maui. One visit to the verdant growth and aromatic
breeze of Maui is enough to understand why it is Mother Earth’s heart.

DIMENSIONS: The Heart Chakra rules the Beta wave consciousness of everyday third dimensional life
and the Alpha wave consciousness which is the bridge to the higher dimensions. When our heart is
open, we can live the beauty of every moment, smell every rose, create a reality of love and harmony
and combine our superconscious guidance with our mundane life.

Metaphysically, the Heart Chakra rules the areas of the brain that are the higher cortex and abstract
thinking. These areas are best activated when we are “in the groove” of handling our everyday reality
and when we have taken the time and focus to access our creative self.

SUMMARY: Our Heart Chakra determines our ability to expand our consciousness. There is no degree
of meditation that will access the higher dimensions if we cannot open our hearts to love. Without love
we could not travel beyond the Lower Astral Plane and our consciousness would be limited to the
separation and limitation represented by our ego self.

Above all else, it is LOVE that allows us to climb the stairs to our observer self and allow true objectivity
in our lives. From a perspective of objectivity, we can be free of the desires and passions of everyday
life. Then we can be free to find our meaning as we progress through the development of our
consciousness from dependent—to independent—to dependable.

When our Heart Chakra is opened, our sense of self is not limited to our ego. When we have learned to
balance our masculine/feminine and human/divine energies, we expand our SELF from individual
consciousness—to family consciousness—to a community consciousness—to national consciousness—
to planetary consciousness. Then we are ONE with the Mother, Lady Gaia, and we can realize that
whatever we do to another member upon the body of Earth, we do to ourselves.

I live in mountains high above

And in they clouds they touch with Love

I live in valleys deep below

And in the caves my light does glow

Within the heights and far beneath

My inner self holds the belief

The belief that I shall never end

As just a spark—my Source did send

A spark from regions far beyond

Came down to earth to form a bond

A bond between the sky and earth

MY spirit into matter’s birth

As I awake for journey’s end

No need to lie, or to pretend

I am here and I am there

I’m everyplace and everywhere

I hold my heart within my mind

I AM the SELF I seek to find

MY awareness I prepare to wake

To spirit’s journey that I take

Beyond the limits I have known

Into the Oneness I’ve been shown
A Personal Experience
Of the Rising Kundalini

Opening of the Heart chakra

TIME FRAME 1985-1988

The opening of the chakra just above it usually precedes the final initiation of a chakra. Therefore, my
final initiation for the third chakra was in 1986, but the opening of the fourth chakra first began in 1985
with the death of my beloved grandmother. In fact, both of my grandmothers died that year. As I was
claiming my power, the “grandmother generation” died. This pushed my mother into the
“grandmother” role and me firmly into her role as “mother”. The baton was passed on to the next
generation and my power within the family unit increased. Even though I had been a mother for quite
some time, now it was time to be a mentor. (See Maiden, Mother, and Mentor behind the Behavior
Door in the Conscious Section.)


The fourth, heart chakra represents our love relationships on a horizontal plane with persons, places,
and all life forms as well as our love relationship (or lack of it) with ourselves. The high heart represents
our unconditional love on a vertical plane with our higher dimensional guides and higher dimensional
selves. The high heart does not totally open until after Kundalini has traveled into the Crown Chakra to
join with Her completion. However, grounding of unconditional love into our third dimensional heart
greatly expands our consciousness and heals our “broken hearts”. I will talk about the opening of my
lower heart here and talk about the experience of opening my high heart later.

In 1985 I was still receiving spiritual communications from Lo