Constructive Feedback

It’s Time For Some Tips And For

Some Self-Reflection

In more than one video I explained that this course is not about verbal communication
techniques, nonetheless, here are a few tips. Whether they are of help to you or not will
probably depend on whether or not you are skilled when it comes to effective
communication.
Sometimes a manager’s efforts during performance management can produce negative
consequences. And this is most often due to the choice of words used by the manager. For
example, staff may feel that they are being interrogated, or bullied, or accused.
It is so very important to weight your words, because the words you choose to use can
help to make or break the effectiveness of a performance management session.

Tip No 1: Focus on behaviour and not personality.

For example: “I’ve noticed that you’re been late for work two days this week – you’re
irresponsible” is a no-no. The staff member is being labelled.
Instead, be factual: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been late for work 2 days this week. On
Monday you were 20 minutes late, and on Friday it was after 9.30 when you walked
through the door”.

Tip No 2. Words to avoid

Avoid using the words “always or “never” when describing a behaviour or performance
issue, as per example: “You always arrive late to work”. Most likely this statement is not
factual as most probably the staff member is often on time. Generalizations like this will
only serve to antagonize and alienate.

Tip No 3: You need to identify the heart of the staff problem.

You need to drill down by asking the right open-ended questions, such as:
“What are you having difficulty with?”
“What do you think is the difficulty?”
“When you………, did you consider………..?”
Tip No 4: Asking questions is a great way to prompt self-reflection.
For example:
“Could you have……?”
“ Did you consider…..?
“Thinking back, is there anything you could have done differently?”

Tip No 5: Show you care and want to help.

This can be done by asking:

“How can I make your job easier?”

“How can I help?”
“What type of support from me would help you?”

Tip No 6: Understand the distinction between using ‘I’ ‘you’ and ‘we’.

It is said that the sign of a true leader is when he/she uses the all-inclusive word ‘we’
during a conversation, such as:
“How can we solve this?”
There are times when using ‘we’ is not appropriate, and either ‘I’ or ‘you’ should be used
instead. If you perhaps have not done any studies in this area, you may find it valuable to
read up on it.

So there you have them, some tips, which are by no means exhaustive. They are primarily
there as food for thought:
• When having a constructive feedback conversation, how good are your
communications skills?

• Are the words that you use, your body language, and tone of voice, helping to build
the relationship? Are they relaxing the staff member, getting them to open up and be
engaged in the conversation?

• In order to get the desired outcomes from a constructive feedback session, do you
need to improve your communication skills? If so, when and how will you do this?