August 14, 2020

Dear Mam,

I have so many mixed feelings that I can hardly wonder where

to start when it comes to saying goodbye. I shared many moments
with you, moments that will remain in my heart forever, although I
know that what is ours has come here. I will not deny that it hurts,
because a part of me is still where you are. But I am also aware that
things have changed enormously and I will no longer force myself to
force them.

I have cried so many times for you and also laughed because of
you, that I look back and I can’t believe that things can end at this
moment.  You told me that it was the best for both of us, because at
this point, we can no longer continue in the same direction. We have
to be in different places and moments and honestly, I accept it, but I
still can’t find the strength to overcome it. So hard is having to say
goodbye.

We have to take separate paths and if one day we meet again,

I hope to be able to look at them with affection and be observed in the
same way;  because if sometimes we hurt each other, there were more
occasions when we made each other happy. Days that would not
change for anything in the world, although today I feel like crying and
I keep wondering, what happened to us and how did we get to this
point?  I guess these are answers that I will take a little while to
discover, or maybe I will never know.

At some point I will learn to live with memories, although

unfortunately I know it will not be today, nor tomorrow. What hurts
the most is not so much the farewell, but knowing that we could do a
lot of things better, avoid so much trouble … and who knows if we will
still consider some hope at this moment.  I accept it, a part of me
would like to do it. I miss that time when we wanted to discover
together what we could achieve in the future, in which we began to
have intense feelings for each other and there seemed to be nothing
that could end what we were living.
 But time can be the worst enemy of love, when it is not
destined to remain. Now the end of one of the most beautiful and
painful stages of my life has come, but I don’t regret having lived it
with you. I don’t know what to expect tomorrow or if I will ever meet
someone with whom I have to stay and who can fill the void you have
left in me.

Be that as it may, I just want you to know that I loved you a

lot, more than I could get to love another person.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and I can only
tell you that I will remember you.

Loved you, Ivan.